The House

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06# Yeah, not going out not staying in

0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Just hanging around with my head in a spin

0:00:09 > 0:00:12# But there is no need to scream and shout

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# Yeah, not going out

0:00:15 > 0:00:19# We are not going out. #

0:00:21 > 0:00:24SLEIGH BELLS

0:00:24 > 0:00:27WIND WHISTLES

0:00:27 > 0:00:29Are you sure we're going the right way?

0:00:29 > 0:00:32How many times have you actually been to this house?

0:00:32 > 0:00:36Don't worry, I'm like a homing pigeon, me. I go somewhere once...

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Eat everything you can find, spread disease

0:00:38 > 0:00:39and leave the place covered in crap.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44I can't believe you're still annoyed with me.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47Lee, I agreed to spend Christmas with you for one simple reason.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48So I could get away from my mum and dad.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51And what do you do? Invite them along too.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53They invited themselves. What could I say?

0:00:53 > 0:00:56You could've said, "No." You could've said, "Sorry, you aren't invited."

0:00:56 > 0:01:01I could've said, "Geoffrey, could you get your hands off my throat and stop gripping my testicles?"

0:01:01 > 0:01:03He wants to make sure I keep my hands off his grubby daughter.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07I might have said that wrong, but you know what I mean.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10No, he doesn't. He knows you're just the paying lodger.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14Auntie Maureen's been asking me to visit again for years,

0:01:14 > 0:01:17but I've never been that keen on her so I kept putting her off,

0:01:17 > 0:01:20- but now I feel the time's finally right.- Why?

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Because she's dead.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26The place has just been standing empty for years,

0:01:26 > 0:01:31and my cousin said it's the last chance to use it before it gets sold off, so I thought why not?

0:01:31 > 0:01:34- Well, I notice you didn't invite your dad.- I did, actually.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37But I think the way I pronounced "Yorkshire Dales" put him off joining us.

0:01:37 > 0:01:38How did you pronounce it?

0:01:38 > 0:01:40"Angola".

0:01:41 > 0:01:43Well, you know what he's like.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45If he knew we were coming, he'd turn up.

0:01:45 > 0:01:49The last thing we need is any more unwanted baggage.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52SHE YAWNS

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Are we close?

0:01:55 > 0:01:58We'll be there soon. We just have to stop for provisions first.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Are you sure this shop will have everything we need?

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Dad is very particular about his Christmas dinner.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Trust me. It's a proper, old-fashioned country store.

0:02:05 > 0:02:09All traditional stuff that your dad is going to love.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Just watch, Lucy. Christmas starts here.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15WIND WHISTLES

0:02:16 > 0:02:18I think they've downsized since my last visit.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Which was when?

0:02:20 > 0:02:211976.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Cashier number one, please.

0:02:32 > 0:02:33What can I get you?

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Don't worry, love, we'll use the self-scanning facilities.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Actually, I've brought a list.

0:02:40 > 0:02:44Bechamel sauce. Pancetta. Cinnamon.

0:02:44 > 0:02:45Grated nutmeg.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Probably just skip to the bit where it says "potatoes".

0:02:47 > 0:02:51Preferably very misshapen ones with all the green roots sticking out.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Sorry to be so specific it's just that...

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Oh, you have got some. Fantastic.

0:02:55 > 0:02:59We only stock the essentials. This is a traditional country shop.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04What country, North Korea?

0:03:04 > 0:03:06Well, there were a time I had a real shop.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09But you know how it goes.

0:03:10 > 0:03:15They built the bypass, Tesco Express opened 35 miles away

0:03:15 > 0:03:17and I was buggered.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Well, they do say these things come in threes.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28SWING CREAKS

0:03:28 > 0:03:30OWL HOOTS

0:03:37 > 0:03:39WIND WHISTLES

0:03:39 > 0:03:41CHAIR CREAKS

0:03:44 > 0:03:45Ta-da!

0:03:49 > 0:03:51So, what do you think?

0:03:51 > 0:03:53I think I'm going back to that potato van,

0:03:53 > 0:03:55ask her if she's got any rooms to let.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Well, I think it's charming.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Charming? What kind of idiot would think this was charming?

0:04:00 > 0:04:03Oh, wow! This is charming!

0:04:06 > 0:04:11Look, that chair over there is rocking on its own.

0:04:11 > 0:04:12It's not doing it on its own.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15It's probably a gust of wind coming through the door.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18WIND CONTINUES

0:04:18 > 0:04:20All right, through the window.

0:04:20 > 0:04:26Well, I think it might be something a little more supernatural.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Yeah, course it is, Daisy. That's the thing about ghosts.

0:04:28 > 0:04:33They've got no earthly form, apart from massive arse cheeks.

0:04:33 > 0:04:34I've been told I have a sixth sense.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Yeah, right.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39My grandma once appeared at the end of my bed.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41She told me I had a gift.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Was your grandma alive at the time?

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Yes.

0:04:45 > 0:04:46Was it your birthday?

0:04:46 > 0:04:47Whoa! This is freaky.

0:04:49 > 0:04:50CHAIR CREAKS

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- It won't stop rocking, Lee.- I know.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55It's like the Status Quo of chairs.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05There you go, sorted.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07- Right, I'm going upstairs. - Good idea.

0:05:07 > 0:05:11I'll straighten this place up ready for your mum and dad. You two go and freshen up.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Yeah, all you'll need is a duster, some soapy water

0:05:13 > 0:05:16and a bulldozer and this old wreck might start to look half decent.

0:05:16 > 0:05:20Oh, don't be hard on yourself - just have a bath and put some make-up on.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27RECORD CRACKLES

0:05:27 > 0:05:30MUSIC: "Last Christmas" by Wham!

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Oh, wow! Good job.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52Well, all this cottage needed was a bit of a clean and some George Michael.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Blimey, I must be feeling festive -

0:05:54 > 0:05:59I just said the words "cottage" and "George Michael" and didn't do the obvious gag.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01You mean the one about the dog with no nose?

0:06:04 > 0:06:07Well, I see somebody's been busy with the old spit and polish.

0:06:07 > 0:06:12Well, that's another version of the George Michael gag, I suppose.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15This is for you, from Lucy. I wonder what it is?

0:06:15 > 0:06:18- I hope it's what I think it is. I dropped enough hints.- What?

0:06:18 > 0:06:22- A PlayStation Portable.- Shouldn't you have outgrown that by now?

0:06:22 > 0:06:24I would've done if she'd bought it me last year like I asked.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29- I got this for Lucy.- What is it? - Oh, just something small.

0:06:29 > 0:06:33You know what they say, "It's not the size of your package that counts,

0:06:33 > 0:06:34"it's how big your penis is."

0:06:38 > 0:06:40- So, er, what is it? - Oh, isn't it obvious?

0:06:40 > 0:06:44Well, you must have heard her dropping all those hints about how much she loves silk.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46And how her neck gets cold in bad weather.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Oh, great, we've got her the same thing!

0:06:49 > 0:06:51What, you got her a Spider-Man balaclava as well?

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Blimey! Am I in a different house?

0:06:56 > 0:06:59Yes, we're on holiday remember?

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Oh, wow! This looks great. Well done!

0:07:02 > 0:07:05Dad might not mind this place after all.

0:07:05 > 0:07:10Right. Time to siphon the python. Anyone?

0:07:10 > 0:07:14Oh, no, no. Wrong phrase. That's not the cup of tea one, is it?

0:07:17 > 0:07:20So, erm, you've not been here since you were a little boy?

0:07:20 > 0:07:22No. Auntie Maureen was away for Christmas

0:07:22 > 0:07:25so me and my dad came up here on our own. Just the two of us.

0:07:25 > 0:07:29Although I didn't see much of him. He left me to entertain myself in front of the box.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31I wouldn't have minded if we'd had a television,

0:07:31 > 0:07:35but there's only so much entertainment you can get from 26 Shredded Wheat.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38- I was glad when Ralph turned up. - Ralph?

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Yeah. He was the son of some woman my dad was seeing.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42We used to play down in that cellar over there.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Used to play a great game called coalface.

0:07:44 > 0:07:47Basically I used to throw loads of coal at his face. Happy days.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51Is that where you got the kindling for the fire?

0:07:51 > 0:07:54No, I can't open it. Door's locked. No key.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59So what did you use?

0:07:59 > 0:08:03- I chopped up that old rocking chair and used that instead.- Lee!

0:08:03 > 0:08:06What? It was freaking you out, and I needed the wood.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09That chair looked really old. You shouldn't have burnt it.

0:08:09 > 0:08:14Lucy's right. Guess what I've just discovered?

0:08:14 > 0:08:17How to count to 20 with your socks on?

0:08:17 > 0:08:18No.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22The fridge light only comes on when you open the door.

0:08:22 > 0:08:23Does it?!

0:08:25 > 0:08:27So, what have you discovered?

0:08:27 > 0:08:32This - a photograph. A very old photograph

0:08:33 > 0:08:34- Oh, my God, Lee.- What?

0:08:34 > 0:08:37If it's that one of me dressed as a Chinese boy, it's not racist.

0:08:37 > 0:08:38I was about to sneeze.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46It's a picture of a boy in a rocking chair.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50It says on the back "Christmas Eve, 1893".

0:08:50 > 0:08:53I hate to tell you this, but I'm getting a strong feeling

0:08:53 > 0:08:56that the child in that photograph...

0:08:56 > 0:08:57is dead.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02Maybe it was the ghost of this boy

0:09:02 > 0:09:07that was making that chair rock earlier. Until you burnt it.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10Look, there's nothing spooky about this house.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12I've been here before remember?

0:09:12 > 0:09:15So, can you stop acting like terrified little children?

0:09:15 > 0:09:17Don't hurt me!

0:09:17 > 0:09:18It's just Dad.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21I know. Why do you think I said, "Don't hurt me"?

0:09:21 > 0:09:23So, you got here all right then, Geoffrey?

0:09:23 > 0:09:26No, we died halfway here in a car accident.

0:09:28 > 0:09:29Ah... The plot thickens.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33- So, what's in the box?- A turkey.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36There's also several bags of food and drink in the back of the car.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37Oh, brilliant! Thanks, Dad!

0:09:37 > 0:09:39That's very generous of you, Geoffrey.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42But I did make it clear that I was arranging all the supplies this week.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43Yes, you did.

0:09:43 > 0:09:47That's why we brought a turkey and several bags of food and drink.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50But I can leave it all in the car if you don't need it.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Do you need it?

0:09:52 > 0:09:54- Yes.- Good.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57It's all in the boot, Lee. Car keys in the bowl.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Maybe we should unpack the car before we get on to the wife-swapping.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06Sorry about Geoffrey. He does like things done in a certain way.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09All right, we'll do the wife-swapping first.

0:10:09 > 0:10:15Well, this all looks very...cosy. Not really what I was expecting.

0:10:15 > 0:10:20No. I must admit, I arrived here expecting a dump.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22No need to ask, Geoffrey, just go and have one.

0:10:28 > 0:10:32I'll... I'll go and get the rest of the food.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34By the way, who was that child we passed on the way in?

0:10:34 > 0:10:37WIND WHISTLES

0:10:39 > 0:10:41What child?

0:10:41 > 0:10:44There was a young boy standing at the gatepost as we drove in.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48Did he look like this?

0:10:49 > 0:10:54I couldn't really see. His face was shrouded with a hood.

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Did he look...

0:10:55 > 0:10:57like this?

0:11:01 > 0:11:03I told you, Wendy, there was no boy.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05It must have been a sheep.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09There you go. A sheep. That explains everything.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13- It wasn't a sheep.- It's quite possible to mistake a sheep for a young man on a dark night,

0:11:13 > 0:11:15especially when you're going at speed.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16..Your Honour.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22So, now we have a rocking chair, a photograph

0:11:22 > 0:11:25and a boy with the power to turn into a sheep.

0:11:27 > 0:11:29Daisy thinks the house is haunted.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31How exciting! Who by?

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Hard to say, but I think probably...

0:11:34 > 0:11:35a ghost.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41A ghost that Lee has awoken from its slumber.

0:11:41 > 0:11:46It's been here for 120 years and it's very unhappy with him.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50I've only been here five minutes and I know how it feels.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53There's no such thing as ghosts, Daisy.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56There you go - a sensible voice at last.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58So, are you going to bring the rest of that food in then, Lee?

0:12:01 > 0:12:03WIND WHISTLES

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Actually, I'll do it in the morning.

0:12:05 > 0:12:09Right! Who fancies a small glass of brandy to start the Christmas week?

0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Or a large glass? - I think I'll have a bath.

0:12:12 > 0:12:13Oh, thirsty.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28I know you're going to say I'm paranoid, but I don't think your dad likes me.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Oh, don't be silly.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Of course you're not paranoid.

0:12:32 > 0:12:36Trust me, I can tell he's happy by looking at his hands.

0:12:36 > 0:12:40- What about his hands? - They're not around your neck.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44Thanks again, Lee, for inviting us here, it's very kind of you, isn't it, Geoffrey?

0:12:44 > 0:12:46- MUTTERING:- Yes, yes. Very good of you.

0:12:46 > 0:12:51I hope we're not spoiling any plans you might have had by joining you for Christmas, Lee.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56No, no plans. Just a good old traditional Christmas,

0:12:56 > 0:13:00staring at stockings, wondering what's inside them,

0:13:00 > 0:13:03wanting to...rip them open.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08Your chestnuts...roasting on an open fire.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Hey, look what else I've found!

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Some old sheet music for the penny whistle.

0:13:17 > 0:13:21Just like the boy's playing in the photograph. Silent Night.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23Where do you keep finding this stuff?

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Just lying around in the kitchen.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30Almost as if someone wanted us to find it.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33- Maybe we're being sent a message. - Yeah, course we are, Daisy.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36"You burned my rocking chair, and despite the fact that I'm dead,

0:13:36 > 0:13:38"I'm going to seek revenge by turning into a sheep

0:13:38 > 0:13:41"and leaving music of Christmas songs lying around."

0:13:41 > 0:13:43All makes complete sense to me.

0:13:43 > 0:13:47Did this ghost used to write the clues on 3-2-1?

0:13:47 > 0:13:49GLASS SHATTERS

0:13:49 > 0:13:52- What was that? - MORE GLASS SHATTERS

0:13:52 > 0:13:53It's coming from the cellar.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56But it's locked. Who could have got down there?

0:13:56 > 0:13:57Who do you think?

0:13:57 > 0:14:00Who knows this old house better than anyone?

0:14:00 > 0:14:02Shakin' Stevens?

0:14:08 > 0:14:12I should have known. It's coming from behind a green door.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14- CRASHING - Oh, God!

0:14:14 > 0:14:15It's OK. There's nothing to be scared of.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17He's right, Lucy. It's probably just rats.

0:14:17 > 0:14:21Yeah, course it is. There's nothing to fear down there.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24But just to put her mind at rest, Lee,

0:14:24 > 0:14:26wrench that cellar door open and go down there and check.

0:14:28 > 0:14:29What?

0:14:30 > 0:14:34Stop Lucy's mind racing. And Daisy's.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37Although I suspect that's more of a three-legged race.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47- Hang on. Listen.- What?

0:14:47 > 0:14:49I think it's stopped.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Are you sure? I can't hear anything.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Geoffrey's right. Must be rats. But they've obviously gone away.

0:14:57 > 0:15:01I think we're all letting our imaginations run a little wild, don't you?

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Maybe we should all just go to bed.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04Good idea.

0:15:04 > 0:15:08Geoffrey, Wendy, you're in the room just next to Daisy and Lucy,

0:15:08 > 0:15:12and I'm right on the other side of the house, all on my little ownsome.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Don't worry, Lee, the rats can't get you up there.

0:15:16 > 0:15:20Just the ghost of the disgruntled, dead child that you want to watch out for.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37DOOR CREAKS OPEN

0:15:43 > 0:15:47FOOTSTEPS CREAK ON FLOORBOARDS

0:15:58 > 0:16:00HE YELLS

0:16:04 > 0:16:07- What the hell are you doing?! - I heard a noise downstairs.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10Well, I'm not apologising for that, I was terrified.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15It sounded like a musical instrument being played.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18Like the one that boy was holding in that picture.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Oh, not this again.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23Ghosts don't exist, Lucy. There are no ghosts.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27I do not want to hear the word "ghosts" mentioned again.

0:16:27 > 0:16:31PENNY WHISTLE PLAYS SILENT NIGHT

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Oh, Christ, it's a ghost!

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Lucy, what are you doing?

0:16:36 > 0:16:40If your dad comes in here, he'll have my bollocks as baubles.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42I mean it, Lucy. Get out!

0:16:42 > 0:16:45No chance. There's a dead thing down there blowing a penny whistle.

0:16:45 > 0:16:50If your dad walks in here, he'll think you're blowing MY penny whistle!

0:16:50 > 0:16:53PENNY WHISTLE CONTINUES

0:16:56 > 0:16:57What do you think it wants?

0:16:57 > 0:17:01I dunno. I only know about ghosts from that Patrick Swayze film.

0:17:01 > 0:17:05I don't know if he wants to kill me or sit at a potter's wheel and do me from behind.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10That's not what happened in that film.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12You didn't see the version I saw.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19It's stopped.

0:17:20 > 0:17:21Maybe he's gone away.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23DOOR BANGS OPEN

0:17:23 > 0:17:25BOTH SCREAM

0:17:25 > 0:17:28She's scared of ghosts. Nothing I'm doing.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31- What the hell's going on?- Nothing.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Nothing? You're in bed with my daughter.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36How could you lower yourself like this?

0:17:36 > 0:17:40Oh, don't be like that, she's not a bad-looking girl.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Honestly, Dad, there's nothing going on. I promise.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44I heard creepy noises and I was scared.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47Hmm, well, any strange noise in this house is probably

0:17:47 > 0:17:49caused by Lee pretending to be a ghost.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51- I'm not doing anything. - Course you are.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55You're playing tricks on Lucy because you want to put the willies up her.

0:18:05 > 0:18:10Can someone say something before my gum starts bleeding?

0:18:10 > 0:18:14PENNY WHISTLE PLAYS SILENT NIGHT

0:18:27 > 0:18:30Be careful, Dad.

0:18:30 > 0:18:31You be careful too, Lucy.

0:18:38 > 0:18:39BOTH SCREAM

0:18:41 > 0:18:43What's going on?

0:18:43 > 0:18:45We are running away to join the circus,

0:18:45 > 0:18:49but we are short of a clown. Do you fancy making up the numbers?

0:18:49 > 0:18:51We heard someone playing the penny whistle

0:18:51 > 0:18:54I can't hear anything.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Me neither.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58PENNY WHISTLE STARTS AGAIN

0:19:00 > 0:19:04I don't know what it is exactly, but it's in the toilet.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07Sounds like you telling me off at home.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11Daisy? Daisy, is that you?

0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Yes. Hello! - ALL YELP

0:19:14 > 0:19:19So, the undead has finally awoken.

0:19:24 > 0:19:25What are you doing?

0:19:25 > 0:19:29In films, it's always the one at the back that gets it first.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Well, the ghost won't get you, he'll probably just ask you out.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45What is it?

0:19:45 > 0:19:48Well, there's only one way to find out.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57ALL YELP

0:19:57 > 0:19:59PENNY WHISTLE STOPS ABRUPTLY

0:20:01 > 0:20:03I'd give it five minutes if I were you.

0:20:07 > 0:20:11- Dad, what are you doing? - I've got a lizard that lives up me bum and it's dead thirsty.

0:20:11 > 0:20:12What do you think I'm doing?

0:20:15 > 0:20:19So, you're Frank. I'm Wendy, very nice to meet you.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Um, I would offer to shake...

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Oh, that's generous but I'll do that myself when I'm finished.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30I don't know what he's doing here, but at least that explains everything.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Let's just brick up the doorway and forget this ever happened.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35I can hear you through this door, you know.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37So can we. Can you run a tap or something?

0:20:41 > 0:20:44- That was quick.- Well, when Geoffrey came at me with that poker

0:20:44 > 0:20:47it sort of speeded things up, if you know what I mean.

0:20:47 > 0:20:51No, we don't, Dad. Could you be a bit more graphic, please?

0:20:51 > 0:20:52I don't understand.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56I thought Lee invited you for Christmas but you couldn't make it.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Invited me? Did he balls invite me.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01I had no idea anyone else was here till 30 seconds ago.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03So, what are you doing here, Frank?

0:21:03 > 0:21:06Well, this place has got some very happy memories for me.

0:21:06 > 0:21:11Remember '76, Lee? Decorating the tree, going to Carol's at midnight.

0:21:11 > 0:21:12I didn't know you were religious.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15We're not. And neither was Carol.

0:21:15 > 0:21:18That's the woman I was telling you about that Dad was seeing.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22I got here this afternoon. I've been out all day looking for provisions.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25All I could find in that drawer was a little music book and a penny whistle.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27That explains why everything was lying around.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30Well, it doesn't explain everything, though, does it?

0:21:30 > 0:21:32What about that noise in the cellar?

0:21:32 > 0:21:34I told you. Rats.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36All right but what about the boy at the gate?

0:21:36 > 0:21:38Well, Dad's quite small.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41You wouldn't mistake him for a little boy, though.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43No, but you might mistake him for a sheep.

0:21:43 > 0:21:47Especially that particular breed that's always drunk and after money.

0:21:47 > 0:21:52I'm not after anything. I just had nowhere to go this Christmas.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55I'm sorry if I scared you and I certainly don't want to intrude

0:21:55 > 0:21:59on your festivities, so I'll be on my way first thing in the morning.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Don't be silly, Dad,

0:22:04 > 0:22:06it'll take you ages to get back home in this weather.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09Best you set off now and make a head start.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12Lee's joking of course. We wouldn't hear of you leaving.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14You must spend Christmas with us.

0:22:14 > 0:22:19Well, erm, let's not be too hasty. Where would he sleep?

0:22:19 > 0:22:21I could share a bed with our Lee.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26Actually, that's an excellent idea.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28After all, Lee, it is Christmas.

0:22:30 > 0:22:34Don't worry, Lee. You can still sneak Lucy into the bed.

0:22:34 > 0:22:36We can go top to tail and I'll keep my eyes closed.

0:22:36 > 0:22:37Please stop talking.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Well, I don't know about everybody else,

0:22:50 > 0:22:52- but I feel a bit stupid this morning.- Don't worry.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Things look very different in the middle of the night.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03You know, I think I'd prefer you were a ghost.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05They might carry their heads under their arms,

0:23:05 > 0:23:07but at least they manage to tuck their balls in.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16Remind me again why I didn't invite him.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18You know, to be honest with you, Lucy, love,

0:23:18 > 0:23:21I'm quite surprised a sensible girl like you ever believed

0:23:21 > 0:23:23the legend of the ghost in the first place.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25Except it's not a legend, is it?

0:23:25 > 0:23:28It's just a silly theory Daisy came up with.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Yes, well, they laughed at Isaac Newton's theories.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33But if he hadn't have invented gravity, we'd all still be

0:23:33 > 0:23:37floating around looking for heavy shoes.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41You mean you've not heard the legend of the ghost of the little boy?

0:23:41 > 0:23:45I think we've all heard enough talk about ghosts, thank you very much.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48Of course. And you're absolutely right, Geoffrey.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51My lips are sealed.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53No, come on Frank. What legend?

0:23:53 > 0:23:55It was Christmas Eve, 1893.

0:23:56 > 0:23:59The little boy in the picture lived here then, just him and his dad.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01And every day the dad would go off to work,

0:24:01 > 0:24:03while the little lad played.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06And every night he'd wait for his father to come home,

0:24:06 > 0:24:10just sitting, waiting, in his rocking chair.

0:24:10 > 0:24:15Every night, just rocking, back and forth. Back and forth.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17All alone in this big house.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19The lucky bastard.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25One Christmas Eve after they'd built a snowman together

0:24:25 > 0:24:30the dad went off, promising to return with a special Christmas present.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32The little boy waited, excited.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Rocking, back and forth, back and forth.

0:24:35 > 0:24:39But the snow came down, thick and cold. Like today.

0:24:39 > 0:24:43And, well, the dad...never came home.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45What happened to him?

0:24:45 > 0:24:50No-one really knows. Some say he might have killed himself.

0:24:50 > 0:24:54How could someone in such a beautiful place like this ever want to kill themselves?

0:24:54 > 0:24:55I buy it.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59All Christmas the boy waited for his father.

0:24:59 > 0:25:03Until eventually he died too, from a broken heart, they say.

0:25:05 > 0:25:09The legend is he still waits for his father to return with the presents.

0:25:09 > 0:25:15Rocking back and forth, back and forth in his rocking chair.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18Until Lee chucked it on the fire.

0:25:19 > 0:25:23Well, like I say, it's probably a load of bollocks.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27Talking of which, the Mitchell Brothers have popped out again.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35Right, I'm off to that caravan shop.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38I've got a sudden urge for a couple of King Edwards.

0:25:44 > 0:25:48Yes, well, we must make a move too before this snow gets any worse.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51- Where are you going?- Our traditional Christmas Eve family walk.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54Good idea. I like a nice long stroll.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56How does 300 miles one way grab you?

0:25:56 > 0:25:58Give us a minute, Geoffrey, we'll just get dressed.

0:25:58 > 0:26:02Well, I don't wish to be rude, but these walks are a family tradition.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04Wendy and I use them to catch up with Lucy.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Fast walker is she?

0:26:11 > 0:26:14MUSIC: "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"

0:26:14 > 0:26:18You know, this reminds me of 1976.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22You, as a little boy, hanging your stocking up,

0:26:22 > 0:26:24waiting for your presents.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27Yeah. You telling me leave a glass of whisky out for Santa.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Not forgetting Rudolph.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32One for him, too.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36And for Donner, and Dancer and Blitzen.

0:26:36 > 0:26:37And the others.

0:26:37 > 0:26:41I never even knew there was a reindeer called Steve.

0:26:41 > 0:26:44Talking of presents, what have you done with them?

0:26:44 > 0:26:47- How do you mean? - The presents, from under the tree.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55- I haven't touched them. - Well, they were there when everyone left for that walk,

0:26:55 > 0:26:58and there's been no-one here except me and you.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00DOOR CREAKS

0:27:04 > 0:27:07How come haunted houses never have any WD-40?

0:27:09 > 0:27:11When did you unlock that cellar door?

0:27:13 > 0:27:14I didn't.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for all this.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Yes, of course there is.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29Although it would fit the legend, wouldn't it?

0:27:30 > 0:27:31How do you mean?

0:27:31 > 0:27:34That Christmas when the dad didn't come home,

0:27:34 > 0:27:35the little boy didn't get his presents.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37Maybe he's making up for it now.

0:27:38 > 0:27:43Well, he's going to be disappointed when he opens a fondue set and a biography of Tom Hanks.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45BANG

0:27:47 > 0:27:50We'd better check down there. So, off you go.

0:27:55 > 0:27:56HE CLICKS LIGHT

0:27:58 > 0:28:00The bulb's gone.

0:28:00 > 0:28:03Don't worry, your Auntie Maureen always kept a box of spares.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06Good. Where are they?

0:28:06 > 0:28:08Right down there at the back of the cellar.

0:28:16 > 0:28:17Hello?

0:28:20 > 0:28:22Is there anyone in here?

0:28:22 > 0:28:24Hello?

0:28:26 > 0:28:29By the way, can I just say I felt the film The Exorcist

0:28:29 > 0:28:32painted you lot in a very bad light.

0:28:40 > 0:28:43BANGING

0:28:43 > 0:28:46WARDROBE DOOR RATTLES

0:28:46 > 0:28:48Well, it's either a lion or a witch,

0:28:48 > 0:28:51but either way, it's not looking good.

0:28:51 > 0:28:54RATTLING CONTINUES

0:28:58 > 0:28:59HISSING

0:28:59 > 0:29:02LEE SCREAMS

0:29:02 > 0:29:05What are you doing down here, you mangy little git?

0:29:05 > 0:29:07HE YELPS

0:29:08 > 0:29:11What are you doing down here, you mangy little git?

0:29:11 > 0:29:15- I heard you scream. - It's just the cat from the caravan.

0:29:15 > 0:29:18There must be an open window and he's got trapped down here or something.

0:29:18 > 0:29:21Well, at least that explains the noises from down here.

0:29:21 > 0:29:25But it doesn't explain the cellar door being open, does it? Or the missing presents.

0:29:25 > 0:29:28No. But maybe that does.

0:29:35 > 0:29:36Maybe it doesn't mean us.

0:29:37 > 0:29:40Well, that's all right,

0:29:40 > 0:29:42cos we are leaving. In a day or two.

0:29:46 > 0:29:48Oh, yeah? Or else what?

0:29:55 > 0:29:57None of this makes sense.

0:29:57 > 0:29:59If there is a ghost in this house, which there isn't,

0:29:59 > 0:30:02how come I didn't see it when I was down here with Ralph?

0:30:02 > 0:30:03Who?

0:30:03 > 0:30:06Ralph. That kid I used to play with.

0:30:06 > 0:30:08What kid?

0:30:08 > 0:30:10The son of Carol, the woman you were knocking off.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13Ralph. Sort of miserable, pale-looking.

0:30:15 > 0:30:17What?

0:30:17 > 0:30:20Lee, she didn't have a son.

0:30:20 > 0:30:22You used to play down here on your own.

0:30:22 > 0:30:24Well, who was that boy?

0:30:24 > 0:30:27Oh, the little bastard! He could have told me he was a ghost!

0:30:27 > 0:30:29No wonder he never agreed to an arm wrestle.

0:30:29 > 0:30:31You're telling me you've seen this ghost before?

0:30:31 > 0:30:34Seen it? I used to throw coal at his face.

0:30:34 > 0:30:37No wonder he doesn't like you.

0:30:37 > 0:30:39And now you've burnt his rocking chair.

0:30:39 > 0:30:44Ralph, Ralph, whatever Lee did to you, it was nothing to do with me.

0:30:44 > 0:30:48So if you're looking for revenge, please remember that!

0:30:48 > 0:30:49I'm getting out of here.

0:30:53 > 0:30:55Oh, God, he's locked us in!

0:30:55 > 0:30:58He's going to throw coal in my face then kill me! HELP!

0:30:59 > 0:31:01Try pushing.

0:31:05 > 0:31:07You shouldn't have burnt his chair.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10It's not my fault the kid's got an unhealthy interest in antique pine.

0:31:10 > 0:31:15When I was his age I used to be into normal childhood things like KerPlunk and shoplifting.

0:31:15 > 0:31:17Look, try not to be too scared.

0:31:17 > 0:31:19Scared? I'm not scared.

0:31:19 > 0:31:22There's nothing a ghost can do to hurt me. I'm not afraid.

0:31:22 > 0:31:23HE YELPS

0:31:23 > 0:31:25I wish people would stop doing that.

0:31:25 > 0:31:27Hail, fellows, well met!

0:31:27 > 0:31:31The weary travellers are returned to the warm hearth!

0:31:31 > 0:31:34Oh, God, Geoffrey's been possessed.

0:31:34 > 0:31:37Festive spirit, Lee, that's the only thing that's possessing me.

0:31:37 > 0:31:40Once Geoffrey has had his Christmas Eve walk, he's a new man.

0:31:40 > 0:31:43What would you say to a spirit, Lee?

0:31:43 > 0:31:44"Please don't kill me."

0:31:45 > 0:31:48I wouldn't bother taking your coats off. We are not staying.

0:31:48 > 0:31:50Why? What's happened?

0:31:50 > 0:31:52I saw the ghost of the child.

0:31:52 > 0:31:54- Oh, my God! - Oh, for pity's sake.

0:31:54 > 0:31:57- It was in the '70s. - I thought you said it was a child.

0:31:57 > 0:31:59The 1970s.

0:32:01 > 0:32:03- It was my old mate Ralph. - What are you talking about?

0:32:03 > 0:32:06- Well, you know friends aren't supposed to keep secrets?- Yeah.

0:32:06 > 0:32:10Yes, well, he'd inadvertently forgot to tell me something quite important.

0:32:10 > 0:32:12Like he'd been dead for the last seven decades.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14Well, it's an easy mistake to make.

0:32:14 > 0:32:18I once forgot to tell my best friend I'd snogged her brother.

0:32:18 > 0:32:22Anyway, he's back. And he's taken the presents.

0:32:22 > 0:32:26And what's worse is he's written a note on the wall threatening to kill me.

0:32:26 > 0:32:29Oh, my God! That's what my friend did, too!

0:32:29 > 0:32:31Well, on a park bench.

0:32:31 > 0:32:34Did the ghost call you a slag as well?

0:32:34 > 0:32:36Right! That's it, we're leaving right now!

0:32:36 > 0:32:38For God's sake, Lee!

0:32:38 > 0:32:42Are you going to be a coward for the rest of your life? Show some bloody backbone, man!

0:32:42 > 0:32:44You're right.

0:32:44 > 0:32:47Up yours, Geoffrey, we're bloody leaving!

0:32:48 > 0:32:52Well, I don't think we should leave either.

0:32:52 > 0:32:54A sensible voice at last.

0:32:54 > 0:32:56If there's one thing life has taught me,

0:32:56 > 0:32:58it's to always try and communicate with the dead.

0:33:01 > 0:33:02Well, that didn't last long.

0:33:04 > 0:33:08That way Lee can apologise for all the things that he's done.

0:33:08 > 0:33:09Well, how do we talk to a ghost?

0:33:09 > 0:33:12Three words - Ouija board.

0:33:22 > 0:33:26First we must all place our fingers on the glass.

0:33:28 > 0:33:29Which finger?

0:33:29 > 0:33:32Oh, I don't know. Er, middle finger?

0:33:32 > 0:33:34You can't give the middle finger to a ghost.

0:33:34 > 0:33:36He's already annoyed at us.

0:33:36 > 0:33:38Use your index finger.

0:33:41 > 0:33:45Next we must empty our minds of all thoughts.

0:33:45 > 0:33:47How come you always get a head start?

0:33:50 > 0:33:52Is anybody there?

0:33:55 > 0:33:57Is anybody there?

0:33:59 > 0:34:01- BRUSQUE:- Is anybody there?!

0:34:01 > 0:34:03This is a complete waste of time.

0:34:03 > 0:34:06Geoffrey's right. Maybe we should stop.

0:34:08 > 0:34:12- What happened?- Lee pushed it. - I did not, I swear.- Frank?

0:34:12 > 0:34:14He's never pushed a whisky glass away in his life.

0:34:17 > 0:34:22Ralph? Is that you, or someone else?

0:34:34 > 0:34:37Sorry, was that yes, it is you, or yes, it's someone else?

0:34:42 > 0:34:44No, it is someone else, or no, it isn't?

0:34:44 > 0:34:47Can someone else be Michael Parkinson, please?

0:34:47 > 0:34:50Lucy, you do it. Ask him what he wants.

0:34:50 > 0:34:52What do you want, Ralph?

0:35:04 > 0:35:07You want to know what happened to your dad?

0:35:11 > 0:35:13You already know what happened to your dad?

0:35:16 > 0:35:17Was it an accident?

0:35:22 > 0:35:23Was he killed?

0:35:26 > 0:35:28Who by?

0:35:38 > 0:35:39So now we know.

0:35:39 > 0:35:42His father died of ME.

0:35:54 > 0:35:59Ralph, do you mean to cause us harm?

0:36:05 > 0:36:06All of us?

0:36:10 > 0:36:11Then who?

0:36:20 > 0:36:22L. Not looking good for you, Lucy.

0:36:31 > 0:36:35Ask him if he's got a problem with the golfer Lee Trevino.

0:36:42 > 0:36:45C-U. What does that mean?

0:36:45 > 0:36:48C-U. Don't you get it? He's a kid.

0:36:48 > 0:36:50That's how they talk.

0:36:50 > 0:36:53SEE YOU.

0:36:53 > 0:36:58Oh, right. So now you're telling us the ghost of a Victorian orphan...

0:37:00 > 0:37:01..is texting us?

0:37:04 > 0:37:09- Oh, my God! - SHE SCREAMS

0:37:15 > 0:37:19What the hell's going on? Who are you?

0:37:19 > 0:37:21Don't you come any closer, young man.

0:37:21 > 0:37:23You don't frighten me.

0:37:23 > 0:37:25I was in the Third Battalion, the Welsh Guards.

0:37:30 > 0:37:33Oh, yeah, not so brave now, are we?!

0:37:33 > 0:37:35Go on, Dad, show him how it's done.

0:37:35 > 0:37:37DOOR SLAMS

0:37:39 > 0:37:41Ralph, can I just say,

0:37:41 > 0:37:45I would love the opportunity to buy you a nice new chair.

0:37:45 > 0:37:47DFS have got a lovely sale on at the moment.

0:37:49 > 0:37:53It's buy now, pay September, with further discounts on selected goods.

0:37:53 > 0:37:56There's a range of fabrics to choose from

0:37:56 > 0:37:58and I don't want to die!!

0:37:58 > 0:37:59Hello!

0:38:04 > 0:38:05Where's Frank?

0:38:05 > 0:38:07How do you know Frank?

0:38:07 > 0:38:09He invited us to spend Christmas with him.

0:38:10 > 0:38:13Us? Me and my nana.

0:38:13 > 0:38:15He said he'd ring when it was safe to come round,

0:38:15 > 0:38:18but it's getting late. We haven't heard from him yet.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29PENNY WHISTLE PLAYS

0:38:29 > 0:38:33FRANK: You must leave this place, now!

0:38:33 > 0:38:36PENNY WHISTLE PLAYS

0:38:36 > 0:38:38Just playing my favourite tune.

0:38:38 > 0:38:41- What's going on?- Hiya, Frank.

0:38:41 > 0:38:45Hiya, love. Everybody, this is Molly.

0:38:45 > 0:38:49She lives with her grandma, down at that place you bought those spuds.

0:38:49 > 0:38:51What? You mean the old biddy in the caravan?

0:38:51 > 0:38:54- You've met her before actually, Lee. She's called Carol.- Carol?

0:38:54 > 0:38:58You mean that bit of strumpet you were knocking off in the '70s?

0:38:58 > 0:39:00- Oi, that's my nan!- Sorry.

0:39:00 > 0:39:01Nana Strumpet.

0:39:02 > 0:39:04We've kept in touch over the years.

0:39:04 > 0:39:07I was hoping to rekindle a bit of the old romance.

0:39:07 > 0:39:09I mean, her exterior's a bit rusty

0:39:09 > 0:39:11but I bet her goods are as ripe as ever.

0:39:13 > 0:39:14I feel sick.

0:39:14 > 0:39:16You feel sick?

0:39:18 > 0:39:20It wasn't just carnal desire.

0:39:20 > 0:39:24I mean, I felt sorry for them stuck in that old caravan at Christmas,

0:39:24 > 0:39:26so I invited the two of them to stay here.

0:39:26 > 0:39:30And then you lot turned up, and I had to go for Plan B

0:39:30 > 0:39:32Oh, is he coming, as well?

0:39:34 > 0:39:37And when I heard you were all scared of ghosts,

0:39:37 > 0:39:41I sort of played up to it a bit, hoping it would make you leave.

0:39:41 > 0:39:45So that story that you told at breakfast was all a lie?

0:39:45 > 0:39:46Well, no, there was some truth to it.

0:39:46 > 0:39:51There was a boy, who lived here many, many years ago.

0:39:54 > 0:39:55Yeah?

0:39:55 > 0:39:56That's about it.

0:39:58 > 0:40:01What about the glass moving, the cellar door opening,

0:40:01 > 0:40:03the writing on the wall?

0:40:04 > 0:40:05That were all me.

0:40:07 > 0:40:10- I wish this was the end bit of Scooby Doo.- Why?

0:40:10 > 0:40:12Cos then I'd get to rip your face off.

0:40:14 > 0:40:19So, that kid Ralph in the '70s wasn't a ghost?

0:40:19 > 0:40:22Carol really did have a son?

0:40:22 > 0:40:24Yeah. He grew up to be the father of Molly.

0:40:24 > 0:40:29But he soon buggered off. Apparently he had psychological issues.

0:40:29 > 0:40:32When he were a kid someone locked him in a cellar

0:40:32 > 0:40:33and threw coal in his face.

0:40:36 > 0:40:38- Can I go and get Nana now? - I'm afraid not, Molly.

0:40:38 > 0:40:42We're going to have to spend Christmas in that cold caravan.

0:40:42 > 0:40:45I'll tell you what, because it's Christmas tomorrow,

0:40:45 > 0:40:50as a special treat for our dinner we'll have some beans with our potatoes.

0:40:50 > 0:40:51Hot beans?

0:40:51 > 0:40:53Don't be ridiculous.

0:40:57 > 0:40:59MUSIC: "Let It Snow" by Perry Como

0:41:01 > 0:41:03Lovely spread, ladies.

0:41:03 > 0:41:06Wendy and Carol have certainly made that turkey go a long way.

0:41:06 > 0:41:09On the other hand, no-one's seen that cat since yesterday.

0:41:09 > 0:41:11Molly's having fun.

0:41:12 > 0:41:14That was very nice of you to give her your present.

0:41:14 > 0:41:17It was very nice of you to give her yours.

0:41:18 > 0:41:20Who's the extra chair for, Lee?

0:41:20 > 0:41:23Well, I know we've finally proved there's no ghost,

0:41:23 > 0:41:25but I still felt bad about burning that boy's rocking chair.

0:41:25 > 0:41:27So I made a new one.

0:41:30 > 0:41:33Oh, that's sweet. Where did you get the wood?

0:41:33 > 0:41:36I chopped up an old crucifix I found hanging upside down in the attic.

0:41:38 > 0:41:40What?

0:41:50 > 0:41:51Do you know what?

0:41:51 > 0:41:55This hasn't been such a bad Christmas after all. Well done!

0:41:55 > 0:41:57Perhaps I deserve another Christmas present.

0:41:57 > 0:42:00- Like what? - Where's the mistletoe?

0:42:05 > 0:42:07I'll see you at the car.

0:42:10 > 0:42:14Well, it looks like this old place will be sold off very soon.

0:42:14 > 0:42:17Probably the last chance we'll get to see it.

0:42:17 > 0:42:19Bit of me will always be here.

0:42:19 > 0:42:21That chain still not flushing, then?

0:42:24 > 0:42:25One thing I don't get, Dad.

0:42:26 > 0:42:29I know all these ghostly goings on were you,

0:42:29 > 0:42:31but we were together almost all Christmas Eve.

0:42:31 > 0:42:33When did you get chance to build that snowman?

0:42:33 > 0:42:36I didn't, you daft bugger. It was Molly that built that.

0:42:36 > 0:42:38- Isn't that right Molly, love?- What?

0:42:38 > 0:42:40You built that scary snowman with the creepy face.

0:42:40 > 0:42:42I didn't build any snowman.

0:42:46 > 0:42:47Well then, who did?

0:42:47 > 0:42:50WIND WHISTLES

0:42:50 > 0:42:52CHAIR CREAKS

0:43:01 > 0:43:06PENNY WHISTLE PLAYS SILENT NIGHT

0:43:23 > 0:43:25Merry Christmas.

0:43:27 > 0:43:30# Yeah, not going out

0:43:30 > 0:43:31# Not staying in

0:43:31 > 0:43:34# Just hanging around with my head in a spin

0:43:34 > 0:43:37# But there is no need to scream and shout

0:43:37 > 0:43:40# Yeah, not going out

0:43:40 > 0:43:44# We are not going out. #