0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Hello, hello and welcome to the show.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38I'm Juliette Lewis, your host for this evening.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Isn't this what you've always wanted?
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Me, hosting a pop quiz? Well, tonight...
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Yeah! Tonight, your dreams have come true.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Maybe they're my dreams.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Let the fun and the games begin.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Are you ready?
0:00:51 > 0:00:54On Noel's team tonight is...
0:00:54 > 0:00:59She famously sang, "When I grow up, I want to be famous,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02"I want to be a star, I want to be in movies."
0:01:02 > 0:01:06Failing that, she'll take a seat on a mediocre pop quiz.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09It's Kimberly Wyatt.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:13 > 0:01:17He's one half of the funniest double act in showbiz,
0:01:17 > 0:01:21unless you include Simon Cowell's man boobs,
0:01:21 > 0:01:23it's Vic Reeves.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:28 > 0:01:30And on Phill's team tonight...
0:01:30 > 0:01:32# We say goodbye in the pouring rain... #
0:01:32 > 0:01:35He's part of the synth-pop duo Hurts,
0:01:35 > 0:01:37so he should fit right in on this show
0:01:37 > 0:01:39because it's going to be painful.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42It's Theo Hutchcraft.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:47 > 0:01:50He's a Radio 1 DJ and a T4 presenter.
0:01:50 > 0:01:56He couldn't be cooler if he was playing Hacky Sack on a skateboard with Roland Rat,
0:01:56 > 0:01:59it's Nick Cowabunga Grimshaw.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Cowabunga?
0:02:04 > 0:02:06I don't know what I'm saying.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I'm sort of a puppeteer...
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- No, I'm the puppet. No, that's not good. - LAUGHTER
0:02:11 > 0:02:14You are the puppeteer and we are merely your puppets.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18OK. I'll try to think that way.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Um...
0:02:19 > 0:02:24So we begin with Don't You Know Who I Am?
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Noel, Vic, Kimberly, take a look at this.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27# I'm still standing
0:02:27 > 0:02:29# Better than I ever did... #
0:02:29 > 0:02:31He wanders around in tracksuits, loves football,
0:02:31 > 0:02:34he says Saturday nights are all right for fighting.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38If it wasn't for David Furnish, he'd be the straightest man in pop.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40It's Elton John.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43# ..I'm still standing
0:02:43 > 0:02:45# Yeah, yeah, yeah... #
0:02:45 > 0:02:48That was Elton John with I'm Still Standing,
0:02:48 > 0:02:52but what did he demand while on tour in Germany in the '70s?
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- Oh, that's easy. Carry on. - LAUGHTER
0:02:56 > 0:03:01A, was it that he be allowed to speak German despite not being able to?
0:03:01 > 0:03:06Was it B, that his agent do something about the weather?
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Or, C, that everybody pretends they were in France?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12A, B or C? What?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Every one of those is mental.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Like, there's not one that's normal.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- It's not your question.- It's an observation of the mentalness.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- I met Elton John once.- Did you?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- I went to his house.- No!
0:03:25 > 0:03:29And he's got a swimming pool with like a pair of specs,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32one with salt water and one with fresh water.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35One with cod in it and one with trout.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Anyway...
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Honestly, I can't...
0:03:38 > 0:03:45In his recent autopsy, it was discovered that he's got no bones in his legs.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Which makes that video a bit redundant, if you ask me.
0:03:51 > 0:03:57Also, apparently, he taught a sort of lemur to fire peaches at him out of a tennis ball machine.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01One knocked his house so he fired him.
0:04:01 > 0:04:02And that...
0:04:02 > 0:04:05That lemur's now living in Croydon in...
0:04:05 > 0:04:07er, a shopping centre.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11- He also...- Oh, my God, yeah? - I don't know if anyone knows this,
0:04:11 > 0:04:14but he lived in a haunted telephone box for many years,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17which accounts for his style.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Juliette, you must have got an answer out of that lot?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- I can't believe... - LAUGHTER
0:04:22 > 0:04:26So, that was all really fascinating.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30But none of those answers were A, B and C. So...
0:04:30 > 0:04:36But maybe Kimberly can throw some light on it because you met Elton John, right?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I did. I performed with Elton at an awards show.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41He played the piano and I sat on the back dancing.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- On the back of the piano? - On the back of the bench.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45On the back of the bench!
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- Really? - On his back as he trotted around.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Did he have any bones in his legs?
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- I don't know, he was sitting so I couldn't tell.- Exactly.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I assume that he does.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- Are your eyes real?- They are.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59I grew 'em myself.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01They're so green! It's frightening.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- They look like science-fiction eyes. - Yeah?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Yeah.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09They actually penetrated through Noel to my hand then.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Special powers.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15So, A, B or C, what do you guess?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I say, by watching the video, it would be C.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20- Really?- I think it's B.- Really?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- I KNOW it's B.- What, his agent...
0:05:22 > 0:05:26He tried to command the wind... when I was with him.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30And when he was in Germany, he tried to command the wind there.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34Kimberly has ridden his shoulder so I think Kimberly knows.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Wait... I don't know how to do this if somebody said B and somebody said C.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- Well, he said A.- I said A.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46Vic, I'm going to say that you're a genius. And it is B.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48You are correct, sir.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - I've been to Elton's house.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54The answer is B, while struggling to sleep one night,
0:05:54 > 0:05:59he phoned his agent to demand that something be done about the wind outside.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Elton and David were saddened recently when there were told
0:06:02 > 0:06:05they couldn't adopt a young Ukrainian child
0:06:05 > 0:06:08because they were described as being too old.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Now, for those who don't speak Ukrainian,
0:06:11 > 0:06:13"old" roughly translates as
0:06:13 > 0:06:15"massively gay". So...
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Sad.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Phill, Theo, and Nick, have a look at this.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27# Why you so obsessed with me...? #
0:06:27 > 0:06:31The UK hasn't seen much of this lady since she was a guest mentor on the X Factor.
0:06:31 > 0:06:36Presumably it's because Cheryl Cole managed to have her deported.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39It's Mariah Carey.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42# ..Boy, you're losing You're losing your mind... #
0:06:42 > 0:06:46That was Mariah Carey with Obsessed.
0:06:46 > 0:06:52Now, my question for you is, what does she demand for her dog at her shows?
0:06:52 > 0:06:55A, it only be bathed in mineral water?
0:06:55 > 0:07:00B, her entourage stage a theatrical show for the dog's enjoyment?
0:07:00 > 0:07:07Or C, someone dresses up as Mariah so the dog doesn't forget about her while she's on stage?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- All mental. - Again, every one is mental.
0:07:09 > 0:07:14Can I just say the key word there was "delusional". It's the only word I picked out.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17And she plays EVERY character. What is this? The beard was the weirdest.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Look at her.- Look at the beard!- Yeah!
0:07:20 > 0:07:26What it is, she demands puppies and kittens when she arrives in places.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- That can't be true. - What does she do? Go, "Puppy, great!"
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Bin. Bin.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35- Bin.- She doesn't kill them!
0:07:35 > 0:07:39- It's not puppies or kittens, it's puppies AND kittens.- Yeah, they mix.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40Surely they hate that?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42They're fighty and pissy.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46That's what she likes about it, the raw animal nature.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- Do you think they remind her of herself?- Maybe.- Fighty and pissy.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57She saddles them up. Races kitten armies.
0:07:57 > 0:08:03I always demand several otters bathed in turpentine whenever I turn up at World Of Sport.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10I was in your dressing room, that's true. I thought they were slippers.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14I have to interrupt because I am interested about what you do and your music
0:08:14 > 0:08:18and I think it's incredible and you recorded a song with Kylie.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22- We did.- How did that happen? She's incredible.- She's tiny.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26They put a glass over her.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Got a postcard and slid it under.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32- Smuggled her in the mail? What's the song she sings on?- Devotion.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37I'd love it to be some sort of a fairy-tale, but we just wrote her a letter
0:08:37 > 0:08:41that just said, "G-day. Are you up for it?"
0:08:41 > 0:08:43She was like, "G'day. I'll do it."
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I sent her a letter like that - nothing.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48I suppose it's the Polaroids.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Who's the coolest person you've ever sung a duet with?
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I'd have to say Lemmy from Motorhead.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58That's amazing.
0:08:58 > 0:08:59APPLAUSE
0:08:59 > 0:09:01I can't classify it as a duet.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03It was really I sang back-up on...
0:09:03 > 0:09:05- SHE SHOUTS:- Kill By Death!
0:09:05 > 0:09:06LAUGHTER
0:09:06 > 0:09:08That's how it goes.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10The wart - is it real or is it playdough?
0:09:12 > 0:09:13That's Kylie, crouching.
0:09:13 > 0:09:18PHILL LAUGHS
0:09:19 > 0:09:21So, is it A, B or C?
0:09:21 > 0:09:26- We're going to try the technique that worked so well for Team Fielding.- OK.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29I think it's B.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- You might think it's something else. - I think it's A.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36I want to go with the one, just because the fascinating situation of someone dressed up as her.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40- So we each think it's something different.- A, B or C.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Is there a commander of this ship?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44What's the rule book?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- It's you!- You're the commander!
0:09:46 > 0:09:51Don't! Yes! The judge has spoken.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Somebody is right on this team.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:09:56 > 0:10:01What the fuck is it? It was number A.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- Yeah!- I was right.- Go, Grimmy.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08So Mariah demands that her dog be bathed in mineral water.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11That dog is so pampered.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16I really feel for the guy she hired to sniff its arse and lick its balls.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20That was me. That was me.
0:10:21 > 0:10:26Next up, it's the intros round.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Noel and Kimberly, here are yours for Vic.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32I love your teeth, you maniac!
0:10:34 > 0:10:40You look like I'm about to sacrifice you in... LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:10:40 > 0:10:43whilst a simpleton looks on.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48You look a bit like Prince William with them.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50I don't know what you mean.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54OK, do you want to count us in?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56One, two,
0:10:56 > 0:10:57three, four.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00# Jing jing jing jinga Jing jing jing jinga
0:11:00 > 0:11:04# Bom bom bom bom bom bom bom
0:11:04 > 0:11:05# Ga-doo
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- # Ba-doo - Donk, donk, donk, donk
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- # Ba-doo - Donk, donk, donk, donk
0:11:10 > 0:11:13# Chicka-chick chicka-chick chicka-chick ching. #
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Is it the Small Faces?
0:11:16 > 0:11:17I wish it was.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22- I don't know who that was. What was that?- Do you want it again?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25- Yeah, go on.- I thought we were quite good.- I do too.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28# Dink dink-ah Dink dink dink dink-ah
0:11:28 > 0:11:29# Dink dink dink
0:11:29 > 0:11:32# Ba-doo, ba-doo
0:11:32 > 0:11:33# Ba-doo-noo-noo-noo
0:11:33 > 0:11:35# Chickata chickata chickata ching! #
0:11:35 > 0:11:38It's a little fast.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40It's sort of that song if they were doing crystal meth.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Do y'all have that out here? I'd slow it down a little.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47We're phasing it out.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50I think I know it.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Is it the Kinks?- Ooh!
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Am I in the right area?
0:11:53 > 0:11:57NOEL MAKES A HIGH-PITCHED NOISE
0:11:57 > 0:11:59You need to go a little bit forward.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- Forward?- Not too far.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06# Chigga digga digga dum Da-doom doom doom
0:12:06 > 0:12:09# Cig chig chig chigga... #
0:12:09 > 0:12:10The Andrews Sisters.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Yeah! No. Who?
0:12:13 > 0:12:16OK, pass it over to Phill's team.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Can you take this?- Yes.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- Do you know what this song is?- No!
0:12:21 > 0:12:25I think it's the theme to Birds Of A Feather.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29# When we are far
0:12:29 > 0:12:31# And far away
0:12:31 > 0:12:33# What'll I do? #
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Leave it out!
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Is it?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39No.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40Do you give up?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Is it The Clash, London Calling?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44You better believe it!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Over to you, it's a steal!
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Here's how it should have sounded.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55MUSIC: "London Calling" by The Clash
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Ah, the bass.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03# London calling... #
0:13:03 > 0:13:07All right, next intro, next intro, please. What do you have for us?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- It goes downhill from here.- It does.
0:13:09 > 0:13:14It's like a Time Lord dating site. "Looking for singles from the 1930s?"
0:13:14 > 0:13:18LAUGHTER
0:13:18 > 0:13:22"Freshly off the register, Harold is looking for a new soul mate."
0:13:25 > 0:13:26And...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28One, two, three, four...
0:13:28 > 0:13:31# De-de-de... #
0:13:31 > 0:13:33- # Dow-dow... # - I don't have it in me!
0:13:33 > 0:13:35# Bow! De-de-de
0:13:35 > 0:13:36# Da-dink dink dink dink
0:13:36 > 0:13:38# Bow!
0:13:38 > 0:13:40# Chinken-dink bah ba-da-dow
0:13:40 > 0:13:44# That is nothing like it Bow da-duh whoo... #
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Car Wash?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48# ..Da-da-da-da-da-da-da... #
0:13:48 > 0:13:51NOEL CAWS Whoo whoo-oo!
0:13:51 > 0:13:55Somebody stop this before I cut my penis off and eat it!
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Sounds a little bit like a dirty movie, what you guys are going for
0:14:00 > 0:14:04- and that's not... - # Bom chicka wah-wah! #
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Is it Bonkadelic?
0:14:05 > 0:14:06I'll give you a clue.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08It's a female singer
0:14:08 > 0:14:10and she is a badass.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- Elaine Paige.- Yes.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14LAUGHTER
0:14:14 > 0:14:17The answer is Grace Jones.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20# Pull to the bumper, baby. #
0:14:20 > 0:14:23No-one would ever have got that, ever.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Here's how it should've sounded.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29MUSIC: "Pull Up To The Bumper" by Grace Jones
0:14:29 > 0:14:34VIC MIMES TO SONG'S BASS LINE
0:14:34 > 0:14:37That was Pull Up To The Bumper, Baby, by Grace Jones.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38The lyrics to the song go...
0:14:38 > 0:14:44# Pull up to my bumper, baby In your large black limousine
0:14:44 > 0:14:49# Pull up to my bumper, baby And drive it in between...? #
0:14:49 > 0:14:54Hang on a minute, I think I'm spotting the subtext here.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59I think Grace Jones want someone to crash a car into her asshole.
0:15:00 > 0:15:05We also heard The Clash with London Calling.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08The cover for London Calling famously features the band
0:15:08 > 0:15:13smashing up a guitar on stage and is one of the most iconic images in rock and roll.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17Nothing will match it until N-Dubz smashes up Dappy.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21- Phill's team, you better shape up. - Yes, madam.
0:15:21 > 0:15:27- Here are yours, I'm giving you the intros, let's make it happen.- OK.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30My team is quite strong, so this is going to be difficult.
0:15:30 > 0:15:35I don't have any fake teeth to make this funny, but mine are pretty funny already. Have a go on yours?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37- What are you talking about?- Oh.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41One, two, three, four...
0:15:41 > 0:15:45# Dow, dow-dow-dow, dow
0:15:45 > 0:15:50# Dow, dow-dow-dow Dow-dow, dow-dow-dow-dow
0:15:50 > 0:15:53# Dah-dah, dow-dow Dow, dow-dow
0:15:53 > 0:15:58# Da-da-dow, dow-dow Da-da, dow-dow
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- I can hear it in my head! Sorry. - Tell me the answer, then.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02I'm not.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06I've got absolutely no idea. I tried not to look at you, to like just...
0:16:06 > 0:16:09I get a lot of that!
0:16:09 > 0:16:12- I liked it, but I don't know what it is.- You guys take it.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Do you know the answer?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15You Shook Me All Night Long!
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Yes, people!
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Here is how it should've sounded.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27MUSIC: "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC
0:16:27 > 0:16:29You're on it!
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Yes, that was pretty good, actually. Sorry, guys.
0:16:34 > 0:16:39Can I get on this and do a little bit of...? Sorry.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Yeah, dude, you know this move?
0:16:43 > 0:16:44I'm sorry.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57OK. Next intro, please.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59OK.
0:17:00 > 0:17:08# Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba
0:17:08 > 0:17:10# Doo, doo, doo!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12# Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba
0:17:17 > 0:17:21# Chicky, chicky Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba... #
0:17:21 > 0:17:27- That was good, wasn't it? - Everybody knows it, but you.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30You know cos you've got it there.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Well, no, it's because I'm a little older than you and I know when this song came out.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37What year? Then maybe I'll be able to work it out.
0:17:37 > 0:17:43Oh, OK, well, I was ditching junior high and hanging out in my room,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46- alone. I spent a lot of time there...- What were you doing?
0:17:49 > 0:17:54And I was listening to this song and it was on the radio and it was 1986.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Ah. It's good, because I was two.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01Noel's team?
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Rock Me Amadeus. Falco.
0:18:02 > 0:18:07# Baby, baby, do, do me, rock me. #
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Here's how it should have sounded.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13MUSIC: "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco
0:18:19 > 0:18:22HE MUMBLES
0:18:22 > 0:18:23- There you go.- What was that bit?
0:18:23 > 0:18:27That was Falco with Rock Me Amadeus.
0:18:27 > 0:18:33Falco was planning a comeback in 1998, when he crashed into a bus and died.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37As comebacks go, it's still better than Blue's.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43Round three is the identity parade.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47Noel, Vic and Kimberley, how about some Latin American beats?
0:18:47 > 0:18:52For the audience only, here are Kid Creole And The Coconuts.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58# Oh, Annie
0:18:59 > 0:19:01# I'm not your daddy
0:19:04 > 0:19:07# Oh, Annie
0:19:08 > 0:19:10# I'm not your daddy. #
0:19:10 > 0:19:14That was Kid Creole And The Coconuts with Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19But which one of our line-up is percussionist Coati Mundi?
0:19:19 > 0:19:23Is it number one, Coati Mundi?
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Number two, Happy Mondays?
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Number three, Man Friday?
0:19:29 > 0:19:33Number four, one of The Saturdays?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Or number five, see you next Tuesday?
0:19:39 > 0:19:40Hey!
0:19:42 > 0:19:47I'm going to give it over to you guys, since you're winning. So you have any guesses?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Yes, I have.- You saw them recently.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54I've seen Kid Creole And The Coconuts recently at a campsite.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00I did, I saw them. They were on.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Were they staying in a tent?
0:20:02 > 0:20:05They were performing in a tent at the campsite.
0:20:05 > 0:20:11Coati Mundi, the midget bongo player, was there
0:20:11 > 0:20:16and I know him, I can see him. He's actually been staring me out,
0:20:16 > 0:20:19because he knows that I nicked his tent pegs.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25He knows it was me that let his tent down in the night.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- Did you graffiti his fly sheet? - Look at him, staring.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Can you see him?- Yes. - Number two.- I know.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34- Can you see him staring me out? - I can.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Not only did I lay his tent pegs down, I nicked his bongos as well.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40And used them as a toilet.
0:20:41 > 0:20:46Can we get this over with, because he's been staring me out, he's bugging me?
0:20:46 > 0:20:51- Let's find out. Will the real... - Wait a sec, wait a sec!
0:20:53 > 0:20:54- Whoa!- Let's find out...
0:20:54 > 0:20:58My bus has already gone.
0:20:58 > 0:21:02- Who have you said?- Number two, of course it's number two.
0:21:02 > 0:21:08Coati Mundi, and I'm sorry that I nicked your tent pegs and your bongos.
0:21:08 > 0:21:14It's got to be number two. Look at his moustache, like a horseshoe.
0:21:14 > 0:21:20Let's find out. Would the real Coati Mundi please step forward?
0:21:20 > 0:21:24Hey!
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Woo!
0:21:27 > 0:21:33With his new album, Coati Mundi's Dancing For The Cabana Code In The Land Of Boo-Hoo.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Coati Mundi, ladies and gentlemen.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:44 > 0:21:48Phill, Nick, Theo, what about some '80s R&B jazz-funk?
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- My favourite.- For the audience only, here is Nu Shooz.
0:21:51 > 0:21:57# You got something that I can't live without
0:22:00 > 0:22:08# Happiness is so hard to find
0:22:09 > 0:22:17# Hey, baby Tell me what is on your mind. #
0:22:17 > 0:22:20That was Nu Shooz with I Can't Wait.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Which one of our line-up is singer Valerie Day?
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Is it number one, Nu Shooz?
0:22:26 > 0:22:30Number two, old loafers?
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Number three, UGG boots?
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Number four, verruca socks?
0:22:37 > 0:22:42Or number five, load of old cobblers?
0:22:42 > 0:22:47- Um, OK, do you guys have a guess? - It looks like a meeting of dinner ladies, which is interesting.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Which is a nice thing because one of you isn't and we're going to pick the one that's not.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56You're implying that four of them are!
0:22:56 > 0:22:57One of them is staring at me so bad.
0:22:57 > 0:23:03I think you'll find the five of them are staring at you now!
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Number two looks like she's going to kill me. Look at that.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11Number two looks like Courtney Love.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Like, in a compliment, I like her.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15In a good way.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17I love this song.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21I love this song, this is another one of my 1986...
0:23:21 > 0:23:26- When you're in your room on your own?- Smoking lots of pot, OK? Sorry, I did.
0:23:26 > 0:23:32I think it's maybe one, three or five.
0:23:33 > 0:23:38- Could you do like a sort of early, is it '80s or '90s? - '86, 1986.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Like '80s sort of moves for us now?
0:23:40 > 0:23:43It's not two.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47I think it's three.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Three, me.
0:23:49 > 0:23:56OK, I honestly am such a big fan of Nu Shooz and this song and the singer and I want to find out.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00Would the real Valerie Day please step forward?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Still performing with Nu Shooz and with a new album,
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Pandora's Box, out now, Valerie Day, ladies and gentlemen.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:22 > 0:24:26And at the end of that round, the scores are Noel's team - four.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Woo!
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Phill, with two!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40So we end with next lines.
0:24:40 > 0:24:45Noel's team, are you, er, fudging sickles? Let me try that again...
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Shish kebabs?
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Flipping, er, high fives?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- You do know we're live tonight, don't you?- Oh, my dear.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57You should do Children In Need.
0:24:57 > 0:25:03I'm really getting that this show is the blind leading the blind. Is that what we're here to learn?
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- It looks like it, doesn't it?- Yes.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Thank you, Vic. We end with next lines.
0:25:10 > 0:25:16Noel's team are in the lead, so you go first and your time starts now!
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Your time starts now!
0:25:22 > 0:25:26# I'm so dizzy My head is spinning... #
0:25:28 > 0:25:29NOEL: # Like a whirl... #
0:25:29 > 0:25:31VIC MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY
0:25:31 > 0:25:33# Telephone, but...
0:25:33 > 0:25:35# Want to telephone, but... #
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Like a whirlpool, it never ends.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Yes! Thank you, Noel.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40That's right, that's what I said.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46# Don't you wish your girlfriend... #
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Was hot like me?
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Don't you wish your girlfriend could...
0:25:50 > 0:25:51Kimberley, you know this!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Freak like me!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Yes, yes, she was a freak!
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Glaciers fall, but still won't leave you.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Is this yours? This you again?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- Concentrate, green eyes.- Yes.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09SHE HUMS
0:26:09 > 0:26:12I need sound so I can see you!
0:26:12 > 0:26:14That is Her Majesty & The Wolves.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Is this going all right? I don't know.
0:26:17 > 0:26:23Welcome to Shooting Stars.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Welcome, whoever you are.
0:26:23 > 0:26:28Yes, Vic Reeves, Shooting Stars theme song, you freaks!
0:26:28 > 0:26:33# We're the kids in America! #
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Whoa-oh!
0:26:33 > 0:26:37- Did someone win? Oh... - APPLAUSE
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- I think you're doing really well. - Thank you, Noel.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45I'm liking your performance immensely.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49OK, you know what, it's just encouraging the creepy, so...
0:26:50 > 0:26:56Phill's team, you need eight points to win, your time starts now.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00And then a hero comes along...
0:26:58 > 0:27:00With the strength to carry on.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Yes! Mariah Carey, Hero. Oh, it's...
0:27:02 > 0:27:05I listen to it sometimes, don't look at me like that.
0:27:05 > 0:27:11Sometimes when I'm feeling low, I put it on. Carry on.
0:27:11 > 0:27:17Oh, it's such a perfect day.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Such a perfect day.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17I'm glad I spent it with you.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Yes! Lou Reed, Perfect Day.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- Back in black. - I don't know the next line.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24I hit the fucking sack!
0:27:24 > 0:27:26AC/DC, Back In Black.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29I don't like them. Next question.
0:27:31 > 0:27:38She's got a story to tell and it won't take long.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38Show me on the puppet what he did wrong.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41APPLAUSE
0:27:44 > 0:27:48You were so close. It's a song I wrote off my last record,
0:27:48 > 0:27:52Terra Incognita. So many different ways it all went wrong, so there you go.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Personal ditty.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58END-OF-ROUND JINGLE
0:28:03 > 0:28:06It's the end of our show.
0:28:08 > 0:28:09Noel, you won with nine!
0:28:09 > 0:28:11You lost with eight!
0:28:14 > 0:28:18So close!
0:28:21 > 0:28:23So close.
0:28:24 > 0:28:28You guys, in this game, truly everybody wins.
0:28:28 > 0:28:32Thanks to Phill, Nick and Theo, Noel, Kimberley and Vic.
0:28:32 > 0:28:37This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks, what the fuck did I just do?
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Good night! Woo!
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:51 > 0:28:54Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk