0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Good morning.- Whoo! Swiss Family Ron-binson! That hat is dope.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- Thanks, Tom.- You mind if I rock that bad Larry on my dome?
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Wear it? On my head? Try it on the ladies?
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Be my guest.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Hi, I'm Tom. I have a raccoon on my head.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22Excuse me? My friend over here was digging through your trash
0:00:22 > 0:00:24and I think we may have a lot in common. I'm Tom.
0:00:24 > 0:00:25Would you like to see a movie sometime?
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Are you a raccoon?
0:00:28 > 0:00:32Because you've been running around my hat all d... Head all day.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Girl, you're more precious than Precious.
0:00:35 > 0:00:42- Uh-uh.- "Nice hat. Wanna bone?" That's you, talking to me.- No.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47How about, "Yes, I am a hunter, and it's you season."
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Whoa, that's great. I gotta get back out there.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54You know what they say - animal on the head, manimal in the bed.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Damn, girl! Your hotness killed my raccoon!
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I have a raccoon hat. I'm an interesting person.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Hello!
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Any luck?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Nope. Didn't work out as well as I thought it would.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Well, better luck next time.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I tried. It just didn't seem like...
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Wow. I love that hat!
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Thank you, ma'am.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Hey, Ron. I have a surprise for you.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Meet me at Harvey James Park at 11:30.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Why? - It's a surprise!
0:01:41 > 0:01:42What's the surprise?
0:01:42 > 0:01:43If I told you, it would ruin the surprise.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44What's the surprise it would ruin?
0:01:44 > 0:01:45I cannot tell you that.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Leslie, my first wife, Tammy,
0:01:47 > 0:01:49tried throwing me a surprise birthday party.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51When I saw my friends hiding through the window,
0:01:51 > 0:01:53I drove to a gas station, called the cops
0:01:53 > 0:01:55and told them people had broken into my home.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57I'm not big on surprises.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59OK, but you're going to like this one.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00What is it? I'm not telling you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02And I'm not going to tell anybody!
0:02:04 > 0:02:05OK. I'll tell you!
0:02:05 > 0:02:08We're putting together the Parks Department Summer Catalogue.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12And the big surprise is I am going to reunite
0:02:12 > 0:02:15all the living former Parks Directors at a picnic,
0:02:15 > 0:02:16record the whole thing,
0:02:16 > 0:02:19and then write about it in the Welcome Letter.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21'It's the biggest catalogue of the year.'
0:02:21 > 0:02:24'Think of the September issue of Vogue.'
0:02:24 > 0:02:25'But it's more important to Pawnee.'
0:02:25 > 0:02:27'Mainly because we don't get Vogue here.'
0:02:27 > 0:02:31I'm going to move this Yearning ad to the centrefold.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Centrefold, always the best part. Am I right, Justin?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Damn, they broke up six weeks ago. - Yeah.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Jerry, I need to see your softball pictures.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Here you go, Chief.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Wow, good job. Nice work. Whoa!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Ooh, wait a minute. Isn't that that creepy guy?
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Morgan? The paedophile?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Yeah, it is.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- OTHERS: Oh, my God. Oh, Jerry! - I didn't know that!
0:02:51 > 0:02:54He seemed OK. We had dinner together.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Guys, I don't know if I made it clear,
0:02:56 > 0:02:58but I don't want any sex offenders in our Parks catalogue.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00OK, I will Photoshop his face.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04OK, April. Enough.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Cover photo. Tom, you're up.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08This catalogue is basically, like, an ad for the Parks Department,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10and I love ads.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13'I love magazine ads for flavoured vodkas,'
0:03:13 > 0:03:15'billboards for designer jeans.'
0:03:15 > 0:03:17'I TiVo through shows to get to the ads.'
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I love ads.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22What are we trying to do with this catalogue?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24We're trying to sell Pawnee on our summer classes.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28How do we do that? With one perfect, captivating image.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30April?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Modern life. Where are we running?
0:03:32 > 0:03:36Sometimes, what we want is not always where we are.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Next slide.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Are we alone?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Is the real winter inside our hearts?
0:03:42 > 0:03:44We are all struggling for definition
0:03:44 > 0:03:46in a world that resists our inquiries.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47OK, this isn't going to work for a number of reasons.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49One, this is a summer catalogue.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Two, that was complete gibberish.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53And three, that child looks like it's abandoned.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56So, basically, boo.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Next slide.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Oh, God. Weird. How did that...?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06That's a personal photo. That's... Shouldn't be... This must've...
0:04:07 > 0:04:08You know, I gotta say,
0:04:08 > 0:04:10I think that could actually work as our cover photo.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12I'm cool with it, if you guys are. It's a high-res photo.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14I don't know if I have time for this, guys,
0:04:14 > 0:04:15so, let's just pick a good photo, OK?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18What do you want, Leslie? A picture of parents pushing a kid on a swing?
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Yeah. Exactly. Get me that.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22OK. I gotta go.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26What is he thinking?
0:04:26 > 0:04:28"Why is my cup so tiny?"
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Hey. What are you doing here?
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Happy six-month anniversary. I got you a gift.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39It's a chicken salad sandwich.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41And I don't want you to feel bad
0:04:41 > 0:04:43about not getting me anything, because I would never expect...
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Swiss Army Watch, mofo.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Well done, Perkins. Wow!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Like it?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Thank you so much. That's so nice.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Are you allowed to kiss me in a hospital room?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Oh, don't worry about it. He's dead.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58Oh, my God.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Oh, no, I'm just kidding, he's sleeping.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Oh, OK.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04'Yeah, our relationship is going well. Really well.'
0:05:05 > 0:05:07That guy really seemed dead.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Nice!
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Here, catch this.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- HE LAUGHS - You got me in the face! Oh!
0:05:17 > 0:05:19That one hurt. You've a good arm.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21I know. I used to play softball in high school.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- Shut up! I played baseball in high school.- Shut up!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Yeah, that's like, the boy version of softball.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Guys, don't play with the food, OK? We need this for the picnic.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30- Do we have everything? - Yes, ma'am.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Three picnic baskets, assorted cheeses, grapes, wine.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Smoked salmon?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36April threw the smoked salmon on the roof.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39I'm sorry.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Where's Leslie? She just texted me from your phone
0:05:41 > 0:05:43and said she left her phone at home
0:05:43 > 0:05:44and that I should come here immediately.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46And why did I believe that?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Maybe in your heart you knew it was from me, but you came anyway.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Nope.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Tom, would you please stop texting me that you're having a city planning emergency?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56There's no such thing as a city planning emergency.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Hi, there.
0:05:57 > 0:05:57Hi.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Look at you two.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03Ann Perkins, Mark Brendanawicz. Anndanawicz.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Or Merkins. No, Anndanawicz.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07You two should be models.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11Maybe on the cover of the Parks Department Summer Catalogue?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13That's not the reason you called me in here, right?
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Cos I just finished a 12-hour shift. If that's the reason...
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Come on, Ann. It'd be a huge favour for Leslie.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18You know how important this is to her.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- Well, I am in. - Dude!
0:06:20 > 0:06:21I am.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25We don't have any pictures of just the two of us.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Plus, I've always said we should go on more dates with Tom.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32Yeah, you have. And thank God an opportunity presented itself.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- See? Win-win.- Now, Ann, you're going to change, right?
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- I guess.- Would it kill you to maybe put on some lipstick?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Do you even own lipstick?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42This is probably the first time in history, these four great men
0:06:42 > 0:06:44have been in the same place at the same time.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45It kind of makes you...
0:06:47 > 0:06:48What is this?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Sweater swap! She noticed - you were right.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51Oh, my God. Somebody's here.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53OK. Guys, just act normal. Please?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Be like normal people.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Hello! Hi! David Moser! I'm Leslie Knope.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59It is such an honour to meet you.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Right. How long is this going to take?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Oh, not very long. I realise, of course, you're a very busy man.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06I love parks.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09I don't know if that's something I've communicated before.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10'So, having a picnic'
0:07:10 > 0:07:13'with all the former living Parks Department Directors...'
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Guess who just checked something off her bucket list?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Clarence Carrington, David Moser,
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Michael Tansley, Ron Swanson,
0:07:20 > 0:07:24gathered together on a beautiful day in this beautiful park.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25I think we should just take a moment
0:07:25 > 0:07:28and appreciate how lucky we are.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29I thought you were dead, Clarence.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32No. I'm going to outlive you, then I'm going to nail your wife.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Screw you, you old coot.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Classic David. You're worse than Ron.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Shut your damn mouth, Tansley.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39OK! Great! Let's go!
0:07:40 > 0:07:42When I say "parks", you say "department"!
0:07:42 > 0:07:43Parks!
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Parks!
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Apartment!
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Oh, boy. This is taking a lot longer than I thought it would.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- Can you guys run up ahead and set up the picnic?- Sure.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Where are they going with the food?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59I'm starving. I only had one breakfast.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Relax. Look, what was going on back there?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Why all the sniping?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Not exactly sure. The only one I know is Michael,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07- and we're not exactly best friends. - Hmm.- I'm hungry.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09OK, well, don't be such a baby.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13- I ate it already. - What?!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15I could smell it in your purse before I even parked my car.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19And now it's gone. And I hate everything.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22Good, good, good...
0:08:22 > 0:08:26All right, I think we got the boring cliched shot Leslie wanted.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28That's it? We're done?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Not even close.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Now the real art begins.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36Step one, nail this photo shoot with an amazing, iconic image.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39'Step two, book some outside gigs.'
0:08:39 > 0:08:41'Step three, have sex with a model.'
0:08:41 > 0:08:46Step four, step in front of the camera, become a model.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50Go, yes! Keep slithering! Keep slithering!
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Ann, can you give me something, anything, in the face?
0:08:53 > 0:08:54What do you want me to do?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Do what Mark's doing. He's doing great!
0:08:56 > 0:08:57Keep slithering!
0:08:57 > 0:09:00I'm not doing anything, so...
0:09:00 > 0:09:04OK, Clarence, um, why don't you describe
0:09:04 > 0:09:05the first Summer Pawnee Catalogue.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09I remember. That first year we offered four classes.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I actually taught Homemaking.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Women were not allowed to teach back then.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Really? I thought there were female teachers way before then.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Not in my department.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Well, times have changed.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24I'm Deputy Director now,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26but I'm hoping someday to be the first female director of the department.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Oh, I don't think that's a good idea.
0:09:28 > 0:09:34Women need a lot of blood to flow through to their baby centres,
0:09:34 > 0:09:37which leaves less to the brain, you see.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Yep. Mm-hm. Sure.
0:09:39 > 0:09:45I'd stay away from leadership roles, for your own safety.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48No! No!
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Maybe I should write a song about a picnic.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Ooh, where'd you come up with that idea?
0:09:54 > 0:09:55The picnic we're having.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59'I already have the perfect title, Life is a Picnic.'
0:09:59 > 0:10:03'That's good. How about Life is a Picnic...with You?'
0:10:03 > 0:10:08Whoa! Then it could be about a girl. Or Peyton Manning!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Hm. You want to help me write the lyrics?
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Yeah, totally.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15We should grab a drink after this at Tucker's.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Yeah, I would do that. That sounds fun.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I just have to get my stuff from the office.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23But that's... That'd be cool.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26David, what was it exactly that called you to the Parks Department?
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Well, I was in Public Works for eight years.
0:10:30 > 0:10:35But the director was pretty young. Clarence was old and weak.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38So, I put in for a transfer, swooped in and pushed him out.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Uh, there was no other reason you wanted the job?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44No. Just the money and the pension.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Actual job's a nightmare.
0:10:46 > 0:10:51I mean, who gives a crap about this...crap.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Well, David, I think we've talked enough.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Mark, that's great. Bobby, great.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Ann, you look miserable!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Terrible. Terrible!
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Come on, Ann. What are we doing? Maxim or Good Housekeeping?
0:11:05 > 0:11:08I'm not sure which one is the insult.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Hey, if there's anyone out there that's doing a photo shoot
0:11:10 > 0:11:13about the dangers of eating undercooked chicken,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15I can give you Ann's phone number.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17OK, let's stop for a second.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- Bobby, I love how you work.- Yay!
0:11:19 > 0:11:20You can have as many juice boxes as you want.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23In fact, grab me one, too. Make it an apple.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Mark, great job, you can have a juice box, too.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Ann, take a walk with me.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31In a million years, I never thought you would be the problem with this photo shoot.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Didn't you just plan this, like, two hours ago?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I just don't get it.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37How could someone so hot be so bad at looking hot?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40I'm sorry I'm not a professional model.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42And screaming, "Make your face better!" doesn't help.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Well, I'm sorry, your face just isn't working.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47And we need to do something to distract from this boring area.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Now, I didn't want to have to do this, but we may have to go nude.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Goodbye, Tom!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Fair enough. I totally understand. But we should get one for safety.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56OK, guys. We're almost there. It's right up here.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58You really shouldn't be leading us.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00If you're menstruating, you'll attract bears.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Holy God. OK.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Here we are.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Eat!
0:12:06 > 0:12:09'Well, it hasn't gone exactly as I've hoped.'
0:12:09 > 0:12:12But I got them all here and we're going to have a beautiful picnic.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16It's going to... It's going to be good.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Hey. Hey! I just whizzed on a butterfly!
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Well, gentlemen, as you know, I'm working on my welcome letter for the Summer Catalogue.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27You should just copy the Eagleton one.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31I used to just copy the Eagleton one.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Did you? I was hoping that maybe you could talk to me
0:12:33 > 0:12:35a little bit about how the department has changed since you ran it.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Well, I think you've done a wonderful job maintaining the parks.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Thank you, Michael. I appreciate that.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Did you enjoy your turn at the helm?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44In a way. Pencil pushing wasn't my thing, but I did love the parks themselves.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- That was the best part of the job. - Oh, isn't it? I totally agree.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Well, thank goodness for you.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Yes, thank goodness for Michael.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Are you still on parole, by the way?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Oh, ha, ha. Very funny, Ron.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59Yes. Yes, Ron, I am.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- What?- He smoked pot. In the office. And in all the parks. Constantly.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03In fairness to me, it was a different time.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06It was the early '90s.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10But also, it's ridiculous that marijuana is illegal.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Thomas Jefferson grew hemp.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Alcohol is legal, but pot isn't?
0:13:15 > 0:13:18That makes sense to you, Ron?
0:13:18 > 0:13:20I'm sorry, I can't hear hippies.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24So, if you had to sleep with one of the old guys, who would it be?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25- The super-old one. - Really?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Mm-hm. I'm an eyebrow girl.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32I want to make out with him and chew his eyebrows off.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34That is really gross.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35Anybody got any water?
0:13:35 > 0:13:39"Oh, I want water. I'm so old, I need to drink water."
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Oh, stop it, stop taunting him!
0:13:42 > 0:13:44I don't need your help, jailbird.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47If there's any unclaimed meat or cheese, I would like to claim it.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Like you claimed my job?
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Yes. Exactly like that, in that I wanted it, and then I took it.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Guys, you know I would love if anybody just said something positive
0:13:53 > 0:13:55about - oh, I don't know - anything.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59I agree. Let's just relax, smoke another J, and all calm down.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Another?!
0:14:00 > 0:14:04By the way, it's ridiculous that pot is illegal.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06It grows in the ground!
0:14:06 > 0:14:10I've planted marijuana in community gardens all over the city,
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- and it hasn't hurt anyone! - What?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- Michael, you are one pot-loving mother- BLEEP- and mother- BLEEP- pain in the rectum.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17OK, stop it! Stop it! You're being awful, horrible men!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Uh-oh, your little friend come to visit?
0:14:20 > 0:14:21GUFFAWING
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Clarence, if you mention anything about women,
0:14:24 > 0:14:26or menstruation, or anything,
0:14:26 > 0:14:30I'm going to take your face and shove it in those brambles!
0:14:30 > 0:14:31- Yes! - No! You're next, buddy!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33ANDY! Let's take this picture.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Come on! Get out of your seats, turds.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36line up over there. Come on.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Just, please, try to look human.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39All right? And not so evil.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Everybody looking here. One, two, three.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Thank you so much for the wonderful memories.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Everybody take their stuff and go.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Ooh, ooh, ooh. Can we do one funny-face one?
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Do you have that picture Andy took? Maybe I'll run it without text.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Yeah.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54I tried to Photoshop it to make it look like they were happy.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57It was really hard. Their mouths are so old.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59God! Look at these horrible men.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01You know, I don't even know if I want them in my catalogue.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Would you like these men in your catalogue?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Oh, my God, April. That's disgusting.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08What? Look how generous they're being with each other.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10And here's the Obstruction series.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12What do you think? Amazing, right?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14I call this one The Future.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17It's completely blurry.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18Yes, it is, Ann.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22What about the ones we took on the swing? The normal ones?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24You mean the Unhappy Wife photos?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Oh, my God. These are even worse, somehow.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31I look miserable.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32You do look kind of miserable.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Now you know what I meant by "Make your face better."
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Was there something wrong, Ann?
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Well, I had just gotten off a long shift. He was being really annoying.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Mark looks happy.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Just please don't use these, OK?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Let's grab some dinner.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48Sure.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Hey, Ron. You want me to read you
0:15:51 > 0:15:53what I have so far in my welcome letter?
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Nothing. Because you and your jerk predecessors
0:15:56 > 0:15:58didn't give me anything to work with.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Did you print this out? I heard the printer going.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02Yes.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04You could've just handed me a blank piece of paper.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Oh! Wisdom! Finally.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Thank you so much.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09You can also keep the photo.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10Thanks for the memories.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Good God. I don't remember this.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15That...That's the wrong one.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17But the real one's very bad, as well.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I want you to know that I'm replacing the Welcome Letter
0:16:19 > 0:16:21with this ad for Yearning by Dennis Feinstein.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24So goodbye, distilled wisdom of 50 years of experience.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Hello, disgusting fragrance flap!
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Let me buy you dinner.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30No. I insist you buy me dinner.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34- ID?- I'm 24.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36No, you're not.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38OK, I'm 25.
0:16:38 > 0:16:39No old jokes, please.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40ID.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50It says right here you're 20.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53You're not even going to show me a fake?
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Sometimes the confidence confuses people.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57You're good, bro.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01You know what? I think I'll just... I'm going to...
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Hey, I know another bar that always lets me in,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06if you just want to go there.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Uh... Yeah, actually, I should get going home.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11I have a lot of stuff to do.
0:17:11 > 0:17:16So, I should go home. Clean and stuff. But...
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Yeah, OK, cool.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Yeah, I gotta go home, too. So...
0:17:20 > 0:17:21All right.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23See you!
0:17:25 > 0:17:26Later.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29The usual, Marta.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Me, too, Marta.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32You got it.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Oh, Ron, I really made love to the pooch on this one.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Screwed the pooch?
0:17:37 > 0:17:40I don't like that term, it's so vulgar.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Rrrron...!
0:17:43 > 0:17:46That sucked, today. I'm sorry, there's no other way to say it.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48They're a bunch of career bureaucrats.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50What did you think they were going to say to you?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52"Leslie, you are the next link in a wonderful chain
0:17:52 > 0:17:53"that stretches back to when our town was founded,
0:17:53 > 0:17:55"and we believe in you and we support you
0:17:55 > 0:17:57"and we'll be following your career.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59"You are the chosen one."
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Or something.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Well, OK, so, that was the problem.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05No. You know what the worst part is I want to be Parks Director.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08But every single person who was Parks Director hated their job
0:18:08 > 0:18:09and hated everyone they worked with.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Are we going to hate each other someday?
0:18:15 > 0:18:19I don't think so. I think we're going to be fine.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Anyway, the point's moot,
0:18:21 > 0:18:24because you're Park Director now and you're not going anywhere
0:18:24 > 0:18:26and I'm not making you go anywhere.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28I'm not going to stab you in the back or anything, so...
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Maybe I should go somewhere. Maybe I should move, to Eagleton.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Oh, God, the thought of that.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Leslie, you don't have to move to Eagleton.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39When I become City Manager, my job is yours.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Of course, my first act as City Manager
0:18:43 > 0:18:45will be to propose eliminating the Parks Department.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Although I expect a spirited debate with Leslie.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Who knows what the future holds for me?
0:18:50 > 0:18:55Maybe I'll leapfrog Ron's job and become City Manager.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Of course, my first act as City Manager
0:18:57 > 0:18:59would be to double the size of the Parks Department.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Although, I do expect a fight from Ron.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05But I'll win.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Mmm! Thank you, darling.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12People are idiots, Leslie.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- BOTH:- Mmmm!
0:19:18 > 0:19:19The wait is over!
0:19:19 > 0:19:20- ALL:- Oh, yay!
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Look what's here. We got...
0:19:24 > 0:19:27'"My fellow Pawneeans... Yes, it's here!'
0:19:27 > 0:19:30'"The Parks Department's Summer Catalogue has arrived'
0:19:30 > 0:19:33'"and for the first time in 20 years, tennis is back!'
0:19:33 > 0:19:35'"Peruse this wondrous book at your leisure'
0:19:35 > 0:19:39'"and take advantage of everything this great town has to offer.'
0:19:39 > 0:19:41'"Time is fleeting, my fellow Pawneeans.'
0:19:41 > 0:19:43'"Make the most of it, while you can.'
0:19:44 > 0:19:46"I recently had the honour of spending an afternoon
0:19:46 > 0:19:49"with every living former Parks Director,
0:19:49 > 0:19:51"and they taught me a valuable lesson,
0:19:51 > 0:19:54"there is nothing more important than friendship."
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- It's a little flowery. - Shut up.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02I gotta hand it to Michael.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04His water-pipe-making skills were most impressive.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08I once saw him smoke pot out of a 20-foot length of garden hose
0:20:08 > 0:20:09and a milk jug.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12- That guy made a water pipe out of a stuffed raccoon.- No way!
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- I'm not kidding.- He made a bong out of a taxidermied raccoon?
0:20:15 > 0:20:17I caught him smoking pot out of it
0:20:17 > 0:20:19not three feet from where we're standing.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23OH! Nice shot!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Right in Clarence's ancient junk.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28- In the neck!- OH!