0:00:20 > 0:00:23APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Thank you for coming.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27How lovely. Ah.
0:00:31 > 0:00:36Hello and welcome to Outtake TV, the show that takes you behind the scenes of some of our best-loved
0:00:36 > 0:00:43TV productions, then trips over a cable, pulls down a curtain and spills hot tea on Adrian Chiles.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46And that alone has got to be worth the licence fee, hasn't it?
0:00:46 > 0:00:50If you think hot tea's dangerous, watch out for the toast.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54How many pregnant women do you know that still buy tampons?
0:00:54 > 0:00:57What are you going to do?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Oh, Shirl.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01I'm going to show Phil.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04I think he's got a right to know that his fiancee's a...
0:01:05 > 0:01:08SHE CHOKES
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Oh, by the way,
0:01:17 > 0:01:20I like your hair like that.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23It really suits your...boyish face.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27BEEP!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- What did you do? - I walked into the BEEP door.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Don't suppose you've got a spare one of them, have you?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Go on - have it.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44I can't be done with that photo.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47I'll have to have another fag just to get over it.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Horrible little, er, shrivelled up, nasty little thing, isn't it?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Like this lighter. With the wind blowing.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03- Could you be any more insensitive? - I'm just saying, all right?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Us legal taxpayers, we need protecting in case...
0:02:06 > 0:02:08unstable women...
0:02:08 > 0:02:11come up with long-winded lines that I can't remember.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15He said he'd be alone.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20You can't face it?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Don't say I blame you.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Standing on the sidelines.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Japs... Japs?!
0:02:28 > 0:02:29The Germans...
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- All I want is a second chance. - You really know how to charm a girl(!)
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- What do I have to do?- Get lost.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- Not until you give me another chance. - Is this guy bothering you?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Look, mate, this is a private thing between me and her.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46- I wasn't talking to you. Is he? - Um...
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Sorry! Sorry.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54I just saw her look at my face and laugh!
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Of course she's not laughing at you!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04She's laughing because she's seen next week's script, where you get
0:03:04 > 0:03:07hit by a bus and she gets to snog the better-looking one.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10And I should probably warn you there's a bit of tongue action
0:03:10 > 0:03:14coming up in this next clip from a Canadian news channel.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18If you can open your heart and your home, go to the Surrey SPCA, please.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21And really, I was telling a lie - this dog is crazy.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Absolutely crazy.- He's 11 months old.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24He's a puppy. He's full of beans.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Now, he's been tattooed.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28He's been tattooed,
0:03:28 > 0:03:30but he hasn't been neutered yet.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- We thought he was...- I think he was.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Why would they tattoo him and not neuter him?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36You're right. Richard was right.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38He is tattooed. He's just...
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Yes, they're not there. They're gone.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I just felt them. Get off!
0:03:42 > 0:03:44This is crazy.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48Now, this is Ginger. Hi, Ginger.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Ginger just loves people.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52I love Ginger!
0:03:52 > 0:03:55I love you, Ginger.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58You don't have any make-up left!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00OK, OK, OK...
0:04:00 > 0:04:03OK, Ginger, off. That's good. Gee.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Anyway, these two dogs are absolutely fabulous.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09They need a wee bit of training.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Yeah, really? You think?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Why do we do this?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15And is she spayed, because...?
0:04:15 > 0:04:17She's spayed. Ginger...
0:04:17 > 0:04:19It looks like she just had babies.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Yeah, no, her nipples... No, she's spayed.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- You can see the stitches.- OK. - This... Ouch!
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Be nice. Stop that.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Do you guys want some cheese? Do you want some cheese?
0:04:31 > 0:04:34So Surrey SPCA is overrun with dogs.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36And they're all... Stop nipping!
0:04:36 > 0:04:39That's so not good. Sit down nicely.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44OK, down, Ginger, down.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47Stop it!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I used to have a dog like the licky one.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04And a girlfriend like the bitey one.
0:05:04 > 0:05:09It was after that episode that presenters reconsidered their use of Eau de Hamburger.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11It goes without saying...
0:05:13 > 0:05:16It goes without saying that it isn't always one-way traffic.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Sometimes it's the animals that feel degraded.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24What's so special about these little piglets, then?
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Well, the special thing about the piglets is that they're small,
0:05:28 > 0:05:29they each have their own character,
0:05:29 > 0:05:32every time we breed, we get different colours from them,
0:05:32 > 0:05:36and these colours are coming out through the old English breeds that are in them already.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40This one's showing more of the Tamworth. Sometimes they come out very brown with a nice ridge on
0:05:40 > 0:05:44- the back, showing the Iron Age or wild boar that was in them. - Can I just start that again?
0:05:44 > 0:05:48- Sorry.- I'm just really worried about how you're...
0:05:48 > 0:05:49Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Sorry, sorry, OK.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54It'll be access all areas.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58The winners in the main ring, the livestock, arts and crafts.
0:05:58 > 0:05:59We'll show you all the highlights.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04Catch up with us on Wales Today from Monday.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Are they? Oh dear!
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Stop it, lads. Behave yourself.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11You're on telly!
0:06:11 > 0:06:17And for any children watching, don't worry - animals often spend their time giving each other piggy backs.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Or they play hopscotch.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23It isn't easy with hooves.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Others spend their time misbehaving on telly.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30The farming unions say they don't want people to avoid the countryside.
0:06:30 > 0:06:36They just want us to be aware of the dangers that can be posed by cows and calves.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- MOOING - Thank you.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Now, Tiggywinkles, the animal welfare organisation,
0:06:43 > 0:06:46says it's an appalling idea that they should be kept as pets.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50The RSPCA said they're concerned that, you know, it's only experts
0:06:50 > 0:06:52that have the real skills needed.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55What's your reaction to that?
0:06:55 > 0:06:59He's gone for a jump there. Thank you. He's fine.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Over the years, the absolute bane of my life has been people complaining
0:07:03 > 0:07:06about peregrines pooing on the ground while they're talking.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Thank you! You just completely upstaged me.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17Charities like the RSPCA, virtually every business in the land,
0:07:17 > 0:07:21will all be affected by this new law that comes in at midnight tonight.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Working hours for millions will be improved.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Wage bills will also rise.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Such is the legal uncertainty, only the lawyers...
0:07:28 > 0:07:30DOG WHINES
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Sh! OK.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Um...
0:07:35 > 0:07:36DOG WHINES
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Charities like...
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Charities like the RSPCA and virtually every business...
0:07:45 > 0:07:47DOG WHINES
0:07:47 > 0:07:50will be affected by this law which comes into force at midnight tonight.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52The working hours of millions of...
0:07:52 > 0:07:54DOG BARKS
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Say when.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03BLEEP!
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Go on. Push off.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10Everybody really is on the same side. They just want to get the best price, and it's certainly
0:08:10 > 0:08:15going to take some negotiation and many years, really, to get this whole situation right.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Let's just hope dairy farmers can survive. Back to you in the studio.
0:08:19 > 0:08:25There will inevitably be concerns about this use and it's very...
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Sorry! I just...
0:08:28 > 0:08:30A ladybird flew straight into my mouth.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34- There's an Auntie's Bloomers tape. - Have you got that?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Your house is on fire and your children are...
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Ah, orphans.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51What I want to know is who the heck are Auntie's Bloomers?!
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Whoever you are, we've got your tape.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58I suppose one group of people you expect to expect the unexpected are journalists.
0:08:58 > 0:09:03They're always on the lookout for the next big scoop, and for Justin Roller on Newsnight, this was his.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07First one today.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Oh.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17God! Oh, my God!
0:09:23 > 0:09:25I can't believe it.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Can't believe it.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34What? What?
0:09:34 > 0:09:38- Again!- You want it again?!
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Play it again!
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Oh. God! Oh, my God.
0:09:54 > 0:10:00It was everywhere. In the cab, in his hair, in the stereo...
0:10:00 > 0:10:04In fact, the owner of the truck was furious, but Justin made it all OK again.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08He ran it through the carwash and bought him one of these.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Anyway, the point about that was he should have seen it coming.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15It was entirely predictable, just like this.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Boris, can you stop there for one sec?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Just stop there for one sec.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Can we have just Boris?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26So, guys, can we...
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Can we have one of you just passing some of that stuff? Would you mind?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- He's coming down here.- Ooh!- Ooh, no!
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Classic.
0:10:40 > 0:10:45The thing I love most about that clip is the sympathy of the photographers.
0:10:45 > 0:10:51"Classic." Now, James Caan is a successful entrepreneur
0:10:51 > 0:10:54and one of the dragons from the Dragons' Den, so he must be loaded.
0:10:54 > 0:11:00If you're a fan, like me, of very rich people doing very stupid things, enjoy this.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02That is amazing.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06In fact, I think it's so good, let me just have a quick look.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Did you get that on camera?
0:11:14 > 0:11:19The thing is, when you're that rich, you shouldn't be throwing drinks over yourself.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22You should be paying somebody else to do it.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26But being fabulously wealthy doesn't protect you, nor does being privileged.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30Nothing could possibly give either myself or my wife
0:11:30 > 0:11:35greater pleasure than to be here at York Station
0:11:35 > 0:11:37on this very special occasion
0:11:37 > 0:11:42of the naming of this new locomotive.
0:11:42 > 0:11:47I've had nothing but the greatest admiration
0:11:47 > 0:11:51for the team of people who for the last 19 years...
0:11:56 > 0:12:03Are you glad that you came here this year, rather than choosing to spend your week abroad?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06We have just been absolutely
0:12:06 > 0:12:07soaked by the tide coming in!
0:12:07 > 0:12:09It's coming in here so quickly.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11But Kevin, are you glad that you came here...?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15We're nearly at the end and I have to say that was absolutely fantastic. A great view of Vienna.
0:12:15 > 0:12:22And of course, I got the chance to follow in the footsteps of Orson Welles from the film The Third Man.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24And you can't say that every day. The other good news,
0:12:24 > 0:12:28is that because we're in the middle of the fairground here in Vienna, I'm going to...
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Hold on, he hasn't let us off!
0:12:32 > 0:12:34It's OK.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39What you're witnessing is, in effect, history being made, because never before in the country
0:12:39 > 0:12:43have so many troops exercised their freedom to march through a borough.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45And as you can see behind me... Oh...
0:12:47 > 0:12:53To be fair, there were loads of soldiers behind him - they were just in camouflage.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Nonetheless, it does pay to look behind you.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Half the time, what's going on in the background
0:12:58 > 0:13:00is more interesting than the foreground.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03So, in this next lot, don't look at the presenters.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Look at what's going on behind them.
0:13:05 > 0:13:10Well, the Liberal Democrats welcomed the scrapping of science tests, they say the Government should have gone
0:13:10 > 0:13:15further and reviewed testing, got rid of testing for all those subjects, and had more teacher
0:13:15 > 0:13:20assessment, and that this has moved us, though, closer to the system,
0:13:20 > 0:13:24the system in England closer to the system in Wales and Scotland.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28It's certainly doing that and it's aware that things,
0:13:28 > 0:13:31in a very small minority of areas in this country,
0:13:31 > 0:13:33have gone terribly wrong.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Leaders of the Catholic Church have marked the start of Christmas
0:13:36 > 0:13:39with calls for an end of conflict in the Middle East.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41..are his songs.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45I like all his songs, whether it's fast or slow. And the other thing
0:13:45 > 0:13:48I like from Elvis also is...
0:13:49 > 0:13:53Um... He's being what he is, because...
0:13:53 > 0:13:57Sometimes they go on flying, sometimes they don't, but that's not the purpose of the scheme.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00The purpose is to really give them a shot in the arm
0:14:00 > 0:14:02and get their lives going again,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05and it works 99 times out of 100. Absolutely superb.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Thank you.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09OK.
0:14:10 > 0:14:16He is still the most powerful man in the world and so Britain is still dealing with him,
0:14:16 > 0:14:20at the moment, for the next six months, and although all eyes,
0:14:20 > 0:14:24of course, are turning to who comes next, it's certainly a reminder of what he's done...
0:14:24 > 0:14:29The funny thing is, the woman with the mop is actually four points ahead in the opinion polls.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34Now for some Pointless contestants. But before you think I'm being rude, I should explain.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Pointless is a quiz show in which the winners are the ones with the fewest points.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Of course, the contestants have a point - it's to give us clips like these.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45And welcome back to our fourth pair today, Zena and Julie.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48This is your second and final chance on Pointless.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Remind us who you are.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56- I'm sorry.- I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that. Remember who you are?!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59OK. And now remind us who you are.
0:14:59 > 0:15:06So, that's the end of Round One, and the losing pair with the highest score is Zena and Julie. Bad luck.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Gutted, Alastair. Gutted.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12- Yes.- Alexander!- We came for a good time and we had a good time.- Sorry.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Did you just call me Alastair?
0:15:15 > 0:15:19You see, it's that kind of know-how that's going
0:15:19 > 0:15:22to score you 100 points. Rick, what are you going to give me?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25We're looking for capital cities beginning with B.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Well, Alexandra, she's just pinched my last answer.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Alexandra? I've been called Alistair, I'm now being called Alexandra.
0:15:31 > 0:15:37- That's a girl's name.- I'm so sorry. Alexander, Alexander.
0:15:37 > 0:15:42OK, remember, we are looking for UK Christmas number one artists.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46The more obscure, the better. Coren, your turn.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50I feel like I'm taking a huge gamble with this
0:15:50 > 0:15:55but I do think I heard of it before. It's quite controversial.
0:15:55 > 0:16:01But, erm, I'm going to go for Antichrist.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- Antichrist?- Yeah.- That...
0:16:06 > 0:16:11Antichrist? His name's Alexander.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14And sometimes, he gets things wrong as well.
0:16:14 > 0:16:21Who are those winners of the Wimbledon women's... Wimbledon...?
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Oh, it's good, isn't it?
0:16:25 > 0:16:29What are those women's sinkle... Sinkle?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Who are those winners...?
0:16:37 > 0:16:42- Oh,- BLEEP!- No, who are the Wombles that no-one can wabble?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48The producers dropped the next question,
0:16:48 > 0:16:52which involved Alexander asking how "much wood would a woodchuck chuck?"
0:16:52 > 0:16:58But being a presenter isn't easy and I should know. I've been making it look difficult all evening.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01It's not just the English language that'll trip you up.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Sometimes it pays to have a Maths GCSE as well.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Dennis and Andy, your teams are depending on you, because as Craig
0:17:06 > 0:17:08pointed out, there's a big swing on this.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11I'll tell you what, five...
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- It's... Hold on, what's it going to be at the end of this?- 5-2 or 4-3.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Hmm?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- 5-2 or 4-3.- Easy, Andy, easy.
0:17:20 > 0:17:25As Craig pointed out, there's a big swing on this because it's either going to be 5-3 or 4-2, isn't it?
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- 5-2 or 4-3.- It's been a long day!
0:17:30 > 0:17:36There's a big swing on this, as you pointed out. It's either going to be 5-3... No.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- Keep seven and nine.- OK, 4-3 or 5-2.
0:17:42 > 0:17:47As you pointed out, there's going to be a big swing on this because well, what are the two possible scores?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Either 5-2 or 4-3. - Thank you very much.
0:17:53 > 0:17:59Unfortunately, in the next round, Nicky Campbell got voted off, which was weird, because up until
0:17:59 > 0:18:02that point there wasn't even a "voting-off" part of the game.
0:18:02 > 0:18:07It's far better if the host and the contestants work together in perfect harmony.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Although sometimes, they can get on too well.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- Can I say how beautiful you look today?- Thank you.
0:18:12 > 0:18:19And I think Frank looks fantastic too, in his own way, but, Margot, you're the one I've got the hots for!
0:18:19 > 0:18:22It's irrelevant to the contest in hand.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Yes. Quite exciting in its own way, isn't it?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- Yes.- They'll cut this bit out.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30- OK.- Since you asked, 07773 216 1...
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- Natalie, you're in a tough mood today.- Sorry.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37But... No, you're right. £15,000 is at stake.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- I'm tough to everybody, I'm not just tough to...- You are.- Some people.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43You're tough to us all, as I discovered in my dressing room
0:18:43 > 0:18:44about three-quarters of an hour ago.
0:18:44 > 0:18:49- Dream on, Giles. - There we are. Dream on. I did! That's what we were talking about.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53This is neither here nor there, but for the late-night version, this will be fun.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58And if you want to see the outtake from the late-night version then you should be ashamed of yourself.
0:18:58 > 0:19:03It's nothing but rude anagrams and brightly-coloured jumpers. Eurgh!
0:19:03 > 0:19:05OK, let's get as far away from that as we possibly can.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08In fact, halfway round the world to Big Cat Live.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12In the Masai Mara, all that can be heard is the chirping of crickets,
0:19:12 > 0:19:18the rustle of the bush and the eerie, almost mystical snickering of Kate Silverton.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21It's been fun. We've completely overrun on our web cam. I'm sorry.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23But I suppose... Anyway, should we end there?
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- If you're still with us. - Before it...
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Yes, exactly. Nobody's watching.
0:19:27 > 0:19:32I tell you what, the guys, the guys are thinking, "listen, can we please go to the bar?"
0:19:32 > 0:19:36We're just on our own.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39It's not bar time! That's why.
0:19:39 > 0:19:45- If you're there, wherever you are... - All I can see is legs.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47You can see the fun...
0:19:47 > 0:19:51And think they've got out of their trousers and they've run off.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53The cameras have got no people behind them.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57- Exactly. I think we're going to get a right smack.- Yeah.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00The show tomorrow it is at 6:15pm.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01- On BBC One.- Yeah!
0:20:02 > 0:20:05And we'll all be here. It's an hour-long show.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08- Is it an hour-long?- If it's anything as good as this...
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Anyway, I've enjoyed myself. Have you?
0:20:10 > 0:20:13You know why? It is life. We have thoroughly enjoyed it.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15We are very, very lucky.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18We've got a great crew here and we'll be thanking them all tomorrow night.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20It's all run, darling.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- I'm crying about tomorrow. - What's going to happen tomorrow?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Oh, Lord only knows. Do join us tomorrow...
0:20:28 > 0:20:33- Come on.- Oh, I'm so glad we're not on BBC One doing this.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- We wouldn't have jobs afterwards, would we?- What are we on?
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Oh, no, I didn't mean that.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- That's going in your book of quotes. - That was both feet in mouth.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Has someone put something in the fire?
0:20:48 > 0:20:53- They did. OK.- This is worse than being peed on by Keikai.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56- This is stressful.- Right, chaps. We'll love and leave you.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Thank you so much, Royston.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Lovely Royston. We love everybody here.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03That was a buffalo.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05OK, we'll love and leave you.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Thank you so much for watching.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11- BBC One tomorrow.- BBC One tomorrow, goodnight. Goodnight, goodnight.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14APPLAUSE
0:21:14 > 0:21:18There's never a man-eating lion around when you need one, is there?
0:21:18 > 0:21:23Still, when a TV presenter, an actor or a reporter gets the giggles, the whole crew laughs along.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Because they know it means just one thing.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Overtime.
0:21:27 > 0:21:35I have come in to see you today, not just to pay my account, but to ask you for your support.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38But does this mean you'll be opposing Mr Dowland?
0:21:38 > 0:21:41It is the reason I'm putting myself up... SHE LAUGHS
0:21:41 > 0:21:44You are indeed putting yourself up, Miss Lane.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47SHE LAUGHS
0:21:49 > 0:21:52This means you will be opposing Mr Dowland.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54It is the reason I'm putting myself up.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58You are indeed putting yourself up, Miss Lane.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Oh, dear God.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- Miss Lane. We heard the most absurd rumour... - SHE LAUGHS
0:22:09 > 0:22:13How bad a couple were they? Just describe some of the things they got up to.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16One of the worst incidents we had was the night when they were actually
0:22:16 > 0:22:22chasing people with baseball bats down the street, a police officer was assaulted in the ensuing fight.
0:22:22 > 0:22:27They threatened who were looking out the windows, that the window was going to go through.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30One of the lads dropped his trousers at the same time.
0:22:31 > 0:22:36- I didn't mean to laugh at that. Sorry!- Shall I interview you?
0:22:36 > 0:22:40The latest space shuttle launch has been cancelled because of a hydrogen leak.
0:22:40 > 0:22:45Endeavour was due to blast off from Florida today on a 16-day mission
0:22:45 > 0:22:50to install a Japanese-built outdoor porch on the International Space Station.
0:22:53 > 0:22:58Oh! It would have had hanging baskets and shelves.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00And a cat sitting in the sunshine.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02I'm sorry, I can't.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06Fit for a queen? Well, it's good enough for you, my sweet.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Absolutely amazing.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Now then, the moment we've all been waiting for.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13You're about to find out if you've won...
0:23:13 > 0:23:15I can't believe we're doing this,
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Paul,
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- shall I carry on? - You carry on. I'm speechless.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24Last week we launched our competition to win, all you had to do was
0:23:24 > 0:23:28described the colour of Paul's shirts each night last week.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- They say that the dead don't talk. - That's true. In my experience.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Who says that?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- That dead people... - Who says the dead don't talk?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Mental people.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42No-one says the dead don't talk.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Witches say that.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47And then they go, "Or do they?
0:23:47 > 0:23:50"Pop this toad under your tongue and you can talk if he's dead."
0:23:50 > 0:23:52I've forgotten what the actual story is!
0:23:52 > 0:23:56- Anyway, we're getting... - Who says the dead don't talk?
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Do the dance, do the dance!
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Sorry, force of habit every time I see Ricky Gervais.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Anyway, enough of giggling people on telly, it's time to make the most of
0:24:06 > 0:24:09this visual medium and have something from the radio.
0:24:09 > 0:24:15This is the brilliant, husky, giggly, Charlotte Green on Radio Four.
0:24:15 > 0:24:20American historians have discovered what they think is the earliest recording of the human voice.
0:24:20 > 0:24:25Made on a device which scratched sound waves onto paper, blackened by smoke.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29It was made in 1860, 17 years before Thomas Edison
0:24:29 > 0:24:35first demonstrated the gramophone, and featured an excerpt from a French song, Au Clair de la Lune.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38VERY POOR RECORDING
0:24:46 > 0:24:51The...the award-winning screenwriter Abby Mann has died at the age of 80.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56He won an Academy Award in 1961 for Judgment at Nuremberg.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57SHE LAUGHS
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Excuse me, sorry.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Abby Mann also won several Emmys including...
0:25:02 > 0:25:05including one in 1973 for a...
0:25:07 > 0:25:11for a film which featured a... SHE LAUGHS UNCONTROLLABLY
0:25:11 > 0:25:13..a police detective called...
0:25:16 > 0:25:22The character on whom a long-running TV series was eventually based.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27You know, it's uncontrollable giggling on a live broadcast
0:25:27 > 0:25:31that guarantees Charlotte the day off work should the Queen fall ill.
0:25:31 > 0:25:36Time now for Blue Peter. Not so much a broadcasting icon, as an i-can't.
0:25:36 > 0:25:43It's only now that the real story of the underground city has risen to the surface. To find out more...
0:25:45 > 0:25:50My football skills aren't quite up to scratch and if I'm going to impress the boys out in Berlin...
0:25:52 > 0:25:55You wouldn't catch me anywhere in these chains.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Anyway, I've already been caught, haven't I? I'm a slave.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01SHE LAUGHS And I've broken free!
0:26:01 > 0:26:08I've always wanted to say this, I'm Miss Zoe Salmon, LLB, CPLS.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Which means I'm a qualified solicitor.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17I love the way I never try to catch properly with one hand cos I'm afraid it'll break my nails.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21In the old days, you wouldn't worry about breaking a nail because
0:26:21 > 0:26:26Lesley Judd would make her a new one using an old loo roll and some sticky-back plastic.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Still, today's kids are just as wholesome with their
0:26:29 > 0:26:35youthful enthusiasm, their delight in new language and their two pints of lager and a packet of crisps.
0:26:35 > 0:26:40Look at you. Your eyeballs are redder than an embarrassed radish.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Oh!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Luke, you...- BLEEP.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47I forgot what I was saying.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49I'm desperate for a man.
0:26:49 > 0:26:54I think I may have found one but he's possibly a psychopath, masquerading...
0:26:56 > 0:26:57Sorry.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Oh, damn!
0:27:07 > 0:27:09I missed the board!
0:27:09 > 0:27:13It's immoral. You three ought to be ashamed of yourself.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16All right, Louise, I never meant for this to happen.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18We're adults now...!
0:27:20 > 0:27:28He adores you, but his phone might be dead or he might be in a meeting or in a, in a...toilet.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Or in a... You know,
0:27:30 > 0:27:32just a place of worship.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Look, what if I help you?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38By fetching me another jar and a tenner?
0:27:38 > 0:27:41No, but I could get you a couple of shifts at the pub with me and Tim.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44Really? Dawn, I didn't want to ask.
0:27:44 > 0:27:49I thought I'd be stepping on your toes and I kind of already did that by stealing your husband.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55- No, it's all forgotten about.- Yeah, and you've only just finalised your divorce.- It's all forgotten about.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58And we celebrated by putting on that...
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Sorry! Sorry, Mum.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05And you've only just finalised your divorce.
0:28:05 > 0:28:10- Yeah, it's all forgotten about. - And me in Gaz celebrighted... Celebrighted? Oh... Sorry!
0:28:11 > 0:28:14- What? - Celebrighted, like an Australian.
0:28:18 > 0:28:23That was Two Pints Of Lager and 43 takes of complete frustration.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26And although those outtakes meant everyone in that studio had to stay
0:28:26 > 0:28:30late, they mean that everyone in this studio has to leave right now.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32CHEERING
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Yeah, all right.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36So until next time, ta-tah.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:28:47 > 0:28:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:50 > 0:28:53E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk