0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Earlier this year, a story appeared on the worldwide Internet, a claim
0:00:08 > 0:00:11by this unnamed man, that he had attended a recording of the popular
0:00:11 > 0:00:13music quiz, Never Mind The Buzzcocks. An episode that the BBC
0:00:13 > 0:00:17and the programme makers would later deny had ever taken place.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Within hours, the story was removed from the Internet,
0:00:20 > 0:00:23and all trace of the unnamed man disappeared.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25And the story may have ended there,
0:00:25 > 0:00:29had it not been for this piece of muffled audio.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31'Ladies and gentlemen,
0:00:31 > 0:00:35'welcome to episode 14 of series 27 of Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
0:00:35 > 0:00:41'Please welcome your host for this, The Legends Of Music Special, it's...
0:00:41 > 0:00:45AUDIO DISTORTS AND REWINDS
0:00:45 > 0:00:49At this point, the audio becomes inaudible.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52You can clearly hear them say, series 27, Buzzcocks,
0:00:52 > 0:00:55episode 14, Legends Of Music Special,
0:00:55 > 0:00:58but then, according to the BBC, it never happened.
0:00:58 > 0:01:04There WAS no episode 14, Legends of music special. But did YOU see it?
0:01:04 > 0:01:06When news of the recording came to light,
0:01:06 > 0:01:09a flurry of celebrities quickly came forward to deny
0:01:09 > 0:01:13they were the host of the missing 14th episode.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16But does the missing episode in fact exist?
0:01:16 > 0:01:18And if so, why are there no traces of it?
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Why does nobody recall actually making it?
0:01:21 > 0:01:24And how high does this wall of secrecy go?
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Fielding, Jupitus? In the next half-hour,
0:01:27 > 0:01:29we'll take you through a journalistic
0:01:29 > 0:01:33journey of documentary discovery, looking through the evidence of
0:01:33 > 0:01:38series 27, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, in the hunt for the missing episode.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56This series of Buzzcocks began much like any other. A mildly amusing
0:01:56 > 0:01:59mix of celebrity, music and attempted humour.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:02 > 0:02:07Hello and welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks. I' Michael Bolton.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:11 > 0:02:15Now, before we start, I may not have my trademark hair any more,
0:02:15 > 0:02:17but don't worry, ladies, tonight,
0:02:17 > 0:02:22I promise I will still be employing both of my trademark moves.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23The smouldering Jesus.
0:02:23 > 0:02:28# Tell me how I supposed to live without you? #
0:02:28 > 0:02:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:33 > 0:02:37And, of course, the pulling down on a rusty Victorian toilet chain.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42# How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44# How can we start over...? #
0:02:44 > 0:02:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:46 > 0:02:49OK.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53# My heart won't beat again Won't beat again. #
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Well, as you can see,
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Aston Merrygold from JLS isn't actually here this evening.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I'll come clean with you, we got a call from his agent
0:03:00 > 0:03:05about two hours ago to inform us Aston has been taken ill, so... Aww.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08A little bit selfish.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10The production team was left in a bit of a pickle
0:03:10 > 0:03:12and have been desperately trying to find a replacement.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14They've called literally everyone
0:03:14 > 0:03:17that has even the remotest link to music, comedians, presenters,
0:03:17 > 0:03:20Sugababes, and nothing, nothing came back.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23They then said, Jack, do you know anyone?
0:03:23 > 0:03:29I said, yes, I know the man that can save the day. He's a true champion.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33Well, not exactly a champion, but he won a bronze medal in the
0:03:33 > 0:03:364x400 metre relay in 1992 Barcelona Olympic Games,
0:03:36 > 0:03:41a man who couldn't be better suited to a contemporary pop quiz!
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Ladies and gentlemen, it is Kriss Akabusi!
0:03:44 > 0:03:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:45 > 0:03:50# We are the champions, my friends
0:03:52 > 0:03:55# And we'll keep on fighting till the end. #
0:03:55 > 0:03:58You don't like people using the word dench as well?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00- I do like it. - Well not according to this.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03There's a guy called Panjabi MC who tries to use the word to
0:04:03 > 0:04:04- promote a club.- Oh, yes.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07This, for me is one of the greatest Twitter spats ever seen.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Do you remember what you said to him?- Oh, gosh.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Well, let me remind you. The reason why I like this is just
0:04:12 > 0:04:15because the hash tag you use at the end
0:04:15 > 0:04:18links in no way to the rest of what you said. He said...
0:04:24 > 0:04:25And here's the hash tag.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Hast tag fannys! I just...
0:04:28 > 0:04:33- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE - I love it.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37- Alice Levine, hello.- Hello! - So you're presenter?- Sure, yeah.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Have you met Tori Amos?- Oh, no.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Ah. You look a lot like her.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- Right, well, maybe that's why we've never met.- Because you're her.
0:04:46 > 0:04:51- Because I am her. - Have you met Beyonce?- No.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54- Have you met Elizabeth Taylor?- No.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58- Have you met Princess Diana?- No.
0:04:58 > 0:05:04- What about, like, her ghost? Have you met Kate Middleton?- No.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- What about the new one? George?- The bambino?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:05:07 > 0:05:12- You've met him?- No, sorry, I misheard. No, I haven't. Sorry.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Lesbians, it's not widely known this, no-one likes to say it.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- Are you going to?- I'm going to say it.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21There's not a lot that lesbians can do with each other.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25That's why they've built that thing underneath Switzerland,
0:05:25 > 0:05:31so they can fire two lesbians so fast that they can finally fuse together.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Because up to this point, they have had to go on the Circle Line
0:05:34 > 0:05:35on opposite trains.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Because as you know, the Circle Line doesn't go in a circle, does it?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42It goes round in like a slingshot down to Hammersmith,
0:05:42 > 0:05:46- so what's happening is the lesbians are never connecting.- Yeah.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49The only time there is any chance of lesbians connecting is at
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Edgware Road.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00What's the getting up thing? I don't get up that much.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Basically, you have to sit and kind of concentrate,
0:06:02 > 0:06:04because you have to do it all at once.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Because when you get up ahead of each other...
0:06:07 > 0:06:11- So, if we say, three, two, one, then we're all going to get up.- OK.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Right, on one though, yeah?
0:06:12 > 0:06:16So, like three, key change is coming, two, one, and we all...
0:06:17 > 0:06:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:26 > 0:06:28OK, JL yes or JL no.
0:06:28 > 0:06:33Aston is contractually, I'm going to have to say that one slowly.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- I am contractually what? - Contractually obliged...
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Let me do that shit. Aston is, concract...
0:06:40 > 0:06:43LAUGHTER
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Aston is concract... concract...
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Aston has been told he has to fucking backflip every time...!
0:06:51 > 0:06:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Let's play the lightning Bolton round!
0:07:04 > 0:07:08- True or false?- False. LAUGHTER
0:07:08 > 0:07:12The slogan maybe it's Maybelline was originally going to be maybe
0:07:12 > 0:07:14it's Michael Bolton.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19But then I cut my hair. True or false?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21# Maybe it's Michael Bolton. #
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Sound convincing?
0:07:23 > 0:07:24# Maybe it's Michael Bolton. #
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Oh, yeah!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28CHEERING
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Pray silence for Alfie Boe with the Squirrel Ate The Cake.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47# The squirrels
0:07:47 > 0:07:53- # They ate my cake!- #
0:07:53 > 0:07:57APPLAUSE
0:07:59 > 0:08:03P Diddy may have won three Grammys, be the richest figure in hip-hop
0:08:03 > 0:08:05and have a vast business empire. But come back to me
0:08:05 > 0:08:08when you've got your own show on two British TV channels -
0:08:08 > 0:08:11ITV2 and ITV2 plus 1.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Action!
0:08:20 > 0:08:23BASSLINE PLAYS
0:08:30 > 0:08:32And cut!
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Sharon recently threatened to divorce Ozzy...
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Argh!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39- Get out of the set!- No, Jack!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Kris, come and do the joke for me.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Oh, my word. OK.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51(Sharon recently threatened to divorce Aussie.)
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Sharon recently threatened to divorce Aussie.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56(As it was revealed he was back on the drink and drugs.)
0:08:56 > 0:08:58(As it was revealed he was back on the drink and drugs.)
0:08:58 > 0:09:00(Luckily, they've moved on.)
0:09:00 > 0:09:02But luckily they've moved on.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- (And Sharon's surgeon...) - And Sharon's surgeon...
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- (..has put a brave face on her.) - ..has put a brave face on her.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Oh!
0:09:16 > 0:09:19But soon, the series was clouded in controversy as the story
0:09:19 > 0:09:22from the unnamed man was shared between literally
0:09:22 > 0:09:25tens of Buzzcocks fans on their computers.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28I'm here at the BBC, who are refusing to take part in this programme
0:09:28 > 0:09:31but they have issued this statement.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42But if that is indeed the case, how do they explain this?
0:09:42 > 0:09:46A torn fragment from what appears to be a script of some sort.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Quite clearly, you can see
0:09:48 > 0:09:51in the top right-hand corner "RX," or recording,
0:09:51 > 0:09:54"14 - TLMS."
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Is this a torn fragment from a Buzzcocks script
0:09:57 > 0:10:02and could TLMS stand for the Legends of Music Special?
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Even more intriguing, on the same page is a reference
0:10:06 > 0:10:11to Tub Thumping by Chumbawamba, a song that never appeared in series 27.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16Could this be more evidence of a missing episode 14?
0:10:16 > 0:10:20And could Tub Thumping have featured in the iconic Intros Round
0:10:20 > 0:10:22of the missing episode?
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Time now for the Intros Round. Hand over card.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29That is the kind of hosting I like!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31APPLAUSE
0:10:32 > 0:10:35One, two, three, four...
0:10:35 > 0:10:40# Djah djah. Woo-ooo!
0:10:40 > 0:10:44# Djah, djah! Woo-ooo!
0:10:44 > 0:10:49# Bwow, bwow! Wah-wah!
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Bond.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Pretend I'm a man.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58# Du du du du du du du du
0:10:58 > 0:10:59# Du du du du du
0:10:59 > 0:11:01# Du du du du du du du du du...
0:11:01 > 0:11:03It's not Miley Cyrus.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04# Du du du du du du du du
0:11:04 > 0:11:05# Du du du du
0:11:05 > 0:11:08# Du du du du du du du du... #
0:11:08 > 0:11:13I have never felt more uncomfortable in a television studio in my life.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14What are they doing?
0:11:14 > 0:11:17You just have to go... # Dum dum dum dum dum...
0:11:17 > 0:11:18# Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum...
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Keep doing that.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22# Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum...
0:11:22 > 0:11:25# Da da da da
0:11:25 > 0:11:27# Da na
0:11:27 > 0:11:29# Da da da da da
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Quick, one...
0:11:31 > 0:11:33# Dum dum dum dum...
0:11:36 > 0:11:38# Dum da da da da da
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Just... # Dum dum dum dum...
0:11:41 > 0:11:43We can do it, for the kids!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45# Dum dum dum dum dum dum...
0:11:45 > 0:11:47# Da da da da da da
0:11:47 > 0:11:49# Dum dum dum dum dum dum...
0:11:49 > 0:11:51# Flash, ah!
0:11:51 > 0:11:53# He served every universe
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Gordon's alive!
0:11:55 > 0:11:58I just managed to get him set.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01Stop confusing the Ryder!
0:12:01 > 0:12:03# Dum dum dum...
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Not now. We're done!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12# Ba da dum, wah! Ba da dum, wah!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15# Ba da dum, wah! Ba da dum, wah!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18# Ba da dum, wah! Ba da dum, wah!
0:12:18 > 0:12:20# Da da da da da da da da! #
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Oh!
0:12:22 > 0:12:24APPLAUSE
0:12:24 > 0:12:28- This is the worst round ever. - I know. It's so hard!
0:12:28 > 0:12:31You just keep doing the same thing again and again.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35If I don't know it the first time, if you do it 36 times, I'm not going
0:12:35 > 0:12:38to suddenly go, "Oh! I tell you what this is, it's some Snoop song."
0:12:38 > 0:12:42- It's not Snoop! - I know it's not Snoop!!
0:12:42 > 0:12:44LAUGHTER
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Oh, God. It's Too Much Lube by Anal Danger.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:12:54 > 0:12:56It's not Anal Danger.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Oh, who had money on Bolton saying that tonight?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I want to hear him singing it.
0:13:05 > 0:13:11# It's not anal danger # It's anal danger... #
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Yeah!
0:13:18 > 0:13:22ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF PLAYS
0:13:37 > 0:13:40APPLAUSE
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Great.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Excellent.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00- Keep it going! - And moving on.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09AUDIENCE CLAPS IN TIME
0:14:13 > 0:14:16# Da da da da da...
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Give me a beat. Give me a beat.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23THEY BEATBOX
0:14:27 > 0:14:29# I wake up, every day is a daydream
0:14:29 > 0:14:31# Everything in my life ain't what it seems
0:14:31 > 0:14:33# I wake up just to go back to sleep, I act real shallow
0:14:33 > 0:14:36# But I'm in too deep, and all I care about is sex and violence
0:14:36 > 0:14:38# A heavy bass line is my kind of silence
0:14:38 > 0:14:39# Everybody says that I gotta get a grip
0:14:39 > 0:14:41# But I let sanity give me the slip. #
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
0:14:43 > 0:14:44# Bonkers! #
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Thank you. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. It was Kaiser Chefs.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53Kaiser...
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Kaiser Chefs.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04# Everyday I love you less and less
0:15:04 > 0:15:06# And I love my chopping board!
0:15:08 > 0:15:09# Ooh-ooh!#
0:15:11 > 0:15:16# What's that coming over the hill? It is a blender! It is a blender! #
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Chris Martin is said to be worried that Gwyneth Paltrow is
0:15:22 > 0:15:24starting to annoy people.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Oh, Chris! That ship has sailed, my friend.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29In fact, not only has it sailed, it's arrived at port,
0:15:29 > 0:15:32docked and allowed its passengers off for a few hours, sightseeing,
0:15:32 > 0:15:36on Aloof, Comes Across As A Bit Of A Bitch In Every Interview Island.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Little help from Kenny Loggins with
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Playing With The Boys from the film Top Gun.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48The song features in the volleyball scene between Maverick
0:15:48 > 0:15:52and Goose, recently voted the gayest scene in film history. What?
0:15:52 > 0:15:56That was gayer than the sauna scene in Hot Cock And Two Smoking Towels?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Great film, that.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01We recently had a Twitter spat with Wiley.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Basically, Wiley reacted angrily to a harmless joke about his single
0:16:04 > 0:16:07and it went all a bit... Bit out of hand.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Anyway, it's probably a good idea, while we have this platform,
0:16:09 > 0:16:11speaking to the entire nation,
0:16:11 > 0:16:14to take the opportunity to apologise wholeheartedly to Wiley.
0:16:14 > 0:16:19For any offence caused to him, we really didn't mean to upset you.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21I'm joking. Of course I'm joking. But you are insane.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Now, I remember my first threesome in the music biz.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28And if the Pet Shop Boys are watching...
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I'm going to, er, do that joke for ITV2.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Threesome! Aargh!
0:16:46 > 0:16:48During the making of this programme,
0:16:48 > 0:16:51I was delighted to be contacted by an attractive woman,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Dannae, who claims to have been booked for the show's famous
0:16:54 > 0:16:58ID Parade, as what they call a nonperson, a wrong answer,
0:16:58 > 0:17:02on the night of the reported missing 14th episode.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Dannae thinks she has the answer to why the episode, which she
0:17:05 > 0:17:08says does exist, so mysteriously went missing.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12And most incredible of all, the reason was that the Legends Of
0:17:12 > 0:17:16Music special was hosted by someone the world had long thought was dead.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20It was definitely him. It was Elvis Presley.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Maybe he's trying to cover up coming back from the dead,
0:17:22 > 0:17:26and that's why everyone's trying to hide it. But it was definitely him.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29I was close to him. I even filmed him on my phone.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Was this the answer?
0:17:31 > 0:17:35Was this grainy footage the proof we were looking for, that there
0:17:35 > 0:17:39was, indeed, a missing episode of the show, episode 14,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42the Legends Of Music special?
0:17:42 > 0:17:43And more than that, that the
0:17:43 > 0:17:46King himself had returned from the dead to host the show.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48But on closer inspection,
0:17:48 > 0:17:50it was revealed that this was just badly shot phone
0:17:50 > 0:17:53footage from episode six, Eamonn Holmes, who, for some strange
0:17:53 > 0:17:57reason, had come dressed as Elvis for the whole programme.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00It confused everybody, nobody more so than Dannae, it seemed.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Ain't No Doubt, Jimmy Nail,
0:18:02 > 0:18:07but which of our line-up is vocalist Sylvia Mason-James?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Number five looks really pissed off.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15- So I don't think it's her.- Is that not... That's sexy, isn't it?
0:18:15 > 0:18:20- Yes, it is. Not for me, but I think...- What? Are you mental?
0:18:20 > 0:18:21No, just gay, so...
0:18:29 > 0:18:33Which one of our line-up is Soul II Soul legend Caron Wheeler?
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Is it number one, Back To Life?
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Number two, Back To Front?
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Number three, Back To The Future?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Number four, Back From The Dead?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Or number five, Back Passage?
0:18:59 > 0:19:04- I say number two.- You're discounting number five, are you?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I don't know about the name Back Passage. It puts me off, always.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Perhaps if this was a special occasion, I might consider it.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Perhaps.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17I like number five.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Number five actually looks like you could go out
0:19:25 > 0:19:28and have a proper good time. Like, you could proper go out on the town.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Where?! Victorian London?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Sean said he thought "they might put one of the Mondays on.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38"I probably wouldn't recognise him."
0:19:42 > 0:19:47Most magnificent cheekbones I've ever seen on a human being in my life.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Looks like a mixture of The Scream and Ian Brown.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Number four's lovely.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Looks like he should be on, like, a strong mustard tin.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08"Madam, try my mustard." Doesn't it?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Number four looks like a slightly melted Ian Wright.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Tussauds left his waxwork out the back.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21Four looks all sad, like he's had a sad life.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27And then, just once, at work, he just said something.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31He didn't mean it, but he made a racist comment. It was a joke.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32It was a joke.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37But it was misinterpreted, and then he had to go to a tribunal.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39He lost his job.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I was a big fan of Whigfield.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46I knew all the dance moves to it. I danced at my school disco.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Show us. Come on!
0:20:55 > 0:21:01MUSIC: "Saturday Night" by Whigfield
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Oh, I wish I were dead!
0:21:06 > 0:21:11Look, I can't fully remember all the moves to it. Was it like that?
0:21:11 > 0:21:19MUSIC: "Saturday Night" by Whigfield
0:21:41 > 0:21:44So, was the mystery of the missing episode
0:21:44 > 0:21:45The Legends of Music Special
0:21:45 > 0:21:48nothing more than an elaborate hoax,
0:21:48 > 0:21:51possibly made up by the Buzzcocks team themselves?
0:21:51 > 0:21:55A shoddy last-minute idea to package up the best bits of the series?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58The programme you're watching right now?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00After all, they're no strangers to controversy.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02I'm Krishnan Guru-Murthy.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06I hurt my lower lumbar. You know we'll never get far.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Ride around in a stolen police car, following criminals...
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- You all right with that? - Totally all right with that.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- You look so upset, man. - No, no, I'm not.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15I just thought you guys would do something
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- different for a change.- Ooh!
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Not give me my own lyrics over and over.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23It's part of the game, Huey!
0:22:23 > 0:22:24People sit on the show
0:22:24 > 0:22:26and the way you tie in the fact is it's kind of funny.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29"Oh, look, it's your own lyrics," you forget them...
0:22:29 > 0:22:31- I've been on the show, nine times. - Shall I make it up, then?
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Yeah, just pick some shit.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36Pick some shit? Get ready for the next episode.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Snoop Dogg...- What's the next line?
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Cos we ain't got no lovers...
0:22:42 > 0:22:46- No.- Oh, Lieutenant, I ain't... Pussy put my...
0:22:46 > 0:22:48LAUGHTER
0:22:48 > 0:22:50No. Baby, I can make you feel good.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52But then someone goes # I can make you feel good... #
0:22:52 > 0:22:54then someone goes # I can make you feel good... #
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Technically, that's the line afterwards.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- Backing vocals aren't included. - I did not know the rules!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Now you know the rules, answer the question.
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Someone should have told me...
0:23:02 > 0:23:05OK, it's "Let me lay this good love on ya" -
0:23:05 > 0:23:07I Can Make You Feel Good by Kavana.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Who was that?!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12APPLAUSE
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Who's that?
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Are you all right? Why are you so annoyed about the next line game?
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- Let's go on with this. - So angry about it.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21You know you've just got to sing the next line, yeah?
0:23:21 > 0:23:23We're not trying to piss you...
0:23:23 > 0:23:25No, no, you're not upsetting me. It's fine.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27OK, Kavana, man. That's some dangerous music.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29LAUGHTER
0:23:29 > 0:23:31I just don't roll like a punk, I'm sorry.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Huey, it's the game, bro!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I say a line, you sing the other line!
0:23:35 > 0:23:36It was just there on the show.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39You don't have to smash a mug in my hair!
0:23:39 > 0:23:41LAUGHTER
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Right, let's carry on. You're upset, I know. We're sorry.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- Next time will be... - You ain't seen me upset.- I know.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48"You don't want to see me when I'm angry."
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Phill's team, you can go first and your time starts now!
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Honey, bring it close to my?
0:23:54 > 0:23:55- Body?- No.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57It's "Honey bring it close to my lips,"
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Professional Widow, by Tori Amos.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01You bet your life it is...
0:24:01 > 0:24:03# You bet your life... #
0:24:03 > 0:24:05No, it's "Oh, you bet your life" -
0:24:05 > 0:24:08- Cornflake Girl by Tori Amos. - It's the Tori Amos round!
0:24:08 > 0:24:11I was frying on the bench slide in the park across the street...
0:24:11 > 0:24:13# Frying on the bench slide in the park across the street... #
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Oh, I love you! Not got a clue what it is, but you just sing it.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19- Do you know what it is?- Yes.- You don't.- Yes, we do.- What is it, then?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21No, we want to know, I mean.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23LAUGHTER
0:24:23 > 0:24:29My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30My Sharona.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32LAUGHTER
0:24:37 > 0:24:39He took my hand and closed the door.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Oh, I know this.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44You should.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46I know this song!
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Yes, it's yours.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50LAUGHTER
0:24:50 > 0:24:54Oh, my God, I know this song! I wrote it! I wrote it!
0:24:54 > 0:24:58There are actually goldfish at home watching this going, "Come on!"
0:24:58 > 0:25:01"It's your song!"
0:25:01 > 0:25:04He took my hand and closed the door. Now, go!
0:25:04 > 0:25:06# It was just one kiss, baby... #
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Mad at Me, by Diana Vickers.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Right song, wrong lyric.
0:25:11 > 0:25:12LAUGHTER
0:25:12 > 0:25:15APPLAUSE
0:25:15 > 0:25:16To the left, to the left.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18# Everything you want in a box to the left
0:25:18 > 0:25:20# In the closet, that's my stuff
0:25:20 > 0:25:23# If I bought it, then please don't touch
0:25:23 > 0:25:25# I keep talking that mess, that's fine
0:25:25 > 0:25:27# But could you walk and talk at the same time? #
0:25:27 > 0:25:29BUZZER
0:25:29 > 0:25:31APPLAUSE
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Well, for me, it's waking up beside you.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36# To watch the sunrise on your face... #
0:25:36 > 0:25:38That's correct.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Flying Without Wings by Westlife.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Tune, by the way.
0:25:43 > 0:25:44LAUGHTER
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Tune.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47APPLAUSE
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Right, so Noel's team, you need five points to win,
0:25:50 > 0:25:53but I'd maybe suggest not winning, otherwise Huey...
0:25:53 > 0:25:55LAUGHTER
0:25:55 > 0:25:58..might get a bit cross.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03OK, your time starts now!
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Mama, do the hump.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06The humpty hump.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07Close.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Listen!
0:26:09 > 0:26:12LAUGHTER
0:26:12 > 0:26:14No!
0:26:14 > 0:26:18Right, Phill's team, you need one point to win. OK?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20If you believe it.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22All we hear is radio ga ga.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23Radio goo goo.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Yeah. Radio Ga Ga by Queen.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27No! No!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29APPLAUSE
0:26:36 > 0:26:39LAUGHTER
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Take her back to America!
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Suck it!
0:26:43 > 0:26:44LAUGHTER
0:26:44 > 0:26:48So, that's it. Thanks to Phill, Huey Morgan and Laura Whitmore.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Noel, Lissie and Paul Foot.
0:26:51 > 0:26:52Huey has just stormed off.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54This has been Never Mind the Buzzcocks
0:26:54 > 0:26:56and we've been Rizzle Kicks.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59'It appeared we had hit a dead end in our investigation, stonewalled by
0:26:59 > 0:27:02'a complete lack of actual information or evidence
0:27:02 > 0:27:04'of any kind whatsoever.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08'In a last-ditch attempt to uncover the truth, I paid Phill Jupitus,
0:27:08 > 0:27:12'the long-standing Buzzcocks team captain, a surprise visit.'
0:27:12 > 0:27:14So, we've come to the house of Phill Jupitus to see
0:27:14 > 0:27:18if he's finally prepared to tell the truth about episode 14.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Phill Jupitus, hello. Krishnan Guru-Murthy.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28We are here to find out the truth about episode 14 of Buzzcocks.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Did you take part in that?
0:27:30 > 0:27:34Were you there? Did you record episode 14?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Who hosted it?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Was it Mick Hucknall?
0:27:38 > 0:27:42Do you have anything to say? Have you got nothing to say about this?
0:27:42 > 0:27:46Phill, I mean, what have you got to hide? What have you...
0:27:46 > 0:27:49There's no episode 14!
0:27:49 > 0:27:50Fuck off!
0:27:50 > 0:27:52I'm making a documentary!
0:27:52 > 0:27:55As we come to the end of our investigation in the hunt
0:27:55 > 0:27:56for the missing episode, we are
0:27:56 > 0:28:01left with the stark possibility that perhaps series 27 of
0:28:01 > 0:28:06Never Mind the Buzzcocks was just as it seemed, a simple pop quiz.
0:28:06 > 0:28:11Perhaps the mystery of the missing episode 14 was no mystery at all.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Perhaps, we'll never know.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16I'm Krishnan Guru-Murthy.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28SILENT MONTAGE AS MUSIC PLAYS
0:28:45 > 0:28:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd