0:00:06 > 0:00:09SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS
0:00:13 > 0:00:16How many time have I told you?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18I hate foxes. Told you not to come round here, didn't I?
0:00:18 > 0:00:23No, I ain't coming with you - you're going somewhere else, son.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Micky, wake up, you bloody idiot.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Oof! Sorry, babe.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32- Sorry for what? - I've killed the fox.
0:00:32 > 0:00:33You've been dreaming.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35The fox took a shit on Jamie's ball last night.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Did it? - Yes, it did, it is very much alive.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40If you'd put the ball in the shed like I told you to...
0:00:40 > 0:00:44I had a couple of, er, bottles... glasses of wine.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Right, OK. Well, I've got to go and do the school run now, all right?
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Before you go, here's an idea for you...
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Mm-hm?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Do you fancy jumping back into this bed when you get back?
0:00:51 > 0:00:55No chance. I've got too much to do, you can wait until tonight.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58It don't really work like that for men!
0:00:58 > 0:01:00What is the point, eh?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02You don't stop giving, you get nothing back.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Waste of time.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19You arsehole.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23CAMERA WHIRS
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Oi! Boom-shack-a-lacka.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Now you know who's the guv'nor round here.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35CAMERA WHIRS
0:01:38 > 0:01:40CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
0:01:44 > 0:01:45STATION CHANGES
0:01:45 > 0:01:49MUSIC: "Fox On The Run" by The Sweet
0:01:59 > 0:02:00FOX LAUGHS
0:02:03 > 0:02:05SAUCE SQUELCHES
0:02:06 > 0:02:07DOOR CLOSES
0:02:12 > 0:02:14I've just seen Harry from next door.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16His pet fox is dead.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Someone smashed its head in.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Maybe it ran into a wall, or something.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Yeah, well, they're going through the CCTV footage,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24see if they can spot anything.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Oh, yeah, good idea.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Poor Harry, he loves animals.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Yeah, it's people he don't like, though, ain't it?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Yeah. Well, I hope they find who did it.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Yeah.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Yeah, take care, bye.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44Who was that?
0:02:44 > 0:02:46The Old Bill.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48They've got footage of me
0:02:48 > 0:02:50in my underpants in the garden.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52They think I killed the fox.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54What were you doing in the garden in your pants?
0:02:54 > 0:02:57You know what you asked me to the other day -
0:02:57 > 0:02:59you said the gardener told you,
0:02:59 > 0:03:02"Get your husband to piss in the garden first thing in the morning
0:03:02 > 0:03:05"cos that when it's strongest, keeps the foxes away." Yeah?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07I meant piss into a watering can
0:03:07 > 0:03:09and sprinkle it on the garden.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12You know I can't get my knob in the end of a watering can,
0:03:12 > 0:03:14you of all people know that.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16If a man can't piss in his own garden, what can he do?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19What, are we living in a police state here or something?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39RADIO: 'Reports say that the fox was killed with a blow to the head.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43'Police have questioned a 48-year-old man
0:03:43 > 0:03:46'and are in the process of examining CCTV footage of the incident.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49'Now on to the day's business news...'
0:03:49 > 0:03:50HE TURNS RADIO OFF
0:03:50 > 0:03:53TV: '..And if anyone recognises these underpants,
0:03:53 > 0:03:55'please phone Crimestoppers.'
0:03:55 > 0:03:57SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS
0:04:20 > 0:04:23'I've known Micky Flanagan for about five years.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25'A perfectly nice guy,
0:04:25 > 0:04:27'but he's got a bit of a temper on him
0:04:27 > 0:04:28'and he hates foxes.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30'That's him in a nutshell.'
0:04:30 > 0:04:31'In terms of a threat, I can tell you
0:04:31 > 0:04:37'that you're 62 times more likely to be bitten by a person than a fox.'
0:04:37 > 0:04:40'I'm here because I,
0:04:40 > 0:04:42'as a human-rights campaigner,
0:04:42 > 0:04:43'believe in due process,
0:04:43 > 0:04:47'in freedom of expression, and in justice.'
0:04:47 > 0:04:49'You're allowed to use what's called reasonable force.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52'But there is some doubt, I think, in people's minds,
0:04:52 > 0:04:54'and sometimes in the minds of the court,
0:04:54 > 0:04:55'what reasonable force really...'
0:04:55 > 0:04:58TV: 'Putin is holding back judgement
0:04:58 > 0:05:01'until he knows if the fox is a homosexual.'
0:05:01 > 0:05:04'I haven't met him, I've spoken to him on the phone.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06'He has been a stalwart ally,
0:05:06 > 0:05:08'in many respects, to the United states.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11'He has sustained peace...'
0:05:11 > 0:05:15TRANSLATION FROM KOREAN:
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Trust him to get on the bandwagon!
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Typical.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Ponce.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26RADIO: 'No-one could have expected
0:05:26 > 0:05:27'that a tin of beans and a fox could have brought the world...'
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Right, Micky, you have got to sort this out.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Half the neighbours aren't talking to me
0:05:31 > 0:05:34and someone's written "foxy lady" on the side of the car down at school.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Look, did you kill the fox?
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Yes, yes.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40In my dream.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Well, you have got to stand up for yourself, then. OK?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45And you're sleeping down here tonight.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Yeah, and I'm sleeping down here tonight!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51(She can't talk to me like that.)
0:06:02 > 0:06:04So I'm the bad guy, am I?
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Yeah, I killed that fox,
0:06:06 > 0:06:09but you have no idea what I've been through.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13I've made a list of the reasons I'm a good person.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15When we were kids
0:06:15 > 0:06:17and we went to play over the rail yard
0:06:17 > 0:06:20and we were chased away by a man,
0:06:20 > 0:06:24my friend Tony pooed his pants.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Everyone was laughing at him.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28I didn't laugh.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30I made him take those pants off,
0:06:30 > 0:06:34I swung 'em around my head and I threw 'em on the garage roof.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39And then went to Woolworths and got him a new pair.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Is that the act of a bad person?
0:06:41 > 0:06:44On the way home from work one day
0:06:44 > 0:06:46I saw a crow in a doorway.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50It wasn't flying, it wasn't even walking.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52I put it in a box,
0:06:52 > 0:06:55I was going to take it to the vet.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56But I went to the pub
0:06:56 > 0:06:59and when I come out it was dead.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01That's not the point.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03At least I was caring about the crow.
0:07:04 > 0:07:10I sent £10 off to Live Aid in 1985.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12I turned Africa around.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Is that the act of a bad person?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27RADIO: 'Morning, everyone.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29'Hello, hello, hello...'
0:07:29 > 0:07:33MICKY: 'My friend Tony pooed his pants,
0:07:33 > 0:07:35'everyone was laughing at him.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37'I didn't laugh.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40'I made him take those pants off.'
0:07:40 > 0:07:42RADIO: '..And the year right this morning...'
0:07:42 > 0:07:44STATION CHANGES
0:07:44 > 0:07:47RADIO: 'More people are coming out in support of the fox-slayer,
0:07:47 > 0:07:49'and a police spokesperson has stated
0:07:49 > 0:07:52'that he does not envisage there being a prosecution in this case.'
0:07:52 > 0:07:54STATION CHANGES
0:07:54 > 0:07:56RADIO: 'A spokesman for the Queen has confirmed
0:07:56 > 0:07:59'Her Majesty herself once threw a horseshoe at a fox
0:07:59 > 0:08:01'that was pestering one of her swans.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02STATION CHANGES
0:08:02 > 0:08:04RADIO: 'The Dalai Lama has said
0:08:04 > 0:08:07'that Flanagan will definitely come back as a hunted animal,
0:08:07 > 0:08:11'and that, in life, he will know the true nature of suffering.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14'He also wants to try a can of baked beans.'
0:08:16 > 0:08:19You've heard about the confession, then?
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Do you want me just to go?
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Are you kidding?
0:08:25 > 0:08:29You're my hero, Micky. You finally killed that fox!
0:08:29 > 0:08:33You know how much I like it when you go all Ray Winstone.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Now get up those stairs, you sexy beast.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I am the luckiest girl in the world.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44You have won the lottery.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Yeah, I wouldn't go that far!
0:08:47 > 0:08:48I think so, I think we can go that far.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50No, I wouldn't go quite that far.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52THEY GIGGLE
0:08:52 > 0:08:56MUSIC: "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye
0:09:01 > 0:09:03# Ooh
0:09:03 > 0:09:06# Baby
0:09:06 > 0:09:09# I'm hot just like an oven
0:09:09 > 0:09:11# I need some lovin'
0:09:11 > 0:09:16# And baby
0:09:16 > 0:09:19# I can't hold it much longer
0:09:19 > 0:09:22# It's getting stronger and stronger
0:09:22 > 0:09:25# And when I get that feelin'
0:09:25 > 0:09:28# I want sexual healing... #