What the Day Brings

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0:00:01 > 0:00:03This programme contains strong language

0:00:03 > 0:00:07Previously on Nurse Jackie...

0:00:07 > 0:00:08You, you want to bounce?

0:00:09 > 0:00:11Ha-ha!

0:00:11 > 0:00:12Welcome back to All Saints.

0:00:12 > 0:00:15Yeah? Really?

0:00:15 > 0:00:19When I get nervous, I act out with inappropriate sexual touches. It's like Tourette's.

0:00:19 > 0:00:24- You need to promise me that we're not going to take that money. - OK. I promise.

0:00:24 > 0:00:26He finally agreed to let you set up a college fund for the girls.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31If I believed in crying at work, I would be tearing up, I'm thrilled!

0:00:31 > 0:00:35- Who's seen this?- Half of ortho. My follow-ups keep getting pushed.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38Well, fuck that, you need to see a specialist. My mistake.

0:00:38 > 0:00:42- I don't know whose MRI you saw, but it wasn't hers. - Yes, I understand that.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46- Listen, you are not helping him. He needs calm. Go!- I got it. Please.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52I'm so excited too.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55And yes, we will leave the second I get home, I promise.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Yeah, I... I am twice as excited as you are.

0:02:00 > 0:02:03OK. Have a good day at school, sweetie, and I'll see you later.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05I love you too.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08And Dr O'Hara says hi. OK. Bye-bye.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Jackie...- Yeah?

0:02:14 > 0:02:16I need to talk to you.

0:02:16 > 0:02:17OK, great. Erm, is later OK?

0:02:17 > 0:02:20I'm in the middle of about eight things right now...

0:02:20 > 0:02:23- It's important.- Can you give this to the guy in five?- Jackie!

0:02:23 > 0:02:25All right. OK, OK, OK, I promise.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36Hey, Zoey. Good to see ya. Thor.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Jackie.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40So great to have Eddie back.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Akalitus finally got something right - for a change.

0:02:43 > 0:02:47- Listen, Thor, I got to get out of here on time today. - Going some place fun tonight?

0:02:47 > 0:02:49Yes, tonight, tomorrow, maybe the next day.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Mmm, if you're running away, can I go too?

0:02:54 > 0:02:56CLEARS THROAT

0:02:56 > 0:02:58- Shall we go to my office? - Later, I promise.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Jackie, your MRI... - Like I need this shit.

0:03:01 > 0:03:02Right?

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Zoey, listen. Er, I need to get out of here early today.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Oh, OK. How early?- Like now early.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Oh, my God, you're asking me to cover for you? I've dreamt of this day.

0:03:18 > 0:03:19OK, go. Just go.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33Honey, hi. Erm, are the kids on the bus yet?

0:03:33 > 0:03:36Oh, great. Do me a favour, put them in the car and come and get me?

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Yeah, road trip starts right now.

0:03:39 > 0:03:44And do me a favour, explain to Grace about playing hooky, so she doesn't lose her shit.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46I know. I love you too. I can't wait.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48OK, bye.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13Da...!

0:04:14 > 0:04:17MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:04:35 > 0:04:38Sam called.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Yeah, I saw that.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43It's getting a little weird, huh?

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Why?

0:04:45 > 0:04:48Because I got to see the guy every day.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51And because you're his girlfriend.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54People need to expand their minds.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56And I need to break up with him.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Why? He's a nice guy.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01He's a nurse.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Yeah. Hmm.

0:05:06 > 0:05:07All right, we are up to the letter E.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10Who sees something that starts with the letter E?

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Mmm, that's a tough one.

0:05:12 > 0:05:13I see...

0:05:13 > 0:05:16- an eagle.- No, you don't.

0:05:16 > 0:05:21Maybe a hawk or an owl, but the eagle population in New York state has pretty much vanished.

0:05:21 > 0:05:26Wow, Grace, you are just getting smarter and smarter every day.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28Yeah, but I'm missing an Old Testament quiz.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Is that good or bad?

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Good.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Well, you can thank Mommy for that.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39You can, you know. I know you can do it.

0:05:39 > 0:05:40Say, thanks, Mom.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43- Thanks, Mom.- My pleasure!

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Anybody seen Jackie?

0:05:52 > 0:05:54She left for the day.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56- For the day?- Yep.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58I am covering for her.

0:06:00 > 0:06:01How convenient.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09I'm so sorry, but they told me to come here to get my methadone.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11The methadone clinic closes at nine.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15I know, but I had to take my dog to the vet's.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19She swallowed the squeaker from her chew toy, and by the time I got here, it was closed.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Nothing personal, but we're very strict about this.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23No, I understand that, but...

0:06:23 > 0:06:26I'm going to get sick and it was an emergency.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29Didn't I just tell you to go into admitting? Go!

0:06:29 > 0:06:32Guy got stabbed in the thigh. Positive pulse below the wound.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35What happened, dude, you get mugged by a midget?

0:06:35 > 0:06:38- I don't think that's...- Little person - sorry, little nurse Jackie.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41You probably meant that as an insult - very much a compliment.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45- He did it to himself, says it was an accident.- One, two, three...

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Er, it was an accident.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Erm, I work at this sandwich place...

0:06:52 > 0:06:57- Quiznos, Second Avenue, I know you. - Oh, huh! Of course.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Meatball sub, lightly toasted.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Let's cut his pants and get an IV in.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07Tell me how this happens to a man.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10Erm, well, you're probably not going to...

0:07:11 > 0:07:16I...I have Tourette's. Er, not the yelling kind!

0:07:16 > 0:07:19- That would totally suck.- But the really great stabbing yourself kind?

0:07:19 > 0:07:23No, but, I mean, I've never stabbed myself before.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Usually, I just hit myself.

0:07:25 > 0:07:26Not all the time.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29I just get ticks,

0:07:29 > 0:07:31like, like around girls.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Oh, when you're attracted to them.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36Well, sort of. It's...it's more like...

0:07:36 > 0:07:38- More like when you're overwhelmed? - Yeah.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Yeah.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43I... I don't know, I can't really explain it, no-one can.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46It's more prevalent than you think.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48You know something? I...

0:07:53 > 0:07:58We're going to stitch you up and get you out of here in no time, chief.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00OK, we have... What do we have?

0:08:00 > 0:08:03Fruit roll-ups and pretzels.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06The pretzels are mostly if you get car sick, Fi, OK?

0:08:06 > 0:08:09- I never get car sick. - Well, sometimes you do.

0:08:09 > 0:08:13Not this time. We're going to the country.

0:08:13 > 0:08:18- Why are we going to the country? - For an adventure - to see what the day brings.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21You know these don't have much fruit in them, don't you?

0:08:21 > 0:08:26As a matter of fact, yes, I did know that. I was trying to poison you.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28That's not funny, Mom.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31Aw, come on, it's a little funny.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33- A little.- Ha-ha!

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Oh, my God, I needed this.

0:08:37 > 0:08:41I'm sorry, honey, it took me so... Whatever.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43We're here and we are doing it.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Exactly.

0:08:48 > 0:08:49I love you.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Yes.

0:09:17 > 0:09:18Hey, are you a doctor?

0:09:18 > 0:09:22- Are you a patient?- I'm trying.

0:09:22 > 0:09:26Can you tell me why the flaming Norwegian won't...won't give me my methadone?

0:09:26 > 0:09:31I'm going through withdrawals here and nobody's helping me.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35Sir, I'm sorry. You're going to have to go back to the waiting room until you're called.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38I'm sorry, I...

0:09:38 > 0:09:43I have that much tolerance for drug addicts.

0:09:45 > 0:09:49Pardon me, but could either of you ladies tell me where I might find Jackie Peyton?

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Oh! I have no idea.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55May I help you?

0:09:55 > 0:09:59As a matter of fact, yes.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01I was wondering who I would speak to

0:10:01 > 0:10:04if I was to donate some money to this hospital.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08You see, one of your nurses saved my life when I was having a seizure.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10I'd love to hear all about it.

0:10:10 > 0:10:11I'm Gloria - and you are?

0:10:11 > 0:10:15- Bill.- It's my pleasure, Bill.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21O'Geraty, Karen O'Geraty...

0:10:21 > 0:10:23It's Kieran. It's Irish.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Aye! So it is!

0:10:25 > 0:10:28We're Irish, we're not pirates.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Welcome to America.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Well, it does look like a rash.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39- When did you notice this? - When we got off the plane.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42No, it was at the hotel, as I remember it.

0:10:42 > 0:10:46- Long flight from Dublin, huh? - Seven hours, not to mention the three we spent on the tarmac.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49Hi, I'm Dr Cooper.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Mr O'Geraty got a rash on his way back from Dublin.

0:10:54 > 0:10:57Yep, contact dermatitis, aka rash.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00Let's get him some cortisone cream.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Probably just an allergic reaction. Check it out.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05I'm allergic to cats.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08This morning, a cat stuck his rear end in my face. Hmm.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18- Agh.- That hurt?

0:11:18 > 0:11:21- Yes, it does. - What about itching - does it itch?

0:11:21 > 0:11:23No.

0:11:23 > 0:11:28What about his veins? They're worse than mine. What you think about that?

0:11:28 > 0:11:31Ah!

0:11:31 > 0:11:32Looks like a rash.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34It doesn't feel like a rash.

0:11:34 > 0:11:38Would you guys mind waiting here just a little bit?

0:11:43 > 0:11:45I think he might need another look.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Nah, he's good. You can discharge him.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49I was just thinking the rash is tender, they just made

0:11:49 > 0:11:53a transatlantic flight and he's got some pretty grisly varicose veins.

0:12:02 > 0:12:03Oh, my God.

0:12:03 > 0:12:07I'm sorry to bother you, Dr O'Hara.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Then it better be worth it.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Well, erm, OK.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16I was wondering if you could, you know, weigh in on something for me?

0:12:17 > 0:12:18Oh!

0:12:32 > 0:12:36Look, Mommy! I love her!

0:12:36 > 0:12:40Oh, my goodness. Honey, she is so ugly, she's cute!

0:12:40 > 0:12:46OK, so it's a praying mantis frozen for ever in genuine Lucite.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Great. It really is great.

0:12:48 > 0:12:49All right, everybody in.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54- They're loving this, babe. - Mmm, so am I.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56So am I.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58On to our next adventure!

0:13:01 > 0:13:05No. No calls, not today. I am here!

0:13:07 > 0:13:11Look, please don't put me in the position of asking you to return my call.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13Just get your manners together and do it.

0:13:17 > 0:13:22This is Dr O'Hara. Dr O'Hara, this is Kieran and Molly O'Geraty.

0:13:22 > 0:13:26- O'Hara, she's Irish.- Yes, only on my father's side, I'm afraid.- Still.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29She's going to check one more thing.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31No, Zoey, you should stay.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34It's your hunch we're following.

0:13:34 > 0:13:38Eddie, Eddie, I really need like a Zyrtec or...something.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41- What's the matter, are you allergic to yourself?- Oh!

0:13:48 > 0:13:52- Can I just say I'm loving it here today?- Really, why's that?

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Well, number one, you're back.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57Number two, Jackie's gone.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Oh, yeah? Where'd she go?

0:13:59 > 0:14:04- Eh, I don't really like to think about what she does when she's not around.- Hmm, here you go. Goodbye.

0:14:04 > 0:14:08You're probably wondering what I'm having a reaction to - am I right?

0:14:08 > 0:14:09No, not really.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12It's cats, that's what.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14Actually, it's one particular cat.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17You know Sam?

0:14:17 > 0:14:19- Sam the cat?- No, male nurse.

0:14:19 > 0:14:23Er, it's his girlfriend's cat.

0:14:23 > 0:14:24We hooked up.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26Not just once, either.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29And I fit in how?

0:14:29 > 0:14:33Does me fucking his girlfriend make me a total dick?

0:14:33 > 0:14:35No.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38A lot of things qualify you to be a dick.

0:14:38 > 0:14:43You are firing on a lot of cylinders, Coop, a lot of cylinders.

0:14:46 > 0:14:51I love this guy! I missed you so much. Ah.

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Yeah.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02We had a reservation at the Gray Flint Inn, but...

0:15:02 > 0:15:04They overbooked, didn't they?

0:15:04 > 0:15:09- Yeah.- It's not family-owned any more. When the senior Mr Piper died,

0:15:09 > 0:15:12his adopted son sold it to a corporation.

0:15:12 > 0:15:17Not like it used to be. It's good news for me though.

0:15:17 > 0:15:18This isn't a hotel.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21This is somebody's living room.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23It's called a bed and breakfast, sweetie.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27And this nice lady Elaine shares her house with guests.

0:15:27 > 0:15:31- And I am delighted to have you. Such a beautiful family.- Thank you.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34So our rooms would be where?

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Er, the only room is on the second floor.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41Nice and quiet and filled with gorgeous antiques.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Well, if that doesn't put you in the mood, I don't know what will.

0:15:44 > 0:15:48Hey, who likes eggs in the nest for breakfast?

0:15:52 > 0:15:55Well, this is great. This... This...

0:15:55 > 0:15:57Very cosy.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02Hey, erm,

0:16:02 > 0:16:05two tablets of Vicodin and some other shit.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08- Are you OK?- Yeah. No problem.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Er, my girlfriend's just blowing off my calls.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12Oh.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14I know all about that. Sam...

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Whatever. You know, it's probably nothing.

0:16:18 > 0:16:23Except last time she did this, there was another guy. Shit.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25That would kill me.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27- Oh!- Hey, Coop!

0:16:27 > 0:16:30- I left my pager, so...- Yeah.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32Poor Sam here thinks his lady's stepping out on him.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Really? That's...

0:16:34 > 0:16:38- Maybe not. I don't know, something's up.- Yeah.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42The trick is, find out who she's hanging out with. Am I right, Coop?

0:16:42 > 0:16:43Mm-hmm.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Sorry. Excuse me.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49Two Vicodin and some other shit.

0:16:52 > 0:16:53Hang in there, Sam.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Where's the TV?

0:17:03 > 0:17:05B&Bs don't have TV, honey.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Look, you guys, I tried finding a different hotel, I really did.

0:17:11 > 0:17:15You did great, Kev. I think you guys should try thanking Daddy.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19OK? Adventures toughen you up.

0:17:19 > 0:17:20Can we get popcorn shrimp now?

0:17:20 > 0:17:23How about we ask Elaine if there's a place for popcorn shrimp nearby?

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Or we can just go exploring.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33Knock, knock! Would you like some cold cuts and sodas?

0:17:33 > 0:17:35The kitchen's still open.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39Is there a seafood restaurant nearby? We're going to have a family dinner.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42Well, there's a tavern at the end of the road.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44They boast about their peel and eat shrimp,

0:17:44 > 0:17:46but I happen to know they're frozen.

0:17:46 > 0:17:50Well, you know, we all have our secrets.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54Grace, Fiona, I have a television downstairs.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58You didn't see it. It's in my grandma Ruth's antique pie cupboard.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- Please?- OK. But only for a bit.

0:18:14 > 0:18:19Hon, I know it's none of my business so I guess that's why I'm interested, but, erm...

0:18:21 > 0:18:24..you look a little ragged.

0:18:24 > 0:18:28I got some schnapps if you want it.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31I'm not going to say anything more on the subject.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37I like your frog collection.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42It's very nice.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55- You got a girlfriend?- Nah.

0:18:55 > 0:18:58Once they see the tick, they run.

0:18:58 > 0:18:59That's a shame

0:18:59 > 0:19:01because you're obviously a nice guy.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07I've lost my fair share of girls too.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Thanks for the pep talk, man,

0:19:09 > 0:19:13but I saw your picture on this place's brochure.

0:19:13 > 0:19:17You're not exactly the kind of guy I can relate to.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19I have Tourette's, bro.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21Get out of here!

0:19:21 > 0:19:25I act out in inappropriate sexual touch.

0:19:25 > 0:19:30It's true. Believe me when I tell you I know what it's like

0:19:30 > 0:19:33to lose a girl over an involuntary neurological response.

0:19:33 > 0:19:37- Oh, no way!- Yes, way.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40Nearly lost a couple of jobs along the way too.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42But you're a doctor.

0:19:42 > 0:19:43Yes, I am.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46A doctor who gets a lot of ladies.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50- OK!- Mind over matter, my friend.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53You can beat this.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Later, Quiznos.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02OK, see here?

0:20:02 > 0:20:05That's a small,

0:20:05 > 0:20:08barely-perceptible blood clot.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Blood clot? Oh, my God!

0:20:10 > 0:20:14Yeah, you came very close to having a pulmonary embolism

0:20:14 > 0:20:15which could've killed you.

0:20:18 > 0:20:22But luckily, you have this young lady to thank for catching it.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26I'll leave you in charge, Zoe.

0:20:30 > 0:20:32I'm not like young young.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35- I mean, I'm rounding the corner to the big 24.- Thank you.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41All in a day's work.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43Genesis 3,7.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47And the...

0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Eyes of them both...- Yeah.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52..were opened and they knew that they were naked...

0:20:52 > 0:20:55Ooh, naked. No, let's start with...

0:20:55 > 0:20:56THEY GIGGLE

0:20:56 > 0:21:00What do you think her story is?

0:21:00 > 0:21:03She seemed like an ex-nun or something.

0:21:03 > 0:21:04I don't know.

0:21:04 > 0:21:08She's kind of odd. She seems nice enough though.

0:21:10 > 0:21:15- She's fuckin' weird. - She's so fuckin' weird.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19We'll get a good night's sleep and have the breakfast part of our B&B,

0:21:19 > 0:21:20and take off in the morning.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Kevin?

0:21:24 > 0:21:26What's up?

0:21:26 > 0:21:29Please don't kill me.

0:21:29 > 0:21:34I'm just having this there's no place like home kind of a moment.

0:21:34 > 0:21:38I like our bed. I like our breakfast. How fucked up is that?

0:21:38 > 0:21:41I drag us all the way out here and that's all I can think about.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44- You want to go home?- Is that awful?

0:21:44 > 0:21:47- I think that's great. - Really? We can go home?

0:21:47 > 0:21:48We can always go home, baby.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51Ah!

0:21:51 > 0:21:54- Oh.- You're shivering. You cold?

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Oh.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00- A little clammy.- That's blood sugar.

0:22:00 > 0:22:04How about I dump a little more schnapps in that hot cocoa?

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Mmm.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Handsome and smart.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22I've been here all fuckin' day!

0:22:22 > 0:22:28- Sir, do not take that tone with me. - Please! I'm beggin' ya!

0:22:28 > 0:22:32Do you not see this guy? He's in full-blown withdrawal.

0:22:32 > 0:22:36- He skipped the clinic today. - I had an emergency!- I'm sorry.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39- We can't encourage this.- So you treat his symptoms, give him meth.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41The guy is in withdrawal. You don't see this?

0:22:41 > 0:22:45Do you need to go back to nursing school? Jesus fucking Christ!

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Give him 20 methadone now!

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Keep your voice down, Dr Cooper.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52You know what the problem with healthcare is today? Nobody cares!

0:22:52 > 0:22:53But I do - for the record.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56But you missed a pulmonary embolism.

0:22:56 > 0:22:57- What?- Nothing.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04Drinks?

0:23:04 > 0:23:07- You're joking.- I don't joke.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09I need a drink, don't you?

0:23:11 > 0:23:16So if you're not married any more, how come you still wear that ring?

0:23:16 > 0:23:22Keep people away. Cops, short, fat married men.

0:23:22 > 0:23:27They see me in a nice suit and can't help themselves.

0:23:27 > 0:23:28Catnip.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Catnip?

0:23:34 > 0:23:36My whole life! Many years.

0:23:39 > 0:23:43That's so great.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Thank you, guys, for being so good about leaving early.

0:23:47 > 0:23:51Sometimes the perfect vacation is just being with your family,

0:23:51 > 0:23:53even if it's in your own house.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56We have a better TV, anyways.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Hey, I can't see in the dark.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03How are we supposed to play the alphabet game

0:24:03 > 0:24:04if we can't see anything?

0:24:04 > 0:24:08Well, if it's dark outside, you have to find things inside the car.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Let's see, what letter were we on?

0:24:10 > 0:24:12H was for Honda.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14I was for interstate.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16J, we're on J.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21J is for...

0:24:21 > 0:24:24Jackie's phone, which is not a toy.

0:24:24 > 0:24:28Can we call Dr O'Hara? She called us three times!

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Sweetie, no. No work, no school today.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33That's the whole thing about playing hooky.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36Baby, if you need to call her back, call her back.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38Sit back, Fi, put your seat belt on.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40Whatever it is, it can wait.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42There's nothing more important than being here.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:24:44 > 0:24:47Oh! Oh! Oh, no, wait. This is Jackie.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49- It's ringing.- God damn it, Fiona!

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Give me that phone!

0:24:51 > 0:24:53- 'Hello?'- Oh, hello, Fiona darling.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55She's at a bar.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57Have you seen your new school?

0:24:57 > 0:24:59- I'm not playing!- My new what?

0:24:59 > 0:25:02- 'My new what?' - Have you seen your new school?

0:25:02 > 0:25:06- She wants to know if I've seen my new school.- God damn it...

0:25:06 > 0:25:08- Do I have a new school? - Sweetie, give me that phone!

0:25:08 > 0:25:10- I'm not playing! - What's she talking about?

0:25:10 > 0:25:13I have no idea. She's at a bar, she's shitfaced.

0:25:13 > 0:25:17- Fiona, give me that phone right now! - Jackie?

0:25:17 > 0:25:20Hi. Listen, honey, this is not a good time. We will talk tomorrow.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22OK, bye.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25- What did I do?- What did she do?

0:25:25 > 0:25:27It's OK, Fi. You didn't do anything.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Tell me you didn't take her money.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39I...

0:25:39 > 0:25:42I begged you.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45I made you look me in the eye.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Please tell me you didn't take her fucking money.

0:25:49 > 0:25:50You took it.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56Kevin, please don't do this.

0:25:56 > 0:25:59- Seriously, Kevin...- Dad! - Kevin, don't do this!

0:25:59 > 0:26:01- Where are you going?- Kevin, please!

0:26:04 > 0:26:07I'm sorry, guys. Don't worry, he's just playing a game.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13Doesn't he have to be inside the car to play?

0:26:19 > 0:26:21No, this one has different rules.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:26:36 > 0:26:39E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk