0:00:01 > 0:00:03Ben, stop unwrapping, you've unwrapped plenty of presents.
0:00:03 > 0:00:05- You can't unwrap that.- Why not?
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Because that present's for me.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Yeah, but mum let me unwrap her chocolates.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12I know... actually, where are they?
0:00:12 > 0:00:13I dunno.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16OK, 8.30, that's Christmas over...
0:00:16 > 0:00:18- What?! - What, you can't do that!
0:00:18 > 0:00:23- It's Christmas, I want to shoot people with my new gun.- Going away on Christmas isn't Christmassy.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27Constantly saying "Have you kept the receipt?" isn't very Christmassy either.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29This is the schedule, and if we stick to this,
0:00:29 > 0:00:33we'll be at the airport the ridiculously three hours early they decree.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37- Why can't we spend Christmas at home?- Because we agreed, Karen.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41We would spend our premium bond win on a week in the sun.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45I didn't. I wanted to spend it on 32 micro pigs.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Ben, we've talked about this - we really need a break.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52OK, Christmas needs to be cleared up in 15 minutes...max!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54As I think is clear.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56What?
0:00:56 > 0:00:59No, no, we all need a break.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02It's been a very stressful few months, what with, you know,
0:01:02 > 0:01:05your sister and your dad, and your job thing
0:01:05 > 0:01:08and the bedding infestation,
0:01:08 > 0:01:13and Karen's silly letter and the social services over-reacting.
0:01:13 > 0:01:18Do I have time to try out my metal detector? I might be able to find my home-made flame-thrower.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20I never knew what happened to that.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23I think you'll find it melted in the shed fire. Stop doing that.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28Jake! Jake, you haven't moved since I said to everybody to help clear up.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31In fact, you haven't spoken since seven o'clock.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Karen! Don't get distracted.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36You need to decide which new book to take with you.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Oh, look, there you go The Dangerous Book For Boys.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44Nah, someone should take this guy to court. I had a look at Ibrahim's, it's not dangerous at all.
0:01:44 > 0:01:49- It's got dangerous stuff... - Like, how to behave in front of girls. What's dangerous about that?
0:01:49 > 0:01:52- That's just like a PSHE lesson. - Right.- And look this. First aid.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55That's not dangerous, that's the opposite of dangerous!
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- That's so you can know how... - There's nothing about
0:01:58 > 0:02:01running through an alligator pen with steak down your trousers.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05- Well, that's...- There's nothing about firework shoes in here. - Firework shoes?
0:02:11 > 0:02:12SWITCHES SHAVER ON
0:02:12 > 0:02:17Look at this stuff. I mean, grinding an italic nib...
0:02:17 > 0:02:18what's dangerous about that?!
0:02:18 > 0:02:22- OK, that's not dangerous... - If it was dangerous it would say "lion taming",
0:02:22 > 0:02:26not "grinding an italic nib". Who chose me this?
0:02:26 > 0:02:32It was from me. I'm sorry it doesn't have a section on how to bake an anthrax cookie or something, but...
0:02:32 > 0:02:37- It's not dangerous.- It's going to be very dangerous if you get behind your mum's schedule. Go!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Karen! Can you come down, please?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Jake! Move!
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Why the hell are we flying on Christmas Day?
0:02:51 > 0:02:56- It was the only flight available. - They're available cos no normal person wants to fly
0:02:56 > 0:02:57on Christmas Day.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Ignore him, he's got a hangover.
0:02:59 > 0:03:04- Yep, three years before it's legal for him to drink.- What is this obsession with not breaking the law?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06What time are you vi...
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Ben!
0:03:07 > 0:03:09What time are you visiting your Dad?
0:03:09 > 0:03:1140 minutes.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Do you think we should be going on holiday, with him in hospital?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Look, they said it's just a minor kidney infection.
0:03:17 > 0:03:22- the only reason they've checked him into this hospital is to keep an eye on him.- I know, it's just...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24well, we were on holiday when Mum died.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25But that was out of the blue.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29- We tried to get a flight back home. - Oh, I really lost it at the airport, didn't I?
0:03:29 > 0:03:34That wasn't your fault. You're probably off that blacklist by now.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36So we can't go back to Egypt, who cares?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Oh, I dunno what to do, it's-it's just...
0:03:38 > 0:03:42If you've having doubts about it, Mum, then maybe...
0:03:42 > 0:03:43WHAT'S THAT, JAKE?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- You're really loving this, aren't you?- Oh, yes.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Because a hangover is nature's way of deterring binge drinking...
0:03:50 > 0:03:52still, at least you weren't sick.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Were you sick?
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Only outside.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Where outside?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00- It was in a bin. - You'll have to clear that up.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Not our dustbin. Next door's.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Not the Pattersons'?
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Ohh. I suppose we'll have to tell them.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11But then again, they don't know it was him. And we are leaving the country.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13It's not so bad this time of year. It'll freeze.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16What were you drinking, anyway?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Brandy is the worst for hangovers.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21What?
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Well, Maisie had some at Tanya's sleepover.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26What? Where did she get it?
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Tanya's mum's glass, when she fell asleep in the living room.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Tanya says that she often sleeps on the living room floor,
0:04:33 > 0:04:37because it's good for her back, but we put out her cigarette for her.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Was her Dad there?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42No. But he rang up to tell Tanya that he loved her
0:04:42 > 0:04:47and then she put him on speakerphone and he started crying,
0:04:47 > 0:04:48all gulpy, like...
0:04:48 > 0:04:50SHE MIMICS SOBBING
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- Ow!- Is that tooth playing up again?
0:04:52 > 0:04:53No, it's fine.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- There's one thing on this schedule. - Ben!
0:04:58 > 0:05:04"1.45 - hand house keys over to Jane". What do we do when she's late?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06It'll be fine. I told her 12.30.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Don't make that face, you agreed it made sense to have a house-sitter.
0:05:10 > 0:05:15Remember when we came back from Cornwall and there was a dead squirrel in the extractor fan?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- It was a terrible mess. - Well, it was when we turned it on.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21It's just that Jane is so...flaky.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26She can't be TOTALLY flaky. I mean, she's assistant manager of something
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- at that bank that she works for. - Sue, it's the Bank of Ireland.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Well, I'm sure the euro would have collapsed without her!
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- Are you taking any of the kids to see your dad?- Um...
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Not sure.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Do you know, I think I might give this floor a quick mop.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49But you haven't got... Karen, can you stop filming us?
0:05:49 > 0:05:53Take all your presents upstairs, and don't forget the socks Auntie Penny gave you.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Why send me socks when I don't even like socks?
0:05:56 > 0:06:00She doesn't know about your deep hatred of knitted footwear.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03- Someone should tell her. - Well, that'd be unkind.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Well, you're unkind!
0:06:05 > 0:06:09You make me send lots and lots of thank you cards, saying,
0:06:09 > 0:06:14"Dear Auntie Penny, I love your socks." When I don't.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Poor Aunt Penny has to spend all year knitting socks
0:06:18 > 0:06:22and then they just end up as sleeping bags for hamsters.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Could you just...- I don't want to go to the Canary Islands.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26Ben, stop doing that.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Someone should tell her - it's simple. Chocolate or money.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37The Canaries sounds boring.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42Well, the one we're going to is basically a four-mile-high volcano sticking out of the sea.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Will there be lava spewing from the top?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Well, there could be.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50- If we're lucky, it could erupt while we're there!- Fingers crossed.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51Shall I get in the car now?
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Not yet.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56It's like having a Labrador, isn't it?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Come on, everyone! We're behind schedule already!
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Uh, I think I can see a hole at the back.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20We can't have her in agony all week.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Go away. That's not helpful.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24There could be something metal stuck in there.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29- Might be something metal stuck in you if you...- I think I've found a Roman spear in the garden.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32It's a round metal pole and it's really long and I can't find the ends.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35How are we going to find a dentist on Christmas Day?
0:07:35 > 0:07:36I don't NEED a dentist!
0:07:36 > 0:07:40I'll have a look. There must be emergency dentists
0:07:40 > 0:07:43for all those seasonal walnut shell and toffee-related inj...
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Oh, my God, it's the mains water pipe. Ben! Stop!
0:07:46 > 0:07:48What's going on?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Ben's attacking the mains water pipe with a pickaxe.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Oh. Can't find the Alka-Seltzer.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56No more digging up the garden, OK?
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Go and read a book, or... meditate, or something.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Right... Emergency dentists.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09So you've mopped the floor, cleaned out the fridge
0:08:09 > 0:08:12and scrubbed the oven, all on Christmas Day...
0:08:12 > 0:08:16- Yeah, I don't want to come back to it. - ..when you have a tight schedule...
0:08:16 > 0:08:17Yep, it'll be fine.
0:08:17 > 0:08:22..that says you should be visiting your dad...well, right now.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- I'll go when I've finished this. - Would you like me to go?
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Yes, would you?
0:08:26 > 0:08:29I know I must seem horrible, but...
0:08:29 > 0:08:32- Is it because of what happened on Tuesday?- Yeah.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35He thought I was the lady who brings round the magazines.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39"I don't suppose you've got a copy of Health And Efficiency?" he said.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41That's the first time he hasn't recognised me.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44But in the end, he did recognise you.
0:08:44 > 0:08:49Yeah, once I told him... I was me, he was fine, mostly.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Ben, what are you doing?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Me and Ibrahim have decided to become celebrities.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58And I'm practising to break the Guinness World Record
0:08:58 > 0:09:02of the record of the most carrots chopped up in one minute.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06You might break the record for most fingers chopped off in 30 seconds.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Put that down!
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Did you know Prenamya Menaria of India has got 25 fingers and toes,
0:09:13 > 0:09:17so if there was a finger and toe chopping-off competition, he'd win.
0:09:17 > 0:09:21What did people do, like, people with extra fingers and toes,
0:09:21 > 0:09:24what did they do before the Guinness World Records book came out?
0:09:24 > 0:09:25They got burnt.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27PHONE BEEPS
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Might be the hospital.
0:09:29 > 0:09:34No, Jane. "Back with Jason. Best Christmas pressie ever."
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Which boyfriend's Jason? Is he the bi-polar physicist,
0:09:38 > 0:09:40the 19-year-old tattoo artist,
0:09:40 > 0:09:43or the married Serbian war criminal?
0:09:43 > 0:09:46He wasn't a war criminal. The European Court Of Justice made a mistake.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50- So which one's Jason?- He's the one who actually HAS been to prison.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Maggie told me.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Theft or fraud or something. Don't know if Jane knows.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00Her love life, it's like one long identity parade.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Hang on, what if he comes to visit when she's staying?
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- Well...- Was it theft or fraud? We need to know whether to hide your jewellery or the bank statements.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11I'm not too sure. Maggie told me on the tube, it was chaos.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14But if it's bothering you, I can give her a ring.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16This one is so doable.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Eight snails stuck to the face for ten seconds...
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- I can stick lettuce up my nose. - This isn't the route to celebrity.
0:10:24 > 0:10:30No-one has ever heard of the man who lifted 160 pounds with his ears.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32What? You mean Zafar Gill of Pakistan?
0:10:32 > 0:10:36No-one apart from 11-year-old boys and men who still live with their mothers.
0:10:36 > 0:10:41Done it, booked a dental appointment online, on the computer, without the aid of a child.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Mind, it is in 20 minutes, so we'll have to motor.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46If I trained up my burping muscles,
0:10:46 > 0:10:50I could do the world's loudest burp and I could go on Britain's Got Talent.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- Why do you want to be famous, just for the sake of it?- Because you can do cool stuff, like...
0:10:54 > 0:10:57go to the front of queues, or meet Katy Perry, or...
0:10:57 > 0:11:00- Where have you...? - Or have Hooker Nights of Shame,
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- which sound fun. Not sure what they are.- Hooker nights...?
0:11:03 > 0:11:07And go to the Priory Hotel. It must be really good, all the celebs go there...
0:11:07 > 0:11:12- Shall I tell you what a celebrity's life is really like?- Play football in Wembley even if you're crap.
0:11:12 > 0:11:18- You get famous, you lose all your friends...- You always have TV crews following you around.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22So, if you lose your PE kit then you can just look at the telly and see where you left it.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25- Karen! Get your shoes on! - You become an alcoholic,
0:11:25 > 0:11:28you get caught on camera punching an amputee,
0:11:28 > 0:11:35and have to revive your career going on I'm A Celebrity and eating 17 kangaroo testicles.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Does that sound like fun to you?
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Well...yeah.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Hi there.- I'm here to see the drilling.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Right.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Oh, Hi. We've got an appointment for my daughter, Karen Brockman.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54Ah, excellent. Hello, sweetie. What's your name?
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Well, it's Karen Brockman. We've got an appointment at 10.15.
0:11:58 > 0:12:03- It's just we're a bit up against it, we've got to be at the airport. - Oh, are you going anywhere nice?
0:12:03 > 0:12:08- Well, the Canaries, but like I say we are in a bit of a rush.- Well, we just need to do some paperwork.
0:12:08 > 0:12:13The dentist hit one of my nerves once with an injection and it was so cool, I couldn't feel my nose.
0:12:13 > 0:12:18- Ben, there's a waiting room through there.- But I can watch the drilling, can't I?- No.- Ohh!
0:12:19 > 0:12:21So, can we, can we...?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Just a sec.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Where do you put the money in this thing?
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Karen Brockman, wasn't it?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- Mm-hm.- C...A...
0:12:44 > 0:12:45No, it's K, A.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50K... A...
0:12:50 > 0:12:52R... E...N...
0:12:54 > 0:12:59Now, remember, however Grandad seems, don't look worried.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01What, like that?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04It'll be fine, Dad.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Merry Christmas, Grandad!
0:13:09 > 0:13:10Hi, Frank.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Hey!
0:13:12 > 0:13:14# Here we are again
0:13:14 > 0:13:16# Happy as can be
0:13:16 > 0:13:20# All good pals and jolly good company. #
0:13:21 > 0:13:23How...
0:13:23 > 0:13:26# Never mind the weather Never mind the rain... #
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Oh look, monkeys.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33I love monkeys, especially when they're drinking tea.
0:13:33 > 0:13:38Right, so, are they treating you well in here?
0:13:38 > 0:13:41What, this place? Oh, yeah. It's lovely, this place...
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Actually, what is this place?
0:13:45 > 0:13:49Four... T... S... Is that 4TS?
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Or 40...S?
0:13:51 > 0:13:534TS.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Like a postcode.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Oh, right... 4TS.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59"Nature of emergency".
0:13:59 > 0:14:04I think I'm going to put down "toothache".
0:14:05 > 0:14:07T, double O...
0:14:07 > 0:14:10No, no, I'm fine with that one, thank you.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Are you here about your teeth?
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Er, yes...
0:14:20 > 0:14:24You look nervous. Are you nervous?
0:14:24 > 0:14:27I do get a bit nervous in dentists.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31You should ask the dentist to give you gas. Gas is brilliant!
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Once I had tooth that had, like, impacted into my jaw,
0:14:34 > 0:14:39the dentist gave me gas, and I woke up and...it was weird.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41I couldn't, like, feel anything
0:14:41 > 0:14:45and the dentist had these huge pliers on my teeth,
0:14:45 > 0:14:49and he had his foot stuck right on my chest and his face was red.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53And he was, like, trying to rip the tooth out, and he screamed,
0:14:53 > 0:14:58"Get out of there, you B-A-S-T-A-R-D!" and other swears.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02But it was brilliant, because I could watch all of this and I couldn't feel a thing.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05And then later, after it was finished,
0:15:05 > 0:15:09I had this huge foot-shape bruise right on my chest.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13So, what are you here for?
0:15:13 > 0:15:16I...have a tooth impacted in my jaw.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Oh.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28Sue sends her love.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Eh?
0:15:30 > 0:15:31Sue...
0:15:31 > 0:15:32sends her love.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Oh...nice.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40She'd be here herself, but she had to take Karen to the dentist.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42# You'll wonder where the yellow went
0:15:42 > 0:15:45# When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
0:15:45 > 0:15:46# Pa Pa Pepsodent
0:15:46 > 0:15:47# Pa Pa Pepsodent. #
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Jake, why don't you give Grandad his present?
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I'm just going to have a quick word with one of the doctors.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57OK... Here it is, Grandad.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Oh, lovely.
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Is it kippers?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Well, is it kippers?
0:16:08 > 0:16:09No, Grandad, it's not kippers.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Shame.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Excuse me.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Excuse me?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Excuse me.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Excuse me?
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Oh, hello there. Can I help?
0:16:25 > 0:16:29I'm Mr Morrison's son-in-law... Room 17.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Oh, yes... Is there a problem?
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Yes, there is, actually.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35This says "Do Not Resuscitate".
0:16:35 > 0:16:40Now, he clearly isn't in any fit mental condition to have consented to that,
0:16:40 > 0:16:43his family certainly didn't consent to that,
0:16:43 > 0:16:45so can you explain that? Can you?
0:16:47 > 0:16:48Yes...
0:16:48 > 0:16:49I can...
0:16:51 > 0:16:53These aren't his notes.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58- What?- It's the Christmas shift, all the nurses are agency temps,
0:16:58 > 0:17:02y'know, lovely girls, but barely any English.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06If you want to make an official complaint, I can page the administrator.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07No, no, it's OK.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10I'll find his proper notes now.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Right... How's he doing?
0:17:13 > 0:17:18It's just that we're supposed to go away, for a week, today,
0:17:18 > 0:17:23- and my wife, his daughter, is a bit worried about whether we should go away.- Oh, I see.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Well, erm, it's a persistent infection,
0:17:26 > 0:17:29but you know, he's certainly not in any danger.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30Right.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32- Although that could change.- Right.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34You can never be totally certain.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37You've put him in his own room, is there any significance in that?
0:17:37 > 0:17:40No, that's just cos of the singing.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43And sometimes they even have to saw a bit of the jaw off.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Ben! Sorry, has he been a bit...
0:17:45 > 0:17:49He certainly has a lot of stories about his teeth.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53- God, not the exploding abscess? - Oh, yeah! Now that really was pus-y.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Don't tell him!- OK, you two... up you come.- Can I come?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58No! And no more dental stories.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07So, what do you think's going to happen about North Korea?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11So, what you're saying is that if we go away, he will probably be fine.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15Probably, yes, but, as I said, I can't make any promises.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16- But probably.- Yes.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19How probably? 95% probably?
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- 90? 85%?- I really couldn't quantify it like...- 80?
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- Look...- If you were a betting woman.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Mr Brockman, this white coat doesn't give me magic powers.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30It's your call.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Now, if you'll excuse me,
0:18:32 > 0:18:35I have to go and bollock the nursing staff about mixing up these notes.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Yeah, of course.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42You don't happen to speak Malay, do you?
0:18:42 > 0:18:46So if you're a proper dentist, how come you're working on Christmas Day?
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Because I don't mind, I'm not a Christian.
0:18:50 > 0:18:51I don't celebrate Christmas.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Well, we're not Christians,
0:18:53 > 0:18:56but we still celebrate Christmas and Easter.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58It would be silly to miss out on the holidays.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Well...
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Can you feel that?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04# Pop 'em on your platey
0:19:04 > 0:19:06# They're Drings... #
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Yeah, wise words - "Pop 'em on your platey".
0:19:10 > 0:19:11Have you got a woman?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Um, actually yes, Grandad, I do have a girlfriend...
0:19:16 > 0:19:17Oh, God.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Word of advice...don't get old.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26It's a pain in the arse.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31No... OK, I won't, Grandad.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Oh, look! There's the Queen, doing her Christmas thing.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37No, Grandad, that's John Simpson.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Why's she wearing a flak jacket?
0:19:40 > 0:19:43So, are you a proper dentist?
0:19:43 > 0:19:48Yes, like lots of newly-qualified dentists, I currently provide cover for other dental practices.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Just to reassure you,
0:19:51 > 0:19:54I came third in my year.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56- Third?- Yep.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Only third?
0:20:00 > 0:20:04So, you busy this Christmas?
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Not really. My wife died this year.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Oh.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10So, do you get a bit lonely?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Well, a little, yes.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17A boy in our class felt really lonely. Do you know what he did?
0:20:17 > 0:20:20He posted a party at his house on Facebook,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22and a thousand people turned up!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24I'm not sure that would be right for me!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26It wasn't right for him.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28His mum is still making him pay for the carpet.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30So, do you have your certificate?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Are you on Facebook? - No, no. Do you recommend that?
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Depends.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43If you like, I could ask all of my friends to be your friends?
0:20:43 > 0:20:48Oh, thank you, that's very kind, but I think it would probably lead to a police investigation.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51- PHONE RINGS - Hiya.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54We're running late, how about you? How's Dad?
0:20:54 > 0:20:58He's, um, he's singing the theme from...
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Bonanza!
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Right, OK, and what does the doctor say?
0:21:02 > 0:21:03Is it OK for us to leave him?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Erm...
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Looking good, yeah, good.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14It's upsetting when someone dies.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Yes.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Yes, it is.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22My stick insect died, and I used to talk to it even though it wasn't there.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Oh, that's funny, because I do that with my wife.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Did you wish her a Merry Christmas this morning?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30No, no, I didn't...
0:21:30 > 0:21:34but you know, when I get home, I think I will.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Did you say Merry Christmas to your stick insect?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38No, it's a stick insect.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40And it died ages ago.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42I don't think much about it any more.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44No, no. I don't suppose so.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47I suppose things get less painful with time.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Not verucas.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Verucas? Ben, I'm sorry, has he been...
0:21:54 > 0:21:56No, no. He's been fine. In fact, he's been great.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Oh, right!
0:21:58 > 0:22:02I was very nervous, but he's completely taken my mind off it.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04I'm ready to face the dentist now.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07I wouldn't. He's not very good. He only gets to work at Christmas.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Actually, look, Frank, we don't want to wear you out, so we...
0:22:17 > 0:22:19we're going to head off now.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Oh, oh, don't go, please.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Well, it's just that...
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Oh, oh, no, please. This place is so quiet.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36# Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
0:22:36 > 0:22:39# A kiddley divey...# Come on!
0:22:39 > 0:22:43# Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
0:22:43 > 0:22:47# A kiddley divey to Wouldn't you... #
0:22:47 > 0:22:50We are really behind schedule now.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54Yeah, but Grandad did enjoy his sing-along.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57I know, but we should never have let him start on Ten Green Bottles.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01I knew he'd keep on forgetting how many bottles were still on the wall.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04We must have sung 30 verses.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Oh, Jesus.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07What?
0:23:09 > 0:23:12What do I tell your mum when she asks about that hospital?
0:23:14 > 0:23:19Do I tell her about "Do Not Resuscitate", and the wrong notes, and the...
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Mum doesn't need to know any of that.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24She'll just worry and probably cancel the holiday. And she needs a break.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Yeah...
0:23:26 > 0:23:28And WE need a break... from Mum needing a break.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Hiya! I'm a bit early.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Sorry, Jane, we're a bit behind. You been here long?
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Merry Christmas.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Merry Christmas.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39Thanks for this, Pete.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45Christmas at my place, with Alexa at her Dad's, would have been a bit, you know.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Well, it's good to have someone looking after the house.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Sue's done a list of useful numbers, our contact address,
0:23:51 > 0:23:54electricians, Dave the plumber, in case you need them.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58- I should be all right. I think I've learnt my lesson now.- Sorry?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I left the bath running at my last place.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Twice in three weeks. How daffy am I?
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Brought down the whole kitchen ceiling.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11The bath came right through...took out the oven! Bang! Total carnage.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Did Sue not mention it?
0:24:14 > 0:24:16No, no, she didn't.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21Erm, if a fuse goes, the box is in here.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25I'm no good with electrics, I'll let Jason deal with that.
0:24:25 > 0:24:26Jason?
0:24:26 > 0:24:30Yes, we're back together again. How brilliant is that?
0:24:31 > 0:24:36Very brilliant. So, would... would Jason be staying here?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Yeah!
0:24:39 > 0:24:40That's not a problem, is it?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45The thing is, Jane, I'm just not sure that
0:24:45 > 0:24:49I am totally comfortable...
0:24:49 > 0:24:52with someone staying here...
0:24:52 > 0:24:54who has a...
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Who has a what?
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Ben, you cannot take your metal detector on the plane.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04But it could help us look for the bombs!
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Right, both upstairs, check your backpacks.
0:25:07 > 0:25:08Hi, Jane! Merry Christmas!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I'm sorry we're a bit...
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Is there a problem?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19I was just explaining to Jane that we wouldn't be totally comfortable
0:25:19 > 0:25:22with Jason,
0:25:22 > 0:25:24staying here, with her.
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Jason?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Sorry. Am I being really thick? Why would you feel uncomfortable?
0:25:28 > 0:25:32Well, y'know, on account of his, erm...
0:25:33 > 0:25:35..having done time in prison.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37What?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Right, well, that answers that one.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43I'm sorry, Jane, we weren't sure if you knew, but...
0:25:44 > 0:25:45(It's me.)
0:25:45 > 0:25:49Why can I only pick crap men?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Why don't I just go the whole hog
0:25:51 > 0:25:55and start dating Tiger Woods, Berlusconi and Charlie Sheen?
0:25:57 > 0:25:58(It's me, isn't it?)
0:25:59 > 0:26:02I'm the problem, aren't I?
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Well...
0:26:03 > 0:26:05No!
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Of course you're not! You're just... Karen, please don't film this...
0:26:08 > 0:26:12you're just unlucky.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14And it's not your fault.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16He-he could be a reformed...
0:26:16 > 0:26:19criminal. He could've turned over a whole new leaf.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Then why didn't he tell me?
0:26:23 > 0:26:25You go. Go on.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28You'll miss your plane.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32Look, why don't you make yourself comfortable in the living room?
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Yeah... All right.
0:26:42 > 0:26:47- OK, we're really late now. - We've got to shift.- What's for lunch? - Lunch? Oh, my God.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Look, we're going to have to eat lunch in the car.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53You fill this bag up with some food and, er, we better go and load the car up.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56So, Dad wasn't too bad?
0:26:56 > 0:26:59- No, he's, he's...good. - And what about the hospital?
0:26:59 > 0:27:03- Cos I've heard horror stories about that place.- Well, it was...
0:27:03 > 0:27:08- It was what?- Fine. It was fine, Mum, y'know. It was very clean, and...
0:27:08 > 0:27:12jolly, and...he's got his own room.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14With a telly.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16With monkeys on it.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18It's, er... it's nice.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21You're putting on a front, aren't you?
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- No. No!- No!
0:27:23 > 0:27:25We wouldn't put on a...
0:27:25 > 0:27:27- We're not.- ..front.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Maybe we shouldn't go away.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33Especially if I'm going to worry all week that we shouldn't have gone.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36But then we'll lose the money. Oh, I don't know! Should we go?!
0:27:36 > 0:27:40Sue, it's your call. Only you can decide.
0:27:40 > 0:27:41I don't WANT to decide!
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Just once, I want someone to decide FOR me!
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Well, then I say we go.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52So is that a decision?
0:27:52 > 0:27:53Well, seems like it.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57- Come on then, people, let's go! - All right, I'll get the paperwork.
0:28:02 > 0:28:03He-llo?
0:28:05 > 0:28:07- Hello.- Oh, hi, I'm Jason.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Oh, er, hello.
0:28:11 > 0:28:12Is Jane here?
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Yeah. She's, erm, she's in there.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Crying.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Hey...what's the matter, babe?
0:28:23 > 0:28:25- Oh, don't you "babe" me! You liar! - Here we go.
0:28:25 > 0:28:30Travel insurance, travel insurance. Well, it was here...
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Prison?! What do you mean, prison?! >
0:28:32 > 0:28:35Oh, you're trying to deny it now. >
0:28:35 > 0:28:37Do you think we should...?
0:28:37 > 0:28:41No, everybody just... let them sort it out.
0:28:41 > 0:28:46- Is he staying here, then?- No... Actually, Jesus, I don't know that.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48What if she still wants him to stay here?
0:28:48 > 0:28:50What do we do then?
0:28:50 > 0:28:53We can't let him...can he stay? We can't let him stay here!
0:28:53 > 0:28:54And I hate you, you bitch! >
0:28:54 > 0:28:56DOOR SLAMS
0:28:58 > 0:29:00I don't think he's staying.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Are you all right, Jane?
0:29:09 > 0:29:13Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18- Do you want a cup of tea, or... - No, thanks.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24I'm sorry we had to...
0:29:24 > 0:29:28No, it's fine. You head off, you'll be late.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32OK, thanks.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Pete, have you packed the suncream?
0:29:36 > 0:29:37Would you like some advice?
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Not really, Karen, thanks.
0:29:42 > 0:29:44Next time you get a boyfriend,
0:29:44 > 0:29:47get him to fill out a questionnaire.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50A questionnaire?
0:29:50 > 0:29:51Yeah, like...
0:29:51 > 0:29:57"Have you been to prison? Do you have any diseases? Are you a good kisser?" That kind of thing.
0:29:57 > 0:30:01- Karen, this really isn't the right time...- Like, do you have any money?
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Where do you keep it?
0:30:03 > 0:30:04OK, stuff for the plane...
0:30:04 > 0:30:09- Travel sickness pills for Karen. Cough mixture for Ben. - Has he got a cough?
0:30:09 > 0:30:12No. It's the drowsy one.
0:30:12 > 0:30:13Imodium...
0:30:13 > 0:30:16Do you have a hairy back, do you have a hairy front?
0:30:16 > 0:30:18Is there any madness in your family?
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Come on, kids. Wagons roll!
0:30:20 > 0:30:24Passports, money, look at this...
0:30:24 > 0:30:26it's an e-ticket.
0:30:26 > 0:30:31That's not a proper ticket, is it? It's just another piece of paper with words on, like any other...
0:30:31 > 0:30:34Hang on, that's the electricity bill. Jesus, where have I put the...
0:30:34 > 0:30:37I put the tickets in here, Jesus!
0:30:37 > 0:30:39- Here.- Oh, thank...
0:30:39 > 0:30:42- PHONE RINGS - Oh, don't answer that, we've got to get a shift on.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44All right, it's just Maggie. Hi, Maggie.
0:30:44 > 0:30:45You rang me?
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Oh, no, it's fine.
0:30:47 > 0:30:51We just erm, we just had a bit of a situation, and I just needed some information
0:30:51 > 0:30:54about Jane's boyfriend and his prison sentence
0:30:54 > 0:30:58- but it's fine, because it looks like Jason's history.- You mean Jeremy.
0:30:58 > 0:30:59Sorry?
0:30:59 > 0:31:04You mean Jeremy, her last boyfriend, he's the one who went to prison.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06Nasty piece of work, not like Jason,
0:31:06 > 0:31:08'he seems a bit of a sweetie, have you met him?
0:31:09 > 0:31:11'Sue?
0:31:11 > 0:31:14'Sue, you still there. Sue?'
0:31:18 > 0:31:20I've got the wrong boyfriend.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24Jason didn't go to prison.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Oh, for God's sake!
0:31:26 > 0:31:27(What have we done?)
0:31:29 > 0:31:32"We"? It... You were the one who got it wrong!
0:31:32 > 0:31:33You're the one who dived in!
0:31:33 > 0:31:34I did not dive in!
0:31:34 > 0:31:37You unilaterally decided to broach it with her!
0:31:37 > 0:31:40Based on information provided by you.
0:31:40 > 0:31:44Yes, but it was a very noisy station. That announcer at Earls Court shouts down the...
0:31:44 > 0:31:49Sue, there are some things that you can't blame on London Transport, it's...
0:31:49 > 0:31:51Excuse me. Are we going or not? It's chaos in the car.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55Ben just grabbed Karen's camera and shoved it down his pants and Karen punched him.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58OK, we'll be out in a minute.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01Well, you've got to tell her.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04Yeah, absolutely, you're right.
0:32:04 > 0:32:10Although it's going to be one hell of a difficult conversation.
0:32:10 > 0:32:11Yes.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13Probably quite a long one.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15Yeah.
0:32:17 > 0:32:22- I'll ring her from the car. - I think that would probably be kinder.- Bye, Jane!- Bye, Jane!
0:32:23 > 0:32:24Bye...
0:32:32 > 0:32:35No, Karen, I don't want to see the footage Ben took inside his pants.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Why did you come this way?
0:32:37 > 0:32:39Because it's a short cut.
0:32:39 > 0:32:43Well, clearly not. We should be checking in now!
0:32:43 > 0:32:45CAR HORNS BEEP
0:32:45 > 0:32:51How can there be a traffic jam on Christmas frigging Day?!
0:32:51 > 0:32:53I mean, who ARE all these people?
0:32:53 > 0:32:56Why are they all moving around pointlessly?
0:32:56 > 0:33:00They should be at home, gorging on brazil nuts, or...
0:33:00 > 0:33:05listening to the Queen wittering on about what a brilliant year she's had spending our taxes.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08Sue, you're going to have to call her.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11- Call who?- I'll call her from the airport.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14- You can't keep putting it off, call her now.- Call who?
0:33:14 > 0:33:17Jane, I'm calling Jane, Karen.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20There's been a bit of a misunderstanding.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22- I'm hungry.- Ben's made sandwiches.
0:33:24 > 0:33:29Er, OK, I could do you a treacle and mayonnaise sandwich
0:33:29 > 0:33:32or a chocolate and Stilton bap.
0:33:32 > 0:33:33One of each.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35Oh, hi, Jane...
0:33:35 > 0:33:40Yeah, yeah, we're fine, we're just stuck in a bit of traffic...
0:33:40 > 0:33:41Yeah.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44Listen, Jane,
0:33:44 > 0:33:49I think that there may have been a bit of a crossed wire earlier,
0:33:49 > 0:33:53because when we were talking about Jason having been to prison for the...
0:33:54 > 0:33:55Yeah...
0:33:55 > 0:33:59Erm, well...as luck would have it,
0:33:59 > 0:34:01that turns out not to be the case.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05Yeah, it's not true!
0:34:05 > 0:34:09No, I'm really sorry, but I think that we...
0:34:11 > 0:34:15Well, you're upset, and that's understandable...
0:34:15 > 0:34:19and I'm upset, and Pete's upset as well, we're both very upset...
0:34:19 > 0:34:23No, obviously, we're not as upset as you are, that...
0:34:23 > 0:34:25that would be...hard.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27I'm just going to see what the hold-up is.
0:34:30 > 0:34:35Well, I think likening us to Hitler is a little harsh.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39< Oh, come on. Move it!
0:34:39 > 0:34:41MEN SHOUT
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Move it!
0:34:52 > 0:34:56< I'll rip your head off and stick it up your arse!
0:34:59 > 0:35:05You see, I thought Maggie said JASON had gone to prison for theft
0:35:05 > 0:35:10but, in actual fact, she was talking about JEREMY, your last boyfriend.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15Oh, you didn't know that.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17Right.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19Well, yes, yes,
0:35:19 > 0:35:22that probably does explain about your jewellery.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23Anyway,
0:35:23 > 0:35:27the good news is your current boyfriend hasn't been to prison.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31Yes, I am trying to make you feel better...
0:35:31 > 0:35:33OK, yes, I'll stop.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37What's happening?
0:35:37 > 0:35:40Just two Father Christmases trying to beat the crap out of each other.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44So, er, how did Jane take it?
0:35:44 > 0:35:45Not very well.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48One of us needs to call Jason.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50- Well, I'm driving.- No, you're not.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Yes, I am.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54Look, it's moving!
0:35:57 > 0:36:02Well, once again, all I can say is I'm very, very...
0:36:06 > 0:36:08How did Jason take it?
0:36:08 > 0:36:10I think we're going to need a lawyer.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12- Why, is he getting a lawyer? - He is a lawyer.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14Oh, for f...
0:36:14 > 0:36:17Dad nearly said the F word, everybody!
0:36:17 > 0:36:20Still...we've made it in time, see!
0:36:20 > 0:36:24Against all the odds. Tenerife, here we come!
0:36:24 > 0:36:26- Yes, at last!- Finally!
0:36:26 > 0:36:28Oh, at last! I feel sick...
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Spectacular night.
0:36:36 > 0:36:37Who gives a toss?
0:36:37 > 0:36:40You embarrassed me at the airport... all those swears.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Well, Daddy was just upset.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45I mean, we so nearly got to the airport on time.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47It was just a bit of bad luck.
0:36:47 > 0:36:51Cows in the Heathrow tunnel. Can someone tell me how that happened?
0:36:51 > 0:36:55Well, I'm disappointed as well. It took me three days to book those tickets online.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57Is Jane still here?
0:36:57 > 0:36:59The car's here.
0:36:59 > 0:37:01Still, at least she hasn't torched the house.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03Oh, is that Jason at the window?
0:37:03 > 0:37:05Oh, God, no.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Well, we've got to face them some time.
0:37:09 > 0:37:10Yeah, I know.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18OK, kids, you may want to put your iPods back on.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21- There's going to be a lot of shouting.- Yep.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Still, look on the bright side,
0:37:23 > 0:37:26at least I don't have to worry about being so far away from Dad.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Yeah.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30In fact, I think I'll just...
0:37:30 > 0:37:32go and wish him Merry Christmas.
0:37:33 > 0:37:34- Me too!- And me!
0:37:34 > 0:37:35Where are you...?
0:37:37 > 0:37:40Come on, you're just putting off the...
0:37:41 > 0:37:43Oh, sod it.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51# Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag
0:37:51 > 0:37:55- # And smile, smile, smile - Way!
0:37:55 > 0:38:01- # While you've a Lucifer to light your fag... # - Where am I going...?
0:38:01 > 0:38:04# Smile, boys, that's the style
0:38:04 > 0:38:07# La la la la la-la... #
0:38:07 > 0:38:10Ben...stop it! # What's the use of worrying?
0:38:10 > 0:38:14# It never was worthwhile
0:38:14 > 0:38:15# So!
0:38:15 > 0:38:20# Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag
0:38:20 > 0:38:26# And smile, smile, smile! #
0:38:26 > 0:38:29Oh, what's going on?
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:38:41 > 0:38:43E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk