0:00:02 > 0:00:03Ladies and gentlemen, this is your final warning.
0:00:03 > 0:00:06Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash.
0:00:06 > 0:00:119pm at the world-famous Snakehole Lounge,
0:00:11 > 0:00:13the place the Pawnee Journal has called
0:00:13 > 0:00:15"the sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
0:00:15 > 0:00:18- That's not what they wrote. - Fine, I added the word "sexiest".
0:00:18 > 0:00:20But we've hired better security.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Yes, I am a good friend for throwing the party.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26I'm also a genius, because I'm using the occasion to stock the club
0:00:26 > 0:00:28with every available hottie I know.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night,
0:00:30 > 0:00:34I will have between one and four new girlfriends.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Oh, that's great. I'd love to hear about your family vacation.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- Hey.- Oh, thank God. Get out, Kyle.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Hello, birthday girl.
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Got you a birthday present.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45- Really?- Yeah.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48- I wrote you a song.- Score.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49- What's it called? - Not telling.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52But I'll give you a clue. It's named after a month out of the year.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54So April?
0:00:54 > 0:00:55No.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58That would have been way better.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Whatever. I can rewrite the lyrics.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Are you coming to my party?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Are you kidding me?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07- OK, cool.- OK.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Well, we'll hang out then.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09OK.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10It's going to be fun.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14Yes, I am 21 years old today.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Which is the age that pretty much everyone agrees makes you an adult.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41The yearly budget and planning proposal
0:01:41 > 0:01:43for a city is called the Master Plan.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Isn't that just so awesome you can't stand it?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I shall now reveal to you my master plan.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54SHE LAUGHS
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Kind of sounded like a chimp there at the end.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Good morning, everybody.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01I know you all have your budget presentations ready,
0:02:01 > 0:02:02but there's a change of plans.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Due to the crippling gridlock in City Council,
0:02:05 > 0:02:09we are postponing all planning and spending decisions indefinitely.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Until when?
0:02:10 > 0:02:11Indefinitely.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13- And when will that end? - Later than now.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15So this week, probably?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Look, we are bordering on a full-blown crisis, Leslie.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21The state government is sending a team from Indianapolis
0:02:21 > 0:02:23to try to solve this budget problem.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Just calm down.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27You don't even know what they're going to do.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Ron, they're state auditors. They're here to slash and burn. We got to fight these guys.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34They've been sent by the Governor. They outrank everyone.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36There's no fight to be had here.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Yeah, you're right. I'm not going to fight them. Except that I am.
0:02:39 > 0:02:44OK. Leslie, what do we do when we get this angry?
0:02:44 > 0:02:47We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens,
0:02:47 > 0:02:48and we think of warm brownies.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Go do that in your office.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51Go do it in your office.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53And we'll wait for these guys to show up.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56I'll wait for you to show up.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00- Andy!- Hey.- You coming out tonight, part owner of the club?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Yes. Let me ask you a quick question.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06What's the youngest a girl can be that if we go out, I'm not a total scumbag?
0:03:06 > 0:03:09You know the old rule. Half your age plus seven.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Half my age plus seven. Oh, OK.
0:03:11 > 0:03:16Well, I'm 29, so half of 29.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Add seven. That's only...
0:03:19 > 0:03:2220 is...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24- 21...- 20 years old.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25- 21.- And a half.
0:03:25 > 0:03:2721 years old and a half.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- Yeah.- Yep. We got the same thing with the equation on that one.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Here's the thing. What if she's slightly younger?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Can I go out with someone younger than that?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Please, you totally can.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Yeah.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Tom says it's OK.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44That probably means it isn't OK.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Thank you for meeting with me again.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49I don't even know really what I want to say.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51But I guess I just don't get it.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53You know, our relationship was so great.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Mark, honestly, it was really nice.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59But maybe you thought it was so amazing
0:03:59 > 0:04:02because you've never dated someone for so long before.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Well, but for example, we barely ever fought.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09That's not a good sign. You're supposed to fight sometimes.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12You're supposed to miss the other person
0:04:12 > 0:04:15even if they're only gone for 20 minutes.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18And I just didn't feel that. Did you?
0:04:18 > 0:04:23Man, I should have yelled at you way more.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Well, Paul just called. They're on their way.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Oh, God. They're going to fire people, aren't they? I am two years from my pension!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Relax, Jerry. We don't know that.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Maybe these people are very helpful and pleasant.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Hello?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Death!
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Divorce filings?
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Fourth floor.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Hello, hello. Hey, how are you?
0:04:44 > 0:04:45- Hello, there.- Hi.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Chris Traeger. This is Ben.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Hello, gents. Ron Swanson.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Ron Swanson.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53OK.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54I'm deputy director Leslie Knope.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Leslie Knope.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59It is fantastic to be here.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00Would you like a tour?
0:05:00 > 0:05:03There is quite literally nothing I would rather have in the world
0:05:03 > 0:05:05than a tour of the Parks and Recreation Department
0:05:05 > 0:05:10of the great city of Pawnee led by Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- OK.- Ben?- I don't think that's a great idea.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14- Let's do it!- Great!
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Chris is the most positive state budget auditing consultant I have ever met.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20I mean, I made eye contact with him,
0:05:20 > 0:05:24and it was like staring into the sun.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28People, we are here from the state budget office from Indianapolis.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Ooh. What does that mean?
0:05:30 > 0:05:34Look, simply we are here to tinker with your budget.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Think of the government as a broken-down carousel.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38We're going to slap on a new coat of paint,
0:05:38 > 0:05:40we are going to fix that broken speaker system,
0:05:40 > 0:05:45and we are going to get those happy kids back up on the horses where they belong!
0:05:45 > 0:05:47- OK?- Yeah.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49- OK?- OK.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Yeah, that's not bad.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51There it is.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56My partner, Ben, is going to stick around for a little bit, and I will see you all later.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Adios!
0:05:57 > 0:05:58Do you have a second?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06I really like your shirt.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08So I'd like to talk about where you think
0:06:08 > 0:06:10there's waste within your department.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- Where do I start? - There is none.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17What exactly will you be cutting? And how much of it?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20And can I watch you do it while eating pork cracklings?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22OK, let's start with personnel.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25What can you tell me about Jerry Gergich?
0:06:25 > 0:06:29He is one of the best people on the planet. He's universally adored here.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32If you fired him, there would be a revolt.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35OK, you need to understand that just to keep this town afloat,
0:06:35 > 0:06:36we probably have to cut the budget
0:06:36 > 0:06:40of every department by 40 or 50%. OK?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Well, but Chris said that you just had to,
0:06:42 > 0:06:44you know, tinker with things.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Yeah, he said that because that sounds a lot better than
0:06:46 > 0:06:48"We're going to gut it with a machete." OK?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50RON LAUGHS
0:06:54 > 0:06:55- You're a jerk.- I'm sorry?
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- Easy.- I'm sorry. These are real people
0:06:57 > 0:07:00in a real town, working in a real building, with real feelings.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02This building has feelings?
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Maybe. There's a lot of history in this one.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Maybe it does. How can you be so blase about this?
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Because I didn't cause these problems, Ms Knope. Your government did.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13I'll get what I need from the spreadsheets. Thanks.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21What's a not gay way to ask him to go camping with me?
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Jean-Ralphio. Looking hot, Big T.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24Throw them bows!
0:07:24 > 0:07:27What? Damn, girl, who are you trying to impress?
0:07:27 > 0:07:28Just kidding. I know.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Walk away. - Yep, you got it.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Got you a birthday shot.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Thanks, but now that it's legal, I've kind of lost interest.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Suit yourself.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45I guess our awesome new park is on hold.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46You have any idea what they're going to cut?
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Nope. I don't know. It's just been a really crappy day.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- Where were you earlier when I called?- Talking to Mark.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54- Again?- Yeah.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57- You want to get super drunk? - I really do.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- Yeah. Where's our lady? Hey!- Hey.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02I hope you all know I was instrumental
0:08:02 > 0:08:04in getting Trish crowned Miss Pawnee.
0:08:04 > 0:08:05What was your talent again?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Oh, yeah. Looking amazing.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Hey, ladies, is there anything you desire at all, besides me?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18So funny. You are so funny!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21I'm serious, though. Are you into me?
0:08:21 > 0:08:22What?
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Chug that, bitch!
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Rules are rules.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Hey, April.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Oh, my gosh. You look amazing.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40- Let me see you.- No.
0:08:40 > 0:08:41- Give me a twirl.- No.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42This is beautiful.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Don't look at me.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46No, look at me.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Happy birthday.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Thank you.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Can I get you a drink? Or...wait.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Yeah, I can swing it. Can I get you a drink?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Whiskey. Neat.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Wow. You're not messing around.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00No. I'm not.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Barkeep.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Andy Dwyer! It's so awesome to see you.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Hey, you, too. How are you?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Let me ask you a question. Was I a good girlfriend?
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Ann, you were an awesome girlfriend.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Really?- Yeah.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19Aw!
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I mean, I was the screw-up.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Yeah, you were.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26We had a good relationship, right?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28God, I think so. I mean, we fought a lot.
0:09:28 > 0:09:33I know. I know. I know that. Let me ask you something.
0:09:33 > 0:09:34I'm hot.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Is that a question?
0:09:35 > 0:09:38When we were together... I can't see.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- When we were together... - Yes.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Were there times that you were like,
0:09:42 > 0:09:46"If I don't see Ann in, like, ten seconds, I'm going to die"?
0:09:46 > 0:09:47Yes, all the time.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52I loved Andy. Loved him. Loved Andy.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56He was a totally helpless baby when we met.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58I dated him for three years.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Now, he's an adult with a job.
0:10:00 > 0:10:06And some other girl is going to reap the rewards of my hard work?
0:10:08 > 0:10:09- That's bull...- BLEEP!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16And I'm reading this, and I'm like,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19"How could they hurt those gorillas like that?"
0:10:19 > 0:10:22They're such gentle, magnificent creatures, you know?
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I'm an animal lover. I don't know.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Hey, I want you to keep this bottle cap.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32So you always remember me and the first time we met.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36Classic game. Plant the seed. Harvest, like, a half hour later.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Here you go. Sorry that took for ever. God.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Hey, baby, you miss me? Because I missed you.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47- Oh, look at this. Jean-Ralphio. Hey.- Hey. Andy.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Andy. That's an all right name. That's an all right name.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51- Thank you.- Yeah.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Are you guys... Are you guys hanging out together?
0:10:54 > 0:10:55- Yeah, maybe.- Yep.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58You know, he asked me out so many times. I guess he wore me down.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I'm very persistent. Come over here. Come over here.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02I can hear you. I can hear you.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05One time, I waited outside a woman's house for five days
0:11:05 > 0:11:08just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Turns out it was the wrong house.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13She loved the story, anyway. We got to third base. Over the pants.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14That's so cute.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Yeah, super cute.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16- Wow.- Right?
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Do you want a Remy Martin?
0:11:18 > 0:11:21- Probably good.- OK, I'll get you one. Two Remy Martins! Here we go!
0:11:24 > 0:11:27You can have my Remy Martin for your birthday.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34I thought she liked me. I guess I'm super bad at picking up signals.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38That Ralph Macchio guy is a total douche.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Did I give you a bottle cap?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Excuse me, did I give you a bottle cap?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46What?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Did I give any of you guys a bottle cap?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50You sure?
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Who the did I give a bottle cap to?
0:12:01 > 0:12:02This party sucks. Let's get out of here.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04It's my birthday party.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05- It is?- Yes.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07I'm sorry, boo.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08- You know what's thirsty? - What?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11You know what's weird? How thirsty I get when I'm weird.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14When I'm drunk.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Ben, the jerk, is here.
0:12:16 > 0:12:17- Who are? - That one.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19The one coming over here. Get ready.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21OK, Leslie, be professional.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23- Hi.- Hello, Ben.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Look, I kind of feel like we got off on the wrong foot.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32So I just wanted to stop by and...
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Yeah. Well, save your breath. OK?
0:12:35 > 0:12:36Just get out of here.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Because this is a party with my friends,
0:12:38 > 0:12:41and you're trying to fire all my friends.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43- I...- Plus, I just talked to everybody in this bar,
0:12:43 > 0:12:45and nobody wants you here.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48OK. Then I'll just see you tomorrow.
0:12:48 > 0:12:49Sorry to bother you.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Get out of here.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Leslie? That was so professional. I'm so proud of you.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Thank you.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01- You have to help me.- Ow.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02I know. Me, too.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04But you have to help me.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I think I may have made out with someone last night.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Oh, no. Who?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12I don't remember. I don't even know if it happened.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I just had this feeling when I woke up this morning
0:13:14 > 0:13:16like I definitely kissed somebody.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18- No.- Hey, Ann.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Wow, that was a crazy night last night.
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Yeah, crazy.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32I mean, I left at 11.15, and you were still raging pretty hard.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Oh! I was. I was.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37- Good.- Yeah.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38So it's not Jerry.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- Help me. - I'll keep an ear to the ground.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43But right now, I have to go swallow my pride.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Leslie, Leslie. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Wow. You have a lot of bottles there.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Yeah. Would you like a vitamin? B-12?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Evening primrose oil? Willow bark? Magnesium?- No, thank you.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54You sure? Really good for hangovers.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55OK, I'll take one.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58I take care of my body above all else.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Diet, exercise, supplements, and positive thinking.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Scientists believe that the first human being
0:14:03 > 0:14:05who will live 150 years has already been born.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08I believe I am that human being.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10So, what brings you here so early?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12I'm here to speak to Ben, actually.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16Great. I'm going to listen to some ocean sounds and do some chin-ups.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22So, I'd like to apologise for yesterday.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Don't worry about it.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27No, what I did was out of line. Twice.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29And I was worked up, because obviously,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31you represent a threat to my department.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Your city council and your mayor are the threats to your department.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37We didn't do anything to get you into this situation, OK?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39OK. Look, Ben, I don't appreciate your callous attitude, OK?
0:14:39 > 0:14:41- Really?- Yeah, really.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42OK.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45You may hold my fate in your hands like a small bird,
0:14:45 > 0:14:47but I still think you're an ass.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51You want to get a beer?
0:14:51 > 0:14:52- It's like 10.30 in the morning. - Yeah.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55And you seem like you could use a beer. Let's get a beer.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56Well...
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Oh, oh, oh. Don't keep him too long.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I need someone to be here when I take my multivitamin.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04There's a choking hazard.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05OK, can we go?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Oh, my God.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- You don't remember anything that happened last night, do you?- No.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16Wow. For once, it's Ann who blacked out drunk and not Andy.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18- OK.- Oh, my gosh.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- That's really dangerous. - Please tell me.
0:15:20 > 0:15:26This is going to be so fun letting you dangle until I finally reveal that we did not make out.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Oh.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29(BLEEP) damn it.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Good. See you.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32All right.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Hey, I need to settle my bill from last night. Tom Haverford.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39OK.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Wow. You had 47 drinks last night?
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Ten cosmos, eight Smirnoff Ices,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49and everything else starts with the word pomegranate.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Was it your bachelorette party?
0:15:51 > 0:15:54No, I invited a bunch of girls here last night,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57and they all put drinks on my tab.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00And then I went home alone. I'm not sure what happened.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03You invited a bunch of girls here, and then you tried to hit on all of them.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04Fair enough.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08I mean, what were you expecting was going to happen, a 43-way?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- That would have been a little out of control.- But awesome.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Yeah, the problem is I only have 15 penises, so...
0:16:13 > 0:16:16There would have been 28 girls that were really upset with me.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Yeah.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22All right, well, thanks.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Hey, would you want to get a drink tomorrow night?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Does it have to be here?
0:16:32 > 0:16:33No.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Then, sure. I'm Lucy. Let me give you my phone number.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Wow, that tastes really good.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44How's your head?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Mushy.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49I'm sorry that I yelled at you. All three times.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52But I don't think you know anything about my department.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Have you ever been part of a government body before?
0:16:54 > 0:16:58I have, yeah. Small town called Partridge, Minnesota.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Why does that sound familiar?
0:17:06 > 0:17:07You're Benji Wyatt?
0:17:07 > 0:17:12I am. When I was 18, I ran for mayor of my small town.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13And won.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16A little bit of anti-establishment voter rebellion, I guess.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20Here's the thing, though, about 18-year-olds. They're idiots.
0:17:20 > 0:17:25So I pretty much ran the place into the ground after two months and got impeached.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29The worst part was my parents grounded me.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31- Oh, my God. You were so cute. - Well, thank you.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34What was that song you played at the swearing-in ceremony?
0:17:34 > 0:17:37- Whoomp!- Yes. - That's what it was.- Yeah.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39God, I was so jealous of you.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42You shouldn't have been. I mean, it ended up kind of ruining my life.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43And now, I'm balancing budgets
0:17:43 > 0:17:46so I can show people I'm responsible.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47So I can run for office again some day
0:17:47 > 0:17:50and not be laughed at, you know.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53I mean, you want to run for office some day, right?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Yeah. How did you know?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Well, you have to be able to make decisions like this, Leslie.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59You have to be harsh, you know?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01No-one's going to elect you to do anything
0:18:01 > 0:18:03if you don't show that you're a responsible grown-up.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04Yeah.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Well...
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Oh, no. Please, Mr Mayor, let me.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10# Whoomp there it is. #
0:18:10 > 0:18:12OK.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Mmm.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16Mmm.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- Everything OK?- Hm?
0:18:19 > 0:18:20Mmm.
0:18:21 > 0:18:22No.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- You ready?- Yeah.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Hey, Ron, did we make out last night?
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Good God, woman. No.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50OK. Well, that's it. That's all the men that I know.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52You guys just knocked it completely out of the park.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55And I appreciate it, and we will see you later.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Hey! Ann Perkins!
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- Hey.- Hey, well...
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- April's party? April's party? - Yeah. Hey, man. How's it going?- Hi.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10- Hey.- Yeah, Tom.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Hey. Come here.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15There's no reason not to love him, but I didn't.
0:19:15 > 0:19:20# Highway to the danger zone. #
0:19:20 > 0:19:21I've called you a cab.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23You know, I just...
0:19:31 > 0:19:34OK, let's get you in the cab. Come on.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Boo.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Fancy this.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Listen, I have meetings all day, but I'd love to chat with you.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Can I call you?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44You have my phone number?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47No, you couldn't remember your phone number, but you gave me your phone.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Terrific. That's great. We'll talk later.- OK.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52# Danger zone. #
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Come on, guys.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56We'll talk later.
0:19:56 > 0:20:01This suggested plan reduces our overall budget by 35%.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04And it contains very practical, deep cuts in many of our services.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Wow, Leslie. This is amazing.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08But it's moot.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Why?
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Our investigation has revealed
0:20:11 > 0:20:15that things in Pawnee are much worse than we anticipated.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- Meaning what? - Well, effective tomorrow morning,
0:20:17 > 0:20:20the entire government will be shut down until further notice.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26I'm sorry. I just started hearing really loud circus music in my head.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27What did you say?
0:20:29 > 0:20:33# November, your bangs are cute
0:20:33 > 0:20:35# November, your voice is a flute
0:20:35 > 0:20:41# November, let's pretend the sky is for us
0:20:41 > 0:20:46# Let's spread our wings and fly on a date
0:20:46 > 0:20:52# I want to go on a date with you, November. #
0:20:56 > 0:20:58That song is about April.