0:00:30 > 0:00:33Welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks!
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Please welcome your host for this evening,
0:00:36 > 0:00:38all the way from the radio,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41which is no different from the TV, except for the cameras...
0:00:41 > 0:00:43It's Sara Cox!
0:00:47 > 0:00:51MUSIC: "Chase Status" by Blind Faith ft. Liam Bailey
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Hello, hello, hello,
0:01:14 > 0:01:16and welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18I'm Sara Cox, and on Phill's team tonight
0:01:18 > 0:01:21is a singer who played
0:01:21 > 0:01:24the UK's first ever show on Facebook,
0:01:24 > 0:01:27saying, "It was really strange performing
0:01:27 > 0:01:29"without any faces looking back at me."
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Now you know how Matt Cardle feels when he's on tour.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33It's Eliza Doolittle.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:38 > 0:01:39And a stand-up comedian
0:01:39 > 0:01:42who was inspired after going to see Jimmy Carr.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43He went straight to his mum and said,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47"When I grow up, I'm never going to pay tax". It's Matt Richardson.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:51 > 0:01:53And on Noel's team tonight...
0:01:53 > 0:01:58a singer who was born in the tiny Australian town of Mullumbimby
0:01:58 > 0:02:01and had to travel to Sydney to take part in rap battles.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04It's the inspiration for the film 4,728 Mile.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06It's Iggy Azalea.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:07 > 0:02:11And one of the most loved sports presenters in the country.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14He was best known for his work on the BBC
0:02:14 > 0:02:15and since becoming the face of BT Sport,
0:02:15 > 0:02:18he's still best known for his work on the BBC.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20It's Jake Humphrey.
0:02:20 > 0:02:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:25 > 0:02:29We begin with Buzzcocks' Advisory Explicit Content.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31I'll show you a series of pop videos
0:02:31 > 0:02:33that have been bleeped and blurred by us.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37All you've got to do is decide which of the videos actually needed censoring
0:02:37 > 0:02:39due to explicit content.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Phill, Eliza and Matt, let's have a look at yours.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46# Giant steps are what you take
0:02:46 > 0:02:48# BLEEP on the moon
0:02:50 > 0:02:53# I hope my legs don't break
0:02:53 > 0:02:55# BLEEP on the moon... #
0:02:57 > 0:02:58# Blurred lines
0:02:58 > 0:03:03# I know you want it
0:03:03 > 0:03:05# But you're a good girl... #
0:03:07 > 0:03:09# Don't you know I'm still standing
0:03:09 > 0:03:11# Better than I've ever been
0:03:12 > 0:03:14# BLEEP like a true survivor
0:03:14 > 0:03:16# BLEEP like a little kid... #
0:03:19 > 0:03:21# I know some day that it'll all turn out
0:03:21 > 0:03:25# You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
0:03:27 > 0:03:28# And I promise you, kid
0:03:28 > 0:03:31# that I'll give so much more than I get
0:03:33 > 0:03:36# I just haven't BLEEP you yet... #
0:03:39 > 0:03:40That was my favourite.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44So that was the Police, Robin Thicke, Elton John and Michael Buble.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48But who was genuinely being explicit in their pop video?
0:03:48 > 0:03:52So Buble was running across some freezers in a supermarket.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54It could be Bubes.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Might it be him? Have you met any of these people?
0:03:56 > 0:04:00I met Buble once. He married the girl in the video.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I met her as well. Couldn't he just have paid her?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Eliza, have you met Robin Thicke?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07No. Good. Don't.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Stay away from that man. You listen to your Auntie Sara.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Stay away. Dish!
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Tell us about him. Oh, nowt, really.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16He leaves a bit of a slick behind him.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Phwoarr, phwoarr!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I know what you want to do to stop that - salt.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Yeah!
0:04:24 > 0:04:26And then we had Elton John, Still Standing.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30Yeah. I remember reading an article about him, where he said that
0:04:30 > 0:04:32in an average weekend, he'd do an ounce of cocaine,
0:04:32 > 0:04:35and pots and pots and pots of whelks.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38You'd do the cocaine and think, "Seafood!
0:04:38 > 0:04:40"We're going to Margate!"
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Cheap whizz and crabsticks.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48In that video where they all fell over,
0:04:48 > 0:04:52do you think that was on purpose, or just one guy at the front just...?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55They shouldn't have put Wobbly Bob at the front - he always falls over.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Bob's like, "Sorry!"
0:04:57 > 0:04:58Wobbly Bob!
0:04:58 > 0:05:03So, whose video has really been censored for being a massive rudey-pants?
0:05:03 > 0:05:04The Thickeness. Robin Thicke.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07You're absolutely right. It was Robin Thicke.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11Robin Thicke there with Blurred Lines, which we had to censor because, aside from loads
0:05:11 > 0:05:13of naked ladies, he blew up some balloons
0:05:13 > 0:05:17saying "Robin Thicke has a big...widgie".
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Oh to be there and change the word "has" for "is"!
0:05:22 > 0:05:23That would have been good.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27I think that says "Robin Thicke has a big duck".
0:05:29 > 0:05:33The way she's stood, though, makes it look like "Robin Thicke has a bi duck".
0:05:33 > 0:05:35This bisexual duck that also likes geese as well.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41For a bonus point, can you tell me where the song Blurred Lines
0:05:41 > 0:05:43has been banned from being played?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Is it A - student unions,
0:05:46 > 0:05:48B - from a leading opticians
0:05:48 > 0:05:50or is it C - from Buckingham Palace?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Where's the song been banned from?
0:05:52 > 0:05:53Opticians.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Cos they can't take a joke, famously.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58I don't like the opticians, cos I don't like being in a dark room,
0:05:58 > 0:06:01when the lady puts her face so close to me
0:06:01 > 0:06:03and it's so dark, I just want to go "mwah!" on her.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08It is weird, isn't it? "And what about if I do this?"
0:06:08 > 0:06:09It's really freaky.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13"Which one's clearer - the red or the green?"
0:06:13 > 0:06:16And sometimes you say "Green" and they go "Really?"
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Did anybody else used to pretend...?
0:06:19 > 0:06:23My eyes were all right when I was at school, and they'd do one of those rubbish eye tests
0:06:23 > 0:06:27and they'd show you summat and you'd have to identify a number in it to see if you were colour blind,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30and everyone was desperate to be colour blind, so you'd be like
0:06:30 > 0:06:32"seven" though you could clearly see it was a nine.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34JAKE: See, I am colour blind,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37and I did have the dots test when I was seven years old and my grandpa was a policeman
0:06:37 > 0:06:38and I always wanted to be a cop.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41And at seven years old, I failed the colour blindness test
0:06:41 > 0:06:46and they went, "You are colour blind. There's a list of jobs you can't do."
0:06:46 > 0:06:47ALL: Aww!
0:06:47 > 0:06:49What was at the top? Police officer.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52I can't believe that policeman was at the top.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54What about rainbow shepherd?
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Why can't you be a policeman? I don't understand.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08I think when I say, "The guy took off in the brown car" and they're all looking for the brown car...
0:07:08 > 0:07:11"It was a guy with long blond hair and a brown jumper"
0:07:11 > 0:07:14and they're running around West London looking for you...
0:07:14 > 0:07:15All right, I've got it now.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19We've got to leave the colour blind thing now.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20I can't, though, can I?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28So, your answer, then?
0:07:28 > 0:07:29I've forgotten what we were doing.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Student unions.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34But students are allowed to do anything.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35Not really. Aren't they?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Oh, it's Freshers' - I killed a guy!
0:07:40 > 0:07:43That's your final answer? I think it'll be the student unions.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45You're absolutely right. It is the student unions. Well done.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47APPLAUSE
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Blurred Lines was banned from a number of British student unions,
0:07:54 > 0:07:56as they said it encourages misogynistic culture.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Robin Thicke didn't go to university,
0:07:58 > 0:08:01but neither did his mates Nick Numpty and Derek Durbrain.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Many of you know who Robin Thicke is.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07He's the guy who twerked with Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I used to have a dog who used to twerk all the time,
0:08:10 > 0:08:12but it turned out to be worms.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18Noel's team, have a look at this. Tell me which of the following pop stars really did need censoring.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25# Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
0:08:28 > 0:08:31# The first BLEEP is the deepest
0:08:31 > 0:08:34# Baby, I know
0:08:34 > 0:08:37# The first BLEEP is the deepest... #
0:08:40 > 0:08:42# BLEEP like an Egyptian
0:08:45 > 0:08:47# BLEEP like an Egyptian... #
0:08:53 > 0:08:57# Could have entered me lightly
0:08:57 > 0:09:01# Restoring my blisses... #
0:09:02 > 0:09:03# What we want to
0:09:03 > 0:09:06# It's our house We can love who we want to
0:09:06 > 0:09:09# It's our song We can sing if we want to
0:09:09 > 0:09:12# It's my mouth I can BLEEP what I want to... #
0:09:15 > 0:09:18There you go. Rod Stewart, the Bangles, Bjork and Miley Cyrus.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22Who was being actually explicit in their pop video? Who's the rudey-pants?
0:09:22 > 0:09:24There's so much there that blew my mind.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Rod Stewart's haircut...
0:09:26 > 0:09:30Is it similar to mine or not? I got a bit paranoid when I saw the video.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32No, no. Not as good, yours.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34I don't mind.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36I will bow down to Rod. Not in that way. That's disgusting.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38LAUGHTER
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Excuse me, your laugh is not acceptable.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44It's like you've carried a goat in.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48My dad used to have a goat and the vet said it was the biggest...
0:09:51 > 0:09:52He's a farmer. He was called Leroy.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Not me dad - the goat was called Leroy.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59It was about this big. I never liked it. I was happy when it died. Sorry, Dad.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03If ever you see a goat and you want it to skip away,
0:10:03 > 0:10:05just give it a tickle under its tail.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Same with Jake, actually.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11And I was thinking I would be left out of the conversation because I know nothing about music.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18What do you think, Iggy? I had a goat too.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Iggy had a goat! I knew we'd bond over something. What was it called?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Georgica.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Georgica? Yeah. Not Georgia, Georgica.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31I had to give it away to my mum's friend and I would visit it sometimes
0:10:31 > 0:10:33and see it, like, "Uh, there you are!"
0:10:33 > 0:10:36NOEL GUFFAWS
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Who else was on there? Miley Cyrus?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41I'm looking at that video and thinking,
0:10:41 > 0:10:45"Someone needs to explain to her what you do on an exercise bike", because that is not it.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Just rubbing herself around the place.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Billy Ray must be furious.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55What's happened to Miley? She's just sort of gone a bit mad.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59I don't know, but at the VMAs, her tongue looked like a big piece of Spam
0:10:59 > 0:11:00or like...
0:11:02 > 0:11:04It is quite fascinating, the way she moves around.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07But she had a lot of metal objects.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Maybe she's got a magnetic vagina.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15How do you feel about the whole, you know, rubbing yourself on the fixtures?
0:11:17 > 0:11:20I don't know. I've been spayed, so...
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Which one, then? Who do you think...?
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Bjork was naked.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31You know a little bit about that stuff, don't you?
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Well, it doesn't count as being nude if you don't have breasts.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Mine are quite small, so it's technically just nipples.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39And that's legal.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41What inspired your desire for nakedness?
0:11:41 > 0:11:43I think that would probably have to be...
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Bon Jovi.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Jon Bon? Mm-hm. I saw him once.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Did you? In London, yeah. Is he very small?
0:11:52 > 0:11:54He's about the size of an iPhone.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57But your grandparents will see that.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59No, no, they won't see that.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02It's on the internet. They're not...
0:12:02 > 0:12:06AUSSIE ACCENT: "Bob, somebody phoned up and said our Iggy was on the internet in the nude!"
0:12:08 > 0:12:11"Put that goat down. We've got to look at this internet."
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Grandparents are the most liberal people in the world.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19They've seen everything. People always imagine old people are going to go, "Aargh!"
0:12:19 > 0:12:22When really, they just go, "Yeah, another pair of tits."
0:12:23 > 0:12:26What's your answer, then? Jon Bon Jovi.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29He's not in the list. He should be.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31You haven't done your research.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37I think it's Bjork. You think it's Bjork? Definitely.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38That's the right answer. Well done.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44The answer was Bjork with Cocoon, which we censored
0:12:44 > 0:12:47because she had red ribbons shooting from her nipples.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48I wouldn't mind that, really.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52If you like a fun run, you could do the finishing line...
0:12:53 > 0:12:54Like that!
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Kids' hair in the morning... "Here you go, darling - pigtails."
0:12:57 > 0:12:59That one's a bit weird, admittedly.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04For a bonus point, can you tell me what Bjork did in her video Pagan Poetry
0:13:04 > 0:13:07that was so graphic that it actually got her banned from MTV?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Was it A - she interfered with a druid...?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Was it she made a corset out of her own skin
0:13:15 > 0:13:17or she ate a cat?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Is there an option for all of the above?
0:13:20 > 0:13:22I think it's the skin thing, isn't it?
0:13:22 > 0:13:26You think she made a corset out of her own skin. Absolutely right. Well done. Yes!
0:13:29 > 0:13:35So, in the video for Pagan Poetry, Bjork is seen making a corset out of her own skin.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Bjork, the second nuttiest woman in Iceland,
0:13:38 > 0:13:39just after Kerry Katona.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Time for the Intros round. Noel and Iggy, here are yours
0:13:45 > 0:13:47for the lovely Jake. Here we go. Good luck.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Are you excited?
0:13:50 > 0:13:51I'm scared!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Come on, Iggy, you can do it.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Draw on the inner artist.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Wow, you're so tall, it's ridiculous!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02I don't even know any of these.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04# Der-der der der-der der der
0:14:04 > 0:14:05# Der der der der der der
0:14:05 > 0:14:09# Der-der der der-der der der
0:14:09 > 0:14:11# Der-der der der-der der der Der der der der der der... #
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Am I only getting half the performance here, or is this meant to be you on your own?
0:14:15 > 0:14:16I told you, I don't know this song.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20What if I give you Charades help?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22OK, ready?
0:14:22 > 0:14:24PHILL LAUGHS
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Pretend I'm a man.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29# Der-der der der-der der der Der der der der der der
0:14:29 > 0:14:31# Der-der der der-der der der... #
0:14:31 > 0:14:33It's not Miley Cyrus.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35# Der-der der der-der der der Der der der der der der
0:14:35 > 0:14:37# Der-der der der-der der der Der der der der der der... #
0:14:39 > 0:14:43I've never felt more uncomfortable in a television studio in my life!
0:14:43 > 0:14:45What are they doing?!
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Did it help at all, Jake?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48It helped me!
0:14:49 > 0:14:52A gorgeous woman pretending to masturbate on Noel Fielding
0:14:52 > 0:14:54and you're asking me to name the song?!
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Pretend Noel is a girl.
0:14:57 > 0:14:58OK.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Now do the song again.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Going again, are you? Seems a waste not to!
0:15:09 > 0:15:10Noel, I'm really confused now...
0:15:10 > 0:15:12He's a girl! Just go with it.
0:15:12 > 0:15:17# Der-der der der-der der der Der der der der der der
0:15:17 > 0:15:20# Der-der der der-der der der Der der der der der der... #
0:15:20 > 0:15:23AUSSIE ACCENT: Bob, we've had the neighbours on the phone again!
0:15:25 > 0:15:30Apparently Iggy's been rubbing herself up and down against the girl out of the Addams Family.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33APPLAUSE
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Any ideas? Oh, yes, I've got loads of ideas about what that might be(!)
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Don't let the visual... It must be difficult for you because you can't see colours.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47It's right in front of your face!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50I know it's right in front of my face! Any idea, Jake?
0:15:50 > 0:15:53What are you getting from that, apart from maybe...?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55I'm getting the Snow Queen and Mr Tumnus.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58What about you, Sara? How's that working out for you?
0:15:58 > 0:16:03I must say that Iggy's bottom looked like it was being worked by a couple of puppeteers from behind.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05It was awesome.
0:16:05 > 0:16:06It was like...
0:16:07 > 0:16:09"Hey, Bert!" "Hey, Ernie!" Like that.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11But in a bottom. It was brilliant.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Iggy has got some moves.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16I'm going to pass it over. Any ideas?
0:16:16 > 0:16:18I think I need to see it about eight more times.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Gay Bar, Electric Six? Yes, it is! Well done.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24SONG PLAYS
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I don't know...
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Yes!
0:16:30 > 0:16:31# You
0:16:31 > 0:16:34# I want to take you to a gay bar... #
0:16:35 > 0:16:37So, go on, then - go for it!
0:16:37 > 0:16:40OK, so I don't know what physical movements you're going to have to do...
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I know exactly what to do.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47If we don't get our own spin-off show, I'm going to be furious.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52SUNDRY GRUNTS AND SQUEAKS FROM NOEL
0:16:57 > 0:17:00MORE THROATY GRUNTING
0:17:00 > 0:17:02IGGY SQUEALS MANIACALLY
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Baaah!
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Ba-da-dah!
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Jay, an answer?
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Sorry. No idea either? OK.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18It actually was Jamiroquai with Feels Just Like It Should.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Here's how it should have sounded.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21SONG INTRO PLAYS
0:17:27 > 0:17:30# Bow-ba-ba-bow-ow! # Why didn't you do this bit?
0:17:30 > 0:17:35Jamiroquai's recently designed a 20-piece clothing collection.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I'm not sure what the 20 pieces were,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40but I'm guessing one of them was a stupid hat.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44We also heard Electric Six with Gay Bar.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Now, Electric Six's video for Gay Bar featured a series of homosexual Abraham Lincolns
0:17:48 > 0:17:50and they were dubbed the Gaybrahams.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Bit out of date, to be honest.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Why didn't they just go with Barack O'Bummer?
0:17:55 > 0:17:58The video for Gay Bar contained sexual metaphors
0:17:58 > 0:18:00such as a train going into a tunnel.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05Although if it was actually going to reflect some of the activities I've heard about in gay bars,
0:18:05 > 0:18:08there would be lots of trains going into lots of tunnels
0:18:08 > 0:18:11while lots of other trains stood around watching.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Phill and Eliza, here are yours for Matt.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16There you go.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19See that there? Yes.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20OK? OK.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Here we go.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25# De-ding de doo Dong ding de-dong
0:18:25 > 0:18:27# Ding ding doo Ding doo
0:18:27 > 0:18:29# Di-di-di-li-di bing ding
0:18:29 > 0:18:31# Jing jing jing
0:18:31 > 0:18:33# Jing jing jing Jing jing jing Jing jing jing
0:18:33 > 0:18:36# Jing jing jing Jing jing jing Jing jing jing... #
0:18:36 > 0:18:39You're standing there singing "Gin, gin, gin!" You're like my mum.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42I don't know it. You've no idea?
0:18:42 > 0:18:44OK, pass it over to the others. Is it Blur? With...?
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Coffee And TV? Yes, it is.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Well done! Exactly right.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51And here's how it should have sounded. Let's have a listen.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53INTRO PLAYS
0:18:53 > 0:18:56No, never. You're joking?! No, never heard this.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58When were you born?
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Before this came out.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Nice. That's nice. Next one, then.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07One, two, three, four...
0:19:07 > 0:19:14# Mwow mwow mwow mwow-mwow Ding ding!
0:19:14 > 0:19:15# Tshhhhhhhhhhh... #
0:19:15 > 0:19:18I can't do the bwoof and the mwow-ow at the same time.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19There's too much going on at once.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21I'll do the bwoof.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22# Bwoof, bwoof, bwoof, bwoof
0:19:22 > 0:19:24# Mwow mwow mwow mwow-mwow Ding ding!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26# Bwoof, bwoof, bwoof, bwoof
0:19:26 > 0:19:28# Mwow mwow mwow mwow-mwow Ding ding!
0:19:28 > 0:19:29# Bwoof, bwoof, bwoof, bwoof... #
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I mean, I don't even know it and I'm in the band now.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34I've got no idea. No idea?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37No clue, sorry. Any idea over here? You can nick a point.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40That was equally confusing for us, I'm pleased to say.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42To make you feel better.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44OK, it's actually Room 5 and Make Luv.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Here's how it should have sounded.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48FUNKY INTRO PLAYS
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Ah, when you hear it, you see - Balearic. Woo!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Yeah, it's nice.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03You also heard Blur with Coffee And TV.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Damon Albarn was recently named the fourth greatest front man
0:20:06 > 0:20:09of all time, which sounds incredible,
0:20:09 > 0:20:12until you realise it was a survey of Blur.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15In 2001,
0:20:15 > 0:20:19a cleaner at EMI accidentally threw away priceless photos of Blur on tour.
0:20:19 > 0:20:24Now, the cleaner wasn't sacked, because she also threw away a demo tape from Blue,
0:20:24 > 0:20:27which she then went on to receive a BRIT Award
0:20:27 > 0:20:29for Outstanding Contribution to Music.
0:20:29 > 0:20:30Well done, her.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33So that means at the end of that round, Phill's team have three
0:20:33 > 0:20:35and Noel's team have three.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Round three is the Identity Parade.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Noel, Iggy and Jake, how about a little mid-'90s forgetto pop?
0:20:47 > 0:20:50For the audience only, here are Deuce with I Need You.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Hi! We're Deuce.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54It's Thursday night. It's seven o'clock...
0:20:54 > 0:20:56It must be... ALL: Top Of The Pops!
0:20:56 > 0:20:58# I need you
0:20:58 > 0:21:00# To show me the way
0:21:00 > 0:21:04# Every day it's stronger and stronger
0:21:04 > 0:21:06# I need you
0:21:06 > 0:21:08# In every way
0:21:08 > 0:21:12# What can I say to keep you satisfied?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14That was Deuce there with Call It Love.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17But which of our line-up is band member Paul Holmes?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Is it Number 1 - Deuce?
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Number 2 - Double fault?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Number 3 - New balls, please?
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Number 4 - You cannot be serious?
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Or Number 5 - Out?
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Noel's team.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I'm so jealous of Number 4.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40It's only October. He thinks it's November.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45Number 4's lovely, He looks like he should be on a strong mustard tin.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Madam, try my mustard!
0:21:50 > 0:21:51Doesn't he?
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Great 'tache. Have you ever tried to grow a 'tache, Jake?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I couldn't. This is like two days' growth for me.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58I'm looking at Phill. He's a special man.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Special bear! Special bear.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03I'd like to take him home and cuddle him.
0:22:03 > 0:22:04That can be arranged.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10Iggy, which of those men would you be most likely to go a date with?
0:22:10 > 0:22:11Just out of curiosity?
0:22:11 > 0:22:144 is the only one who looks like he has any pubic hair,
0:22:14 > 0:22:16so I'm going to go with him.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Iggy's got a method for this. Go on.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24It's a scientific fact... OK.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27..that singers are the shortest people in the room.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Besides me - I'm the exception.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33But that guy, I knew he was the guy, because he was the shortest guy,
0:22:33 > 0:22:36and that's why we have to go with 2, because he's clearly the shortest.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Number 5's got a fresh face.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42It's not. It's 2. Twinkle.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44I don't think it's 3...
0:22:44 > 0:22:46It's 2.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49The white jackets... Was that their look, Deuce?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52No, they're all mine.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54It's 2. What? They're my jackets.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55They're your jackets? Yeah.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I think 2 looks a bit like Joe Pasquale.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59You definitely think it's 2?
0:22:59 > 0:23:03I can see some sort of Iggy rage coming out
0:23:03 > 0:23:05if I don't go with 2.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06The way he's smiling...
0:23:06 > 0:23:10He knows that it's true about entertainers! That's why he's smiling!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12He's like, "You're onto something!"
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Well, if it's him...
0:23:13 > 0:23:14It's him, man!
0:23:14 > 0:23:18AUSSIE ACCENT: Bob, you should send a goat across to England to calm Iggy down!
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Are you going to go with 2?
0:23:26 > 0:23:30I just feel like I have to go with the whole height thing.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34Let's see if she's right. Will the real Paul Holmes please step forward?
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Just saying...just saying...
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Still quite petite.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53About to release a brand-new single - Paul Holmes, ladies and gentlemen!
0:23:53 > 0:23:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Phill's team, how about some classic early '90s Euro-dance?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05For the audience only, this is amazing.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Here is Haddaway with What Is Love?
0:24:08 > 0:24:11# What is love?
0:24:11 > 0:24:12# Baby, don't hurt me
0:24:12 > 0:24:14# Don't hurt me
0:24:14 > 0:24:15# No more
0:24:17 > 0:24:18# What is love?
0:24:18 > 0:24:20# Baby, don't hurt me
0:24:20 > 0:24:21# Don't hurt me
0:24:21 > 0:24:23# No more... #
0:24:25 > 0:24:27So that was Haddaway with What Is Love?
0:24:27 > 0:24:30But which of our line-up is Haddaway?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Is it Number 1 - Haddaway?
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Number 2 - Had a go?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Number 3 - Had a wife?
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Number 4 - Had a string of convictions?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Or Number 5 - Had a shit time on Buzzcocks?
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Phill.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51I feel like Number 1's got something in his eyes.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53The way he's staring, cataracts, surely?
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Number 4 looks like a slightly melted Ian Wright.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Tussauds left his waxwork out the back.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04ELIZA: I think it's 2.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06It's 2.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I think it's 4 - he looks like he had fun in the '90s.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I never ever saw it performed,
0:25:12 > 0:25:14and Eliza and Matt
0:25:14 > 0:25:16are both 12.
0:25:18 > 0:25:202. You're going for Number 2?
0:25:20 > 0:25:22OK, let's find out. Will the real Haddaway
0:25:22 > 0:25:24please step forward?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Still gigging, with up to 100 shows a year,
0:25:35 > 0:25:37it's Haddaway, ladies and gentlemen!
0:25:37 > 0:25:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:42 > 0:25:43Wow!
0:25:46 > 0:25:50At the end of that round, Phill's team have three and Noel's team also have three.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57So, then, we're going to end with Next Lines.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Phill's team, we're going to begin with you, if that's OK.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02That's OK, Sara Cox.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03What is love?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Don't hurt me.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Don't hurt me...at all.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09No more. Nearly.
0:26:09 > 0:26:10What Is Love? by Haddaway.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12It's just to test your ability.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14It's your song! Oh, yeah!
0:26:14 > 0:26:17It's just to test your ability. Come on!
0:26:17 > 0:26:20# It's just to test your ability... #
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Let's count...
0:26:21 > 0:26:25To infinity. Yes! Pack Up Your Troubles by Eliza Doolittle. Well done.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27You've got to fight for your right...
0:26:27 > 0:26:29ALL: ..to party!
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Beastie Boys. Make love and listen to the music.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Everybody does.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37You've got to let yourself go. Yes, Make Luv, Room 5.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Don't stop me now.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40I've got to go. No!
0:26:40 > 0:26:42I'm having such a good time.
0:26:42 > 0:26:43Yes, Don't Stop Me Now by Queen.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45END OF ROUND JINGLE
0:26:45 > 0:26:46There you go.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Noel's team, you need four points to win, OK?
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Just the four points. You ready? Yeah.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Time starts now. Oops! I did it again.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57I played with your heart.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Got lost in the game. Yes, Iggy! Oops! I Did It Again, Britney Spears.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03I've been up all night, trying to get that rich.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04Tea biscuit.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06It's you, Iggy!
0:27:06 > 0:27:07It's you, Iggy! Go on!
0:27:07 > 0:27:13Oh, my God, I don't know this! I've been up all night, trying to get that rich. It's your song.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15I've been work, work, work, work, work, work, work,
0:27:15 > 0:27:16working on my shit.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Work by Iggy Azalea. Very good.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Dum diddy dum diddy-duddy dum dum.
0:27:21 > 0:27:26# Dum, da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum dum dum dum. #
0:27:26 > 0:27:27# Ner ner ner
0:27:27 > 0:27:29# Ba-ba bum ba-ba-bum bum bum bum
0:27:29 > 0:27:30# Ner ner ner
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa-wa
0:27:33 > 0:27:34# Da da dum da dum doo... #
0:27:34 > 0:27:38The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. I think Phill should get the point for that one.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40I knew you were trouble when you walked in.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42# I knew you were trouble
0:27:42 > 0:27:44# When you walked in...
0:27:44 > 0:27:46# Now I'm laying on the cold hard ground... #
0:27:46 > 0:27:48NO!
0:27:48 > 0:27:50WHOA! Goat! Goat!
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Goat!
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Real goat, NOW!
0:27:53 > 0:27:55YOU MISSED A WHOLE LINE!
0:27:55 > 0:27:57I hate it when Mummy and Daddy shout.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01So shame on me now. Trouble by Taylor Swift.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03END OF ROUND JINGLE
0:28:03 > 0:28:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:06 > 0:28:08So, the final scores, then. Phill's team have six
0:28:08 > 0:28:10and Noel's team have seven.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:17 > 0:28:21So that's it, then. Thanks very much to Phill, Eliza Doolittle and Matt Richardson,
0:28:21 > 0:28:24to Noel, Iggy Azalea and Jake Humphrey.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:26 > 0:28:29This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks. I've been Sara Cox.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32As you enjoy the credits, we're going to replace ourselves
0:28:32 > 0:28:35with a member of the audience who we think looks most like us. Good night!
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd