0:00:02 > 0:00:09THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Hello
0:00:32 > 0:00:36and welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks. I'm Russell Howard.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38On Phill's team tonight
0:00:38 > 0:00:43is a singer who once twerked for Miley Cyrus.
0:00:43 > 0:00:48She was so pleased, apparently, she twanked him off. It's Conor Maynard.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50APPLAUSE
0:00:54 > 0:00:59And a lady who's eaten crocodile penis and kangaroo vagina,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02but if you want to promote Iceland, you have to eat their food.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04It's Stacey Solomon!
0:01:04 > 0:01:07APPLAUSE
0:01:09 > 0:01:11And on Noel's team tonight
0:01:11 > 0:01:16is a rapper who sounds like a naughty friend of Iggle Piggle.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18It's Lethal Bizzle!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20APPLAUSE
0:01:22 > 0:01:25And a comedian whose worst moment came
0:01:25 > 0:01:28when someone offered her 20 quid to leave the stage. Don't knock it.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31That's how Blue pay their mortgage.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33It's Isy Suttie.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34APPLAUSE
0:01:36 > 0:01:38So, we begin with a round called Guess Who?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I'm going to show you a picture
0:01:40 > 0:01:43where we've morphed together two well-known faces from the world of music.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47All the teams have to do is tell me whose famous musical faces they belong to.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Noel, Lethal and Isy, you're up first.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Already, that looks like a really wrong entry on match.com,
0:01:53 > 0:01:55doesn't it?
0:01:55 > 0:02:00It looks like a lion dressed as a man dressed as a lion.
0:02:00 > 0:02:05I think it's John Lennon. Yeah. And who else? Beyonce?
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Justin Lee Collins?
0:02:06 > 0:02:08LAUGHTER
0:02:08 > 0:02:12I think it could be Beyonce. Beyonce's got straighter hair than that.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14And smaller boobs, I think.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18I forgot about that. Yeah. Is it Shakira?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Let's see if you're right. Here we go.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25There you go. It was, in fact, John Lennon and Shakira.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26APPLAUSE
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Here's another question for you.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Which one of these two was almost killed by a sea lion?
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I was reading about Shakira the other day, and apparently,
0:02:37 > 0:02:40she was on holiday and she lost her suitcase with all her songs in it.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Which really made me laugh, the idea that you carry songs around in a suitcase.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Some guy found it went, wah!
0:02:46 > 0:02:51I feel like John Lennon would be able to deal with a sea lion well.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52He would've sung I Am The Walrus
0:02:52 > 0:02:57and the sea lion would've gone, "We're sort of cousins, I'll let you go."
0:02:57 > 0:02:59What do you think the difference is? Does anyone know?
0:02:59 > 0:03:03Sea lion and walrus? Walrus, colossal tusks. Massive, huge.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Sea lion, sleek. No, they're massive! Sea lions are long and thin.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08They're like, urrrgh!
0:03:08 > 0:03:14Oh, here we go, Discovery Channel, tell us about sea lions. They are! Urgh, urgh, urgh!
0:03:14 > 0:03:18That'd be a beautiful show. You and David Attenborough - he describes the animals, and you do impressions.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Here we have a bear. Stacey.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Urgh!
0:03:24 > 0:03:28What's that in the bin? Is it a fox? Stacey. Fox?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Here we have the lovely goldfish.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Has anyone here ever been attacked by an animal?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43And lived to tell the tale? I've been bit by a dog. OK.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46A Chihuahua. You got bit by a Chihuahua?
0:03:46 > 0:03:50You don't look like the kind of bloke that knocks around with Chihuahuas. I like small dogs.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53I don't really like big dogs. Same here. I won't have a dog I don't think I can kill in the house.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Yeah, that's a good concept. When I was about seven, a llama ate my hair.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01I was at London Zoo drawing a llama, and a different llama
0:04:01 > 0:04:04sort of went behind me and started eating the back of my hair.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07While we're here, Stacey, what would a llama be like?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Rrrr! There you go. So did they gobble you as well?
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Because I was quite blonde when I was a kid, I think
0:04:12 > 0:04:16they thought it was straw. Or your drawing was crap.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18They were like, nah!
0:04:18 > 0:04:24This llama was an art critic. So what are you going to go for?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Shakira or John Lennon? What do you think? I would go for Shakira.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31That's right. It was Shakira. This is true.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Shakira's brother saved her from a terrifying sea lion attack as she
0:04:34 > 0:04:39tried to take a photo of the animal and it mistook her phone for a fish.
0:04:39 > 0:04:45That's bullshit, isn't it? The sea lion knew exactly who she was.
0:04:47 > 0:04:53Shakira was like... Whoa! My hips don't lie. And the sea lion went...
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Urgh! Urrgh!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Now, Conor, I understand people throw weird things at you.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Yeah, a lot of weird things, yeah. Now, what's the oddest thing?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Obviously, one of the obvious ones is underwear. Underwear?
0:05:08 > 0:05:14Normally not above an A size cup... Did you say frozen underwear?
0:05:14 > 0:05:18No, throw. Oh, I thought you said frozen underwear.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Can anyone beat that? Isy, have you had anything that odd?
0:05:21 > 0:05:24I've only had the 20 quid that was talked about in the introduction.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Just cos it was going so badly, someone was like,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29"I'll give you 20 quid if you get off."
0:05:29 > 0:05:33But I had to wait for ages as it snaked its way down from the back.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I just played A minor on the guitar, then it got to me
0:05:36 > 0:05:41and I spent it all on whisky. Lethal, have you had knickers?
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Yeah, I've had a few knickers and a few bras in my time.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48You sound like you go on stage with a clothes horse, just catching them.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52Now, Lethal. Yes. You're trying to invent a word or you've invented a word?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Yeah. I've invented a word that's called dench.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Are you a huge fan of Judi? Yeah. There is a connection.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Where did it come from? You see something and go, that's dench?
0:06:01 > 0:06:05It kind from playing computer games, football games, and then we'll score a goal and go,
0:06:05 > 0:06:08oh, my god, that goal was dench, and then we just kept saying it,
0:06:08 > 0:06:11and we started saying it on social media, then Piers Morgan decided to start using it
0:06:11 > 0:06:14and then Gary Lineker said it, then everyone just started saying it.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16I was like, OK, yeah, let's try and get it in the dictionary.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18See, I like the idea that we evolve it.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Yeah. So we just use any old celebrity's name.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24So you go, oh, look at that shirt, it's really Titchmarsh.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Does anyone use dench ever? Always. When would you use it?
0:06:30 > 0:06:32That was dench. I say it all the time. Of what?
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Anything...that's dench. It has to be dench.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Yeah, it's got to be dench, or I can't say dench, can I?
0:06:37 > 0:06:39That makes total sense.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Phill, Conor and Stacey,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43have a look at this and tell me who the two celebrities are.
0:06:44 > 0:06:51Dad? Yeah, he's got the look of you, let's be honest. What horrible hair.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Horrible hair?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Yeah, like, one bit of it's nice and shiny,
0:06:54 > 0:06:58and the rest of it's like pubes on the side.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02I think that's the least of this cat's worries. He's ginger.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05OK, we got ginger. I've been told I'm ginger quite a lot. Oh, really?
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Yeah. When you grow a beard... Yeah, it happens all the time.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Right. And is it ginger? I'll tell you when it happens.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17Oh! Now I feel terrible.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22So who do you think is? Well, it's Justin Bieber and someone else.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25It is. So it'll be Justin Bieber and probably Ed Sheeran.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Sheeran and Bieber. Let's see if you're right. Sheba.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30Hm!
0:07:31 > 0:07:35There you go. There we go.
0:07:35 > 0:07:41It was Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44But which of these two stripped naked to serenade their nan?
0:07:44 > 0:07:48I would say Justin Bieber cos he's only just turned, like, an adult.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52Well, not an adult, but an older child, so maybe when he was younger,
0:07:52 > 0:07:58he might've got naked, as you do when you're with your nan.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02I don't think when I turned 19 the first thing I thought of doing was stripping for my nan. I mean before!
0:08:02 > 0:08:06You've been accused of being the English Justin Bieber, which I think seems unfair.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07You seem like a lovely bloke.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Have you ever met Bieber? I have. I've walked past him a few times.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14He's very petite. He's very little. That sounded like a stalker then.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17"I've drawn him while he was unconscious."
0:08:17 > 0:08:20I dressed up as his nan and made him get naked.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:08:27 > 0:08:30OK, we don't know the answer yet. It was Justin Bieber, I think. Was it?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Yeah.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Justin Bieber surprised his nan at Thanksgiving by turning up
0:08:34 > 0:08:38to her house bollock naked and singing her a song.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41What does he do a Christmas? Just tea bag a reindeer?
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Fair to say, his nan didn't really go for it.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51She got her own back when she flashed him in the street.
0:08:52 > 0:08:57Has anyone ever got naked and sang a song? Lethal, have you ever?
0:08:57 > 0:09:02Not sang a song. I need to get naked to go to the toilet. You understand?
0:09:02 > 0:09:07I totally understand that. I've got a lovely image. Seriously.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11What, you have to take everything off? Yeah, literally. Naked. Socks.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Socks? You have to take your socks off?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15I want to be comfortable, the whole shebang, everything.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18One day, I went to the toilet and nothing was happening
0:09:18 > 0:09:21and something said, get naked, and ever since that day...
0:09:21 > 0:09:22Something said that?
0:09:22 > 0:09:26Lethal, you must get naked to poo.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31So if you were a festival in a portaloo, would you still..? Oh, gosh.
0:09:31 > 0:09:37It'd be pretty awkward. I'd take my top off and leave my shoes on.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41What I liked about you, when you told me this earlier,
0:09:41 > 0:09:44you said that you have to be naked to have a poo, then you said, "And also,
0:09:44 > 0:09:48"afterwards, I like to walk around a bit before I put my clothes back on."
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Yeah. Wow. How big's your toilet? Do you just have a wander around?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54I feel like sometimes you just need to let it all out,
0:09:54 > 0:09:58like you've just had a marathon run and you just need to recuperate.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02Stacey, can you relate to that? Have you ever got naked to have a poo? No.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Obviously, I take my pants off. Sure.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09I've never met anyone who takes every item of clothing off before a poo.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13It's meant to be a common fact, actually. It's not. Oh.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17I'm proud of it. Try it. People will try it when you invent a word for it.
0:10:17 > 0:10:22So we got dench. You need to invent a word for naked shitting.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24How about buff roughing it?
0:10:29 > 0:10:33At the end of that round, Phill's team have two and Noel's team have two.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Now, Lethal, we've come up with an idea... Yes. ..to see just how lethal you are.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45OK. We call this idea:
0:10:45 > 0:10:49What's my name now? Bizzle Bizzle. Who's the hitman? Bizzle Bizzle.
0:10:49 > 0:10:55And've I got some questions. Lethal, would you open an umbrella indoors?
0:10:55 > 0:10:59No, I wouldn't. OK.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Oh, I really needed you to say yes then!
0:11:05 > 0:11:11I've changed my mind, actually. Just to prove that you're... Yeah.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Oh, wow.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Would you walk around a building site without a hard hat?
0:11:22 > 0:11:23HE SIGHS
0:11:25 > 0:11:30I think my head would suffer a brick. Yeah, I would, why not?
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Would you walk around a building site with a hard on?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I'm not sure if I've done that before.
0:11:38 > 0:11:44Would you say Candyman five times into the mirror? Candyman. Candyman.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Don't do it.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Candyman. Oh, my god, he doesn't care! Candyman. That's two.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Candyman. Candyman. Is something going to happen if I say again?
0:11:55 > 0:11:56Don't do it.
0:11:57 > 0:12:02It could happen. It could be the scariest moment ever. Candyman. Oh!
0:12:02 > 0:12:04What have I done? Oh, Jesus!
0:12:04 > 0:12:08CHANTING
0:12:08 > 0:12:10All right!
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Wow!
0:12:17 > 0:12:19That's the end of that.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23What's my name now? Bizzle Bizzle. Who's the hitman? Bizzle Bizzle.
0:12:23 > 0:12:28Oh, that cheered me up. Well done, mate. Time now for the Intros round.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Phill and Conor, here are yours for Stacey. Good look, my friends.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Ah! Oh. Yeah.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39# Wah-wah wah wah-wah wah wah wah wah wah wah-wah wah
0:12:39 > 0:12:44# Wah-wah wah wah-wah wah wah wah
0:12:44 > 0:12:47# Brr ber ber der der Brr ber ber ber ber
0:12:47 > 0:12:50# Brr ber ber ber ber Brr ber ber ber ber Brr ber ber ber ber. #
0:12:50 > 0:12:52I know this.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Dench!
0:12:54 > 0:12:57The way you were doing that with the bumps,
0:12:57 > 0:13:01it sounded like an old lady fighting on a bus. You look so lost.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05I'm not, I've got it. # Der der der der der, der der der der der. #
0:13:05 > 0:13:10I just can't think what it is. Oh, Stacey.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Chair. No, it's not a chair.
0:13:14 > 0:13:21Is it Kanye West? I'm going to have to pass it over. Ah! Sorry.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Is it Thrift Shop. Macklemore and Lewis? He's nailed it. That's exactly what it was.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28And here is how it should have sounded.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29SONG PLAYS
0:13:31 > 0:13:33See?
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Oh, what an idiot.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40I'm sorry. That was so good as well. Sorry.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44I'm rubbish at this.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Right. Next one, please.
0:13:47 > 0:13:53That beginning bit sort of goes... # Dinga ding ding dinga ding Arrrrrrr ah. #
0:13:53 > 0:13:58It's good. I know. The Seagull from The Little Mermaid.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01It's not The Seagull from The Little Mermaid.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Yeah, let's do it again, yeah.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05# Jing jigga jing jing Jing jigga jing jing
0:14:05 > 0:14:09# Ding dinga ding ding dinga ding
0:14:09 > 0:14:17# Arrrrrrrr ar ah-ah-ah-ah-ah arrrrrr ah-ah-ah. #
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Coldplay? Yes!
0:14:19 > 0:14:21And what was the song? SHE HUMS THE TUNE
0:14:21 > 0:14:23No - yeah, that's it.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26She might be a princess where? China. Correct. She got it!
0:14:26 > 0:14:29It is Coldplay, Princess Of China.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Here's how it should've sounded.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35SONG PLAYS
0:14:46 > 0:14:49So that was Coldplay featuring Rhianna with Princess Of China.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53Chris Martin wrote the song Yellow after seeing a copy of the Yellow Pages in the studio.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57God knows what Johnny Cash was looking at when he wrote Ring Of Fire.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Apparently Coldplay are a lot of people's guilty pleasure.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02That's a pretty tame guilty pleasure.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06My brother pretends he's disabled to park close to the shops.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09We also heard Macklemore with Thrift Shop.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10Here's a question for you.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Lethal, would you ever do a rap about going to a charity shop?
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Nah, it's not really dench. See if you fancy this, right?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Went to Sue Ryder You won't see me hidin'
0:15:18 > 0:15:20I like to wear clothes that an old bloke died in
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Only problem is they got a weird stench
0:15:22 > 0:15:24But I don't care cos I look well dench.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:32 > 0:15:35You've had a run-in with David Cameron, is that right?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37He's not really a fan of urban music.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Didn't you slam him in one of your raps?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42I just called him a doughnut basically.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45But you don't like people using the word "dench" as well. I do like it.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Well, not according to this. What?!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50There's a guy called Panjabi MC who tries to use the word to
0:15:50 > 0:15:51promote a club night. Oh, yes!
0:15:51 > 0:15:54This, for me, is one of the greatest Twitter spats you've ever seen.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56D'you remember what you said to him?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Oh, gosh. Well, let me remind you.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01The reason why I like this is just cos the hashtag you use
0:16:01 > 0:16:04at the end links in no way to the rest of what you've said, right?
0:16:04 > 0:16:05He said...
0:16:10 > 0:16:12And here's the hashtag...
0:16:14 > 0:16:15LAUGHTER
0:16:15 > 0:16:17It's so lovely.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19APPLAUSE
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Noel and Lethal, here are yours for Isy. There you go.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Thanks for that. That's all right.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27While we're here with you, Is, Isy's got a special skill.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Would you all like to see it? Yes. She can do, I would argue,
0:16:30 > 0:16:33the best impression of Lady Gaga down a well you'd ever see.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37# I'm your biggest fan and I'll f-follow you
0:16:37 > 0:16:39# Unti-til you l-love me-me-me
0:16:39 > 0:16:41# Pa-pa-pa-pa Pa-pa-pa-ra-ra-zi-zi-zi
0:16:41 > 0:16:43# Baby, there's no other-ther su-superstar
0:16:43 > 0:16:44# You know-know that-at I'll be-be
0:16:44 > 0:16:46# Pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-ra-ra-zi-zi
0:16:46 > 0:16:48# Pro-pro-mi-mise I-I'll be-be kind-kind-kind
0:16:48 > 0:16:51# But I won't stop unti-til that-at boy-boy is mine-mine-mine
0:16:51 > 0:16:55# La-love me-me-me, pa-pa-pa-pa pa-pa-pa-ra-ra-zi-zi-zi. #
0:16:55 > 0:16:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Pretty amazing, eh?
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Wow, I'll bet you're never lonely. Like, hello!
0:17:08 > 0:17:11LAUGHTER
0:17:11 > 0:17:15That's the cruellest and yet kindest thing anyone's ever said.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Beautiful, right, next up. That was amazing. It was lovely, wasn't it?
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Yeah, if you start it off and I'll just...
0:17:20 > 0:17:24I might not be dench straightaway but I'll ease into dench-ness.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Yeah, I'll dench it up at the end. All right.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28# Dum-dum-dum-dum
0:17:28 > 0:17:30# Baow-waow, ba-baow
0:17:30 > 0:17:33# Ba-ba, baow, baow Baow, baow, baow
0:17:33 > 0:17:37BOTH: # Baow, baow, ba-baow Baow, ba-baow, baow
0:17:37 > 0:17:40# Ba-naow, ba, ba-ba, naow-naow
0:17:40 > 0:17:44# Ba-naow, ba-ba-ba na-naow. #
0:17:44 > 0:17:47So dench. #Fannys!
0:17:50 > 0:17:52# Ah, da-ba-ba, ba-ba-da-da. #
0:17:52 > 0:17:55I feel like I know it, and there's another bit that goes, like,
0:17:55 > 0:17:58# Na-na, da-da, na-na-na-na, duh-duh!
0:17:58 > 0:18:01D'you know what I mean? I haven't got a clue.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06Isy, do you have any idea what it is? It's like a classic rock song.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09It is! Yeah. I'm going to have to pass it over.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11D'you know what it is? It's Rebel Rebel.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14It is Rebel Rebel by David Bowie, and here's how it should sound.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16MUSIC: "Rebel Rebel" by David Bowie
0:18:23 > 0:18:25NOEL WHISTLES
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Right, next one, please.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35BOTH: # Ba-ba-ba-ba-baow
0:18:35 > 0:18:37# Ba-ba-ba-ba-baow
0:18:37 > 0:18:48# Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
0:18:48 > 0:18:49# Why-aye! #
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Nice! Right, have you got a clue? I'm really sorry.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56It doesn't matter, I'm going to sling it over.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Is it Cheryl Cole, Call My Name? Correct, well done, Conor.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03That's exactly what it is. And here is how it should have sounded.
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Well done, mate.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09MUSIC: "Call My Name" by Cheryl Cole
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Yeah, you've nailed it, man.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26# How d'you think I feel when you call my name? #
0:19:26 > 0:19:27Cheryl Cole left The X Factor US
0:19:27 > 0:19:30amid reports that nobody could understand her Geordie accent.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31To which she replied...
0:19:31 > 0:19:34NEWCASTLE ACCENT: Howay, man! Divn't talk guff.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Next ye'll be claimin' Shola Ameobi's nae fox in the box!
0:19:37 > 0:19:40We also heard David Bowie with Rebel Rebel.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Now many people debate whether his surname
0:19:42 > 0:19:44should be pronounced BO-WIE or BOUGH-IE.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46It's BO-WIE.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49In the 1970s... LAUGHTER
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Wasn't his son called Zowie, though? Yeah, his son's called Zowie.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Isn't it ZOUGH-IE BOUGH-IE, not ZOUGH-IE BO-WIE?
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Isn't it supposed to rhyme?
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Doesn't he now call himself Nathan or something?
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Duncan. Duncan, that's right.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03I mean, that is going from one end of the scale to the other.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06What I genuinely find amazing, if your dad was David Bowie
0:20:06 > 0:20:10and you were given the name Zowie Bowie, why would you get rid of it?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12For Duncan. Yeah! I know, it's madness!
0:20:12 > 0:20:14What, he left his son with Zowie Bowie?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17No, he called his son Zowie... That's what I'm saying,
0:20:17 > 0:20:20he changed his own name and said, "Ha-ha! You can keep the crazy one!"
0:20:20 > 0:20:22No, that's not what happened. No, no, David Bowie...
0:20:22 > 0:20:24LAUGHTER
0:20:24 > 0:20:27David Bowie's not called Duncan Bowie.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30I've never heard anyone get the wrong end of the stick so aggressively.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33"What, and that's what he fucking did?!"
0:20:33 > 0:20:36"No, it isn't." "Right, well, you should've! What a dick!"
0:20:36 > 0:20:40David Bowie is now called David Bowie.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42His son was called ZOUGH-IE BO-WIE.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45But he's now called Duncan Bowie, and he's now a film director.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Oh, his son changed his name. That's right.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Now, Round Three is the Identity Parade.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Noel's team, how about some classic UK garage?
0:21:00 > 0:21:03For the audience only, here is Jameson with True.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04# Back once again, still 10 out of 10
0:21:04 > 0:21:06# Still Top of the Pops Still Jameson
0:21:06 > 0:21:08# As I enter the 3D bass inventor
0:21:08 > 0:21:12# Who said I never meant to do this? We've been through this before
0:21:12 > 0:21:14# Now I'm in control but wait there's more... #
0:21:14 > 0:21:17That was Jameson with True, but which of our line-up is Jameson?
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Is it Number One, Jamie's son?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Number Two, No Son of Mine?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Number Three, Son of a Bitch?
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Number Four, Son of a Preacher Man?
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Or Number Five, Sunny Delight?
0:21:30 > 0:21:32LAUGHTER
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Is he real? Is he real?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39You can go up close to him, check if he's real if you want.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40I think I can tell. OK.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42LAUGHTER
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Bryan Ferry's been having a clearout again.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46LAUGHTER
0:21:46 > 0:21:48I like Number Four's medallions.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51He looks like he's been rifling through Jimmy Savile's drawers.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57There's a better way of putting that, Is, let's be honest.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Number One's sort of enjoying himself.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01He's enjoying the whole process.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Number One's got a lovely twinkle in his eye. What's he thinking about?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Number Four looks quite cool as well.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Yeah, Number Four's, like, standing straight!
0:22:09 > 0:22:13Yeah. Tall, proud! Number Five's having the time of his life.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Number Five's happy to be anywhere!
0:22:16 > 0:22:18I want to know what Number Five looks like at Christmas.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Can you imagine how happy he must be then?
0:22:23 > 0:22:26OK, I'm going to have to push you. Who d'you think it is?
0:22:26 > 0:22:27I reckon Four.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30I reckon, I reckon Two. Really? Right, then.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33I think we should go with Lethal. Number Two. Number Two.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37Let's find out. Would the real Jameson please step forward?
0:22:37 > 0:22:38There you go.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40APPLAUSE
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Well done, mate.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Still DJing and producing other artists,
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Jameson, ladies and gentlemen.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:55 > 0:22:59Phill, Conor and Stacey, how about some late '80s Welsh glam metal?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02D'you fancy that? Yes, I do! I know I'm in the mood.
0:23:02 > 0:23:07Right, for the audience only, here are Tigertailz with Love Bomb Baby.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10# Can't get enough of your sweet, sweet loving
0:23:10 > 0:23:14# Keep it coming Oh, baby, fire away
0:23:14 > 0:23:17# Love bomb baby
0:23:17 > 0:23:21# Love bomb baby, blow me away. #
0:23:21 > 0:23:23That was Tigertailz with Love Bomb Baby,
0:23:23 > 0:23:26but which of our line-up is lead guitarist Jay Pepper?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Is it Number One, Jay Pepper?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Number Two, Pepper Spray?
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Number Three, Peppa Pig?
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Number Four, Pepperami?
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Or Number Five, Pinch of Salt?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Do you know that song? I know it now.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43So, Conor, Welsh glam metal.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Before we start, I must say you all look positively dench!
0:23:47 > 0:23:49And if I was to tweet all of you
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I would put #Fannys at the end as well.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54I wouldn't tweet them, Conor, they look terrifying.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58The blonde one looks like he's from Wales. Right.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01What are you basing that on? Cos he's blonde. Cos he's blonde? Yeah.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04You've confused Wales with Sweden there.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08No, they're all blonde in Wales. They're not all blonde in Wales.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12Number Two's got that kind of urban, pagan thing going on.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16But I don't think it says Welsh metal to me. He's got massive ears.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Those are called stretchers,
0:24:19 > 0:24:21and they're very popular with the people these days.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24With what people? Those people.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26LAUGHTER
0:24:26 > 0:24:30Number Three, some extensive ink-work on Number Three.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34Why are you looking at me like that? I don't hate you. I don't.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Who's looking at you? The tattoo man. He wants to hurt me, I think.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Of course he doesn't, look at him, he's lovely.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44I don't know, it did look there like he wanted to hurt her.
0:24:44 > 0:24:49It's Four or Five, I think. No way! It's Four or Five.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Is that a real beard on Five? Or has he saved a badger?
0:24:54 > 0:24:58OK, who d'you think it is? Five. I think Five. Well, let's find out.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Would the real Jay Pepper please step forward?
0:25:02 > 0:25:03There you go.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05APPLAUSE
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Now about to release Tigertailz' 10th album,
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Jay Pepper, ladies and gentlemen!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:16 > 0:25:19So at the end of that round, Phill's team have five
0:25:19 > 0:25:21and Noel's team also have five.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24It's a dead heat!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:28 > 0:25:30So we end with Next Lines.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Phill's team, you're up first and your time starts now.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35"Don't you worry Don't you worry, child."
0:25:35 > 0:25:37BOTH: Heaven's got a plan for you.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Nailed it. Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41"In the jungle, the mighty jungle..."
0:25:41 > 0:25:43BOTH: The lion sleeps tonight.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46And what do lions sound like, for a bonus point? R-rah! Perfect!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48The Lion Sleeps Tonight by the Tokens.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50"Shoulda hooked up with your sister."
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Is it, "Go now, here's my middle finger?"
0:25:52 > 0:25:55That's R U Crazy by Conor Maynard. Quite full-on, isn't it?
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Yeah, it's a bit mean.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59So I should have hooked up with your sister, have that!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02And you're calling HER crazy?! For shame!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Oh, this is another one of yours, not that that gives it away(!)
0:26:05 > 0:26:07LAUGHTER
0:26:07 > 0:26:10"I was lying on the benchslide in the park across the street..."
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Lying on the benchslide in the park across the street...
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Oh, I love you. You've not got a clue what it is
0:26:15 > 0:26:16but you just said it again.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19D'you know what it is? Yes. You don't. Yes, we do. What is it, then?
0:26:19 > 0:26:21No, we want to know, I mean.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25You get a point for desire. It was Steal My Sunshine by Len.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28You got most of those right, there you go.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30That was pretty impressive.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32APPLAUSE
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Noel's team, you need four points to win.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37We can do that, team. We can do that.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39"Pow! Yeah! I'm Lethal! The B!"
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Pow if you don't know about me. Correct. Pow by Lethal Bizzle.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Don'cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Yeah!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Don't ya? I do.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51LAUGHTER
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Wow. "When it comes to weapons I'm like Danny Glover..."
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Send you home in a black bag back to your mother.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Yeah. That's Leave It Yeah. Does Danny Glover do that?
0:26:59 > 0:27:02He kills people then sends the remains back to their parents?
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Don't know, what movie was that?
0:27:03 > 0:27:07Lethal Weapon, and you're Lethal Bizzle. Is that why you did it?
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Yeah, I think that's the connection. Oh, right.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11LAUGHTER
0:27:11 > 0:27:13"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing."
0:27:13 > 0:27:17But that would be creepy and the police would be called.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20I could lie still and draw round your shadow.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22LAUGHTER
0:27:22 > 0:27:24If we get it do we get a point? Go on.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26# Watch you smile while you are sleeping
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# While you're far away and dreaming. #
0:27:28 > 0:27:31She's nailed it. I've got to give her the point.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33What?! That's not how this quiz works!
0:27:35 > 0:27:36She's so charming.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38APPLAUSE
0:27:38 > 0:27:42The final scores are Noel's team have seven, Phill's team have eight!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:47 > 0:27:48What?!
0:27:49 > 0:27:51So that's it. What fun?
0:27:53 > 0:27:56Thanks to Phill, Conor Maynard and Stacey Solomon!
0:27:56 > 0:27:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Noel, Lethal Bizzle and Isy Suttie!
0:28:01 > 0:28:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:03 > 0:28:06This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks, I've been Russell Howard,
0:28:06 > 0:28:07and as you enjoy the credits,
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Phill and Noel are going to take control of the studio cameras.
0:28:10 > 0:28:11Good night, my friends.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd