:00:00. > :00:23.This programme contains some strong language.
:00:24. > :00:37.Welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Please welcome your hosts for this
:00:38. > :00:49.evening, Rizzle Kicks! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I'm Harley
:00:50. > :01:29.from Rizzle Kicks. On Phil's team tonight... # Running
:01:30. > :01:33.around, robbing banks... Is a singer from the Fun Loving Criminals, a
:01:34. > :01:35.band whose career we've been following since the very
:01:36. > :01:38.beginning... Of this sentence. It's Huey Morgan!
:01:39. > :01:47.And a presenter who came in at number 29 in this year's FHM sexiest
:01:48. > :01:50.woman poll. Personally, I find it ridiculous that in this day and age,
:01:51. > :01:53.women are treated with such objectification and also she's
:01:54. > :01:55.easily in the top ten. It's Laura Whitmore.
:01:56. > :02:24.And a comedian who, according to reviews in Edinburgh this summer,
:02:25. > :02:27.had a tremendously successful fringe. It's a shame he followed it
:02:28. > :02:33.up with that tremendously unsuccessful mullet. It's Paul Foot.
:02:34. > :02:38.So, we begin with Buzzcocks Advisory Explicit Content. We're going to
:02:39. > :02:43.show you a series of pop videos that have been bleeped and blurred by us.
:02:44. > :02:45.All you have to do is decide which of the videos actually needed
:02:46. > :02:48.censoring due to explicit content. Phil, Huey and Laura, take a look at
:02:49. > :02:55.this. # I don't care who's wrong or right
:02:56. > :02:59.# I don't really want to BLEEP no more # True love's talking baby #
:03:00. > :03:02.Let's sleep on it tonight # I don't really want to BLEEP no more # This
:03:03. > :03:11.is time for letting go... # # BLEEP # Take your mama out all
:03:12. > :03:38.night # So # # Bob the builder # Can we BLEEP
:03:39. > :03:40.it? # Bob the builder # Yes, we can # Bob the builder # Can we BLEEP it?
:03:41. > :03:54.# Bob the builder # Yes, we can. That was the Scissor Sisters, Tina
:03:55. > :04:00.Turner, Green Day and Bob The Builder. But who was being explicit
:04:01. > :04:09.in their pop video? The little puppet fellow at the end. Dirty
:04:10. > :04:16.plasticine bastard! I've watched that show. I have a young son.
:04:17. > :04:20.Really? Do you there? He wakes up early and I watch Bob The Builder
:04:21. > :04:24.with him. And they don't curse. I wish it was Tina Turner. She says it
:04:25. > :04:41.with such force, doesn't she? She really does. It would
:04:42. > :04:45.with such force, doesn't she? She implies lesbian sex. Were they two
:04:46. > :04:49.ladies? It was a gentleman and a lady but they are named after a
:04:50. > :04:54.lesbian sex act. You say lesbian sex act. I thought you meant like a
:04:55. > :04:57.famous, like Vaudeville... Like in the 1930s, two lesbians came on and
:04:58. > :05:00.did their lesbian sex act. "Ladies and gentlemen, "you've enjoyed those
:05:01. > :05:04.war songs from Vera Lynn. "Now it's time for the lesbian sex act."
:05:05. > :05:08.They're going to fire each other out of a cannon! If you actually got two
:05:09. > :05:15.cannons and fired lesbians at each other...
:05:16. > :05:28.Is that what they built that thing for in Switzerland? That is why they
:05:29. > :05:32.built that CERN thing. Lesbians, there is not a lot that they can do
:05:33. > :05:52.with each other. That is why they have built that
:05:53. > :05:54.with each other. That is why they doesn't go in a circle, it goes down
:05:55. > :05:58.to Hammersmith. The lesbians are never connecting. The only time
:05:59. > :06:19.there is any chance of them connecting is Edgeware Road. I don't
:06:20. > :06:28.think it was Tina Turner. It wasn't Robert builder. We are going for
:06:29. > :06:32.Green Day. You are correct. Could you tell us why the lead singer was
:06:33. > :06:37.banned from taking a flight out of California? Was it because his
:06:38. > :06:41.trousers were too baggy, his hair was too messy or because his nose
:06:42. > :07:02.was too runny? Have you ever been was too runny? Have you ever been
:07:03. > :07:07.or something? You are wrong. It was actually baggy trousers. He was
:07:08. > :07:15.banned from taking off because his trousers were deemed too baggy. A
:07:16. > :07:20.Green Day is a day when you do nothing apart from sit around
:07:21. > :07:25.smoking marijuana. Fun Loving Criminals are currently in the
:07:26. > :07:27.middle of a green decade. But at this and tell us which of the pop
:07:28. > :07:48.stars needed censoring. # I'm (BLEEP)-ing in Memphis.
:07:49. > :08:34.# (BLEEP)-ing in Memphis... and feeling like i'm (bleep)-ing.
:08:35. > :08:57.Who was genuinely being explicit? I feel I know the answer, but I want
:08:58. > :09:00.to confer with my team. Do you know who they are? Is Olivia Newton-John
:09:01. > :09:23.to do with Elton John? He who they are? Is Olivia Newton-John
:09:24. > :09:42.some snacks and watch Grease. Can we come? No. Discrimination. What?
:09:43. > :09:47.Sorry, no lesbians. What was Katy Perry up to? You met her once.
:09:48. > :09:52.That's an embarrassing story. I did meet her, when she was married to my
:09:53. > :09:55.friend, Russell. I went to a party. I don't know anything about modern
:09:56. > :10:02.music or anything. I didn't think it was rude. Going to somebody's house,
:10:03. > :10:06.somebody is a quantity surveyor. You don't read up about quantity
:10:07. > :10:11.surveying. You say, tell us about the job. I did the same thing with
:10:12. > :10:13.Katy Perry. I said, I understand you are a famous pop star. She didn't
:10:14. > :10:32.like the fact I didn't are a famous pop star. She didn't
:10:33. > :10:36.know. It is when you line up buildings, when you make highway
:10:37. > :10:40.ramp somethings. I thought it was just when you look at something and
:10:41. > :10:48.you have to guess how much it weighs. Like you have to enter a
:10:49. > :11:01.contest to guess how many jellybeans there are? If you guys are going to
:11:02. > :11:14.be in the music business, you need to know how much $10 million ways.
:11:15. > :11:18.They get paid-in jellybeans. I think I know what the answer is, but that
:11:19. > :11:42.doesn't seem like it is the point of the show.
:11:43. > :11:45.doesn't seem like it is the point of bonus point, can you tell us what
:11:46. > :11:53.she recently sang about that got her into trouble? Was it A. Her breasts
:11:54. > :11:58.looked like they were drawn by Disney? B. Her armpits smell like
:11:59. > :12:04.McDonald's. Or C. Her joiner tastes of Pepsi? Is this, like, she sang...
:12:05. > :12:10.One of those options was something she got in trouble for singing.
:12:11. > :12:15.Really? Yes. I like joining us and Pepsi. I do not see a problem there,
:12:16. > :12:18.really. Was it a branding thing? Like Coca-Cola rang up and said,
:12:19. > :12:22."Hey..." Come on. Maybe it was one of those tests. Is it Pepsi or is it
:12:23. > :12:26.Coke? The secret ingredient in Coca-Cola, they won't tell us about.
:12:27. > :12:29.A little hint of joiner in the Coca-Cola. So, what are we thinking?
:12:30. > :12:33.I know that one of the lyrics is that her joiner tastes like Pepsi.
:12:34. > :12:52.Wow! Why would you say such a thing? I don't know. And how
:12:53. > :12:55.Wow! Why would you say such a thing? you? I do know, and it's C. Yes, you
:12:56. > :12:58.are right. The right answer is C. Lalas new song Cola contains the
:12:59. > :13:04.controversial line, "My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola." Hm-mm! At the end
:13:05. > :13:11.of that round, Phil's team have one, Noel's team have two.
:13:12. > :13:17.Now time for the intros round. For this round, each team has a Down
:13:18. > :13:21.With The Trumpets trump card which they can use at any point, and we
:13:22. > :13:28.will help that team out by playing the intro on these, our very own
:13:29. > :13:32.trumpets. Oh! Phil and Huey, here are yours for Laura. I have been
:13:33. > :13:36.watching the show for years and this is my favourite round ever, and I
:13:37. > :13:38.always hate it when people get it wrong because it's really easy, and
:13:39. > :14:11.now I'm shitting myself! With? Pumped Up Kicks. You are
:14:12. > :14:17.correct. And this is how it should have sounded. It's a lot of stress,
:14:18. > :14:21.isn't it? I have to do it in a second, I'm not sure I can. Are you
:14:22. > :14:35.doing it, too? Wait, are they singing it to you? OK.
:14:36. > :14:43.# Daa-daaaa # Ba-da-da-daa-da-dam # Ba-da-da-da-dam.
:14:44. > :14:52.There's that really great Rizzle Kicks song! Down With The Trumpets.
:14:53. > :15:13.Yes! Yes, that is correct, and here's how it should have sounded.
:15:14. > :15:15.Yes! Yes, that is correct, and enjoyed tremendous success as a duo,
:15:16. > :15:24.but next year Jordan is going solo. What? Sorry, you had to find out
:15:25. > :15:27.somehow. We recently had a Twitter spat with Wiley. Basically, Wiley
:15:28. > :15:31.reacted angrily to a harmless joke about his single and it went all a
:15:32. > :15:34.bit out of hand. Anyway, it's probably a good idea while we have
:15:35. > :15:36.this platform, speaking to the entire nation, to take the
:15:37. > :15:39.opportunity to apologise wholeheartedly to Wiley for any
:15:40. > :15:43.offence caused to him, we really didn't mean to upset you. I'm
:15:44. > :15:49.joking, of course, I am joking. But you are insane. Noel and Lissie,
:15:50. > :15:54.here are yours for Paul. There you are. We are allowed to stand up if
:15:55. > :15:58.you want. You are definitely going to get this one. Yes. OK. One, two,
:15:59. > :16:40.three, four. Well, most songs are about sex or
:16:41. > :16:43.love or something, aren't they? That one didn't sound like it. It sounded
:16:44. > :16:49.more like... Let's mend that dovecot. Dovecot? The dovecot. You
:16:50. > :16:53.know, where the doves go. The homes of the doves. Like a cot with a
:16:54. > :16:58.little bed that it lies on. They would have a bed in, obviously.
:16:59. > :17:02.They've got a bed, of course they've got a bed. They've got tea-making
:17:03. > :17:11.facilities. They've even got a Corby trouser press. That's hardly the
:17:12. > :17:14.point, love! The point is the dovecote is where the doves live,
:17:15. > :17:15.it's named after doves. Like Dove Cottage? Dovecottaging is a
:17:16. > :17:38.different thing. Cottage? Dovecottaging is a
:17:39. > :17:40.Goes On. By? The Whisperers. Yes! That is correct. Here's how it
:17:41. > :17:52.should have sounded. Now let's see your next one, please.
:17:53. > :17:56.This one I may or may not remember how it goes. We'll see. Would it
:17:57. > :18:03.help if I did it a bit with you? Yes, it would. I feel awkward just
:18:04. > :18:05.sitting there. Why don't you do it? I'll sit here, I'm jet-lagged. I'll
:18:06. > :18:15.be you. "Oh, yes, I know this one." Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Ba-choo!
:18:16. > :18:21.Ba-choo! HE MUMBLES Cha-cha! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Wa-whoa!
:18:22. > :18:24.Wa-whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Woooo! Da-da-da-da-dah! Da-da-da-da-dah!
:18:25. > :18:44.Thank you. Is it Ocean Colour Scene Ohhhh! Oh,
:18:45. > :18:55.Thank you. Is it Ocean Colour Scene by the band 100 Mile High City?
:18:56. > :19:08.That's the correct answer! And here's how it should have sounded.
:19:09. > :19:18.Right, so that was Ocean Colour Scene with 100 Mile High City. Ocean
:19:19. > :19:21.Colour Scene were famous for offering to fight the entire crowd
:19:22. > :19:24.at gigs. They don't do that these days, four against one is hardly
:19:25. > :19:27.fair. Ocean Colour Scene had one massive album then faded into
:19:28. > :19:31.obscurity. I know what you're thinking, that'll happen to us, but
:19:32. > :19:36.I don't think so. Our album wasn't that massive. Round three is the
:19:37. > :19:36.identity parade. Phil's team, how about some
:19:37. > :19:58.identity parade. Phil's team, how feel good) # Just say I really want
:19:59. > :20:02.ya...# That was Kavanagh with I Can Make You Feel Good. Can you? Well,
:20:03. > :20:06.which of our line-up is Kavanagh? Is it number one, Kavanagh. Number two,
:20:07. > :20:15.Kavanagh laugh. Number three, Kav-a-go on that. Number four,
:20:16. > :20:22.Kav-ril Lavigne. Or number five, Kav-ing a gang bang. Phil's team. We
:20:23. > :20:26.have a ludicrous advantage here. I've seen Kavanagh in concert in
:20:27. > :20:31.Dublin, circa 1995. And I think I know the guy who's number three, I
:20:32. > :20:34.think I've seen you out before. Number one haven't got any laces in
:20:35. > :20:37.his shoes. Obviously the wardrobe department just said, "Oh, we've run
:20:38. > :20:42.out of laces. "Just number one, he's not the real one, it doesn't
:20:43. > :20:46.matter." Maybe they just think he's, like, he's a suicide risk. I can
:20:47. > :21:17.understand why, at this point in the locking show, but...
:21:18. > :21:23.understand why, at this point in the find out. Now writing new material,
:21:24. > :21:25.Kavanagh, ladies and gentlemen! Now, Noel, Lissie and Paul, how about a
:21:26. > :21:40.little early 80s mod revival? For the audience only, here are The
:21:41. > :21:44.Lambrettas with Poison Ivy. That was The Lambrettas with Poison Ivy, but
:21:45. > :21:46.which one of our line-up is lead guitarist Doug Sanders. Is it number
:21:47. > :21:53.one, Lambretta. Number two, Lam-chop. Number three, Lam-brini.
:21:54. > :22:14.Number four, Frank Lam-pard. Or number five, Silence of the Lams.
:22:15. > :22:23.Number four, Frank Lam-pard. Or "What's this locking nonsense?" We
:22:24. > :22:28.have got this week, Paul is like our little sniffer dog. Go and have a
:22:29. > :22:37.little sniff, mate. Get amongst them. Four looks all sad. Like he's
:22:38. > :22:41.had a sad life. And then just once at work he just said something, he
:22:42. > :22:48.didn't mean it but he made a racist comment. It was a joke, it was a
:22:49. > :22:52.joke, but it was misinterpreted. And then he had to go to a tribunal and
:22:53. > :22:58.he lost his job. Get amongst number five. Number five, he looks very
:22:59. > :23:06.wise. And also, he looks a little bit like a beautiful bird of prey.
:23:07. > :23:25.See bit like a beautiful bird of prey.
:23:26. > :23:40.angle. Number three looks like a cheeky Cockney. He looks like he's
:23:41. > :23:44.had a couple of gay experiences. A long time ago, long time ago he's
:23:45. > :23:47.had them! So who do you reckon it is? It's number three. It's
:23:48. > :23:52.undeniably number three. So are you guys going to go with number three?
:23:53. > :24:00.Let's find out. Would the real Doug Sanders please step forward? Now
:24:01. > :24:01.working on new material as the frontman of the reformed Lambrettas,
:24:02. > :24:11.Doug Sanders, ladies and gentlemen! And at the end of the round, Noel's
:24:12. > :24:16.team have four. And Phil's team are in the lead with five.
:24:17. > :24:37.team have four. And Phil's team are love but a secondhand emotion?" Yes,
:24:38. > :24:43.What's Love Got To Do With It, Tina Turner. "Stick them up, punk." "It's
:24:44. > :24:52.the fun lovin' criminals." Yeah. "Jungle is massive! Jungle is
:24:53. > :24:56.massive!" I don't know that shit. It was, "Wicked, wicked, jungle is
:24:57. > :25:01.massive." Yeah, whatever. Who cares. "Jeremy Kyle got the nation
:25:02. > :25:10.laughing." This is your song? Yes. No. Maybe. Yeah, it is, so give us
:25:11. > :25:14.the point. "I hurt my lower lumbar, you'll know we'll never get far."
:25:15. > :25:17."Riding around in a stolen police car." Fun Lovin' criminals. You all
:25:18. > :25:21.right with that? Yeah, I'm totally all right with that. You seem upset
:25:22. > :25:24.about it. I'm not. I just thought you guys would actually doing
:25:25. > :25:44.something different for a change. Not give me my own lyrics over
:25:45. > :25:45.something different for a change. Pick some shit? "Get ready for the
:25:46. > :25:50.next episode." Snoop Dogg... No, what's the next lines. It's next
:25:51. > :25:58.lines. Oh! "Cos we ain't got no love." No. "Oh, Lieutenant, I ain't
:25:59. > :26:01.pussy put my ass up all night." No. "Baby, I can make you feel good."
:26:02. > :26:05.Then someone goes, "I can make you feel good." Someone goes, "I can
:26:06. > :26:09.make you feel good." That is the line afterwards. Backing vocals
:26:10. > :26:13.aren't included. I did not know the rules. OK, well, now you know the
:26:14. > :26:19.rules, can you answer the question? Someone should have told me. "Let me
:26:20. > :26:25.lay this good love on you." Who's that? Are you all right? Why are you
:26:26. > :26:29.so annoyed about the next line game? Let's just go on with this. So angry
:26:30. > :26:33.about it. You know you've just got to sing the next line. We're not
:26:34. > :26:35.trying to piss you off. No, no, you're not upsetting me. It's fine.
:26:36. > :26:57.OK. you're not upsetting me. It's fine.
:26:58. > :27:03.ain't seen me upset. I know. You don't want to see me when I'm angry!
:27:04. > :27:08.I think I need to go to A, to be honest. Yeah, yeah. Right, so, eh...
:27:09. > :27:11.Right, so Noel's team, you need five points to win, but I'd maybe suggest
:27:12. > :27:16.not winning. Otherwise, Huey might get a bit cross.
:27:17. > :27:27.OK. Your time starts now. "Mama do the hum..." The Humpty-hump. Close.