0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Yeah not going out
0:00:04 > 0:00:06# Not staying in
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Just hanging around With my head in a spin
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# But there is no need To scream and shout
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# Yeah, not going out
0:00:15 > 0:00:19# We are not going out. #
0:00:24 > 0:00:26We've just popped round to borrow that sleeping bag, Lucy.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30- It's in the hallway. - I don't know why we can't snuggle up in one?
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Daisy, we can't share one sleeping bag.
0:00:33 > 0:00:34We could go top to tail.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36LAUGHTER
0:00:36 > 0:00:38We're going camping this weekend.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41- I hate camping. - Course you do, it's for real men.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Men who like pitting their wits against all nature has to offer,
0:00:44 > 0:00:47knowing that one mistake or one bad decision could mean life or death.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Where are you going?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Buttercup Family Campsite.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53LAUGHTER
0:00:53 > 0:00:54I'll get that sleeping bag.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Oh, why don't you two join us this weekend?
0:01:00 > 0:01:03You're joking, right? Lee couldn't cope with camping.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Why couldn't I?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Well come on, Tim's right, you're not exactly a man's man, are you?
0:01:08 > 0:01:10You what? I grew up on a council estate.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14That is your answer to everything. "Why haven't you got me a Christmas present, Lee?"
0:01:14 > 0:01:17- MIMICKING LEE: - "I grew up on a council estate."
0:01:17 > 0:01:19'Why don't you shower every day, Lee?"
0:01:19 > 0:01:21- MIMICKING LEE: - "I grew up on a council estate."
0:01:21 > 0:01:23"What's the capital of Bulgaria, Lee?"
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- MIMICKING LEE: - "I grew up on a council estate."
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Yeah, well, if there's one thing they taught me, it's "stick to your story".
0:01:29 > 0:01:31- Who did?- Everyone. I grew up on a council estate.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33LAUGHTER
0:01:33 > 0:01:38- Anyway, I'd last a lot longer camping than someone like you. - What do you mean, "someone like me?"
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Yeah, racist.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41LAUGHTER
0:01:41 > 0:01:45You wouldn't last five minutes away from your work desk with all your gadgets.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47You'd never adapt to living in the great outdoors.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50I'd adapt a lot better than you did to living indoors.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52LAUGHTER
0:01:52 > 0:01:54All right. Let's both go camping.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Fine. Let's do it.
0:01:56 > 0:02:01OK. But no technology allowed. No laptops, no gizmos, no nothing.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02Suits me.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05I mean it. No gadgets whatsoever. It's back to nature.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Ooh, get Bear Grylls!
0:02:07 > 0:02:09No, they're definitely not allowed.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14A bear grill would be massive.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15LAUGHTER
0:02:24 > 0:02:26I thought you hated camping?
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Well, I've changed my mind.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30I've decided I love a bit of Mother Nature.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33In fact, she's on my MILF list.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Yeah, well, I have a bit of a problem with Mother Nature.
0:02:35 > 0:02:41She doesn't have flushing toilets, she smells of poo and she's covered in bugs.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43You should have met Lee's mother.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I love the great outdoors.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50I learnt all about it when I was in a gang. We were pretty tough lads.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56Exploring. Starting fires. Helping old people.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00Tim, the Cubs isn't a gang.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02So, where exactly are you two going to be sleeping?
0:03:05 > 0:03:06I've brought a tent.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09What about you, Lucy?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Well... Lee said I could sleep in his.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13- Stop the car!- You're driving.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Oh yeah.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19You can't share a tent with someone of the opposite sex unless you're a couple.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Oh yeah, I forgot about the Tent Cohabitation Act 1908.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27It's not acceptable behaviour. Would you share a hotel room together?
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- Well, I'm up for it if you... - I wasn't suggesting it!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34LAUGHTER
0:03:34 > 0:03:41I've got a spare tent for you, Lucy. And there's only room for one, it's a one-man tent.
0:03:41 > 0:03:46Very sexist isn't it, camping? One "man" tent. "Guy" rope...
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Carry On Camping.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Pass me the sat nav.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58It's not there.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Oh yeah, I took your sat nav out and left it at home.
0:04:01 > 0:04:02Oh, brilliant!
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Well, don't get in a Timmy Tiz with me.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Lee said the rules were no gadgets allowed.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Oh, did he?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I didn't mean sat navs, I meant office stuff.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15So what's the plan, Mr No Gadgets Allowed?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18We're going to use a map, Mrs... Tits.
0:04:18 > 0:04:24I'll get us to that campsite and have the barbecue set up before you can say, "sat navs are for losers."
0:04:24 > 0:04:26I'm sure it was that last turning.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28LAUGHTER
0:04:28 > 0:04:29Give me that map.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Get off! Women aren't as good at map reading.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34What?
0:04:34 > 0:04:38It's not sexist, it's a scientific fact. It's something to do with spatial awareness.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48I'm surprised that caught you unaware then. It's like you've got "spacial" needs.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53Well thanks to Lee we're not going to find this campsite tonight, are we?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Oh great. Now what?
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Will you stop panicking? We are surrounded by countryside, we can camp anywhere.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01No, we can't.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04You have to be a minimum 100 metres away from an A or B road,
0:05:04 > 0:05:08not on privately-owned farmland or recognised archaeological sites.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11The Camping Code of Conduct isn't written just for fun, you know.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Oh, that's just an added bonus, is it?
0:05:14 > 0:05:16All right, we'll go off the beaten track then.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20Here we go. "Grinchly Woods". That'll be nice.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21How do you know?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23I dunno. Because I've heard of it before.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26So? You've heard of eczema.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Isn't that a National Park?
0:05:28 > 0:05:29LAUGHTER
0:05:41 > 0:05:45OWL HOOTS
0:05:45 > 0:05:50Are you sure about this? Those woods look a bit spooky.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54What's the problem? It's just a load of trees. Trees don't hurt you.
0:05:54 > 0:06:00It was the last thing he said, officer, then we heard "Timber!"
0:06:00 > 0:06:06Maybe it was the scene of a horrific murder where the killer brutally dismembered his victims
0:06:06 > 0:06:10and the story wedged a place in the dark recesses of your mind.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Or maybe you've seen it on Countryfile.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21Well, if we'd have been allowed to bring some technology I could have Googled it.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Then again, if we'd been allowed to bring guns, I could have shot myself!
0:06:25 > 0:06:27NOISE OUTSIDE
0:06:27 > 0:06:28What was that?
0:06:28 > 0:06:31It was just the sound of a twig breaking.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Yeah? But what stood on it to make it break?
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Maybe it was the sound of a neck being broken.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42No, Daisy, that's a completely different sound. Allow me to demonstrate.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Right, we're finding somewhere a little bit less... Scooby Doo.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51(RAPPING) Yeah, to manage this dramaticness I call my rep every step,
0:06:51 > 0:06:53stay on deck, keeping bustaz in check.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Certified murder guide, through the streets of death.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01LAUGHTER
0:07:01 > 0:07:07Oh sorry... no. Scooby Doo! I was getting mixed up. I thought you meant Snoop Doggy Dog.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12LOUD ENGINE NOISE
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- What's that?- It sounds awful.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Yeah, like the scream of a man having his throat slit.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18ALL: Shut up!
0:07:18 > 0:07:20LOUD WHIRRING NOISE
0:07:20 > 0:07:22It's the fan belt slipping.
0:07:22 > 0:07:23SILENCE
0:07:23 > 0:07:25And then snapping.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30Look, just get us out of this place and in the morning, we'll find a mechanic who can sort it out.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34- OK.- Er, excuse me! We don't need to find anyone.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38I think you'll find you've got a real man here with you in the car.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Take your tights off.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45I'm trying to work out what's worse. Saying it to my girlfriend or saying it to my sister.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Actually, I was saying it to you.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50LAUGHTER
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Come on, Lucy, you've got tights on under those jeans.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Take them off we'll use them as a temporary fan belt.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56How do you know that?
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Every bloke in the world knows that.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01I mean how do you know my sister wears tights under her jeans?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Every bloke in the world knows that.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09I saw you putting them on in your bedroom this morning.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13I couldn't help it, the door was open and the mirror was at a funny angle.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16By the time you'd taken them out of the suitcase on the top of your cupboard,
0:08:16 > 0:08:20undone the packaging and slipped them on, it was too late to avert my gaze.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- It's a good idea. It helps your circulation. - Thank you. Oh, her.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Forget it. I'm not letting you mess with my car.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31We'll do what Lucy says and let an expert look in the morning.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Fine. But if you drive off now, you'll be invalidating your extended warranty.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37SCREECHES TO A HALT
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Right, Lucy. Get 'em off.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Whilst you're doing that, I'll go and check out the damage.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44There's a torch in the glove box.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47No, there isn't. I took that out as well.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49LAUGHTER
0:08:49 > 0:08:52You said no electronic gadgets.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54It's got to be a wind up.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Exactly, this one was battery operated!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Don't worry, I'll improvise.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04Are you sure you know what you're doing?
0:09:04 > 0:09:09Of course I know what I'm doing. I know loads about cars, can we just pop the hood, please?
0:09:25 > 0:09:31"We should find a mechanic, he'll sort it out". No, Lucy, I'll sort it out.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Because believe it or not, I am actually a bloke.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37I wish people would stop treating me like an idiot.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40OK. Rev it!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42ENGINE REVS
0:09:42 > 0:09:45I can't believe I'm letting Lee fix my car.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Look, cut him some slack. He's just trying to prove himself the alpha male.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Who knows? He might surprise you.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
0:10:03 > 0:10:07HE CONTINUES TO SCREAM
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Well, at least you kept your promise of a barbecue.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19By the way, Daisy, if this sort of thing ever happens again,
0:10:19 > 0:10:23the correct procedure is to roll someone on the ground or cover them with a blanket.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Not just blow really hard.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28LAUGHTER
0:10:28 > 0:10:29TRIES ENGINE
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Well, the car's not going anywhere.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35Looks like we're going to have to sleep in the woods after all.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Well, we could sleep in the car, I suppose. It's certainly warmer.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Well, it is now!
0:10:43 > 0:10:48Have you lot gone soft? We're supposed to be on a camping trip. Where's your sense of adventure?
0:10:48 > 0:10:53Actually sleeping in the car might be a bad idea. We might get deep vein thrombosis?
0:10:53 > 0:10:54What's that?
0:10:54 > 0:10:57It's a clotting in the arteries after sitting for too long.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Is that the same as Jet Set Willy?
0:11:00 > 0:11:03You're right, I can't spend all night in this car.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07Great. We'll find a nice secluded spot, set up camp and sort all this out in the morning.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10What was that?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12What?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14I'm sure I just saw somebody near those trees.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16It's probably just an animal or something.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18What kind of animal?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22I dunno. What animal roams around in the woods at night?
0:11:22 > 0:11:23A chicken?
0:11:24 > 0:11:25LAUGHTER
0:11:25 > 0:11:28You don't get man-sized chickens.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30You get family-sized chickens.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I'm telling you I just saw a man.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Maybe it was a man dressed as a chicken.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41I'm not sleeping on my own in those woods.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Well, if you're nervous, you can always share my tent.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Don't raise your eyebrows at me.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48At least I've still got some.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Good job I didn't say "keep your hair on."
0:11:53 > 0:11:57You'll be fine in your own tent, Lucy, there was nothing there.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Well, go out in the woods and check then.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Lee can go. I think I might stay here and prepare the marshmallows for toasting.
0:12:08 > 0:12:13Do you do any other impressions? Or is it just Bruce Willis in Die Hard 2?
0:12:13 > 0:12:18Go on then... I thought you said earlier we had a real man in the car. You're not scared, are you?
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Course I'm not. I grew up on a council estate.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33If it's a bear, punch him on the nose.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37That's sharks.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Oh yeah.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Only punch him on the nose if it's a shark.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Or a man dressed as a shark.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58RUSTLING
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Oh, it's you deer.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15What do you call a deer with no eyes?
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Correctly spelt.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Tough crowd.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28EERIE MUSIC
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Ow!
0:14:11 > 0:14:13What the hell are you doing?
0:14:13 > 0:14:18I come out here to check you're OK and that's how you thank me? You're not up north now, Lee.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Down here we still communicate with speech.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Oh, very funny. Take that off your face now, Lee.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31I'm not joking.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33I've just about had enough of you today, Lee.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35If you don't take that off now,
0:14:35 > 0:14:37I'll come over there and take it off for you.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47"Or you could just keep it on.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50It really suits you actually.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Oi! Over here!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58That's it. Come on."
0:14:58 > 0:15:01I've got some photos of Charlie Cairoli's wife in my pocket.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04No, over here!
0:15:04 > 0:15:07That's it. No funny business.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Actually, change of plan. Go back the other way.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Oi!
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Oi!- Oi!
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Oi!
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Come on, Lee. It's your go.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25Lee?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27HE WHIMPERS
0:15:29 > 0:15:33He-e-elp!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Lock your doors!- Why? - Just lock them!
0:15:42 > 0:15:45It wasn't a chicken, was it?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47It was a man.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Well, at least I think it was. He was wearing a mask.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52What, you mean it was a chicken dressed as a man?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56What do you mean, a mask?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58A clown mask.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Was he standing on the back of a zebra?
0:16:04 > 0:16:05No.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Well, the last one I saw was.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11And when he fell off, everyone just laughed.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13But I cried, especially when the ambulance
0:16:13 > 0:16:15that picked him up fell apart.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- What was he doing? - Throwing eggs at people.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25The clown in the woods!
0:16:25 > 0:16:26Don't know, we ran off.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Oh, God! Do you think he's a psychopath?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Of course he's not.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Yeah, perhaps he's lost.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Maybe he was shot out of a cannon.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Well, whoever he is, he's out there.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50THUNDERCLAP
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- We've got to get out of here! - How can we?
0:16:52 > 0:16:56We're in the middle of nowhere and the car's not working.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I saw a film recently called Roadkill.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02Loads of college kids break down in the desert in their campervan.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06They all decided to leave the vehicle. Do you know what happened?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08One by one, they were picked off and eaten
0:17:08 > 0:17:10by a family of inbred cannibals!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Well, thanks for that(!)
0:17:12 > 0:17:17I'm thinking of having a nightmare later, but I'm running out of ideas. I'll try and work that in(!)
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Oh, God! It's always the pretty boys they get first!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25I saw a film about people that broke down in a car
0:17:25 > 0:17:29and they stayed exactly where they where and didn't get killed.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32In fact, it was the car that led them to safety.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34What film was that?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Herbie Goes Bananas.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Look, we're staying put, keeping the doors locked
0:17:40 > 0:17:42and we'll find help in the morning.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45We'll take it in turns to keep lookout.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47And who put you in charge? If it wasn't for your stupid
0:17:47 > 0:17:50no gadgets allowed policy, the police would have been here by now!
0:17:50 > 0:17:55I hope you're not blaming me for this. It's not me that shouted at Coco the Bloody Psychopath!
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- I thought you said he wasn't a psychopath!- He wasn't at first,
0:17:58 > 0:18:01but Tim has a way of bringing out the worst in people.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Could be worse. We could be in Milton Keynes.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- What?- You said Milton Keynes was full of psychopaths.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Cycle paths!
0:18:20 > 0:18:22WOLF HOWLING
0:18:26 > 0:18:28THUNDER RUMBLING
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Tim?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Tim, you awake?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36HE SNORES
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Thank you, Lord Sugar.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Please, call me Margaret.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51HE BLOWS
0:18:54 > 0:18:57HE BLOWS AGAIN
0:18:57 > 0:19:01I know you're used to inflating the women in your life,
0:19:01 > 0:19:04but please don't do it to me.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Do you think he's gone?
0:19:07 > 0:19:09I hope so.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12But if he hasn't, don't worry. I'll look after you.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Like I say, when we do find a proper campsite,
0:19:16 > 0:19:19if you're still nervous you can always sleep in my tent.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21She'll be fine.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- I thought you were asleep. - You were hoping I was asleep.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30No, I was hoping you were in a coma.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33I thought it was really brave to go out there on your own.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35It was nothing.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Going in to those woods was just natural instinct.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41It's the one advantage of being brought up by a family of gibbons.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Sometimes in life, you've got to forget your own safety
0:19:46 > 0:19:49and just protect those around you.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59If you're looking for the pretty boy, he's sat in the front.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04Lucy, you know when there's a fire and you're supposed to say,
0:20:04 > 0:20:06"Mr Sands is in the building." So nobody panics?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Yeah?
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Well, Mr Chuckles has just popped up to say hello.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Oh, you and your disgusting euphemisms!
0:20:16 > 0:20:20If you don't stop trying it on with my sis...
0:20:20 > 0:20:23THEY SCREAM
0:20:26 > 0:20:28SHE SCREAMS
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Sorry, I was dreaming I was in Australia.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34There must have been a bit of a delay.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39He's gone.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Are you sure?
0:20:41 > 0:20:42I think so.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46SHE SCREAMS
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Oh, my God, there's two of them!
0:20:50 > 0:20:54What do you want, you red-nosed, grinning, bald-headed bastard?!
0:20:56 > 0:20:58I think we should calm down.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59They're clowns.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02They're probably just after the tents.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10It's not just a couple of clowns, I'm afraid.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16- What the hell's going on? - I don't know,
0:21:16 > 0:21:20but something tells me we're in big trouble.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Oh, thank God, it's Batman!
0:21:25 > 0:21:29- They're coming! - Oh my God, they're going to kill us!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Quick, in the glove box.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32We'll never fit in there!
0:21:34 > 0:21:35There's a camping knife!
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Oh.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Please tell me you didn't leave that at home?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Well, it is a gadget.- No, it isn't!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Well, Inspector Gadget had one in his thumb.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Look, Daisy, I love you to bits,
0:21:48 > 0:21:52but it has to be said sometimes you are an absolute idiot.
0:21:52 > 0:21:57Oh yeah? And what were you going to do with a knife, posh nuts? Offer to slice their cheese
0:21:57 > 0:22:00or use take the foil off their bloody Chardonnay?!
0:22:07 > 0:22:09MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Oh, hi, Mum.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22Yeah, having a lovely time, thanks.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Well, the weather's not great
0:22:24 > 0:22:27and Tim's car broke down.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Oh yeah, and the car's been surrounded by loads of nutters.
0:22:31 > 0:22:36It's not too bad, they've gone for a light-hearted theme.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Hello?
0:22:38 > 0:22:39Hello?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Oh, I lost signal.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46What?
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Have you had that all this time?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Oh, I see! Sorry.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56I suppose it is a sort of gadget, isn't it?
0:22:56 > 0:23:01I'll turn it off.
0:23:01 > 0:23:02It's no good, the reception's gone.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06Someone's going to have to get out of the car, try to get a signal,
0:23:06 > 0:23:07then phone the police.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- I'll go.- No, you can't go.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12If anything happened, I'd never forgive myself.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Especially after my outburst. You mean the world to me.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Lee, you go.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Come on. You keep telling us what a big man you are.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Now's your chance to prove it.
0:23:31 > 0:23:36Unlock the door. It's time for Batman to meet The Joker.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39- BANG - Oof!
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Could you take off the child locks, please, Timothy?
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Tell the police to get here as quick as they can.
0:23:58 > 0:24:03Thanks for that, I was going to ask them to take the scenic route(!)
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Listen, If anything happens, you know,
0:24:05 > 0:24:08if they come back and start attacking me,
0:24:08 > 0:24:10do you promise you'll get out of the car and...
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Good luck!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Oi! I've just had this Turtle-Waxed!
0:24:34 > 0:24:35Yes!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45OWL SCREECHING
0:24:48 > 0:24:50MOBILE PHONE RINGING
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Hello?
0:25:02 > 0:25:05You must be Daisy's Mum.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07No, she's a bit busy at the moment.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11All right, I'll let her know.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Yeah, she loves that one, doesn't she?
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Bye.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- Daisy?- Yeah?
0:25:20 > 0:25:25Herbie Rides Again's on at half ten tomorrow night on ITV4.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Oh, brilliant! Thank you!
0:25:32 > 0:25:33Hello.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Lee, do something!
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Lucy, there's something you should know about me.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Something I've never told anyone before.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46What is it?
0:25:46 > 0:25:49I never really grew up on a council estate.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Argh!
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Come on then, Ronald McDonald!
0:25:56 > 0:26:00I'll have a Happy Meal with fries, you great big ginger-haired freak!
0:26:00 > 0:26:05Do you want some?! I'll rip your bloody face off!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Is that another mask?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09What the hell are you doing, you lunatic?
0:26:09 > 0:26:10What's going on?
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Well, we were going to ask you lot the same question.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15What?
0:26:15 > 0:26:17When are you lot going to start dogging?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22What do you mean, dogging?
0:26:22 > 0:26:26- It's when people watch other people in cars...- I know what it means!
0:26:26 > 0:26:27I don't.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31SHE WHISPERS
0:26:31 > 0:26:33What with actual dogs?!
0:26:35 > 0:26:39We saw the young lady taking her stockings off in the car
0:26:39 > 0:26:41and you have been parked here all night
0:26:41 > 0:26:44on a very well-known dogging site.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Well, for those in the know anyway.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50Oh, yeah! Grinchly Woods. That's why I've heard of it.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56It was a documentary on TV.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Part of Channel 4's Dogging Night.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12God, that was weird last night, wasn't it?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Who would have thought all those superheroes were doggers?
0:27:15 > 0:27:20Yeah. Good job Catwoman wasn't there. They'd have torn her apart.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Anyway, well done. I thought you were very brave.
0:27:24 > 0:27:29Well, just cos a man's in his 70s, you don't let him intimidate you.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31I take it back, you are a sort of...man.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35- Now you sound like my dad.- Why?
0:27:35 > 0:27:36He used to say that to my mum.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Do you know, I could get quite used to this camping malarkey.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Maybe we should make it a regular thing.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Sure, as long as we can always come to this camp site.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50The facilities are great. Goodnight.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Goodnight.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd