0:00:09 > 0:00:17This programme contains very strong language.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Welcome to the new series of Never Mind The Buzzcocks -
0:00:28 > 0:00:31the pop quiz that refuses to cynically jump on popular, bandwagons
0:00:31 > 0:00:35so sit back and enjoy as we aim to inspire a generation
0:00:35 > 0:00:37with our gold medal-winning pop trivia.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41Nothing like the Olympics - Never Mind The Buzzcocks 2012 opening ceremony.
0:00:41 > 0:00:46He's been on the show since the first series. In fact, historians believe he won the first episode
0:00:46 > 0:00:50by beating Hercules in a chariot race around Mount Olympus -
0:00:50 > 0:00:52it's team captain, Phill Jupitus!
0:00:52 > 0:00:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:03 > 0:01:05After the humiliation of the gender test, we can confirm
0:01:05 > 0:01:10he's half man, half goth and half crow, made of fudge and rainbows.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13It's team captain, Noel Fielding!
0:01:13 > 0:01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:18 > 0:01:21And, introducing your guest host for the evening -
0:01:21 > 0:01:25she's the holder of the gold medal in ladies individual speed smoking -
0:01:25 > 0:01:28it's tonight's games maker -
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Kathy Burke!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Hello! Welcome to a brand new series of Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59I'm Kathy Burke and I'm perfectly placed to host a topical pop quiz,
0:01:59 > 0:02:01because I think all modern music's a bit rubbish,
0:02:01 > 0:02:04and I haven't bought a record since the Sex Pistols broke up.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06LAUGHTER
0:02:06 > 0:02:10But I'm not as old as I look. I've yet to reach the stage of wheezing and then weeing.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12So, on Phill's team tonight...
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Is a member of N-Duz
0:02:16 > 0:02:19who's now finding success as a solo artist.
0:02:19 > 0:02:24In fact, out on N-Dubz, only Tulisa has more hits on YouTube.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26It's Fazer!
0:02:26 > 0:02:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:29 > 0:02:33And a stand-up comedian who says her first gig was years ago
0:02:33 > 0:02:36in what she describes as "a rough Newcastle pub."
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Of course, the Northeast has changed since then.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42That pub is now a gastro shit hole.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43It's Sarah Millican.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:47 > 0:02:48And, with Noel tonight...
0:02:50 > 0:02:53It's the singer of Blink-182,
0:02:53 > 0:02:54who is so rock and roll
0:02:54 > 0:02:57he claimed he once wore the same pair of underpants
0:02:57 > 0:02:59for an entire ten-week tour.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01The band also threw a TV out the window.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04But that was purely for ventilation purposes.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05It's Mark Hoppus!
0:03:05 > 0:03:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:11 > 0:03:12And an Olympic hero.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Having him here gives me the same feeling I get receiving Christmas presents.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19I think, "That's a really odd-looking jumper." It's Gregg Rutherford!
0:03:19 > 0:03:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Right, then, we begin with a round called Mo' Money, Mo' Problems.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Phill, Fazer and Sarah, take a look at this.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36# Smoke up a cigarette... #
0:03:36 > 0:03:38That's right, it's gifted drug abuser,
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Snoop Dogg!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41LAUGHTER
0:03:41 > 0:03:43# Sensual seduction... #
0:03:43 > 0:03:46That was Snoop Dogg with Sensual Seduction.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51But which of the following objects under your desk has Snoop Dogg been selling?
0:03:51 > 0:03:56Is it A - what Fazer has - his own brand of dog biscuits?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58B - a smokeable songbook?
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Or C- has he designed his own children's clothing range?
0:04:02 > 0:04:04LAUGHTER
0:04:04 > 0:04:07So what do you think Mr Snoop has been up to?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09I'll let you know a random fact, yeah?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Yes?- He's actually changed his name
0:04:11 > 0:04:14to Snoop Lion, for some bizarre reason.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- And he's doing a reggae album. - "Snoop" what?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Lion.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- I thought you said "Snoop Laying." - No, like a lion.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- You know what that is?- What? - Evolution.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Yeah?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25LAUGHTER
0:04:25 > 0:04:27He starts as a dog,
0:04:27 > 0:04:30and become a progressively larger animal.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I imagine his next incarnation will be
0:04:33 > 0:04:36"Snoop Buffalo".
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I was going to say "Buffalo".
0:04:38 > 0:04:39I was thinking of a larger animal.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42LAUGHTER
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Before you answer, Fazer -
0:04:43 > 0:04:45you were in a combo called The N-Dubz...?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47"The" N-Dubz? N-Dubz, yeah.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49And it was you and your friends...?
0:04:49 > 0:04:50- My childhood friends.- Lovely.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- And you know Miss Tulisa?- Yes, I do.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- Can I ask you...? - Yes, you can indeed.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- When you were dating Miss Tulisa... - Yes.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59..Did she ever whisper in your ear,
0:04:59 > 0:05:01"I want a brown baby!"?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03LAUGHTER
0:05:05 > 0:05:07APPLAUSE
0:05:11 > 0:05:13To be honest, she never have, but if she did,
0:05:13 > 0:05:15I think it would come out something like that.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17- LAUGHTER - Beautiful.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20What about the kids' clothing range?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22I don't know if that's likely.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24I don't know where you'd stock it.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Look - it looks like "Ganstalumpa".
0:05:25 > 0:05:27LAUGHTER
0:05:27 > 0:05:29You'd have to go to "Motherfuckercare", wouldn't you?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:05:37 > 0:05:39This is a book where you can smoke the pages - is that the idea?
0:05:39 > 0:05:44When you buy the book, you have to go to a guy's house and listen to his demo tapes for a while?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46LAUGHTER
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Let's see what this is like.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Feel free.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54It's like the Dutch Yellow Pages.
0:05:54 > 0:05:55LAUGHTER
0:05:55 > 0:05:58That's rather nice, actually. It's quite mellow.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00A mellow thing. Very good.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Let me press you for an answer now.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- It might be the book.- It's the book.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06You're absolutely right!
0:06:06 > 0:06:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:10 > 0:06:13That's right - the answer is the book.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Snoop Dogg released a smokeable songbook, which contains Snoop's famous lyrics
0:06:17 > 0:06:20printed on smokeable king-sized rolling papers.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Or if you prefer, you can get it as an e-book.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:34 > 0:06:36I'll do that through the whole show now!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39I found something, it's worked, I'm sticking with it.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Noel, Mark and Gregg, have a look at this, please.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46# I wish our hearts could come together as one... #
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Loved worldwide by the mentally ill,
0:06:49 > 0:06:54it's fresh-faced pop android, Justin Bieber.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58That was Justin Bieber with Eenie Meanie.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02But which of these products did Justin try to flog?
0:07:02 > 0:07:06Was it A - his own range of vitamins and supplements?
0:07:06 > 0:07:09B - his own range of nail varnish?
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Or C - his own self-penned book of romantic poems?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Did he say "shorty" in that song?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I don't know what he said, the little twat, I wasn't listening...
0:07:19 > 0:07:22LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:07:27 > 0:07:29It could be the pan pipes.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31LAUGHTER
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Bieber's got a beautiful, delicate hand...
0:07:34 > 0:07:36I think that it is the vitamins,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38because I remember the commercial for this.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41He said, "Bieber vitamins - it's the fastest way to get me inside you."
0:07:41 > 0:07:43LAUGHTER
0:07:48 > 0:07:50...Swallow me.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53LAUGHTER
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Gregg, what about you? Before you answer, Gregg...
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I just have to say,
0:07:57 > 0:07:59I am so thrilled you're on this show,
0:07:59 > 0:08:03because I did say to the producers,
0:08:03 > 0:08:06it would be marvellous to get one of our great Olympians on.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11Obviously, I would have preferred Mo Farah...
0:08:11 > 0:08:13LAUGHTER
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Do you ever think about anything when you're mid-flight?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19LAUGHTER
0:08:19 > 0:08:21"I really fancy some toast."
0:08:21 > 0:08:24It happens so quick, you don't have a lot of time to...
0:08:24 > 0:08:26You haven't not landed?
0:08:26 > 0:08:27LAUGHTER
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Do you land in sand?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Do you ever worry you'll land on a dog-poo?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37LAUGHTER
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Gregg, now you're a well-known guy.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44You've joined the elite of the beautiful flame-haired...
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Celebrities,
0:08:47 > 0:08:49who often are the butt of jokes.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51I'm not into that, so let's play...
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Name That Ginger!
0:08:55 > 0:09:00APPLAUSE
0:09:00 > 0:09:01Who Am I?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I have had 20 Top ten singles
0:09:04 > 0:09:07and sold over three million albums in the UK.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08What about Noel?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Chris Moyles called me "horsey chops".
0:09:11 > 0:09:14And "that ginger one".
0:09:14 > 0:09:17- The one out of Girls Aloud. - Exactly(!) It's that one from Girls Aloud.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19LAUGHTER
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Is that officially her name - "the one out of Girls Aloud" (?)
0:09:22 > 0:09:25That's what I have here!
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Another one?
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Let's play Name That Ginger!
0:09:29 > 0:09:30LAUGHTER
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- Who am I?- Ronald McDonald!
0:09:32 > 0:09:34LAUGHTER
0:09:34 > 0:09:36I love karaoke.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40I'ma big fan of fellow ginger, Paul Scholes.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44And also like medieval history.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I like to call myself "The Ginger Wizard".
0:09:47 > 0:09:49The first fact isn't correct.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50I don't like karaoke.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52LAUGHTER
0:09:54 > 0:09:56- You love karoake! - I've never sung karaoke.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- I assume you're talking about me. - Yes, well done.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I've never even done Karaoke.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03I'll make sure I never say that again.
0:10:03 > 0:10:08I'd love it if tonight, you went straight to a karaoke bar.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Name that ginger. Who am I?
0:10:11 > 0:10:16- I am characterised by my strong, sweet yet wooden smell.- Chewbacca.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22I have been used since ancient time to help treat digestive problems.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Ginger.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Who am I? It doesn't say that on this card,
0:10:31 > 0:10:34but she's really fucking annoying.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- Geri Halliwell.- That's right. Geri Halliwell.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48Well done, everybody.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51And thank you so much for playing Name That Ginger.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59OK, back to Justin Bieber. What do we think he was selling?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02I know it's not the book because the book says
0:11:02 > 0:11:04"if I was your girlfriend" and it should be
0:11:04 > 0:11:07if I WERE your girlfriend because that's a subjunctive.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09It doesn't presuppose...
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Presuppose the statement to be true
0:11:11 > 0:11:14so you have to use the subjunctive, if I WERE your boyfriend.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17And they say Americans are stupid.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20I've got Bieber's ghost hand here.
0:11:20 > 0:11:26You can high-five yourself or if Bieber's feeling a bit fruity...
0:11:26 > 0:11:31Justin! Justin, what are you doing?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33I've got his fucking haircut.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36How did that happen?
0:11:38 > 0:11:41I thought he loves all his song stuff...
0:11:41 > 0:11:43You can jump like a powerful flea, so...
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- Are you going to go with Greg? - Yeah.- You're wrong.- Ohh!
0:11:48 > 0:11:52- No, it is the nail varnish. - What a curveball!
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Justin sells nail varnish despite saying,
0:11:55 > 0:11:58"I hate getting sticky stuff on my hands."
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Just do what I do, kid. Swallow.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09Bieber has broken a lot of young girls' hearts.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11I say hearts - hymens.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22At the end of that round, Phill's team have one
0:12:22 > 0:12:25and Noel's team have nothing.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28APPLAUSE
0:12:28 > 0:12:31OK, here we go. Back by popular demand.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34It's now time for the Intros round.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40- Phill and Fazer, here are yours for Sarah.- Oh, God.
0:12:42 > 0:12:471, 2, 3, 4. # Dum, dum diddle-iddle, dum dum
0:12:47 > 0:12:50# Dum, dum, diddle-iddle, dum dum
0:12:50 > 0:12:55# Doo doo-doo do doo doo-doo
0:12:55 > 0:12:58# Boo boo-boo, boo boo, boo doo doo-doo doo
0:12:58 > 0:13:01# Whoo-o-o-o whoo-o
0:13:01 > 0:13:05# Whoo-o-o-o whoo-o. #
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- When you both started screaming... - Screaming?!
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- A-a-a-ah.- Exactly.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15It's what I imagine a stroke sounds like in your head.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Aagh! Like that.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20I've got nothing, pet.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23- Shall I hand it over? - I wouldn't bother.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29It was actually Who's That Lady by the Isley Brothers.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32This is how it should have sounded.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34MUSIC: "Who's That Lady" by The Isley Brothers
0:13:40 > 0:13:44That's the stroke bit.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50OK, and the next one please, boys.
0:13:50 > 0:13:56- # Du-u-u-u-h... #- Death March! - Kind of.- OK.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00# Duh, duh, duh
0:14:00 > 0:14:05# Duh-duh-duh, duh, duh... #
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Sex it up a bit.- OK.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10# Duh-duh-duh, duh, duh
0:14:10 > 0:14:16# Duh-duh-duh, duh, duh...
0:14:19 > 0:14:23- HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:- Someone needs to see me dance!
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Sorry, I was being one of Sarah's mates at a club in Newcastle.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I still have no idea what it is.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30I imagine we've clouded the issue.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32- Does anyone over here know?- No.- No.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35It's Aerosmith and Don't Want To Miss a Thing.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- Oh!- And this is how the thing starts.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40INTRO STARTS
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Who knew? Who knew?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45You never hear this bit.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49# Stay with me Just to hear you...
0:14:49 > 0:14:52It's a big build-up. It's like foreplay coming from Steven there.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Really?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- Do you think he's sexy?- Oh, I do!
0:14:56 > 0:15:00I'm nearly 50, mate, of course I think he's sexy.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02He's still alive!
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Amazing
0:15:03 > 0:15:04APPLAUSE
0:15:08 > 0:15:10So that was The Isley Brothers with Who's That Lady?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13The Isley Brothers were once a six-piece band,
0:15:13 > 0:15:15but two of the brothers died.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18I know what you're thinking, "If only that would happen to Jedward!"
0:15:18 > 0:15:19LAUGHTER
0:15:21 > 0:15:24And then we ended with Aerosmith with I Don't Want To Miss A Thing.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28Steve Tyler says his idea of fun is finding the right stewardess
0:15:28 > 0:15:31and turning her upside-down in the back of a plane.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34You can't do that on Ryan Air, costs and extra seven quid!
0:15:34 > 0:15:39Right, so, Noel and Mark, here are yours for Greg, my darling.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41- All right.- OK
0:15:41 > 0:15:42- Oh, right.- First one.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Two, three, four.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50# Doo-doo-doo! Doo-doo! Doo-doo!
0:15:50 > 0:15:53# Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! Ding-ding-ding! #
0:15:53 > 0:15:56TUNE IS SIMILAR TO BAA-BAA BLACK SHEEP
0:15:56 > 0:15:57I liked this song when it came out.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00# Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- # Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! - Doo-doo-doo!
0:16:03 > 0:16:05# Ding! #
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- Has that helped?- I do know this. - Xylophones.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Imagine you're flying through the air and you hear that.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13# Doo-doo-doo! #
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Gotye?- That's right.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- And it was Somebody I Used To Know. - Correct!
0:16:18 > 0:16:20APPLAUSE
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Well done!
0:16:23 > 0:16:26And here's how it should have sounded.
0:16:26 > 0:16:27INTRO PLAYS
0:16:27 > 0:16:30You nailed it. You got this.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Kathy SINGS ALONG
0:16:33 > 0:16:37# Three bags full! #
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Can we have the next one, please, lads?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44# Boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom! #
0:16:44 > 0:16:48MARK TAPS HIS FEET
0:16:48 > 0:16:51# Boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom!
0:16:51 > 0:16:53# Doo-doo!
0:16:53 > 0:16:55HUMMING BECOMES MANIC
0:16:58 > 0:17:02- I've got a funny feeling it was played at the Olympics.- Might have been.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06A fair bit. I'm going to guess and I might get it wrong, is it Survival?
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Ohh-hh!
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Yes. Well done, Greg.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09APPLAUSE
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Absolutely right. It's Survival by Muse and this is how it should have sounded.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18INTRO PLAYS
0:17:26 > 0:17:27LAUGHTER
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Yes...
0:17:36 > 0:17:37LAUGHTER CONTINUES
0:17:39 > 0:17:40APPLAUSE
0:17:43 > 0:17:47If I was training for the Olympics, that's exactly the sort of music I'd like to listen to.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Just sounds like someone's coming after you with a knife.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51LAUGHTER
0:17:51 > 0:17:56OK, so that was Gotye with Somebody That I Used To Know.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59For a joke, one of Gotye's friends recently tweeted
0:17:59 > 0:18:03that he had passed away whilst riding a unicorn over a double rainbow -
0:18:03 > 0:18:08a phrase not heard since a customs officer asked Noel Fielding, "Purpose of visit?"
0:18:08 > 0:18:09LAUGHTER
0:18:13 > 0:18:18We finish there with Muse with their official Olympic track, Survival.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23Survival was the official song of the Olympics, although Greg will remember a different musical moment,
0:18:23 > 0:18:27proud atop of the podium as 80,000 people stood together
0:18:27 > 0:18:31and in one voice bellowed, "Come on, Mo!"
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Yeah, story of my life.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38And at the end of that round, Noel's team have two
0:18:38 > 0:18:39and Phill's team have one.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40APPLAUSE
0:18:46 > 0:18:49OK, Round Three is the identity parade.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54Phill's team, how about a little early '90s bass grunge?
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Here is Nirvana.
0:18:56 > 0:19:01# With the lights out It's less dangerous
0:19:01 > 0:19:05# Here we are now Entertain us
0:19:05 > 0:19:11# I feel stupid and contagious Here we are now
0:19:11 > 0:19:13# Entertain us... #
0:19:13 > 0:19:16OK, that was Nirvana with Smells Like Teen Spirit,
0:19:16 > 0:19:21but which of our line-up is Spencer Eldon, the now grown-up baby
0:19:21 > 0:19:25featured on the front cover of the band's iconic album, Never Mind?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Is it number one - never mind,
0:19:27 > 0:19:30number two - never mind the buzzcocks,
0:19:30 > 0:19:34number three - never mind the tiny cocks...
0:19:34 > 0:19:35LAUGHTER
0:19:35 > 0:19:39..number four - never mind, your mum still loves you...
0:19:39 > 0:19:40LAUGHTER
0:19:40 > 0:19:44..or number five - aw-w, never mind?
0:19:44 > 0:19:45LAUGHTER
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Phill, team?
0:19:47 > 0:19:53This is the first time we've ever had an actual photo of the person in the line-up to work from.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Is there a reason why number four has got a massive pixelated cock?
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Just compared to the other ones, it's much bigger, isn't it?
0:20:03 > 0:20:04That's right.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06- Number two looks very confident. - Yeah.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- He does look confident within himself, doesn't he?- He does, doesn't he?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I'm just pleased for him as a man.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15There's a saying, "I'm feeling comfortable within my skin."
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Yes, it's that funny little smile. Look at his face!
0:20:19 > 0:20:20LAUGHTER
0:20:22 > 0:20:25It's almost like a baby now - look at him!
0:20:29 > 0:20:31I could pick which one I most want to breastfeed.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37I think it's number two cos his face is exactly the same - look at it.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Bless him.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Number two - is that your final answer?
0:20:40 > 0:20:46- Yeah.- OK, well, let's find out. Would the real Nirvana baby please step forward?
0:20:48 > 0:20:51ALL: Oh-h!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Lovely! There's lovely Spencer.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02How did you get the gig, Spencer?
0:21:02 > 0:21:06Well, my dad was going to school with a bunch of photographers
0:21:06 > 0:21:08and one of his photographer buddies called him up
0:21:08 > 0:21:11and said he was in a bind and he needed a baby and would throw him in a pool
0:21:11 > 0:21:15and I was just born at the time so they just threw me in the pool.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19How much sex have you got from being the Nirvana baby?
0:21:19 > 0:21:23I definitely got laid at least twice because of that, maybe more.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25LAUGHTER
0:21:25 > 0:21:29At one point in the relationship do you bust that secret on...?
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Very first line.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32LAUGHTER
0:21:34 > 0:21:39Now he's working as a screen printer in LA - Spencer Eldon, ladies and gentlemen!
0:21:39 > 0:21:40APPLAUSE
0:21:46 > 0:21:51OK, Noel, Mark and Greg, how about some, it says on the autocue here,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54"Hardcore teen indie pop rock"?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Well, whatever it is, it sounds shit -
0:21:56 > 0:21:59it's Miley Cyrus.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02# I wanna be with the one I know
0:22:02 > 0:22:09# And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
0:22:09 > 0:22:14# Yeah! You make me love you... #
0:22:14 > 0:22:20OK, that was Miley Cyrus there with 7 Things, but which of our line-up is Carl McCoid,
0:22:20 > 0:22:25a Miley Cyrus super-fan, who has covered his body in tattoos
0:22:25 > 0:22:27dedicated to Miley Cyrus?
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Is it number one - Miley,
0:22:31 > 0:22:34number two - Miley-strung,
0:22:34 > 0:22:37number three - Miley Little Pony...
0:22:37 > 0:22:38LAUGHTER
0:22:44 > 0:22:48..number four - my place or yours? -
0:22:48 > 0:22:52or it cost so much to get him on the show, we thought we'd better get our money's worth out of him,
0:22:52 > 0:22:55number five, Spencer Eldon, the Nirvana baby!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57APPLAUSE
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Is it number five?
0:23:02 > 0:23:03LAUGHTER
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Number two looks like Steven Tyler.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09me and you, then, after the show, baby!
0:23:11 > 0:23:12Is he ginger?
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Yeah.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18It's one of your crew!
0:23:18 > 0:23:20He's a wrong jumper.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- Number four looks...- He looks upset.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28- He looks like he's really about to...- Kill all of us.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Has he got any arms or is he just...?
0:23:31 > 0:23:36- I'd go for number four.- Yeah, you go for it.- It's on me, I'm picking four.
0:23:36 > 0:23:41Number four? Well, let's find out. Will the real Carl McCoid please step forward?
0:23:41 > 0:23:43ALL: Oh!
0:23:47 > 0:23:48APPLAUSE
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Marvellous!
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Wow! So you've got loads of Miley Cyrus tattoos?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- 17 up to now.- Can we have a look at your tattoos, please?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Wow! This is the best part of the show.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- Oh, wow!- Oooh!
0:24:04 > 0:24:07- Is that her on your arm? - Yeah.- Both arms.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09- Wow!- Oh!
0:24:09 > 0:24:11I've got one on my leg as well.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Oh, my goodness.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16You know she's got some of you, don't you?
0:24:16 > 0:24:17LAUGHTER
0:24:17 > 0:24:18I reckon so, yeah.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Can we ask number four why he looks so upset this whole time?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24LAUGHTER
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Do you know why? He's only got 16 tattoos. He's not the biggest super-fan.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32I didn't want to say this but I've got a Fazer on my chest.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37I saw someone with my face on their arm.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40It was actually on twitter when I saw it and she said to me,
0:24:40 > 0:24:44"Oh, my God, when I get old, man, my Fazer tattoo's going to look wrinkly."
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Someone replied, "Don't matter, he'll be old by then so he'll match up."
0:24:48 > 0:24:49LAUGHTER
0:24:49 > 0:24:54Now preparing for a new tattoo of Miley's latest album cover, Carl McCoid, ladies and gentlemen.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55APPLAUSE
0:25:01 > 0:25:05And at the end of that round, Noel's team have two and Phill's team have one.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08APPLAUSE
0:25:08 > 0:25:16And so we end with Next Lines. Noel's team, you're in the lead so you go first.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Here we go. "Oh, can't you see what I mean? Might as well..."
0:25:25 > 0:25:26"Do a long jump"?
0:25:26 > 0:25:29"..jump." Van Halen, Jump.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31ALL: Oh!
0:25:31 > 0:25:32"A Mac dad will make you..."
0:25:32 > 0:25:33- Jump!- Jump!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35That's it - jump.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38"Say it ain't so, I will not go..."
0:25:38 > 0:25:40"Turn the lights off, carry me home."
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it?
0:25:42 > 0:25:44That's our song!
0:25:44 > 0:25:46CHEERING
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Blink 182, All The Small Things.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare."
0:25:54 > 0:25:58- "The shadow in the background of the morgue."- Oh, isn't it marvellous!
0:25:58 > 0:25:59CHEERING
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Blink 182, I Miss You.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07"Jump, jump for my love."
0:26:07 > 0:26:09# Jump, jump for my love, jumping! #
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- "Jump in and feel my touch."- That's what I said.- I think we should give him the point.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14END-OF ROUND JINGLE
0:26:18 > 0:26:21So Phill's team, you need seven points to win.
0:26:21 > 0:26:27- It's not going to happen.- Give it a go. "I've got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it..."
0:26:30 > 0:26:33"I've got some cream from the doctor's."
0:26:33 > 0:26:34"I'm sexy and I know it."
0:26:34 > 0:26:35# Sexy and I know it! #
0:26:35 > 0:26:39"Me and a couple, man, rollin' in a whip..."
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Sounds like something N Dubz would have done.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43# Rollin' in a whip! #
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Did you just say, "It sounds like something N Dubz would have done"?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Yeah.
0:26:47 > 0:26:48LAUGHTER
0:26:48 > 0:26:52- Rollin' in a whip...- Rollin' without a G - rollin'...
0:26:52 > 0:26:54in a whip.
0:26:54 > 0:26:59It's "met a pretty young lady or should I say a bitch?"
0:26:59 > 0:27:03His face!#
0:27:05 > 0:27:08That's N Dubz, I Need You.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Oh, yes!
0:27:10 > 0:27:13"Ooh, baby, I'm hot, just like an oven."
0:27:13 > 0:27:14LAUGHTER
0:27:18 > 0:27:19"But I need a good clean!"
0:27:21 > 0:27:26"I need some lovin'." It's Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing. I can't believe you didn't recognise it.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29Right. "Cock back, lock and loud..."
0:27:29 > 0:27:33That's mine. It's, "Cock back, lock and loud, I got my aim, I'm ready to go."
0:27:33 > 0:27:35That's it. Fazer, Killer.
0:27:35 > 0:27:36APPLAUSE
0:27:36 > 0:27:38END-OF ROUND JINGLE
0:27:40 > 0:27:46And so the final scores are Phill's team have two,
0:27:46 > 0:27:48but Noel's team are tonight's winners with seven!
0:27:55 > 0:28:00That's it for tonight, thanks to Phill, Fazer and Sarah Millican,
0:28:00 > 0:28:03to Noel, Mark Hoppus and Greg "Jumpers" Rutherford.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks. I've been Kathy Burke.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Thank you, Mrs Patterson.
0:28:10 > 0:28:15And as you enjoy the credits, we're going to see if Mark from Blink 182
0:28:15 > 0:28:20can actually blink 182 times before those credits end.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22Enjoy. Good night.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:06 > 0:29:07Good luck!