0:00:02 > 0:00:06# We're not going out, not staying in
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Just hanging around with my head in a spin
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# But there is no need to scream and shout
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# We're not going out
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# We are not going out. #
0:00:22 > 0:00:24You heard from Tim recently?
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Yeah, his work placement's going really well.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29He thinks he might not be back for a couple of months.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31I can't imagine Tim in Germany.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33With his blonde hair and ultra-conservative views.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35He'd be better off in...
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Actually, no, Germany's about right, innit?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- You got a date?- I wish.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42It's dinner with a potential client.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45- Where are you going? - The client's house.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48They want to get to know me informally, out of work.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Well, bring them here. I'm very informal.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51And out of work.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56Why do you never bring your clients round here for dinner? I don't bite.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57Exactly. You just sort of
0:00:57 > 0:01:00mash the food around in your mouth like a cow.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03This client's far too important to risk meeting you.
0:01:03 > 0:01:04None taken.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07The conversation would go over your head anyway.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Some taken.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Where's that spare change I left on the table?
0:01:11 > 0:01:12All taken.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16You're really nervous, aren't you?
0:01:16 > 0:01:20This is a big deal, Lee. I really need this contract.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22You'll be fine. And if all else fails, you've always got my gag
0:01:22 > 0:01:25about showing him the elephant with the white ears.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- Oh, no, that doesn't really work if you're a...- Bye!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Well, thanks for coming round, Lucy.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42That's OK, Paul. It was a pleasure.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Look, I'm really sorry I told that tasteless joke
0:01:45 > 0:01:47in front of your little daughter, I don't know what I was thinking.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50It's fine. I mean, to be honest, I didn't even get it.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52I mean I got the "my dog's got no nose" bit,
0:01:52 > 0:01:55but you lost me with the pockets for ears?
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Sorry.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00All the other pitches have been far too formal.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03It's nice to have someone with a sense of humour finally.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05I'm going to courier over those contracts tomorrow.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09And if everything's in order, I think we can green light this.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12I like green lights. Better than red ones.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Unless you're a prostitute, which I'm not.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Safe journey home.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Oh, and make sure to close the gate on your way out.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Button has a habit of trying to escape.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26I thought your wife was called Karen. Ha.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27Boo! Get off!
0:02:29 > 0:02:32No, Button is my daughter's rabbit.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34It's got a little pink button nose.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36If he's got white ears I could do an impression of him.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38You know, the pink nose is... Too much.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41See you.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46You beauty! Well done, Lucy Adams!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48That was excellent!
0:02:48 > 0:02:52You would have to do something pretty drastic to screw this up now.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54THUD
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Yes, that would be something.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02TELEPHONE RINGS
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Hello?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I've just killed a rabbit.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09Whoa, whoa, slow down.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12First, tell me what you're wearing.
0:03:12 > 0:03:17I've just killed my new client's pet rabbit. With the car.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18What, you ran it over?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20No, Lee, I locked it inside
0:03:20 > 0:03:24and connected the hose pipe from the exhaust(!) Yes, I ran it over!
0:03:24 > 0:03:25So why are you telling me?
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Because I need help. I don't know what I should do next.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31I don't know - what other pets has he got?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35I think I'm about to have a panic attack.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38'Look, just calm down.'
0:03:38 > 0:03:41First things first, are you sure it's dead?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Well, it's very still.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49It looks like someone's paused Watership Down.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Actually...
0:03:53 > 0:03:55SHE SIGHS
0:03:55 > 0:03:57..it is slightly twitching.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01- 'You've got to make sure it's not suffering.'- Oh, God!
0:04:01 > 0:04:04You're going to have to whack it with something really heavy.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05I've got a torch.
0:04:05 > 0:04:11- Well, there you go. Hopefully it's got Duracell batteries inside.- Why?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13It's what the bunny would have wanted.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21I'm a murderer!
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Nice to meet you.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28I'm a victim. Come in.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Look, you did the right thing.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34I don't mean mowing down a defenceless animal with your car,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37obviously, that wasn't the right thing. That was the wrong thing.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39But smashing its head in to make sure it was dead,
0:04:39 > 0:04:40that was the right thing.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43I think.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Isn't there someone stood on a window ledge you should be talking to?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49TELEPHONE RINGS
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- SHE GASPS - Oh, my God. It's him!
0:04:53 > 0:04:54The rabbit?!
0:04:55 > 0:04:58The client. He must have worked out what happened.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Well, didn't you go back and tell him?- No. I just drove off.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03You didn't say tell him!
0:05:03 > 0:05:06I didn't say do a hit-and-run either.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08I didn't do a hit-and-run. I stopped.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10All right, a stop-and-bop.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13You should have told him, Lucy.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Look, just answer it and be calm.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:- Hi, Paul!
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Yes, I got home fine, thanks.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Um... No, I didn't see anything.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Oh, that's a shame.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Yeah.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34OK, then, bye.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37How was that?
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Well, he might not have you down as a rabbit killer, but he might think you're a helium addict.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45He asked if I saw his rabbit on the way out.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47He didn't accuse me of anything.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48- Good.- No, it's not good, is it?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I'm not just a killer, now I'm a liar.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53You're not a liar. You didn't see his rabbit on the way out.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55That's why you drove over its head.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Look, just forget about it, he'll think it's just gone missing,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01he won't know it's dead and buried.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02It's not buried.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Well, how did you get rid of it?
0:06:05 > 0:06:08I didn't. It's in the boot of my car.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Are you planning on making a stew?
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Why did you put it in your boot?
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Well, it would have looked conspicuous sat next to me,
0:06:17 > 0:06:20plus I didn't have a booster seat.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22I mean, why did you bring it home?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Well I couldn't get rid of it. It was too dark.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Yeah, and we all know the best time to get rid of a corpse
0:06:27 > 0:06:28is in broad daylight.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Let's wait till the morning, we'll go down to the Westgate Centre
0:06:31 > 0:06:34and nail it to the wall of the bathroom department in Debenhams.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- KNOCKING ON DOOR - Oh, my God, it's the police!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39What kind of policemen are dealing with dead rabbits?
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Cagney and Flopsy?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Actually Starsky and Hutch would have been funnier.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45You're right, not now.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50I've been to a netball tournament.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Catch!
0:06:52 > 0:06:53GLASS SMASHES
0:06:56 > 0:06:58At least we know what the C stands for.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00- Crap.- Rude.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Could have been ruder.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09All right, I said I'm sorry. It's not like I killed anyone.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10Daisy knows! She can see it.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12It's all over my face, isn't it?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14What? Are you telling me you ate it now?
0:07:15 > 0:07:16What's happened?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18I hit a rabbit.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19Why, what did it do to you?
0:07:21 > 0:07:22In my car.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24What was it doing in your car?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27It wasn't in my car, I was.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29And then I hit it and then I got out and hit it again,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32with a torch, and now it is in my car.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Dead.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Wow, this must have been a really naughty rabbit.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41She accidentally ran over a rabbit and now it's in her boot.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- Oh.- She's worried that the owner will trace it back here.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Oh, yes. Yes. The rabbit might have been chipped.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50It wasn't chipped, it was mashed.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Oh, my God, I hadn't thought of that.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Oh, this is awful, I'm just going to have to go back to Paul
0:07:57 > 0:07:58and tell him the truth.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00He'll cancel the contract, but I haven't got any choice.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Unless someone else did it for me.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07What do you mean?
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Someone else could take the blame.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Say that Button had somehow sneaked out of the garden,
0:08:11 > 0:08:13and they accidentally ran over it.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16But who would confess to killing a rabbit?
0:08:16 > 0:08:17A Catholic fox?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20- No chance.- Oh, please, Lee.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23It would be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27Look at me - I'm desperate, I don't know what else to do, Lee.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Oh, not the tears!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31First you kill a rabbit and now this, you heartless bitch.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Oh, Daisy, can you get the rabbit out of the boot? I can't look.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Well, you don't need to look. You could do it by feel.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47It'll be the furry, wet, squishy thing.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Oh, thank you so much, Lee!
0:08:52 > 0:08:56If you ever want me to take the blame for anything you did, just ask.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57It's funny you should say that.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00I think you should know that earlier this evening,
0:09:00 > 0:09:03you accidentally dropped your new iPad in the bath.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Did I? Well that was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it?
0:09:07 > 0:09:09I can't believe I was even having a bath.
0:09:09 > 0:09:10It's not even my birthday.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14Don't be too hard on yourself.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16You were only holding it in one hand.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Why, what was I doing with the other...?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Oh, yeah.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31I don't think I've been properly following all of this, have I?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Don't worry about it Daisy, it's all sorted.
0:09:34 > 0:09:39Yes, I know, but if Lee's taken your client's dead rabbit back to his house...
0:09:39 > 0:09:43- Yes?- Then whose is this dead rabbit jammed under your wheel arch?
0:09:44 > 0:09:48Oh, my God. That must be the rabbit I hit.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51THAT'S Button. I thought that other one was a bit wild-looking.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54So would you be if you'd just been clubbed to death with a torch.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Oh, no...
0:09:58 > 0:10:00The wild one must have just been asleep.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06You know that phrase - "like a rabbit in the headlights"?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08See, I've always wondered what that would look like.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11I assumed it would look like that, what you're doing.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14When actually it's more like that. Kind of...
0:10:17 > 0:10:19I killed an innocent rabbit.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21No, you haven't.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24You've killed TWO innocent rabbits.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- Still, you did the right thing.- How?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Well, now there are no witnesses, are there?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32God, we've got to find Lee before he hands over the wrong corpse.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35We'll have to drive after him. OK. Keys!
0:10:41 > 0:10:42I'm much better in defence.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48DOORBELL RINGS
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Anyone order a take away?
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Sorry. I'm like this when I'm nervous.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59Can I help you with something?
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Yeah. I've got something to tell you. About your rabbit.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Oh, right. Our rabbit's disappeared, actually.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Well. Not for much longer.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Ta-da!
0:11:11 > 0:11:14I will now make the rabbit re-appear.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16"You're going to like this. Not a lot".
0:11:19 > 0:11:20The thing is, a few hours ago
0:11:20 > 0:11:23I was doing a three-point turn in your driveway.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26And... I killed your rabbit.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- I see. - Sorry. It was a complete accident.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32There was no drink involved.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Certainly not on my part - I don't know about the rabbit.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38It certainly smelled of hops.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40It's the nerves again.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I'm rabbiting...rambling!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44So, you killed my rabbit?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- Yeah.- And you took the body away with you for three hours?
0:11:49 > 0:11:50I took it to A&E.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54They can't treat animals at hospitals.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57I wouldn't let Rolf Harris hear you say that.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- Well, I suppose I've got to appreciate your honesty. - I don't suppose there's a...?
0:12:03 > 0:12:04What?
0:12:04 > 0:12:08Well, it's just that when me dad used to go missing,
0:12:08 > 0:12:11I'd go out and find him, me mum would give me a little reward.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13A tenner, or something.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Yeah, but you didn't return your dad home dead, did you?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18That's true.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I wish I had, me mum would have given me 20.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Anyway, I'm sorry...
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Hey! Hey, what's this?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- It's your rabbit. - This isn't my rabbit.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32This is a wild thing.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35How do you know? Is it making your heart sing?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37What's going on?
0:12:37 > 0:12:42Nothing. I killed a rabbit, and assumed it was yours.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Why?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Because it was very close to your house
0:12:47 > 0:12:51and it looks like the kind of rabbit that would be called "Button".
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Which I appreciate you never actually told me
0:12:53 > 0:12:56was your daughter's rabbit's name.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Or that you had a daughter.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Right. What's your name?
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Warren.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Warren?
0:13:05 > 0:13:06Yeah.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Surname?
0:13:08 > 0:13:09Burrows.
0:13:11 > 0:13:12What's your address?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Number one...Rabbit Road.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19That's a made-up address.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21All right, number two.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Something's going on here. What have you done with Button?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- Nothing.- Tell me the truth, now.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Oh, fine! I admit it.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32I'm a notorious rabbit killer, who goes from hutch to hutch,
0:13:32 > 0:13:36strangling rabbits and cutting off their ears and...
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Hello.- Who are you?
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Father Christmas.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43No, he's not.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45All right, the Easter... No.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Sophie, you go back to bed,
0:13:47 > 0:13:49and we'll look for Button in the morning.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Oi!
0:13:53 > 0:13:54Well, that went well!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Lee?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04I'm sleeping! I'm only sleeping!
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Please don't beat me to death!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12It was an honest mistake.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Yeah. We've all done it.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Only last week I drove over one of those sleeping policeman,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18so I got out and murdered a Deputy Chief Constable.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21Anyway, thanks.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24He now thinks an unhinged lunatic did something to his rabbit,
0:14:24 > 0:14:26so I'm in the clear.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28In fact, here's your reward.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31What's this?
0:14:31 > 0:14:32The other dead rabbit.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Yeah. Very funny. Seriously, what is...?
0:14:34 > 0:14:36It's a dead rabbit! Christ's sake!
0:14:36 > 0:14:38What's the matter with you, bringing these things home?
0:14:38 > 0:14:41You're like a badly-trained house cat!
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Well, that's Button, the rabbit I hit.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44It was too late to bury it last night,
0:14:44 > 0:14:47so I was hoping you'd sort it out for me this morning.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Yeah, sure, no problems.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51And when you've come back from the Bugs Bunny convention with your machete, phone me.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I will sort out the mess.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54KNOCK ON DOOR
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Oh good, that'll be the courier with those contracts.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Paul!
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Hiya, Lucy. Sorry to barge in on you like this.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10My courier let me down at the last moment,
0:15:10 > 0:15:13so I thought I'd bring these over in person.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Oh, right, thanks.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Oh, God!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21You, um, haven't met my flatmate, Lee, have you?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23No, I don't think so.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27IN A FEMININE VOICE: No. No, we've never, never met.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Why has he got a pillowcase on his head?
0:15:29 > 0:15:34That is because he's in an amateur dramatics production of The Elephant Man.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I'm helping him with his lines.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39I am not an animal! I am a man!
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Well, I won't keep you,
0:15:42 > 0:15:44I just wanted to ask you about Button again.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46- HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: - Oh, yes - did she turn up?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- Not yet, no.- Oh, that's a shame.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51I don't suppose she's microchipped, is she?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Nobody microchips rabbits.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Oh, thank God!
0:15:57 > 0:16:02For making me this way, dear Lord.
0:16:02 > 0:16:07For if you had not, then I...
0:16:07 > 0:16:08I'm going to be sick.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12It's all very strange. I mean, shortly after we spoke,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14a man called Warren Burrows came to my door.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18He had a dead wild rabbit with him.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20I mean, you didn't see anyone after you left, did you?
0:16:20 > 0:16:24He was an extremely shifty, odd-looking bloke.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Why does no-body treat me like a human being?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31No, I didn't see anything.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Ah, it's just that the woman across the road said she saw
0:16:34 > 0:16:37a shadowy figure on my driveway beating something with a torch.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40She was probably mistaken, it was very dark.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- Well, it would have been, but the torch was switched on.- Switched on?!
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Yes, it does seem quite stupid.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Yeah, stupid!
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Very stupid!
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- I was thinking of going to the police.- Huh?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55You don't mind if I give them your details, do you?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58In case they want to ask you if you saw anyone as you were leaving.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Well, of course you can. But I think you're being too hasty.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02When I was little,
0:17:02 > 0:17:06- my rabbit was always running off and coming back by itself.- Really?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Yeah, he's probably in your garden somewhere, right under your nose.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Oh, imagine that(!)
0:17:12 > 0:17:14It's probably just lonely. Ours was.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16In the end we got it a guinea pig to keep it company
0:17:16 > 0:17:18and it never escaped again.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Well, maybe you're right, I'll wait a couple of days
0:17:20 > 0:17:21and see if she comes back.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24I'll leave you to your rehearsals. Nice to meet you...
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Elephant Man.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28You've all been most kind.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Oh, God, I feel ill.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36YOU feel ill! My throat tastes like Roger Rabbit's jock strap.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Why the hell did you leave the bloody torch switched on?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Oh, sorry, I screwed up.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45If only I was as quick-witted as my good friend, Warren Burrows.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47At least I put Paul off from going to the police.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51For a day or two. He'll still phone them when Button doesn't come home.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54- Button will come home.- How?
0:17:54 > 0:17:58By Sellotaping the salvageable bits to a very small method actor?
0:17:58 > 0:18:01No. By buying a replacement.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04One that looks exactly like Button.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05BEFORE I hit it.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- Any luck?- No.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20Well, there's one shop left on the list.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24If we can't find a match in there, we're just going to have buy any and dip it paint.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Spoken like a true animal lover.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27You can talk, Elmer Fudd.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29"Oh, I'm gonna bash your bwains out
0:18:29 > 0:18:32"and put you in the twunk of my car, you wascallly wabbit."
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Hello. I'd like to see to the manager, please.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49Can you say "Rabbit murderer! Rabbit murderer!?"
0:18:49 > 0:18:50What about this one?
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Perhaps your client would prefer a rubber one -
0:18:52 > 0:18:55they bounce off cars more easily.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Just start looking.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Excuse me, mate. I'm looking for a rabbit.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02But it has to be a specific kind.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Needs to be about that big, black with a sort of white mark
0:19:05 > 0:19:08round it's neck, white feet up to about...
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Look, just like that.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- Well?- I don't work here.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20There. Look, it's exactly like Button.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Black and white, white toes, everything.
0:19:24 > 0:19:25It's perfect.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Excuse me. Um, we want that black and white rabbit, please.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Sorry, love. That one's not for sale.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Not for sale? What are you, a zoo?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36I'm keeping that one back for breeding.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38That's disgusting.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41People like you shouldn't be allowed near animals.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45I'm joking. It's people like her that shouldn't be allowed near animals.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Look, I'll pay double.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Sorry, love.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50But we need it!
0:19:50 > 0:19:52My daughter's grandaddy has just died.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54She's really upset.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57And she saw that rabbit earlier and fell in love with it.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Don't cry.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02OK, fine.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Fine. You can have the rabbit.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Thank you so much.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07I'll go and get a box.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11What was that?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Just something I do to manipulate hopelessly weak men.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18It's how you got me to take the rabbit back to your client's house in the first place.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Was it?
0:20:20 > 0:20:21I'm sorry, OK. But I was desperate.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26- I really needed that contract and I didn't know what else to do, I just thought...- Well, don't do it again!
0:20:26 > 0:20:27Sorry.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Oh, God!
0:20:34 > 0:20:35We need to get out of here.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42See that, if you ever want to escape, it's that easy.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54What about this one, Daddy?
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Excuse me, I'm thinking of buying a guinea pig for my daughter.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Her rabbit's gone missing,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01and I understand they're pretty good company
0:21:01 > 0:21:03for when it - hopefully - returns.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06I ought to warn you, that one's a bit of a biter.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09But I love him, Daddy. Can I have him? Please?
0:21:09 > 0:21:11PET TOY SQUEAKS
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Well, if it isn't Warren Burrows.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Oh, hello.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21What are you doing here?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24I have to get a present for a mate's dog.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Try before you buy.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27TOY SQUEAKS
0:21:29 > 0:21:34You wouldn't be trying to buy a real rabbit by any chance, would you?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38- No.- Yes, you are.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40I've changed me mind.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42You were desperate for it a minute ago.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46I bet you were, you sick bastard. What's in the pillowcase?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- Nothing.- Show me.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51No. It's just my packed lunch.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53He's got a dead rabbit in there.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Your packed lunch? This is worse than I thought.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- Open it.- No.- Open it!
0:22:01 > 0:22:04PARROT: Rabbit murderer! Rabbit murderer!
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Now what?- We could send Daisy back to the pet shop.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Have you still got the receipt for her?
0:22:20 > 0:22:22There's three problems with that plan.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23One - the shop's now shut.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Two - it's bank holiday weekend, and three - it involves Daisy.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29There's only one thing for it.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32We have to break into that pet shop and steal that rabbit.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34That window looked quite flimsy.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37I reckon you could wrench it open with a duck's beak, or just smash it with a kitten.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Are you serious? If that rabbit suddenly goes missing, that pet shop
0:22:40 > 0:22:43owner's bound to connect it to the same loony from this afternoon.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Unless someone else gets the blame.
0:22:45 > 0:22:50- Who?- We also break in to the zoo, and release a wolf.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57The shopkeeper won't know there's a rabbit missing, will he?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59He'll still have the same number of rabbits.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03Except one of them will have passed away peacefully in its sleep.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07All right, passed away violently in its sleep.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Exactly. How does a rabbit in a pet shop end up looking like that?
0:23:10 > 0:23:13It'll be fine, we'll clean it up, no-one will notice.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Right. Let's do a burglary.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17One of us needs to buy a crowbar, the other two need to remove
0:23:17 > 0:23:20congealed blood from a dead animal's carcass.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- Where are you going? - To buy a crowbar.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33I can't believe we just committed a burglary.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Don't worry, where you're from, it's called learning a trade.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Anyway, so far so good.
0:23:40 > 0:23:41Let's not tempt fate.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Tempt fate? The way fate's been screwing with us the last couple of days,
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I don't think it needs tempting.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49In fact, I'd go as far as to say she's gagging for it.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52RUSTLING, SQUEAKING
0:23:52 > 0:23:54There's something in there.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Oh. It's that guinea pig they bought from the pet shop.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Ah, that's nice, he took my advice.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01That'll stop Button running away all the time.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05I'm don't think you're properly following this story, are you?
0:24:05 > 0:24:09Just put it in the hutch and let's get out of here
0:24:09 > 0:24:11GUINEA PIG WHISTLES AND SQUEAKS Ow!
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- Ow!- Shush!
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Do something!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17- Not that, you lunatic!- Then what?
0:24:17 > 0:24:21Buy nine more and then I'll have a pair of gloves!!
0:24:21 > 0:24:24- Ow!- Ow!
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Just go and get the bloody rabbit, I'll get the guinea pig.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Come on, little bunny rabbit. Come on.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Come back with me.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35I'll take you back where it's nice and warm.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Thanks again, Fate.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41I was right, you dirty little temptress,
0:24:41 > 0:24:43you really are gagging for it, aren't you?
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Is this the dirty little temptress you're looking for?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53- No.- I think it is.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55No, it's not.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56I'm after a rabbit.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Sophie, lock him in the hutch.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Don't even think about it, Princess.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Look, I wasn't trying to do anything to your guinea pig.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Just like I wasn't trying to do anything with your rabbit.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15In fact, believe it or not, your rabbit was here a minute ago,
0:25:15 > 0:25:17till it ran away.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Just like you keep running away from me?
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Well, not this time...
0:25:20 > 0:25:24Do you know hard it is to eat carrots when you've got no teeth?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26- I'm not scared.- Is that right?
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Yeah. I've got a blender.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34Daddy, look! It's Button! She's come back!
0:25:36 > 0:25:37I told you she was here.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41See, I'm not lying, I never took her, she must have just escaped.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Why are you in my garden in the middle of the night?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49I just wanted to find Button for you.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Why?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Because I felt guilty
0:25:53 > 0:25:56about giving your daughter a sack full of dead, wrong rabbit.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Come on, we've all been there.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06I think somebody owes me an apology.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13Well, I suppose I may have jumped to the wrong conclusion.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18Daddy? You know I was born a little girl.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Will I always be a girl?
0:26:21 > 0:26:22Of course you will, darling. Why?
0:26:22 > 0:26:23Because...
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Button's grown a willy.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Don't! Please!
0:26:30 > 0:26:32I lied, I haven't really got a blender!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Stop!
0:26:35 > 0:26:38I think I've got some explaining to do.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45So, um, now that's all cleared up and explained,
0:26:45 > 0:26:48I'll get those contracts back to you first thing in the morning.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50I don't think so, do you, Lucy?
0:26:50 > 0:26:54Well you know what they say, "You can't blame a girl for trying."
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Yeah, but they also say "You can blame a girl for running
0:26:56 > 0:26:59"over your daughter's pet rabbit, beating a second one to death,
0:26:59 > 0:27:04"kidnapping another and having an arsehole for a friend."
0:27:04 > 0:27:07To be honest with you, if you hadn't broken down in tears like that,
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I probably would have reported you to the police.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15But call me sentimental but I hate to see a grown man cry.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22You've been very understanding.
0:27:22 > 0:27:23Are you sure you don't want us
0:27:23 > 0:27:25to take that other rabbit back to the pet shop?
0:27:25 > 0:27:29No, Sophie seems quite attached to him, so we're going to keep him.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32But you go back to that pet shop as soon as it opens and you pay that man.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34For the rabbit and for the damaged window.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37And I will be checking.
0:27:37 > 0:27:38OK.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Can we please just go home and forget any of this ever happened?
0:27:50 > 0:27:52THUD AND SQUEAK
0:27:52 > 0:27:56SOPHIE SCREAMS
0:27:56 > 0:27:57I'll go and get the torch.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06# We're not going out, not staying in
0:28:06 > 0:28:09# Just hanging around with my head in a spin
0:28:09 > 0:28:12# But there is no need to scream and shout
0:28:12 > 0:28:16# We're not going out
0:28:16 > 0:28:18# We are not going out. #
0:28:18 > 0:28:21Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd