0:00:02 > 0:00:04As we all know, Ron is recovering from his hernia surgery.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06So I got him flowers from all of us.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08So everybody needs to pitch in, like, 90.
0:00:08 > 0:00:1090?
0:00:10 > 0:00:14Yes, because I ordered a beautiful bouquet of daffodils,
0:00:14 > 0:00:18from a website, after a few glasses of wine.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20So, Tom, I think you might be getting some daffodils, too.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Donna, you're definitely getting some.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25Jerry? I don't know. I'm not sure. Time will tell.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27Also, I'm leaving early tonight
0:00:27 > 0:00:30because I am a judge in the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Whoa, whoa, whoa. You get to be a judge in that thing?
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Yes, and it's a responsibility I take very seriously.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36But I want to be a judge.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38I can't believe you like beauty pageants.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40April, whoever Miss Pawnee is,
0:00:40 > 0:00:43is going to be the representative of womanhood in our town.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45And as a judge, let me assure you that this year's Miss Pawnee
0:00:45 > 0:00:47will be chosen for her talent and poise.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Whoa. The girls from Talent and Poise going to be there?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51- What? - Talent and Poise.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54It's the strip club by the VA hospital. I have some meetings there.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55That's disgusting.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58No. What's disgusting is the Glitter Factory.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Do not go to the Glitter Factory.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Hey!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Hey!
0:01:35 > 0:01:38So, I was just at The Grind and I thought you might want an iced mocha
0:01:38 > 0:01:41with extra, extra whipped cream.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Oh, my. Thank you so much, April. Wow!
0:01:44 > 0:01:45You're welcome.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Oh, by the way, completely unrelated,
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I just signed up for the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53That's wonderful.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55You know, that is why I decided to become a judge.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57So that awesome girls like you,
0:01:57 > 0:01:59who are not, you know, classically hot,
0:01:59 > 0:02:02can be rewarded for their intelligence and savvy.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Beauty pageants are idiotic.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06But I found out that the winner
0:02:06 > 0:02:08of the Miss Pawnee Pageant gets 600.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11I can be idiotic for 600.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13So, are you going to vote for me, sister?
0:02:13 > 0:02:16April, it's unethical for me to show you favouritism.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18You and I are like family.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21The coffee is 7.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22Yes. Right. Of course.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Just bump that clown.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Tell them they already have another Asian judge.
0:02:26 > 0:02:31Awesome. Thank you so much, I owe you. All right. Peace.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Guess who's also going to be a judge in the beauty pageant?
0:02:34 > 0:02:35What? How?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37I know a guy. I had to call in a few favours.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40But if you don't call in favours to look at women in bikinis
0:02:40 > 0:02:41and assign them numerical grades,
0:02:41 > 0:02:43what the hell do you call in favours for?
0:02:45 > 0:02:46- Hey.- Hey.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48- Hey.- Hey.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50What you doing in these parts?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53I just came by to see the murals.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54This one's pretty amazing.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Yeah, this one's a beauty.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59You know, in the 1880s, there were a few years
0:02:59 > 0:03:01that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley
0:03:05 > 0:03:09and Anna Beth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting."
0:03:13 > 0:03:16But you know, they had to change it for obvious reasons.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17She's got him by the hair pretty good there.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21- Yeah.- Leslie's really cool, and she's smart.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23It's a little intimidating.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27To tell you the truth, I didn't come here to look at the murals.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30I came to ask her on a date.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Hey, Leslie...
0:03:34 > 0:03:36I really like you.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38And I was wondering
0:03:38 > 0:03:41if maybe you'd want to get a cup of coffee or something, sometime.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43OK, yeah, sure.
0:03:43 > 0:03:44Yeah?
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Yeah. Absolutely. Let me check my schedule.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48OK.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Let's see.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Is that your grandma?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Yeah.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00That's Madeleine Albright.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04That's her name? Cos I usually just call mine "Nana".
0:04:04 > 0:04:06No, that's Madeleine Albright.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08The first female Secretary of State.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12OK, so, not... That's not your grandma, then.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14All right. I got it.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17- How's that schedule looking? - Good, a couple days are free.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19- Maybe we could just, you know...- Lock it in later?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Yeah.- Talk later about it? - Yeah. That's a good idea.- OK.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Ladies.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32You want to hear something awful?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34He didn't even know who Madeleine Albright was.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- Who?- Not you, too.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Madeleine Albright, the first female Secretary of State.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39No, no, no. Who didn't know?
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Oh, Dave. That cop that I met. I don't know.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46I just don't know if I can date someone who doesn't share my interests.
0:04:46 > 0:04:52I mean, could you date someone who doesn't love giving vaccinations?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54I've never dated anyone who loves giving vaccinations.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- Hey.- Hey.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03Weird question for you. Are you handy? Like, can you fix things?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- Well, what's broken?- My shower.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09It's leaky, low pressure, just all around terrible.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Easy. You want me to come over after work?
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Yes. Yes. Amazing.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15I will cook you a cheap, quick dinner
0:05:15 > 0:05:17that will be no trouble at all for me.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Great. Well, I'll see you tonight,
0:05:19 > 0:05:20for the weirdest second date ever.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22OK.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Hello, fellow judges.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28I am Judge Leslie Knope and this is my colleague, Tom Haverford. He's also going to be a judge.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Hi. Jessica Wicks, Miss Pawnee 1994.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33I recognised you right away.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35And may I say that you look even more beautiful now
0:05:35 > 0:05:37than you did when you won the crown.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Ooh, I like you!
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Hello. Ray Holstead, Ray's Sandwich Place.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- Yes, of course, Ray. How do you do?- Fine.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44I'm Charles Woliner.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47I've judged every Miss Pawnee Pageant for the last 30 years.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49I made Jessica.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Well, Tom and I are very happy to be here.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54And I'm sure between the five of us,
0:05:54 > 0:05:56we will choose the most well-rounded,
0:05:56 > 0:05:59intelligent, modern and forward-thinking woman
0:05:59 > 0:06:01to represent our fine town.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Right, Tom? Tom?
0:06:02 > 0:06:05You don't believe me? Watch.
0:06:05 > 0:06:0934 C, 36 B, 34 B, 34 D.
0:06:09 > 0:06:1132 A? How'd you get in here?
0:06:12 > 0:06:14I'm just kidding. You're perfect,
0:06:14 > 0:06:15each and every one of you. God bless.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Here they are, your candidates for Miss Pawnee.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Well, let's meet the girls, shall we?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32First up, please welcome April Ludgate.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Hello, I'm April Ludgate.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46I'm 20 years old.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49I like people,
0:06:49 > 0:06:53places and things!
0:06:53 > 0:06:57And Pawnee is my favourite place in the world!
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Next up, please welcome Susan Gleever.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07Hi, everyone. I'm Susan. I'm a history major at Indiana State,
0:07:07 > 0:07:11I play classical piano, and I volunteer at the Children's Hospital.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Thank you, Susan.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16She's good.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Next, Trish Ianetta.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19CHEERING
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Hi, y'all. I'm Trish.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29I'm 22 years old, I've been on YouTube.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32I just... I love to hang out with my friends, I love to laugh,
0:07:32 > 0:07:36I love the summertime and going to the beach,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38and I love wearing bikinis at the beach
0:07:38 > 0:07:40with everyone there. I just want everyone...
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Well, you know, they can't all be winners.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Are y'all having a good time?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46CHEERING
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Looks like we got a frontrunner, guys!
0:07:55 > 0:07:58And now it's time for our ever popular talent competition,
0:07:58 > 0:08:01where our ladies will each demonstrate their excellent skills.
0:08:01 > 0:08:07Here we have Leslie's custom scorecard, with categories such as,
0:08:07 > 0:08:11presentation, intelligence, knowledge of herstory,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14fruitful gestures, je ne sais quoi,
0:08:14 > 0:08:18and something called "The Naomi Wolf Factor."
0:08:18 > 0:08:21And our first one up is Trish Ianetta, whose talent is baton.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22MUSIC STARTS
0:08:31 > 0:08:33My girl Trish is talented.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35She's not even twirling the baton.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39MICROPHONE HUMS
0:08:39 > 0:08:41I'm going to do impressions.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Oh, celebrity impressions. That's wild. Wild stuff.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Yeah.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51This is an impression of my sister.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Hi, I'm Natalie. I love Ritalin and have low self-esteem.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Thank you.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06This is an impression of my boss, Leslie Knope.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Women should do everything. Check out my four-color pen.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Hey, everybody. Listen up while I talk about some really important stuff.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, Michelle Obama, parks.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Gay penguins, parks, sugar, parks.
0:09:17 > 0:09:21- She got me. She got me good. - She got...
0:09:21 > 0:09:23# Ooh
0:09:24 > 0:09:29# It's so good it's so good it's so good it's so good it's so good... #
0:09:31 > 0:09:32CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC
0:09:40 > 0:09:43I'm texting Trish to tell her how good she did earlier.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46No, Susan isn't a perfect 10.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50But in my mind, Susan is the perfect Miss Pawnee.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Her values are strong, her commitment to her job is very admirable,
0:09:54 > 0:09:56she has a real sense of...
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Hey, hey! Over here.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03How's it going in here?
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Good.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06I hooked your toilet up to your shower.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08That's what you wanted, right?
0:10:08 > 0:10:09- Yes. - Excellent.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Was that Andy?
0:10:26 > 0:10:27Andy?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31I know you're in there because I can see you through the screen.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Ann! Hey! What's up? What are you doing?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Do you live down here?
0:10:45 > 0:10:46What?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48What? Yes.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you live down here.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Oh, my God. I can't believe this is happening!
0:10:55 > 0:10:56What? I can't be at my house
0:10:56 > 0:11:01and see my ex-boyfriend living in a hole in my backyard like a gopher.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03That's so weird, Andy.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Listen, I have been trying really hard not to bother you.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Like, when you had that barbecue last week,
0:11:07 > 0:11:10I didn't come up, even though it smelled so good.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12You've been here a whole week?
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Yes. One week only.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Oh, I guess... I guess that's the office you were telling me about
0:11:19 > 0:11:21that you go to work to every day. Excellent.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Listen. Are we going to talk about anything other than the lies that I told you?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28I can't do this right now. I have a guy fixing my bathroom.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29I got to go.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32That's cool. I got to zoom out, too, cos I have some people coming over.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35So, why don't you call first next time?
0:11:35 > 0:11:36You know the way out.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40All right, it's time now for the dreaded Q&A.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43And the first question goes to Tom Haverford.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Yes, I have a question for the hot one.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49First off, I just want to say I'm a little bit surprised,
0:11:49 > 0:11:51because I didn't think angels could fly so low.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54Thank you.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57You truly are a beautiful, beautiful woman.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59You're so funny.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02You're funny. You're funny.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Do you have a question, Tom?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07OK, I have a real question, if you don't mind, Tom.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Trish, Alexis de Tocqueville called America "The Great Experiment."
0:12:11 > 0:12:15What can we do as citizens to improve on that experiment?
0:12:16 > 0:12:23Well, uh, I think that America is the land of the free,
0:12:23 > 0:12:25which is a wonderful thing,
0:12:25 > 0:12:29and also the brave, where people can live,
0:12:29 > 0:12:34and no-one can ever take that away from you and it never gives up.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38But the high birthing rate of immigrants frightens me.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39No offence to anyone out there,
0:12:39 > 0:12:42but if it were up to me and my family,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44I would actually call it "Our-merica,"
0:12:44 > 0:12:47and not "Their-merica." Thank you.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48APPLAUSE
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Don't applaud that. No, she didn't...
0:12:51 > 0:12:53She didn't answer my question.
0:12:54 > 0:12:55I'm sorry, you don't think it's weird
0:12:55 > 0:12:57that my ex-boyfriend lives in a tent
0:12:57 > 0:12:59in the pit outside my house?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02It's not ideal.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04Maybe you should try to relax.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Maybe take one of those Ativans
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I saw in the medicine cabinet.
0:13:08 > 0:13:09- Dude! - Yeah, I peeked.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12I also didn't see any toothpaste. Do you not use toothpaste?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I mean, I always knew he was lazy,
0:13:14 > 0:13:17but this is, like, a new low for him.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I feel like we should invite him inside.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Have you not been listening to anything I just said?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I don't know, it's just... It's raining outside,
0:13:25 > 0:13:27and he's living in a pit, you know?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32OK, folks, just a couple more contestants,
0:13:32 > 0:13:34and then the judges will decide
0:13:34 > 0:13:38our next Miss Pawnee, a winner of 600 in gift certificates
0:13:38 > 0:13:42to Big Archie's Sporting Goods and Emerson Fencing Company.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44What? We don't get cash? This is for a fence?
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Well, it won't cover a whole fence. But it will defray the cost considerably!
0:13:48 > 0:13:49Oh, my God.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I quit. I quit.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59OK, I guess she really is quitting.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00No, I didn't win.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04But at least I didn't make any new friendships.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07So, how long do we have to pretend to deliberate
0:14:07 > 0:14:08until we go back out there?
0:14:08 > 0:14:09LAUGHTER
0:14:10 > 0:14:12What do you mean?
0:14:12 > 0:14:15We're all in agreement. The hot one, by a landslide.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Well, her name is Trish. And I don't think we should rush this, you know?
0:14:18 > 0:14:22What is there to talk about? I mean, I thought Trish was just adorable.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24- Well, take Susan, for example.- I think...
0:14:24 > 0:14:29Susan Boring Stories? No. It's Trish. Let's go back out there.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33OK, hold on, everyone. Hold on. Everyone, wait, wait, wait.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Look, whoever we choose
0:14:35 > 0:14:38is going to represent the ideal woman for a year.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39She'll be someone that little girls
0:14:39 > 0:14:41in South Central Indiana look up to.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45Now, nobody leaves this room until we discuss all of it. OK?
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Consider yourselves sequestered.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50I'm a judge, so I don't want to sound partial.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53But Trish will win this pageant over my dead body.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Look, I am the only one here
0:14:56 > 0:14:59who has entered and won this contest in the past.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01And I think Trish is a no-brainer.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Jessica, may I ask, what was your talent?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Oh, I packed a suitcase.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08I have to say, Leslie does make a good point.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Trish is not the brightest bulb in the bunch.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Yes, Ray. Good, I like what you're saying. Let's keep talking.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Just stand over there and don't drip on anything.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Is Mark the guy who's "fixing your shower"?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a ton of porn.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31And I know what "fixing your shower" means.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34- Andy...- Sorry, you guys are on a date. That's cool.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- Andy?- No, it's all right.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Don't let me interrupt your date.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39Keep eating.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41I already ate. I'm super full. I don't... I don't want any.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46OK, so, it's still 3-2 for Trish.
0:15:46 > 0:15:51Guys, all I ask is that you look into your hearts,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54and think, really think, about what you've seen
0:15:54 > 0:15:56and ask yourselves,
0:15:56 > 0:15:58"Who is the most impressive woman here tonight?"
0:16:00 > 0:16:02It's the hot one. Trish Ianetta!
0:16:02 > 0:16:03APPLAUSE
0:16:13 > 0:16:15These are amazing. Do you...
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Do you put a little hot sauce on these or something?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20A good chef never reveals her secrets.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21It's hot sauce.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Ann is an extraordinary cook.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31Mmm. Memories.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Do you want some more? Are you hungry still?
0:16:33 > 0:16:34You know what's funny?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I was just sitting over here on the couch and I was thinking,
0:16:36 > 0:16:38that there was once a time
0:16:38 > 0:16:40when Mark used to be the stranger in the house.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42And now it's me.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Excuse me, everyone. Why don't we just take a moment
0:16:50 > 0:16:54to give a round of applause to all the contestants this evening? Yes.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Especially Susan.
0:16:58 > 0:17:03This isn't the first time that Susans have lost to Trishes,
0:17:03 > 0:17:05and it won't be the last.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Susan and I will continue on until the women of Pawnee
0:17:09 > 0:17:12are judged not by the flatness of their tummies,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14but by the contents of their brains.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20And, Trish, I may not have voted for you,
0:17:20 > 0:17:22but now is the time for us to come together.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27I hope you honour this crown with dignity, and a devotion to all...
0:17:29 > 0:17:31- TOGETHER:- One, two, three!
0:17:34 > 0:17:35< LAUGHTER
0:17:37 > 0:17:39As usual, Ann, a delicious meal.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Are we doing anything in the way of dessert or coffee?
0:17:43 > 0:17:44WE are leaving.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48OK, I get it.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Don't worry. I'm very good at picking up signals.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Let's go, Mark.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54No, dummy. Just you.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56OK. All right.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Take care of yourself.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Just don't worry about me, Ann. OK?
0:18:06 > 0:18:07I'll be fine.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14That went really well!
0:18:14 > 0:18:17We had dinner! I got to see her!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Oh, God, I was so tempted to look back at her.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Was she looking?
0:18:21 > 0:18:22I had to walk so slow.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26A good day.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Well, well, well, look who's here. It's Officer John McClane.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Welcome to the party, pal.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Who's that?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Die Hard.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37The battery?
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Hey. What are you doing here?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Well, you know the other day I asked you if you wanted to have coffee?
0:18:41 > 0:18:42- Yeah.- You said yes.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44- Yes.- OK, and then afterwards,
0:18:44 > 0:18:46I saw you again,
0:18:46 > 0:18:48you kind of acted like you didn't want to have coffee any more.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- We left it kind of open-ended. - We did.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- And that's made me uncomfortable.- OK.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55So I thought I'd come in and ask you, and just get some clearance on this.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Dave, I like you.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57I like you, too.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59OK, so, we'll get coffee, then.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03But I'm just busy. Right now, my schedule is just so...
0:19:04 > 0:19:06- ..full. - OK. OK, I get it.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Look, I'm not a guy who plays games.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12OK, I just came to tell you that I like you, and I like coffee and I...
0:19:12 > 0:19:15If you want to get some coffee, here's my number.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Hey, coming through, buddy.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Hey. I got your message.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Hey. Thanks for coming.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Look, I'd love to go out with you. How about Friday for dinner?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Yeah? Great.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Hey, will Sandra Day O'Connor and Michelle Obama
0:19:40 > 0:19:43and Condoleezza Rice and Nancy Pelosi...
0:19:44 > 0:19:46..are they going to join us?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- No, they will not be joining us. - OK, well, good, Cos I don't happen to agree with
0:19:50 > 0:19:51Miss Pelosi's views
0:19:51 > 0:19:54about the Troubled Assets Relief Programme.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Hmm.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57I looked that up to impress you.
0:19:57 > 0:19:58I figured.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Yeah.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03If you guys like grilling, you want to come over and use my grill...
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Look, let me do you a favour. Take a key.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Just come by, grill up whatever you want.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09This is one of my favourite pick-up strategies.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11I'm constantly giving one of my keys.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12This is your house key?
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Yeah. I just happened to have a spare.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Just come by, go for a dip, whenever you want.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16So far, none of them have shown up.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20That's a very appealing offer, thank you.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Matter of time.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Hey, Craig.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Hey, Tommy.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- 50 more copies, please.- You got it.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I have been robbed twice.