0:00:02 > 0:00:05I have some very important news about our favourite mini-horse, Li'l Sebastian.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07- Yay! - Li'l Sebastian!
0:00:07 > 0:00:08He died last night.
0:00:08 > 0:00:09No!
0:00:09 > 0:00:11But we can take comfort in the fact
0:00:11 > 0:00:13that he is in heaven now,
0:00:13 > 0:00:15doing the two things he loves doing the most.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Eating carrots and urinating freely.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19When I walked in this morning
0:00:19 > 0:00:21and saw the flag was at half-mast,
0:00:21 > 0:00:26I thought, "All right. Another bureaucrat ate it."
0:00:26 > 0:00:28But then I found out it was Li'l Sebastian.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Half-mast is too high.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Show some damned respect.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Because of all he's done for the town,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37we are going to be holding a small memorial service for him.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39But for now,
0:00:39 > 0:00:42I think we should bow our heads in a moment of silence.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47# ..Have a good time
0:00:47 > 0:00:51# The best thing about being a woman
0:00:51 > 0:00:55# Is the prerogative to have a little fun, yeah
0:00:55 > 0:00:57# Oh-oh oh, oh
0:00:57 > 0:00:58# We're totally crazy
0:00:58 > 0:00:59# Give him a lady. #
0:00:59 > 0:01:01I got it, thank you.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22So maintenance is going to set up the stage.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Ron will be laying the ceremonial wreath.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Uh, Leslie, there's a 13th century Italian poem
0:01:27 > 0:01:30by Dante Alighieri that would be very appropriate.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Oh, Jerry, that sounds wonderful.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35OK, Andy, I need you to write a memorial song.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Something like Candle In The Wind,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38but 5,000 times better.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40- Easy.- Hey, if you want a song from Andy Dwyer,
0:01:40 > 0:01:42lead singer of Mouse Rat, you should know
0:01:42 > 0:01:44he doesn't get out of bed for less than 1,000.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45We can give him 50 bucks.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Sold. Pow.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50OK, here is a memo with some facts about Li'l Sebastian.
0:01:50 > 0:01:55I think you'll find yours particularly interesting.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57It's just a list of facts.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58What?
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- OK, mine says, "You have a cute butt."- Hm?
0:02:01 > 0:02:03That's weird. Must be a typo.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Yeah, Jerry, it's probably a typo, cos it probably should've said,
0:02:06 > 0:02:08- "you have a cube butt."- Cos your butt's shaped like a cube!
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Yeah!
0:02:09 > 0:02:12The question is, why is my memo different than everyone else's?
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Cube butt, cube butt.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18ALL: Cube butt, cube butt.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Cube butt, cube butt, cube butt.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Good news is this is just tendonitis.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- How is that good news?- The other option was shoulder cancer.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30- Really?- No. Look, you exercise a lot, you're in great shape,
0:02:30 > 0:02:33little things like this happen with men of your age.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Men of my age? How old do you think I am?
0:02:36 > 0:02:41- 42?- Ha! I am 44 and I plan to live to be 150.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42OK.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- So, what's the cure?- Get a time machine, go back to being 20.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51Dr Harris, you are literally the meanest person I have ever met.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53OK, all the permits cleared for the...
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Horse funeral.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56What was that tone?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58What? Oh, nothing.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Question! Who's a genius? Answer - Tom Haverford.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Reason - Jean-Ralphio just started
0:03:03 > 0:03:05an exclusive, high-end production company,
0:03:05 > 0:03:08and he's willing to put on Li'l Sebastian's memorial service
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Pro Bono, just for the pub.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Pub is an abbreviation for publicity.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Jean-Ralphio is a clown.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19This is the memorial for Li'l Sebastian,
0:03:19 > 0:03:21not double-coupon night at a strip club.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23First off, double-coupon night is an incredible value.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Secondly, this guy just started a business.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28He's my friend. It would really help him out.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Plus, I'm going to oversee everything and make sure it goes great.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33OK, Tom, we trust you.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Make us proud.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Make him proud.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Why don't you just Photoshop that out?
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Oh, hi, Ann Perkins.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Hi. How are you?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- I'm dying. - What?
0:03:46 > 0:03:47- Tendonitis. - Oh.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50I don't know if you should lead with "I'm dying."
0:03:50 > 0:03:53You're right, you're right. So... What's up with you?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55I'm just helping Leslie plan
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Li'l Sebastian's memorial service.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Li'l Sebastian died?
0:04:00 > 0:04:03He was old, and he had a lot of ailments.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05- Like tendonitis? - I don't know.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- I don't have his chart in front of me.- Could you get it?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10W-what? There's no chart.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11Oh, my God.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Death is inescapable.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Goodbye, Ann Perkins.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Man, whenever I run into that guy,
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- he always just throws me off. - Don't even talk about Chris.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Every time I hear his name,
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I think about the fact that he's going to find out
0:04:24 > 0:04:26about me and Ben, and he's going to fire both of us.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28And about how much he hurt you.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29- Yeah, there you go. - Yeah.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32OK, I'm going to see Ben in our secret meeting place
0:04:32 > 0:04:33in a few minutes. How do I look?
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- What are you going for?- Sophisticated with a hint of slutty.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Bulls-eye.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39So nice to see you so happy about a guy.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Thanks. I don't know.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44When I look at my life right now, it feels almost perfect.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46I mean, we have to sneak around,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49but weirdly, it's kind of fun that nobody knows.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Hello, Leslie.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55How long have you been sleeping with Ben?
0:04:55 > 0:04:56What?!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58How long have you been sleeping with Ben?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00That's disgusting and wrong.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I don't even get... why would... I...
0:05:02 > 0:05:04I've never had sex with anyone anywhere.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06It's none of your...
0:05:06 > 0:05:08you have... the nerve...
0:05:08 > 0:05:09the audacity.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Ben is my boss, technically.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13And he is terrible, facewise.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15And how... how...
0:05:15 > 0:05:17do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him?
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Hm, check and mate.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25This is an outrage! Who do I call?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- Hey, hey. - Hey, hey.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Hey, Ron.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Listen, you're just who I was looking for.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Are you...? Did you forget the, um...
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Did you... Can I... Can I get that thing?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Can we just, uh... Did you bring it?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- Hmm. - This isn't convincing.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42How did you find out?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44We've worked together for a while now.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I'd like to think I know you pretty well.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Plus, Ben butt-dialed me last night.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51'OK, OK, and this
0:05:51 > 0:05:54'is how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss.'
0:05:54 > 0:05:57'Huh, whoa. Eleanor likes the tongue.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59'Hey, show me Pelosi again.'
0:05:59 > 0:06:02'OK, lay down.'
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Please tell me you hung up before Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Unfortunately not.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- Ugh.- This is a scandal waiting to happen.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12If you get caught, which you clearly will,
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Chris'll fire you.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15And I won't be able to stop him.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Come on, help me. There's a lot riding on this.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22This is what Li'l Sebastian's going to listen to in horsey heaven.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24OK, let me hear your favourite one so far.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26# You're a champion
0:06:26 > 0:06:28# Little horse
0:06:28 > 0:06:31# And you're dead
0:06:31 > 0:06:33# You're the champion
0:06:33 > 0:06:34# Of death
0:06:34 > 0:06:38# You're the champion of death. #
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Maybe try to do one
0:06:40 > 0:06:42without the word "dead" so much.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Or "death" or "you're dead".
0:06:43 > 0:06:45See? You're helping me already.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47So the only people that know
0:06:47 > 0:06:48are my mom, Ann, and Ron.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50And they're not going to say anything.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Right. Just no more fooling around at work.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53Ugh.
0:06:53 > 0:06:54OK, yeah. We can't.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Well, I mean, you know, a situation could arise
0:06:56 > 0:06:59where you do something good,
0:06:59 > 0:07:00and I congratulate you.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02You know, kind of like this.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04- Yes. - Like, "Oh, congratulations."
0:07:04 > 0:07:06- That feels appropriate. - Yeah.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Yeah, I mean, I think we can get away with that
0:07:08 > 0:07:09as long as we don't do stuff like this.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Hey, lovebirds.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15What do I do with this?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17You can just leave it there.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19OK.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23So my mom, Ron, Ann, and that guy.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25K-d-d-d-d-bang.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27For the memorial ribbons?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29No doubt. Which one floats your penis?
0:07:29 > 0:07:31They're all black.
0:07:33 > 0:07:34Maybe to the layman, Jerry.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Obsidian, onyx, midnight,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38lost soul, rolling blackout,
0:07:38 > 0:07:40sleeping panther, and void by Armani.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Hey, Jerry, does this look black to you, too?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47What you saw was not what you think it is.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49I was just congratulating her
0:07:49 > 0:07:51because she got some... some good news.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- Oh, right. - Yeah. We were... we were both kind of up for this thing,
0:07:54 > 0:07:55this, uh, really...
0:07:55 > 0:07:58I won the MacArthur Genius grant.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Yeah. Yeah.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Yeah, so that's what the hug was all about.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03Sure. Congratulations.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- Thank you. - Hey, you know what?
0:08:05 > 0:08:08We'll cover your duties here. You should just take the rest of the day off.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09OK. Well, thanks.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Thank you.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13And thank you for your discretion.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14You got it.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20Welcome, everyone.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Sebastian may have been Li'l,
0:08:23 > 0:08:25but his impact on this town
0:08:25 > 0:08:26and the Parks Department
0:08:26 > 0:08:28was anything but Li'l.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31I would like to introduce two of his closest friends.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Cue music and lights, annnnnd....
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Go Ladybug, go Coconut.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37SWEEPING MUSIC
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Coconut and Ladybug both in position.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Not only was coconut a friend,
0:08:44 > 0:08:46but she was also a lover.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Our deepest sympathy is with you.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Coconut just took a dump on the stage.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51We gotta clean that up.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Code red. Coconut just took a dump onstage.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Hey, Leslie. The maintenance guy bailed on us.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59No-one knows where he is. He had the fuel for the eternal flame.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01No way. That guy left? What a... OK.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Start the video presentation. I'll deal with it.- All right.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Jerry, I need you to go get some propane.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- No, what about my poem?- No-one wants you to read a poem, OK, Jerry?
0:09:09 > 0:09:10What everyone wants,
0:09:10 > 0:09:13what Li'l Sebastian wants,
0:09:13 > 0:09:14is for you to get propane.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Fine. I'll do it for Li'l Sebastian.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Now we have a special presentation,
0:09:21 > 0:09:24courtesy of the folks at entertainment 7/Twenty.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Hope you brought a change of clothes
0:09:26 > 0:09:29cos your eyes are about to piss tears.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31You nasty.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35SENTIMENTAL PIANO MUSIC
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Who are we?
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Where are we going...
0:09:42 > 0:09:44In life?
0:09:44 > 0:09:47What is the meaning of all of this?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49These are questions Li'l Sebastian
0:09:49 > 0:09:51never had to answer
0:09:51 > 0:09:52because he was a horse.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Instead, he just brought us joy and happiness.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59And isn't that the point?
0:09:59 > 0:10:00You gotta join the company.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02I'm the bank. You're the money.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I know, J, but it'd be a big leap.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Then I will take that leap with you.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07I'm Thelma, you're Louise.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10You can't die full of regret.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Why don't you live your life like that cow from the video?
0:10:12 > 0:10:14- He was a horse. - Yeah.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Because he followed his dreams.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19There was no obstacle too large...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21No mountain too high...
0:10:21 > 0:10:25No valley too low...
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Li'l Sebastian had a long life, filled with wonder.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Good night, Li'l Sebastian.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Forever.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34CHEERING
0:10:36 > 0:10:38We'd like to encourage everyone
0:10:38 > 0:10:41to buy our merchandise.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43All the proceeds will go
0:10:43 > 0:10:45towards Li'l Sebastian's favourite charity,
0:10:45 > 0:10:47the Afghan Institute of Learning.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51Next, we have a special musical tribute
0:10:51 > 0:10:52by Mr Andy Dwyer.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56What's 5,000 times better than a candle in the wind?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58This song is called
0:10:58 > 0:11:015,000 Candles In The Wind.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07# Up in horsey heaven
0:11:07 > 0:11:10# Here's the thing
0:11:10 > 0:11:14# You trade your legs for angel's wings
0:11:17 > 0:11:20# And once we've all said
0:11:20 > 0:11:23# Goodbye
0:11:23 > 0:11:25# You take a running leap
0:11:25 > 0:11:29# And you learn to fly
0:11:29 > 0:11:32# Bye-bye
0:11:32 > 0:11:36# Li'l Sebastian
0:11:36 > 0:11:42# I miss you in the saddest fashion
0:11:42 > 0:11:44# Bye-bye
0:11:44 > 0:11:47# Li'l Sebastian
0:11:47 > 0:11:51# You're 5,000 candles in the wind. #
0:11:51 > 0:11:55APPLAUSE
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Hey, why is Perd Hapley unveiling the memorial stone?
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Because Joe from sewage had to hand out the armbands,
0:12:01 > 0:12:03and Perd had to fill in for Mortenson,
0:12:03 > 0:12:04and he had to fill in for Howser.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05OK, well, why couldn't Donna do it?
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Because Donna's reading Jerry's Italian poem.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12SHE READS ITALIAN BADLY
0:12:12 > 0:12:13This is sort of a mess.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- No, it's OK, we're... - What the hell, Leslie?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I thought I was supposed to lay the ceremonial wreath.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Why is Councilman Howser doing it?
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Because you are doing...
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Something better.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27You are lighting the memorial flame,
0:12:27 > 0:12:29which is the greatest honour of all.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Oh, my God. Ron, congratulations.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33I saved it for you, Ron.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Who caught you guys?
0:12:35 > 0:12:36A very nosy maintenance worker,
0:12:36 > 0:12:38and we talked to him, and now we're all friends,
0:12:38 > 0:12:40- and he's not going to tell on us. - It's totally fine.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42I think if you would know one thing about me,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44it would be that I prefer laying wreaths
0:12:44 > 0:12:47to lighting torches.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49I have cried twice in my life.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Once when I was seven,
0:12:51 > 0:12:53and I was hit by a school bus.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56And then again when I heard
0:12:56 > 0:12:58that Li'l Sebastian had passed.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00'His memory will live on...'
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Hup, and...
0:13:02 > 0:13:03'As today we light a fire
0:13:03 > 0:13:06'that will burn on for eternity.'
0:13:07 > 0:13:10OK, deep breath. I think we got through it.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11- Thank God. - Yeah.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Hey, Jerry, you put propane in the eternal flame, right?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17No, they were out. So I just got a big thing of lighter fluid.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19It's kind of the same thing.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20Oh!
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Huh, ho! We planned that!
0:13:23 > 0:13:24Wow, wow!
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Ohhhh!
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- We planned that. - Yay!
0:13:31 > 0:13:35Jeez Ron I am... very sorry... I...
0:13:35 > 0:13:36I guess I put too much fuel in the torch.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Oh, I don't know, Jerry.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40I think you're being hard on yourself.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Are you mad at me?
0:13:41 > 0:13:43cos without eyebrows, I can't really tell.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Ron Swanson loves his facial hair.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48And we burned it off.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51This thing that we're doing, it's unsustainable.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- What, you want to break up? - What? No. I like you.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Well, then... you want to tell Chris.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57What? No. I like my job.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Well, then, what do we do?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00OK, operation shutdown.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02No more secret hand-holding.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04No more smooching in Ann's office.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07In fact, when we're at work, we just shouldn't talk to each other at all.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10OK, well, that's going to be really hard, and we could still get fired.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12I know. But it's worth the risk
0:14:12 > 0:14:14if I can be with you.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17All right. Well, then, I'm in.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18What are you doing? Are you kidding me?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20I'm sorry. No, it's force of habit.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23So what do I do, huh? Do I stay here or roll the dice
0:14:23 > 0:14:25with Jean-Ralphio?
0:14:25 > 0:14:26You have no interest in government work,
0:14:26 > 0:14:30and you slow everything down with your selfish attitude.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32I'd love for you to stick around, Tommy.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35It'll be damn hard to replace you.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37But I'll support you either way.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Two of my lovers in one place. What a coincidence.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Tammy.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43Hello, Ron.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Oop, what happened here?
0:14:45 > 0:14:47And more importantly,
0:14:47 > 0:14:49does the carpet match the face?
0:14:49 > 0:14:52If you're looking for trouble, take it somewhere else.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55An hour ago, a giant fireball consumed my entire face.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58And it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Hm.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Tell that to your pants tent.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04It's just the way I'm standing.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Go back to the library,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08where you belong.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Hey, Glenn. Want to dance?
0:15:13 > 0:15:14No, I'm OK.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- Just one dance? - No.- With mommy?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20MUSIC: "A Horse With No Name" by America
0:15:20 > 0:15:23You know, tendonitis is, uh,
0:15:23 > 0:15:25usually caused by overuse.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Have you been working out more than usual?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29I did do 10,000 push-ups last week.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Oh, really.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34That might have something to do with it.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36You need to relax. You're in great shape.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37For a 44-year-old.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Yeah. That's how old you are, man.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43You're right. I've been overreacting.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44I don't like thinking about death.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Death is the opposite of...
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Being alive?
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Exactly.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Look at us.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Talking like friends.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Yeah.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58What the hell. Friends.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Ann Perkins.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Chris Traeger.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05What's the point in doing 10,000 push-ups
0:16:05 > 0:16:07if you're going to do them alone?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09I'd much rather do 5,000 push-ups
0:16:09 > 0:16:11with a wonderful woman.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Sitting on my back to increase my resistance.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Copy of our new hit single, 5,000 Candles In The Wind,
0:16:18 > 0:16:21and the new full-length CD, The Awesome Album.
0:16:21 > 0:16:2318 bucks each, 40 for the set.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25I don't know. That's... That's a lot of money.
0:16:25 > 0:16:26No, it isn't.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28OK.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Honey, you are awesome at this.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Thanks.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36April, I need to ask you something,
0:16:36 > 0:16:39and it's the biggest thing I've ever asked anybody in my entire life.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Honey, we're already married.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44No, this is way more important than that.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46April Ludgate...
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Would you be my manager?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Seriously?
0:16:50 > 0:16:51OK.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Yeah.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57# ..cannot ride a ghost
0:16:57 > 0:17:00# Bye-bye #
0:17:00 > 0:17:03# Li'l Sebastian... #
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Excuse me. Are you Leslie Knope?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- Yes. - My name is William Barnes.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Do you have a minute to talk? - Sure.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14We really enjoyed the service.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16That fireball was truly amazing.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- I'm glad. cos it was planned. - And you were also responsible
0:17:19 > 0:17:21for the Harvest Festival, correct?
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Well, a lot of people contributed to that.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25You don't have to be modest. We know it was you.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26You did an amazing job.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Thank you.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30We are part of a group that tries to identify
0:17:30 > 0:17:33potential candidates for political office here in town.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35And we think that you might fit the bill.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Oh.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Wow.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Which office in particular?
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Well, there are a couple city council seats we think are vulnerable.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Mm-hmm.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49And the mayor's term is up next year.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Uh... um... huh.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52All we need to know right now is
0:17:52 > 0:17:54are you theoretically interested in running for office?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Absotootly, I am.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Very sorry that I just used that word.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59But, yes.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02I just...
0:18:02 > 0:18:04I've dreamed about this moment for a long time.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Guess I'll be heading home.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Catching the number 12 bus to Satan's butthole?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Actually, I prefer the number 69 train...
0:18:12 > 0:18:13To Humpsville station.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Red alert, Swanson.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Your ex-wife is back.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18No kidding, Donna.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Not her.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21The other ex-wife.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Tammy One.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27She's in your office.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31- Oh,- BLEEP.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Would I have to quit my job?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Look, that's a long way off.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37- Of course. - But listen,
0:18:37 > 0:18:41when you run, even in a local election,
0:18:41 > 0:18:42your life becomes an open book.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44So if you so much as stiff a waiter on his tip
0:18:44 > 0:18:47or use a government stamp for personal mail,
0:18:47 > 0:18:48it will come out.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50So before we go any further,
0:18:50 > 0:18:51I need you to tell me...
0:18:51 > 0:18:53is there a scandal out there?
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Is there anything at all you need to tell us
0:18:57 > 0:18:59about your life?
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Nope.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05All right.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Well, we'll be in touch.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12# ..no, no
0:19:12 > 0:19:17# Yeah, he burned in so little time
0:19:17 > 0:19:21# And things I really want to do. #
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Yeah, I think we can do that for a million.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26OK, we'll talk soon.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27There was no-one on the other end
0:19:27 > 0:19:30of that phone call, but soon there will be.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Welcome to the Dreamatorium,
0:19:32 > 0:19:34AKA The headquarters of Entertainment 7/Twenty.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36We got a pool table, a ping-pong table,
0:19:36 > 0:19:38a couch with a ceiling on it,
0:19:38 > 0:19:40In-house DJ. DJ Blunt.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42And best of all,
0:19:42 > 0:19:44former NBA superstar Detlef Schrempf
0:19:44 > 0:19:46is on retainer. What's up, Detlef?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49So, Tom, what does this business do again?
0:19:49 > 0:19:52It's a multimedia entertainment production conglomerate.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55I don't know, man. You have a lot of overhead here.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Ever thought about scaling back a bit
0:19:57 > 0:19:58and focusing on building your client base?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Thanks a lot, Forbes Magazine.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02But we didn't hire you to give us business advice.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04We hired you to look pretty and shoot baskets.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06So why don't you head over there and do your thing?
0:20:06 > 0:20:09We want people to see you when they come in, Detlef.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Big D, hit me! Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Come on!
0:20:12 > 0:20:14We're living the dream.