0:00:02 > 0:00:05In a town as old as Pawnee, there's a lot of history in every acre.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09This wooded area is the site of, um, the murder, actually,
0:00:09 > 0:00:11of Nathaniel Bixby Mark.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15He was a pioneer who was killed by a tribe of Wamapoke Indians,
0:00:15 > 0:00:18after he traded them a baby for what is now Indianapolis.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21They cut his face off.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24And they made it into a dream catcher.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26And they made his legs into rain sticks.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29And that's the great thing about Indians, back then, is,
0:00:29 > 0:00:31they used every part of the pioneer.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Today is a great day for the Knope family.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57My mother is being honoured at a banquet with the Tellenson Award
0:00:57 > 0:01:00for Excellence in Pawnee Public Service.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03The award's named after the legendary Tony Tellenson,
0:01:03 > 0:01:06who was a great man. Sorry, IS a great man.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I, for one, am glad that they're keeping him alive.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12I saw you survive that town hall meeting.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Keep that up and you're going to be figuring out
0:01:14 > 0:01:16what wall to put your own Tellenson Award on.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Oh, I already know, the one on the left where the American flag is.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21But I think we could be a multi-generational
0:01:21 > 0:01:23political dynasty, you and I, you know?
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Like the Kennedys, or the Bushes.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Minus the drinking problem.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I mean no disrespect.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32The only reason anybody's going to this thing
0:01:32 > 0:01:35is because they're afraid of what Marlene'll do to them if they don't.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39That woman is tough. In 1994, I gave her a nickname.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43It's unrepeatable, but it stuck.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45It's my proudest accomplishment.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50- It's "The Iron- BLEEP- of Pawnee."
0:01:52 > 0:01:54This is very exciting. This is a big night.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57We're going to meet some powerful people tonight, so take this down.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Mmm-hmm.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Good evening.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Marlene Griggs-Knope is my mother.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05How important are speeches?
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I don't know, ask the Gettysburg Address.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Oh, it didn't answer your call?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Maybe because it was in the Smithsonian.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15It was a great learning experience because my mom casts a long shadow.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Read that part back to me.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20"I was learning-disabled and my mom cast a very long shadow."
0:02:20 > 0:02:22No, I didn't say "learning-disabled."
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Um, we'll just move on. We can fix that later. Long shadow, go.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I've lost my momentum now. OK, let's start from the top.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28What's the first sentence again?
0:02:28 > 0:02:31"Marlene Griggs-Knope is morbidly obese."
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I never said "obese." I said "is my mother."
0:02:35 > 0:02:36Oh, sorry. I got it.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I need to mention the park and in a very subtle way,
0:02:39 > 0:02:43I need to let people know that I'm forging my own path and I have my own subcommittee.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45But I don't want to sound braggy. What do I do?
0:02:45 > 0:02:48It's about appearing humble. Abraham Lincoln, when he started his speeches,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51he would come up and say, "My name's Abraham Lincoln.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53"I'm the President of the United States.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55"But I'll be honest with you. I've no clue what I'm doing."
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- Maybe start off with something like that.- OK. So, I start off with, "I'm Leslie Knope.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00"I'm Deputy Director of Parks and Recreation,
0:03:00 > 0:03:02"and to be honest with you, I don't know what I'm doing."
0:03:02 > 0:03:06Yeah. Then, I think what we want to do at that point is start getting the energy up.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Yeah. - How about this?
0:03:08 > 0:03:11"Marlene Griggs-Knope is definitely not a whore."
0:03:11 > 0:03:12- No. - "Marlene Griggs-Knope
0:03:12 > 0:03:15"has not five but seven Asian friends.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18"Marlene Griggs-Knope has never solicited a male prostitute.
0:03:18 > 0:03:23"Marlene Griggs-Knope has said the N-word only four times in her entire life."
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- No! No!- She said it more than that?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28PLAYING GUITAR
0:03:28 > 0:03:29DOOR OPENS
0:03:31 > 0:03:32How about this one?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- That's hot.- Seriously?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Yes. That's really hot.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39How come you don't dress up like that for me?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Well, Cos I would feel a little silly
0:03:41 > 0:03:43putting on a nice dress to go to "the couch."
0:03:43 > 0:03:45BOTH LAUGHING
0:03:47 > 0:03:49I haven't been out in so long.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Andy being in a cast has definitely put a crimp in our social life.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54I don't really know Leslie's mom,
0:03:54 > 0:03:56and I don't know what the Tellenson Award is,
0:03:56 > 0:03:59but at this moment in my life,
0:03:59 > 0:04:01it sounds like a magical evening.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Babe, I'm out of milk.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08How dressy is this, exactly?
0:04:08 > 0:04:09To the max.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12It's THE most exclusive local government event of the year.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- Really? - Yeah.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18The Tellensons is like the Oscars times the Grammys plus the Super Bowl.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Wow. OK.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Um, I should probably change.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I'm headed to the salon right now.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Salvatore Manfrelotti has been cutting hair
0:04:26 > 0:04:29across from Pioneer Hall since 1958.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31All the movers and shakers who come through Pawnee
0:04:31 > 0:04:33have sat in that chair at one point or another.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36I mean, he's the guy that made Larry Bird look the way he does.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Next.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41So, what's the inside scoop, Salvatore?
0:04:41 > 0:04:42My feet hurt.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45SHE LAUGHS Classic Salvatore!
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Do I know you?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Uh, no. This is my first official political haircut.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52I'm Leslie Knope, Deputy Director of Parks and Recreation.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Are you related to that Marlene Something-Knope?
0:04:55 > 0:04:59That depends. Would you call being her daughter related?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02What the hell else would you call it?
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Now, what do you want me to do with this?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Well, my mom is being honoured tonight.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08So, in a way, I am also being honoured.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10And I just wanted to mix things up a little bit, you know?
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Pin it up, something sassy, but powerful and dynastic.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Hi, April.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Good evening, sir.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27I'm off the clock, April. You don't need to call me sir.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Salvatore calls this hairdo "The Mayor."
0:05:30 > 0:05:32And yes, I will wear my hair like this
0:05:32 > 0:05:35when I am the first female mayor of Pawnee.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Oh, man, I am way overdressed.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41What are you talking about? You look great. We look great.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42Everyone's looking at us.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Yeah, I know.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- You want a drink? - Yes, I do very much want a drink.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49That man is staring.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51That's former City Councilman Frank Schnable.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Oh, we are in rarefied air tonight, Ann. Rarefied air!
0:05:54 > 0:05:57- He's coming over.- What? OK. Be cool, be cool!
0:05:57 > 0:05:58I will try.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- Hello. - Hello, former City Councilman.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03I am Leslie Knope. I am the daughter of the honouree this evening.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I just wanted to tell you that I think
0:06:05 > 0:06:07that what you two are doing is so brave.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Just being who you are.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13I wish I had your courage.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18OK, let's go.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24I enjoy government functions
0:06:24 > 0:06:28like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel-toe boot.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32But this hotel always serves bacon-wrapped shrimp.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36That's my number one favourite food wrapped around my number three favourite food.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38I'd go to a banquet and honour of those Somali pirates,
0:06:38 > 0:06:41if they served bacon-wrapped shrimp. Excuse me.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45- Hey, Table 12. Can I get a "what what?"- Wow.- Thank you.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49I mean, Ann, you look stunning, but, Leslie, wow.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- I was going for wow. - You got it.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I was told it was black tie.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- I like your hairdo, Leslie. - Thank you, Ron.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59It's just like my brother's. He's an officer in the Air Force.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Bacon-wrapped shrimp.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02Oh. Thanks, I'm OK.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03I wasn't offering.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06SHE GASPS Oh, Ann, don't look.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07No, no, I said don't look.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Seated behind us is Janine Restrepo.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12We need to rezone the pit to turn it into a park
0:07:12 > 0:07:16and she's on the zoning board. Oh, what a night! Please.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17This is so cool.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20At that table are all eight living Tellenson Award winners.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Bert Winfield, Geoffrey Morglesberg, Quentin Arble, Dawn Krink,
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Michael Holloway, I don't know who that is, that's somebody's wife,
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Horace Rangel, Wilmer Vism and Oscar Pfortmiller.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Wait. Oscar Pfortmiller is dead.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34That's his disappointing son, Theo.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Another dynasty. What a testament to my mother.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38If a bomb went off in here,
0:07:38 > 0:07:40it would definitely make the Indianapolis papers.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Guys, we have to get me to talk to Janine Restrepo.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45She's right behind us and she could rezone our park.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Well, then just go up there and say hello and start talking to her.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Brilliant political strategy, Mark. SHE CHUCKLES
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Maybe I should mention her massive weight loss.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54You're over-thinking this.
0:07:54 > 0:07:59Here, I'm going to pretend to be Janine Restrepo. You, be you. Go.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Hello, Madame Zoning Board Member Janine Restrepo.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04I am Leslie Knope from the Parks... What are you doing?
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Oh, I'm Pawnee Zoning Board Member Janine Restrepo.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08And I can do whatever I want.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Please, tell me about this park that you badly need rezoned by me.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12OK, well, I think it would be a good idea
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- to have a multi-use community park. - Oh. Do you?
0:08:15 > 0:08:16- Oh!- Wait, what's that?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19What? I'm just former City Councilman Frank Whatever-The-Hell.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21And I have more power than Janine Restrepo, so I can do whatever I want.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22I don't even know if that's true or not.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Oh, my God, really? Well, I'm Marlene Griggs-Knope
0:08:25 > 0:08:26and I will destroy you all!
0:08:26 > 0:08:29ALL THREE LAUGHING
0:08:29 > 0:08:30What the hell are you guys doing?
0:08:30 > 0:08:33It's fun to pretend to be zoning board members.
0:08:33 > 0:08:34SHE LAUGHS
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Hey! Hi!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Hey...
0:08:38 > 0:08:41My goodness. Look at you.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42You like? I went to Salvatore.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Salvatore usually does men. Usually.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- But this time he made an exception. - Hmm.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48This is Ann Perkins.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Oh, right, Leslie's new friend.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Yeah, friend. She's... We're friends. Just friends.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56I have a boyfriend. He's a man.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59So, I need your advice. I'm seated near Janine Restrepo.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02The queen of the zoning board?
0:09:02 > 0:09:06- Am I the only- BLEEP- Person here who doesn't know Janine Restrepo?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09I think she could be very useful. What's my in?
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Oh, let's see. You wrote a speech?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Yes. It's 22 minutes long, with the song.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15I could cut the song. The song's cut.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Scrap the whole thing.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Let's make the speech work for us.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Oh, politics! Yes! My mom is crazy good at this.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25OK, the two things you have going for you
0:09:25 > 0:09:27is your connection with me, of course,
0:09:27 > 0:09:29and the fact that Restrepo loves feeling important.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- So make sure that you butter her up. - I will.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35I'll make her feel like a human dinner roll.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Hello, everyone. I'm Leslie Knope, Marlene's daughter.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41ALL APPLAUDING
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Marlene Griggs-Knope is my mom, but she's so much more than that.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50She's also my mother. And together, we are the Knopes.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52And if you weren't thinking it,
0:09:52 > 0:09:54you probably already said it, "political dynasty."
0:09:54 > 0:09:56ALL LAUGHING
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Please save your applause until the end.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00There are so many luminaries here tonight.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04I mean, the list includes such amazing people as
0:10:04 > 0:10:07zoning board member Janine Restrepo...
0:10:07 > 0:10:10APPLAUSE
0:10:10 > 0:10:16..and others. In conclusion, my mom is Marlene Griggs-Knope.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20And I am just so psyched that Janine Restrepo is here.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22I love you, Mom.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24ALL APPLAUDING
0:10:24 > 0:10:26And you, too, Janine.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- You're the man, Leslie! - Thanks, Tom.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Hi, Ann. I wish I could talk. Moving and shaking.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37This is my evening. I'm Leslie's trophy wife.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40I'd like to invite anyone who has a few words to say to Marlene
0:10:40 > 0:10:42to come up during dinner.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Hello, Pawnee government! My name is Tom Haverford.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50And if five years ago, you told me I was going to be in this ballroom
0:10:50 > 0:10:54with Marlene Griggs-Knope, I would've guessed we were getting married.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56ALL LAUGHING
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Janine? Hi.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Hi. Have we ever met?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02No, but I am a big fan.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04- I'm Marlene's daughter. - Yeah, I got that.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Right, and I would love to speak to you
0:11:07 > 0:11:09about the ways we can improve our city.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10OK, well, call my secretary,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13and maybe we can set something up for next month.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14- OK.- OK. - OK.- All right.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- Next month, then. Fine.- Uh-huh.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17Bye.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Andy, I can't leave now.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21I'll get one for you on the way home.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26OK, meatball and ham. Wait, is that two different subs? Really?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28I don't know if they can do that.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Come on! I'm serious!
0:11:30 > 0:11:36Now, the words "too sexy" aren't really in my vocabulary,
0:11:36 > 0:11:39but, Marlene, girl, you are too sexy!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41ALL LAUGHING
0:11:41 > 0:11:46I refuse to lather Marlene up, kiss her ring like everybody else.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Instead I'll be delivering a speech of facts.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Marlene is a woman.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57She has worked in the government for three decades. 30 years.
0:11:57 > 0:12:03Properly applied, that's how long a good varnish should last.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05So, Marlene,
0:12:05 > 0:12:08it is true that you have won this award.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Brendanawicz. Let's bounce. We're going to be late.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15- For what? - Ladies. Scully's Bar.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16Let's go. Bounce, bounce, bounce.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19No. Please, you guys are the only people here I know.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20Uh, well, this thing's kind of wrapping up.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Maybe we could leave a little later.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Uh, it's 9:30, on a Friday night in Pawnee.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26There's not going to be a later, Mark.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Come on, now, you promised we'd go hit on chicks.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Maybe you and Leslie can join us at the bar.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Look, I would love to come hit on chicks with you guys,
0:12:35 > 0:12:38but she seems kind of engaged in something
0:12:38 > 0:12:39and I think I should probably stay.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- You'd hit on chicks? For real? - All right, you know what?
0:12:42 > 0:12:45We're going to be at Scully's if you two can tear yourselves away.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46Let's do this, Mark.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48It went really well with Restrepo.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50She said I should call her and we can set something up next month.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Did she say call her or call her secretary?
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Secretary.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56That's good, right? Secretary makes her schedule.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58That's great, honey. She's blowing us off.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00What? No! Really?
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Honey, she's totally blowing us off.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06What? That is not conduct worthy of the zoning board.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07She's a little weasel.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10OK, I didn't want to have to use this,
0:13:10 > 0:13:14but her husband got a DUI in Illinois last week.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17And she's trying to keep it quiet.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Well, everyone has their problems.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22So, what should my next tactic be?
0:13:22 > 0:13:26The DUI, Leslie. Let her know you know all about it,
0:13:26 > 0:13:27connect it to what you want,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30and then tell her if she doesn't help you, and soon,
0:13:30 > 0:13:32you're going to tell everybody in town.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I don't think I could do that!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I mean, I want to win a Tellenson Award some day.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38They don't give lifetime achievement awards
0:13:38 > 0:13:39to people who do things like that.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Sweetheart, they ONLY give lifetime achievement awards
0:13:42 > 0:13:44to people who do things like that.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Those are eight of the nastiest, most diabolical people
0:13:47 > 0:13:51you could ever want to meet. Bert Winfield was a blackmailer.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54And Dawn Krink slept her way to the top of the DMV.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Trip Holloway named names in the '50s.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Horace Rangel used the police department to harass journalists.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04And Jesus, honey. Tony Tellenson was the worst.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07He tried to re-segregate the drinking fountains.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Hey, Ann, where's Mark?
0:14:12 > 0:14:13He left with Tom.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Shoot! I have a tough assignment, and I need his help with it.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18I could help. Give me something to do.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20OK, apparently Restrepo was trying to blow us off,
0:14:20 > 0:14:21so my mom has a plan.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23We're going to twist her arm a little bit.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27She's trying to cover up for the fact that she has a husband who likes to
0:14:27 > 0:14:30vroom-vroom-vroom-vroom and glug-glug-glug-glug-glug.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32So you're going to blackmail her?
0:14:32 > 0:14:36No, I'm just going to get tough with her, Tellenson-style.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38That doesn't sound tough to me, that sounds slimy.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40It sounds like your mom's telling you to be slimy.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Ann, you don't understand politics. Look, nursing is easy.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Really?- Yeah. You just go to work,
0:14:45 > 0:14:46and people come in, and you heal them.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48But politics is different, you know?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Sometimes you have to bring the pain.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53You can't let yourself get taken advantage of.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55I think your mom's giving you bad advice.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56I don't think so.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58You just do everything your mom tells you to do?
0:14:58 > 0:15:01You just do everything your boyfriend tells you to do?
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Make any pancakes lately?
0:15:02 > 0:15:04He has two broken legs.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Yeah, and he's got three crutches. And one of them is you!
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- And the other two are crutches. - You know, I don't need to be here.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14SHE SCOFFS
0:15:14 > 0:15:17It's OK. You're allowed to fight.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19You two are just like everyone else.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Thank you,
0:15:23 > 0:15:26former Councilman Schnable.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31And now, a very special message from Mr Anthony Tellenson himself,
0:15:31 > 0:15:34recorded earlier this year from his hospital bed,
0:15:34 > 0:15:37before he lost the power of speech.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I'm leaving now, honey.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Cool Ranch, got it. Anything else?
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Mmm... I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get those tonight.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Well, Cos I don't think I can find a store that's open that sells slippers.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58I've been dying to go out with Mark.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Always thought we'd make a great team.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02You know? He's handsome, I'm a cutie pie.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04He's laid back. I'm more in your face, but in a fun way.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Ladies don't stand a chance.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- Uh... What's with the hat? - It's called peacocking.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10Basically, I'm wearing something
0:16:10 > 0:16:13that kind of makes me stand out, like a peacock.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15So, the girls will be like, "Hey, what's with that hat?"
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- I'm going to go peacock it out. I'll be back.- OK.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19ALL APPLAUDING
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Thank you, Tony, for those inspiring twitches and blinks.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32I think we're going to meet a little earlier than what you said. How about Monday?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Call my secretary and we'll set it up.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35Not good enough.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Not good enough? - Nope.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I know about things.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Well, my schedule is my schedule.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45So, I'm just going to get back to my dessert.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Drive much?
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Excuse me? - Your husband.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Does he drive much
0:16:54 > 0:16:55out of state?
0:16:59 > 0:17:02I know that your husband is a drunk driver. My mom told me.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06What do you want?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Uh...
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Just saying. I...
0:17:11 > 0:17:12SHE GASPS
0:17:14 > 0:17:16- Get out.- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. - Mmm-hmm.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- I don't know what came over me. - Leave.- I hope your husband gets help
0:17:19 > 0:17:21and that you have a long and happy marriage.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25Stacy, Becky tells me that you two are both real estate agents.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- That must be fun.- Uh-huh.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Any cool stories you got, huh?
0:17:30 > 0:17:31- Um... - What do you mean?
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Like, I don't know, anything weird or funny happen
0:17:34 > 0:17:36when you guys are showing people houses?
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Um...
0:17:37 > 0:17:40One time, I forgot my keys to one of the houses.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41- SHE LAUGHS - Whoa!
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- Oh, my God, you do that, too?- Yeah. - I've done that. That's the worst.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Then you have to drive all the way back, and then you have to be like, "I forgot my keys."
0:17:47 > 0:17:49And then they're like, "You did that twice."
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Look at these guys! The key-forgetting twins!
0:17:56 > 0:17:58I'll be right back.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Can I settle up, please?
0:18:00 > 0:18:01Dude. What is your problem?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- What?- Becky and Stacy are both really into you,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06and you're blowing it with them. And that's making them lose interest in me.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- Becky and Stacy are boring.- I need you back there, man.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I've seen you hook up with more trashy chicks
0:18:11 > 0:18:13in the last year than I can count, all right?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16If there was a Tellenson Award for hooking up with trashy chicks all the time,
0:18:16 > 0:18:18you'd have several of those awards.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21You're the king. You're my hero.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Tom, I'm going to get out of here. I'll see you Monday, OK?
0:18:24 > 0:18:25HE SIGHS
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- Hey.- Hi.
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Come on in.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35I just wanted to tell you that I didn't go through with it,
0:18:35 > 0:18:37blackmailing that woman.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39I tried, but I just couldn't do it.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Good. That's a good thing.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43It wasn't you.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47You know, there was definitely some truth
0:18:47 > 0:18:49about that thing you said about me and Andy.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51No. What?
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Yeah.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55- I'm sorry. - Me, too.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Oh.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Whoa! Hey! What the hell?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Oh. Hi, Leslie.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I thought you were a dude.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09The people who win awards aren't always the best people.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12I mean, I think Ann and I are really good people,
0:19:12 > 0:19:16and someday others will see that and we'll get our due.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Would I like to win a Tellenson Award like my mom did? Sure.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23But my dad never won an award, and he was always happy.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26He lives in Florida, in a cemetery.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30The point is, my mom is alive and I love her. She's one tough cookie.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35- That's why everybody calls her "The Iron- BLEEP- of Pawnee."
0:19:38 > 0:19:39Fondly.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good
0:19:43 > 0:19:45politician has to be appealing to the ladies.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her
0:19:48 > 0:19:49is a disappointment to both of us.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52You like the colour orange? Carrots? You into those?