0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains strong language
0:00:04 > 0:00:07Kaitlyn and Fi touched them and filled them with bacteria.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Washing your hands every two minutes is kind of crazy.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13- Ooh, that's a lot.- Number 23, All Saints Hospital Dr Fitch Cooper?
0:00:13 > 0:00:20- How did this happen?- We want to launch a citywide campaign featuring you as the face of All Saints.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24- You know Sarah Kohri?- God, I could not love her more.- Yeah.
0:00:24 > 0:00:30- Get in line. - When I get nervous I act out with inappropriate sexual touches.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33- It's like Tourette's. - You and me, tonight...
0:00:33 > 0:00:34Third base line.
0:00:34 > 0:00:39- I think I'm pregnant.- Wow.
0:00:39 > 0:00:44- Are you jealous of Ginny Flynn? You're overreacting. - No, I am reacting.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46I get to react, OK?
0:02:08 > 0:02:15# I'm not looking for romance I'm trying to locate... #
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Coffee black with a little milk.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Oh, God I love this place.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21You always remember how I take my coffee.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Mm. Yes. I remember all things that pertain to her.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28I like your new sheets. Very soft.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31I'm glad you worked through your cotton-poly-blend phase.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Stick around, you'll learn all kinds of things about me.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Now I forget, you have heard of CDs right?
0:02:37 > 0:02:41You hear that? You hear those lows?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Digital is bullshit.
0:02:44 > 0:02:50I guess. I pretty much stopped listening to music when the Teletubbies moved into my home.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51That's funny.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53You know the Teletubbies?
0:02:53 > 0:02:56- I'm a cultured man. - I shouldn't talk about my kids.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Why not? It's your life. What are you going to talk about?
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Yes, it is. My fabulous life.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04- Give me an example.- Of what?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06What you do.
0:03:06 > 0:03:11What's...what's tonight? Come on.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Uh, let's see.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Tonight Gracie is having a sleepover with her friend Kaitlyn.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- You do not like Kaitlyn. - No, I do not.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22How about Kevin? What's he up to?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25OK. That I can't do.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27I'm sorry.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31This thing with you guys hanging out...
0:03:31 > 0:03:33It's very cute but it's got to stop.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Got it. I got a couple of roxies laying around if you want 'em.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38No. My back's pretty good actually.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44And FYI,
0:03:44 > 0:03:48I am here because I like you not because you have drugs.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Aw. You like me, huh?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- What do you want me to say, Eddie? - What do you think?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56I gotta go.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03See ya.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Hey. Whoo that smells good.
0:04:10 > 0:04:16- How was work? - Oh, you know, fine. Crazy.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Did you pick up the movies?
0:04:18 > 0:04:23Oh, shit. Honey, no, I'm sorry. I didn't. You know what? I'll go get 'em now.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25No, no, that's fine. You're here. Just...stay here.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Uh, take over for me, please.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- All right.- OK, girls. Corn's ready.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33PHONE VIBRATES
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Dad can I have a Coke?
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- Negative.- Hi, Grace, honey.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Thanks for asking. My day was fine.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Popcorn! Ow! Kaitlyn tripped me!
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- No, I didn't. - OK, let me take a look.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54The kitchen stinks. I think you're burning it.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55- It's better that way.- No, it's not.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- It's better than nothing. - You look OK.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Good thing. I didn't feel like setting any broken bones tonight.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04I want a broken bone with a cast on my arm!
0:05:04 > 0:05:08- I could get one for my birthday. - Retarded.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Kaitlyn! Be nice.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11OK, cranberry or apple juice?
0:05:11 > 0:05:16- Cranberry.- I don't care. - Coke?- No Fi. No Coke.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Hey, do you still wear diapers?
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Kaitlyn, honey listen to me.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Shut the fuck up.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04What?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12(What?)
0:06:12 > 0:06:14(She is not a nice kid.)
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Her home life is a mess.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Might want to lighten up.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- Do you know what happened to my Joni Mitchell albums?- Nope.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Fuck!
0:06:59 > 0:07:04Motorcycle accident, ETA two minutes! Let's focus people!
0:07:04 > 0:07:09- Can we move a little faster?! - Zoey, go easy honey. They're fine, they're OK.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14Not seeing a lot of people on their toes!
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Other than Jackie and me.
0:07:19 > 0:07:25Aw, geez. I'm sorry. I gotta go... And not pee.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- I can't wipe.- Jackie?
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- Zoey.- Sam!
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- Hey you're the guy on the bus stops. - You saw that?
0:07:33 > 0:07:37You're a doctor, huh? I thought you were a model. I mean you look like a model.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Thank you.
0:07:40 > 0:07:45- Jealous much, Jackie? - "If looks could cure. " No I'm good.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49I am doing what it takes to bring the sick and the injured into this hospital so that I can cure them.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Call ortho. Tell them the face of All Saints is just about done here.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57- You've got to give him a hand in the bathroom.- I told you to do it. - She's got a code coming in.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02- We all set? Everybody happy? - I'm happy if you're happy.
0:08:02 > 0:08:0634-year-old female lost control of her motorcycle on the FDR.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Running two large bore IVs wide open, 69 over 40.
0:08:08 > 0:08:13Get respiratory with a vent. Who's with me? Transfer. Ready. One, two, three. Who's working my lines?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Zoey.- Me, certainly, right now.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Oh, that leg's a bit Humpty Dumpty.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Massive internal bleeding. Shit.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22- Name, what's her name? - Jennifer.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Jennifer, are you with us? Can you hear me?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- I'm still here.- What's that honey?
0:08:30 > 0:08:34- Where am I? - You're in All Saints hospital. You've been in an accident.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38- I'm fucking alive?- Yes, you are. We'll take very good care of you.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- No. Fuck. Please don't. - We'll get you out of pain first. OK?
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Good fuckin' luck.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Can I have 100 of sux and 40 of etomidate?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Sux and etomidate.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Zoey, call the OR.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52"All gave some. Some gave all. "
0:08:52 > 0:08:53Wow she's in the service.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Zoey call the O R, now.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- Bet her spleen is all but shot. - You don't need your spleen.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Actually, Zoey, you do.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02She's right. Incredibly.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05New research says spleens produce all the monocytes.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Hugs for the continuing education, Dr Cooper. You'll let us know the next big thing?
0:09:09 > 0:09:14At least I get my information from medical journals not from AOL like Jackie.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15Well, he's got me there.
0:09:16 > 0:09:21- Hi are you Trey?- Yeah.- Hi, Dr O'Hara wanted me to update you.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24We are doing everything we can but I'm not going to blue-sky you.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27She has a ruptured spleen and that's not good.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32OK.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Excuse me.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48Excuse me.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51No-one's allowed over the yellow line.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Sorry, er, hi, Tony Frambi. I'm with Cellulab.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- We are overrun with you guys. - If...if I could, uh...
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Nurse Peyton, leave you with a few samples. It's my first day.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03It's not going to work.
0:10:03 > 0:10:08Flopro is new for incontinence, excellent results. And Joyfulax is a real up and comer for depression.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13This is an ER, Tony. People don't come here cos they're sad. I mean they do but that's not...
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Um, you know, what's exciting?
0:10:15 > 0:10:20Capsaicin. Studies show that it treats neuropathic pain better than any barbiturate in its class.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- Is that right?- Uh, yeah.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30- Uh, can I see the studies? - Uh yeah. I'll bring them by tomorrow.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- Oh, that's too much. - Oh, please I have plenty.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35OK, that's... I don't... That's good.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- It's fine. See you tomorrow.- OK.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Do you believe this?
0:11:08 > 0:11:11- Who knew women could be such pigs? - Me.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Chart for motorcycle crash, the girl with the ruptured spleen.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Poor spleen.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Minding its own business, then...bam!
0:11:26 > 0:11:31Call it a day. Life as you know it is over.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Over.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36C'est la vie.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Wah-wah!
0:11:41 > 0:11:42SHE SIGHS
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Zoey get back here.
0:11:46 > 0:11:51I don't know if it's hormones or fear of being a mother or what but you're getting a little weird.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54First of all, have you had a pregnancy test?
0:11:54 > 0:11:56No. No. Unnecessary.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- And why is that?- I'm pregnant.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00And you know this how?
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Uh, I know my body...
0:12:03 > 0:12:06pretty well and they're...
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Jackie walk with me, please.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19The good news is our endowment's intact even though our revenues are down.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- The bad news is... - The bad news is under your arm.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22Don't speak. Listen.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26If anyone knows what a crock of shit this is it's me.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29But the hospital needs this to work so get behind it.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Why are we advertising inside the hospital? The patients are already here.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35This is not our field of expertise, Jackie.
0:12:35 > 0:12:40Our PR people have a multi-pronged strategy. This is one of the prongs.
0:12:40 > 0:12:46They may not look like much to you but each of these costs 286.
0:12:46 > 0:12:51Vandalising or disfiguring any Dr Coopers will be met by a shitstorm. Don't test me.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Oh, Jacks.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59To think all of this could've been yours.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Ladies.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Who's the handsome guy?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09It may be my face but it's our body.
0:13:09 > 0:13:14Speaking of our body what's wrong with it? It doesn't appear to be quite life-size does it, Dr Cooper?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19- That is weird.- It's more than weird. I'd say it's a travesty.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23- It's a tiny little travesty. - Hmm. Miniature really. - You think I'm stupid?
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Fortunately, the face of All Saints is not petty.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34MOBILE PHONE CHIMES
0:13:36 > 0:13:38What?
0:13:38 > 0:13:39Turn around.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44You said you'd call.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45I lied.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56Oh, God what's wrong with me?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- This is Jackie? - You told her about me?
0:13:59 > 0:14:04- Come on, what else would I talk about?- Where are we going for lunch? Not Barneys. Jackie, you pick.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Oh, I can't go to lunch. Thank you. There's sick people all over the place.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10There's one right there I've got to deal with right now.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- Come on!- Come on!
0:14:12 > 0:14:15SHE LAUGHS
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Exactly how drunk were we?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20I don't know but we talk our way on to an American military slope...
0:14:20 > 0:14:25- Oh!- ..in the Bavarian fucking Alps and we tell them that we're colonels' wives.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27- You did. I was a general's wife. - A general's wife, I'm sorry.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31We're in the line for the lift and we just can't keep our hands off each other.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35- We were a bit grabby!- You guys!
0:14:36 > 0:14:40We ended up telling this gawking sergeant that our husbands have been
0:14:40 > 0:14:43deployed in Kosovo for over a year and we're just consoling each other.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45We're just consoling each other.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46SHE LAUGHS
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Hmm. God, you're settling in Washington?
0:14:53 > 0:14:55That's what they tell me.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57- That's exciting.- No, not really.
0:14:57 > 0:15:03Well, good gig but once you've talked your way out of a drunk general's tent in Mogadishu,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- covering congressional hearings doesn't exactly cut it.- Hmm.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Oh, great. A medieval war has just broken out.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Someone's shot an arrow into a man's lung.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- Oh, Cupid is having a bad day. - I disagree.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Well, I've got the check. - Hey that's absurd!- Come on.
0:15:18 > 0:15:22In six years of lunches I have never seen her leave so much as a pickle.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28- Sorry?- No...
0:15:32 > 0:15:35- Wow. It really is an arrow. - Would I lie to you?
0:15:35 > 0:15:39Some rich douche bag drank his lunch and then decided to shoot an arrow off his roof.
0:15:39 > 0:15:44Hang on a minute. You're going after rich people who drink. I don't think I like that very much. Right.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48- Let's call up to radiology for a CAT scan and a portable chest.- Got it.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- Hey can I ask you a question about Zoey?- Nope.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Hey, Ronnie, how you doing?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59You believe this?
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- It's brand new.- What's brand new? - I heard it but I didn't believe it.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- What?- Wow.- Shot by an arrow...
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- Standing on sixth.- You're here why?
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- I've never even been mugged. - Wow check it out, Carbon King. That's top of the line.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Are you talking about the freaking arrow?- Yes.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20But my roommate in college was a member of the archery club so I know a thing or two.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23At the most. Please get out of here.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27- It's brand new.- What, the arrow?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29No...the lung.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Heavy is the head that wears the crown, Dr Cooper.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57I've done the math.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01I can cover all your shifts during your maternity leave if you cover me.
0:17:01 > 0:17:07If you take my shifts my mom and I can go to Holland Michigan for the Tulip Festival, finally.
0:17:08 > 0:17:13I told you about my condition for your support.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17- Not so you can plan a vacation. - I'm putting a bright spin on things.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25Hey, hold on a minute. Yeah, I can do it.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Thank you. This has been a dream of ours.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29So...
0:17:29 > 0:17:30are you close to your mother?
0:17:30 > 0:17:36Not really. She sold me into slavery when I was four and I lived on the streets until a mission intervened.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41One year for a Halloween I went as a slave.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45Kidding. I grew up in Jersey went to Rutgers.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Kidding. By "slave" I meant "Princess Leia."
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Fucking motorcycle.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58I'm sorry I curse so much.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Yeah well, fuck that.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05She serves in the Helmand province, OK? Kandahar.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10Jesus Christ what do I tell my kids if she dies right here at home?
0:18:10 > 0:18:14I don't have the answer to that but you don't have to cross that bridge yet.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17She doesn't sleep, doesn't cry,
0:18:17 > 0:18:19barely fuckin' eats.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23She had this bike, like, this Ducati, ten years ago.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Awesome, I mean...
0:18:25 > 0:18:27awesome motorcycle.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Brad Pitt has one.
0:18:29 > 0:18:35So I went out and spent, like, 8,000 on a kick-ass motorcycle.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Thought it might clear her head.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- You know?- Yeah, I know.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44I know.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Now look what I've done.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Oh, God, what did I do?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51You were making her happy.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58It was an accident, Trey. They're called accidents for a reason.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14SHE BREATHES DEEPLY
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Mm-mm. I'm not ready for this.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Being a mother's hard.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30You know that already.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46SHE SIGHS DEEPLY
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Didn't make it.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Bleeding!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56My apologies.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Is she always this...?
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Yeah.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26I regret my behaviour.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- Good.- But can I just say that miracles can happen every day?
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Yeah, like the day they invented rubbers. Try using them.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36MOBILE VIBRATES
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- Hey.- 'Hey.' How's your day going?
0:20:40 > 0:20:44- 'Oh, you know, same old.' Yours? - 'Good. So I want to do this'
0:20:44 > 0:20:47full disclosure thing so there's no more confusion.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48'I'm heading into the city for happy hour.'
0:20:48 > 0:20:50We're going to play ping-pong.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54Well, Jesus, Kevin I'm not your mom.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Ping-pong?- 'Yeah.' Susan Sarandon opened up a club.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58'My friend Eddie got us a table.'
0:21:04 > 0:21:10- I know you're leaving but I thought you should know Mr Conroy, arrow guy, transplanted lung...- Yes?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12The man who shot him sent his driver in.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Where?
0:21:23 > 0:21:28Your boss nearly kills my patient and he sends his driver in.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33There's eight million people in this fuckin' city. What kind of a moron shoots an arrow off a roof?
0:21:33 > 0:21:38The man he hit waited three years for a lung transplant. Guess where he got hit?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Ma'am, my boss is a freakin' dick.
0:21:40 > 0:21:45- Can I just ask if they guy's OK? - Well, yes. Miraculously he is.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Why isn't your dick of a boss in jail?
0:21:47 > 0:21:51The reckless endangerment charges were dismissed. He's connected.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53So, you're here to apologise?
0:21:53 > 0:21:54No.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I'm here for his arrow.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06He's not in there, ma'am.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- Is this a Mercedes?- S65 AMG.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Only 15 ever made.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16METALLIC SCRAPING
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Nice car.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21It's really gorgeous.
0:22:21 > 0:22:26Got heated seats? What a beautiful piece of machinery.
0:22:29 > 0:22:30What kind of mileage you get?
0:22:31 > 0:22:33You missed a spot.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Argh!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Hey babe.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15See what he just did?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- Shit, man, that was good. - Hiya, Jackie.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- A little spin on that, huh? - Yeah, a lot of spin. Yeah.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Thirsty? They got like 20 beers on tap. Get us a pitcher?
0:23:24 > 0:23:28- Yeah. Yeah, let's get a pitcher. - Yeah?- Yeah, thanks, man.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30What the hell?
0:23:30 > 0:23:32What? You told me to stop seeing him.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- I never said I would.- Why, Eddie?
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Hedging my bets a little, I guess.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39You lie to me again I tell him everything.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Oh, I see. So you just got the whole thing figured out, then?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44As a matter of fact, I do.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Well, I guess we'll see about that, won't we?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Here we go. >
0:23:48 > 0:23:52- All right!- Cheers.- Cheers.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- Kick his ass.- Will do.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04HE GIGGLES
0:24:17 > 0:24:20You know this is pretend, right?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22How long do I get to keep it on?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Well, I don't know.
0:24:24 > 0:24:30- Not just for my birthday but past it, too, right?- We will see how you do.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Really, Fi, this is really what you want?
0:24:33 > 0:24:38- This will harden up and you'll be stuck with it for a little bit. - I know.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45- Mom?- Yes, honey.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Nothing's really broken.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:25:12 > 0:25:14E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk