0:00:03 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Welcome...Eamonn Holmes!
0:01:19 > 0:01:22US ACCENT: Welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26I'm not Elvis Presley...I'm really Eamonn Holmes!
0:01:26 > 0:01:28CHEERING
0:01:30 > 0:01:33On Phill's team tonight...
0:01:33 > 0:01:35is a man who, by the age of 27,
0:01:35 > 0:01:39still couldn't recite the alphabet.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42He just couldn't get past the E.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43It's Shaun Ryder.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:49 > 0:01:51And a man called Greg from Scotland.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53There are many great Gregs in Scotland.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55There's one in Fife,
0:01:55 > 0:01:56one in Dundee
0:01:56 > 0:01:58and the one on Princes Street in Edinburgh
0:01:58 > 0:02:00is a particular favourite of mine.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02It's Greg McHugh.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:06 > 0:02:08And on Noel's team tonight...
0:02:08 > 0:02:11# So you know that I'll carry you... #
0:02:11 > 0:02:13..it's a singer who's recently written his memoirs.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16I won't say there's not a lot to talk about,
0:02:16 > 0:02:17but Chapter 2 starts, "I went on Buzzcocks".
0:02:17 > 0:02:20It's Union J's Jaymi.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:25 > 0:02:27And the comedian who recently Tweeted
0:02:27 > 0:02:29that whenever she orders a curry,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31she takes her bra off.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Me too! It's Sarah Millican.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Were you all fooled? Did you think that was really Elvis?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44I've got to be honest, Eamonn. A bit of me did think,
0:02:44 > 0:02:45"Good Lord - Elvis!"
0:02:45 > 0:02:46A larger part of me thought
0:02:46 > 0:02:49we were at a very odd North Korean rally.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56You know what? I put on this outfit and I just feel...
0:02:56 > 0:02:59# Just a hunk A hunk of burning love
0:03:00 > 0:03:02# Just a hunk A hunk of burning love
0:03:03 > 0:03:06# Just a hunk A hunk of burning love... #
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Anyway, we begin with a round called Who Do You Think You Are?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Phill, Shaun and Greg, take a look at this.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19# Don't stop, make it pop
0:03:19 > 0:03:21# DJ, blow my speakers up
0:03:21 > 0:03:23# Tonight I'mma fight
0:03:23 > 0:03:25# Till we see the sunlight... #
0:03:25 > 0:03:29That's right - it's breakdown-courting PR grenade Ke$ha.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Well, that was Ke$ha with Tik Tok.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39But what does she reportedly get her assistants to do for her
0:03:39 > 0:03:41when she is feeling tired?
0:03:41 > 0:03:45Is it A - sing her lullabies based on Ozzy Osbourne's life,
0:03:45 > 0:03:50B - talk to her in dinosaur language
0:03:50 > 0:03:51or C -
0:03:51 > 0:03:55repeatedly jump over a fence dressed as a sheep?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00To sing to her in a dinosaur language...
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Barney the dinosaur.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09I watch it about five times a week.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Puts you to sleep, big time.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Is he the purple one, Barney? Yeah.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Oh, here we go! You too.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19I've seen his work. He's good. His work?!
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Yes!
0:04:20 > 0:04:23He's the leading dinosaur of our times.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Do you really watch Barney the dinosaur?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28I do. Him and Peppa Pig.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31That's right. SARAH: Is it because you're addicted to them?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33I'm down to two Peppa Pigs a day!
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Cos when they dig up their bones and they draw the dinosaurs,
0:04:38 > 0:04:41they assume they were, like, reptilian,
0:04:41 > 0:04:44but what if they WERE all felt?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50What if the T Rex was a massive snooker table with teeth?
0:04:50 > 0:04:52What is the sheep one again?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55She pays, apparently,
0:04:55 > 0:04:57her assistants to dress as sheep...
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Sheep. You're supposed to count sheep jumping over a fence.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02She pays one... Just one, though?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Like, over and over again? That's knackering, isn't it?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08The assistant has to pretend to be different sheep every time.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Slightly changing their hairstyle.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Mehhhh!
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Change the hairstyle... Baaaa!
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Change the hairstyle. Maaaaah!
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I'm running out of sheep impressions!
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Why can't she just, um...
0:05:21 > 0:05:25I feel I'm in the right team. ..why can't she just take some drugs and go to sleep?
0:05:26 > 0:05:29She could rub her button. That helps me nod off sometimes.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35APPLAUSE
0:05:38 > 0:05:40What do you think it is, gentlemen?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43I'd like to think it's the assistant jumping over a gate in an outfit.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Shaun, have you ever had an assistant? Me?
0:05:45 > 0:05:49We've just about got a tour bus, never mind an assistant.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Who drives it? Bez.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54LAUGHTER
0:05:54 > 0:05:55And try stopping him!
0:05:58 > 0:06:00I'm imagining the tour bus going 90mph
0:06:00 > 0:06:02and you go, "Are we going the right way?"
0:06:02 > 0:06:03"Bez knows where he's going."
0:06:03 > 0:06:06And then look up and there's no-one there in the seat!
0:06:06 > 0:06:08He's on the roof!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17What do you reckon, Shaun? The dinosaur.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Dinosaur song.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Dinosaur song. Tonight we're going to play the Ryder system. Yes?
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Funny you should say that.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29# I said see you See, see rider
0:06:30 > 0:06:33# Oh, see what you have done
0:06:33 > 0:06:34# Yeah yeah yeah
0:06:34 > 0:06:37# I said see you See, see rider... #
0:06:37 > 0:06:39I have a song for everything.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43You fancy... Let's go with dinosaurs.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45He thinks it's dinosaurs.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48He's right! The answer is B.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55When Ke$ha gets tired, she refuses to talk
0:06:55 > 0:06:57and insists that her assistants only speak to her
0:06:57 > 0:06:59in dinosaur.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02We don't know exactly what dinosaur is spoken like,
0:07:02 > 0:07:05but we're fairly certain one of the last phrases was
0:07:05 > 0:07:08"Does that look like a meteor to you?"
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I also assume other phrases include
0:07:13 > 0:07:15"Welcome to Strictly Come Dancing!"
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Noel, Jaymi and Sarah, check this out.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22# Don't stop, keep it moving
0:07:22 > 0:07:23# Put your drinks up
0:07:23 > 0:07:26# It's getting ill It's getting sick on the floor... #
0:07:26 > 0:07:30That's right - the biggest arse in music,
0:07:30 > 0:07:32after Kanye West.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33It's J-Lo.
0:07:33 > 0:07:38# Brazil, Morocco London to Ibiza
0:07:38 > 0:07:41# Straight to LA New York, Vegas to Africa... #
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Well, there we go. That was J-Lo, On The Floor.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Let's not forget, featuring Pitbull.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49PHILL LAUGHS But what demands is it claimed J-Lo makes...
0:07:49 > 0:07:52This is very important.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54A lot of people might not know Pitbull was in that.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57It's just you - "And let's not forget..."
0:07:57 > 0:08:01I can see Pitbull watching at home, going, "Yo, thanks!
0:08:01 > 0:08:03"Mad thanks to Eamonn, my brother!"
0:08:03 > 0:08:06We're all brothers in the music industry.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09But what demands is it claimed J-Lo makes to her assistants
0:08:09 > 0:08:14about the way her favourite hot drink is made?
0:08:14 > 0:08:18OK, Noel's team. Is it that A - her hot chocolate...
0:08:18 > 0:08:21is made using her own...
0:08:21 > 0:08:23That's disgusting!
0:08:24 > 0:08:28A - her hot chocolate is made using her own breast milk...
0:08:28 > 0:08:30AUDIENCE GROANS
0:08:30 > 0:08:32..B - her herbal tea
0:08:32 > 0:08:35is made in a hypoallergenic chamber
0:08:35 > 0:08:39or C - her coffee is only stirred
0:08:39 > 0:08:41anti-clockwise?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45That's witchcraft, that is.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48I recognise the sound.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Um...
0:08:53 > 0:08:55It can't be the boob one. Why?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Well, because aren't her kids older than breastfeeding age?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Yeah, but her boyfriend's about 14.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03I thought she was married. Am I behind the times?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05She got rid of him. She murdered him?
0:09:05 > 0:09:08She divorced him. She's now with a dancer.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10He was lactose-intolerant.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14They're all suitably bonkers, aren't they?
0:09:14 > 0:09:18This one feels like there might be a theory behind it.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20That is just odd.
0:09:20 > 0:09:21Who milks her?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Do you have to get her on all fours in a stall and...?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Our drummer drinks his own piss.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Who does? Our drummer.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Why?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Cos he's fucking mental.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40Well, it's an amazing insight into the world of showbusiness, I have to say.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Before we hear any more revelations from Shaun there,
0:09:43 > 0:09:46let's find out about your showbiz demands,
0:09:46 > 0:09:50as we play a little game called Shaun Ryder's Rider.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02OK, teams, I have here some genuine celebrity riders -
0:10:02 > 0:10:04the things celebrities demand for their dressing rooms
0:10:04 > 0:10:07when they go on television shows like this one,
0:10:07 > 0:10:12one of which is Shaun Ryder's actual dressing room rider
0:10:12 > 0:10:14for being here tonight.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18I'll read them out and all you have to do is decide
0:10:18 > 0:10:20whether you think it's Shaun Ryder's rider
0:10:20 > 0:10:21or not Ryder's rider
0:10:21 > 0:10:24and therefore, someone else's reported rider.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Here we go.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29They demanded that their dressing room carpet be ironed.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Is that Shaun Ryder's rider or not Ryder's rider?
0:10:31 > 0:10:34No. Not? That's Kanye West.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37That is spot-on. Well done!
0:10:40 > 0:10:42They demanded a dressing room
0:10:42 > 0:10:44full of fluffy kittens, puppies and bunnies.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Is that Shaun Ryder's rider or not Ryder's rider?
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Is that Mariah Carey? Well done.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51That is not Ryder's rider.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Well done.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58I've interviewed Mariah Fair...Care...what's her name?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Went well, did it?
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I've interviewed Mariah Carey a few times
0:11:04 > 0:11:05and she's seriously weird.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07So I go into her dressing room
0:11:07 > 0:11:09and she's lying down.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Getting milked.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Her PR says to me,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18"Miss Carey will be doing this interview lying down."
0:11:18 > 0:11:22I said, "Will she indeed? Then I'll lie down with her."
0:11:22 > 0:11:24He said, "No, no, no, she won't."
0:11:24 > 0:11:27I said, "Well, either she sits up
0:11:27 > 0:11:29"or I lie down with her. One or the other."
0:11:29 > 0:11:32He says, "That's not going to happen. Miss Carey is tired."
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Oddly enough, the interview was called off.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40I did think that was going towards a really positive ending there, but not at all!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42What you should have done... Is?
0:11:42 > 0:11:43Turned the room around.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49OK, so there we go - that is not Ryder's rider.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53Here is a real diva one. This one really is.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55They demanded a banana,
0:11:55 > 0:11:58a bar of nut-free chocolate -
0:11:58 > 0:12:01not just chocolate, nut-free chocolate -
0:12:01 > 0:12:04and a can of full-fat Coke.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Ryder. So you say that's Shaun Ryder's rider? Yes.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Wrong. Ah!
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Sarah Millican's rider.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19But you hadn't finished reading it.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21GEORDIE: And just a little bit of heroin.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Just to take the edge off.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28You make me sound like Elmo!
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Next one. They demanded absolutely nothing.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37No matter how much we secretly tried to coax something out of his agent,
0:12:37 > 0:12:39not a sparkling water
0:12:39 > 0:12:41or even an apple.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Nothing? That was Ryder. He didn't ask for anything.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46That was Shaun Ryder's rider, yes!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50# I said see, see, see rider
0:12:51 > 0:12:54# Oh, see what you have done... #
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Anyway.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Well done, everybody, and thank you for playing Shaun Ryder's rider.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Let's get back to J-Lo.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10What is it she demands?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13I know someone that has the equivalent of OCD.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16They have to do it 20 times one way and 20 times the other way.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18That's OCD, yeah? Yeah.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20I would say that's the most logical.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23You believe that her coffee is only stirred
0:13:23 > 0:13:25anti-clockwise?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28You're absolutely right! The answer is C. Well done.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37J-Lo demands that her coffee is only stirred anti-clockwise.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39I imagine whichever direction it's been stirred,
0:13:39 > 0:13:40it's done thoroughly,
0:13:40 > 0:13:43so there's absolutely no trace of spit left in it.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48When she was growing up, J-Lo was nicknamed La Guitarra,
0:13:48 > 0:13:50because of her curvy shape.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54And because she was wooden and completely hollow inside.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59APPLAUSE
0:13:59 > 0:14:02And at the end of that round, Phill's team have one
0:14:02 > 0:14:04and Noel's team have one.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:10 > 0:14:12OK, it's time now for the Intros round.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Phill and Shaun, here are your intros.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18I am so shit at this!
0:14:20 > 0:14:23You just have to go dum-dum-dum-dum-dum...
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Dum dum dum dum dum dum...
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Keep doing that.
0:14:27 > 0:14:28Dum dum dum dum dum dum
0:14:28 > 0:14:31# Da da da da da da-da
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Dum dum dum dum dum dum
0:14:33 > 0:14:34# Da-na
0:14:34 > 0:14:36# Da da da Da
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Dum dum dum dum dum dum
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Just...
0:14:39 > 0:14:40SHAUN KEEPS DUMMING
0:14:42 > 0:14:44# Da-na Dum dum dum dum da-na
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Dum dum dum dum dum dum
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Just...dum dum dum dum dum dum!
0:14:47 > 0:14:48# Da-na
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Dum dum dum dum dum dum... We can do it - for the kids!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Dum dum dum dum dum dum
0:14:53 > 0:14:55# Da-na Dum dum dum dum da-na
0:14:55 > 0:14:56Dum dum dum dum dum dum...
0:14:56 > 0:14:58# Flash! Ah-aaaah... #
0:14:58 > 0:15:00# Saviour of the universe! #
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Gordon's alive! SHAUN STOPS DUMMING
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Don't throw the Ryder! I've just managed to get him set.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09You're confusing the Ryder!
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Dum dum dum dum dum dum... Not now! We're done!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19I don't want to make anyone feel bad,
0:15:19 > 0:15:22but I don't know if I got that one. Sorry. We're going to throw it.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Pointer Sisters, I'm So Excited?
0:15:25 > 0:15:29Oh, my goodness, you should be so excited, because that is the right answer! Well done.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Here is how it should have sounded.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34INTRO PLAYS
0:15:34 > 0:15:37This is even bleedin' worse, this!
0:15:40 > 0:15:41You know what?
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Elvis should have recorded that.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Next one, please.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Right, here we go.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53# Dee dee dee
0:15:53 > 0:15:55# Deeee
0:15:55 > 0:15:57# Da-doo, da-doo
0:15:57 > 0:15:59SHAUN BEATBOXES
0:15:59 > 0:16:07# Doo doo doo
0:16:07 > 0:16:09# Dooo
0:16:09 > 0:16:10# Doo Doo
0:16:10 > 0:16:13# Dur-nurr-nurr-nurr De dur-nurr-nurr... #
0:16:13 > 0:16:16It's not the Prodigy.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17The White Stripes.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I don't know.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21The Arctic Stripes...
0:16:21 > 0:16:22The Monkey People.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Young Things.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26The Teenagers. The Kids.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I don't know.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30At least he's honest.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32We'll pass it.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Is it the A Team? Not even close.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Linkin Park, Faint. And here's how it should have sounded,
0:16:38 > 0:16:39which was nothing like that.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41INTRO PLAYS
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I'm not surprised.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52I forgot the beat.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04That was Linkin Park with Faint.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07In 2012, 19 people were injured at a Linkin Park concert.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10That's the last time I go crowd-surfing.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Linkin Park were the first band to have over a billion hits on YouTube,
0:17:17 > 0:17:19but only because the video was called
0:17:19 > 0:17:21"Panda sneezing and two girls pooing in a cup".
0:17:26 > 0:17:28OK, Noel and Jaymi, here are yours
0:17:28 > 0:17:29for Sarah.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Cool.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35BOTH: # Doo doo Doo doo
0:17:35 > 0:17:38# Uh-ah-aaah
0:17:38 > 0:17:40# Ooh ooh
0:17:40 > 0:17:41# Tssh tssh tssh
0:17:41 > 0:17:43# Ooh ah-aaah
0:17:43 > 0:17:44# Ner ner ner nerrrr
0:17:44 > 0:17:45# Tssh tssh tssh... #
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Jaymi's doing B*Witched.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Yeah! # Ooh oooh-oooh! #
0:17:50 > 0:17:52# Uh oh-oh-ooohhh. #
0:17:52 > 0:17:53See, you did!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55What are you like?
0:17:55 > 0:17:56Um...
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Can I have it again, without any B*Witched?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02# Ba ba ah-aaah... #
0:18:04 > 0:18:05Is it B*Witched? I don't know.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Any takers?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Any idea?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11It actually was...
0:18:11 > 0:18:14The Cardigans with Erase And Rewind.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17And here's how it should have sounded.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18INTRO PLAYS
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Totally ruined.
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Right, next one.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34# Wah wah-ahhh
0:18:34 > 0:18:36EVIL LAUGHTER FROM NOEL
0:18:36 > 0:18:37# Wah wah-ahhh
0:18:37 > 0:18:39MORE LAUGHTER
0:18:41 > 0:18:43# Wah wah-ahhh... #
0:18:43 > 0:18:44# Dum dum dum dum
0:18:44 > 0:18:47# Dum dum dum dum dum Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
0:18:47 > 0:18:50# Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
0:18:50 > 0:18:53# Doo doo doo doo-doo
0:18:53 > 0:18:56# Rum-dum dum dum dum
0:18:56 > 0:18:59# Boo boo boo boo boo
0:18:59 > 0:19:01# Rum-pum pa-da-bum... #
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I love it, whatever it is.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I think it's awesome, especially the bit at the beginning,
0:19:07 > 0:19:08with the laughing.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11I don't know. I sort of like Take That.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Sorry.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14So we'll count you out there.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16I don't know. Sorry.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17OK. It was...
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21HE WHISTLES
0:19:21 > 0:19:24It was Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Absolutely right. You're right.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28And here's how it should have sounded.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31INTRO PLAYS
0:19:31 > 0:19:32EVIL LAUGHTER
0:19:36 > 0:19:37That was good, right?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41SARAH: Your bit was better, if anything.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I DO know it now!
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Good song.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49There you go. I know it now!
0:19:49 > 0:19:52So that was Gorillaz with Clint Eastwood.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55When performing with Gorillaz, Damon Albarn
0:19:55 > 0:19:58shares the stage with ludicrous two-dimensional characters.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01I know the feeling. I worked with Anthea Turner for years.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03MIXED AUDIENCE REACTION
0:20:07 > 0:20:10We also heard the Cardigans with Erase And Rewind.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14The Cardigans are from Scandinavia, and what is there not to love about Scandinavia?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Everybody loves a Swede, everybody loves a Danish
0:20:16 > 0:20:18and most of all, everybody loves a happy Finnish.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Round three is the Identity Parade.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Phill's team, how about some early '90s saxo-funk?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33For the audience in the studio and the viewers at home only,
0:20:33 > 0:20:37here is Chad Jackson with Hear The Drummer (Get Wicked).
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Hear the drummer get wicked!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Chad Jackson with Hear The Drummer (Get Wicked),
0:21:00 > 0:21:03but which of our line-up is the real Chad Jackson?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Is it Number 1 -
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Chad Jackson?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Number 2 - Michael Jackson?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Number 3 - Colin Jackson?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Number 4 - Basement Jackson?
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Or Number 5- Sorry, Miss Jackson, I'm For Real?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I hesitate to say...do you remember this one?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Yeah.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Good! I do.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31I remember the tune.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Admittedly, before the show, Shaun said,
0:21:33 > 0:21:38"They might put one of the Mondays on. I probably wouldn't recognise them".
0:21:39 > 0:21:41It is Bez! Number 2 is Bez!
0:21:42 > 0:21:46The most magnificent cheekbones I've ever seen on a human being.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49It's like a mixture of The Scream and Ian Brown.
0:21:54 > 0:21:55Come on!
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Do you remember this tune, Eamonn?
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Did you used to bust moves on the floor to this one in the '90s?
0:22:03 > 0:22:05IRISH ACCENT: I'm throwing some shapes!
0:22:07 > 0:22:09My feet are on fire!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Phill, you're honing in on...
0:22:13 > 0:22:154.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20Would the real Chad Jackson
0:22:20 > 0:22:22please step forward?
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Ohhhh!
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Currently just putting the finishing touches
0:22:31 > 0:22:34to the updated version of Hear The Drummer (Get Wicked),
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Chad Jackson, ladies and gentlemen.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Now, Noel, Jaymi and Sarah, great bit of music
0:22:44 > 0:22:45coming up for you.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48A bit of Geordie crooner pop.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51For the audience in the studio and you viewers at home only,
0:22:51 > 0:22:54here's Jimmy Nail with Ain't No Doubt.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58# I don't want nobody else I love you
0:22:58 > 0:22:59# She's lying
0:22:59 > 0:23:03# There won't be somebody else And that's true
0:23:03 > 0:23:04# She's lying
0:23:04 > 0:23:07# Say you'll always be my friend Sweet darling
0:23:09 > 0:23:12# Why does she pretend?
0:23:12 > 0:23:15# Ain't no doubt, it's plain to see
0:23:18 > 0:23:20# A woman like you's no good for me... #
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Let's just say she's carrying that tune.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Ain't No Doubt, Jimmy Nail.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29But which of our line-up is vocalist
0:23:29 > 0:23:35Sylvia Mason-James, who duetted with Jimmy on that song?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Is it Number 1 - Ain't No Doubt?
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Number 2 - Reasonable Doubt?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Number 3 - Twist And Doubt?
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Number 4 - Mrs Doubtfire?
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Or Number 5 - You Can Ask Her, But I Doubt It?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57When did the song come out? I don't know the song.
0:23:57 > 0:23:58Oh, bless you!
0:24:00 > 0:24:02It was a great song! Do you know who Jimmy Nail is?
0:24:02 > 0:24:04No. No? You're better off for it.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08I've got that one on my iPod.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12Have you? Yeah. Because I've got a playlist for when I drive home
0:24:12 > 0:24:14with loads of Geordie people on singing...
0:24:14 > 0:24:15What's on it?
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Chris Rea's on and Sting's on...
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Sting?! ..and Ant and Dec are on it.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22STING?!
0:24:22 > 0:24:25And Robson and Jerome.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29It just makes me drive home quicker.
0:24:32 > 0:24:343's got a wicked barnet.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Number 5 looks really pissed off. She's like...
0:24:37 > 0:24:39I don't think it's her.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Is that not....? That's sexy, isn't it?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Yes, it is. Not for me, but I think...
0:24:44 > 0:24:46What?! Are you mental?!
0:24:46 > 0:24:48No, just gay.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57I didn't know! The whole group?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Whole group - what, all four of us? Yeah. No.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03It's not that kind of party.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06You'd never get any work done.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12So, er, yes...3, maybe?
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Let's find out
0:25:14 > 0:25:18who is the real Sylvia Mason-James.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22It is Number 3, yes!
0:25:25 > 0:25:28She's still gigging across the UK.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Sylvia Mason-James!
0:25:30 > 0:25:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:34 > 0:25:36And at the end of that round, Phill's team
0:25:36 > 0:25:39have one, and Noel's team have four.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:44 > 0:25:46OK, a lot of work to do.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48We end with Next Lines.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Noel's team are in the lead so they get to go first.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53And your time starts...
0:25:53 > 0:25:54now.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56A little less conversation.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57A little more action.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58By? Elvis. Well done.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Don't ever say you're lonely.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Just lay your problems on me.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Carry You by Union J, yes!
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Strumming my pain with his fingers.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Singing my life with his words.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Yes. Killing Me Softly, Roberta Flack.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Everybody in the whole cell block.
0:26:19 > 0:26:20Was doing the jailhouse rock.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Mmm...
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Since I'm here, I gotta be real strict with y'all.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Dancing to the jailhouse rock.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31# Was dancing to the jailhouse rock. # Well done.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Jailhouse Rock by Elvis, yes!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34END OF ROUND JINGLE
0:26:36 > 0:26:37That was very, very good.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41What that means is you have got to get seven points to win.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Let's not waste any more time. Here we go.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45I'm so excited.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46I've just met Anthea Turner.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50I am so excited.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51IRISH ACCENT: Are you, now?
0:26:51 > 0:26:52Yes!
0:26:57 > 0:26:59And... I just can't hide it.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01That's I'm So Excited by the Pointer Sisters, yes.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04You ain't nothing but a hound dog.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Crying all the time.
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Yes. By Elvis.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Remember me?
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Shaun, do you remember anything?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16I remember two of them.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19GREG HUMS THE TUNE
0:27:19 > 0:27:21What's that - remember me?
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Remember me... HUMS
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Whatever they say.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26I'm the one who had your babies. By Blue Boy.
0:27:26 > 0:27:2824-hour party people.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32Plastic face can't smile the white out. Well done.
0:27:32 > 0:27:33Happy Mondays. Come on!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:40 > 0:27:42END OF ROUND JINGLE
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Was that performance enough?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47The final scores...
0:27:47 > 0:27:48Phill's team...
0:27:50 > 0:27:51..have four.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53And Noel's team are the winners with seven!
0:27:53 > 0:27:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:59 > 0:28:00So, there you go, that is it.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04So thank you to Phill, Shaun Ryder, Greg McHugh.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:07 > 0:28:10To Noel, to Jaymi from Union J and Sarah Millican.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:14 > 0:28:18And as you enjoy the credits, we're going to write down some important events from the '90s,
0:28:18 > 0:28:20to see if Shaun Ryder remembers any of them.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24I've been Eamonn Holmes
0:28:24 > 0:28:26and Elvis has left the building. Good night.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd