Episode 11

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03Nonsense!

0:00:03 > 0:00:07Rhod, last time, they inserted a buy-one-get-one-free clause.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09You're going to have to do it.

0:00:13 > 0:00:18Fine, we'll do it again, but Rhod wants to host the show commando.

0:00:20 > 0:00:22Ready for you, Mr Gilbert.

0:00:27 > 0:00:29ZIP

0:00:51 > 0:00:54CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:00:59 > 0:01:01CHEERS AND WHISTLES

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Hello, and welcome to the show.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06On Noel's team tonight...

0:01:06 > 0:01:08She's a 30-something TV presenter

0:01:08 > 0:01:12who's meant to be dating teenage heart-throb Harry Styles

0:01:12 > 0:01:14as they share a love of food.

0:01:14 > 0:01:20She taught him to eat an oyster. He gave her a mouthful of his McFlurry. It's Caroline Flack.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24He's the youngest artist ever to get a UK Number One

0:01:24 > 0:01:28with Long Haired Lover From Liverpool.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32It was originally, "I'll be your long-haired lover from Liverpool,

0:01:32 > 0:01:35"At the moment, I'm just some jizz."

0:01:35 > 0:01:39- It's Jimmy Jizzy Osmond! - APPLAUSE

0:01:39 > 0:01:41And on Phill's team tonight...

0:01:43 > 0:01:47He's in The Wanted, a band whose debut single was All Time Low.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49That's the name of the single,

0:01:49 > 0:01:54not a comment on that period of musical history. It's Tom, from The Wanted.

0:01:55 > 0:02:00A lot of people mistake him for Jack Black, including our guest booker.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02I'm not upset, just disappointed.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06- It's Charlie Baker. - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:02:07 > 0:02:10So we begin with Wannabe Starting Something.

0:02:10 > 0:02:14Noel, Caroline and Jimmy, take a look at this.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18She's a pop star who's now so far past her sell-by date,

0:02:18 > 0:02:21that before she puts on her make-up,

0:02:21 > 0:02:24she has to cut the rind off her face first.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26It's Madonna.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29MUSIC: Die Another Day by Madonna

0:02:33 > 0:02:38Madonna with Die Another Day. How did she anger the RSPCA?

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Did she dye her sheep for a photo shoot?

0:02:41 > 0:02:44Recreate her music videos using puppies?

0:02:44 > 0:02:48Or advocate deliberate bee stings to achieve fuller lips?

0:02:48 > 0:02:52- What is your dog wearing?- Pyramids.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55- It's shaking. It's so sweet. - AUDIENCE: Ah!

0:02:55 > 0:02:59- Oh, shut up!- Madonna wouldn't do anything by halves.

0:02:59 > 0:03:05If she was dying sheep, she'd be making 34 appointments at Vidal Sassoon.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09- You know when you get your hair dyed?- I don't, Noel. Tell me.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13I just go in and go, "Badger, please."

0:03:13 > 0:03:18- I just hold up a picture of a raven. - LAUGHTER

0:03:18 > 0:03:21- Have you ever had your hair dyed? - I have dip-dye.

0:03:21 > 0:03:26- I just dip the ends. - They hold you by your feet?

0:03:26 > 0:03:33Talking of animals, Jimmy, didn't you look after Michael Jackson's monkey?

0:03:33 > 0:03:37I worked for Michael for a couple of years and did his tour.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39His monkey, remember Bubbles?

0:03:39 > 0:03:44- We had to get special water brought in for the tour.- Sparkling?- Yeah.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48- What was Bubbles like to work with? - I never really worked with Bubbles.

0:03:48 > 0:03:53I just helped to get special water. He was very kind to those animals.

0:03:53 > 0:03:58He had to be. They knew all the secrets!

0:03:58 > 0:04:01- You played a crab, didn't you, once? - < I did.

0:04:01 > 0:04:06- The famous part of the crab in Pinocchio. We all know that(!) - You could play Pinocchio, Noel.

0:04:06 > 0:04:11- Here we go.- You look like you've been dressed in a forest by a reclusive German wood-cutter.

0:04:11 > 0:04:15What's that? You should put that on, surely?

0:04:15 > 0:04:20- This is a beekeeper's hat.- You look hot in a beekeeper's outfit!

0:04:20 > 0:04:23If a beekeeper was getting married, would they go for that?

0:04:23 > 0:04:28You look like the first photo on the website, Keepers' Wives!

0:04:28 > 0:04:33- Did anyone see the Tales Of The Unexpected, the beekeeper one?- Yeah.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37He was feeding his son honey and his son turned into a bee.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40- LAUGHTER - Certainly unexpected.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43I like you in a veil, Caroline. Yeah.

0:04:43 > 0:04:47- Are you gonna marry Harry Styles? - LAUGHING: No!

0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Did you go out with Prince Harry? - Um...

0:04:50 > 0:04:52- That's a yes!- Did you really?

0:04:52 > 0:04:55We went out together, but we didn't "go out".

0:04:55 > 0:04:59- Have you seen the Crown Jewels? - LAUGHTER

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Does it look anything like this?

0:05:02 > 0:05:04LAUGHTER

0:05:04 > 0:05:09If you want to be discreet, smile when the right one comes out.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11LAUGHTER

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Haven't got it quite right yet.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17- Which is it?- I don't know!

0:05:17 > 0:05:21Madonna, did she dye her sheep? Did she use puppies in her videos?

0:05:21 > 0:05:24Advocate bee stings for fuller lips?

0:05:24 > 0:05:29It would be ecologically sound to use wasps. They don't die. They can sting again and again.

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Maybe this is what wasps are actually for.

0:05:33 > 0:05:38The RSPCA wouldn't get wound-up about wasps. Nobody gives a shit about wasps.

0:05:38 > 0:05:43Wasps are really annoying. They're always on apple cores in children's playgrounds.

0:05:43 > 0:05:47- That bothers you? - Well, the way they move about...

0:05:47 > 0:05:49- On your patch? - LAUGHTER

0:05:49 > 0:05:54You can't even feed on a decent apple core in a kids' playground!

0:05:54 > 0:06:00In winter, they forget how to fly and just walk about. "I'm walking now. What's it got to do with you?"

0:06:00 > 0:06:06"There's a gap in the window!" "I know. I'm going to walk up to it and walk away."

0:06:06 > 0:06:13Shoot them with an elastic band. If you hit them right, you can take a wasp's face clean off.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15I don't want the RSPCA on my back!

0:06:15 > 0:06:20- You said the RSPCA don't care about wasps.- Then I thought maybe they do.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Did she dye her sheep and upset the RSPCA?

0:06:24 > 0:06:28Did she do bee stings or did she recreate her videos with puppies in them?

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Bee stings! - Is that your final answer?- Yes!

0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Well, you're wrong.- Oh, what?

0:06:33 > 0:06:37In 2007, the RSPCA branded Madonna irresponsible

0:06:37 > 0:06:41for dying her sheep different colours for a photo shoot in Vogue.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44That's what's going to happen to it anyway.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47- You usually wait for it to come off the sheep.- Ah!

0:06:47 > 0:06:54- It's like using a cow as a belt. - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:06:56 > 0:07:02Madonna turned down a reported 1-billion deal for a Vegas residency. Probably for the best.

0:07:02 > 0:07:06I played roulette with her. The croupier shouted, "Black, six."

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Madonna went, "I'll take him!" - GROANS AND LAUGHTER

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Phill, Tom and Charlie, have a look at this.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20# Welcome to the house of fun, now I've come of age... #

0:07:20 > 0:07:24It's Britain's favourite ska act, after Seal.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26It is, of course, Madness.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29# ..temptation's on its way Welcome to the house of.. #

0:07:32 > 0:07:37That was Madness with House Of Fun, but how did Madness upset Calvin Harris recently?

0:07:37 > 0:07:41Did they tie his shoe laces together before he went on stage?

0:07:41 > 0:07:46Did they shave his eyebrows or did they lock him in a Portaloo?

0:07:46 > 0:07:52Calvin Harris sounds like one of those people who makes fake pants on the market.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54BUZZING

0:07:54 > 0:08:00- That IS a trimmer, isn't it? - It depends which end you use!

0:08:00 > 0:08:03- Tom, you've had run-ins with other performers.- We have.

0:08:03 > 0:08:09- Once, one of our band members decided to BBM Nicole Scherzinger... - What does that mean? BBM?

0:08:09 > 0:08:11- BlackBerry Messenger.- What happened?

0:08:11 > 0:08:14One of the band members got our choreographer's phone.

0:08:14 > 0:08:20He put, "I can smell your rotting faeces and your horrible perfume!"

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Didn't go down too well.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26- Tom, that wasn't the incident I was talking about.- Oh.

0:08:26 > 0:08:30- I was talking about you falling out with Blue.- Oh.

0:08:30 > 0:08:37- Oh, shit!- It's like me going, "Tell me about that incident." "I killed a man." "Not that one."

0:08:37 > 0:08:40- You know this is going on telly? - Did you fall out with Blue?

0:08:40 > 0:08:44- Lee Ryan said that we were shit. - He called YOU shit?- Yes.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47I congratulated him on his Eurovision Song Contest.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51Nice bit of irony. Well done, Tom! Then what?

0:08:51 > 0:08:54I punched the twat. LAUGHTER

0:08:59 > 0:09:04Didn't you get caught in the shower by the Foo Fighters, Caroline?

0:09:04 > 0:09:08- No! That's one of those weird made-up stories.- Never mind.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11- I want to role-play it anyway.- What?

0:09:11 > 0:09:15We've got baby oil and chocolate sauce.

0:09:15 > 0:09:19You just get smeared up in them and we'll burst in.

0:09:19 > 0:09:24- Did you get caught by the Foo Fighters?- I had a shower at a festival, back stage.

0:09:24 > 0:09:29I opened the door and the drummer, Taylor Hawkins, was standing outside.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31- Did you invite him in?- No!- Come on!

0:09:31 > 0:09:36Taylor Hawkins was there! You were like that. "Here he comes."

0:09:36 > 0:09:40- Hey! - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:09:41 > 0:09:44- Back to the question. - What question?

0:09:44 > 0:09:49- How did Madness upset Calvin Harris? - They are legendary prank players.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52I was the opening act for them on their 1999 tour.

0:09:52 > 0:09:56They sent a 54-year-old strip-a-gram on while I was on stage.

0:09:56 > 0:10:01- CHARLIE: What was he like?- His knackers were lower than his knees.

0:10:01 > 0:10:05That's what happens when you get to a certain age.

0:10:05 > 0:10:10I can't leave the house sometimes. I can't get my nuts over that lip of the doorstep.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14Have you played any pranks on anyone when you were on tour with the boys?

0:10:14 > 0:10:17Remember that time you killed Britney Spears?

0:10:17 > 0:10:24- Jimmy, you and your brothers on the road. There must have been high jinx a-plenty.- Let's have some.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27We nailed our manager's shoes to the ground.

0:10:27 > 0:10:32- With his feet in them?- No! So when he got up he couldn't get them out.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Pranks were played on us.

0:10:34 > 0:10:41Two girls mailed themselves to us on the tour in a crate. Opened the crate and it wasn't very nice.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43Must have been crazy in the Moomins.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Can you translate for me?

0:10:46 > 0:10:50- You're in the Moomins, aren't you? - Oh, the Mormons!- The Mormons!

0:10:50 > 0:10:54He's Welsh, right? LAUGHTER

0:10:54 > 0:10:58- Do you know what the Moomins are, Jimmy?- What's that?- They're like...

0:10:58 > 0:11:01albino hippos!

0:11:01 > 0:11:06We've got a picture of you in the Moomins.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Now I know what a Moomin is.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Are we any closer to getting an answer?

0:11:11 > 0:11:14I'm fairly sure that Madness locked him in a Portaloo.

0:11:14 > 0:11:18- Then he threw a hissy fit at them. - You're absolutely right.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21APPLAUSE

0:11:21 > 0:11:25At last year's Bestival, Madness locked Calvin Harris in a Portaloo.

0:11:25 > 0:11:29He had to be released by security, and almost missed his set.

0:11:29 > 0:11:35Next, it's the Intros Round. Noel and Jimmy, here are yours for Caroline.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37- JIMMY HUMS - Yeah.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40BOTH: # Now-now

0:11:40 > 0:11:41# Now-now

0:11:42 > 0:11:45# Now-now... # Think way back.

0:11:45 > 0:11:46# Now-now. #

0:11:46 > 0:11:52It's a weird sight, you two together. Like the Krankies on magic mushrooms.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54- Do you know it? - Maybe.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58Due to the age of consent, you and Harry could not do this.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00CHARLIE: Buy alcohol?

0:12:00 > 0:12:02We can throw it over to Phill's team.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06I thought I knew it but I don't think I do any more.

0:12:06 > 0:12:10- Californication. - It is Californication!- Yes!

0:12:10 > 0:12:12- Do I get a point for that?- Yes.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Why is that illegal?

0:12:14 > 0:12:20- The age of consent! You've got to be 18 in California these days.- Wow. - Probably in the old days and all.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23Here's how it should have sounded... In your defence,

0:12:23 > 0:12:26that was absolutely appalling.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30- The percussion was all right from Jimmy, but Noel...- Oh, here we go!

0:12:30 > 0:12:34INTRO TO CALIFORNICATION FADES

0:12:34 > 0:12:37- Do your bit again, Noel. - # Now-now. #

0:12:37 > 0:12:40Did you completely forget the track before you stood up?

0:12:40 > 0:12:42Do you know what's happening now?

0:12:42 > 0:12:46You know when someone is mean to someone because they fancy them?

0:12:46 > 0:12:51LAUGHTER I'm gonna get out of the middle of you two, OK?

0:12:51 > 0:12:55That was the Red Hot Chili Peppers with Californication.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Anthony Kiedis says that he's addicted to internet porn.

0:12:58 > 0:13:02Here's some advice, Anthony. If you really want to, you can beat it.

0:13:02 > 0:13:06Sometimes it'll feel like the hardest thing in the world.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Say it with me, Anthony. I can beat this.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11I can beat this. I can.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14Say it with me. I can beat it.

0:13:14 > 0:13:19I can beat this internet porn addiction, Anthony. I can beat it.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Say it with me, Anthony.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23LAUGHTER

0:13:23 > 0:13:25APPLAUSE

0:13:28 > 0:13:33It's time for your next one, but I cannot pass by this opportunity.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36This might give you a clue for the band,

0:13:36 > 0:13:38but I'm going to do it anyway.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41Jimmy, you can be Jimmy in this one.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Noel, pop your hat on and your teeth in.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Caroline, there's a hat and some teeth.

0:13:46 > 0:13:50And you over here have each got a hat and some teeth.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53- "A hat", you say? - What am I talking about? It's hair.

0:13:53 > 0:13:58- JIMMY: I've already got 'em! - Have you got the band, yet?

0:13:58 > 0:14:00- CAROLINE: The Osmonds.- It is.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02# Dum dum dum dum

0:14:02 > 0:14:04BOTH: # Waaa waaa waaaa!

0:14:04 > 0:14:11# Waaa waaa waaaa!

0:14:11 > 0:14:14# Da-da-da-da-da-da

0:14:14 > 0:14:16# Da-dum dum da-dum dum... #

0:14:16 > 0:14:20I think you should all stand up for this.

0:14:20 > 0:14:24ALL: # Da-dum da da da-dum

0:14:24 > 0:14:30JIMMY AND NOEL: # Waaa waaa waaa...! #

0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Not a bad Halloween song! - A clue. Think "stable".

0:14:34 > 0:14:36I have no idea!

0:14:36 > 0:14:42Think of a stable where the residents have smeared their own shit on the walls.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Who lives in a stable? - A horse.- Yes, a horse.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48What kind of horse would rub his own shit down his walls?

0:14:48 > 0:14:50A crazy horse... I don't know.

0:14:50 > 0:14:54Oh. Crazy Horse. Crazy Horse. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:14:56 > 0:15:00That song was banned in South Africa cos they thought it was a drug song.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03From the Osmonds. Imagine that.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06- What WAS it about?- It was one of the first ecology records.

0:15:06 > 0:15:11- About horsepower, pollution in the air. - It was about horses!- It was not!

0:15:11 > 0:15:14- Pollution? - We wrote it! We should know!

0:15:14 > 0:15:17- To be fair, that was a good tune. - Yeah. I think it's cool.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20Over the years, we had to sing all these cheesy songs

0:15:20 > 0:15:23cos that's what the record label asked us to do.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27The songs my brothers wrote were the driving songs like that.

0:15:27 > 0:15:31It's cool to hear other rock n roll people stand up and say,

0:15:31 > 0:15:37- "Hey, that's the Osmonds. I can't believe it, but it's a pretty cool riff."- Good record.- Yeah.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Let's hear how it should have sounded.

0:15:43 > 0:15:47MUSIC: Intro to "Crazy Horses"

0:15:55 > 0:15:58# There's a message floatin'... # CHARLIE: Who did the vocal?

0:15:58 > 0:16:01JIMMY: My brother Jay. CHARLIE: It sounds very Devonshire.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04# There is a message and we're goin' to fade... #

0:16:04 > 0:16:08Charlie, weren't you described as Devon's answer to Frank Sinatra?

0:16:08 > 0:16:11Yes. In the Guardian. So can't be true.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15- What's that about?- I do sing. - He's got a great voice.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18- Can you give us a...?- What song would you like?- Witchcraft.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21# Those fingers in my hair

0:16:21 > 0:16:25- # That's like some heavy stare... # - Lady Is A Tramp.

0:16:25 > 0:16:29# She gets too hungry for dinner at eight... #

0:16:29 > 0:16:32- He's not Devon enough. - LAUGHTER

0:16:33 > 0:16:37# You say potato and I say PASTIE! #

0:16:37 > 0:16:40LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:16:42 > 0:16:47Phil and Tom, here are yours to do to Charlie.

0:16:47 > 0:16:48One, two, three, four.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52- # Haaaaaaaaa - Dut-dut dut-dut-dut

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- # Dut-dut-dut dut-dut-dut.. # - I know it.

0:16:55 > 0:17:00- That's really good.- There's a funny backwards vocal there, isn't there?

0:17:00 > 0:17:03# ..Daaaaaaa

0:17:03 > 0:17:06# Dow dow-dow-dow

0:17:06 > 0:17:09- # Da-da-da-dow da-da-da-dow... # - Awesome.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12# One vision! One heart!

0:17:12 > 0:17:16# One soul! One... # CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:17:16 > 0:17:21Charlie Baker's Freddie Mercury is now available. Do another one.

0:17:21 > 0:17:22# Di-da-day-do! #

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Nothing.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Devon Flash!

0:17:27 > 0:17:28# Flash!

0:17:28 > 0:17:31# Oo-arr! #

0:17:31 > 0:17:33APPLAUSE

0:17:34 > 0:17:36It was indeed One Vision by Queen.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39And here's what it should have sounded like.

0:17:39 > 0:17:44MUSIC: Intro to "One Vision"

0:17:47 > 0:17:51# Hey! One man! One goal... #

0:17:51 > 0:17:54Easy one, I thought, but very well done.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57It WAS easy, that one! Everybody had that, didn't they?

0:17:57 > 0:18:00- AUDIENCE: Yeah! - That was Queen with One Vision.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04Brian May is worth a reported £85 million.

0:18:04 > 0:18:10A lot of money, but with him AND Anita Dobson in the house, most goes on shower caps and Frizz Ease.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13Don't. He'll be blogging. He hates this show.

0:18:13 > 0:18:19Tom, I've been meaning to ask about your lyric, Playing With Lightning.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22- Yeah.- Who wrote that lyric? - My mum, actually.

0:18:22 > 0:18:26- "Playing with fire" is the saying. Your mum got it wrong? - Yeah. Shocking song-writer!

0:18:26 > 0:18:30What's your next song? Catchy Catchy Catchy Rabbit?

0:18:30 > 0:18:34Before we go on, I propose a slight change to the format.

0:18:34 > 0:18:39Because Charlie is a comedian but as he's proved, he's also a musician,

0:18:39 > 0:18:42it's a little bit unfair, so I'm going to handicap you.

0:18:42 > 0:18:46We'll put some ear defenders on you so you cannot hear what's going on.

0:18:46 > 0:18:53- Tom is a musician, but he's in The Wanted, so he's at a slight disadvantage.- Bastard!

0:18:53 > 0:18:57We'll help you out, Tom. We'll allow you to mime.

0:18:57 > 0:19:01We will, literally, play the track in. It's a visual game today.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03OK.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07# Took her for a drink on Tuesday

0:19:07 > 0:19:11# We were making love by Wednesday...

0:19:11 > 0:19:15Blow jobs. # ..We chilled on Sunday. #

0:19:15 > 0:19:17LAUGHTER

0:19:17 > 0:19:19APPLAUSE

0:19:21 > 0:19:27- # I took her for a drink on... # - It looked more like "I sucked him off on Tuesday."

0:19:27 > 0:19:29- Charlie, take your muffs off. - Am I shouting?

0:19:29 > 0:19:33You can't pretend you can't hear and have a conversation with Rhod!

0:19:33 > 0:19:37- What do you think it was? - It's called 7 Days? No?

0:19:37 > 0:19:42- It is called 7 Days.- 7 Days. - He's absolutely right. Awesome.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45Craig David, 7 Days. Well done. Good work there.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47That was Craig David with 7 Days.

0:19:47 > 0:19:52Craig says he can't go shopping as he gets mobbed by fans bombarding him with questions.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55Presumably, "Can you enter your PIN, sir?"

0:19:55 > 0:19:59"Do you want to try another card? How much cash do you have?

0:19:59 > 0:20:03"Do you want to put one of the pairs back, Mr um... David?"

0:20:03 > 0:20:06- LAUGHTER - Round three is the Identity Parade.

0:20:06 > 0:20:09Noel, Caroline and Jimmy, how about some '70s funk?

0:20:09 > 0:20:12For the audience only, here is Heatwave.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14- # Boogie nights - Get that groove

0:20:14 > 0:20:16# Let it take you higher

0:20:16 > 0:20:18- # Boogie nights - Make it move

0:20:18 > 0:20:20# Set this place on fire

0:20:20 > 0:20:23# Dance with the boogie, get down

0:20:23 > 0:20:28# Cos boogie nights are always the best in town... #

0:20:28 > 0:20:33That was Heatwave with Boogie Nights, the second single I ever bought.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Which one of our line-up is guitarist Roy Carter?

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Is it number one, Heatwave?

0:20:38 > 0:20:40Number two, damp patches?

0:20:40 > 0:20:43Number three, snow balls?

0:20:43 > 0:20:47Number four, gale force winds?

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Or number five, Michelle Gayle off EastEnders?

0:20:50 > 0:20:52LAUGHTER

0:20:55 > 0:20:58- What are your thoughts, guys? - Number one, I think.

0:20:58 > 0:21:02- CAROLINE: Number one looks really... - Charismatic.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05- No, I think number two.- Really? - Yeah.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Look at that confidence in his eyes.

0:21:07 > 0:21:12- You say number three looks like he's out of The Shining?- Number four!

0:21:12 > 0:21:16Definitely looks like something out of The Shining.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18He's also the voice of Hong Kong Fuey.

0:21:18 > 0:21:25- This might tease it out of him. Boogie Nights was the second single I bought. 1977.- I love that song.

0:21:25 > 0:21:29The cheeky bastards put the same song on the B-side.

0:21:29 > 0:21:3279 pence I paid for that! WH Smith, 1977!

0:21:32 > 0:21:38Same bloody song on the B-side! What you got to say to that, you cheating bastard?

0:21:38 > 0:21:42There's something hilarious about you as a child in Wales

0:21:42 > 0:21:44buying that as your first single.

0:21:44 > 0:21:49Second single. First one was Mnah Mnah by The Muppets.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53- Phill, what was your first single? - The Streak by Ray Stevens.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56- Yours?- Adam Ant, Prince Charming. - Get in!

0:21:56 > 0:21:58- What about you?- Jive Bunny.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01NOEL LAUGHS I loved it!

0:22:01 > 0:22:07You can tell if they've been on stage if they dance to the music a little bit.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Play it in and see what happens.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11BOOGIE NIGHTS PLAYS

0:22:15 > 0:22:18Look at number two. He doesn't like it!

0:22:18 > 0:22:20Number two's got it.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24- Number one?- Number one.

0:22:24 > 0:22:28JIMMY: Number five's pretty happy in there.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30LAUGHTER Number two or number five.

0:22:30 > 0:22:35If BBC Wales are watching, they've found the next Dr Who.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38Who do you think it is, guys?

0:22:38 > 0:22:40- I think it's number one, myself. - < No!

0:22:40 > 0:22:44I think number two's got the rhythm in him, but you're in charge.

0:22:44 > 0:22:49- I've seen number two in other line-ups on this series. - LAUGHTER

0:22:49 > 0:22:53- What are you going for?- Two looks... - It's not two, I promise you.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56I've seen him every week!

0:22:56 > 0:22:58LAUGHTER

0:22:58 > 0:23:01- Has it ever been him, though? - You just blew my mind.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04- LAUGHTER I think number one.- Me too.

0:23:04 > 0:23:08- What do you think? - Majority rules, go with number one.

0:23:08 > 0:23:12Would the real Roy Carter please step forward?

0:23:12 > 0:23:14CHEERS AND WHISTLES

0:23:19 > 0:23:21Roy, was my memory right?

0:23:21 > 0:23:25- B-side and A-side were the same. - You owe me 40 pence!

0:23:28 > 0:23:32Still performing with Heatwave and recording albums, Roy Carter.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:23:37 > 0:23:40Phill, Charlie and Tom, what about some '90s Brit pop?

0:23:40 > 0:23:42For the audience only, Echobelly.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45# I wanna do great things

0:23:45 > 0:23:48# I don't wanna compromise

0:23:48 > 0:23:51# I wanna know what life is

0:23:51 > 0:23:54# I wanna know everything

0:23:54 > 0:23:56# I wanna do great things

0:23:56 > 0:24:00# I don't wanna compromise

0:24:00 > 0:24:02# I wanna know what love is... #

0:24:02 > 0:24:08That was Echobelly with Great Things but which of our line-up is guitarist Debbie Smith?

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Is it number one, Echobelly?

0:24:10 > 0:24:14Number two, Halle Belly? Number three, Belly Savalas?

0:24:14 > 0:24:19Number four, Belly Wogan? Or number five, Nick Belly off Heartbeat?

0:24:19 > 0:24:25Tom, looking at five girls in a row, I heard that you bedded five ladies in one night.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28No, he was coaching a small football team.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Was it the Saturdays?

0:24:30 > 0:24:35- Was it the Osmonds? - TOM: It was a swingers' party.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Suddenly, Tom, your T-shirt's making sense.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41CHARLIE: By the fifth, I'd be, "Uh!"

0:24:41 > 0:24:49"I don't think I've got it in me, to be honest. Do you mind folding it up and putting it in?"

0:24:49 > 0:24:53GROANS AND LAUGHTER

0:24:54 > 0:24:57Devon's answer to Frank Sinatra(!)

0:24:57 > 0:24:59LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:25:02 > 0:25:06Straightaway, when she came out, me and Charlie went, "Number three."

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Immediately went number three.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Would the real Debbie Smith please step forward?

0:25:13 > 0:25:16CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:25:19 > 0:25:26Now working at Intoxica Records and playing guitar with the band Blindness, Debbie Smith!

0:25:26 > 0:25:29CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:25:32 > 0:25:35We end with Next Lines. Phill's team are in the lead so you go first.

0:25:35 > 0:25:40Your time starts...now. "We were making love by Wednesday."

0:25:40 > 0:25:43And on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Chilled on Sunday.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Craig David, 7 Days. "My universe will never be the same."

0:25:46 > 0:25:52- I'm glad you came. She got it. - It's "I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came."

0:25:52 > 0:25:55- One of the five, is she? - She came twice.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57Don't put yourself down.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00"I know that it's a little bit frightening."

0:26:00 > 0:26:04But I need a chlamydia test after this show.

0:26:04 > 0:26:07Is that one of yours? Might as well be playing with lightning.

0:26:07 > 0:26:12It is! The one your mum wrote and got the saying wrong, bizarrely.

0:26:12 > 0:26:16Um... "One swallow does not make a...?"

0:26:16 > 0:26:20- Summer.- No. Zoo.- Zoo?- Yeah. - Oh, you're getting them wrong.

0:26:20 > 0:26:24- "Blood is thicker than...?" - Soup.- Water.- Um Bongo, Tom.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27- "The early bird catches the..." - Worm.- Train, Tom.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30Oh! END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

0:26:32 > 0:26:35APPLAUSE

0:26:35 > 0:26:39Noel's team, you need five to win. "Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy, come home."

0:26:39 > 0:26:44- # So co-o-old Let me in at your window... # - Kate Bush, Wuthering Heights.

0:26:44 > 0:26:48"I'll be your long haired lover from Liverpool. I'll do anything you say."

0:26:48 > 0:26:51# I'll be your clown or your puppet or your April fool #

0:26:51 > 0:26:55That wasn't the right order. # If you'll be my sunshine daisy from LA. #

0:26:55 > 0:26:57CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:26:57 > 0:27:02- That's two. - "Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry."

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Is this a song or just your own diaries?

0:27:04 > 0:27:09That's how it's said. "Things are getting strange I'm starting to WORRY."

0:27:09 > 0:27:11# Starting to WORRY

0:27:11 > 0:27:15- # Mulder and SCULLY. # - There's a bit before that.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17# Something something Mulder and SCULLY. #

0:27:17 > 0:27:20Rhod, how did you manage to do a bad Welsh accent?

0:27:20 > 0:27:23"This could be a case for Mulder and Scully."

0:27:23 > 0:27:26This could be a case for Mulder and Scully.

0:27:26 > 0:27:30Difficult to give you that after I just said it.

0:27:30 > 0:27:33"Baby, you light up my world like nobody else."

0:27:33 > 0:27:37# Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

0:27:37 > 0:27:40# The way you hm hm hm hm makes me la la la

0:27:40 > 0:27:44# That's what makes you beautiful. #

0:27:44 > 0:27:49- I have to press you to get it more accurately than that.- You feed me fish fingers in the dark.

0:27:49 > 0:27:53I'll accept that. "The way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed."

0:27:53 > 0:27:55END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

0:27:55 > 0:27:59CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:27:59 > 0:28:01Noel's team, you have three points.

0:28:01 > 0:28:06Three points, Noel, but this week's winners are Phill's team with a whopping six.

0:28:06 > 0:28:08CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:28:11 > 0:28:13You won that fair and square.

0:28:13 > 0:28:17Thanks to Phill, Charlie and Tom, Noel, Jimmy and Caroline.

0:28:17 > 0:28:22I've been Rhod Gilbert. I'm off to see a man about a horse. Good night.

0:28:31 > 0:28:34Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:34 > 0:28:38E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk

0:28:53 > 0:28:56Guys, I've arrived. I'm ready to host.

0:28:57 > 0:29:01That's the weirdest chimney I have ever come down.