0:00:02 > 0:00:04Stevie!
0:00:04 > 0:00:06- I'm going to shoot off, mate. - Yeah, yeah.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10- I've topped up your snack bowl. All right, mate?- Sweet, bruv.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Just locking him in to keep him safe.
0:00:14 > 0:00:19This programme contains strong language and adult humour
0:00:19 > 0:00:21You know, business is going great at the moment.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25I have my T-shirt business, I have my internet cabin cafe business.
0:00:25 > 0:00:30But the hardest business to manage is the business of love, you know?
0:00:30 > 0:00:35I will wait for Aldona for as long as it takes.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38If she needs to blow off a bit of steam and a bit of my money,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40then that's her business.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44It's good to blow off steam, there's no shame in that.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45It's healthy.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50First one in, last one to leave.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Shows that I'm dedicated, though. So...
0:00:52 > 0:00:53BEEPING
0:00:58 > 0:01:01I am a bit tired today, though.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03So, why are you tired?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Grindah's got insomnia cos of the weed drought,
0:01:05 > 0:01:08so he just kept waking me up through the night to check
0:01:08 > 0:01:11if I'd gone to sleep yet and asking me for glasses of water and that.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Bless him.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Danger. How's it going, mate? You all right?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Yeah, still doing the radio stuff.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Just wanted to know if you've got anything at the moment.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29He will buy a zoot, like, literally, it's that bad.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33Obviously I can function without weed, but I choose not to
0:01:33 > 0:01:36because if I don't smoke, I start getting headaches,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38worrying about everything.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Like, "Aah! I got bills to pay."
0:01:39 > 0:01:45Or, "Aah, someone's going to cut off whatever if I don't pay it now."
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Weed helps you forget all that.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Alfa Danger's got nothing, man.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Fuck's sake.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Decoy, come on, mate, you must be able to get something.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- You're a Rasta, for fuck's sake, come on.- I'm not a Rasta.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Course you are. Just cos you ain't got the long hair and that.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Don't sell yourself short, Decoy.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Sometimes I really think it's wasted on him.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14There she is! You did it! Congratulations!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Oh, thank you!- Ooh!- Thank you.- Yes!
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Look at it! - Aw, it looks brilliant.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- Angela's just passed her Level 1 hairdressing certificate.- Great!
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- Yeah? Pop that in a frame, Miche, go on.- OK, then.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28What did your mum say?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Doesn't really need to be framed...
0:02:30 > 0:02:33'Well, Angela's been here a bit longer than me
0:02:33 > 0:02:35'but we are both trainee hairdressers'
0:02:35 > 0:02:37and so basically what that means
0:02:37 > 0:02:40is we are training to become hairdressers.
0:02:40 > 0:02:45Our roles are basically the same, she's definitely not above me.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Look at that! Pride of place, Level 1 hairdressing. Angela Wilson.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52I mean, obviously the big dream is to have my own beauty range
0:02:52 > 0:02:54with my face on it.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56I'm probably aiming a little bit higher than her.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Cos, not being funny, but I don't think her face would really work
0:02:59 > 0:03:01for a beauty range.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Because today's a special day, I've got you with Susan all day.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- You're going to be working on colours.- Oh, my God.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Are you serious?- Yeah, you deserve it! You worked really hard.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- You all right, Miche?- Yeah. - Good girl.- I'm just sweeping.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Actually, Miche, I've got a nail appointment in about 20 minutes.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18I can do that, yeah.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Oh, not do the appointment.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I was just thinking, if you could clear up in the treatment room.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25I did a couple of Brazilians in there yesterday.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- Yeah. OK. - It's a bit of a state in there.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Good lad, good lad.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36That's it, good guy.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Stevie, you're a machine, man, you don't bloody stop!
0:03:40 > 0:03:44I did actually try and stop but the door was, like, locked.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Probably jammed or something.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Anyway, listen, you're a free man now!
0:03:48 > 0:03:51And tomorrow these T-shirts are going to be
0:03:51 > 0:03:53all the talk of Hounslow high street.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57D&G T-shirts at half the retail price of Dolce and Gabbana.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00D&G.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04Deepak and Gurdev have a right to make their own T-shirts too, man.
0:04:04 > 0:04:10I mean... Oh, mate, we are going to make so much money, man!
0:04:10 > 0:04:13We are? Do I get paid or anything?
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Yeah, you get your printing fee,
0:04:16 > 0:04:18which I was going to give to you anyway.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20So, let's see how much that is.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22So round it up, obviously,
0:04:22 > 0:04:24cash-flow, net profit, take away the working tax credit.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Let's round it up to a tenner.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Ah, rounded it up as well. - There we go.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32£10, just for that!
0:04:32 > 0:04:36I'll keep that safe.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37That's actually safer than a wallet
0:04:37 > 0:04:40cos you can't really lose your socks while they're on.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44All right, man, I'm going to do one.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Have a nap, mate. He hasn't slept for, like, four days.
0:04:58 > 0:04:59Oh...
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Going to have to have a scud zoot.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Got a few crumbs here. Found anything?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Tiny bit of resin, couple of seeds
0:05:06 > 0:05:09from that bush-weed Steves had as well.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13- Did you ever used to watch Blue Peter back in the day?- Nah.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Maybe we could bury bare weed in a time capsule
0:05:16 > 0:05:18and put it in the garden.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Or we could bury these seeds in a plant pot?
0:05:24 > 0:05:26We could grow our own.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- That is sick!- Yeah. - We'd never have a drought again!
0:05:29 > 0:05:34Yeah. We could even call it the Kurupt FM Weed Farm!
0:05:34 > 0:05:36We could put it in the bathroom, as well,
0:05:36 > 0:05:39it'd be like a natural air freshener.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44You could, like, bill a zoot whilst taking a shit! Proper luxurious.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I would love that.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Have you ever grown weed before?
0:05:48 > 0:05:53Well, you know, I mean, it's not something
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- we can actually talk about on camera, you know what I mean?- Nah.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58But let's say if you had a helicopter
0:05:58 > 0:06:00with a heat sensitive camera on,
0:06:00 > 0:06:03floating over the top of Kurupt, you'd know what time it is.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Exactly. That's all we're saying.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07So you have?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- That's all we're saying. - My lips are sealed.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Exactly. So are mine.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28Aldona?!
0:06:29 > 0:06:30Oh, my...
0:06:34 > 0:06:38- Baby?!- I'm so sorry! - You came back!
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Where the fuck have you been? I was so worried.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51I can't even describe it!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53There's no words, it's like...
0:06:53 > 0:06:56All the doubters were doubting me, and, like, they all said
0:06:56 > 0:06:58"Oh, you're crazy!"
0:06:58 > 0:06:59And you know what? Maybe I am!
0:06:59 > 0:07:01But the voices in my head were telling me,
0:07:01 > 0:07:03"Just end it all, mate, you're a failure!
0:07:03 > 0:07:05"There's no point, what's the point, mate?
0:07:05 > 0:07:07"Kill yourself!"
0:07:07 > 0:07:10But, no, if it's crazy to be in love,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13then I'm bloody mental batshit crazy, mate!
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Lock me up!
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- Your hair's looking in really good condition.- That's good.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Really good, considering you're getting coloured and stuff.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30You must condition it a lot. Just keep doing what you're doing.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34I think you might have missed a bit there, Angela?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36So, did you actually find the course useful, then?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Yeah, it was really good, actually.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I feel like hairdressing was a bit more of a natural talent for me.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43I don't really need to do a course.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I just did it cos you need the qualification, don't you?
0:07:46 > 0:07:48If you're going to cut hair in a salon and that.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Yeah, no. I'm doing one at the moment, actually.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54I was just saying that I don't NEED one.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- Where did you do yours?- Hammersmith.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Oh, all right, you went for a local one.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Yeah - why, where did you do yours?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Well, mine's actually international.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Really? Whereabouts?
0:08:06 > 0:08:07The internet.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11An online course, but the internet's based in America, so...
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Well, I haven't started the online course yet,
0:08:13 > 0:08:15but I'm in the enrolment process,
0:08:15 > 0:08:17so I've started my online application.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21I've put in my e-mail address and my name and that kind of thing,
0:08:21 > 0:08:25I just need to put in my payment details and then I'll be good to go.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29- You've had two already! - Sorry, mate.- Three tokes!
0:08:32 > 0:08:33DOOR OPENS
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Yes, you lot.- Yes, Steves.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Is that a zoot?
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Nah, there's only a tiny bit left.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Plus there's a weed drought, you know the rules, mate.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44I've got a tenner though.
0:08:44 > 0:08:49- Your tenner's completely pointless, Steves.- Fuck's sake.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Anyway, we're going to start a Kurupt FM Weed Farm, so...
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Can't Decoy or anyone get anything?
0:08:55 > 0:09:01What? Why would Decoy be able to get any? So racist.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03You've completely disgraced yourself.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05In front of these boys. I think you need to go out
0:09:05 > 0:09:07and get us the stuff for the weed farm, Steves.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12We need to get plant pots, soil and 3D lights as well, yeah?
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- UV, innit?- Same thing, mate. You hear that?
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Allow me, man... I've literally just, like... I've just got in.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Steves, mate. You don't deserve to relax
0:09:21 > 0:09:23after your little racist outburst.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25You're not wanted around here for a bit.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28What's said is said, mate, all right?
0:09:28 > 0:09:29- What even is UV? - I cannot believe that.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35You know back in the day, sort of Game of Thrones times,
0:09:35 > 0:09:40they always had a stupid idiot that would work for them.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41- Yeah.- You know what I mean?
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Hold it down, hold it down.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47Powerful people always have idiots around them to help them do things.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Why spend a tenner when you can get it for free, like?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Free soil, as well.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I need something to put these in.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Ah, just doing a bit of recycling.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11So, is Steves trustworthy?
0:10:11 > 0:10:13He's like a dog -
0:10:13 > 0:10:18he'll follow you about, but have no idea what's going on.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23Take that one, as well. Cover that up.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- And a gnome.- What you doing?
0:10:26 > 0:10:27- Oi!- Sorry!- Oi!- Sorry!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Oi!
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Think we need some new magazines, actually.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Just got you a tea, so I'll pop it down here.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Miche?
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Miche?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44- Can you get any bud?- What?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Draw! Can you get any draw?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48No, I don't know anyone that can get any draw.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- Mum's not with Jason any more. - Ask one of these lot, then.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54They're my work colleagues. They don't even know I smoke!
0:10:54 > 0:10:56What?! They'll think you're cool, if anything.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57I'll get fired.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01There's already this girl who's basically after my job.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03I've had an absolute brainwave, mate!
0:11:03 > 0:11:07Listen, I ain't got time to talk about your new work friends.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- UV. There. - I'm not really into that, mate.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Yeah, but for the weed farm - it's for the lights.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16- Hold on. We can use that for the weed farm.- Exactly, yeah.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18What time do they close?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20What time do they close, seven?
0:11:20 > 0:11:24- Five.- Sweet. Yeah, we'll get him on it.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Ah, mate, see - I knew there was a reason for us coming here.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34'Got UV lights.'
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Fuck's sake. Makes my life easier, anyway.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49I have been telling everyone,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52I've been saying that Aldona is coming back,
0:11:52 > 0:11:54you know, you'll see, you'll see.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57So, Aldona, you were at a funeral?
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Erm, yes.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02My, erm... My father.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03He is dead.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Very sad news, you know. Rest in peace, Daddy.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Great man, a great man.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17I never met him personally, but I imagine that he was a great man.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21The main thing is that she's back and she's here to stay.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Yes. I don't want anything. No money. Just you.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29OK! That can be arranged. That can be arranged.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33I must warn you, though, I haven't shaved or anything.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35If I knew that you were coming, I would've at least got the back,
0:12:35 > 0:12:38sack and crack tidied up a little bit.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41So, it might get a little bit jungley in there.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45She's back. The power couple are back.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Like Jay Z and Beyonce, she's brown as well, look at her.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51Look how brown she is, just show the camera. Look, brown.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55Jay Z, Beyonce, isn't it? Kanye West, Kim K.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- You are locked into the sounds... - ..of the legendary...
0:13:00 > 0:13:02..man like MC Grindah.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05And the one and only...DJ Beats.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Show them what time it is, Grinds.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10One, two, three-four-five, once I caught a fish alive.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- Then I came down with the garage vibe.- Rip it up!
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Nah, I can't get down with the garage vibe, I'm not lean enough.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I knew this would happen.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Sounded good to me, mate. Don't let your brain control you, innit.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22It's not just my brain.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25It's like my whole body's weak, I'm on meltdown mode.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30So, Grindah and Beats have found these little seeds.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Insert that, and just do that for all of them.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40- This is a Kurupt FM emergency broadcast.- It's a warning.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43If you are listening, yeah, we need some draw now, yeah?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46If you can get draw then call the phone line number.
0:13:46 > 0:13:52Yes. Any draw will do. Thai weed, hash, shit holiday draw.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56Literally anything. We will pay full price, top dollar.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57Stop. Why did you say that?
0:13:58 > 0:14:02I'm ready. Weed farm ready to go.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Time for someone to start doing shit round here, yeah?
0:14:05 > 0:14:06See you lot in a bit.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Come on, mate.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Wait! Wait there, wait.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Chill out.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Do I have to wait here?
0:14:26 > 0:14:31- Shall I come in now?- Come in. - Quick! Get in, get in!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33No-one's seen us. Chill out.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35No-one can know that you've been here, all right?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38I really don't want to lose this job before I've even got it.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Miche. We need this weed farm.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44You need this weed farm, all right?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Nothing's going to happen, no-one's going to know.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49If someone does find out, we'll just blame it on Steves,
0:14:49 > 0:14:51he can take the rap, all right?
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- I've got less to lose.- Exactly.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57All right, I'll show you where the sunbeds are.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59All right, go on, Steves.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01But you have to keep the lights off, OK?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Cos no-one can know you're here. - It's cool, I quite like the dark.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08I went blind off ketamine one time for, like, three hours,
0:15:08 > 0:15:11and I quite liked it, to be honest. It gave me time to think.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- Is he definitely going to be all right?- Yeah, probably.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Yeah, good shout. Locking it.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26TV BLARES IN POLISH
0:15:27 > 0:15:29CHABUDDY SIGHS
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Completely smooth down there now, completely smooth.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38It was a right bloody mess before!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Is it all right if I...?- Mm.- Yeah?
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Oh, yeah!
0:15:45 > 0:15:49What do you see in the future for you and Aldona?
0:15:49 > 0:15:53Oh, for the future, I see a lot of biracial kids, mate, yeah.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56A lot of beige little fuckers running around, you know?
0:15:56 > 0:15:59A lot of Chabulskas, Chabuddy-Bulskas,
0:15:59 > 0:16:02loads of Chabulskas, Ukip's nightmare, mate.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05I'm breeding it, mate, it's a beige future.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08With loads of little Polishstani little fuckers running around, mate.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Imagine, it's just going to be beetroot and curry everywhere,
0:16:11 > 0:16:13loads of builders and loads of corner shops, mate.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16That's the army I'm building.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20- Are they to film, or...- Oh.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22OK, guys, get the hint, I think it's time for you to go.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24We need some alone time.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28Come on, out you go, out you go.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Out you go, out you go.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Listen, guys, I think I'm pretty much guaranteed penetration here.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37So, if you want to...
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Hurry up, get out! Come on, go! Get out of here!
0:16:41 > 0:16:45So, more drink?
0:16:45 > 0:16:50Na zdrowie. Na zdrowie.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00I think Craig's up.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06- Hello, Craig, mate, how's it going? All right?- Yeah.
0:17:06 > 0:17:12- What you doing? Just playing a bit of computer and that, yeah?- Mm.
0:17:12 > 0:17:17Don't suppose any of your mates smoke bud, do they?
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I'm just trying to link it for a friend of mine.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24No, there's a weed drought at the moment.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27You know about the weed drought, yeah?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Do you blaze and that?
0:17:31 > 0:17:35You don't have a scud zoot or a little chip I could have?
0:17:35 > 0:17:37just to help me get to sleep?
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- I thought you said it was for your mate.- For my mate to get to sleep.
0:17:44 > 0:17:51You know what? Fuck it, man. It's for me.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53I've been blazing since I was 15 years young.
0:17:53 > 0:17:58Nonstop, everyday. So I feel a bit fucked, because of the drought.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03It's really good to have these chats with you, man.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05It's really good to open up to each other.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06You know?
0:18:08 > 0:18:12I'm going to shoot off to bed, I'll see you in the morning, yeah?
0:18:12 > 0:18:13Enjoy your game.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Fuck, how am I going to sleep?
0:18:22 > 0:18:24So, has Steves text you?
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Nah, I wouldn't bank on it, anyway, he's pretty shit with phones.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30He breaks them constantly, he's pretty clumsy.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Do you think that we shouldn't have locked him in, then?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- What if he wants to get out?- Nah.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36What if he's in there and he's freaking out
0:18:36 > 0:18:38and panicking and he's trying to ring you
0:18:38 > 0:18:42- but can't cos his phone's broke and then he's crying...- Allow all that.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44I'm too ill to be worrying about all this.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46I'm sure he'll be fine, worst case scenario
0:18:46 > 0:18:49he'll just smash his way out of the shop front window or whatever.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Yeah, I'm just a little bit worried about that happening.
0:18:52 > 0:18:58Oh, my days! Selecta! Decoy's uncle's come through with the food, cuz.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00That means weed in English.
0:19:00 > 0:19:06I'm meeting his uncles tomorrow, they're Jamaican! Sick!
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Yeah, so, do you think we should pop out and get Steves now, then?
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Nah, still let him do it,
0:19:11 > 0:19:14because it's planning for the future and all that.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17Man's making them Jamaican links out 'ere! You get me!
0:19:17 > 0:19:20SINGS IN JAMAICAN PATOIS
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Innit? Ah, mate.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24So shall we give Steves a call now?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26No, no, no, ringing Beats to make a reggae mix
0:19:26 > 0:19:28for the journey tomorrow, obviously.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31It might help if you kept the line clear, though, just so Steves can...
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Beats! It's Grindah.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Right, two words - reggae mix.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Yeah, no, make a reggae mix for tomorrow on CD.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42All right, see you later.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45That's the motherland, Jamaica, that's where everyone
0:19:45 > 0:19:47comes from, whether you're white or black.
0:19:47 > 0:19:53Because what happened was, this big stone banged into the world, yeah?
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Because the world was just one, like, bit of land.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57And there was just dinosaurs and that.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01And dinosaurs and that, and then it exploded and the dinosaurs
0:20:01 > 0:20:04and the land got separated, but originally the stone was Jamaica.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Hello? Hello?
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Is everything all right?
0:20:24 > 0:20:26You lot are pricks.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30Everywhere I go, just, "Oh, let's just lock Steves in,
0:20:30 > 0:20:34"he doesn't matter, he's just a little mug, lock him in."
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Sorry, Steves.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46Oh, no. I knew it.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49He's broken Angela's frame.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Oh, it's actually fine.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59"Oooh, I've done a course." Level 1 basic bitch.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01KNOCKING
0:21:04 > 0:21:09Oh, I must have fully passed out last night.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11It was a bit of a... Bit crazy.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Did you guys...
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Did you guys move the Merc?
0:21:21 > 0:21:22Where's the Merc?
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Did you guys see anything?
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Aldona? Aldona? Did you...
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Aldona? Aldona, did you...
0:21:42 > 0:21:48Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, I've been robbed!
0:21:48 > 0:21:51The computers, the printer.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Oh, my...!
0:21:53 > 0:21:54The foot spa!
0:21:56 > 0:21:59And they've taken Aldona!
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Move! Move!
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Aldona!
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Aldona!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16All right? Jamaica.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18The land of wood and water.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Can't bloody wait to meet your uncles, mate. Heard a lot about them.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28- Is it?- Are they the laid back type, or...?
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Yeah, they're all right with non-Rastas as well, right?
0:22:30 > 0:22:33What? Nah, man. You lot have got it twisted, man.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Shall I put on the reggae mix?
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Yeah, yeah, put the little reggae mix on. Get me in the frame of mind.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49MUSIC: Murderer by Barrington Levy
0:22:49 > 0:22:51THEY SING ALONG
0:22:56 > 0:22:59BASS BOOMS
0:23:07 > 0:23:13"I'm sorry. You deserve better. I will never bother you again.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15"Aldona."
0:23:20 > 0:23:22You know what? I'm starting to wonder
0:23:22 > 0:23:25if maybe she was the person who stole all of my stuff.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34Or maybe this is part of some sort of role-playing game,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36and maybe she actually wants me to hunt her down.
0:23:36 > 0:23:41She put a kiss at the end of the note, so maybe that...
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Nah, that's crazy.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48I think it's actually over for good now.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Is it all right if we leave it there?
0:23:57 > 0:23:58Yeah?
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Can someone get...
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Can someone get the door?
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Grindah! Can you get the...
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Hurry up, you freak. - Why's the child lock on?
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- It's this way, man.- Yep.- Yeah.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37- This way, innit?- Yep.- Yeah, yeah.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39- Quite a low-key operation, this. - Ssssh.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Obviously you lot are going to have to wait here, yeah?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Cos it's bare yardies and that, so...
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Man, they're not yardies.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Yardies, Rastas, whatever. Stop putting a label on everything.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- It's going to be sick.- Yeah. - Trust me, on the reload.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57Done low.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- Remember, it's "Selassie-I" when you enter.- All right.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Do you have to bow or anything?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09You can see, they already look a little bit healthier.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13That's just from less than a day.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Under the old UV. I got a little tan as well.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20See that?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23It's like just my arms have been on holiday.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Together.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28That was fucking shit! You said they were Rastas!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Nah, I didn't man. You just assumed that.
0:25:30 > 0:25:31Anyway, they're from my dad's side, man.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- You should have said they were white.- What does that matter?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36He wasn't even listening to reggae.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40He was listening to rock music, for fuck's sake. Isn't even close.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Main thing is we reloaded, though, innit?
0:25:46 > 0:25:47"Murderer" RESUMES
0:25:47 > 0:25:50No, turn that shit off. It's pointless now.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Have you ever been to Jamaica?
0:25:56 > 0:26:00- Not in person. - Not in person, but in soul.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01- In spirit.- In spirit.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05We bring that little bit of Jamaica to Brentford,
0:26:05 > 0:26:06do you know what I mean?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09So, in that form, to us, yeah, everywhere is Jamaica.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Do you know what I mean?
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Maybe we should get our own UV lights.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Save going round Miche's work.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19Nah, don't bother.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21The drought's over, mate.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Yeah, but what about preparing for the future? For next time?
0:26:26 > 0:26:30Nah. We'll be all right. We'll find some. We always do.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33I think we've been overthinking it a little bit too much
0:26:33 > 0:26:35this whole time, do you know what I mean?
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Just need to chill out. Smoke some of that.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41We'll never stop blazing, ever.
0:26:41 > 0:26:47- Ever.- Because even if the world was to end, flowers still grow.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Do you know what I'm saying, mate?
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Them ones there, like metaphors, you know what I mean?
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Like a rose from the concrete.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Sounds like something I'd come up with.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57I could chip in for this one, actually.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Still got my tenner from earlier that Chabuds paid me.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04It's all right.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09It's all dissolved into the sock.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17Is it all right to still blaze a little bit of it?
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Yeah, we'll save you a little bit at the end.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21We'll leave you the roaches.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Do you reckon they'd still accept it if it's like that?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25BOTH: Yeah, you'll be fine.