0:00:06 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Welcome to the Never Mind The Buzzcocks Sexy Special.
0:00:38 > 0:00:42Oh, my God, it's Michael Bolton!
0:00:42 > 0:00:46# When a man loves a woman
0:00:48 > 0:00:51# Deep down in his soul
0:00:51 > 0:00:58# She can bring him such misery... #
0:00:58 > 0:01:01CHEERING
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Hello and welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09I'm Michael Bolton. CHEERING
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Yeah!
0:01:12 > 0:01:17Now, before we start, I may not have my trademark hair any more,
0:01:17 > 0:01:19but don't worry, ladies, tonight I promise
0:01:19 > 0:01:23I will still be employing both of my trademark moves.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25The smouldering Jesus...
0:01:25 > 0:01:43# Tell me, how am I supposed to live without you? #
0:01:43 > 0:01:48# How can we start over...? # LAUGHTER
0:01:48 > 0:01:49OK.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54You're welcome.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56On Phill's team tonight...
0:01:56 > 0:01:58# Some girls wanna dance in the spotlight... #
0:01:58 > 0:02:02..is a singer who was recently in a film called The Perfect Wave,
0:02:02 > 0:02:06which in fact was a documentary about my hair in the mid-'80s.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07It's Diana Vickers.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15# Got the eye of the tiger... #
0:02:15 > 0:02:18And a presenter who is so brilliant at maths,
0:02:18 > 0:02:20on her last birthday
0:02:20 > 0:02:23she made 51 plus 1 equal 39.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Again. It's Carol Vorderman.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32And on Noel's team tonight...
0:02:32 > 0:02:34# But some... # CHEERING
0:02:34 > 0:02:54..is a singer from the boy band Westlife,
0:02:54 > 0:02:55# Oh, no
0:02:55 > 0:02:57# Not, not, not me... #
0:02:57 > 0:03:00And the stand-up comedian who has been described
0:03:00 > 0:03:03as the person you'd most like to meet down the pub.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07What? A drunk woman on the rebound who loves '80s power ballads?
0:03:07 > 0:03:09It's Seann Walsh.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16So, Shane, did Westlife have a trademark move, like a power grab?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19It kind of goes - it kind of goes something like this.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20You're sitting...
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Key change is about to come...
0:03:29 > 0:03:31APPLAUSE Yes!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Did someone improvise standing up? Did someone just go...
0:03:41 > 0:04:03No, no, no! What the fuck was that, when you got up?!
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Or is that Boyzone?
0:04:05 > 0:04:06# If I let you go... #
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Oh, that's your move. That's like when you're at a clothes shop
0:04:09 > 0:04:11and you're trying to get the clothes out of the way of the rail.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14What's the getting up thing? I don't get up that much.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16You've got to sit and kind of concentrate,
0:04:16 > 0:04:17cos you've got to do it all at once,
0:04:17 > 0:04:19don't want to get up ahead of each other.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24So, if we say, "Three, two, one," then we're all going to get up. Yeah?
0:04:24 > 0:04:25OK. OK. On one, though, yeah?
0:04:25 > 0:04:30So, it's like, three, key change is coming, two, one, and we all...
0:04:30 > 0:04:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Actually, Seann, I gotta say, you've got a great look.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44It's very Boltonesque.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47LAUGHTER Thank you.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Let's see a picture.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52AUDIENCE: Woo!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16We need some smoke...
0:05:16 > 0:05:19we need some wind...
0:05:19 > 0:05:21and we need some music.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26# When a man loves a woman... # OK.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28First, spread...
0:05:28 > 0:05:30APPLAUSE
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Oh, you nailed it.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37He's a pro, man, he's a pro. You nailed it.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Yeah!
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Bravo.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Wow.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I feel sexy, thank you.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I think we're going to begin now.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54This is Round One, called Sorry, No Refunds.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Noel, Shane and Seann, check this out.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02# The things I think I did
0:06:03 > 0:06:24# I do, I think I did... #
0:06:24 > 0:06:27B, his nut allergy?
0:06:27 > 0:06:29C, a swarm of grasshoppers?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33You've got one lone grasshopper.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Which is meant to be loads.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37They ruined the gig. Maybe they were tutting.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40THEY TUT
0:06:43 > 0:06:46THEY TUT RAPIDLY
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Right, I'm going off, I've had enough of this.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50You've met Paul, haven't you?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53I actually did meet Paul. Yeah, I did meet Sir Paul once.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55It was actually on my honeymoon.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58You got married to Paul McCartney? I did.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01We were in the Maldives, and basically the hotel staff said,
0:07:01 > 0:07:03um, "You've a very famous neighbour," you know?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06And I was like, "Who is it?" They were like, "Sir Paul McCartney."
0:07:06 > 0:07:07I was like... Wow!
0:07:07 > 0:07:10When I actually got to meet him, It was a bit of a weird moment.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I was going into the spa to get a massage...
0:07:13 > 0:07:32You're getting very close with Paul on this trip. Yeah!
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Have you met Paul, Michael? I haven't been introduced to him, no.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40No, really?! I've come close, but... What, come close...
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Someone went, "Hey, come and meet... Oh, no, don't bother. It's fine."
0:07:44 > 0:07:47I saw him on a bus in Soho, actually. Did you?!
0:07:47 > 0:07:49I said to him, "How are you getting a bus?!" And he said,
0:07:49 > 0:07:52"No-one thinks, cos you're so famous, that you'd get a bus.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54"So I just get the bus, it's easier."
0:07:54 > 0:07:55And I thought, "Oh, my God,"
0:07:55 > 0:07:57and then I realised it wasn't him, it was just an Indian guy.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04So, what do we think? I think it's the float.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07With the toucan on it. We're going to go with the float.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09We're going to go with the float. You are wrong.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Agh!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12For God's sake! It's the grasshoppers, isn't it?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15It is C, a swarm of grasshoppers.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Earlier this year a swarm of grasshoppers invaded the stage
0:08:19 > 0:08:24and forced him to complete his three-hour gig covered in insects.
0:08:24 > 0:08:43Now, if you're wondering what a Brazilian grasshopper looks like,
0:08:43 > 0:08:47That's right, it's musical button-presser Moby.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49# Cos we are all made of stars
0:08:49 > 0:08:51# Cos we are all made of stars... #
0:08:51 > 0:08:55That was Moby with We Are All Made Of Stars.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58But who attacked Moby on stage in Toronto?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Was it A, a man with a harpoon?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04B, Bryan Adams?
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Or C, a man dressed as a ten-foot tree?
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Bryan Adams is obviously Canadian. He's tiny.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14This is actually his guitar.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Tiny, tiny guitar! Yeah.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19NOEL: I saw him in Soho once, and he had a motorbike helmet on,
0:09:19 > 0:09:22and his head was so small it was like an otter's head.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25When he opened his visor, there was sort of room, you know...?
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Loads of room in there.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Maybe he was living in it.
0:09:29 > 0:09:30It was his house.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32This is how big he is...
0:09:33 > 0:09:54This, apparently, represents... I don't know. Bryan Adams' garden.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56We think it was a man, Mr Bolton, dressed as a tree.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58And you are right.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00It is C. Yeah!
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Moby has revealed that a man dressed as a giant ten-foot tree
0:10:07 > 0:10:10once ran onto a stage and wrestled him onto the ground.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Luckily, Moby was in the middle of a song,
0:10:13 > 0:10:15so he had two minutes until he had to click on the mouse
0:10:15 > 0:10:17to start the next song.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23At the end of the round, Noel's team have done nothing.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26They have nothing. They are worth nothing.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30And Phill's team have one.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39Now, teams, how do you fancy some quick-fire questions all about me?
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Yeah! Oh-ho-ho!
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Let's play the Lightning Bolton Round.
0:10:43 > 0:11:02# Whoa-oa Lightning Bolton. #
0:11:02 > 0:11:04That's not how it works.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05I think it's false.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Wrong, it is true. Oh!
0:11:08 > 0:11:11True or false...
0:11:11 > 0:11:14was originally going to be "maybe it's Michael Bolton."
0:11:14 > 0:11:16# Maybe it's Maybelline. #
0:11:16 > 0:11:18But then I cut my hair.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19True or false?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22# Maybe it's Michael Bolton. #
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Sound convincing?
0:11:23 > 0:11:26# Maybe it's Michael Bolton. #
0:11:26 > 0:11:27CHEERING
0:11:29 > 0:11:31It was false.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32True or false...
0:11:32 > 0:11:34I am actually Dr Bolton.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Michael, say, "Pop your top off."
0:11:37 > 0:11:39I beg your pardon? Say...
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Say, "Pop your top off."
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Pop your top off.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44He's not a doctor.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48You got it just cos you're Michael Bolton,
0:11:48 > 0:11:50like a doctor thing with the cap and all that.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52You probably did, didn't you? You probably did.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53CAROL: Yeah. We trust you, Michael.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14I knew I wasn't going to get through this line.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18In the Disney film Pocahontas.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20True or false? False!
0:12:20 > 0:12:23I don't know, he can reach. False! He's got a range! He's got a range.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Wherever you think he's going, he's going one higher. Yeah.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28I don't think it is, no. I think it's false.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29It is false. Yes!
0:12:29 > 0:12:31It is false.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34All right, everyone, thanks for playing the Lightning Bolton Round.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Thank you.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39# Whoa-oa Lightning Bolton. #
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Time, now, for the Intros Round.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Phill and Diana, here are your intros for Carol.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46Right.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49One, two... Three, four...
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Pack-a-didda, pack-a-didda, pack-a-didda...
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Beep-bo bap-ba-da da-didda beep-bo bap-ba-da da-didda...
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Pack-a-didda, pack-a-didda...
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Do-do, do da-didda do-do... Pack-a-didda, pack-a-didda...
0:12:59 > 0:13:21Do-do-do, do-do-do dicka-di-do... Pack-a-didda, pack-a-didda...
0:13:21 > 0:13:22PHILL: They're back!
0:13:22 > 0:13:25They are back!
0:13:25 > 0:13:26It's not Anal Danger.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Oh, who had money on Bolton saying that tonight?
0:13:32 > 0:13:35I want to hear him singing it.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40# It's not Anal Danger, it's...
0:13:40 > 0:13:41# Anal Danger. #
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Woo, yeah!
0:13:43 > 0:13:44Noel...
0:13:44 > 0:13:47APPLAUSE
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Woo!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Was it Bazzam by Gedebbidorm?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55No, it wasn't Garbagarbagarba, no.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59That was Disclosure by White Noise,
0:13:59 > 0:14:01and here is how it should have sounded.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04MUSIC: "White Noise" by Disclosure
0:14:30 > 0:14:34BOTH: Wooo...
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Dum, dum-dum-dum...
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Dum, dum, dum, dum-dum-dum...
0:14:41 > 0:14:46Dum, dum, dum, dum-dum-dum... SHE IMITATES A TRUMPET
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Dum, dum, dum, dum-dum dah...
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Dat-dat!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Oh, Mum!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Oh, I know that one!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Give me something, Carol.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Da-da da-da-da...
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Just give me an hour.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04NOEL: Carol, you need a blackboard to work this out.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08I think we have to go over to the other team right now. Noel?
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Baby Give It Up?
0:15:09 > 0:15:12# Give it up, give it up Baby give it up... #
0:15:12 > 0:15:13That is correct!
0:15:15 > 0:15:17And here is how it should have sounded.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20MUSIC: "Give It Up" by KC The Sunshine Band
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Sorry.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42are officially the funkiest disco band of all time.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46They're so disco, even their testicles are mirrored.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Noel and Shane, here are yours for Seann.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Let's do this. The lion doesn't...
0:15:55 > 0:15:58He's never heard music, he doesn't know what this is.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59No idea.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02All right, on, two, three, four...
0:16:02 > 0:16:04HE IMITATES ELECTRIC GUITAR
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Bam!
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Bam!
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I just love you guys, yeah?
0:16:13 > 0:16:16I just really love you, do you know what I mean?
0:16:16 > 0:16:17I've always loved you.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20That's kind of what the lead singer does, in the band. Yeah.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23If it's an indie song, it's probably someone going...
0:16:23 > 0:16:27HE YELPS VOCALS
0:16:28 > 0:16:30# With the arms behind the back
0:16:30 > 0:16:50# Oh oh oh oh... #
0:16:50 > 0:16:54If necessary, we will hand this over to Phill's team.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55I know it, I don't know...
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Nobody knows, nobody knows.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01It was Kaiser Chefs... Kaiser Chiefs...
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Kaiser Chefs.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10# Every day I love you less and less
0:17:10 > 0:17:14# And I love my chopping board
0:17:14 > 0:17:17# Oh oh oh... #
0:17:17 > 0:17:19# What's that coming over the hill?
0:17:19 > 0:17:20# It is a blender
0:17:20 > 0:17:23# It is a blender. #
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Ahh. What a band!
0:17:26 > 0:17:31It was the Kaiser Chiefs, Everyday I Love You Less And Less.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33And here is how it should have sounded.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36MUSIC: "Everyday I Love You Less And Less" by Kaiser Chiefs
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Ba ba-da ba-da.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Ba ba-da ba-da. Dood-oo-doo.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Ba ba-da ba-da. So smooth.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10RAPS: You'd like to see me fly now. Ba ba-da ba-da.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13You'd like to see the tiger. Ba ba-da ba-da.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16You'd like to see my eyes roll. Ba ba-da ba-da.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Because this is 2013 we be rockin' out the streets,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21we be going out there, we be taking it to the flavours
0:18:21 > 0:18:22and hitting the beats.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25You know what I'm saying? It's definitely not that.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Is it not that? Oh, right.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30It's a sexy song. It's a sexy song.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Seann, I'm a little upset you don't know this one,
0:18:32 > 0:18:34because I thought you were my son.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Ah... There might be a clue there.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Yeah, yeah.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41It's That Sexy Look You Give Me by Michael Bolton.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42We have turned it over to Phill.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Is it Touch Me There?
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Yes, that's close enough.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Can I Touch You There? Michael Bolton.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50And this is how it should have sounded.
0:18:50 > 0:19:09MUSIC: Can I Touch You There? by Michael Bolton
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Oh, my God, it's so sexy.
0:19:12 > 0:19:13# Baby... # MUSIC FADES
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Keep playing it! Keep playing the song.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18MUSIC RESUMES # Come to me... #
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Carol.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29People often ask, "Why did you cut off your magnificent hair?"
0:19:29 > 0:19:30I didn't cut it, ladies.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32It smouldered off.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41Now, I've written one or two love songs in my time, like...
0:19:41 > 0:19:46# How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49# How can we start over when the fighting never ends?
0:19:49 > 0:19:51# Oh, baby. #
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Of course... APPLAUSE
0:19:56 > 0:19:59..now I'm older, and I realise the answer is, just pop a Viagra,
0:19:59 > 0:20:21close your eyes and think of someone else.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I don't know what that means.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Round Three is the Identity Parade.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Phill's team, how about some classic kiddie party pop?
0:20:37 > 0:20:38For the audience only,
0:20:38 > 0:20:42here are Marvin and Tamara with Groove Machine.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44# G to the R, double O, V-E
0:20:44 > 0:20:45# Here on that groove machine
0:20:45 > 0:20:47# Oh, oh
0:20:47 > 0:20:49# Let's get this party jumping
0:20:49 > 0:20:51# Bumping Let's get it jumpin'
0:20:51 > 0:20:52# G to the R, double O, V-E
0:20:52 > 0:20:55# Got all my crew and me
0:20:55 > 0:20:59# Here we go for the whole weekend. #
0:20:59 > 0:21:02That was Marvin and Tamara with Groove Machine.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07But which of our line-up is the now-grown-up Marvin Simmonds?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Is it number one, groove machine...
0:21:09 > 0:21:29number two, love machine...
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Vickers went off like a car alarm when she heard that, didn't you?
0:21:31 > 0:21:34You did. Yeah, I didn't really know I knew it, but I knew it!
0:21:34 > 0:21:37You did! # G to the R to the groovy E. #
0:21:37 > 0:21:39I loved it.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42I can't remember the video. I can't remember Tamara, either.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Ahh. Um... This isn't going to help us.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Tamara's not there. She's not there.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Tamara's not there.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51I know number four, I think. If not, I've met him before.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I know him. Number four, for shame.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00I think it might be number one, now. Number one. What?!
0:22:00 > 0:22:04No, just pick one, I don't mean ONE, I mean, like, just pick one of them
0:22:04 > 0:22:06and let me know what happened.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10If you get it wrong it's not the end of the world.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Pick someone.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14I'm so indecisive.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15REALLY?!
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Guys, I actually have a plane I have to catch.
0:22:39 > 0:22:40Watch.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Ohh...
0:22:42 > 0:22:44No!
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Now working as a financial adviser, Marvin Simmonds,
0:22:51 > 0:22:53ladies and gentlemen.
0:23:00 > 0:23:06Now, Noel, Shane and Seann, how about some iconic, sexy saxo-pop?
0:23:06 > 0:23:09For the audience only, here is Guru Josh with Infinity.
0:23:28 > 0:23:48That was Guru Josh with Infinity.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50..number four, short of dosh...
0:23:52 > 0:23:54..or number five, needs a wash?
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Number one's Wayne Rooney, innit?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03The one at the end looks like, sort of, God, in a cloud.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08He's sort of, like, peering over a cloud,
0:24:08 > 0:24:11going, "Ooh. I hope everyone's OK."
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Who looks mad? Mad Mick, we're looking for, aren't we?
0:24:15 > 0:24:19That's correct. Number two looks like he's...
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Confused. ..mad, but in a real way.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24In a frightening, dark way.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Number three... He still hasn't reacted to your comment!
0:24:27 > 0:24:30..absolutely is not mad, and shouldn't be in those clothes.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34I would say number one, but I'm opening it up to my team.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Yeah, one. I definitely think number one.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Well, let's find out.
0:24:37 > 0:24:57Would the real Mad Mick please step forward?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06So, we end with a Sexy Special Next Lines.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10Phill's team, you are in the lead, so you go first.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12And your time starts now.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15LAUGHTER
0:25:15 > 0:25:17"Touch me, touch me."
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Please, for God's sake, touch me.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28It was, "I want to feel your body." Touch Me by Samantha Fox.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30"Feel your hands inside my soul."
0:25:30 > 0:25:32CAROL GIGGLES
0:25:34 > 0:25:37"Feel a baker's sausage roll."
0:25:39 > 0:25:41IRISH ACCENT: "Feel me cock, I'll fill your hole."
0:25:47 > 0:25:49I wish I had written that one.
0:25:49 > 0:26:06That's a beauty.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07You should.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I know this song.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Yes, it's yours.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Oh, my God, I know this song!
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Apparently not! I wrote it!
0:26:16 > 0:26:20NOEL: There are actually goldfish at home going, "Come on!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22"It's your song!"
0:26:24 > 0:26:27"He took my hand and closed the door," now, go!
0:26:27 > 0:26:32"It was just one kiss, baby." Mad At Me by Diana Vickers.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Right song, wrong lyric.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35LAUGHTER
0:26:38 > 0:26:40"I pushed him up against the wall."
0:26:40 > 0:26:43"I pushed him up against the wall."
0:26:43 > 0:26:45END-OF-ROUND JINGLE
0:26:47 > 0:26:50So, Noel's team, you need four points to win.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52And your time starts now.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57"Let me lick you up and down till you say stop."
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Anal Danger.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18"Take your heart and make it sing."
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Or use your mouth, it's up to you.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27It actually was, "Love, love is a wonderful thing,"
0:27:27 > 0:27:31by Michael Bolton. Ah! Ah.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34"Well, for me, it's waking up beside you."
0:27:34 > 0:27:36"To watch the sunrise on your face."
0:27:36 > 0:27:40That's correct. Flying Without Wings, by Westlife.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Tune, by the way.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Tune.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48"Looking for some hot stuff, baby, this evening."
0:27:48 > 0:27:52# Looking for some hot stuff, baby, this evening
0:27:52 > 0:27:55# Looking for some hot stuff, baby, tonight. #
0:27:55 > 0:27:58That is correct. Hot Stuff by Donna Summer.
0:27:58 > 0:27:59Yes!
0:28:03 > 0:28:05So, the final scores are...
0:28:05 > 0:28:07Noel's team have three,
0:28:07 > 0:28:26and Phill's team are tonight's winners with four.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28CHEERING
0:28:31 > 0:28:33And, as you enjoy the credits,
0:28:33 > 0:28:36we're all going to do our very best '80s power grabs.
0:28:36 > 0:28:37Good night.
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd