0:00:02 > 0:00:03- HIGH PITCHED VOICES - What's going on here?
0:00:03 > 0:00:05- Puppy!- A puppy is here! - Can we keep him?
0:00:05 > 0:00:08My neighbour's dog had a litter. Looking for people to adopt.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10- I love him! - I wish he had tiny puppy shoes.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13I would totally shine his little shoes for free.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15- ALL:- Aw...! - I do say the cutest stuff!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Look, I love a good dog as much as the next guy,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21but this building doesn't allow animals. Andy, take him outside.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24- What, and shoot him? - No. Just keep him outside.
0:00:24 > 0:00:28Oh, come on, Ron. I'm just a little puppy.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31I ain't done nothing wrong. I'm just a puppy.
0:00:32 > 0:00:33Oh. I like your moustache.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36I wish I could have one. But I can't.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Because I'm just a little puppy.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43OK, take him out and shoot him.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Fire! Fire! Fire!
0:01:04 > 0:01:05What? Where?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07In my belly. Because the 24-hour
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Pawnee Cares Diabetes Telethon starts tonight.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Goody. Let us know how it went.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Every year, Pawnee Cares teams up with the local cable access station
0:01:16 > 0:01:19to raise money for diabetes research.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20And it's important,
0:01:20 > 0:01:23because Pawnee is the fourth-fattest town in the US.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25It goes us, Dallas, Tulsa
0:01:25 > 0:01:28and certain parts of The Mall of America.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Well, this year, I get to program my own four-hour block.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34I know. Exciting!
0:01:34 > 0:01:37So, I have signed you all up for multiple shifts.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Yes, just to answer phones and provide moral support.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41From when to when?
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Tonight.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43From... 2:00am to 6:00am
0:01:43 > 0:01:44- ALL:- What?!
0:01:44 > 0:01:45No. Leslie, please.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Tonight's kind of a big night.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51All my kids are away, and...
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Gross! No! It's Jerry's sex night.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55That ruins sex AND tonight.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Why don't you put on one of these T-shirts? It'll get you in the mood.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00I stayed up all night last night making these.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02You stayed up all night the night before an all-night telethon.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Yes. And here's why. Boom.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07"Diabetes. Let's Dia-beat-this."
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Yeah. Four hours to come up with the slogan.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13- Four hours to embroider them. - Time well spent.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Salad sucks. There. I said it.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Feel better? - Yep.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18I've been doing some thinking.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20I'm not going to ask Ann to move in with me.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- Why? Is something wrong?- No. I'm going to ask her to marry me.
0:02:23 > 0:02:28- I love her...- Horseback!- ..and I want a partner.- Ask her on horseback.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30- What?- No, you should ask her in a hot-air balloon.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- No.- She should be on the hot-air balloon,
0:02:32 > 0:02:33and you should ride up on horseback.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Oh. Wait. She's in the balloon, you ride up on horseback,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38you point to the sky, up there, skywriting, "Marry me, Ann."
0:02:38 > 0:02:40I think I can figure out the right way to ask her.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44How you ask someone to marry you is a very big deal.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I mean, they have to repeat that story for the rest of their lives.
0:02:46 > 0:02:47So, you think I should do it, though.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Can you get five eagles?
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- No, get ten eagles.- Leslie... - No, you're right. It's your life.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Get as many eagles as you want.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56So, Tom, you're in for tonight, right?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58I forgot to tell you. I can't make it to the telethon tonight,
0:02:58 > 0:03:00because I have no interest in being there.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03OK. You're in charge of the VIP special telethon guest.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06You'll never believe who I got. People are going to freak out.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Rihanna.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08- No.- Dr Oz.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09Nope. You're never going to guess.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Justin Bieber.
0:03:11 > 0:03:16No. Ex-Indiana Pacers small forward - Detlef Schrempf.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19THE Detlef Schrempf?!
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I know! So, it's really exciting.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23- Wow.- And I need you to be his body-man.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Pick him up at the airport at 7:00pm.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27And then, you know, just entertain him.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Because he doesn't need to be in hair and make-up until 2:00am.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Does Pawnee Cable Access even have hair and make-up?
0:03:31 > 0:03:35Well, they have a communal lipstick and a box of combs.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36As a nurse and as your friend,
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I highly suggest you don't try to stay up for the next 24 hours.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40I can definitely do it.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44I've already been up for 24 hours. But I have a secret weapon.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48NutriYum bars? Leslie.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50I know, I know. They're terrible.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52But they give me an insane 15-minute burst.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Plus, my nana used to tell me, "You'll sleep when you're dead."
0:03:55 > 0:03:57My nana, she used to say the best stuff.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58"Don't work yourself into a lather."
0:03:58 > 0:04:00"Look where it is and you'll find it."
0:04:00 > 0:04:01"Don't put me in a home."
0:04:01 > 0:04:03"Tell the truth and shame the devil."
0:04:03 > 0:04:04"The devil knows where you're hiding."
0:04:04 > 0:04:08"If you take enough rides with the devil, pretty soon, he's going to drive."
0:04:08 > 0:04:10She was really into the devil.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11I have not checked in with you lately.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13I'm randomly and casually asking.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14How are things going with Mark?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Things are good.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Do you think he's the one?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20The one? I don't know. Maybe.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Good.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23I'm here. What do I have to do?
0:04:23 > 0:04:28I have you on phone-answering duty from 4:00 to 6:00am.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31That's horrible. I have to nap up.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34If I don't get a solid five, it kills my sunny disposition.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Got enough legroom back there?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Yeah. Yeah, you don't have to sit so far up.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Yeah, I do.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42So, Detlef Schrempf.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Three-time NBA All-Star, two-time Sixth Man Award winner.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48It must have been pretty cool to be traded to the Pacers in exchange
0:04:48 > 0:04:50for veteran centre... Herb Williams.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52So, you looked me up on Wikipedia, huh?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55No. Everybody knows that.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Just like everybody knows you appeared
0:04:58 > 0:05:00in two episodes of the German soap opera
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Gute Zeiten Schlechte Zeiten.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03What, you a big fan of that show?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Huge fan.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Huh? Oh, 6'10".
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I'm 5'6" and three quarters.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13All right, team, you guys psyched?
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Just remember, all you need to do is
0:05:14 > 0:05:15take down everybody's name and address
0:05:15 > 0:05:17and ask them how much they want to donate.
0:05:17 > 0:05:18Hey, do these phones dial out?
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Yes. Why?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- No reason. - Leslie, you know what?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24My phone has 25 lines. I think it might be a switchboard.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Congratulations, then. You got the most lines.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Figure it out, Jerry.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Come on, Jerry.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Everyone else has one line.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Oh! So, Leslie, I hear you'll be in front of the camera this year.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- Yeah. It's exciting. - Cut the chatter. Tele-hosting?
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Not as easy as it looks. OK? This isn't C-SPAN.
0:05:41 > 0:05:46This is Local Access 46. Don't blow it.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Good evening and welcome to the tenth annual
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Pawnee Cares Diabetes Telethon.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53I'm Pawnee Today's Joan Callamezzo.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56And I am not a crook.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58No, he's not.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00What time is it? I'm tired already.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04It's 8:03. Your shift doesn't start for another six hours.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Diabetes. Yuck.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Tonight, we're hoping
0:06:08 > 0:06:09the people of Pawnee
0:06:09 > 0:06:11dig their big, chubby hands
0:06:11 > 0:06:13into their plus-size pockets
0:06:13 > 0:06:15and donate generously.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Weird wacky stuff.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18(Stop it.)
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Coming up, a very special video presentation called
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Even My Tongue is Fat:
0:06:24 > 0:06:25The Story of Pawnee.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27But right now, to begin with,
0:06:27 > 0:06:29let's start things off in our telethon with a song.
0:06:29 > 0:06:34From Pawnee's most bookable personality, Denise Yermley!
0:06:38 > 0:06:41# Sweet dreams are made of this... #
0:06:41 > 0:06:42No-one cares.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Hello, hello. Here you go. Right up there.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Hel.... Good ev... Pawnee...
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Who's next?
0:06:49 > 0:06:50I feel great.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Everything is running smoothly.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55# Some of them want to use you... #
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Clipboard mouth. Clipboard mouth.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02There's some secret ingredient in these NutriYum bars
0:07:02 > 0:07:03that makes me feel so good.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Sugar. It's a block of sugar.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Aaaarh!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Leslie? Leslie.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Tigers.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Hey, you told me to wake you up at 1:45.- Yep.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16- It's 1:45 now.- I'm up.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18I need to pull it together. My slot is coming up.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Hey, before you go on, can I just talk to you about something?
0:07:21 > 0:07:24- PHONE RINGS - Wait a minute. Sorry.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26It's Tom. He may have a Schrempf problem.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27- OK.- You understand that, right?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29- I do. Take it.- TB continued, Ann.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30- I promise.- We'll talk later?
0:07:30 > 0:07:31- Yes.- OK.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Hey! Hi. Are you on your way?
0:07:33 > 0:07:36'The Snakehole is booming!'
0:07:36 > 0:07:38People are loving Detlef Schrempf.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I had no idea professional athletes were so popular.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43That's awesome. But you promised to get him here.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47- Get him here.- Don't worry. We're leaving soon, all right?- Bye!
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Oh, you can't leave.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Tommy, this is the most business the club's done in months.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52But I've got to get him to the telethon.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54He's not going anywhere.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58OK. Oh, God. Problem.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Andy, I know I told you that you were going
0:08:00 > 0:08:02on at 3:00am after the Detlef Schrempf
0:08:02 > 0:08:04interview and career retrospective, but you're going on now.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- You're kicking things off. - Whoa! Sweet. Headlining.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Yeah. At 2:00am. On Cable Access.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Yeah. Let's go.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17So, how are things going with you two?
0:08:17 > 0:08:18They're going really well.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22We're going to get married and I'm pregnant with his child.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Thank you, Joan.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28There are two types of diabetes, but only one type of caring.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Type One caring.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34And tonight, God willing, we will all be stricken with that.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35There's a lot of fun stuff coming up.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Indiana Pacers legend, Detlef Schrempf,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41will be joining us in the studio later on.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43But until then, I would like to introduce
0:08:43 > 0:08:46one of the hottest bands in Pawnee.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mouse Rat.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53# I know that life is crazy
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Well, OK. Slight hiccup. But we're back on track.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58See that board?
0:08:58 > 0:09:02When my shift is done, that board is going to read 20,000.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07"Pawnee Cares."
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Hi. Yes, I'd like to donate 50, please.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11"Mmm-hmm. Leslie?"
0:09:14 > 0:09:16# You've got sex hair... #
0:09:16 > 0:09:19God, we're not getting any donations coming in.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21I'm tired of waiting for people to call us.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Let's call them. Everybody call somebody.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Leslie, it's the middle of the night. - Then, good. They'll be home.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Donna, someone good?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29No, I'm talking to my brother, George.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31You're not supposed to receive personal phone calls.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Oh, I called him. He's in Liberia visiting my uncle.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Wants to know what happened on Lost.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Oh, thank God. Here you go.- Thank you.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39I have no idea.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40Did you put cream in this?
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Uh, yeah. Did I screw up?
0:09:42 > 0:09:45- No, I can drink it.- You sure? - Guys, has anyone seen Tom?
0:09:45 > 0:09:49The ultimate celebrity, I think, to hang out with for a night would be...
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Criss Angel.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Like you'd be talking to him, and then, he would just turn into fire.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55TOM LAUGHS
0:09:55 > 0:10:00Brooks Brothers Boys is like, the cuts are slimmer and it's cheaper.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Win-win.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Do you ever talk to someone and you're just like,
0:10:03 > 0:10:07"Oh. We're gonna be best friends"? I'm getting that, right now.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09He had two beers. Light beers.
0:10:11 > 0:10:12I need you to make that out,
0:10:12 > 0:10:15"To Wendy. Tom is an amazing guy.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17"You never should have left him.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19"You made a huge mistake in your life,
0:10:19 > 0:10:22"and you're probably going to die alone. Love, Detlef."
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Do you know what, I think we should be heading to that telethon.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29Yes, we will definitely go to the telethon soon. After this song!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31# Hopped up outta bed
0:10:31 > 0:10:33# Turn my swag on
0:10:33 > 0:10:35# Took a look in the mirror, said, "What's up?"... #
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Ron? Ron. Wake up.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Ron, wake up. It's Leslie.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45ARGH! God! Were you having a bad dream?
0:10:45 > 0:10:49No. I suffer from a disorder called sleep fighting.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50That must be terrible.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Only when I'm losing.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Look, I'm freaking out, OK?
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Tom is not here, and he's got Detlef Schrempf.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58And I have three hours to fill.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59I'm sure you'll figure something out.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Don't go back to sleep. OK? I need you to wake up. Ron? Come on.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Help me. Attaboy.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08I am only here because I owe Leslie a thousand favours.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11I'm not big on charities.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21He's a grown man. Fishing is not that hard.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27OK, that was the national anthem of Canada.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31And now, I'm going to see how long I can hold a D chord.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35April, will you call some of the Rec Center teachers
0:11:35 > 0:11:37and see if they want to come down and show off their special skills?
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Yes. Nod your head yes.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40I can do magic.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43Egg, my lady?
0:11:43 > 0:11:44Jerry, that's disgusting and fake!
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Oh, my God. It's real. Go up there and do that.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48You broke my egg.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49You don't have a second egg?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51No, but I'm a very good piano player. I'd be happy to go up there
0:11:51 > 0:11:53- and give it a shot. - Why are you wasting my time?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55This is really serious!
0:11:55 > 0:11:59You go keep your eye out for Tom. I've got this covered.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01When re-caning an old chair,
0:12:01 > 0:12:05one needs to make sure that one has all the right elements in place.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Over. Under.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11And...you guessed it. Over.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13God, he's actually losing money.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17Over. Under. This chair is almost caning itself.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22No. Sir, if you want to make a donation, you have to... Yeah.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24That sounds really cool.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26You sound cool.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28You sound really strong.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29Hey, why don't you forget about the donation
0:12:29 > 0:12:32and just come down here and meet me in person.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34What?
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Oh, my God. You're so funny.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40You're funny. Bye.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42- Hey. - Hey.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Funny girl you were talking to?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46When it comes to preparing taxes...
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Oh, my God. This is a disaster.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53The only thing that's taxing is deciding which software to buy.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55I am completely screwed.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59I have no Schrempf, no back-up plan, no more NutriYum bars.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02What do people want to watch? Cute animals on a bike?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05No time to train one. Hot people kissing?
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I don't know. Maybe Mark and Ann would...
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Have you ever seen this man sleep? It's like underwater ballet.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14I have a great idea.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15What's that?
0:13:15 > 0:13:18I think you should propose to Ann tonight.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Today. Whatever it is.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21On camera.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23For diabetes.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- Really? - Yes. It would be so cool.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Don't you remember when Ahmad Rashad proposed to Mrs Cosby on TV?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31- No.- I do.
0:13:31 > 0:13:32Most women do.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34On television, though?
0:13:35 > 0:13:36- Yes, but...- Oh, my God!
0:13:36 > 0:13:38We talked about it being something big. Right.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41And I don't think we can get a hot-air balloon at this time of night.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43I have my grandma's ring.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I guess I could go home and get it.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Is there a story behind it?
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Was she on the Titanic? Was she on the Titanic?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53No. She was just my grandma.
0:13:53 > 0:13:58It would make a great story. I trust Leslie. I don't know.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00What do you think I should do?
0:14:01 > 0:14:06And that concludes a quick look at QuickBook...s Pro.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09"Quick Book...s."
0:14:09 > 0:14:12OK. Thank you so much, Barney, for that.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Thank you. (Go.)
0:14:16 > 0:14:17We'd like to make a quick announcement.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Detlef Schrempf is temporarily delayed.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24But coming soon, a really amazing thing is going to happen.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28So, get your wallets out - or get your handkerchiefs out.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Or get your tissues out,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31if you're like me and think handkerchiefs are gross.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35For now, please, let's take a look at this moving video entitled,
0:14:35 > 0:14:37One Butt, Two Seats:
0:14:37 > 0:14:39The Widening of America.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43No. Ann. Wait. Ann, Ann!
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Where are you going? Just stay a little while longer.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47Leslie, I'm so beat.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49I'm so sorry that I've been crazy.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50What did you want to talk to me about?
0:14:50 > 0:14:51No worries. It can wait.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53No, no. What is it?
0:14:54 > 0:14:57I think I need to break up with Mark.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01I've just been feeling for a while like something's missing.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04And I kept thinking about the question you asked me today,
0:15:04 > 0:15:07about whether or not he's the one. And he's not.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Mark really loves you. I think he's ready to take this to the next step.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15He doesn't know what he's ready for. But I think I do.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I guess you're just going to have to marry him and figure it out.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18- No.- No. No.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- Why would you do that?- No, no. No. No.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Good for you, Ann.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Hey, Mark. It's Leslie. Change of plans. Can you call me back?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Tom, get here now. Call me. Bye.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Hey, Leslie. It's Leslie. Hang in there. I love you. Bye.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Please be April. April?
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Yeah?
0:15:38 > 0:15:41It's Joe from the phone. I made you laugh.
0:15:41 > 0:15:42You said come down.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Listen, my van's out back. Let's roll.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47No. Please leave.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- Where are you going? - Hey. What's up?
0:15:49 > 0:15:50Is this guy bothering you?
0:15:50 > 0:15:52No, I'm bothering you.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53For bothering her.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Are you her bodyguard? I mean, she's an adult.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59I think she can decide on her own what train she wants to ride.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00- It's time to go. - Whatever, man.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02I work for the Sewage Department.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04I'm up to my waist in hot snizz.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Take a walk. Bye-bye.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12OK.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16Heads. Oh, boy. What is going to happen next?
0:16:16 > 0:16:18OK. My second favourite episode?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Monica is making dinner,
0:16:20 > 0:16:24and Joey is mad at Chandler because Chandler made out with his girlfriend.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26So, Joey says, "Get in the box." I forgot to tell you.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30There's a box. And it's Thanksgiving Day. So, they get ready to eat.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32What is Ross and Rachel doing? They're fighting.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36So, Ross, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are all together.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Although, is Phoebe there?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Yes. So...
0:16:44 > 0:16:47I will now drink eight glasses of milk in three minutes.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48No. No, you won't. No, you won't.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- Because if you do that, you will die.- Oh!
0:16:58 > 0:17:02PLAYS PIANO WELL
0:17:06 > 0:17:07OK. All right. OK.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Enough of that racket.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Well, Pawnee. It's almost 6:00 in the morning.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16And, we need to keep those donations coming in.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19I know we promised a special event coming up, and...
0:17:19 > 0:17:21(Leslie...)
0:17:21 > 0:17:24- (Should I come up now?)- No. No.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26No. What we'll do is pull our pants down.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27That's what we're going to do.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Everyone's going to pull their pants down for diabetes.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30OK? On one, two...
0:17:33 > 0:17:35# Got my swag on
0:17:35 > 0:17:38# Took a look in the mirror, said, "What's up?"... #
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Detlef, are you sure you don't want me to drive? I'm good to drive.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42You want to come up and play video games?
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Whoa! Pull over, man. That place has good chicken. I'm hungry.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51You just love flashing your ass, don't you?
0:17:51 > 0:17:52When it's for a good cause, Joan.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54What's up!
0:17:54 > 0:17:55Hey, look who's here.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58Wake up, Pawnee! Tommy Timberlake is in the house!
0:17:58 > 0:18:03And you know who else is with me? Detlef...Schrempf!
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Tell them what they won, son!
0:18:06 > 0:18:07All right. Thanks, Tom.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Well, on behalf of the Detlef Schrempf Foundation,
0:18:09 > 0:18:14I would like to present this check for 5,000 for diabetes research.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16Oh, man! Yeah.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Thank you very much. Wow.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Wow. Big man, big check.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24By the way, I'm drunk!
0:18:24 > 0:18:27And if anybody out there...
0:18:27 > 0:18:28(I don't understand. What happened?)
0:18:28 > 0:18:32I'm sorry. I think I was a little tired when I told you that you should do that.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I don't think that that's something Ann wants.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Not on TV.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37So, that's why you pulled your pants down.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41Yeah. Wait...what did I do?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43It's 6:04 am and I'm Perd Hapley
0:18:43 > 0:18:45of Channel 4 Eyewitness News.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47And the story of this next dance
0:18:47 > 0:18:49is that it's called The Worm.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Good morning, Knope.
0:18:58 > 0:18:59Morning, Ron.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Everything running smoothly?
0:19:01 > 0:19:04You know, I'm happy to go back out there, demonstrate more of my skills.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06How to start a fire without matches.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08How to build a cribbage board.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10No, I'm OK. Thanks.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11Get some sleep.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Aye-aye, Captain.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- What the- BLEEP- are you doing, Perd Hapley?
0:19:20 > 0:19:21DOORBELL
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Hey. Leslie? What are you doing here?
0:19:24 > 0:19:25Why aren't you sleeping?
0:19:25 > 0:19:30I just...I thought maybe you'd want to talk more about all the crazy stuff going on.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I do. I really do. Thanks.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Yeah. I've just got to tell you, I'm a little tired.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38- OK.- So, I may have parked on your front lawn.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- You did. - I did.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43- Oh! - Yeah.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45It's... Just come in before anybody...
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Leslie and I had an amazing talk.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50It was so great of her to come over here.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Even though she was exhausted beyond belief.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Anyway, after we talked, she fell asleep on my couch.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01And she's been asleep for...
0:20:01 > 0:20:0322 hours.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05It's amazing what she slept through.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07'No way.'
0:20:07 > 0:20:11'At one point, I thought she was up...' Hold on. Hi.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Hey.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13'But then, she went right back to sleep.'
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I've been monitoring her vital signs. She's totally fine.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I love her so much.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23But I think I'm going to draw a moustache on her face.