0:00:02 > 0:00:04I just want to check one last time
0:00:04 > 0:00:06that you're OK about this date with Mark.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Oh, my God. I'm so fine with it, Ann. Seriously. It's so fine.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10As long as you and I are cool.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12You know my code. Hoes before bros.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15- Uteruses before duderuses. - Got it.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Ovaries before brovaries.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20You make such good coffee.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Look, I know you're saying you're OK with it,
0:00:22 > 0:00:24but I've been in this position before,
0:00:24 > 0:00:26and I had a friend who dated an ex,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28and I said I was OK, but I wasn't, actually.
0:00:28 > 0:00:29It was kind of weird.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31But the thing is, Mark isn't my ex.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33You know, we slept together six years ago.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Anyway, I'm over it. Or am I? I'm just kidding.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Oh! LESLIE LAUGHS MANICALLY
0:00:40 > 0:00:43This is one of my greatest brainstorms ever.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46A community garden, right in the middle of the pit.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49We're encouraging people to just come out and plant whatever they want.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52And Tom and I sometimes get here early and help out.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54It's so hot. I had to get some more iced tea.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56People have just really embraced this
0:00:56 > 0:00:58and planted the coolest stuff.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00And Tom is our master horticulturist.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02He knows all the scientific names for everything. Right, Tom?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- Yeah. - Like this. What's this, Tom?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Those are, of course, tomatoes, or Soulja Boy Tell 'Ems.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants,
0:01:11 > 0:01:13I just give her the names of rappers.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14And those over there?
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Those are some Diddys.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Those are some Bone Thugs-n-Harmony-ums right here.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20Growing beautifully.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Those Ludacrises are coming in great.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Look, someone planted something new. What's this?
0:01:25 > 0:01:26What do you think, carrots?
0:01:26 > 0:01:29If that's true, we have a garden pest on our hands.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Maybe some kind of spice?
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Yeah. You know, Leslie, the best way to figure out what kind of spice that is,
0:01:35 > 0:01:37just roll it up into a joint and smoke it.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Ron, did you get my texts?
0:02:01 > 0:02:02No.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- Did you get my e-mails? - Mmm-mmm.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Did you see that I paged you?
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- I did not. - Did you check your voicemail?
0:02:09 > 0:02:10I didn't.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12We have a criminal emergency on our hands.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Someone planted a gateway drug in the community garden.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16OK. Call the cops.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18That'll leak to the press.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Then there'll be an investigation,
0:02:19 > 0:02:21and they'll find my fingerprints on the manure,
0:02:21 > 0:02:22and then we'll lose our funding.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24You don't have funding.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25And we never will if this gets out.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Look, I will call the cops,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30but just give me one day to deal with this internally, OK?
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Sure. - Thank you.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35And listen, if this thing blows up,
0:02:35 > 0:02:37SHE WHISPERS I was never here.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I have a hernia.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I've had it for a while.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47And I've been ignoring it...
0:02:48 > 0:02:50..successfully.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51But this morning, I...
0:02:52 > 0:02:54..made the mistake of sneezing.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58HE SNEEZES THEN HOWLS IN AGONY
0:02:58 > 0:03:01But as long as I sit still and don't move my head...
0:03:02 > 0:03:03..or torso...
0:03:05 > 0:03:07..I'm good. I got this.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09We need to find out who we're dealing with.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Who IS this person? Who IS this kingpin?
0:03:11 > 0:03:15It's a 13-year-old kid named Stevie, who likes to get high,
0:03:15 > 0:03:18and make his Transformers look like they're having sex together.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19I would like to be President someday,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22so, no, I have not smoked marijuana.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I ate a brownie once.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27At a party in college. It was intense.
0:03:27 > 0:03:32It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36It was just an insanely good brownie.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39You know, if we catch him, then we avoid a scandal.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Cos we flip the headline, and it's not,
0:03:41 > 0:03:43"Community Garden Infested With Pot."
0:03:43 > 0:03:47It's, "Brave Public Servants Rid Neighbourhood of Drugs,
0:03:47 > 0:03:49"Earn Praise from Mayor, comma, Everyone."
0:03:49 > 0:03:51We got to catch this guy.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Get the van, meet me at 7:00.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56It's stakeout time.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58April?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Yeah? - Get my lunch for me, please.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03OK. Like, order you something?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06No, get it. From there.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Is this some kind of weird power trip?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Please.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Thank you. That'll be all.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21You're welcome.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34LESLIE: I have stakeout supplies.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36This is stuff that we're probably going to need.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40We have notepads, pencils and pencil case.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Shakeable whipped cream. Cameras. Pork.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47And...candy necklaces.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50It's like we're real police.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53And I made us a mix CD.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56It's all filled with songs about people watching people.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59It's mostly Sting. And look, I put our faces on there.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00It's really cool.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Are you going to wear that shirt?
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Yeah. You like it?
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Tommy Hilfiger?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08No. Tom Haverford. I spent 120 bucks to get it monogrammed.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Everyone thinks it's Tommy Hilfiger.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Well, here. You should be wearing something like this.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Take this.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Wear black. Black is what you wear on a stakeout.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19OK, I have to figure out how this works. Just let me focus up on this.
0:05:19 > 0:05:20Pretty bummed this fits.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23OK, now I need to just take a test shot and see how this goes.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Test shot. You ready? Just focus up on the pit. All right.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27- Stop. - Focus up right where the...
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Stop. - Focus up right where the weed is...
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Stop. Stop.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36Leslie swears it's OK. So I'm going out with Mark.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37I got to get back out there.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39When Andy and I used to go to the movies,
0:05:39 > 0:05:42he would always try to guess the ending of the movie.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44And he would always guess
0:05:44 > 0:05:48that the main character had been dead the whole time.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Even when we saw Ratatouille.
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Oh, look. It's Mark.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59CAMERA CLICKS FURIOUSLY
0:05:59 > 0:06:00- What are you doing? - What?
0:06:00 > 0:06:04I'm just checking to make sure this lens works. Good. Yeah.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Hey, Ann. - Hey.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11So, you ready to go?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Oh, no. I need another hour to get ready.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Seriously? Cos I think the movie starts in, like...
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Oh, you're joking around right now.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Wow. This is going to be fun (!)
0:06:22 > 0:06:23Yeah, well, you know, with a body like this,
0:06:23 > 0:06:25you don't get the brains, too.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- Ew! - Silly.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32TOM: Whoa! Are they dating now? Brendanawicz is the man!
0:06:32 > 0:06:34This is Brendanawicz's life.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Hot chick from the newspaper, hot chick from the post office,
0:06:37 > 0:06:38hot chick from the hospital.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Her name's Ann. You know her name. Her name's Ann.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43I'm just saying. Nobody turns him down.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45I did. TOM LAUGHS
0:06:45 > 0:06:46- Yeah (!) - Yeah, I did.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50We were drunk, and he tried to kiss me, and I said,
0:06:50 > 0:06:55"No, sir, Mark Brendanawicz. I don't need your business here."
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Get down!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Working late?
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Yep.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28# Shovel guitar, shovel guitar
0:07:28 > 0:07:30# Somebody wants to play shovel guitar... #
0:07:30 > 0:07:34Leslie's been playing shovel guitar for about an hour now. Longer.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37# Bucket drum, bucket drum... #
0:07:37 > 0:07:39You're not from here, right?
0:07:39 > 0:07:40No. I'm from South Carolina.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42But you moved to South Carolina from where?
0:07:42 > 0:07:43My mother's uterus.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46But you were conceived in Libya, right?
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Wow. No. I was conceived in America. My parents are Indian.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Where did the name Haverford come from?
0:07:51 > 0:07:55My birth name is Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani,
0:07:55 > 0:07:59and I changed it to Tom Haverford because, you know,
0:07:59 > 0:08:00brown guys with funny-sounding Muslim names
0:08:00 > 0:08:03don't make it really far in politics.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- What about Barack Obama? - OK, yeah, fine, Barack Obama.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09If I knew a dude named Barack Obama was going to be elected President,
0:08:09 > 0:08:11yeah, maybe I wouldn't have changed it.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12Oh, did you hear that noise?
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Oh, my God. It's the kingpin!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Write this down!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21OK, white male, light brown hair.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22TOM: Just take pictures!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Oh, my God, it looks like Andy.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27That IS Andy.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29That is Andy. Andy is the kingpin.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Andy. Come here.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Oh, hey, you guys! What are you doing here? It's so good to see you!
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Shh! Quietly!
0:08:37 > 0:08:38What happened?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- You're living in the pit now? - For now, yeah.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42It's awesome. Somebody just planted a garden down there.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Fruits and vegetables, so I'm getting a lot of vitamins...
0:08:44 > 0:08:47But that's our community garden!
0:08:47 > 0:08:51Yeah, and SOMEONE planted a whole mess of weed next to the tomatoes.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Oh, don't look at me. There's weed down there?
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I thought that was the tops of carrots.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Right, I know. Me, too. Listen, we're on a stakeout, OK?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59So why don't you come to the van and help us?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01We're trying to catch the guy. Maybe you could tell us what you've seen.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I was supposed to have a rock fight with this crazy guy.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08He's, like, 20 minutes late. All right. Let's do it.
0:09:09 > 0:09:10< Do you live here?
0:09:12 > 0:09:13April?
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Yeah. Do you live here?
0:09:16 > 0:09:17No.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Catch.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22Yeah, I thought so.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25I went home, but I had this strange feeling
0:09:25 > 0:09:27that there was something wrong with you, so I came back.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30It's just a minor medical issue.
0:09:30 > 0:09:31AIDS?
0:09:31 > 0:09:32No. I'm safe.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Blindness?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35No.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Is it like a parasite or a virus or something you get from a bee?
0:09:37 > 0:09:40I have a hernia.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- Do you have syphilis? - I said, it's a hernia.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44I know.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46It's possible to have two things.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Do you need a ride to the hospital?
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Yes, please.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50OK.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52But I rode my bike here, so I have to go home
0:09:52 > 0:09:54and get my dad's station wagon.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55Thank you.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Bye.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58SHE MIMICS FOOTSTEPS
0:10:01 > 0:10:02Are you still here?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Yeah. I just wanted to see if you could tell.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Are you still here?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17ANDY: It is really great to have somebody to talk to. Man, oh, man!
0:10:17 > 0:10:19So how's Ann? She's doing good?
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Oh, I miss her so much, it's ridiculous. How's she doing?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Doing good tonight. She's out on a...
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Ann is great.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29And I bet she really misses you.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31I'm going to need more of these if I'm going to stay up tonight.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32Is that candy?
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Yeah, it's a necklace made out of candy.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- You want one? - Oh, all right!
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Great. All I've had is fruits and vegetables for weeks now. Mmm!
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Oh, my God!
0:10:47 > 0:10:49You know, there's a string in there.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Not in this one.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Instant sugar high! Sugar high!
0:10:53 > 0:10:58Sugar hit high! Sugar high! High! Oh!
0:10:58 > 0:10:59Are you OK?
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Sugar slam!
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Maybe we should get you something more substantial to eat.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Mmm-hmm. I'm in.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10TOM: Hey, bring me back two cheeseburgers and a green tea!
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Oh, come on! You got to be kidding me!
0:11:20 > 0:11:22ANN: So, that was fun.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24MARK: Yeah. It really was.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25Surprisingly fun.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28You know what? I have been a perfect gentleman this evening.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30In fact, watch this.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33I would like you to now please invite me in for a nightcap.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- Not a chance. - No, no, no. Just...
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Watch what I'm going to do.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Oh, OK. - Just ask me in for a nightcap.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41- Will you come in for a nightcap? - Yes, I will.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44No, no! Damn! Drat! I was going to plan to not...
0:11:44 > 0:11:46- Wait, wait, wait. - To say no...
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Look, that guy's trying to break into that van.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53You know what, it does look like he's breaking into that van.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55I just... HE DIALS NUMBER
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- '911.' - Hi, there.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01So, Andy, do you, like, spy on Ann from the pit?
0:12:01 > 0:12:05No. No. I just like being nearby.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07That way, if she wants me back,
0:12:07 > 0:12:09I can be at her house, like, in two seconds,
0:12:09 > 0:12:11before she changes her mind.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14I don't really know how healthy that is.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16I mean, you guys aren't even dating anymore.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18She might be dating somebody else.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- Is she? - What?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Is she dating somebody else? - Huh? What?
0:12:22 > 0:12:23You just said Ann might be dating somebody else.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24- Is she? - I didn't say that.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Who is she dating?! - Nobody. Mark.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29That's cool.
0:12:29 > 0:12:30Oh, my God!
0:12:32 > 0:12:34641 to base, I'm at the vehicle now.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41How you doing tonight, sir?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I'm all right, Officer. How are you?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I'm responding to a 911 call
0:12:45 > 0:12:47about a suspicious person breaking into a van.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I need you to step out and show me some ID.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51No, it's OK. My name is Tom Haverford.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53I work for the Parks Department.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55I just got locked out of the van. I had to jimmy my way back in.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59Well, why don't you jimmy your way out and show me some ID.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Well, I just told you my ID. So, what's the crime here?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Parking while Indian?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06No, there's no stereotypes about Indians sitting in vehicles.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10All right, fine. Here's my ID.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Nice job, Paul Blart! Why don't you head back to the mall,
0:13:14 > 0:13:16make sure nobody's breaking into Lady Foot Locker?
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Hey! I'm very close right now
0:13:18 > 0:13:21to placing you under arrest for disorderly conduct.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Step out of the van.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23I'll step out of your mama's van!
0:13:23 > 0:13:26TOM SQUEALS I didn't do anything!
0:13:26 > 0:13:29I'm a city employee, man! Come on! Leslie!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Motion sensors.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Oh, my God!
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Excuse me! What are you doing?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44What happened to the guy that was in that van?
0:13:44 > 0:13:45Cops took him.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46What? Oh, my God!
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- Ann and Mark! - Andy!
0:13:49 > 0:13:50- (WHISPERS) It's Ann and Mark! - Andy?
0:13:50 > 0:13:52- Leslie? - Oh!
0:13:52 > 0:13:53- Leslie Knope. - Hey!
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- Hey! - Wow.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57We caught a criminal. Do you know about this?
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Yeah, he was breaking into this van and they dragged him away.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03It was crazy.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04Right here.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06What are you doing here?
0:14:08 > 0:14:09If you could just stop writing for a second,
0:14:09 > 0:14:11and just focus here, because...
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Ma'am, ma'am, as I've told you several times already,
0:14:13 > 0:14:15this is a police matter.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Well, it doesn't seem to MATTER to the police!
0:14:19 > 0:14:21OK. Nice job with that. But let's...
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Let me ask you a question.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Is it the policy of the Pawnee Police Department
0:14:24 > 0:14:26to arrest people when they try to get into their own van?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29No. And thankfully, that's not what happened.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Now, could you please go home, and get some sleep,
0:14:31 > 0:14:33and let this matter be resolved?
0:14:33 > 0:14:34MARK: Thank you, Officer. Let's just go home, Leslie.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35ANN: Yeah, let's go home. Let's just go home.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38SHE SHOUTS No! No!
0:14:39 > 0:14:40- No! - Easy!
0:14:40 > 0:14:42No! No, no, no, no, no!
0:14:42 > 0:14:44- OK, come with me, please. - Fine! I'd like to come with you.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Your friend, he acted like an ass.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47And you got to believe me, he didn't give me a choice.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Your name's Dave, right? Can I call you Dave?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53My mother likes David, but I'm pretty split on it, 50-50.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Hate to break it to you, Dave. You really stepped in it.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- What? - I'm a government employee, David,
0:14:58 > 0:15:00and so is your prisoner.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02If I wanted to, I could get on the horn,
0:15:02 > 0:15:05and I could have Ron Swanson down here, kicking down your doors.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09Yeah, that's right. You heard me. RON SWANSON.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14What branch of government are you in?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Parks and Recreation.
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Parks and Recreation?
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Yes. Do I stutter?
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Look, Ms Knope, it wasn't just his behaviour, OK?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27I think your friend might be some kind of a pervert.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29No. Look, that's what people think when they first meet him,
0:15:29 > 0:15:31but he's all talk. It's just...
0:15:31 > 0:15:33No, I'm being serious. We searched the van
0:15:33 > 0:15:35and we found a lot of disturbing things.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Some professional photography equipment,
0:15:37 > 0:15:39and these pictures of some people on a date.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42We also found an enormous amount of manure,
0:15:42 > 0:15:46and a very inappropriate amount of candy.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49OK, look. Tom and I were in that van together.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50We were staking out the community garden,
0:15:50 > 0:15:52because somebody planted marijuana in it.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55I brought the candy and I brought a lot of it, because I love candy.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58I took the pictures.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01My best friend was going on a date with my ex-lover.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03It's been a very long night.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06But Tom is not a pervert, and he shouldn't be in jail.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Well, they're going to release him in a little while.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Thank God!
0:16:13 > 0:16:14Should I get you guys home right now?
0:16:14 > 0:16:18You know, you two go ahead. I'm going to stay here and wait for Tom.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19Are you sure?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Yeah, prison changes a man.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23I think he'll probably want to see a familiar face
0:16:23 > 0:16:25when he gets back on the outside.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Well, OK, then. See you, Leslie.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Yo. I had to wait till my dad fell asleep so I could steal his keys.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40You ready?
0:16:40 > 0:16:41I was born ready.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46I'm Ron (BLEEP) Swanson.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Easy. Care...argh!
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Careful!
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Aargh! Take...aargh!
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Ann, I really don't think you should invite me in.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Terrible things happened last time. ANN LAUGHS
0:17:03 > 0:17:06So, I guess I'll just see you tomorrow.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- OK. - OK.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11- Bye. - Um...
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Hey. You kind of kissed me.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Yes, I did!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20And now we both have herpes. I'll see you later.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Leslie. Thanks for waiting. I appreciate it.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Mother Teresa, it's not your chocolate.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Don't... Get your hands off that.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43- Wake up. - What?
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Is this your house? Where are we?
0:17:45 > 0:17:46Hey. You're awake. >
0:17:46 > 0:17:50Oh, yeah. Thanks for the coat.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51It's no problem. You can keep it.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Really?
0:17:53 > 0:17:57Actually, no. I need that for my uniform.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59But I can give you a ride back to your car.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02OK. And we'll talk about the coat.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04I can't give it to you. Do you understand?
0:18:06 > 0:18:09So, where's that marijuana at?
0:18:09 > 0:18:10It's down in the garden.
0:18:10 > 0:18:11Good meeting you, man!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14We should grab a drink or something sometime.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17I just hope that Ann and Mark got home OK.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18That's all that matters, you know?
0:18:18 > 0:18:20That Ann is home and she's OK.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23And that Mark is also OK and he is in his home.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Just important that they're both in their homes...
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Leslie! Mark's an idiot.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29You can do a lot better than him.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Forget about him.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Thanks, Tom.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35I didn't mean me.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Keep it in your pants, Knope!
0:18:38 > 0:18:40I swear to God, it actually... It was there...
0:18:40 > 0:18:42These are carrots.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Duh! You don't think I know the difference
0:18:45 > 0:18:47between carrots and marijuana?
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Is that the house there, where your best friend lives?
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Where she saw the van from?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Yeah.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- OK. I get it. - What?
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Well, you wanted to check up on your friend and that guy, your ex,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02so you made up a story about weed
0:19:02 > 0:19:05so you could stake out their date.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06No, I did not. There actually was weed here...
0:19:06 > 0:19:09It's OK.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10I think it's kind of cute.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I like Miss Knope. I liked her. I got to say, I...
0:19:17 > 0:19:20When I first met her I didn't care much for her,
0:19:20 > 0:19:24because, like 99% of the people in any given day of my life,
0:19:24 > 0:19:27she was very belligerent and disagreeable.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Miss Knope was attractive to me.
0:19:29 > 0:19:34As a man, I was attracted to her in her demeanour.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38I was attracted to her in a sexual manner that was appropriate.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Can we not...I don't want to talk about this anymore.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45What a crazy night! Huh, partner?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Want to go get some breakfast?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50What? No! Take me home. What's wrong with you?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52"EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE" BY THE POLICE COMES ON CAR STEREO
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I can't believe this is on!
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- I wonder if mini golf is open... - Home!
0:20:02 > 0:20:06Anndanawicz! What are you guys doing? Eating? Love it!
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Oh, hey, just wanted to thank you
0:20:08 > 0:20:09for having me arrested as a pervert the other night.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12That was cool (!) Peace!
0:20:12 > 0:20:14We didn't think you were a pervert,
0:20:14 > 0:20:15we thought you were a criminal.
0:20:15 > 0:20:20For the record, I still actually kind of think he's a pervert.