Pawnee Zoo

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03OK, here's the situation.

0:00:03 > 0:00:05Your parents went away on a week's vacation.

0:00:05 > 0:00:08They left the keys to the brand new Porsche.

0:00:08 > 0:00:11Would they mind? Well, of course not.

0:00:11 > 0:00:12# I'll just take it for a little spin

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# And maybe show it off to a couple of friends

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# I'll just cruise around the neighbourhood

0:00:18 > 0:00:19# Well, maybe I shouldn't

0:00:19 > 0:00:20# Yeah! Of course I should

0:00:20 > 0:00:22Pay attention here's the thick of the plot

0:00:22 > 0:00:25# Pulled up to the corner at the end of my block

0:00:25 > 0:00:27# That's when I saw this beautiful girly-girl walking

0:00:27 > 0:00:28# I picked up my car phone

0:00:28 > 0:00:31# To perpetrate like I was talking

0:00:33 > 0:00:35# Sunroof was open the music was high

0:00:35 > 0:00:37# And that girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh

0:00:37 > 0:00:40# She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far

0:00:40 > 0:00:42# I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car

0:00:42 > 0:00:44# I can't believe it! I made a mistake

0:00:44 > 0:00:45# But parents are the same

0:00:45 > 0:00:47# No matter time nor place

0:00:47 > 0:00:49# So to all you kids all across the land

0:00:49 > 0:00:52# No need to argue Parents just don't understand. #

0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Yeah!- All right!

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Thank you. Thank you.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00Just a little something I know. So, what's up?

0:01:00 > 0:01:02Someone is on fire in Ramsett Park.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04They need you to get down there right away.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Oh, my God.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28I've been spending the summer doing a lot of zoo promotions.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30# For he's a jolly good fellow... #

0:01:30 > 0:01:31'Parrots live a very long time.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34'So we had a birthday party for a parrot that turned 60.'

0:01:34 > 0:01:37# ..which nobody can deny. #

0:01:38 > 0:01:43Chimpanzees are very smart, so we had them graduate from college.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47And they like to fling their faeces, so we were hoping that they would fling their hats.

0:01:47 > 0:01:48But they just flung their faeces.

0:01:50 > 0:01:51The Pawnee Zoo recently purchased

0:01:51 > 0:01:54two South African black-footed penguins, Tux and Flipper.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56And as part of our zoo promotion,

0:01:56 > 0:02:00we are going to give them a marriage ceremony,

0:02:00 > 0:02:02because they mate for life.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06Tux, do you take Flipper to be your lawfully wedded wife?

0:02:09 > 0:02:11"I do! I do!"

0:02:11 > 0:02:14By the power vested in me from the Department of Parks and Recreation,

0:02:14 > 0:02:17I now pronounce you husband and wife!

0:02:20 > 0:02:23SONG: The "Wedding March"

0:02:23 > 0:02:24LAUGHTER

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Oh!

0:02:28 > 0:02:30OK, well, at least they're married.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Are they making babies?

0:02:32 > 0:02:36Well, not those two. Those are both boy penguins.

0:02:36 > 0:02:37I'm sorry?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Tux and Flipper are both boys.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42So you should have pronounced them husband and husband, technically.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44That's awesome.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46SCATTERED LAUGHTER

0:02:46 > 0:02:50Still, you couldn't have asked for better weather.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Brendanawicz, you big sandwich eater.

0:02:52 > 0:02:53Oh...

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Cut it out, now.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Just to be clear, that was a friend punch.

0:02:58 > 0:02:59There was no flirtatious meaning behind

0:02:59 > 0:03:01that playful punch I just gave your arm.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Yes, I do understand. You've made it abundantly clear

0:03:04 > 0:03:07that there's no romantic element to our relationship in any way.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Yes. Good. Isn't it good to be able to just

0:03:09 > 0:03:11kind of horse around like this as friends?

0:03:11 > 0:03:12- It is.- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15I really hit rock bottom that night.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17And I mean that I literally fell

0:03:17 > 0:03:19to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21I remember laying there thinking,

0:03:21 > 0:03:25"There's probably a good reason why I'm down here and single."

0:03:27 > 0:03:30And then I started thinking, "I need morphine."

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Oh, yeah, I hear you made two male penguins very happy today.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35You're making history, Knope. I like that.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Sticking your neck out. - No, I didn't stick my neck out.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40- It was an accident.- Out of the mainstream. I think that's cool.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- I'm in the mainstream.- Yeah, I know. - No, not out of it.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Social activism.- No! Uh-uh.

0:03:45 > 0:03:46People in this town don't really like

0:03:46 > 0:03:48their government employees being activists.

0:03:48 > 0:03:53Last year, a garbage man was suspended for wearing a Live Strong bracelet.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56Hey, Leslie, some guy who owns a gay bar sent you a cake.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Pawnee has a gay bar?

0:03:58 > 0:03:59Yeah. The Bulge.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03It's behind my house.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05The Bulge is a gay bar?

0:04:05 > 0:04:06Uh, the nights I've wasted there.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09"Leslie! Hey, girrrrrrrrl!"

0:04:09 > 0:04:11With eight R's.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13"Thank you for supporting the cause of gay marriage.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15"You rock! The boys at The Bulge."

0:04:15 > 0:04:18They thought that was a political gesture?

0:04:18 > 0:04:20OK, nobody eat that cake. Tom? Step into my office.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22- That's also my office. - Yeah, whatever.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24- I know that you are not gay. - No, I'm not.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26- But you're effeminate.- What?

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32Yes, cos it was featured in Details magazine. And it's awesome.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Effeminate. Anyway, so the point is,

0:04:34 > 0:04:38do you think that marrying penguins made some kind of statement?

0:04:38 > 0:04:41Yes. The statement was that you're very lonely and you need a pet.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Huh.- Leslie? They sent you T-shirts, too.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Oh! Wow, look, they sent us a T-shirt.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48Hmm...

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Mine has a collar on it.

0:04:53 > 0:04:54There she is. Leslie!

0:04:54 > 0:04:56- Hey!- Hey.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59This is my boyfriend, Derek, and this is Derek's boyfriend, Ben.

0:04:59 > 0:05:00- Hi.- Hey.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03Oh! Wait, sorry, what's the situation?

0:05:03 > 0:05:06- What do you mean? - How does this work?

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Derek is gay, but he's straight for me,

0:05:08 > 0:05:10but he's gay for Ben, and Ben's really gay for Derek.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12- And I hate Ben.- It's not that complicated.- No.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Oh. Yeah. Sure.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18The thing about youth culture is, I don't understand it.

0:05:19 > 0:05:20So what can I do for you guys?

0:05:20 > 0:05:22They just really wanted to meet you,

0:05:22 > 0:05:24because you're kind of like their hero now.

0:05:24 > 0:05:28- Oh, oh, April, please, it was just penguins.- No!

0:05:28 > 0:05:31I'm a public servant, and I'm not allowed to take a political stance.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33But you did, and it was awesome.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36Yeah. None of the other politicians ever take a stand,

0:05:36 > 0:05:38and it means a lot to the whole gay community.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41It does, and we're having this party tomorrow night at The Bulge,

0:05:41 > 0:05:43and we had something to ask you.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45We really want you to be the guest of honour.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48- Oh, my.- It'd be amazing if you came.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Yeah, you have to come. - Who made this?

0:05:51 > 0:05:52- We did.- Yeah, we did.

0:05:52 > 0:05:53- How?- Photoshop.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55- What?- Computers.- Oh!

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Hey, why are you all dolled up?

0:06:00 > 0:06:04It's a long story. I'm the guest of honour at this gay bar tonight.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07I guess gay men are starting to like me.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09I don't know. I guess they think I'm fabulous or something.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13Well, you look good, girl. You're going to turn somebody tonight.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15SHE LAUGHS

0:06:17 > 0:06:21That was hands-down the best interaction I've ever had with Donna.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Leslie, this is Marcia Langman from

0:06:24 > 0:06:28the Society For Family Stability Foundation.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Oh, hello. I love your top. - Oh, thank you so much.

0:06:31 > 0:06:32I was just hoping you had a moment

0:06:32 > 0:06:34to discuss the events at the zoo yesterday.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Well, I have nothing to do with this, so...

0:06:37 > 0:06:42Well, what can I do for you and those fine people at the SFSF?

0:06:42 > 0:06:46Well, you could resign, if you're up for it.

0:06:48 > 0:06:49Oh, you're serious?

0:06:49 > 0:06:53When you performed a marriage for gay penguins,

0:06:53 > 0:06:55using taxpayer money on government property,

0:06:55 > 0:06:57you were symbolically taking a stand

0:06:57 > 0:07:00in favour of the gay marriage agenda.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Oh, I'm sorry, but hold on a second there, Marcia.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05That was not my intention, at all.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Well, why else would you marry penguins?

0:07:08 > 0:07:12Because I firmly believed that it would be cute. And it was.

0:07:12 > 0:07:16- Leslie, are you married? - No. Not yet, Marcia.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20Soon, probably. I have a plan, but, no, not now.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Not dating anyone yet.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Focusing on my career.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25I thought so.

0:07:25 > 0:07:29So you couldn't possibly understand, but when gays marry,

0:07:29 > 0:07:32it ruins marriage for the rest of us.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34So, either you annul the wedding,

0:07:34 > 0:07:37or I'll publicly ask for your resignation.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41You know what? I'm so terrible with directions.

0:07:41 > 0:07:42If I'm headed to the parking lot,

0:07:42 > 0:07:44do I make a left out of here, or do I go right?

0:07:44 > 0:07:48- It's a left, yeah.- Thank you.- You're welcome.- Annul the wedding!

0:07:51 > 0:07:53- Hey.- Hi!

0:07:53 > 0:07:58I'm supposed to meet Leslie for lunch, but she actually works, so...

0:07:58 > 0:07:59Ouch!

0:07:59 > 0:08:02'Mark was brought to my hospital the night of the accident.

0:08:02 > 0:08:03'He was here for a week.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05'I think when his head hit the ground,

0:08:05 > 0:08:07'it must've knocked something loose,

0:08:07 > 0:08:10'because he's actually a pretty nice guy now.'

0:08:11 > 0:08:13And Andy, after we broke up, he told me

0:08:13 > 0:08:16he was going to Kansas to climb mountains.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21So, I don't really know where he is.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24Hey, have you seen that documentary about food yet?

0:08:24 > 0:08:27No, I haven't. But I heard it's really good. I want to see it.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29We should go together.

0:08:29 > 0:08:35What? Yeah, no. I don't think so. That would be like a date.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37OK. Say no more.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Mmm.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41I hate salad.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44Leslie, I don't want to ever keep secrets from you.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Oh, me, neither. Look, let's invent our own secret language

0:08:47 > 0:08:48that only we understand.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51We can use it and no-one will know what we're talking about.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53- OK.- OK.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56But in the meantime, I'm just going to tell you in English.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Mark kind of asked me out.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02He weirdly asked me to go see a movie with him,

0:09:02 > 0:09:05and I said no, of course, but I just...

0:09:05 > 0:09:06I just wanted to let you know.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11I'm feeling a lot of confusing things right now.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14Yeah. No, of course you are.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17And your friendship is the most important thing to me.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19And he's off-limits.

0:09:22 > 0:09:26Thank you. I just want to let you know, I was really serious

0:09:26 > 0:09:28- about that secret language. - I know.

0:09:31 > 0:09:32I can't believe this is a gay bar.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Yeah, especially with that heterosexual cowboy greeting us on the way in.

0:09:35 > 0:09:36Where should I drink now?

0:09:36 > 0:09:38There's a bar on Eighth Street called Pitchers and Catchers.

0:09:38 > 0:09:39You can go there.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Yeah. Hey! OK, listen. Here's the plan.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Our position is, we have no position.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45So let's just say, "Thank you for the party,

0:09:45 > 0:09:48"but we regretfully decline your offer to honour me."

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Oh, my God, I can't believe you came.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52- Hi, April. - Derek! It's Leslie Knope.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55- Leslie Knope, you're my hero! - Oh! That's nice.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Leslie, you are looking hot.

0:09:57 > 0:09:58Really?

0:09:58 > 0:10:02Thank you, Ben. I'm really enjoying this hug.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04That's so nice, but I need to tell you something.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06- This one is on us. - Well, if it's free...

0:10:08 > 0:10:09Leslie Knope!

0:10:09 > 0:10:11CHEERING

0:10:15 > 0:10:19She's Leslie Knope, and she wants to recruit you!

0:10:20 > 0:10:24No, no, no. Oh, my. OK. Please, please, please, please.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Gentlemen. First of all, I would just like to say

0:10:28 > 0:10:30thank you so much for throwing me this party,

0:10:30 > 0:10:33especially on a night when the Colts are playing.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36We love you, Leslie!

0:10:36 > 0:10:37CHEERING

0:10:37 > 0:10:39OK.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41This is green.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43CHEERING

0:10:45 > 0:10:47- ALL:- Leslie! Leslie! Leslie! Leslie! Leslie!

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Leslie! Leslie! Leslie! Leslie! Leslie!

0:10:49 > 0:10:51OK! Well, I wanted to tell you

0:10:51 > 0:10:54that I wasn't really trying to take a stand

0:10:54 > 0:10:58when I married those penguins.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00- ALL:- Leslie! Leslie! Leslie!

0:11:00 > 0:11:02You're chanting my name.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05Leslie! Leslie! Leslie! Leslie! Leslie!

0:11:05 > 0:11:09I just have one thing to say! Together we can change Pawnee forever!

0:11:09 > 0:11:10Let's dance!

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Leslie Knope's in the building, y'all! Let's get wild!

0:11:23 > 0:11:27I've seen so many dudes from City Hall here tonight, it's crazy.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31But I guess they've seen me here, too. So, that's not great.

0:11:31 > 0:11:35Hey! Hi. I got your text. Is everything OK?

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Oh, yeah! They're having a party in my honour!

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Go to the bar. If you're my friend, you can drink for free!

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Oh! Cool! OK, and maybe next time

0:11:42 > 0:11:45don't use the words "medical emergency."

0:11:45 > 0:11:46I'm so glad you're here!

0:11:46 > 0:11:49- I'm really sober! - OK! Get a drink!

0:11:56 > 0:12:00You know why tonight's fun? Cos everyone's so gay.

0:12:00 > 0:12:04And they know how to have fun, and the dancing!

0:12:04 > 0:12:08Just, it's... Everyone is just who they are.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11And who they are is just stone-cold gay.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13# Can't read my Can't read my

0:12:13 > 0:12:16# No, he can't read my poker face

0:12:16 > 0:12:18# Blah, blah, blah, blah

0:12:18 > 0:12:22# My, my, my, poker face My, my poker face

0:12:22 > 0:12:25# My, my, my, poker face My, my poker face. #

0:12:25 > 0:12:29I'm having such a nice time tonight. I've met many interesting people.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31And there's two bisexual guys here,

0:12:31 > 0:12:33and I got both of their phone numbers.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39# My, my, my poker face My, my poker face

0:12:39 > 0:12:41# My, my, my poker face My, my poker face

0:12:41 > 0:12:43# My, my, my poker face My, my poker face. #

0:12:43 > 0:12:45The whole morning.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49# Show me what's hot Tell me what I got

0:12:49 > 0:12:51# Can't read my Can't read my... #

0:12:51 > 0:12:52Have fun last night?

0:12:52 > 0:12:55I had three drinks named after me, so that's pretty fun.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Plus, Ben and Derek are taking me shopping on Saturday.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01And we are going to find out my actual bra size.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03I guess I'm kind of like queen of the gays.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06Bully for you. I just got a phone call.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08They want you to go on Pawnee Today.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11- Wow. That's huge. What's the topic?- You.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13That Marcia Langman from the family thing

0:13:13 > 0:13:15is calling for your resignation.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17- No!- You've got to go on and defend yourself.

0:13:17 > 0:13:21Why? I haven't even officially taken a stand on gay marriage.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24That's funny. Somebody just told me you were queen of the gays.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27That was me.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Pawnee Today, with Joan Callamezzo.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32It's kind of like the Meet The Press of our town.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34It's the big time, Leslie.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Yeah, I know. It is. I'm nervous.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39I just wish I was here under different circumstances.

0:13:39 > 0:13:40Guess who?

0:13:40 > 0:13:43Uh... Megan Fox? One of the Desperate Housewives?

0:13:43 > 0:13:44No, Joan Callamezzo.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47Hey, Joanie! What's up, gorgeous? Good to see you.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Tom comes on the show all the time. Joan loves him.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51You have the softest skin of any woman in Pawnee.

0:13:51 > 0:13:52Thank you.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54I wish you could reach, from your TV screen,

0:13:54 > 0:13:56and just touch Joan's skin for a second.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59- That's sweet.- You'd have a treat. - You're pretty soft yourself.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01- How are your kids doing? - They're pretty good.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Is it tough for them to have a mother that is so beautiful?

0:14:03 > 0:14:06What's it like being the most attractive woman in Pawnee?

0:14:06 > 0:14:09You keep up those funnies, I'll to have to invite you over for supper.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Well, I'll have to come over for supper.- Oh! You must.

0:14:16 > 0:14:20- Oh, my God.- Ann Perkins. How you doing?

0:14:20 > 0:14:23I'm good. How was mountain climbing?

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Oh! What?

0:14:28 > 0:14:31Can I come in? I just want to talk to you for a second.

0:14:31 > 0:14:32Sure, yeah.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38We have a controversial topic today,

0:14:38 > 0:14:41the gay penguin marriage at the Pawnee Zoo.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44So, Marcia, what is all the fuss about?

0:14:44 > 0:14:47The fuss is that Miss Knope claimed that

0:14:47 > 0:14:50she was not advocating for this gay cause,

0:14:50 > 0:14:53and then that very night, she was the guest of honour

0:14:53 > 0:14:57at a pro-gay marriage rally at a bar called The Bulge.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Miss Knope, how do you respond?

0:14:59 > 0:15:02I'd first like to say that I wasn't trying to advocate for anyone.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05I did not know that both of the penguins were males,

0:15:05 > 0:15:07and I was just trying to perform a cute,

0:15:07 > 0:15:10fun ceremony to promote our local zoo.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13I have to say that that stunt that you did

0:15:13 > 0:15:15with the penguins was clearly over the line.

0:15:15 > 0:15:20Now, Marcia, what, if anything, can Miss Knope do to make it right?

0:15:20 > 0:15:24- Joan, we don't want to be unreasonable.- Of course not.

0:15:24 > 0:15:29We think that she should separate the penguins, annul the marriage,

0:15:29 > 0:15:33reimburse the taxpayers for the cost of the wedding, of course,

0:15:33 > 0:15:34and then resign.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37- Oh! Is that it?- That would do it.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39Anything else? You want me to jump off a building?

0:15:39 > 0:15:42- Perform hara-kiri? - Move to a different town? No, I kid.

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Full of ideas here today.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46This is the reason why people don't go into politics.

0:15:46 > 0:15:50Because, I bust my ass for the people in this city, and I can't win.

0:15:50 > 0:15:54I have one night of fun with some of the best dancers I've ever danced with,

0:15:54 > 0:15:56and suddenly everybody's freaking out?

0:15:56 > 0:15:58- Wow, look at that! - Wow, we're lighting up here.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01Great. Let's go for it. Bring it on.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03- How does this work? - Well, push that, and...

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- Great. OK. Hey! You're on the air! - You're on the air! Good!

0:16:06 > 0:16:07'Yeah, I think that lady should resign.'

0:16:07 > 0:16:10OK, good. Thank you. Next caller.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12'You should resign and repay your salary.'

0:16:12 > 0:16:15OK, two for resign. Thank you. Next caller.

0:16:15 > 0:16:19'I just want to say that I love the zoo, and the zoo is really fun.'

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Thank you. That's really sweet.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24'And I think you should resign.'

0:16:26 > 0:16:28You look great. You look amazing.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31Thanks. You look fancy.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34Oh, yeah, the monkey suit. Cost 3,000 bucks,

0:16:34 > 0:16:37but totally worth it. I sold out!

0:16:37 > 0:16:39I got a boring office job in town, so...

0:16:39 > 0:16:43I gotta dress up, you know, the grind. But I'm really happy,

0:16:43 > 0:16:47and I really feel like I've matured a lot.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50Good! That's... I'm happy for you. Yeah.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52So listen, I was sitting in the cubicle the other day,

0:16:52 > 0:16:54just doing some thinking,

0:16:54 > 0:16:55and some growing...

0:16:55 > 0:16:56And some maturing.

0:16:56 > 0:17:02Yes! Maturing. And darn it if I don't just miss you, and...

0:17:02 > 0:17:06- Andy. - Well, A-Cakes, just let me...

0:17:06 > 0:17:08I love you,

0:17:08 > 0:17:11and I'm just really sorry for the way that I treated you.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13I was the worst boyfriend ever, I know that,

0:17:13 > 0:17:18and I really think it would behoove us to give it another shot.

0:17:18 > 0:17:22Yeah, look. I'm really happy for you about your job

0:17:22 > 0:17:24and that you've learned some new words,

0:17:24 > 0:17:26but I'm sure about my decision.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31OK. Say no more.

0:17:31 > 0:17:35Listen, hit me up on my cellphone. I'll be around.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38And if you want to talk, or grab coffee or something like that.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39- OK?- OK.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42Oh. Gotta get back to the office. Have a good one.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44- Good seeing you.- Bye.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00And the hardest part about living in this pit

0:18:00 > 0:18:02is probably keeping my suit pressed.

0:18:06 > 0:18:11And the rats. It's like a freaking rat parade every night.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13I just want to be close to her house,

0:18:13 > 0:18:14because I need to protect her.

0:18:14 > 0:18:18Cos there are some weird people that live around here.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21- PHONE:- 'Yeah, if you let penguins get married, where does it end?

0:18:21 > 0:18:23'I mean, would you let me marry my guinea pig?

0:18:23 > 0:18:26'Because I really do want to marry my guinea pig.

0:18:26 > 0:18:27'I'll take my answer off the air.'

0:18:27 > 0:18:29I think that's a valuable point.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Attendance is up 30% at the zoo, by the way. You're welcome.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35That penguin wedding was cute, damn it. And I'm not going to annul it.

0:18:35 > 0:18:36I'd ask you to reconsider.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Well, I'd ask you to stop asking me,

0:18:39 > 0:18:41because it's not going to happen, Marcia.

0:18:41 > 0:18:46- Is that right?- Last time I checked, I don't think I murdered anyone,

0:18:46 > 0:18:49or had an affair, or did drugs!

0:18:49 > 0:18:52But I apologise. I apologise for having fun,

0:18:52 > 0:18:54and for making something cute!

0:18:56 > 0:18:57Where are you from originally?

0:18:57 > 0:18:59Oh, no! What did I do?

0:19:00 > 0:19:02So, you will not be annulling the marriage?

0:19:02 > 0:19:06No. I will not be annulling. No.

0:19:09 > 0:19:14Look at them. They're just in their own little penguin love bubble.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18I guess that's what it's like when you meet your mate

0:19:18 > 0:19:21and know you're going to be together for ever.

0:19:24 > 0:19:25- Hi!- Hi!

0:19:25 > 0:19:27- You know what I realised?- What?

0:19:27 > 0:19:30We're just animals. We don't know anything about love.

0:19:30 > 0:19:31- OK.- Yeah.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33I think you should go on that date with Mark.

0:19:33 > 0:19:34Oh, Leslie...

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Really, seriously. I thought about it,

0:19:36 > 0:19:39and, look, he might not be my gay penguin, but he could be yours.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Look, I told you I'm not going on a date with him.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44OK, fine. If you don't want to go out with him, don't go out with him.

0:19:44 > 0:19:48But don't not do it because of me, because I'm really fine with it.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50All that's important to me is that we're still friends.

0:19:50 > 0:19:51- Me, too!- Good! Great.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Plus, I already called him and told him that

0:19:56 > 0:20:00- you were dying to go out with him, so have fun.- Huh?

0:20:00 > 0:20:03So, I transferred the penguins to a zoo in Iowa.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06Gay marriage is legal there, so hopefully, they'll be happy.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08At least they'll be together.

0:20:12 > 0:20:16Oh, look! Six Flags! I should take them on a water slide.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19They might die. But it would be so cute!

0:20:23 > 0:20:27Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd