0:00:14 > 0:00:21Hello, hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as the News
0:00:22 > 0:00:26coming to you from up the creek in Greenwich London. My name's Dan
0:00:27 > 0:00:27Schreiber. I'm here with Anna Ptaszynski, Andrew Hunter Murray and
0:00:28 > 0:00:33James Harkin. APPLAUSE
0:00:34 > 0:00:38Last week's debut show attracted a certain amount of comment from
0:00:39 > 0:00:41people saying it looked cheap. A very technical reason for that - we
0:00:42 > 0:00:46have no money. LAUGHTER
0:00:47 > 0:00:54. Literally, none. Many on social media have pointed it out, like this
0:00:55 > 0:00:59person who says, "It looks like a hostage video."
0:01:00 > 0:01:06LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Each week we'll talk about the most interesting things we found from the
0:01:11 > 0:01:14last seven days' news. We're not going to Bam barred you with
0:01:15 > 0:01:18statistics nor predict the outcome of the presidential election, but we
0:01:19 > 0:01:23might tell you, for example, that according to a resent study that
0:01:24 > 0:01:29Donald Trump's favourite word is "I" and his fourth favourite word is
0:01:30 > 0:01:32trump. Yeah. OK, let's begin. In no particular order, here we go.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37Starting with you, Anna Ptaszynski. My fact this week is that on his
0:01:38 > 0:01:42trip to Vietnam this week, Obama took with him his own personal blood
0:01:43 > 0:01:47bank, a fake Cadillac and an exact replica of that fake Cadillac.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52LAUGHTER The Cadillac is his presidential
0:01:53 > 0:01:56car, there was an article in autoweek saying it's not really a
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Cadillac because it's entirely designed by the Secret Service. The
0:02:00 > 0:02:02reason is that presidential cars used to be bought from Cadillac then
0:02:03 > 0:02:07they'd revamp them with the security stuff that they needed. So the
0:02:08 > 0:02:11president's car has lots of bullet-proof and bomb proof stuff
0:02:12 > 0:02:15and James Bond style gadgets. They ended up being so heavy and
0:02:16 > 0:02:19cumbersome that the Cadillacs they bought would immediately break down
0:02:20 > 0:02:23constantly. So it just wasn't workable. I love that they call it
0:02:24 > 0:02:28the beast. That's the name of it. When they take it anywhere, Obama is
0:02:29 > 0:02:33like, "Let's get the beast." And it is a beast. You look at it and it's
0:02:34 > 0:02:37a phenomenal thing. The car, as a result of being so heavy, it can't
0:02:38 > 0:02:45go above 65mph. So if you're trying to chase the president... You might
0:02:46 > 0:02:49even be able to do it on foot. The other thing is that it only gets
0:02:50 > 0:02:54about five miles a gallon. If you're chasing after it, you can wait for
0:02:55 > 0:02:59it to run out of petrol. Then you can't do anything. The thing about
0:03:00 > 0:03:02the beast is that it's bomb proof, it's bullet-proof. It can detect
0:03:03 > 0:03:06chemical and biological attacks. There's quite a lot of security
0:03:07 > 0:03:11information about it that has to be concealed. There are things leaked
0:03:12 > 0:03:15and reported on. It has a cabin that can be used as a panic room. It can
0:03:16 > 0:03:22shut out the outside world. Obama has a phone next to him, a direct
0:03:23 > 0:03:26line to the White House, so he can always call up Joe Biden, if he
0:03:27 > 0:03:31wants to. Any of us can turn a room into a panic room. You just go into
0:03:32 > 0:03:40a room and freak out. You missed the premise of that film.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Special loops replace door handles which allow Secret Service agents to
0:03:44 > 0:03:50hold on when running alongside the car. I cannot think of a situation
0:03:51 > 0:03:54in which that is useful. Why is there a fake one, sorry? The beast
0:03:55 > 0:03:59isn't actually that one car. The beast refers to 12 cars. Everywhere
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Obama goes he takes two with him. He travels in one and the other comes
0:04:04 > 0:04:08along to act as a decoy. I would ask for more than that, if I were him.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13If someone attacks you, there's only a 50/50 chance they're going to get
0:04:14 > 0:04:16it right. Could you bring more? He has a special helicopter called
0:04:17 > 0:04:20marine one, there are two or three of them. At the last moment, the
0:04:21 > 0:04:25right one lands. Oh, the president is in this one. It's like a
0:04:26 > 0:04:30three-cup trick. The president instead of a tiny, red ball. Various
0:04:31 > 0:04:36sources say it only has one window that opens and that is the driver's
0:04:37 > 0:04:45window that only opens 2. 75 inches and that is for the sake of paying
0:04:46 > 0:04:49tolls. I'm sceptical about whether or not Obama is paying tolls as he's
0:04:50 > 0:04:55travelling through. Let's get to Obama. He went to Vietnam. It was a
0:04:56 > 0:05:00mammoth operation to get him there. It was about 800 enterage that took
0:05:01 > 0:05:05him there. It cost so much. They estimate that there were at least 50
0:05:06 > 0:05:10planes required to fly him there. Wow, yeah. It's insane. It's a bring
0:05:11 > 0:05:18Obama to a country it costs so much. When he went to Belgium a while ago,
0:05:19 > 0:05:25it ended up costing the country, for a 24-hour visit, it cost Belgium 10
0:05:26 > 0:05:31million euro of their own money. You'd be like, let's just Skype. He
0:05:32 > 0:05:37came to the UK last month. When he was here, you weren't allowed to fly
0:05:38 > 0:05:40a kite over London. What? The regulations, it was mostly aimed at
0:05:41 > 0:05:46drones, but they included kites in the regulations. I don't know, you
0:05:47 > 0:05:54put a bomb on a kite or something. Or he just hates kite flying. Do you
0:05:55 > 0:06:01know what he wasn't allowed to do when he visited London? No. He
0:06:02 > 0:06:04wasn't allowed to land his helicopters on Windsor Palace
0:06:05 > 0:06:08gardens by order of Her Majesty, the Queen, because she said this year,
0:06:09 > 0:06:14when he arrived that last time he came and landed his helicopters on
0:06:15 > 0:06:18her gardens, he ruined her lawns. He said, I'm landing six helicopters in
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Windsor Palace, because that's how many I need to come to lunch. She
0:06:24 > 0:06:28said, no, you can only have three. Well done Lizzie standing up to him.
0:06:29 > 0:06:35APPLAUSE We need to move on shortly. A
0:06:36 > 0:06:42patriotic round of applause. I like the comparison this week in news
0:06:43 > 0:06:45between Obama's vehicles, as we've discussed, and then Cameron's
0:06:46 > 0:06:48vehicle news that he had. He's bought a second hand car for his
0:06:49 > 0:06:56wife. Which a lot of you probably saw. It cost ?1500. Yeah, it was a
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Nissan Micra and his security detail, what their job is, is to
0:07:00 > 0:07:03stand behind the car while he's in the driver's seat and make sure the
0:07:04 > 0:07:09back brake lights are working. LAUGHTER
0:07:10 > 0:07:15A whole different world, isn't it? OK. Let's move on. It is time for
0:07:16 > 0:07:21fact number two and that is James Harkin. My fact this week is that in
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Google's Paris offices, Friday meetings are accompanied with cheese
0:07:27 > 0:07:32and wine. That's nice, isn't it? In the London office, they have
0:07:33 > 0:07:38meetings in a padded cell. So this is the story this week where French
0:07:39 > 0:07:41police went into Google's offices because they were literally doing a
0:07:42 > 0:07:47Google search... LAUGHTER
0:07:48 > 0:07:52APPLAUSE They were looking for evidence that
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Google was dog a lot of work in France and should be paying their
0:07:55 > 0:07:59taxes in France rather than paying them in Ireland, where they kind of
0:08:00 > 0:08:02sometimes do, at the moment. I thought, there was no pictures
0:08:03 > 0:08:05because they didn't really show pictures of what the police were
0:08:06 > 0:08:09doing, but I thought I wonder what they saw when they went in. I had a
0:08:10 > 0:08:14look at what the officers are like and that's what they have. They have
0:08:15 > 0:08:19a phone booth made out of an old Citroen car in the middle of one of
0:08:20 > 0:08:24their offices. That's one of David Cameron's wife's old ones. Google
0:08:25 > 0:08:30has a post box in Bermuda where ?8 billion in profits goes each year.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34The number of that box is 666. No joking, really. What happened to
0:08:35 > 0:08:39don't be evil? I know. What the hell. In America they had an
0:08:40 > 0:08:43incident in which workers have blamed Google Maps after they
0:08:44 > 0:08:48accidentally demolished the wrong house. They were brought in to
0:08:49 > 0:08:52demolish a house, they put it into Google Maps and they showed up at
0:08:53 > 0:09:00the wrong spot and they just demolished the house. And the lady
0:09:01 > 0:09:03who owned the house was furious. I think she couldn't comprehend how
0:09:04 > 0:09:07something like that could happen. Was she in there at the time, was
0:09:08 > 0:09:13she left standing with just the rubble around her? Googling... What
0:09:14 > 0:09:18do you do when someone is knocking your house down? I was looking into
0:09:19 > 0:09:22offices around the world in any news that's happened about offices this
0:09:23 > 0:09:27week. There's an amazing bit of news, which is that Dubai have
0:09:28 > 0:09:31opened a new office, which has been completely 3D printed. Isn't that
0:09:32 > 0:09:37amazing. Let me show you a photo. This is it.
0:09:38 > 0:09:44That guy is 3D printed as well. So yeah, it was unveiled in Dubai.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49They think now the idea is that we will start 3D printing buildings.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54That's revolutionary. Is it the office printer inside the office
0:09:55 > 0:09:59that the printer built? That is true about 3D printers. There was one
0:10:00 > 0:10:03that they taught to make other 3D printers and nobody knows how many
0:10:04 > 0:10:08of them there are in the world. Wow it keeps just making a new printer?
0:10:09 > 0:10:13It can do. It has the ability to. Once it's made a few, it can carry
0:10:14 > 0:10:17on. There's a map of America, according to the queries that each
0:10:18 > 0:10:21state submits on Google the most, right? It's not the thing searched
0:10:22 > 0:10:26for most, just the most asked question out of all the states. For
0:10:27 > 0:10:34example, people in Delaware searched how to get away with murder more
0:10:35 > 0:10:47than any other state. Wyoming Googled, "What is Wyoming? In Texas,
0:10:48 > 0:10:53it was, "Where is the internet? Georgia had, "Why are my nipples so
0:10:54 > 0:11:02sore? Best of all, Mississippi, "Can I get a what what?
0:11:03 > 0:11:07APPLAUSE So Google have been trying to make
0:11:08 > 0:11:11it when you ask in casual conversation it can respond in a
0:11:12 > 0:11:16casual way. They've been feeding the AI computers at Google romance
0:11:17 > 0:11:21novels, over 2,000 romance novels so that it can then, when you Google
0:11:22 > 0:11:24something, respond to you in quite a human way, because apparently
0:11:25 > 0:11:31romance novels are very accurate about how we generally are in
0:11:32 > 0:11:37conversation. Really? Dan, Dan, tear my bra off.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42LAUGHTER After that they got it to write
0:11:43 > 0:11:46poetry. They gave it the first line of a poem and then you had to, it
0:11:47 > 0:11:52worked out what the rest of the poem would be. So I'll read some of
0:11:53 > 0:12:00those. Amazing isn't it, so, what is it? It hurts, isn't it? Why would
0:12:01 > 0:12:08you do that? You can do it. I can do it. I can't do it. I can do it.
0:12:09 > 0:12:16Don't do it. I can do it. I couldn't do it.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20APPLAUSE Why are my nipples so sore? We
0:12:21 > 0:12:27should more on guys. You got anything more? I was looking into
0:12:28 > 0:12:31other tax news. There was this article on the go simple tax
0:12:32 > 0:12:37website. It was about a tax return that a man sent in and the answers
0:12:38 > 0:12:39he gave to some of the questions. Regardless of your opinions, I think
0:12:40 > 0:12:42you've got to appreciate his sense of humour. In response to the
0:12:43 > 0:12:51question - do you have anyone dependent on you? The man answered:
0:12:52 > 0:12:562. 1 million illegal immigrants, 2. 2 million unemployment Jeremy Kyle
0:12:57 > 0:13:01scroungers, 900,000 criminals, and 650 idiots in Parliament and the
0:13:02 > 0:13:09whole of the European Commission. APPLAUSE
0:13:10 > 0:13:19HMRC said it was unacceptable. And he replied saying, who did I miss
0:13:20 > 0:13:22out? An angry man. OK. So we're halfway through our show. It's time
0:13:23 > 0:13:29to look at the stories that you've sent in via e-mail and social media.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34James, let's start with you. I got this from Jess Wilkie. Scientists at
0:13:35 > 0:13:43air kus University have worked out why fruit flies have such humungous
0:13:44 > 0:13:49sperm. A male sperm is 20 times longer than a fruit fly and it turns
0:13:50 > 0:13:52out it's the shape and length of the re-September cull inside the fruit
0:13:53 > 0:13:57fly and longer sperms are better at kicking out the smaller sperms out
0:13:58 > 0:14:02of the female's body. If you stretch the sperm out, then it would be
0:14:03 > 0:14:08longer than the fruit fly. The re-September cull is Spiralled. 20
0:14:09 > 0:14:12times longer? Yeah, yeah. No thank you.
0:14:13 > 0:14:21Not going to go on fruit fly dating websites now. Andy? This was sent in
0:14:22 > 0:14:25and it's that the Norwegian consumer council has revealed that the
0:14:26 > 0:14:28average Norwegian's phone apps have terms and conditions which all
0:14:29 > 0:14:35together are longer than the New Testament. They had a read-a-thon of
0:14:36 > 0:14:36the average Norwegian's terms and conditions on their phone apps and
0:14:37 > 0:14:51it took over 30 hours to read out. I got this one from the Manchester
0:14:52 > 0:14:55evening News. It is that undercover police raided a warehouse in
0:14:56 > 0:15:03Cheetham Hill looking for ?40,000 of fraudulently obtained soda and found
0:15:04 > 0:15:11?17,000 of fraudulently obtained sofas instead. Time for our third
0:15:12 > 0:15:19fact, my fact. Thomas Becket's elbow is currently on tour. This is the
0:15:20 > 0:15:25800-year-old monk, Thomas Becket, who is returning to the UK in order
0:15:26 > 0:15:29to do a tour. He is going to be showcased around many different
0:15:30 > 0:15:37churches, and he will be blessed by the Archbishop of Canterbury. I will
0:15:38 > 0:15:43give you a quick visual. This is the elbow. It is a fragment of elbow,
0:15:44 > 0:15:49really small. I feel like the surrounding is because they know it
0:15:50 > 0:15:54is not very impressive. Give it some golden rays. He is going to get to
0:15:55 > 0:15:55one of the churches at Westminster. We have bits of Thomas Becket here
0:15:56 > 0:16:08as well. They are going to put it together,
0:16:09 > 0:16:14like a jigsaw. Great. In theory, it is a reunion tour. Be great if you
0:16:15 > 0:16:22thought you were getting tickets for elbow and it turned out to be that.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27It is so weird, with the Becket elbow. They keep saying in all of
0:16:28 > 0:16:32the news articles, it just includes, probably Thomas Becket's elbow. We
0:16:33 > 0:16:37don't know if it literally is his elbow but we're happy to accept that
0:16:38 > 0:16:41it be. They were very clever when he died. There were businessmen who
0:16:42 > 0:16:47thought ahead, to make sure they maximised the relic potential. There
0:16:48 > 0:16:51is an eyewitness account from a guy caught Edward grim at the time who
0:16:52 > 0:16:58said, brace yourself, the crown of his head was separated from his head
0:16:59 > 0:17:02in such a way that the blood died the floor of the cathedral. And
0:17:03 > 0:17:05people spend subsequent days to -- flocking to the church to try and
0:17:06 > 0:17:11mop up his blood on cloth, knowing it would be valuable. They would
0:17:12 > 0:17:15take some of the blood and put it in that of water. Then they would take
0:17:16 > 0:17:23some of that water and it would cure you from your ills. The original
0:17:24 > 0:17:27homoeopathic medicine. Union -- you can go online and in the way you can
0:17:28 > 0:17:31look at a list of bands coming to the UK, there are relics of dead
0:17:32 > 0:17:35saints touring all over. You can go and see the relics of the passion on
0:17:36 > 0:17:45tour at the moment. They have some good gigs coming up. Do they have
0:17:46 > 0:17:48support acts? Thomas Moore, from the time of Henry VIII, and Bishop John
0:17:49 > 0:17:59Fisher, they are going on tour together. They are touring around
0:18:00 > 0:18:03the US. I have started looking into what is going on in archaeology and
0:18:04 > 0:18:09history. This week, archaeologists discovered that Stonehenge was not
0:18:10 > 0:18:13so hard to build after all. That is a new conclusion. This happened a
0:18:14 > 0:18:18couple of days ago. This week, they did a test by having rope and people
0:18:19 > 0:18:24and pulling them along. They did it and found it was incredibly easy.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28They were like, this is actually the easiest thing to put up. All these
0:18:29 > 0:18:32years of thinking it is an impossible task, and it is not. If
0:18:33 > 0:18:38you look at a list of people who have S Club eight -- excavated
0:18:39 > 0:18:47Stonehenge, in 1979 it was excavated by Mr Pitts, and in 1915, Mr Stone.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52UNESCO have recently said this week that Stonehenge might be in trouble
0:18:53 > 0:18:56jute or climate change. They had a load of sites around the world which
0:18:57 > 0:19:00might be a problem with climate change, and one is Stonehenge
0:19:01 > 0:19:03because of warmer winters and wetter summers meaning more burrowing
0:19:04 > 0:19:10animals which might arrow underneath and they might fall over. Of all the
0:19:11 > 0:19:18things to panic about regarding climate change, that is quite low
0:19:19 > 0:19:23down on the list. Because it is so easy to build another one. We need
0:19:24 > 0:19:29to move on. Other religious news this week. World youth Day is a
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Catholic gathering every three years. The next one is in July in
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Poland, and people attending from Westminster have been given a phrase
0:19:39 > 0:19:44book, a Polish phrase book, containing the phrases, I love you.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49Then, if it is going well, will you marry me? And it also has,
0:19:50 > 0:19:57unfortunately I have a calling to the religious life. Time but our
0:19:58 > 0:20:01final fact of the show, Andrew Hunter Murray. The world's largest
0:20:02 > 0:20:15solar plant has just been set on fire by itself. Not a great week for
0:20:16 > 0:20:20the sum. It is in the American desert and it is unbelievably cool.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26It looks so good. I will show you a picture. This is what it looks like.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30It is amazing. There are two ways of doing solar. Fault Oval take cells,
0:20:31 > 0:20:37which you see on people's roofs, and this method, concentrated solar
0:20:38 > 0:20:42power. This is 173,000 mirrors, each of which has a motor. They all focus
0:20:43 > 0:20:47the rays of the sun on this massive tower, and at the top is a boiler
0:20:48 > 0:20:53full of water which heats to something like 1000 degrees. That
0:20:54 > 0:20:56drives turbines and makes electricity. Unfortunately, this
0:20:57 > 0:21:05week some of the mirrors went wrong and set the tower on fire. I had
0:21:06 > 0:21:10never heard of this before. The thing with these mirrors is that
0:21:11 > 0:21:17they can be dangerous, right? Is it true that they are setting birds on
0:21:18 > 0:21:22fire? It is true. About 28,000 birds each year, they think. And they call
0:21:23 > 0:21:30them stream is because they look like little shooting stars. There is
0:21:31 > 0:21:33another facility planned under the flight path of the golden Eagle, so
0:21:34 > 0:21:38they are concerned that they will set the birds on fire. It makes me
0:21:39 > 0:21:47suspect that solar power is masterminded by cats. That is 28,000
0:21:48 > 0:21:52birds which is a large number. But there was a study in 2014 which said
0:21:53 > 0:22:06that every year, the number of birds which died from hitting windows in
0:22:07 > 0:22:10America is 988 million. What? Even the minimum estimate was 1 million
0:22:11 > 0:22:21every day of the week. I have read that, and I called Bull shipped.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24They did it on the flip side, so obviously they were not counting on
0:22:25 > 0:22:29that happening so much with the birds. They did stop the size of it
0:22:30 > 0:22:33and they brought it in a bit because they were encroaching on the habitat
0:22:34 > 0:22:38of the desert taught us, so they actually made it smaller than it was
0:22:39 > 0:22:44originally meant to be. One thing I know about that desert tortoise is
0:22:45 > 0:22:50that if you pick it up it can we itself to death. They get frightened
0:22:51 > 0:22:54and expel water. In the desert, you need as much water as you can get,
0:22:55 > 0:23:00so if you are in Nevada, do not pick them up. On the environment, my
0:23:01 > 0:23:03favourite story this week is that Leonardo DiCaprio has got into
0:23:04 > 0:23:09trouble because he hired a private jet to fly from Can to New York and
0:23:10 > 0:23:11came back the next day, flying 8000 miles in total, to pick up an
0:23:12 > 0:23:25environmental award. Cans macro. He should have done it in this solar
0:23:26 > 0:23:31powered plane, unbelievably cool, which is ultralight with massive
0:23:32 > 0:23:37wings. The pilots are Captain Picard, whose grandfather was
0:23:38 > 0:23:43believed to be the inspiration for Captain Picard in Star Trek, so
0:23:44 > 0:23:45amazing. They are the most extraordinary family because the
0:23:46 > 0:23:52grandfather was the first to go to the highest point of the
0:23:53 > 0:23:55stratosphere. And then another family member went to the bottom of
0:23:56 > 0:24:00the ocean, and Bertrand Picard was the first to go around the world
0:24:01 > 0:24:05completely. So they have gone up, down and around before anyone else
0:24:06 > 0:24:14in the world. What a bunch of fucking show-offs. I reckon there is
0:24:15 > 0:24:19another one every Christmas who goes home and they say, what have you
0:24:20 > 0:24:24done, Jeff? I have a very nice job and a nice family. Well, we went to
0:24:25 > 0:24:31the top of the world. One thing about solar impulse, they have to be
0:24:32 > 0:24:35ultralight because they did not even take a razor because the extra
0:24:36 > 0:24:39weight would have been too much. It was so light it just has a cockpit
0:24:40 > 0:24:43which you can sit in, and it has a toilet built into the pilot's seat.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48There is no room for an extra toilet. If you are flying and you
0:24:49 > 0:24:54want to go to the loo, you are already there. Do you have a photo
0:24:55 > 0:25:05of this aeroplane? I have one. That is what it looks like. All right,
0:25:06 > 0:25:13Jeff Picard. They have a wingspan about the same as a 747, but it is
0:25:14 > 0:25:18170 times lighter. They need the massive wings because they are solar
0:25:19 > 0:25:24panels. I was reading about news where the sun has been disruptive.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29The sun is beating down so hard that the streets are literally melting. I
0:25:30 > 0:25:39have a photo. It looks like a dead zebra. It is the opposite of a dead
0:25:40 > 0:25:43zebra. It is just melting and people are literally getting stuck and
0:25:44 > 0:25:48having to get out of their shoes and being rescued. The idea of a fire
0:25:49 > 0:25:51being created by reflective surfaces sounds like it would be a one in a
0:25:52 > 0:25:57million chance but apparently it is really common. Last month there was
0:25:58 > 0:26:00a set of curtains set on fire in Wiltshire, and the firemen who went
0:26:01 > 0:26:05to put out the fire said, it is caused by the reflection from a
0:26:06 > 0:26:12reflective item, a mirror, we sometimes call it. It is a common
0:26:13 > 0:26:15thing. I remember reading a few years ago that a fortune teller had
0:26:16 > 0:26:27her house set on fire because her crystal balls at the house on fire.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31She never saw it coming. That is all of our facts. Just time to share
0:26:32 > 0:26:38four stories we did not cover. James. From Africa, Nigeria has
0:26:39 > 0:26:55declared a tomato state of emergency because of the parasite called tuta
0:26:56 > 0:26:58absoluta. Cornwall Council has ordered a taxi firm to repaint its
0:26:59 > 0:27:10signs because of the events arrangement of letters. It is called
0:27:11 > 0:27:14the port Isaac shuttle service. This was from BBC News. An Essex woman
0:27:15 > 0:27:17has been given a 12 month suspended sentence for taking boxes of
0:27:18 > 0:27:20chocolate from supermarkets, removing the chocolate from the
0:27:21 > 0:27:23wrappers and replacing them with rubber balls, marbles and conquerors
0:27:24 > 0:27:31and putting them back on the shelves. The court heard that her
0:27:32 > 0:27:39motives were unclear. And here is my final fact from the Guardian. The
0:27:40 > 0:27:45singer of my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard has never made
0:27:46 > 0:27:48a milkshake. In a separate interview in the Independent, MC Hammer has
0:27:49 > 0:27:52revealed that he does not actually like hammers. He finds them a scary
0:27:53 > 0:27:59proposition. APPLAUSE
0:28:00 > 0:28:08And now, over to Jane Hill in the studio. A man in Greenwich, London,
0:28:09 > 0:28:11has denied he is called Bernard. The man, who wears glasses, has a
0:28:12 > 0:28:16strange accent and does not appear to own a razor goes by another name,
0:28:17 > 0:28:23but we don't yet know what that is. That is all from Anna, Andy, James
0:28:24 > 0:28:44and me, Dan Schreiber. See you next week. Goodbye.
0:28:45 > 0:28:53Once upon a time, there was a great and glorious king.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57But they would all see him destroyed.