:00:14. > :00:24.CHEERING APPLAUSE
:00:25. > :00:31.Well, to the third edition of No Such Thing As The News, coming to
:00:32. > :00:35.you from up the creek in Greenwich, London, I am Dan Schreiber sitting
:00:36. > :00:42.here with Anna Ptaszynski, Andrew Hunter Murray and James Harkin.
:00:43. > :00:49.Each week we will be taking a look at the most interesting things we've
:00:50. > :00:54.found in the news of the last seven days. For example you might not have
:00:55. > :00:57.known that the bus Labour users in the EU referendum campaign was the
:00:58. > :01:03.same bus used on tour by S club seven. In the interest of balance we
:01:04. > :01:10.should also tell you that last week the Vote Leave battle bus got up
:01:11. > :01:15.parking ticket in Harrogate. Let's begin and in no particular order
:01:16. > :01:19.here we go, starting with my back, which is the reason Winston
:01:20. > :01:27.Churchill looks so grumpy on the new white banknote is because someone
:01:28. > :01:32.has taken away his cigar. -- the new ?5 banknote. The Bank of England
:01:33. > :01:35.released the new ?5 note and the photograph you will see, the image
:01:36. > :01:43.they use is of Winston Churchill and it is taken from a photograph from
:01:44. > :01:47.1941, a very famous photograph and basically the way it happened was
:01:48. > :01:51.that the photographer only had a few minutes with Winston Churchill. He
:01:52. > :01:56.came into the room and was smoking a cigar, he was holding it but the
:01:57. > :02:00.photographer asked to lose it and he said no. So the photographer went to
:02:01. > :02:05.tinker with a few things in the photograph and he just took the
:02:06. > :02:09.cigar. To get out of his mouth, and quickly went back and the look on
:02:10. > :02:13.his face was, are you kidding me? The press to click and that's how we
:02:14. > :02:21.have the photograph. That absolutely true which is why we have a angry
:02:22. > :02:24.looking Winston Churchill. It's one of the most used photographs of not
:02:25. > :02:30.just Winston Churchill but of any politician. It is made out of
:02:31. > :02:40.plastic, do you know how you make them? It's amazing. That's it. No,
:02:41. > :02:48.it's made out of by actually orientated polypropylene. They make
:02:49. > :02:53.a bubble the size of a four-storey building, this massive bubble and it
:02:54. > :03:01.collapses on its self duty the heat or whatever and then it is a really
:03:02. > :03:08.thin film and it that film they use. 14-mac story building per note?
:03:09. > :03:12.Yeah, they haven't come out yet but they are enormous. There are
:03:13. > :03:16.actually a bit smaller, I think they are 15% smaller and Ireland member I
:03:17. > :03:22.was working out how many biplane notes you could get in a briefcase
:03:23. > :03:28.-- and I remember I was working out how many ?5 notes you could get in a
:03:29. > :03:37.briefcase. It turns out it's about ?60,000 worth, and with the new ones
:03:38. > :03:46.it will be about ?70,000. Good news. Good news for crying! Other things
:03:47. > :03:53.made out of the same substance, thermal underwear, the hinges on Tic
:03:54. > :04:01.Tac box lids. The stickers on Rubik 's cubes, but only the stickers! And
:04:02. > :04:05.some parts of Tenerife Cathedral! So if you ever forget to bring a change
:04:06. > :04:14.of underwear, you can just saw some of the ?5 notes together. That is
:04:15. > :04:19.lavish! American money is made of linen, cotton and linen, a
:04:20. > :04:22.combination and I think they used to repair American notes up until the
:04:23. > :04:30.19th century by sewing them back together. If you have one which gets
:04:31. > :04:33.torn up there is a bank of England service Corby mutilated notes
:04:34. > :04:37.service. I didn't know this happened but if you have put it in the
:04:38. > :04:40.washing machine for example you can set it to them, they test it and
:04:41. > :04:44.look at the serial numbers and they will tell you if it is actually
:04:45. > :04:54.probably at ten and last year they replaced about 22,000 notes. Of
:04:55. > :04:58.which 5364 were chewed, or eaten. So even if the dog has had it for a bit
:04:59. > :05:01.you can send it off and get a new one back. Do you know what they used
:05:02. > :05:08.to do with banknote which were no longer fit for purpose? They were
:05:09. > :05:15.incinerated and then the heat was used to heat the Bank of England
:05:16. > :05:17.site in Debenham, how cool is that? Imagine knowing you were being
:05:18. > :05:28.burned so that other versions of yourselves could live on. Going back
:05:29. > :05:32.to the new money we will be getting, there is a picture of Jane Austen
:05:33. > :05:38.which is going to be on ?10 notes coming out in September, and it's
:05:39. > :05:43.maybe a picture of Jane Austen but it might not be because we have one
:05:44. > :05:48.picture which was drawn at the time by her sister Cassandra and they
:05:49. > :05:53.have decided it's not an attractive in a picture of horror so they have
:05:54. > :06:00.instead used an engraving of Jane Austen drawn 50 years later which is
:06:01. > :06:04.much prettier. Her sister actually drew two pictures in her lifetime
:06:05. > :06:06.and the first one was a complete picture so it could have been
:06:07. > :06:12.amazing and fortunately the picture was of her facing the other way,
:06:13. > :06:16.looking. So we know what the back of her head looks like. And the second
:06:17. > :06:21.picture was unfinished but relatives at the time said it was hideously
:06:22. > :06:30.unlike our. So I think Cassandra just wasn't the best artist. She
:06:31. > :06:33.hated her sister. While ago the reserve bank of Zimbabwe started
:06:34. > :06:38.upping the right of money they had, the highest amount we have in this
:06:39. > :06:43.country is a ?50 note, Australia it's the $100 note. The reserve bank
:06:44. > :06:50.of Zimbabwe published this which is $100 trillion. It's become so
:06:51. > :06:55.popular that each of these are worth about ?40 online so they have become
:06:56. > :06:59.a collectors item. This has had an inflation of something like 1500%
:07:00. > :07:04.because suddenly it's a collectors item. This was meant to be, I have
:07:05. > :07:13.another note from the reserve bank of Zimbabwe, for 1 cent. From 1 cent
:07:14. > :07:37.to $100 trillion. I don't know, that will be 100 trillion and 1p. Dammit.
:07:38. > :07:46.It's time to move on to the second fact, that is... At its opening
:07:47. > :07:50.ceremony this week in the world's longest tunnel was ceremonially
:07:51. > :07:57.breast by a priest and then ceremonially not blessed by an
:07:58. > :08:02.atheist. -- was ceremonially blessed by a priest. This is a new tunnel,
:08:03. > :08:10.the world's longest rail tunnel, it goes through the Alps, under the
:08:11. > :08:16.Alps, obviously. We had an opening ceremony where they had a lot of
:08:17. > :08:20.people blessing at a catholic priest, Protestant minister, a rabbi
:08:21. > :08:24.and an imam who all did the blessings and they also had an
:08:25. > :08:30.atheist to not pray for anybody or anyone! I have a photograph of the
:08:31. > :08:41.blessing, the five people standing here in the tunnel. One of those
:08:42. > :08:48.five has no real function! Only kidding, four of them have no real
:08:49. > :08:53.function! LAUGHTER Anyway, they have had, it's an
:08:54. > :08:59.amazing tunnel and they've had an incredible fiesta. It was an
:09:00. > :09:03.incredible ceremony, it was to rival all Olympic opening ceremonies. I
:09:04. > :09:09.started looking into it and the first BBC article I opened about the
:09:10. > :09:16.opening ceremony had a warning saying contains nudity. But it does!
:09:17. > :09:20.At topless gymnast. You can see on the video is that the people in the
:09:21. > :09:25.room were thinking what is going on. I think they expected just a ribbon
:09:26. > :09:30.to be cut or something like that and then people wearing workers outfits
:09:31. > :09:38.started walking through and started, nudity, people dressed as animals.
:09:39. > :09:46.It was bizarre but great, really exciting. This is a cool tunnel.
:09:47. > :09:48.Although we have all missed the opening ceremony, don't worry
:09:49. > :09:55.because this weekend there is a festival happening! They anticipated
:09:56. > :09:59.about 100,000 people will go to the festival and the stuff on display,
:10:00. > :10:04.the entertainment they have laid on sounds amazing. They say there will
:10:05. > :10:08.be a train simulator, you get the chance to view the maintenance and
:10:09. > :10:14.intervention centres, you get to hear specialists telling about the
:10:15. > :10:22.fire and rescue train. It's going to be live Swiss watchmaking. At 200
:10:23. > :10:28.square metre display about freight transport. And on the website it
:10:29. > :10:36.says are festival without music would be like a tunnel without
:10:37. > :10:41.trains! The fun doesn't stop at the festival! I went on to a website
:10:42. > :10:45.that was run by them that they were promoting of things you could do in
:10:46. > :10:49.anticipation and excitement of getting ready for the opening of the
:10:50. > :10:54.tunnel and they had created and a least a game you can play which you
:10:55. > :10:58.can download onto your phone am an app you can download, and the idea
:10:59. > :11:04.is that you yourself can dig the longest tunnel in the world. I am
:11:05. > :11:09.playing it at the moment and it's just this big wall and you start
:11:10. > :11:15.tapping the screen and it starts digging into the tunnel. So to dig
:11:16. > :11:20.forward you have two tap and each finger tap goes one millimetre into
:11:21. > :11:27.the tunnel. You complete it when you have done 57 million taps. The idea
:11:28. > :11:34.the winner, the top 1015 would get to ride on the very first inaugural
:11:35. > :11:36.train ride. You would probably be able to spot them because they just
:11:37. > :11:44.had a stub where their fingers should be. It's an amazing
:11:45. > :11:47.achievement, the tunnel was conceived back in the 1940s I
:11:48. > :11:52.believe and they didn't start construction until the 1990s, 17
:11:53. > :11:58.years of going through this mountain. The machines are huge, the
:11:59. > :12:02.ones which dug the channel panel were the length of two football
:12:03. > :12:09.pitches, they are essentially movable factories. About 900 metres
:12:10. > :12:17.long. 400 metres long. I saw two together. Anything more? Can I show
:12:18. > :12:23.you a picture of a cool tunnel? LAUGHTER
:12:24. > :12:30.Of course! I assume that is why everyone came to light. This is our
:12:31. > :12:35.tunnel in Norway, the design is very cool. What it does, because it's so
:12:36. > :12:40.long there was a concern that drivers would get bored and start
:12:41. > :12:44.falling asleep so they have three huge car burns along the way which
:12:45. > :12:47.simulate daylight. It looks a bit like sunrise so they have tried to
:12:48. > :12:51.make it so they have glowing yellow light at the bottom and blue light
:12:52. > :12:56.at the top as if the sun is rising on a nice day and they deliberately
:12:57. > :13:04.could bend in the rows so you keep your attention. They have stuff to
:13:05. > :13:09.keep drivers entertained. That's interesting, putting bends into
:13:10. > :13:12.tunnels, we are recording in Greenwich and not far away is the
:13:13. > :13:18.Blackwall Tunnel, do you know why there is a bend in that tunnel? It's
:13:19. > :13:22.so interesting, it's because when it was originally built it was used to
:13:23. > :13:26.have horse carriages go through and the idea was that if horses see
:13:27. > :13:30.light at the end of the tunnel they will bolt for it so the idea was put
:13:31. > :13:34.a bend in the tunnel and at least we can get about halfway through before
:13:35. > :13:39.the horses cause chaos. The original reason there were bends in tunnels
:13:40. > :13:46.was you don't break the speed on it, I guess. So when horses tell each
:13:47. > :13:49.other that little thing, like you've had a hard week and they say there
:13:50. > :13:57.is a light at the end of the tunnel, the Goldwater! -- legal!
:13:58. > :14:03.We are halfway through, and it is time to look at the stories you have
:14:04. > :14:07.sent in by e-mail and social media. James I like this one by Ian will.
:14:08. > :14:13.He said that this week it was discovered that Tutankhamen had a
:14:14. > :14:18.dagger that came from outer space. That's good, isn't it? The eye and
:14:19. > :14:22.then it came from a meteorite, apparently. He did so much stuff.
:14:23. > :14:29.Every oldest version of Aberdeen, Tutankhamen had a version of it. He
:14:30. > :14:42.had socks, and he also wore sandals, so as far as we know, he was
:14:43. > :14:45.British. The Ramsgate inshore lifeboat scrambled this week into
:14:46. > :14:52.the sea near Dover to rescue a leather sofa. Did they bring it out?
:14:53. > :15:04.No, they drowned it. What? What about all the change? Andy, what
:15:05. > :15:08.would you send? I was sent this. A 24-year-old man has been given a
:15:09. > :15:15.fine and community service after throwing a lively and a foot long
:15:16. > :15:21.alligator through the door of a Wendy's drive-through in Florida.
:15:22. > :15:25.Wow! Shall we move on? It is time to move on to fact number three, and
:15:26. > :15:31.that is Anna Ptaszynski. My fact is that the judge who just ruled that
:15:32. > :15:38.all UK packets of tobacco have to be green is called Mr Green. I'm not
:15:39. > :15:49.saying he has a vested interest, but it does seem suspicious. This is a
:15:50. > :15:53.fact about World No Tobacco Day, which I'm sure everyone is
:15:54. > :15:58.celebrating. We have recently been told that plain packaging would be
:15:59. > :16:03.released in the UK. This was Mr Justice Green, who ruled that all
:16:04. > :16:09.tobacco packaging will be plain and in this muddy green colour. The
:16:10. > :16:12.tobacco companies challenged in the UK Government who said this would
:16:13. > :16:15.have to be the case, because it would damage their brands. He said
:16:16. > :16:24.that was nonsense and rejected the challenge. We will get green tobacco
:16:25. > :16:27.packets. Not a nice green, it is kind of disgusting. I will show it
:16:28. > :16:31.to you, because there might be some debate about whether it is green or
:16:32. > :16:35.brown. In Australia, they have these already, and in other parts of the
:16:36. > :16:40.world. They did a colour on this study and it is the colour that most
:16:41. > :16:47.people find revolting. It has been a big week for no smoking news, I have
:16:48. > :16:59.fun. I looked online, and there is a lot of stuff. In North Korea, the
:17:00. > :17:02.president has quit smoking. Kim Jong Un. I have a picture of him here,
:17:03. > :17:06.not smoking. APPLAUSE
:17:07. > :17:09.And look how happy he is! Here trying to get all of North Korea to
:17:10. > :17:14.quit as well. It is they new thing. They had put out an announcement
:17:15. > :17:18.saying that they will set up new facilities, hand out nicotine
:17:19. > :17:25.patches. They'll arrest anyone who smokes... Did anyone see this week
:17:26. > :17:29.about the North Korean Facebook? It is supposed to be a thing where you
:17:30. > :17:37.can't break in. There is a student in Scotland who tried to login with
:17:38. > :17:42.admin and password, and sure enough, he managed to get in. He was an
:17:43. > :17:47.administrator and he managed to delete people's profiles, could
:17:48. > :17:52.check all the advertising, censored certain words. This hacker managed
:17:53. > :17:57.to get in and found out in the meta data the official name of their
:17:58. > :18:04.version of Facebook, which is best careers social network. The slogan
:18:05. > :18:11.is - best career, and the rest career. China has been making some
:18:12. > :18:15.moves to reduce smoking levels. They will ban smoking in public places,
:18:16. > :18:19.apart from restaurants, bars, hotels and airports. You can also smoke in
:18:20. > :18:28.your workplace and inside individual officers. But they have come a long
:18:29. > :18:34.way for stopping 2009, the Chinese Government actually encouraged
:18:35. > :18:37.people to smoke, so this was a provincial Government. It was during
:18:38. > :18:46.a recession and they wanted to boost the economy with cigarette taxes.
:18:47. > :18:57.They main public employees buy cigarettes. Schools? Teachers had to
:18:58. > :19:04.buy them. Just on this Australian dark green packaging colour, it is
:19:05. > :19:10.actually a Pantone colour, 448 C. They hired a marketing research
:19:11. > :19:13.agency to find something disgusting. I read an investigation that Vice
:19:14. > :19:17.magazine did recently asking people what they thought of the colour, and
:19:18. > :19:22.the first person the art was this guy called Tom, who was 22, and the
:19:23. > :19:26.asked what the colour reminded him of, and he said, gunge, super slime,
:19:27. > :19:31.it reminds me of this overflowing drain around the back of my house.
:19:32. > :19:35.In some way, it's a nice colour. I would consider using it to decorate
:19:36. > :19:43.a bathroom kitchenette, if it works well in the space. One good thing.
:19:44. > :19:49.And people from smoking in public areas is this little guy, if you can
:19:50. > :19:54.see it. That's nice, isn't it? This is in a town in Germany. He rolls
:19:55. > :19:59.around, looks kind of sad, and then he notices when people are smoking,
:20:00. > :20:03.and he has a little sign saying, this area is non-smoking, or please
:20:04. > :20:14.follow me towards a non-smoking zone. I don't smoke, but I would
:20:15. > :20:21.kick his head in. This reminded me of a study at Georgia Tech where
:20:22. > :20:25.they simulated a fire in a room, a few rooms, actually, and there was
:20:26. > :20:28.smoke appearing to come out of one room, the alarm went off and people
:20:29. > :20:32.had to leave. There was a door that said fire exit, and everyone went
:20:33. > :20:36.out the fire exit. Then they did it again with the little robot that
:20:37. > :20:41.said on it, emergency guide robot, and that robots took people into the
:20:42. > :20:46.room that was obviously on fire. Even though there was a door that
:20:47. > :20:52.said emergency exit right next to them, and 26 out of 30 people
:20:53. > :20:59.followed the robot. Into the room that was obviously on fire. I think
:21:00. > :21:07.I might have done. Just to kick his head in? Don't you tell me not to
:21:08. > :21:13.burn to death. It is time for our final fact. That is James Harkin. My
:21:14. > :21:18.fact is that cicadas who have lived underground in West Virginia for 17
:21:19. > :21:25.years have finally emerged, only to be immediately eaten as an ice cream
:21:26. > :21:29.topping. They are called prime number cicadas, and they have a life
:21:30. > :21:34.cycle where they live underground for a prime number of years, 17
:21:35. > :21:38.years, then they come up and go back underground for 70 more years and
:21:39. > :21:43.then come back up again. Say you came up every six years and you had
:21:44. > :21:47.animals that bread every two years, every three generations they would
:21:48. > :21:51.find you and eat you. If you come up every 17 years, the animals who
:21:52. > :21:56.breed every three years would only ever see you every 51 years and they
:21:57. > :22:02.would not rely on you for food. They are disgusting in their luck. The
:22:03. > :22:08.idea of it on ice cream... People love to eat them, though, but even
:22:09. > :22:13.the woman who wrote the best recipe book for cicadas that there is, an
:22:14. > :22:17.entomologist called Jenna Jade in, she opens the book by saying that
:22:18. > :22:27.the University of Maryland and sick at the influence -- and interest
:22:28. > :22:32.groups do not recommend eating them. I have some cookies made from
:22:33. > :22:41.cicadas. This is what they look like. Thank you for sending these,
:22:42. > :22:47.Rising Creek Bakery in Pennsylvania. But not for making them. They sell
:22:48. > :22:54.locus in New Zealand, but they have rebranded it so that if you don't
:22:55. > :22:59.want to eat locusts... They call it sky prawns.
:23:00. > :23:08.APPLAUSE To you how -- do you know how to
:23:09. > :23:13.catch a cicada? The only reason they come up is to breed and then die.
:23:14. > :23:19.They'd bite, they just sing and scream as they look for sex before
:23:20. > :23:26.dying. Is that there are Tinder -- is that there are Tinder profile?
:23:27. > :23:31.You can catch them if you are quick enough in your response. If you hear
:23:32. > :23:38.a male singing, it will fly over Berlin 20 seconds and try to have
:23:39. > :23:44.sex with you. Top tip their! -- top tip there! There are problems with
:23:45. > :23:50.machinery sounding like the male cicadas, which make the noise, and
:23:51. > :23:52.the females try to make with. Lawn mowers are flooded with female
:23:53. > :23:58.cicadas because of the noise they make. It makes it very easy to
:23:59. > :24:09.crunch them up and put them on your ice cream. Cicadas do something
:24:10. > :24:15.interesting during sex. They will have sex, and then in a lot of
:24:16. > :24:20.cases, the male will just put a plug into the females so that she doesn't
:24:21. > :24:29.have sex with anyone else. Also, they have STIs. It is a fungus that
:24:30. > :24:34.makes them but to. Imagine if that transferred to humans! Basically, it
:24:35. > :24:41.is a fungus that gets into their backside, and it takes it down. Can
:24:42. > :24:46.they tell and they having sex with a cicada that doesn't have a bottom? I
:24:47. > :24:54.never asked. A public information campaign, with a picture of cicada
:24:55. > :25:00.with no bottom. Well we are at the end of a cicada, have you heard of
:25:01. > :25:03.cicada rape? When they hatch, they spend all their time underground
:25:04. > :25:07.feeding on tree roots, that is how they survive for 17 years. And they
:25:08. > :25:12.take on a lot of water. When they hatch, they sit on trees and they
:25:13. > :25:15.are constantly excreting, so a lot of entomologists say you have to
:25:16. > :25:30.take an umbrella otherwise you will be constantly during a on by
:25:31. > :25:40.cicadas. The cicada Mania website... Try some sky prawns honey. No one is
:25:41. > :25:44.buying locust honey. The website says, be sure to wear a hat or use
:25:45. > :25:50.an umbrella when booking under trees if that sort of thing bothers you!
:25:51. > :25:54.LAUGHTER Insect wheeling on you. I have one
:25:55. > :26:02.last fight before we go, which is that 17 years ago, the cicada
:26:03. > :26:08.started their 17 year cycle, which means that they started at the exact
:26:09. > :26:15.same time as the Gotthard base tunnel. No!
:26:16. > :26:19.APPLAUSE So, that's it, that's all of our
:26:20. > :26:22.facts. Just time to share with you for mac stories that we didn't have
:26:23. > :26:30.time to cover, and we'll start with you, Andy. This is from Business
:26:31. > :26:38.Insider, and it is that a former director of Barclays has been
:26:39. > :26:40.arrested and charged with fraud for paying his plumber with tips about
:26:41. > :26:48.forthcoming mergers and acquisitions. Anna? This is from
:26:49. > :26:51.Signs News, and it is a story that physicists have discovered that
:26:52. > :26:59.Schrodinger's cat is not only alive and dead at the same time, it is
:27:00. > :27:02.also in two different boxes at once. My fact is from MSN news. You should
:27:03. > :27:10.not... LAUGHTER
:27:11. > :27:15.That is exactly the right reaction to that. Some of us still use it.
:27:16. > :27:26.You should not use ketchup on your hot dog when over the edge of -- age
:27:27. > :27:31.of 18. That is a new ruling from the US National hotdog and sausage
:27:32. > :27:38.Council. Finally, James. Mine is a US Senate press release, and it is
:27:39. > :27:43.that Arizona Senator Jeff Flake has reported on what he calls wasteful
:27:44. > :27:46.research, including $5 million spent on finding out whether drunk birds
:27:47. > :28:01.slow when they sing. LAUGHTER
:28:02. > :28:09.-- slur, money spent on whether gold fish think they are sexy, and
:28:10. > :28:15.research into how long it takes to P like a racehorse.
:28:16. > :28:24.-- you're in it like a racehorse. Now Robert Jayne Hill in the studio.
:28:25. > :28:34.Gotthard, sounds a little bit like got hard. -- now over to Jane Hill.
:28:35. > :28:37.We will see you next week with facts about the stories of the week.
:28:38. > :28:42.Thanks for watching. Goodbye.