Episode 1

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0:00:04 > 0:00:05Hang on there, buddy!

0:00:05 > 0:00:11This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:20 > 0:00:23OK! No, I don't give mouth to mouth on men.

0:00:23 > 0:00:26- Whoa! What are you doing?- You OK?

0:00:26 > 0:00:31I am here to save lives, I just got the call. I'm here to save Buzzcocks.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34- It's October. Come on. - Let's get you wrapped up.

0:00:34 > 0:00:37- Buzzcocks, I've got to save the Buzzcocks.- It's only a pop quiz.

0:01:02 > 0:01:09Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Germany's favourite musical son,

0:01:09 > 0:01:12David Hasselhoff!

0:01:29 > 0:01:31Thank you.

0:01:34 > 0:01:39Never Mind The Buzzcocks, buzz Hoff! Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Good evening.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45Welcome to the 25th series!

0:01:45 > 0:01:49Give it up for the 25th series. Come on!

0:01:51 > 0:01:56I'm David Hasselhoff, and from where I'm sitting...you are not!

0:01:57 > 0:02:01We have team captain Noel Fielding.

0:02:03 > 0:02:07She's currently in the Sugababes, but with their hiring and firing policy

0:02:07 > 0:02:12and this show not being live, let's just say she's a lady that sings.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15It's smoking-hot Sugababe Amelle Berrabah.

0:02:19 > 0:02:23And, according to our lawyers he's the only gay Louie on TV.

0:02:23 > 0:02:30It's TV dancer and former Sugababe, my good friend Louie Spence.

0:02:33 > 0:02:37And across the way with captain Phill Jupitus...

0:02:39 > 0:02:44He was discovered by Richard Blackwood when he played him in a music video.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48Let's hope that's where the similarity ends.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51It's singer and former Sugababe, Luke Essien.

0:02:53 > 0:02:58And he's a character comedian with a whole host of hilarious alter-egos.

0:02:58 > 0:03:02With any luck he's here tonight as a hilarious version of himself.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06It's comedian and former Sugababe, Peter Serafinowicz.

0:03:12 > 0:03:18Wow. Seems like I'm the only one here who hasn't been on the Sugababes.

0:03:18 > 0:03:23When this show started back in 1996, I was in a little show called Baywatch.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25CHEERING

0:03:25 > 0:03:27Woah.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29I'm huge!

0:03:30 > 0:03:32I looked pretty good back then.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36But the question is - how did our team captains look?

0:03:37 > 0:03:40Oh, my God!

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Phill! Phill!

0:03:44 > 0:03:48Is that you? Is that really you?

0:03:48 > 0:03:51I thought it was manatee week on the Discovery Channel.

0:03:51 > 0:03:56- Noel, is that really you?- Yeah. - My God, it looks like someone I dated in high school.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00I remember those years.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02I don't!

0:04:02 > 0:04:08OK. We start with a new round called What's the Story Morning Glory?

0:04:08 > 0:04:15Each team gets three props and has to piece together the pop story in the question.

0:04:15 > 0:04:20Noel, don't call me No-el, Amelle and Louie, look at this...

0:04:20 > 0:04:24# Mull of Kintyre... #

0:04:24 > 0:04:28Sure, he's the most successful musician and composer in popular music history,

0:04:28 > 0:04:32but did his singing voice reunite East and West Germany?

0:04:32 > 0:04:36I think not! It's Sir Paul McCartney.

0:04:43 > 0:04:47That was Paul McCartney with Wings and Mull Of Kintyre.

0:04:47 > 0:04:53But I want to know, what's the story that links your props to Sir Paul?

0:04:53 > 0:05:00We have piles of cash, waxwork head and, Louie, the third prop is a special treat for you.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03It's a tramp!

0:05:04 > 0:05:09I swear it's "homeless". Are we going back to the '70s? Is it "tramp" again?

0:05:09 > 0:05:14I think we'd probably make a better team if you put this on.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Your long-lost brother!

0:05:16 > 0:05:19CHEERING, WOLF-WHISTLING

0:05:19 > 0:05:21Oh, my God!

0:05:23 > 0:05:28- That's right, we're fierce. - I am SO Camden.

0:05:28 > 0:05:33£5,000? Did he pay all the people on Mull of Kintyre for making them hear such a shit song?

0:05:33 > 0:05:37- This is actually made of wax. - Yeah, it's real wax.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40- It's melting a bit, as well. - I think it might be Babybel wax.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42LAUGHTER

0:05:42 > 0:05:46He paid a tramp to... Don't say "give him head". That's wrong.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52- Has he had a waxwork made out of him?- I don't know.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55And then got paid loads of money, drunk a bottle of vodka to celebrate.

0:05:55 > 0:05:59I think he must have given a tramp all of that cash, as a gesture...

0:05:59 > 0:06:06- Close.- ..because, er...- Close.- ..the tramp was eating...- Eating wax!- Ooh.

0:06:06 > 0:06:11He crept into Madame Tussauds, he's sleeping in Madame Tussauds underneath his waxwork doll

0:06:11 > 0:06:13and keeping it clean - polishing it with his...

0:06:13 > 0:06:18- Tongue.- ..fingerless gloves, and Macca saw that...- No, close.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21..ran in and thrashed him with a skipping rope.

0:06:21 > 0:06:27- No. It's close, though. Was he awake, or was he...- He was asleep. - Asleep.

0:06:27 > 0:06:32- On his...- On his...!- ..head. - On his head!- Yes!- Right, OK! - And how did he get the money?

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Because he....

0:06:35 > 0:06:39- He gave the wax head to the tramp, the tramp sold it and got five grand!- YES!- Shit!- YES!

0:06:39 > 0:06:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:06:44 > 0:06:45You're right.

0:06:45 > 0:06:49In 2008, a tramp in Reading claimed a £2,000 reward

0:06:49 > 0:06:53after he realised that his makeshift pillow

0:06:53 > 0:06:59was actually the missing waxwork head of Sir Paul McCartney.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02- There's the tramp with the head. - He don't look like a tramp!

0:07:02 > 0:07:07That's the actual tramp with the head of Paul McCartney before he sold it for £2,000.

0:07:07 > 0:07:13- Why are they only faced backwards when everyone else is turned the other way?- I've done that.

0:07:13 > 0:07:17I don't even know if that's sexual or not!

0:07:17 > 0:07:22- Are you like Predator? He sees in colour - you only see in terms of cock?- Yep.

0:07:24 > 0:07:28Earlier this year, a model of the Beatles' yellow submarine disappeared

0:07:28 > 0:07:32from outside the Liverpool church where Paul used to be a choirboy.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Hang on a minute, let's see that picture again.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Please tell me the next picture is him holding a fake leg!- No!

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Oh, come on!

0:07:47 > 0:07:50How'd I get on this show?

0:07:50 > 0:07:53Hoff, Hoff? Is the car calling you? What's going on?

0:07:53 > 0:07:57- My spider senses are tingling!- KITT, get me the hell out of this show!

0:07:57 > 0:08:00APPLAUSE

0:08:00 > 0:08:05- All right.- Hoff! Hang on! That car is now your agent!

0:08:05 > 0:08:08- "I've got a great gig for you, Michael."- OK.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12"Michael, don't you remember you had me crushed?"

0:08:13 > 0:08:16"I saw you looking at other cars, Michael."

0:08:16 > 0:08:18"Touch my gear stick, Michael."

0:08:20 > 0:08:23"This isn't really a car. I'm just a guy who sits in the back."

0:08:25 > 0:08:29Whatever you do, don't press the button "Auto Suck".

0:08:30 > 0:08:37Phill's team, take a look at this. Sure, he's sold millions of records

0:08:37 > 0:08:39and was once voted the greatest front man of all time,

0:08:39 > 0:08:44but did his singing voice reunite East and West Germany?

0:08:44 > 0:08:47I think not!

0:08:47 > 0:08:49It's Liam Gallagher.

0:08:49 > 0:08:53That was Liam Gallagher with Beady Eye.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56Now, using your props, I want you to piece together the one story

0:08:56 > 0:08:59that links all three items to Liam.

0:08:59 > 0:09:03Fire extinguisher, soup and roll and a picture of "Gaza".

0:09:03 > 0:09:11- Gaza?- Gaza.- Fire extinguishers, they could do with out there!

0:09:11 > 0:09:15It looks like the last day of school and you've all brought games in.

0:09:15 > 0:09:20- What is the link to Liam Gallagher? - Aye, aye, aye, aye, easy there, Swimming Trunks.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22We're working on something.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25OK, so, Gazza. Are they friends? Are Gazza and Liam friends?

0:09:25 > 0:09:28Are they on Facebook?

0:09:28 > 0:09:32I'd like to invite Liam to join the group "I love the Beatles"

0:09:32 > 0:09:36because I think he'd really enjoy them.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38They're a little bit old, but just check 'em out,

0:09:38 > 0:09:41I think you'll dig 'em.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44Maybe he was sick, cos most people eat soup while they're sick.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48You're a young pop star there. So you say, "Maybe he was sick."

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Do you mean, "Maybe he was SICK"?!

0:09:50 > 0:09:51LAUGHTER

0:09:51 > 0:09:54I mean more ill, like in terms of...

0:09:54 > 0:09:56- Like illin'?- Condition. No, no...

0:09:56 > 0:09:58LAUGHTER

0:09:58 > 0:10:00He's bad!

0:10:00 > 0:10:02- LAUGHTER - He's wicked!

0:10:02 > 0:10:06I think, actually, what it is, there's an Oasis joke.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09"How does Liam Gallagher like his soup?"

0:10:09 > 0:10:12# You get a roll with it... # Is that what it is?

0:10:12 > 0:10:15You're extremely close.

0:10:15 > 0:10:19And I reckon that Gazza thought this was a really hilarious joke

0:10:19 > 0:10:22and said it to him in a restaurant and then,

0:10:22 > 0:10:27Liam got a fire extinguisher and fucking blasted it into him.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29He got it!

0:10:29 > 0:10:32CHEERING

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Yes!

0:10:34 > 0:10:36How did you really freaking get that?!

0:10:36 > 0:10:40In 2006, Liam Gallagher sprayed -

0:10:40 > 0:10:43- how do you say his name? - Gay-za? Gazza?- Gazza.

0:10:43 > 0:10:48Liam Gallagher sprayed Gazza in the face with a fire extinguisher

0:10:48 > 0:10:53after he repeatedly interrupted his soup eating with the question...

0:10:53 > 0:10:55# Do you want a roll with it? #

0:10:55 > 0:11:00I'm only ever referring to him as Gay-za from now on.

0:11:00 > 0:11:01LAUGHTER

0:11:01 > 0:11:05I'm going to knock on his door. "Excuse me, is Gay-za home?"

0:11:05 > 0:11:06LAUGHTER

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Louis, how do you say Gay-za - Gay-za, Gaza or Gazza?

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Listen, with this impediment... LAUGHTER

0:11:12 > 0:11:14- You're asking the wrong person. - Gazza!- Gay-za!

0:11:14 > 0:11:16I'd love to make jokes about Gazza,

0:11:16 > 0:11:20but I'm afraid my knowledge of his past is pretty sketchy.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22- But then again, so is his. - LAUGHTER

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Come on, we've all been there!

0:11:24 > 0:11:28- APPLAUSE - Including me!

0:11:28 > 0:11:31At the end of that round, Noel's team have one

0:11:31 > 0:11:33and Phil's team have...one.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36CHEERING

0:11:41 > 0:11:43Next up, it's the intro round.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46Phil and Peter, here are yours for Loick.

0:11:47 > 0:11:52- Thank you. You ready, you set?- Yeah. - You think you've heard music, boy.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55- You strap in! - LAUGHTER

0:11:55 > 0:11:59# Dum! Dum, dum, dum, dum! Dum, dum, dum, dum!

0:11:59 > 0:12:02# Dum, dum, dum, dum! Dum, dum, dum! Dum, dum, dum!

0:12:02 > 0:12:06- # Bom!- Dum, dum, dum, dum!- Bom! - Dum, dum, dum, dum!- Bom!

0:12:06 > 0:12:08# Dum, dum, dum! Dum, dum, dum, dum!

0:12:08 > 0:12:10- # Bom!- Bum, bum, bum.- Bom!

0:12:10 > 0:12:11- # Bum, bum, bum! Bom!- Bom!- #

0:12:11 > 0:12:14- OK...- # Bum, bum, bum! Bum, bum, bum! Bum, bum, BUM! #

0:12:14 > 0:12:18- # Bum, bum, bum, bum!- Bom! - Bum, bum, bum, bum!- Bom!

0:12:18 > 0:12:22# Bum, bum, bum! BUM, BUM, BUM. #

0:12:19 > 0:12:22DAVID JOINS IN

0:12:22 > 0:12:24# Blang-lang-lang! #

0:12:24 > 0:12:26APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Frank Sinatra?

0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Old maggoty eyes. - AMELLE: Maggoty eyes?

0:12:36 > 0:12:38LAUGHTER

0:12:40 > 0:12:41That is sick!

0:12:41 > 0:12:44Do you have an answer?

0:12:44 > 0:12:47- No, I don't. I really don't! LOUIS:- I know the artist.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Shall I hand it to the other team? All right.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52- The answer's Michael Buble.- Yes. - It's not Cry Me A River?

0:12:52 > 0:12:55- Yes, it is.- It's Cry Me A River by Michael Buble.

0:12:55 > 0:12:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE LOICK: Oh, snap(!)

0:12:59 > 0:13:01OK, here's how it should've gone, guys.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04SONG STARTS I kissed him in Australia, that's why I know.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06I like your version better.

0:13:06 > 0:13:11MUSIC: "Cry Me A River" by Michael Buble

0:13:11 > 0:13:12CHEERING

0:13:25 > 0:13:31- # Now you say you're lonely... # - AMELLE: Wow!

0:13:31 > 0:13:33CHEERING

0:13:36 > 0:13:39Honestly, can someone tie me down?

0:13:39 > 0:13:43I didn't know you were going to pump the fixtures!

0:13:43 > 0:13:45The next one, please, the next one.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47# Doof, tish, doof, doof, tish!

0:13:47 > 0:13:49# Doof, tish, doof, doof, tish!

0:13:49 > 0:13:53- PETER CONTINUES - # Bom, bom, bom! Bom, bom! Bom, bom, bom!

0:13:53 > 0:13:57# Bom! Bom, bom! Bom, bom! Bom, boa-bow!

0:13:57 > 0:14:01# N'ow! N'ow! N'ow, n'ow!

0:14:01 > 0:14:05# N'ow! N'ow! N'ow, n'ow!

0:14:05 > 0:14:09# Bom! Down! Bom! Down! Bom! Bown! Bow-bow!

0:14:09 > 0:14:12# Bom, jow! Bom, jow! Bom, jow! Jow, jow! #

0:14:12 > 0:14:15I feel like I'm taking my GCSEs all over again!

0:14:15 > 0:14:17- LAUGHTER - What school did you go to?

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Oh, man. HE LAUGHS

0:14:20 > 0:14:23- Oh...- Ooh!- Rumba!

0:14:23 > 0:14:26- I'm struggling.- Louis thought it was Coronation Street!

0:14:26 > 0:14:29LAUGHTER

0:14:29 > 0:14:33I thought it sounded a bit like # Summer lovin', had me a blast! #

0:14:33 > 0:14:37Like the start, and then, it goes into something different.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41- Yes, it did sound like that and not like Coronation Street! - LAUGHTER

0:14:41 > 0:14:45- It's a known song, I can't think... - Yeah, that's the whole point(!)

0:14:45 > 0:14:48LAUGHTER

0:14:48 > 0:14:50I can't believe you...

0:14:50 > 0:14:54I'll give you the first word and whoever names the song the fastest

0:14:54 > 0:14:57- gets the points, OK? - Right, go!- Steady...

0:14:57 > 0:15:00- As she goes!- Yes!- Oh, ya! - Steady, As She Goes!

0:15:00 > 0:15:03- APPLAUSE - Here's how it should've sounded. - My first one!

0:15:03 > 0:15:07MUSIC: "Steady, As She Goes" by The Raconteurs

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Let's have a little dance!

0:15:08 > 0:15:12- I'm up for it. - Well, obviously, YOU'RE up for it!

0:15:12 > 0:15:16So that was Steady, As She Goes by the Raconteurs!

0:15:16 > 0:15:19No-one's ever... Oh, this one's great!

0:15:19 > 0:15:20LAUGHTER

0:15:20 > 0:15:24This will definitely get me fired from Britain's Got Talent.

0:15:24 > 0:15:29No-one's ever really been sure about Jack White's relationship with Meg.

0:15:29 > 0:15:34Were they married, just lovers or brother and sister?

0:15:34 > 0:15:37It's a bit like Simon Cowell and Sinitta.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40SHOCKED GASPS

0:15:40 > 0:15:43SOME APPLAUSE

0:15:45 > 0:15:48Interestingly enough, Jack White's fame meant that,

0:15:48 > 0:15:50even when the band were new,

0:15:50 > 0:15:56they were able to sell out mid-sized venues. A rarity for a debut tour.

0:15:56 > 0:16:01Unless you tour Germany, cos they'll watch any old shit!

0:16:01 > 0:16:02LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:16:04 > 0:16:06And you're applauding?!

0:16:08 > 0:16:11We also heard Michael Buble with Cry Me A River.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Buble recently said in an interview...

0:16:15 > 0:16:19Is this true? ..that he was... It's true.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23..that he was so horny as a teenager he would've had sex...

0:16:23 > 0:16:25- AMELLE: Whoa! - ..with sandwich meat...

0:16:25 > 0:16:28- LAUGHTER - ..if it was possible.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30What do you mean, if it was possible?!

0:16:30 > 0:16:33LAUGHTER

0:16:33 > 0:16:36Get a gala pie, take the egg out.

0:16:36 > 0:16:37GROANING

0:16:37 > 0:16:41Imagine the Morrisons advert, at the deli, and just out of shot

0:16:41 > 0:16:45you just see Buble's arse bobbing up and down.

0:16:45 > 0:16:46With Alan Hanson going,

0:16:46 > 0:16:49"Well, there's Buble again getting his sausage meat."

0:16:49 > 0:16:51LAUGHTER

0:16:51 > 0:16:54- "You won't find sausage meat any cheaper than that." - LAUGHTER

0:16:54 > 0:16:56APPLAUSE

0:16:56 > 0:16:58DAVID GROANS

0:17:01 > 0:17:05Noel and Amelle, here are yours - Thank God! - for Louis.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07LAUGHTER

0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Thank you very much.- Thanks. Wow, you've got to know this one.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Oh, right, don't say that! - It's a bit late.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15LAUGHTER

0:17:15 > 0:17:17HUMMING BEGINS

0:17:17 > 0:17:18Don't you...? Don't!

0:17:18 > 0:17:22THEY HUM THE THEME TO "Coronation Street"

0:17:22 > 0:17:25APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:17:27 > 0:17:33HUMMING CONTINUES TO A VERY LOUD ENDING

0:17:33 > 0:17:36# W'ah, w'ah, w'ah, w'aaaah! #

0:17:36 > 0:17:39LAUGHTER If you'd done that, you would've got some points.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41LAUGHTER

0:17:41 > 0:17:43# Ah, ah... # Oh, hang on, shit! Sorry!

0:17:43 > 0:17:46You're not doing a vocal warm up, just do the tune!

0:17:46 > 0:17:48LAUGHTER

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Oh, I'm going to go bang one out.

0:17:50 > 0:17:51LAUGHTER

0:17:51 > 0:17:55Louis, you can't have a danger wank while we're warming up.

0:17:55 > 0:17:56LAUGHTER

0:17:56 > 0:18:01# Ah, ah, ah! Ah, ah! Ah, ah! Ah, ah!

0:18:01 > 0:18:05# Ah, ah, ah! Ah, ah! Ah, ah! Ah, ah!

0:18:05 > 0:18:10- SHE CONTINUES - # Woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa Woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa

0:18:10 > 0:18:14# Woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa Woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa

0:18:14 > 0:18:19# Woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa Woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa, woo-pa

0:18:19 > 0:18:23# Ah, ah, ah! Ah, ah! Ah, ah! Ah, ah!

0:18:23 > 0:18:25# Ah, ah, ah! Ah, ah... #

0:18:25 > 0:18:28- No, nothing?- No? All right. - Damn you!

0:18:28 > 0:18:32- Imagine if we've got pork chops glued to our head.- On us!

0:18:32 > 0:18:35- Lady Gaga...- Yes!- ..and it is...

0:18:35 > 0:18:38- Wait a minute! - Back up! I was born this way?

0:18:38 > 0:18:40- No, no. - No, not Born This Way.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Alejandro?- Yes!

0:18:42 > 0:18:44- Alejandro! - LOUIS: No! Whoa! Back up!

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Here's how it should've sounded.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49MUSIC: "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54It sounded nothing like it.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57- Don't you like it? - MUSIC FADES

0:18:57 > 0:19:00It's the bloke from The Inbetweeners. OK, let's go.

0:19:00 > 0:19:01LAUGHTER

0:19:01 > 0:19:05- I look like Mel and Sue. - Sue Perkins?- Yeah.

0:19:05 > 0:19:08- Right, OK, go.- She cannot be... cannot be happy with that!

0:19:08 > 0:19:10LAUGHTER

0:19:10 > 0:19:15BOTH HIGH-PITCHED: # Da-rid-da-da! Da-da! Ah-ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha!

0:19:15 > 0:19:17# Da-rid-da-da! Da-da! #

0:19:17 > 0:19:19And he's knocking through people!

0:19:19 > 0:19:21# Doo doo, doo doo... #

0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Come on, Nana Mouskouri! - # Oh-ahh, ah, oh-ahh. #

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Any idea?

0:19:26 > 0:19:27- Wagner!- No!

0:19:27 > 0:19:34# Cos it's a bittersweet symphony this liiii-iife... #

0:19:34 > 0:19:36- They're right!- And the artist!

0:19:36 > 0:19:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:19:38 > 0:19:39Bittersweet Symphony.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42Here's how it should've sounded.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44MUSIC: "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Lovely.

0:19:46 > 0:19:47Bang on.

0:19:47 > 0:19:48All right.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51The Verve. I've got it now.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53# Oh-ahh, ah, ah... #

0:19:55 > 0:19:57- Is it a Coca-Cola advert as well? - That one was quick.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59- I think so.- "Where'd you get that?"

0:19:59 > 0:20:02So that was Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05In their heyday, The Verve lived together in a house in Wigan.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Now, I don't really know about Wigan

0:20:07 > 0:20:10and we were going to take Britain's Got Talent there but we decided...

0:20:10 > 0:20:14that a man who juggles three families doesn't constitute talent.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:20:20 > 0:20:22We also heard the Lady Gaga with Alejandro.

0:20:22 > 0:20:23Interestingly enough,

0:20:23 > 0:20:29Lady Gaga affectionately refers to her fans as "Little Monsters".

0:20:29 > 0:20:32Similarly, I refer to my fans as...

0:20:32 > 0:20:35"Mein Biete Ubermenschen"!

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Round three is the identity parade.

0:20:38 > 0:20:44Phill, Loick and Peter, how about some turn-of-the-century UK garage?

0:20:44 > 0:20:47For the audience only, here is Lonyo.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50# Sending out an SOS

0:20:52 > 0:20:55# It's the summer of love

0:20:55 > 0:20:59# Sexy girl, it's time to get dressed

0:20:59 > 0:21:03# Cos it's the summer of love... #

0:21:03 > 0:21:06That was Lonyo with Summer Of Love.

0:21:06 > 0:21:11But which of our line-up is Lonyo Engele?

0:21:11 > 0:21:12Is it number 1...

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Summer Of Love?

0:21:14 > 0:21:15Is it number 2...

0:21:15 > 0:21:16Summer Loving?

0:21:16 > 0:21:19Is it number 3...

0:21:19 > 0:21:21Some Are Better Than Others?

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Is it number 4...

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Summer's Been A Bit Shit This Year?

0:21:26 > 0:21:28Or number 5...

0:21:28 > 0:21:30Some Of My Best Friends Are Gay?

0:21:31 > 0:21:34Phill's team, guess!

0:21:34 > 0:21:37I would say, judging just purely by...

0:21:37 > 0:21:42the facial expression when he walked out, it's number 2.

0:21:42 > 0:21:46He just seemed to have, like, a kind of "I'm comfortable with fame"

0:21:46 > 0:21:48kind of look, you know?

0:21:48 > 0:21:51- Oh, he's got the look on right now! - He has, yeah.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55Phill's team, is that your final answer?

0:21:55 > 0:21:58We're going on star quality.

0:21:58 > 0:22:03Let's find out. Would the real Lonyo please, please, step forward?

0:22:06 > 0:22:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:14 > 0:22:17Now an actor, DJ,

0:22:17 > 0:22:22and about to make his debut in a World Cup qualifier for Tonga,

0:22:22 > 0:22:25ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Lonyo.

0:22:25 > 0:22:26CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Congratulation, man! Thank you!

0:22:30 > 0:22:33Oh, I wish I could go with them.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35LAUGHTER

0:22:35 > 0:22:39- Next series, maybe.- Oh.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41- I don't think they'd accept you.- No?

0:22:41 > 0:22:44- Why not? - You haven't got the right suit on.

0:22:44 > 0:22:50Noel, Amelle and Louie, what about some late-'70s, Britpop?

0:22:50 > 0:22:53For the audience only, here is Goldie.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56# We're making up again

0:22:56 > 0:23:01# And we're breaking up again

0:23:01 > 0:23:06# Telling all your friends we're back as one

0:23:08 > 0:23:12# Taking off again

0:23:12 > 0:23:17# Never going to end... #

0:23:17 > 0:23:21That was Goldie with Making Up Again but which...

0:23:21 > 0:23:25which of our line-up is bassist Geoff Robson?

0:23:25 > 0:23:29It is number 1, Making Up Again?

0:23:29 > 0:23:30Is it number 2...

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Making His Day?

0:23:32 > 0:23:35Is it number 3...

0:23:35 > 0:23:36Making Me Horny?

0:23:38 > 0:23:39Number 4...

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Making Me Quite Scared?

0:23:41 > 0:23:43Or number 5...

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Making Sure His Agent Invoices For Two Rounds?

0:23:48 > 0:23:50Noel's team...

0:23:50 > 0:23:51GUESS!

0:23:51 > 0:23:54- What was the song? Who was that? - It was Goldie.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57I thought he had, like, all gold teeth and was in a Bond film!

0:23:57 > 0:23:59- LAUGHTER - God, he changed!

0:23:59 > 0:24:01It's not that one and it's not the dog from Blue Peter,

0:24:01 > 0:24:04it's a different band.

0:24:04 > 0:24:05I reckon number 3 or 2.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Number 2's got a bit of a shine on his head,

0:24:08 > 0:24:11like he could've been Botoxed, still trying to hold on to it.

0:24:11 > 0:24:14Number 3's got a bit of sparkle.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16And number 2. It's either 2 or 3.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19I think number 2, cos I think that nervous hand on the hip

0:24:19 > 0:24:22and those pleather pants of number 3...

0:24:22 > 0:24:23are a bit of a... Y'know.

0:24:23 > 0:24:24A bit of a what?

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Just a bit of a worry.

0:24:26 > 0:24:27LAUGHTER

0:24:27 > 0:24:29What's your final answer?!

0:24:29 > 0:24:30I think it's number 3.

0:24:30 > 0:24:36Let's find out. Would the real Geoff Robson please step forward?

0:24:36 > 0:24:40- Ooh!- Whoa! You're right!

0:24:40 > 0:24:43Wow! How'd he get that? I thought it was number 2.

0:24:43 > 0:24:47Now working as a songwriter and session musician,

0:24:47 > 0:24:50ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Geoff Robson.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Thank you!

0:24:55 > 0:24:58We're going to end... I know, you're sad...

0:24:58 > 0:25:01with a round that's all about me.

0:25:01 > 0:25:03And my hits.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Shut up.- Hits?

0:25:07 > 0:25:10- PHILL LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY - It's all tied going in...

0:25:14 > 0:25:16He went, "All about me and my hits."

0:25:16 > 0:25:19Woman in the front row goes, "Won't last long, then."

0:25:19 > 0:25:21LAUGHTER

0:25:24 > 0:25:29It's all tied going into the final round. Your time starts now.

0:25:29 > 0:25:30True or false.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33I will be competing for the Netherlands

0:25:33 > 0:25:36in the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest.

0:25:36 > 0:25:37True or false?

0:25:37 > 0:25:39True.

0:25:41 > 0:25:42- True.- False!

0:25:47 > 0:25:49False! I'm not going to do that. What's the next line?

0:25:49 > 0:25:52- Jump in my car... - Is it, jump in my car,

0:25:52 > 0:25:55it fucking talks!

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Jump in my car...

0:25:59 > 0:26:01- I wanna take you home.- You're right.

0:26:01 > 0:26:05Who can I blame for ruining the launch of my US music career?

0:26:05 > 0:26:07Yourself.

0:26:13 > 0:26:14Simpson.

0:26:14 > 0:26:19Absolutely, OJ Simpson was going down the freeway in his Bronco.

0:26:19 > 0:26:2293 million people watched OJ Simpson

0:26:22 > 0:26:26when I had the David Hasselhoff pay-per-view on television.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29I paid, no-one viewed.

0:26:29 > 0:26:33I have a confession. I cheated, cos I saw the card.

0:26:34 > 0:26:39According to the 2012 Guinness Book Of World Records,

0:26:39 > 0:26:42what record do I hold and still hold?

0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Most watched man on TV. You should cover up your cards.- Yes!

0:26:45 > 0:26:48APPLAUSE

0:26:48 > 0:26:50END-OF-ROUND JINGLE PLAYS

0:26:50 > 0:26:52All right.

0:26:54 > 0:26:59So, that brings us to the final scores.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02In second place, is...

0:27:04 > 0:27:07- ..Noel...- Oh, as if!

0:27:07 > 0:27:12..with five. But this week's winners are Phill, with six!

0:27:12 > 0:27:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:20 > 0:27:23Thanks to Phill, Loick, Peter, Noel,

0:27:23 > 0:27:25Amelle and Louis.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27Good night! Good night!

0:27:31 > 0:27:35- Man, that's it. Are you still living on the A13?- Yeah, I am. Yeah.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38- Want a ride home? Want me to give you a lift?- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40SONG INTRO STARTS

0:27:40 > 0:27:42AUDIENCE CLAP ALONG

0:27:44 > 0:27:46WHOOPING

0:27:46 > 0:27:47# Jump in my car

0:27:49 > 0:27:51# I wanna take you home

0:27:53 > 0:27:56# Come on and jump in my car

0:27:57 > 0:28:00# It's too far to walk on your own

0:28:02 > 0:28:03# No thank you, sir

0:28:03 > 0:28:06# Oh, come on, I'm a trustworthy guy

0:28:06 > 0:28:09- # No thank you, sir - Oh, little Phill

0:28:09 > 0:28:11- # I wouldn't tell you no lies - I know your game

0:28:11 > 0:28:14# How can you say that? We've only just met

0:28:14 > 0:28:15# You're all the same

0:28:15 > 0:28:18# Oh! He's got me there But I'll get him yet

0:28:18 > 0:28:19# I got you then

0:28:19 > 0:28:22# No, you didn't, I was catching my breath

0:28:22 > 0:28:26# Look, it's starting to rain And baby, you'll catch your death

0:28:26 > 0:28:27# Well, I don't know

0:28:27 > 0:28:30# Oh, come on, it costs nothing to try

0:28:30 > 0:28:33# And you'll arrive home nice and dry... #

0:28:33 > 0:28:35- All right, then! - # ..Jump in my car

0:28:37 > 0:28:41- # I wanna take you home... # - You can take me, baby baby!

0:28:41 > 0:28:42# Come on and jump in my car... #

0:28:42 > 0:28:45Come on, The Hoff, where we going?

0:28:45 > 0:28:47# It's too far to walk on your own. #

0:28:47 > 0:28:51- Can we stop for some drive-thru? - Oh, yeah!

0:28:51 > 0:28:53Unbelievable. What about me? Don't I get a lift home?

0:28:53 > 0:28:56Ridiculous, man.

0:28:56 > 0:28:58I'm going to put a parking ticket on KITT.

0:28:58 > 0:29:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd