0:00:13 > 0:00:18Hello and welcome to No Such Thing As The News, coming to you from up
0:00:19 > 0:00:22the creek in Greenwich, London. I am Dan Schreiber with Anna Ptaszynski,
0:00:23 > 0:00:32Andrew Hunter Murray and James Harkin. Each week we will take a
0:00:33 > 0:00:37look at the most interesting things we have found in the news of the
0:00:38 > 0:00:41last seven days. We are not here to scare you, make you angry, tell you
0:00:42 > 0:00:47what to think, give opinions on Brexit, but we might tell you that
0:00:48 > 0:00:51according to a recent survey 46% of people in Japan hide when someone
0:00:52 > 0:00:57rings their doorbell. Let's begin, starting with fact number one, and
0:00:58 > 0:01:00that is Andrew Hunter Murray. The House of Commons has a special
0:01:01 > 0:01:06security measure designed to stop the gunpowder plot from ever
0:01:07 > 0:01:09happening again. What happens is before the Queen's Speech, which
0:01:10 > 0:01:14happened on Wednesday, there is a ceremony where the Yeoman of the
0:01:15 > 0:01:21guard, a special military body, search the cellars of the House of
0:01:22 > 0:01:27Commons for gunpowder, looking with candlelight and tonnes. Which, if
0:01:28 > 0:01:32you are looking for gunpowder... I will show you quickly what they look
0:01:33 > 0:01:44like. These are the Yeomen of the Guard. They have their lanterns.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48This is what it's protecting... The last line of defence. They look
0:01:49 > 0:01:55around, don't find any and they say it is fine. I should point out the
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Metropolitan Police conduct a more modern search. I wondered if they
0:02:00 > 0:02:05might find some dummy gunpowder that a security firm had left. The other
0:02:06 > 0:02:10thing about the Queen's Speech is Black Rod, most of us have heard of.
0:02:11 > 0:02:17It is very hard to search for him on the internet! Basically, he is a
0:02:18 > 0:02:21parliamentary official, technically called the gentleman Usher of the
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Black Rod, because he carries a black staff. The current guy in
0:02:26 > 0:02:27office is called David Leakey. He has the right to detain people in
0:02:28 > 0:02:34the houses of parliament, specifically in the House of Lords.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38I can detain people in my house. He said, I normally hand them straight
0:02:39 > 0:02:45over to the police. There was a thing in the way he said "Normally".
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Sometimes I rough them up. A lot of places in the news went with the
0:02:50 > 0:02:55fact that the Queen took the lift for the first time. Not for the
0:02:56 > 0:02:59first time in her life. Normally she goes up the stairs into Parliament
0:03:00 > 0:03:03but this time she got the lift because her knees are bad. Another
0:03:04 > 0:03:06time she took the lift, she wanted to go down one floor and her and
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Prince Philip pressed the wrong button and went up one floor. They
0:03:11 > 0:03:14got to the next floor and there was a peer from the House of Lords
0:03:15 > 0:03:19opened the door and the Queen and Prince Philip were in front of him.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22They went... They pressed the button and instead of going back down they
0:03:23 > 0:03:28went up another floor and ended up in the Parliamentary archives, OK.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31They pressed the button to go back to the bottom floor and ended up
0:03:32 > 0:03:38exactly where they started and just walked down the stairs anyway. That
0:03:39 > 0:03:43could be a heart-warming children's story. The other thing that happens
0:03:44 > 0:03:47during the Queen 's speech is that the palace takes a hostage MP, which
0:03:48 > 0:03:53is another very old-fashioned tradition. This year it was
0:03:54 > 0:03:57ex-Housing Minister Chris Hopkins, who just went to Buckingham Palace
0:03:58 > 0:04:01for the speech. This is supposedly in case Parliament decides they will
0:04:02 > 0:04:08keep the Queen, and then at least Buckingham Palace can say, we have
0:04:09 > 0:04:13the ex-housing minister here. I read an article in the Daily Mail and
0:04:14 > 0:04:16they were talking about this guy who was taken hostage. Prince Philip
0:04:17 > 0:04:21used to enjoy reminding the MP that if Prince Philip and the Queen never
0:04:22 > 0:04:25came back, he would have his head chopped off. But the Queen said,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29actually, it is nothing to do with you, it is only if I don't come
0:04:30 > 0:04:33back. Finally, Prince Philip got very angry with that and he doesn't
0:04:34 > 0:04:37do the joke any more. Wouldn't it be awful if they chopped off his head
0:04:38 > 0:04:39and it turned out that the Queen and Prince Philip had just been in a
0:04:40 > 0:04:44lift? APPLAUSE
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Speaking of Prince Philip getting jealous of the Queen, I was looking
0:04:50 > 0:04:55into the only other Queen in the world at the moment, Queen Margaret
0:04:56 > 0:05:00of Denmark. Her husband has just resigned his position because he
0:05:01 > 0:05:06thinks it is not gender equal. So he has resigned in a strop, earlier
0:05:07 > 0:05:10this year, couple of months ago. He said all of the Queens in the world
0:05:11 > 0:05:14have made their husband King consort, why should I be under my
0:05:15 > 0:05:18wife? I will never accept it, it makes me angry that I'm subjected to
0:05:19 > 0:05:22discrimination. He has been campaigning to be called King for
0:05:23 > 0:05:29many years, so he has gone off in a strop. That is a marriage on some
0:05:30 > 0:05:34rocks. Interesting he had to say, why should I be under my wife! I was
0:05:35 > 0:05:39looking at other parliaments around the world. If possible, even more
0:05:40 > 0:05:47exciting stuff is happening elsewhere. One of the more exciting
0:05:48 > 0:05:51ones is the Ukrainian one. There are brawls that break-out constantly in
0:05:52 > 0:05:57the Ukrainian parliament. There is a particularly bizarre one in December
0:05:58 > 0:06:00last year where the Ukrainian Prime Minister was dragged from his podium
0:06:01 > 0:06:05as he was about to give a speech. The person who was going to drag him
0:06:06 > 0:06:09from the podium in protest, another MP, approached holding a bouquet of
0:06:10 > 0:06:14roses, so there was a confused moment where he thought, that is
0:06:15 > 0:06:18nice, he is bringing me roses. He takes them, and then the guy grabs
0:06:19 > 0:06:23him and start dragging him from the podium. It was an ignominious scene.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28And then the guy who is dragging him gets distracted by a brawl to his
0:06:29 > 0:06:32left. He puts the Prime Minister down, and you see the Prime Minister
0:06:33 > 0:06:40holding these roses looking at these MPs fighting and thinking, what on
0:06:41 > 0:06:47earth are we supposed to do? Didn't the Canadian Prime Minister get in
0:06:48 > 0:06:51trouble for elbowing somebody? So the Prime Minister is Justin
0:06:52 > 0:06:57Trudeau, of Canada. I think he apologised. There was a brawl and he
0:06:58 > 0:07:01turned round and elbowed someone in the chest. He was trying to Usher
0:07:02 > 0:07:06and MP to his seat and he did not see a lady behind him. It was a
0:07:07 > 0:07:09little nick of the elbow, it looked like. I am not her and I did not
0:07:10 > 0:07:14feel it. She had to leave the house for a while to recover and her
0:07:15 > 0:07:19colleague, a fellow MP said, young women in this space need to feel
0:07:20 > 0:07:23safe to come here and to work here. I am as feminist as the next person,
0:07:24 > 0:07:30but I am not sure that is a massive gender issue that he accidentally
0:07:31 > 0:07:33backed into a woman. I have a great fact about Canadian politics.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Canadian politician Vicki Huntington received a round of applause after
0:07:38 > 0:07:38parliament rejected her appeal asking to ban rounds of applause.
0:07:39 > 0:07:54APPLAUSE We will send that over to her. We
0:07:55 > 0:07:57need to move on, so anything? Apparently one of the Queen's rounds
0:07:58 > 0:08:07is too heavy to wear all the time. The Imperial State Crown is the same
0:08:08 > 0:08:11weight as the smallest ever cat, who was called Tinker toy, or the same
0:08:12 > 0:08:14weight as a human brain. If you can imagine wearing a brain or a small
0:08:15 > 0:08:24cat on your head, that is what it is like to be Queen. Time for fact
0:08:25 > 0:08:29number two. My fact is that the International Space Station has
0:08:30 > 0:08:34quadruple glazed windows. This is actually, I love it because it is
0:08:35 > 0:08:35quite a mundane thing to find out about the windows of the
0:08:36 > 0:08:39International Space Station. The reason we know it this week is
0:08:40 > 0:08:44because of Tim Peake, who tweeted a picture of one of the windows. This
0:08:45 > 0:08:49is it, and this is a chip that has appeared in the window because it
0:08:50 > 0:08:52has been hit by a bit of debris. Fortunately, the thing that hit it
0:08:53 > 0:08:58was only the size of a flick of paint. A fleck of paint, and that is
0:08:59 > 0:09:02the damage because things are travelling at such speed in space.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Apparently, if the International Space Station was hit on that window
0:09:07 > 0:09:10by something the size of a pen lid, there would be enough energy for it
0:09:11 > 0:09:14to be the equivalent of a hand grenade, so it would deep rash rise
0:09:15 > 0:09:19and we would lose potentially all of the International Space Station. I
0:09:20 > 0:09:24read that what caused the chip might have been a piece of debris a feud
0:09:25 > 0:09:39thousand is of a millimetre. I tried to find out what else is that size,
0:09:40 > 0:09:46so the head of a sperm is five thousandths of a millimetre. Which
0:09:47 > 0:09:52is why Selt pleasuring is banned. I do think they put it out into space.
0:09:53 > 0:10:04Wind down the window, four times for each glazing. They did used to
0:10:05 > 0:10:12reject theses. Bars all dreamt would have a poo and it would come back at
0:10:13 > 0:10:24the ship and take it out. How many ships were lost? It has been quite a
0:10:25 > 0:10:28big week generally for the ISS. Not only did we see this picture from
0:10:29 > 0:10:33Tim Peake with the chip in the window, but also the Monday just
0:10:34 > 0:10:38gone was the hundred thousandth orbit that the ISS has made. While
0:10:39 > 0:10:44the International Space Station was doing that orbit, do you know what
0:10:45 > 0:10:49they were doing on board? Partying, having sex, going mental for 45
0:10:50 > 0:10:58minutes. Almost. They were testing the grip strength of mice. How do
0:10:59 > 0:11:04you do that? In my head, it is because it is going around the world
0:11:05 > 0:11:09and the mice are going... You have a little machine and a net on it and
0:11:10 > 0:11:14you put the mouse on the net and it holds on and then you start pulling.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19And you keep pulling until it lets go, and that is how strong its grip
0:11:20 > 0:11:25is. The reason they are doing that is because they want to see how
0:11:26 > 0:11:28muscles atrophy in space. It is one of those things you never think to
0:11:29 > 0:11:32look into but the day-to-day mundane life of an astronaut living in
0:11:33 > 0:11:40space. Did you know there are no pillows in space? You would not need
0:11:41 > 0:11:43to rest your head. I figured you would have won against a wall, at
0:11:44 > 0:11:49least. But you know when we turn around looking for the best position
0:11:50 > 0:11:54in bed, space is the best position. You just hang there. They also have
0:11:55 > 0:12:00a lot of instruments. Chris Hadfield played a song by David Bowie on
0:12:01 > 0:12:03guitar. They also have a didgeridoo. I have not seen any footage of
0:12:04 > 0:12:09anyone attempting a song. I do not know why it is there. Do you know
0:12:10 > 0:12:13how they do laundry on the International Space Station? They
0:12:14 > 0:12:16don't. They throw away their clothes every few weeks and burn them up
0:12:17 > 0:12:22into the atmosphere because there is no good way of washing clothes.
0:12:23 > 0:12:29Water is a valuable, 30 on the ISS. The way they recycle water is
0:12:30 > 0:12:33incredible. They recycle 3.6 gallons of water every day. They recycle
0:12:34 > 0:12:38their own your income and also the euro and of their lab rats, any
0:12:39 > 0:12:42animals they have on there. The majority of water they drink and
0:12:43 > 0:12:49wash with is recycled in that way, but it still is to be topped up with
0:12:50 > 0:12:53extra water once in awhile. One tech magazine worked out the cost of the
0:12:54 > 0:12:59average bottle of water on the ISS. I worked out that it would buy you
0:13:00 > 0:13:061400 pints of beer in London. ?7,000 for one bottle of water. The thing
0:13:07 > 0:13:09with water on the International Space Station, it is inevitable that
0:13:10 > 0:13:15American astronauts will have consumed Russian P and Russian
0:13:16 > 0:13:22astronauts will have consumed American P. Going back to the grip
0:13:23 > 0:13:24of mice, the latest consignment of experimental dear to the
0:13:25 > 0:13:28International Space Station was in March this year and they sent gecko
0:13:29 > 0:13:32pads. They have been doing experiments on earth into what makes
0:13:33 > 0:13:36a gecko stick to a wall, and they have sent these pads to space to
0:13:37 > 0:13:40help them experiment. I sometimes think if you are on the ISS, it
0:13:41 > 0:13:46reminds me of going to a shop to get milk and then your friend says, can
0:13:47 > 0:13:49you get this, and that and that. They deliver 1000 scientific
0:13:50 > 0:13:53experiments and then say, would you mind testing gecko pads? Learn the
0:13:54 > 0:14:01didgeridoos! I was thinking of what they could
0:14:02 > 0:14:05make the windows out of the make them better. This week they have
0:14:06 > 0:14:12made see-through wood. It is amazing. I have a picture here. You
0:14:13 > 0:14:18will not be able to see it. A slight flaw. You can tell at his word
0:14:19 > 0:14:30because it has that word written on it. -- it is wood. It's amazing,
0:14:31 > 0:14:33they put chemicals in it which gets rid of the stuff that gives a
0:14:34 > 0:14:36colour. They have only done five inches five" but they think that in
0:14:37 > 0:14:41future we might be able to make windows out of this because class is
0:14:42 > 0:14:46the kind of thing that shatters easily but Wood is a better
0:14:47 > 0:14:51substance. Could you have invisible tables? That is the extent of my
0:14:52 > 0:14:59imagination. What am I sitting behind? We could get invisible
0:15:00 > 0:15:04trees, which are made out of wood. A whole forest but now one can see.
0:15:05 > 0:15:12You would spend your entire walk through a forest going, oh, what is
0:15:13 > 0:15:20that?! I can see the word order the trees. -- I cannot see the wood or
0:15:21 > 0:15:25the trees. Halfway through, time to look at the stories that you have
0:15:26 > 0:15:30sent into us. What have you got? This was tweeted from Katie Gibson
0:15:31 > 0:15:36and the fact is that a person called Pope McCorkle the third has won the
0:15:37 > 0:15:422016 name of the year competition. This is a real person. A public
0:15:43 > 0:15:49policy Professor at Duke University. I remember that one because I really
0:15:50 > 0:15:55wanted sweet orifice to win. Sweet Orifice is a real person who
0:15:56 > 0:16:03unbelievably did not win. Another finalist was called Tillman
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Buttersack. We got this one from Ninja. Zoo It is from Northern
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Territory news. Firemen had to be called to an Australian hospital
0:16:12 > 0:16:21after a man got his penis stuck in a spanner. They used a tiny angle
0:16:22 > 0:16:30grinder to cut the spanner away. Please could you leave the word tiny
0:16:31 > 0:16:34out of the press release. Please. People may have seen this story, it
0:16:35 > 0:16:38but it is so good. This was sent in from Chris Emerson, and it is from
0:16:39 > 0:16:41the Independent and it is the fact that students from the University of
0:16:42 > 0:16:45East Anglia have been told that they cannot throw mortar boards at their
0:16:46 > 0:16:55graduation but they can mind that the action and have the hats.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Shocked in for an extra ?8. -- mime the action. One guy going like that
0:17:00 > 0:17:04and the girl next are going, I cannot afford that. Time to move
0:17:05 > 0:17:08onto Anna Ptaszynski. My fact is that according to the former head of
0:17:09 > 0:17:12the Russian anti-doping laboratory, male athletes take the drugs with
0:17:13 > 0:17:19whiskey while female athletes take them with a martini. So these are
0:17:20 > 0:17:24the revelations came out in the New York Times interview last week. And
0:17:25 > 0:17:29this was the former head of the Russian anti-doping agency, Dr Bonar
0:17:30 > 0:17:35Janco, and he talked about how he had been systematically allowing
0:17:36 > 0:17:39athletes to dope and concealing it. And he said the reason you include
0:17:40 > 0:17:44alcohol in the samples was to increase the absorption time and
0:17:45 > 0:17:48shot in the absorption window. I am sure everyone will understand
0:17:49 > 0:17:53exactly why alcohol does that, so you will not need the details. Would
0:17:54 > 0:18:04you like your martini shaken, stirred or full of drugs? So who is
0:18:05 > 0:18:06this guy? This guy was officially responsible during the Soviet
0:18:07 > 0:18:12Olympics for checking that athletes were not doping, and he has given
0:18:13 > 0:18:15this interview which reads like an incredibly good John le Carre novel.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19It was made clear to him that he would have to help athletes conceal
0:18:20 > 0:18:24their doping according to this interview. So he said that at night
0:18:25 > 0:18:30he had received a signal that said that the urinal was ready and he
0:18:31 > 0:18:33would go into room 124, officially the storage space where they do
0:18:34 > 0:18:37stuff they are not supposed to be doing and he would have the you're
0:18:38 > 0:18:42in of the athletes that he had taken. And he would go to a little
0:18:43 > 0:18:46hole in the wall at third level, and he would slip that through the hole
0:18:47 > 0:18:49in the wall and one of his colleagues on the other night would
0:18:50 > 0:18:53slip in a clean sample that they had taken a few months earlier, and he
0:18:54 > 0:18:59would take that and replace it. Exciting stuff. You can see why he
0:19:00 > 0:19:03was drawn to it. And the other thing, they have announced that they
0:19:04 > 0:19:08have had a massive drugs haul, but not recently. This is from the
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Beijing games. They have announced that they have 31 athletes from 12
0:19:13 > 0:19:18different countries, and this is because they have developed new
0:19:19 > 0:19:28tests but they still have the you're in samples. There are thousands of
0:19:29 > 0:19:34bottles of athletes' wee. This is an advert for stalkers out there. Maria
0:19:35 > 0:19:43Sharapova's 8-year-old wee exists out there. Drag it down. -- track it
0:19:44 > 0:19:47down. That is the problem. I read an article that said that the only
0:19:48 > 0:19:51athletes that we catch are the ones that are doing things that are not
0:19:52 > 0:19:56that good because anyone who is doing anything any good, we are not
0:19:57 > 0:19:59ready to catch them yet. And that is why we are only now going through
0:20:00 > 0:20:04the Beijing guys and I think they are about to test a load of people
0:20:05 > 0:20:08from London 2012. I remember reading a blog a while ago about the East
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Germans and West Germans and we knew for a while that the East Germans
0:20:12 > 0:20:15were doping but it turned out that the West Germans were doping as well
0:20:16 > 0:20:19the whole time, doing really weird stuff. One of the things, they would
0:20:20 > 0:20:28pump air into the colon is of swimmers to make them more buoyant.
0:20:29 > 0:20:39-- colons. These things only came out in the 21st century. That is a
0:20:40 > 0:20:45long time for it to be in there! Can we do a few things on drugs?
0:20:46 > 0:20:51Yes! Some facts about drugs. They have just, Colombia has just had its
0:20:52 > 0:20:55biggest ever drug haul, absolutely massive, tonnes of drugs. And I
0:20:56 > 0:21:01worked out that it was eight times, I think. I think it was cocaine.
0:21:02 > 0:21:08Eight tonnes of cocaine. I worked out that would be enough to get
0:21:09 > 0:21:14every elephant on Earth- is the or the entire population of Bulgaria,
0:21:15 > 0:21:23or the entire population of Wales, very, very high. And have a picture
0:21:24 > 0:21:29which? These drugs were worth ?240 million. -- have they picked which.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33That could buy you the entire Tottenham squad. We need to move on,
0:21:34 > 0:21:40anything before that? I can tell you how use lignite useless sniffer jobs
0:21:41 > 0:21:47-- how useless sniffer dogs are at finding drugs? From personal
0:21:48 > 0:21:53experience? I was Colombia. Congratulations on buying Tottenham
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Hotspur. This came out this week that sniffer dogs have been trained
0:21:57 > 0:22:02at Manchester airport over the past couple of years to detect various
0:22:03 > 0:22:06banned substances. Primarily, drugs. That was a high priority. And it
0:22:07 > 0:22:08turns out that the dogs made multiple accurate detections but
0:22:09 > 0:22:16most were of small amounts of cheese or sausages, posing minimal risk to
0:22:17 > 0:22:21the UK public health. They managed to detect zero drugs. OK, time for
0:22:22 > 0:22:33our final fact of the show. James Harkin? My fact is that scientists
0:22:34 > 0:22:36have turned water into wine. Not traditionally the preserve of the
0:22:37 > 0:22:43science. Much more of a religious thing. This is an article I read in
0:22:44 > 0:22:47new scientist this week two scientists who work in a food lab in
0:22:48 > 0:22:50San Francisco. And they saw a wine that they could not afford and they
0:22:51 > 0:22:54thought, I really want to whine like that. And they thought, well, we
0:22:55 > 0:22:58have loads of chemicals so why not make it? So they got a load of water
0:22:59 > 0:23:03and ethanol and flavourings and a few other things and they made
0:23:04 > 0:23:08something that passes as wine. But this could be the future. We will
0:23:09 > 0:23:11all be drinking wine that is not made out of grapes. That is amazing
0:23:12 > 0:23:16although putting a bunch of chemicals together into a drink
0:23:17 > 0:23:21sounds like the kind of thing that guests athletes into trouble. And is
0:23:22 > 0:23:23it good, do they know? Sometimes, but the original ones were not so
0:23:24 > 0:23:33good. They put a different flavours in. They put in a chemical that
0:23:34 > 0:23:37tasted like pineapple, grape juice, line, and butter. And apparently one
0:23:38 > 0:23:42of the first attempts just tasted like melted butter. But it was
0:23:43 > 0:23:47alcoholic melted butter, so... But now they have made one that tastes a
0:23:48 > 0:23:54bit like a particular Italian wine. In other science news, scientists
0:23:55 > 0:23:58performing miracles, scientists have this week invented in magnet wrapped
0:23:59 > 0:24:06in pig intestines. It is a pig intestines to make it more palatable
0:24:07 > 0:24:09to swallow map so it goes into your stomach, and then the intestinal
0:24:10 > 0:24:13unravels and the magnet attracts magnetic materials, and this is to
0:24:14 > 0:24:17deal with the 3500 batteries swallowed by children every year in
0:24:18 > 0:24:20the US alone. The magnet will attach onto that and drag it down out of
0:24:21 > 0:24:25your system and into the toilet bowl. I was looking into science
0:24:26 > 0:24:30news at the weekend and something came up which I really like. Google
0:24:31 > 0:24:36have just patented a new invention. This is it. Basically they have
0:24:37 > 0:24:41invented a sticky thing to put on the front of the that when you get
0:24:42 > 0:24:45hit by a car, rather than its throwing you across the road, you
0:24:46 > 0:24:50just stick to the front. And you know trouble with the car. It does
0:24:51 > 0:24:54not seem like much of an improvement. -- and you now travel
0:24:55 > 0:25:00with the car. If that car hits another car, then that sticks to
0:25:01 > 0:25:05you. You are sandwiched between the cars. And if someone hits the front
0:25:06 > 0:25:09of your car and your vision is obstructed because there is someone
0:25:10 > 0:25:14stuck to your car, you are almost more likely to hit another car. Who
0:25:15 > 0:25:20thought of this?! I think the idea is that they do not want you to just
0:25:21 > 0:25:26keep going. However, it is a great way to get to the hospital quickly.
0:25:27 > 0:25:36Tonnes of cars coming with humans attached! Sirree, I need you to put
0:25:37 > 0:25:41a servicing for the car. -- Siri. I saw this bait and because it was in
0:25:42 > 0:25:46the news. I found a load of other patents that Google has brought out
0:25:47 > 0:25:50in the last couple of years. A system that takes you on a route
0:25:51 > 0:25:53home so that you do not bump into anyone you know. Apparently you are
0:25:54 > 0:25:57going to smell really bad and you were thinking, I don't want to bump
0:25:58 > 0:26:03into anyone, so it takes you away from people. And candy system be
0:26:04 > 0:26:09broadened to all circumstances? We should wrap up very soon. -- can the
0:26:10 > 0:26:14system. I have one scientific story about penises. I want to apologise
0:26:15 > 0:26:17in advance. There has been a study done by the Australian national
0:26:18 > 0:26:21university, testing the theory that male fish with bigger genitals are
0:26:22 > 0:26:26more attractive. The way they did this was to selected bleep breed
0:26:27 > 0:26:33mosquito fish over eight generations to have either massive or tiny
0:26:34 > 0:26:36genitals. -- selectively breed. By the way, the result of the study was
0:26:37 > 0:26:41that for mosquito fish anyway, females do not care and it does not
0:26:42 > 0:26:45affect things. I read a version of that story in the Daily Mail and
0:26:46 > 0:26:50they said that if the same ratio of penis to fish length was applied to
0:26:51 > 0:26:56humans, it would been that the average 5'9" British man's penis
0:26:57 > 0:27:07would be slightly smaller than the average Scottish salmon. We're going
0:27:08 > 0:27:12to need a bigger spanner! OK. That's it. Just time to share with you four
0:27:13 > 0:27:16stories that we did not have time to cover. My story is from the
0:27:17 > 0:27:22Manchester evening news. A man is camping out in a Macdonald car park
0:27:23 > 0:27:25in in protests to not being allowed to use the drive through in his
0:27:26 > 0:27:31horse-drawn caravan. Mine is from the daily Telegraph. It is that
0:27:32 > 0:27:33research at Tel Aviv University and MIT has shown that half the people
0:27:34 > 0:27:42you consider friends do not actually like you. Mine is from BBC News.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47Uzbekistan, due to a shortage of cash in the country's banks,
0:27:48 > 0:27:51teachers have been paid half as much as they are usually paid, and worse
0:27:52 > 0:27:59still, they were paid entirely in chickens. Anna? This is from The
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Times. The French Finance Minister has admitted behaving
0:28:03 > 0:28:14inappropriately towards a female journalist, but has denied twining
0:28:15 > 0:28:20her knickers. -- twanging. And lastly, broadcasting house, Jane
0:28:21 > 0:28:29Hill. That is all from Andy, James, Hannah and me. We will be back again
0:28:30 > 0:28:35next week, with a bunch more facts. See you then. Goodbye.