Episode 10

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0:00:19 > 0:00:21APPLAUSE

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Welcome to the Never Mind The Buzzcocks

0:00:32 > 0:00:36World Music Appreciation special.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38And please welcome your host for the evening -

0:00:38 > 0:00:41international favourite Stephen Mangan.

0:01:13 > 0:01:18Hello and welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks' World Music Appreciation special.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22I'm Stephen Mangan. On Phill's team tonight...

0:01:24 > 0:01:27is a singer who is best friends with Katie Price,

0:01:27 > 0:01:30and has a been the bridesmaid at over half of her weddings.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34If she does one more, she gets the next hat free. It's Michelle Heaton.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42And a comic actor who did some of the voices

0:01:42 > 0:01:44for the new animation series Full English,

0:01:44 > 0:01:48but admits he couldn't quite pull off Simon Cowell.

0:01:48 > 0:01:51And for legal reasons, moving on, it's Kayvan Novak!

0:01:56 > 0:02:02And on Noel's team tonight is grime artist Sway,

0:02:02 > 0:02:05or as he is known to his friends and family, Derek.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14And a Canadian comedian who says that what she loves about comedy

0:02:14 > 0:02:18in this country is that it has a clever twist to it.

0:02:18 > 0:02:22Yeah, right. It's pooh pooh willy willy bum-face Katherine Ryan.

0:02:26 > 0:02:31Round one is Guess Who. Phill's team, you're up first.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Whose faces have we morphed together here?

0:02:34 > 0:02:37Whoa! Is this the portrait in Madonna's attic?

0:02:39 > 0:02:42It looks a little bit Hulk Hogan-y, the whole thing.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45If Hulk Hogan was hosting on Loose Women.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49- I reckon I know who the girl is. - Really? Who is it?

0:02:49 > 0:02:53- I don't even know how to pronounce her name. Is it Kesha?- Who knows?

0:02:53 > 0:02:55And the bottom half?

0:02:55 > 0:02:59The bottom half is kind of crinkly, but with dentures.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02So I'm thinking maybe an Iggy Poppy kind of vibey?

0:03:02 > 0:03:06- Kesha and Iggy Pop?- Yes. - OK, let's find out if you're right.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11Yes, that was right! Iggy Pop and Kesha.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Here's another question for you.

0:03:15 > 0:03:19Which of these two recently claimed they had sex with a ghost?

0:03:19 > 0:03:24- What?!- One of these two has claimed they've had sex with a ghost.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Worst Scooby Doo episode ever!

0:03:26 > 0:03:28What sort of ghost? Traditional ghost?

0:03:28 > 0:03:31Because that's just a sheet with eyeholes.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Presumably the first thing you need to do is get a third hole in it.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36A glory hole!

0:03:38 > 0:03:42Was it a Pac-Man ghost? Was it the pink one? Because he's quite randy.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Stephen, at the end of the day,

0:03:44 > 0:03:48were they having sex with a ghost or having a whack off into a sheet?

0:03:48 > 0:03:51I don't know. Fun with ghoulies.

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Don't you guys do a thing called a ghost wank?

0:03:55 > 0:03:58- We try not to. Not on this show. - We need details.

0:03:58 > 0:04:02- We need details on a ghost wank. - Sway knows this.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06I've never done it. All I know is I heard it in a rap song.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10You've got to, like, sit on your hands until they are numb.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13- What kind of rap song?- It was an artist called Pharoahe Monch.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16It's nice to know that rap is so informative.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19I learned something about rap today. I heard you're a grime artist.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21And I know that means you make music.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24I used to think you did, like, paintings with manure.

0:04:25 > 0:04:29- You're wrong.- I know that now, and I'm learning. And well done.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33- Who was the ghost of? - I don't have that information.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35The headless horseman.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39I think you should be able to have sex with a horse and not go to jail.

0:04:39 > 0:04:43I don't imagine many horses are going to phone the police.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48What did he make you do first?

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Who had sex with a ghost? It's a simple question.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57It's weird. I'm given to understand she's very successful.

0:04:57 > 0:04:58Why does she have jewellery

0:04:58 > 0:05:01made by a 12-year-old boy in a metalwork class?

0:05:01 > 0:05:05"I'm going to make a cross for Kesha. I hope she wears it."

0:05:06 > 0:05:11He just glued two Twiglets together and sprayed 'em silver.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13He already looks like a ghost. So I'm going to guess her.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16She has a song called Supernatural, or something.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19OK, you are going for Kesha. You are correct! Yes!

0:05:20 > 0:05:22It was Kesha.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Yes, Kesha claims that her song Supernatural

0:05:24 > 0:05:26was inspired by having sex with a ghost.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Proof to all you sceptics that don't believe

0:05:29 > 0:05:32that Kesha really will say anything to promote an album.

0:05:32 > 0:05:36Now, it's been a big year for world music, where we have even

0:05:36 > 0:05:39seen Psy get the first ever Korean number one in this country.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42And as it is the Buzzcocks' world music appreciation special,

0:05:42 > 0:05:46I want to make sure we learn about the music of our world, and learn about it...

0:05:46 > 0:05:48"Stephen Mangan style".

0:05:48 > 0:05:51GANGNAM STYLE PLAYS

0:05:51 > 0:05:52# Gangnam style. #

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Right. Shout out if you know the answer.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58I'm going to read you a verse of a national anthem.

0:05:58 > 0:06:03Which country is this from? "Oh, Fatherland..." Easy.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06"'Ere your children defenceless bend their neck beneath their yoke,

0:06:06 > 0:06:09"may your fields be watered with blood.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13"And may your temples, palaces and towers collapse with horrid clamour."

0:06:13 > 0:06:15New Zealand!

0:06:15 > 0:06:18Close. Mordor.

0:06:19 > 0:06:24- Right first letter.- Malta.- Mexico! - Yes! It's Mexico.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Kayvan Novak has the right answer.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Noel, Sway and Katherine, have a look at this

0:06:32 > 0:06:34and tell me who the two celebrities are.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37I can see it straight away.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40But I want to be a team player, so you lot have a go.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43- That's not being a team player! - Is it Iggy Pop again?

0:06:43 > 0:06:49It's someone real pretty, for sure. Is it, like, one of the Obama girls?

0:06:49 > 0:06:54- He's got these two beautiful daughters.- And they look like that?!

0:06:56 > 0:06:59I'm just going to stop them from suffering.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02- It's Kanye West and Beyonce. - Let's see if you're right.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Yes, that's right. It's Kanye West and Beyonce!

0:07:09 > 0:07:12But which of these two celebrities is planning an album

0:07:12 > 0:07:14composed of animal noises?

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Well, after seeing what their children would look like,

0:07:17 > 0:07:21I think these two should make animal noises together. That was a hot photo.

0:07:21 > 0:07:25- Beautiful eyes, beautiful teeth, beautiful hair.- And a beard.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27And a golf jumper!

0:07:27 > 0:07:30I'm a big Kanye West fan, but he's been a bit weird lately.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32- Do you know him?- I've met him once.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36- What was he like?- He was really cool. - Well, that's a boring story!

0:07:37 > 0:07:39I did meet him one time in New York,

0:07:39 > 0:07:42and then I met him again in London, and he was like, "Nice to meet you."

0:07:42 > 0:07:45- He totally didn't know who I was. - What a wanker.

0:07:47 > 0:07:51Threatened by your music? And paintings?

0:07:51 > 0:07:55- Potentially, yeah. - Is it Kar-nye or Ka-nye?

0:07:55 > 0:08:00- It's not Kar-nye, it's not Ka-nye. It's now Kim-ye.- Kim-ye?

0:08:00 > 0:08:05The ladies know. He's teamed up with voluptuous ho-bag Kim Kardashian.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10- Kim-ye?- So it's Kim-ye. Because they're a couple.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12And Beyonce won't hang out with Kim Kardashian at all,

0:08:12 > 0:08:14because she's low rent.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17How do you know this stuff?

0:08:17 > 0:08:20# Because I have nothing else to do. #

0:08:20 > 0:08:24Have you, Sway, ever sampled any animal noises, or anything like that?

0:08:24 > 0:08:27- Not that I know of. - If you were to sample an animal,

0:08:27 > 0:08:29which one do you feel like you would sample?

0:08:29 > 0:08:33Probably something that stands out a bit, like a hyena or something.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36You could teach individual lines of songs to parrots.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38No-one's ever done that!

0:08:38 > 0:08:41And uncover them one parrot at a time until they say the line.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44It might take a while to do a gig, but it'd be an adventure.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46What do you mean, uncover?

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Well, you get a load of parrots in a row,

0:08:48 > 0:08:52- and you teach them Bring The Noise by Public Enemy. - And you cover their cages?

0:08:52 > 0:08:55You uncover the first cage, it goes "Bass! How low can you go?"

0:08:55 > 0:08:56And you cover it up again.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58You uncover the second one, it goes, "death row".

0:08:58 > 0:09:02You can do entire raps with about 30 parrots.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05You know you can get remote controlled parrots?

0:09:05 > 0:09:08- What?!- Gazza had some.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10He apparently had two remote controlled parrots

0:09:10 > 0:09:14in his hotel room, and he said they were his friends, right?

0:09:14 > 0:09:16- Right.- We're laughing now.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Wait until an army of them comes down the street going:

0:09:18 > 0:09:20- GEORDIE ACCENT: - "Put your hands up, all of you!

0:09:20 > 0:09:23"The parrot army is coming to take over."

0:09:24 > 0:09:27- So...- Definitely Kanye. - Kanye, they're going for.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30That is the right answer! Yes.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Quite an informative team. Well done.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Kanye West is reportedly set to make an album composed

0:09:37 > 0:09:40entirely of animal noises, although there are some obstacles,

0:09:40 > 0:09:42not least a lawsuit from Old MacDonald.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46You're probably wondering how Kanye West will make this album.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Well, basically, "Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,

0:09:48 > 0:09:51"a hippo took an apricot, a guava and a mango.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54"He stuck it with the others and he danced a dainty tango.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57"The rhino said, 'I know, we'll call it Um Bongo.'"

0:09:57 > 0:09:59APPLAUSE

0:10:03 > 0:10:04"Stephen Mangan style."

0:10:04 > 0:10:07GANGNAM STYLE PLAYS

0:10:07 > 0:10:11Yes, we know what that sound means. Bands. International bands.

0:10:11 > 0:10:16What is the Japanese rock band Golden Bomber renowned for?

0:10:16 > 0:10:19- PHILL MAKES A BUZZING SOUND - Sushi.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Is the wrong answer.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24You don't have to do the buzzing noise, but I'm enjoying it.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Are they Ninjas? They arrive completely silently,

0:10:26 > 0:10:29entertain a crowd who aren't expecting it and leave?

0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Not far off.- They don't do anything.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33They come on stage and are just silent.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35That's pretty much the right answer.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37They can't play their instruments,

0:10:37 > 0:10:40so they have professional musicians playing,

0:10:40 > 0:10:42and their instruments are just standing there on the stage,

0:10:42 > 0:10:45and they dance around their instruments.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48That's like One Direction.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50- And every other band in this country now.- Pretty much.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53And at the end of that round, Noel's team have two,

0:10:53 > 0:10:55and Phill's team have three.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04Time now for a true international world music favourite.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06It's the intros round.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09And to keep in the world music spirit of things, each team has

0:11:09 > 0:11:13an international instrument to help with the intros if you need them.

0:11:13 > 0:11:17- I have one, too.- What have you got there?- I've got this.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29- That's pretty impressive, Phill. - I'm a bit light-headed now.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37It's like the end of Titanic.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39It looks like you are sexing an armadillo.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41Very good. Right.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45Phill and Michelle, here are yours for Kayvan.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48- OK.- Mm.- Two, three...

0:11:48 > 0:11:49# Dum-dum-der-dum

0:11:49 > 0:11:51# Du-dum-dum-der-dum

0:11:51 > 0:11:53# Du-dum-dum-der-dum

0:11:53 > 0:11:55# Du-dum-dum-der-dum...

0:11:55 > 0:11:59- # Now-now-na-na-na-now - # Der-dum-dum-der-dum

0:11:59 > 0:12:02- # Now-now-na-na-na-now - # Der-dum-dum-der-dum

0:12:02 > 0:12:05# Da-da-da-da Pa-dap-pa-pa-paaa

0:12:05 > 0:12:07# Pap-a-dap-aa... #

0:12:07 > 0:12:09- Let's do the show right here. - # Da-da-da-da

0:12:09 > 0:12:11# Pap-a-da-da

0:12:11 > 0:12:13# Pa-pa they're OK... #

0:12:13 > 0:12:15HORN BLASTS

0:12:15 > 0:12:17# Da-da-da-da

0:12:17 > 0:12:21# They can... and they can't see the light

0:12:21 > 0:12:24# Cos we are living in a material world

0:12:24 > 0:12:26# And you are a material girl. #

0:12:26 > 0:12:30- That's the right answer, of course. It was... - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:12:30 > 0:12:33..Material girl. Here's how it should have sounded.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35MUSIC: "Material Girl" by Madonna

0:12:35 > 0:12:37# Wow-wow-wow-wow

0:12:38 > 0:12:40# Wow-wow-wow-wow

0:12:46 > 0:12:48# Some boys kiss me

0:12:48 > 0:12:50# Some boys hug me... #

0:12:50 > 0:12:51(PHILL) SOME boys!

0:12:51 > 0:12:54HE LAUGHS

0:12:54 > 0:12:56LAUGHTER

0:12:56 > 0:13:00Did you see Madonna's nipple in Lithuania?

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Who HASN'T seen Madonna's nipple in Lithuania?

0:13:03 > 0:13:06It went on holiday and she knew nothing about it.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08It's now on the flag.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Madonna's getting a kicking. I quite like Madonna.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13- (PHILL) Not a fan.- No?

0:13:13 > 0:13:17No. Not a fan. She's just a lucky karaoke singer. So...

0:13:17 > 0:13:18Are you ready for this one?

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Boom!

0:13:20 > 0:13:22# Nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur

0:13:22 > 0:13:25- Boom! - # Nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur

0:13:25 > 0:13:28- Boom! - # Nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur-nur

0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Boom! - # Heh-heh-heh-heh!

0:13:32 > 0:13:35# Boof! Deng-a-deng-a-di-deh Boof! Deng-a-deng-a-di-deh

0:13:35 > 0:13:37# Boof! Deng-a-deng-a-di-deh Boof! Deng-a-deng-a-di-deh

0:13:37 > 0:13:38# Heh-heh-heh-heh! #

0:13:38 > 0:13:39Stop!

0:13:41 > 0:13:44APPLAUSE

0:13:44 > 0:13:47If you don't get that, you're a tool.

0:13:47 > 0:13:48Oh!

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Oh, the gauntlet is down!

0:13:50 > 0:13:53Tool was a clue. Tool was a clue.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56What are you doing giving them clues? Have you not understood this?

0:13:56 > 0:13:59See this side of the table, that's our team.

0:13:59 > 0:14:02- I can't even think of, kind of, a... - Really?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05- ..a bad guess. - OK, well, I'm going to pass it over.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08- It's Prodigy, Firestarter.- Is the right answer. Thank you, Sway.

0:14:08 > 0:14:14It was, of course, Firestarter. Here's how it should have sounded.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17MUSIC: "Firestarter" by The Prodigy

0:14:24 > 0:14:26# I'm the trouble-starter... #

0:14:26 > 0:14:29So, that was The Prodigy with Firestarter.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31The Prodigy's line-up remains to this day

0:14:31 > 0:14:35Liam Howlett, Keith Flint and Max Reality.

0:14:35 > 0:14:39That's not his real name, obviously. I mean, what sort of name is Keith?

0:14:39 > 0:14:42We also heard Madonna, with Material Girl.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Madonna also does a lot of philanthropic work.

0:14:44 > 0:14:48She has dedicated endless hours and millions of dollars

0:14:48 > 0:14:52in her tireless fight against the seven visible signs of ageing.

0:14:54 > 0:14:58Noel and Sway, here are yours for Katherine.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01- I think you're going to be good at this.- You're wrong.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03HE WHISPERS

0:15:03 > 0:15:04Oh, shit.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07- I was so relying on you, Sway. - Do the piano.

0:15:07 > 0:15:11- # Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo... # - Yeah, all right, ready?

0:15:11 > 0:15:15I just had this feeling that I've known you since I was, like, eight. It's so weird.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17When we were playing conkers. OK, right.

0:15:17 > 0:15:21Right, and when he comes round the corner, we'll whack him on the head with a conker,

0:15:21 > 0:15:24nick his conkers, cos he's got way better conkers than us.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27And then we'll get lollies. OK, so...

0:15:27 > 0:15:29One, two, three, go.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33- # Der-ner-ner-ner-ner - Bow-bow-bow-bow

0:15:33 > 0:15:37- # Der-ner-ner-ner-ner - Bow-bow-bow-bow

0:15:37 > 0:15:40# I know you've been hu-urt

0:15:40 > 0:15:41# Der-ner-ner

0:15:41 > 0:15:43# By someone else

0:15:43 > 0:15:44# Bow-bow-bow... #

0:15:44 > 0:15:49I still don't know the song, and we all enjoying it as a unit.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Rihanna's Instagram should be shut down long ago.

0:15:51 > 0:15:55- That is Drake, Take Care. - Is the right answer!

0:15:57 > 0:15:58Here's how it should have sounded.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01MUSIC: "Take Care" by Drake, featuring Rihanna

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Well done. I liked that rendition.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06And you're not even high.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16# I've asked about you... #

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Do you know, I know Drake. Do you know Drake?

0:16:18 > 0:16:21- No, I don't, actually. - Is Drake Canadian?- Yes.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24- He threw a bottle at Chris Brown, apparently.- Really?

0:16:24 > 0:16:27- Why, cos Chris Brown hit Rihanna? - Because they all fight over Rihanna.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30- Yeah, but he fights WITH Rihanna, doesn't he?- Not Drake.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32What does Drake do - peck her?

0:16:35 > 0:16:38Yes, well, that was Sir Francis Drake there with Take Care.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Next one, please.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44Ah, I'm just going to let you do them, Sway, you know I am.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47My shell is standing by, if you need any help. It's quite appropriate.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50We should get this out, shouldn't we?

0:16:50 > 0:16:53- It's not going to help, but it looks cool.- Anyone want a coffee?

0:16:53 > 0:16:54(PHILL) Blood and sand!

0:16:54 > 0:16:56- Wow.- Cappuccino, anyone?

0:16:58 > 0:17:01One, two, three, go...

0:17:01 > 0:17:04- # Nur-nur-nur - Ba-rrring

0:17:04 > 0:17:06# Ban-ban-bwarrrrr

0:17:06 > 0:17:07# Nur-nur-nur

0:17:07 > 0:17:08# Ba-rrring

0:17:08 > 0:17:11# Ban-ban-bwarrrrr

0:17:11 > 0:17:14- # Nur-nur-nur - Ban-ban-bwarrrrr

0:17:14 > 0:17:16SHELL BLASTS A LOW NOTE

0:17:16 > 0:17:19- # Nur-nur-nur - Ban-ban-bwarrrrr

0:17:19 > 0:17:22HORN BLASTS

0:17:22 > 0:17:24- # Nur-nur-nur - Ban-ban-bwarrrrr. #

0:17:24 > 0:17:26HORN BLASTS

0:17:30 > 0:17:33LAUGHTER

0:17:33 > 0:17:34You lot are ruining it.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37- Oh, sorry!- We're ruining it, apparently.- We're ruining it.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40Oh, yeah - WE'RE ruining it(!)

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Wait a minute, is this a sick joke, or is it a song?

0:17:42 > 0:17:45It's a song but, to be honest, we're just doing it really badly.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48I don't think it's your cup of tea. I don't think you'll get it.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52- How do you know what I like?- You just spent ages talking about it.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Is it from here?- What, from Earth?

0:17:56 > 0:17:57Let's do it one more time.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00- Don't use that, though.- All right. I'll put it down.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Spoilsport.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06- I feel the panpipe would help this one, wouldn't it?- I think it might.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09AIR BLOWS THROUGH WITH NO SOUND

0:18:09 > 0:18:12Grime artists and panpipes never really work together.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16- Can you act at it, please, Mr Mangan? - All right, I'll do facial expressions that represent

0:18:16 > 0:18:17- the song title.- OK.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19One, two, three, go.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22- # Nur-nur-nur - Ban-ban-bwarrrrr

0:18:24 > 0:18:27- # Nur-nur-nur - Ban-ban-bwarrrrr

0:18:27 > 0:18:32# Boom-boom-boom Boom-boom. #

0:18:32 > 0:18:33Like, Sour Daily Mail?

0:18:33 > 0:18:35So close.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37- Sour...- I'm going to have to pass it over.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40- No! Sour... - (PHILL) Sour Times.

0:18:40 > 0:18:41Sour Times by Portishead.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43I said Sour Time!

0:18:43 > 0:18:45Here's how it should have sounded.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49MUSIC: "Sour Times" by Portishead

0:18:52 > 0:18:55LAUGHTER

0:18:55 > 0:19:00So that was Portishead with the very chirpy Sour Times.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03Portishead played shows in Spain, France and Italy during

0:19:03 > 0:19:05a short trek around Europe this summer.

0:19:05 > 0:19:06- COUGHS:- Cruise ship.

0:19:09 > 0:19:14We also heard Drake featuring Rihanna, with Take Care.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Rihanna is currently suing a magazine in France after

0:19:16 > 0:19:20they published humiliating long-lens paparazzi photos of her

0:19:20 > 0:19:21with some clothes on.

0:19:23 > 0:19:24VOICEOVER: 'Stephen Mangan style.'

0:19:24 > 0:19:27MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy

0:19:27 > 0:19:29# Gangnam style.... #

0:19:29 > 0:19:33OK, for an international bonus point, we have one category left.

0:19:33 > 0:19:34Songs.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37The Drive-By Truckers are an alternative country band

0:19:37 > 0:19:40from Alabama, but which word have we left out from the title

0:19:40 > 0:19:42of their smash-hit song?

0:19:42 > 0:19:45The President's WHAT is missing?

0:19:45 > 0:19:48- Cat.- The President's Cat. I wish it was that.

0:19:48 > 0:19:49SOUTHERN DRAWL: Dick And Balls.

0:19:49 > 0:19:53The President's "Dick And Baawls"?

0:19:53 > 0:19:55- That's very close.- Willy?

0:19:55 > 0:19:57Willy is pretty much the right answer.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00- The President's PENIS Is Missing. - (SWAY) Oh, wow.

0:20:01 > 0:20:05Excuse me. Excuse me,

0:20:05 > 0:20:08but there is no such thing as a penis in Alabama.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11That is dick and baawls, and I feel like I said that from the jump.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16At the end of that round, Phil's team have four

0:20:16 > 0:20:17and Noel's team have six.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20APPLAUSE

0:20:23 > 0:20:26Round Three is the identity parade.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Phil's team, how about some early '80s rhythm and groove?

0:20:29 > 0:20:34For the audience only, here is Alton Edwards.

0:20:34 > 0:20:35# I

0:20:35 > 0:20:39# Wanna spend some time with you

0:20:39 > 0:20:40# I just wanna

0:20:40 > 0:20:44# Be with you

0:20:44 > 0:20:46# All the while

0:20:46 > 0:20:49# I just wanna

0:20:49 > 0:20:51# I

0:20:51 > 0:20:54# Wanna spend some time with you... #

0:20:54 > 0:20:57That was Alton Edwards, with I Just Wanna,

0:20:57 > 0:21:00but which of our line-up is Alton Edwards?

0:21:00 > 0:21:02Is it number one, Alton Edwards,

0:21:02 > 0:21:04number two, Alton Towers,

0:21:06 > 0:21:08number three, Alton-ative lifestyle,

0:21:08 > 0:21:11number four, Alton know-better,

0:21:11 > 0:21:15or number five, Alton-nates between men and women?

0:21:15 > 0:21:17LAUGHTER

0:21:17 > 0:21:21- You're talking early '80s.- Early '80s.- So look at the young men...

0:21:21 > 0:21:23I think one and three are too young.

0:21:23 > 0:21:27I think one could potentially be a little bit older than you think.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29You reckon?

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Three's got a swagger. Look at him. There you go.

0:21:31 > 0:21:37Three has got a swagger! He's just moved. I think four looks youngest.

0:21:37 > 0:21:41Four is cock of the walk now.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44Four's thinking, "Suck on that, three and one!"

0:21:45 > 0:21:49- Let's go with four, then. - You think four?- Let's go with four.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52- OK, let's give four a little test. - All right, four.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55Well, let's find out. Will the real Alton Edwards please step forward?

0:21:57 > 0:21:58Oh!

0:21:58 > 0:22:01APPLAUSE

0:22:02 > 0:22:05With an album available on the internet, Alton Edwards,

0:22:05 > 0:22:07ladies and gentlemen!

0:22:07 > 0:22:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Now, Noel, Sway and Katherine,

0:22:13 > 0:22:16how about some turn-of-the-century underground pop?

0:22:16 > 0:22:19Not underground in a cool, underground music scene way.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22I mean more a boy band named after the Underground Tube system in London kind of way.

0:22:22 > 0:22:25Here for the audience only, are Northern Line.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27# What do I have to do

0:22:27 > 0:22:28# To get closer to you?

0:22:28 > 0:22:33# Cos I would do anything to make you mine

0:22:33 > 0:22:36# Near or far Just to be where you are

0:22:36 > 0:22:38# Tell me who would have thought

0:22:38 > 0:22:42# I'd find love on the Northern Line... #

0:22:42 > 0:22:44That was Northern Line with Love On The Northern Line,

0:22:44 > 0:22:49but which of our line-up is boy band member Dan Corsi?

0:22:49 > 0:22:52Is it number one, Dan Corsi,

0:22:52 > 0:22:54number two, main Corsi,

0:22:54 > 0:22:57number three, horses for Corsi,

0:22:57 > 0:23:00number four - Cor, see?

0:23:00 > 0:23:04Or number five, Corsi does - look at him!

0:23:06 > 0:23:09Am I allowed to say I already know who it is already even though

0:23:09 > 0:23:11it's not my turn to answer?

0:23:11 > 0:23:12Of Corsi.

0:23:12 > 0:23:16I have a feeling I may have got off with the real Dan Corsi

0:23:16 > 0:23:19years and years and years ago.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21- Whereabouts in the country are you from?- I'm from Newcastle.

0:23:21 > 0:23:24Newcastle. So the odds of you copping off with someone while drunk

0:23:24 > 0:23:27are...HIGH!

0:23:27 > 0:23:30Which one of you melted under the Heaton?

0:23:31 > 0:23:34Number one had a bit of a swagger when he came in.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Number two, pretty handsome,

0:23:36 > 0:23:39in a sort of Rob-Lowe-gone-wrong way.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44Number three obviously left his Spitfire outside.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49Number four looks a bit shifty. Number two's dead inside.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53- Number one came in... - I think it's number four.- Do you?

0:23:53 > 0:23:54He's got an animal charm.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57- He got a little nervous when she started speaking.- Oh, really?

0:23:57 > 0:24:00Don't tell me I got off with more than one of them, then!

0:24:00 > 0:24:02Apparently you got off with all of them.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04Did you get all the way off?

0:24:04 > 0:24:06- Noooo. - Oh!

0:24:06 > 0:24:09We're talking just a really sweet, innocent kiss.

0:24:09 > 0:24:10- (NOEL) Really?- Yeah.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13They could all have been in a boy band. It's so hard.

0:24:13 > 0:24:18I really like your music. Like, # Find love on the Northern Line... #

0:24:18 > 0:24:20She's from Canada.

0:24:20 > 0:24:26- What's your favourite boy band? - One Direction! Obviously. But...

0:24:26 > 0:24:29- Who do you like out of One Direction?- Zane.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31- Zane, good choice.- Because he's got shark eyes. He's damaged.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34- He's got shark eyes and he's damaged?- Yes.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36- He'd like to be damaged again.- Wow.

0:24:36 > 0:24:40Would you like to take him round the back of the aquarium, by the filters?

0:24:40 > 0:24:42You look a little bit like a mermaid.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44- Is that how you lure them in? - That's nice of you to say.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47But I have a vagina, unfortunately.

0:24:47 > 0:24:52The guy who is the real Dan hasn't actually changed that much considering it was 11 years ago.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54- Still looking good, Dan! - Still looking good.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Still looking hot, my friend!

0:24:56 > 0:24:57OK, which one is it?

0:24:57 > 0:25:00- Shall we do four?- Yeah, what have we got to lose?

0:25:00 > 0:25:03OK, we'll go number four. I'll go with Sway.

0:25:03 > 0:25:08Well, let's find out. Will the real Dan Corsi please step forward?

0:25:08 > 0:25:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yeah! Yeah!

0:25:14 > 0:25:19Now DJing in Camden, Dan Corsi, ladies and gentlemen.

0:25:19 > 0:25:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:23 > 0:25:26At the end of that round, Phill's team has four

0:25:26 > 0:25:28and Noel's team has six.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32APPLAUSE

0:25:32 > 0:25:36So we end our world music appreciation special with a world music next lines.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39Noel's team, you're in the lead, so you go first.

0:25:39 > 0:25:42Your time starts...now.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45The Vengabus is coming and everybody's jumping...

0:25:46 > 0:25:49# So come and join the party Come on and move your body

0:25:49 > 0:25:53# Vengabus is coming And everybody's jumping

0:25:53 > 0:25:56# New York to San Francisco The intercity disco... #

0:25:56 > 0:25:59Is the right answer. Yes, Vengaboys.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01Yeah.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04An astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus...

0:26:04 > 0:26:06The President's missing his penis?

0:26:06 > 0:26:09- Has anyone seen the president's penis, yes!- Yeah!

0:26:09 > 0:26:11Drive-By Truckers.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Lucky that my breasts are small and humble...

0:26:13 > 0:26:16So you don't confuse them with mountains. That one.

0:26:16 > 0:26:20So right. So right it's wrong. Colombia.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23- O Canada... - Our home and native land.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25- The Canadian national anthem.- Wow.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE

0:26:29 > 0:26:33- Right. So, Phill's team, you need five points to win.- Uh-huh.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36Your time starts...now.

0:26:36 > 0:26:40All the things she said, all the things she said...

0:26:38 > 0:26:40# All the things she said

0:26:40 > 0:26:42# All the things she did All the things she did

0:26:42 > 0:26:43# Der-der-der-der-der

0:26:43 > 0:26:45# Running through my head Running through my head... #

0:26:45 > 0:26:48Yes, t.A.T.u., she's Russian, good, yes.

0:26:48 > 0:26:53Watch me wallabies feed, mate, watch me wallabies feed...

0:26:52 > 0:26:53# Watch me wallabies, feed, mate

0:26:53 > 0:26:56# Watch me wallabies feed... #

0:26:56 > 0:26:59(AS ROLF HARRIS) And I managed to scramble out of the water and get to the bank

0:26:59 > 0:27:02and you can bet my parents have me taking swimming lessons

0:27:02 > 0:27:04as soon as they possibly can.

0:27:06 > 0:27:10It's, "Eh, they're are a dangerous breed, mate, so watch me wallabies feed.

0:27:10 > 0:27:16"When love takes over, yeah..."

0:27:13 > 0:27:16# When love takes over, ye-e-eah... #

0:27:17 > 0:27:19LAUGHTER

0:27:19 > 0:27:22# No one can...survive, or deny? #

0:27:22 > 0:27:26You know you can't deny. I'll give you that. David Guetta, When Love Takes Over. He's French.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29Yes, I've been broken-hearted...

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Fooled since the day we started.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Blue since the day we parted. Yes, ABBA, Swedish.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33Where did you come from, where did you go?

0:27:33 > 0:27:34# Where did you come from

0:27:34 > 0:27:35# Where did you go?

0:27:35 > 0:27:38# Where did you come from Cotton Eye Joe? #

0:27:38 > 0:27:39Yes, Rednex. They're Swedish. Good.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42- END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE - Woo-hoo-hoo!

0:27:44 > 0:27:47So the final scores are... Phill's team have eight,

0:27:47 > 0:27:50but Noel's team are winners, with nine!

0:27:50 > 0:27:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:57 > 0:28:00So that is it. Thank you to Phill, Michelle Heaton, Kayvan Novak,

0:28:00 > 0:28:02Noel, Sway and Katherine Ryan.

0:28:02 > 0:28:05This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks. I've been Stephen Mangan.

0:28:05 > 0:28:08And, as you enjoy the credits, we're going to end the show

0:28:08 > 0:28:10like an international '70s cop drama,

0:28:10 > 0:28:12with a freeze under the final mu...

0:28:14 > 0:28:17APPLAUSE

0:28:40 > 0:28:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:46 > 0:28:48Join us next week, when your host will definitely be

0:28:48 > 0:28:49one of the following Lizas.

0:28:49 > 0:28:50Will it be...