0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:08All the great entrepreneurs started somewhere. Your Donald Trumps, your Duncan Bannatynes,
0:00:08 > 0:00:13the Apprentice guy, Alan Shearer. They all started in something like this.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Welcome to the dream factory!
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Where dreams are made!
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Mainly T-shirts, though.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24What makes a good T-shirt?
0:00:24 > 0:00:27I think deceptiveness, you know?
0:00:27 > 0:00:30So you look at a T-shirt and you think, "Oh, that's Gucci, isn't it?"
0:00:30 > 0:00:32And then you look carefully and it's Coochi.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Dolce and Gabbana?
0:00:34 > 0:00:37No, mate. Deepak and Gurdeve.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38- MAN:- How many T-shirts have you bought?
0:00:38 > 0:00:42This is all the T-shirts here, so I've got 6,000 of these.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44But I mean, so far, I've done around two.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Bloody upside down, isn't it?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Oh, shit!
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Oh, fuck!
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Bloody hell, it's harder than I thought.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00I should have people doing this for me, really.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Bastard!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Are you excited about your day today?- Yeah.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Because Mummy's going to be working all day, so...
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Right, well, give Mummy a hug.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Yes...
0:01:10 > 0:01:12I'll miss you. Ah...
0:01:12 > 0:01:14- Right, I'll see you after work, then.- All right.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Still feels a bit weird saying that.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17All right, Ange.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19You're going to have a fun day with your daddy today.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21I want to go to Nana's.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23No, Nana's on holiday, ain't she, Ange?
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Yeah, your precious nana is getting her rat out in Zante.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Stop it! She's gone to visit her lover.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Lover? He's, like, 17 years old and hands out flyers outside a pub!
0:01:32 > 0:01:35- He's hardly a lover. - He can't even speak English.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Well, love is still the same whether it's in English or in foreign.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- I'll see you after five. - All right, laters.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46SWITCH CLICKS REPEATEDLY
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Fucking light bulbs. They put them too high up.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Oh, fuck's sake!
0:02:03 > 0:02:07Craig, don't use the downstairs toilet, mate.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08The light's not working.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Mum said you have to fix it.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13She's always trying to get us to fix stuff, innit?
0:02:13 > 0:02:15She says she's sick of shitting in the dark,
0:02:15 > 0:02:18makes it way more intense to what it needs to be.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Yeah, it is quite intense. You don't know where you're at with the wipes.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Hello, Lavender. Miche speaking.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35OK, yeah, I'll just put you on hold.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36So this is my new work.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39This is Lavender Hair & Beauty.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42At the moment, I'm on a probation period,
0:02:42 > 0:02:44so that sort of means I'm on a, er...
0:02:44 > 0:02:48It's like an audition, but it's for the role of a hairdresser.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50So, yeah.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Yeah, would that be the full body or is that the half wax?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55OK, great. I'll just put you on hold.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Hello, Lavender. Miche speaking.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Yeah, what sort of therapy or procedure would you be interested in today?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Yep. I'll just pop you on hold.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- You all right, Miche?- Oh, Tanya!
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Yeah, just practising my phone technique.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Is there a hold button?
0:03:11 > 0:03:12No.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13Oh, OK.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23KNOCK ON DOOR
0:03:23 > 0:03:26There's the door. Get the door, please, Angel.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30I don't need to constantly hang around with a little girl.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31That's weird.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35People get arrested for things like that. Why should I be doing that?
0:03:35 > 0:03:36And then, people are going to see me, like,
0:03:36 > 0:03:39"What? He just hangs around with little chicks?"
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- And no-ones going to respect me no more.- She's your daughter.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Go give Grindah his jacket, as well.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- You lot...- Yeah, we'll follow you. - All right, sweet.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Chabuddy is recruiting.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05It's official, guys.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Yeah? Know what I mean?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09No questions here, as well. You don't need any visa.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12You know there's a lot of guys out there at the moment
0:04:12 > 0:04:16who are looking for work and today I am their knight in shiny armour.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I remember how happy I was when I got my first job.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23It was in Lahore. I was 12 years old.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26And I had the opportunity to work for Nissan.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Blown away.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29Unfortunately, when I got there,
0:04:29 > 0:04:32I realised it was just a prawn-peeling factory
0:04:32 > 0:04:34and my boss's nickname was Nissan.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Cos he drove a Nissan, isn't it?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Are you struggling to find work?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Do you like clothes and money AND women?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Then this might be the opportunity for you.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Come down to my sweatshop, to my warehouse...
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Come down to my warehouse and get some work in, mate.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51# Hype-hype riddem and sound
0:04:51 > 0:04:53# Hype-hype riddem and sound
0:04:53 > 0:04:54# Hype-hype riddem and sound
0:04:54 > 0:04:56# The music-music makes me down
0:04:56 > 0:04:58# Hype-hype riddem and sound
0:04:58 > 0:05:00# Hype-hype riddem and sound
0:05:00 > 0:05:02# Hype-hype riddem and sound
0:05:02 > 0:05:03# The music-music makes me down
0:05:03 > 0:05:05# Hype for the riddem is oh seleck
0:05:05 > 0:05:07# Hype for the riddem is oh seleck
0:05:07 > 0:05:09# MC Grindah with the intellect
0:05:09 > 0:05:11# I say hype for the riddem It's a boom seleck! #
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Can we get rid of all these ashtrays and that, cos of Angel?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Do you need me to blaze this outside, as well?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Good point, actually.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Don't want her to develop a taste for it too early.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Angel's been spending a lot more time with Grindah and Decoy
0:05:22 > 0:05:25since I've been working, so, yeah, that's nice.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- MAN:- How is Grindah finding it with you not around as much?
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Oh, well, I think Grindah's coping now I'm working.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34There were a few problems at first,
0:05:34 > 0:05:37because he couldn't quite understand when his meal times were.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41So I had to leave him sort of little boxes in the fridge of all his different food
0:05:41 > 0:05:43and I'd send him a message or whatever when he should eat it.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47# Man, like Angel, stepping up, stepping in. #
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Don't clang any of the mixes though, yeah?
0:05:49 > 0:05:50We're live on air, yeah?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52# Selecta, selecta
0:05:55 > 0:05:57# Kurupt FM. #
0:05:57 > 0:05:59I push this like this?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- No, don't... - Chill out, mate. Just...
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Yeah, but I spent ages setting that up.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- I reckon we should just take her out, man.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Angel, where would you like to go?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11I want to go to Nana's.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15She's constantly, like, "Oh, Nana does this, Nana does that."
0:06:15 > 0:06:17She's just trying to throw it in my face.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19And I know what Angel's doing. She's clever.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21She wants me to rise to that,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24so that I can be the best father I can be.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26And for that, mate, I respect her.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28OK, change of plan.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32All right, do your jacket up. Put yourself over there.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34You all right to look after it all till Miche gets back?
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- Yeah, man, of course. Yeah, definitely.- Sweet.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38I can trust you, yeah?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Yeah! When have I ever let you down recently?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44You can go back in now, Steves, mate.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46See you in a bit.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Bloody government, always trying to hold you down, isn't it, you know?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54I'm offering a job where you can be your own boss.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Just jump in my van and do exactly what I tell you.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Hello, mate. Do you want a job? Jump in the van, mate.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Anyone want a job?
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Recruiting is about confidence.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07One thing that people love is confidence.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10I can sell anything to anyone, anywhere, any time, anywho,
0:07:10 > 0:07:12any what, why, where, who, why, when.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Vintage, madam. Look at that.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Cash money, bro.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Wait till I pull up in the Merc, yeah?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19They're going to see the tash and the shoes,
0:07:19 > 0:07:21they're going to say, "Yes, that's my new boss."
0:07:23 > 0:07:25I don't get it. You know, in the films,
0:07:25 > 0:07:26they jump straight into your van.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28You open the doors, they come in.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Maybe it only works with Mexicans.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Where can I find some Mexicans?
0:07:39 > 0:07:41If you put something in for about six weeks,
0:07:41 > 0:07:43- once your regrowth has come through, yeah?- Yeah, OK, great.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47And then that's £50 for today, thank you.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- There you go.- Oh, lovely, thanks.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50Erm, great.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52And so I hope you enjoyed your Lavender experience.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- Thank you very much. - Have a great day.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58When I first worked here, I didn't actually know what Lavender meant.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00But, obviously, I Googled it
0:08:00 > 0:08:03and, yeah, I found out that it is a tone of purple.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- MAN:- And it smells of lavender in here, as well.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Er, well, it's purple.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12The plant, I mean.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14No, this is a colour.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18What about the picture behind you?
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Yeah, it's purple.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22No, the plant.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Yeah, no, it's a purple plant. Is that what you mean?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31# Pure Kuruption... #
0:08:34 > 0:08:35You seen this?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38It's normally Grindah's chair but,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41as acting head honcho today, I can use it.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Being second-in-command involves actually taking on
0:08:46 > 0:08:48the more stressful side of the work.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50I'd better not overdo it, though.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54So it's part and parcel of the game, really, innit?
0:08:54 > 0:08:57I'm like a paramedic. I'm always on call.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01Right about now, you're locked into the sounds of the legendary,
0:09:01 > 0:09:03the absolute number one,
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Kurupt FM 108.9 on your dial!
0:09:07 > 0:09:08- Steves!- Yeah?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Can you make me a tea, please, bruv?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13- Yeah.- Cheers, mate.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- What?- Bruv, all the lights just went out at the same time.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25I think the poltergeist's back.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27It's definitely something to do with the electricity.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28It is to do with electricity
0:09:28 > 0:09:30because poltergeists control the electricity.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- That's what I've been trying to say. - What?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35- Poltergeists control electricity. - Is it?
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Yeah. They take out electricity,
0:09:38 > 0:09:41and then they put it on again, but only the TV.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42And then you get sucked into the TV
0:09:42 > 0:09:44and you're a little girl or something.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Don't get me started on the poltergeists, mate.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50I've heard murmured voices through the walls.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52I've heard creaking late at night.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56All... Other things, as well.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58So what other explanation is there?
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Supernatural occurrence.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Steves, stop with this poltergeist shit, mate.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06You're throwing me off.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Like, I really need to think.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Grindah's going to go mad if he comes back and sees all this.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14I'm going to go and check the mirrors,
0:10:14 > 0:10:16cos sometimes you can see them in the mirrors.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23One, two, three, aaargh!
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Oh, my God!
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Angel, do the jump, as well!
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- Do the jump backwards!- No!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31No, probably not, actually.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Mummy would be furious if you broke something.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Well, the most important thing to me, as a parent,
0:10:36 > 0:10:38is seeing my kid happy.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42And more importantly than that
0:10:42 > 0:10:45is knowing that she loves me more than anyone else in the world.
0:10:45 > 0:10:50Like, I know for a fact that Angel loves me more than her nan.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Cos when she draws pictures of the family, Nana's never in them.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57If she was, I'd tear it up and Angel knows that.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01For example, you've got a beautiful one here that she done.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05And it's just me, Angel and her mum, do you know what I mean?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Oh, yeah, and Decoy, as well.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Just cos he's around quite a lot, so she includes him.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13So that's off.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15On. Off.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17No difference.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18On.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22It's definitely an electrical issue.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Call Grindah. - I'm not calling Grindah, bruv.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25We're going to sort it.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Call Chabuds.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Bruv, I'm not calling Chabuds. Cos Grindah will find out.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31I'm going to sort it.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Who pays the electricity bills? Does your nan still sort that?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Yeah, she still does all the bills and everything.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Give her a call. I've got credit.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41She ain't got a phone, though.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44She destroyed it, because I showed her a documentary
0:11:44 > 0:11:46about how the government track you through your phone.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48That's a good point.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Right. We're going to go see her.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52- Now?- Yeah, now.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56We need to sort this out, Steve, I told you.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Right, let me get a zoot for the road.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01- Yeah.- You not got a Rizla? - We'll get some at the shop.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03Have you not got any?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Steve, we don't have time. Pop yourself off.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Angel, up this way, as well. Watch! Watch!
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- Get out of the way, it's my turn! - No, it's not!- Get out the way!
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- Stop!- Oh, get out the way, it's my turn.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Stop!
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Don't do that!
0:12:19 > 0:12:22All right, get out of the way! Get out of the way!
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Oh, look, you can go like this, as well!- Stop it!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Your nan couldn't do that, could she?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Hey...! Backwards, as well!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33She's really cute. How old is she?
0:12:33 > 0:12:35No, she's not mine. None of them are.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39Oh, whatever, mate.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Who do you think they like more out of you and me?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44"Oh, my child can't go on the slide."
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Or me, the one who does it backwards, mate?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48You see that?
0:12:48 > 0:12:50I just went on the thing backwards!
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- They'd never seen anything like it. - You killed it, man. I seen you.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Her nan could never do anything like that in her pathetic little life.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Phew!
0:12:59 > 0:13:01There you go, bro.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Nice one.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- Hey, there she is!- Here she is.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Have you got the phone? Going to call Beats.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Oh, he's not answering.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13He's probably mixing, man.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Yeah, maybe.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19- If she has stopped paying the electricity, that is just proper selfish, Steves.- Hello, Lorna.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Hello, Steves.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Happy girl, we call her.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Don't touch anything.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Hi, Steve.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31How are you?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Just normal, innit?
0:13:35 > 0:13:36Steves...
0:13:37 > 0:13:38I'm going to wait here.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Old people weird me out a bit.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- In-and-out job with your nan, all right?- In and out?- Yeah.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52"Never too old to dream big and set new goals."
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Once you go past 40, mate, do you know what I mean?
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Give up.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Literally.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Here she is.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Oh, Na-na! What's going on?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Oh, what a surprise!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Yes.- I didn't expect you.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13How you doing, all right? What's going on? Good?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15- Lovely.- What are you lot saying?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Oh! I've got something for you, actually.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20I was going to ask you something, as well.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21What was it?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Keep them hidden.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Nurse sorted them out for me.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- They're mental.- They're good, yeah?
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Yeah.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Has he been on them? He looks fucked!
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Oh, he's always away with the fairies.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44"Fire safety for people with sight, hearing and mobility difficulty."
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Good luck, do you know what I mean?
0:14:50 > 0:14:52They're playing a little bit of footy.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Pretty agile, actually, for their age.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57They could be good workers. I might have a little butchers,
0:14:57 > 0:14:59see if they're up for a bit of work.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02The thing is with these kids, yeah, you've got to relate to them.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04You've got to impress them, show them you know a bit about footy.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06They used to call me Bombay Becks.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Do you need another player?
0:15:09 > 0:15:10All right, let me see the ball, OK?
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Just one second, I'll show you some skills and that. Just...
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Leave us alone!
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Anyway, listen, any of you lot up for a bit of work?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- A bit of cash-in-hand work?- No.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28No?
0:15:29 > 0:15:30- Hey, ese, are you Mexican?- No.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- So you're not up for any work?- No.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36All right.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38You lot are shit, anyway.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42I've found it hard, man. These kids don't want to work any more.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46Like, I was working from the age of eight with a tache, you know?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49And it's like these kids just want to lay about on chat roulette,
0:15:49 > 0:15:51dicks everywhere, sending dick pics, you know?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Snatch snaps...
0:15:53 > 0:15:56What they're into, these kids, it's nothing, really, you know?
0:15:56 > 0:15:57It's like, you know?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05I might just have one, to be fair.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07You all right, Steve? Hello.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09You all right? Everyone all right here?
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just having a little plate of biscuits.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14Yes, thank you.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18- Really enjoying them, actually, thank you.- All right, love?- Definitely.
0:16:19 > 0:16:24When we met Steves, he was like, the kid used to live with his nan.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25How sad is that? Do you know what I mean?
0:16:25 > 0:16:27And then when we come along,
0:16:27 > 0:16:30we sort of gave him the push to get her out of the flat
0:16:30 > 0:16:32and we started pirate radio, do you know what I mean?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34And now look at him now.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37He's got the fucking four-till-five graveyard shift on Kurupt FM.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- DJ Steves. He used to just be Steves.- Yeah.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46HE TAKES A SNORT
0:16:46 > 0:16:47That's for my back.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48Ah, yeah, yeah.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51That's a nice little burn at the back of the throat.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Yeah, that's good.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Little hint of wild berry!
0:16:57 > 0:17:00- Like she's talking about wine, but it's drugs.- Yes, yes.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01That's a good year, that.
0:17:01 > 0:17:051995 was a very good year for pills.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Yeah.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08HE MIMICS HER VOICE: 1995 was a...
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Yeah. I can't really do voices.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12No.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Wheeeeee!
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Angel!
0:17:19 > 0:17:21HE WHISTLES
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Come here, boy!
0:17:23 > 0:17:25There you go. See that?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27The secret of parenting. They're basically like dogs.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Just give them sweets and then they just run around. It's easy.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Oh, I'm killing it, aren't I?
0:17:33 > 0:17:34Wheeeeee!
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Come on, Beats, mate.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39PHONE RINGS
0:17:39 > 0:17:41- MAN:- Who's that?
0:17:41 > 0:17:42It's Grindah.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44PHONE STILL RINGING
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Probably wants to know why radio's not on.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Are you worried? - Yeah, a little bit, because
0:17:50 > 0:17:53if he gets back there and no-ones there, he's going to be fuming.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57And we're not on air, so he's going to be even more fuming.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Is it important for Kurupt to stay on air?
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Yeah, of course. If you want to be London's leading,
0:18:03 > 0:18:06you can, literally, never go down, like.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09PHONE STILL RINGING
0:18:09 > 0:18:10And again.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15PHONE RINGS
0:18:15 > 0:18:17I'll just put it away.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Out of sight, out of mind.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Where is Steve, anyway, though?
0:18:21 > 0:18:24PHONE RINGS
0:18:24 > 0:18:26No, still answer machine.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30No, we've got to get back. I'm getting worried now.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Angel!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- We're going.- Sweets! - No, no more sweets.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36We're going. Come on.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38All right, see you lot in a bit, yeah?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- Just catch us up wherever.- I want to go and play more!- This way.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43I want to play more!
0:18:43 > 0:18:46- Life's not all about fun, Angel. You've had too much fun.- Yes, it is!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48If you have too much fun, you can get a headache.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Daddy Grindah gets them all the time and they're not very good.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58..because people actually have that voice in real life.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Hello. Nice to meet you.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Bruv, we need to do one. Did you find out about the electricity?
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Oh, that's what I was going to do.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Did you stop paying the electricity?
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Yeah, we got cut off.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10That's weird. You're on a meter.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Ah, the meter must have run out.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15No, couldn't have. No.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17I rigged that meter with a magnet.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19What's happened?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Basically, all I know is, yeah,
0:19:21 > 0:19:24I was plugging in my new kettle and then I think a poltergeist has...
0:19:24 > 0:19:26A new kettle, yeah?
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Well, you've blown the fuse, haven't you, you daft twat.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31- That's all it is.- It's the fuse box.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34We just go to the kettle and get the fuse box out of it.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Is the fuse box at Steves' flat?
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Right, we've got to go.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Fuse box.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Come on, Steves.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42- All right. Sorry, Nan. I've got to go.- Here!
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Don't forget these.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- Oh, yeah. You definitely don't need these, yeah?- No, no. No.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Oh, that's sweet.- You'll enjoy them far more than I will.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51Probably will, to be fair.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Anyway, I can always get some more, can't I?
0:19:53 > 0:19:55"Oooh, I must have lost them. So sorry."
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- No, I've got them, Nan. You just gave them to me!- Oh, no, you great idiot!
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- Go on, get out.- I've got to go. - Bye, Steves' Nan! Nice to meet you.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02- Bye, Nan.- Cheers.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- She's all right for an old, actually.- Yeah.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06You wally.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12- What's going on? Why's...? - What's up?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Well, it's not picking it up.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15It probably don't reach this far.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17It barely reaches beyond the blocks, like.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Don't try and blame Kurupt FM
0:20:19 > 0:20:21because your shitty little radio ain't up to par.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23More sweets!
0:20:24 > 0:20:25Just have loads, all right?
0:20:31 > 0:20:34If he gets back before us, I'm fucked.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35Yeah.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Is that our bus?- That's our bus!
0:20:37 > 0:20:39All right, let me get the whistle.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41HE BLOWS WHISTLE
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Got it from carnival.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46- Does that feel OK to you? - Yeah, that's nice.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49- Is the temperature all right for you?- Yeah.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53I've put on quite a lot of foam so it gives you a deeper sort of clean.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Sorry, just bear with me a one second.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- Hurry up.- What are you doing here?
0:20:59 > 0:21:02I've got to get back to the radio, so I've got to drop her off here.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05No, no, I don't finish for another hour, though.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Yeah, I'm a little bit early, but better than being late, innit?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- It's a good thing. - Hiya. You OK, Miche?
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Tanya!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Erm, sorry about this.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Er, well, this is my little girl, Angel, who I told you about.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19And this is Grindah, who is her dad and my boyfriend.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Oh, and that's just his friend, though.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24We're just dropping off the little one.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27If she does cause any trouble, a little tip for you,
0:21:27 > 0:21:29just give her a load of sweets every few minutes.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31And then she'll be happy. Yeah? See you in a bit.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33- Really sorry about this. - Sweet. See you later, girl.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35All right, well, Mummy's shampooing.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- No, Mummy's shampooing!- Angel!
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- Mummy just said pooing! - Mummy said pooing!- See you later.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41Poo! Poo! Poo!
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Hi, Angel.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Would you like to have your nails done?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Mummy said pooing!
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Sorry, Tanya.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- Angel!- Maybe just finish up there and then take a little break.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52I'm really sorry about this,
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- but if you just keep relaxing. - You're a poo!
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Tanya, I'm really sorry, OK?
0:21:56 > 0:21:58It's OK. It's fine. It's fine.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- I think she's just had too many sweets.- Angel! Angel!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04You all right, little man-child?
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Hey, listen, do you want to make a little bit of extra cash and that,
0:22:07 > 0:22:09for, like, your Myspace page, maybe want to pimp it out?
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- Facebook and that.- Excuse me?
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Hello.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Come on, Steves, mate, we haven't got time.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Bruv!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Bruv, do you want any of these?
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Steves, we need to find the fucking fuse box, mate!
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Where did your nan say it was?
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Do you reckon the government just give old people, like, drugs
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- just to try it out on them, sort of thing?- Fucking hell.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Because, like, if they die, then it's not suspicious circumstances.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43What's wrong with you? Grindah could be back any second.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45You fucking moron! We need to find it now.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46Oh, man...
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Quick! Don't you even care?
0:22:48 > 0:22:52I might just bosh a load of these because I'm not really feeling it right now.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Such a freak!
0:22:54 > 0:22:57What does it even look like? Is it a different colour to a normal box?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59It's a box that has electricity inside it!
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Have you checked these ones?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08- I can't even hear the tunes, man. - Don't point it upwards.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09Don't film that bit.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11I'll look in the kitchen.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15You getting anything in there, Steves?
0:23:17 > 0:23:18No.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Get in, get in.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Don't let me down, Beats, mate.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30RAP MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Easy, boys. What's going on?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- Yeah, man, nothing.- Good.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Everything running smoothly, innit? - Yeah, yeah.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Nice, nice.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40We got the old power back up and running and that.
0:23:40 > 0:23:41What? Yeah, what?
0:23:41 > 0:23:43What?
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Steven, you're getting slightly confused with your new medication.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Yeah? Do you want to carry on doing your record bag? Thank you.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56It is really tough to run Kurupt Radio.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58It's not that tough for me, because I'm naturally gifted.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59Do you know what I mean?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- It's back-breaking labour for you, do you know what I mean?- Yeah.
0:24:02 > 0:24:03Oh...
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Who's...
0:24:07 > 0:24:10Who's changed the lumbar support on this?
0:24:10 > 0:24:11Who's been on my seat?
0:24:13 > 0:24:17I think Steves may have used it earlier to do his records.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Steves, mate.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21It's my seat. Beats knows that.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22He'd never touch it.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24I'm having blackouts again.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26I don't even remember doing that.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31- Easy. You good, yeah?- Yeah.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Watch out, because Angel's been sick on the carpet.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Probably all the bloody excitement she had today.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- She had, like, loads of sweets and that.- Yeah?
0:24:38 > 0:24:41It was sort of just a big sort of spray of multicoloured jelly.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Oh, not that bad, then, really, as sick goes.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- She said she had a nice day, anyway. - Nice day?
0:24:46 > 0:24:47Angel!
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Angel, did you say you and Daddy had a nice day?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53- No, we had the best day ever, didn't we?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Better than with your nana, innit?
0:24:55 > 0:24:56Yeah, high-five. High-five.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- Boom. There you have it, people! - Keep your voice down.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02I am officially better than your mum!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- Tell your mum. - I should probably get going.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06- Cool, mate. Nice one. - Bye, Decoy. See you tomorrow.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07Oh, man!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11That's actually put me in a great mood, to be honest. Yeah.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15LOUD MUSIC PLAYS
0:25:15 > 0:25:17HAMMERING ON DOOR
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Weh-hey!
0:25:22 > 0:25:25So listen, I thought I'd come and chat with Grindah.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27See if anyone was up for a little bit of work.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Yeah? No, they're all gone.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33I've just been sort of just here on my own, actually,
0:25:33 > 0:25:35just finishing up for the night and that.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38I've just realised that I've sorted the entire vinyl collection.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39It's all in order now. Alphabetical.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- INTERVIEWER:- What do your nan's drugs actually do?
0:25:43 > 0:25:45It just livens you up. Livens you up.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Because old people, they slow down at that age.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50So if you aren't old and then you do that,
0:25:50 > 0:25:53you're moving at double the speed.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Stevie, what time do you finish, mate?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05SWITCH CLICKS ON AND OFF REPEATEDLY
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Roche.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11OK.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17You heard of these little things called 40-watt light bulbs?
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Yeah, yeah, replace them up sometimes, fuse boxes, whatever.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23I could do washing machines, whatever you're after, really.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Chill.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Anyone need a shit?
0:26:27 > 0:26:30- Already had two today. - No, you go for it, love.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35Well, actually, I wonder if I left the bathroom light on downstairs.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38Hm...
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Oh, you fixed it?
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Thanks, love. Not just a pretty face, are you?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Exactly.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51It's amazing when he's like this, you know?
0:26:51 > 0:26:52He's like a machine.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56And everyone says he's some brain-dead weirdo!
0:26:56 > 0:26:58- Huh?- No, nothing.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00I can't wait for the world to see
0:27:00 > 0:27:02our replica designer brand, you know?
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Look at this!
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Limited edition Rolf Lauren.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Polo, mate.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12- Jockey's bigger than the horse on that.- Exactly!
0:27:12 > 0:27:14This guy is great.
0:27:14 > 0:27:15Dream job, innit?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Stay focused, Stevie. Stay focused.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22TOILET FLUSHES
0:27:22 > 0:27:23She's finished.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29How was it?
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Oh, get out my house!