0:00:02 > 0:00:05- HE MC'S:- If I was Jesus, I'd be mixed with a lighter! - You're making your own toast?!
0:00:05 > 0:00:07It's easy. Just put butter and that on it.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- HE MC'S:- Mixed with a lighter, mixed with the venom of a what?
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Of a viper. It's MC Grindah.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14SHE MC'S BADLY: Na, na, na. If I was Jesus, I'd be mixing a lighter.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17It's mixed with a lighter, but that's still good.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- You seem chirpy today. - Yeah, very chirpy actually.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Let's just say, things are going to change around here.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25What, are you going to finish doing them curtains?
0:00:25 > 0:00:28The curtains are done, they're fine.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31I've stuck them up already, put some tape on it.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35- Go on then, what is it?- Well, I've got to get something sorted.
0:00:35 > 0:00:41But all I will say is it's something you've always dreamed of.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43See ya later, girls!
0:00:43 > 0:00:47Whaaat?! Has he said something to you?
0:00:47 > 0:00:49I'm not taking you to school until you tell me.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53This programme contains strong language
0:00:55 > 0:00:58So many thoughts in my head right now, it's just...
0:00:58 > 0:01:03My mind is just seeing images, you know?
0:01:03 > 0:01:06It's like I can see future and I see potential.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09- Shall we tell them?- Go on.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Basically, I can exclusively reveal that Chabsy has opened up his
0:01:13 > 0:01:18own nightclub and we are going to be having our very first club night.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22Called The Kurupt FM Champagne Steam Rooms.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- Grindah thought of the name. Fucking genius.- Yeah.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Just working on the flyers.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34If you go about promoting your night right, you're laughing, mate.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- Yeah.- Financially and physically.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39I mean, start off small, and then you know what I mean?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41You don't know where you'll end up.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44No. It's not small, it's going to be big, a massive, sold out event.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45Oh, has it sold out?
0:01:45 > 0:01:48It's not sold out yet, but it will be by the time this goes out.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49- Stop constantly...- Sorry.
0:01:53 > 0:01:58Easy, you man. So today's the first day of our promotion campaign.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- Dad? Hello?- Hold on one sec. Craig? I'm here, son.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03He's on the phone.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Your reception keeps cutting out, I can't even hear you.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Give me the phone, Craig! You are such a mess!
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Why are you dressed like a farmer?
0:02:10 > 0:02:13I'm sick of this, it's not you who has to deal with it now, is it?
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Oh, right.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Well, maybe next time just don't get his hopes up in the first place.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21You should see his little face, you should.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22It is little.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Sorry, love. He says he's got some work that he just can't turn down.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Sure he'll take you another time.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Maybe, um...
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- I could take him, if you want. - Take him fishing?- Yeah.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43I've been waiting to do this for so long, man.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Just me and you out in mother's nature, just roaming the land.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Do you know what I mean? Like two albino bears in the woods,
0:02:51 > 0:02:54just, like, making huts out of mud,
0:02:54 > 0:02:56and drinking our own piss.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Aren't you meant to be doing something today?
0:03:00 > 0:03:04Ah, fuck, yeah. Starting the promotions campaign.
0:03:04 > 0:03:09I could...put it on ice, I'll call Grindah, he'll understand.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12He knows how much you lot mean to me.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13- All right, Grindah!- How you doing?
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- What they saying? Are they good? - I hope you lot like it.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18Oh, my God!
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- Oh, my God!- Oh, shit!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22What's that in my hand?!
0:03:22 > 0:03:25I've actually added a bottle of champagne in there, by magic.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Mini champers on a plane! Classy!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29That's me there, at the bottom.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31My face is a little bit covered but still.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Chill out, mate, it's not all about you.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35OK, listen, boys. I was actually going to ask.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39Deeky, is it all right if you give me a hand setting up the club night?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- What have I got to do, though? - Just a bit of light building work.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Yeah, no worries, all good, he don't mind.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47And you boys are OK doing the promo side of things?
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Yeah, course. Trust me, me and Steves, yeah? We're on this ting.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Spreading the word like chlamydia. Do you know what I mean?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- We're the promo dream team. - Fuck Beats, innit?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Fuck Beats, fuck him.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00We're going to be all over Brentford today,
0:04:00 > 0:04:02everyone's going to know, Champagne Steam Rooms.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04- For fuck's sake.- Ah, come on.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06There's a hole in my bag.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09- Just hurry up, yeah?- Sorry.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Has anyone got any jaffa tape?
0:04:14 > 0:04:15There you go, son.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22About to hit the road for a bit of fishing.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I love fishing.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28There's no room in the boot cos of these fuckin' speakers.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30You definitely up for this, yeah?
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Yeah, 100%. Spoke to Grindah, he was a little bit fuming.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36But that's what it's about, innit?
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Sacrifice. And right now, I need to take my son fishing.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41I am not your son.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Step-son. And I'm his guardian.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47And right now he needs me to guard him.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01See ya later. See you fannies in a bit.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Pure Kuruption, 108.9
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I hope he was joking about drinking his own piss earlier.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11I wouldn't put it past him.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Ah, it's a bit of a mad morning for me really, Angela.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Really, what's been going on?
0:05:21 > 0:05:25It's Grindah, yeah? He was just sort of acting a bit weird this morning.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- Sort of suspicious. - What do you think it is?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29I literally don't even know.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32He basically just said it was something I'd always dreamed of.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- So...- What have you always dreamed of?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38I do want to get a hot tub but our bathroom is tiny,
0:05:38 > 0:05:40so we've just got a bath.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Oh, my God!
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Do you think that maybe he's going to propose to me?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Because we have been together for, like, six years now, so...
0:05:49 > 0:05:52That would be amazing! I hope it is that, Miche.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- What, do you think?! - What? Like, I don't know. Maybe.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57What's happening?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Basically, me and Angela think my boyfriend is about to propose!
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Well, I was just saying maybe.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Oh, my God! Congratulations!
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Aww, little Miche, getting engaged!
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- Thank you!- About time.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Oh, God, this is mad, innit?!
0:06:11 > 0:06:15Amazing! Oh, I love a wedding.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17No, I'm not annoyed at Beats.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Like, doing the promotion is something I'm probably
0:06:20 > 0:06:24more suited for with my natural charisma, do you know what I mean?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27If he wants to do stuff for his family, that's fair enough.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Plus I had a go at him earlier, so I've got it out of my system.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33I'll show you how it's done.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Hello, girl, do you want to come to a rave?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Excuse me, do you want to come to a Kurupt FM rave?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47No, I'm all right, thanks.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Not with me, I meant do you want to come to my rave?
0:06:50 > 0:06:51Kurupt FM rave.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- Hello.- Thank you.- Thank you.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59You into garage music? Is it?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Steves, mate! Steves, mate!
0:07:03 > 0:07:05No, I mean, everyone's welcome.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Steves, mate, come here.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08(What the fuck are you doing?)
0:07:08 > 0:07:10You said to give them to everyone.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Yeah, not EVERYONE! They're not even into garage.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Sorry. Er...you're actually barred.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Don't talk to people any more, all right?
0:07:21 > 0:07:25I'm going to go hit the shops up, so I can really connect with people.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- Yeah.- See you in a bit.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30That's what I mean, man. I've got my own club now,
0:07:30 > 0:07:32I'm basically Tony Soprano.
0:07:32 > 0:07:37Deeky, Deeky, Deeky, Deeky. Check this out.
0:07:40 > 0:07:41Deeky!
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Right, this is my super club.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48You know?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51My plan is to actually have the champagne cocktail bar here,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54I'm going to use real sand and inflatable palm trees.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56You know what I mean? So...
0:07:56 > 0:07:57So I made this flow chart.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00This is basically just a few ideas that I've got for the club.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02So you're going to build it out of this stuff here?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04You know me, man,
0:08:04 > 0:08:07never underestimate the power of spray-painting things gold.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11It triples the value instantly. Check this out.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16A bucket, it's a normal bucket, yeah? Now, wait.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Instant champagne bucket.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28- You still in London when you're in zone 6?- Yeah.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33You see this? The soil is actually fertile.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Which means that it's a good area for animals to eat.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39You can tell there's a lot of footprints around there,
0:08:39 > 0:08:41there's been a lot of activity.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Fertile mud.- Hurry up, man.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Oh, well done, you found the water source.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50See that?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54That's your water source right there.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Follow that upstream
0:08:56 > 0:09:00whenever in doubt to find the nearest settlement of locals
0:09:00 > 0:09:04that'll help you escape to your nearest helicopter evacuation point.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Let's go.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Do they have prawn in here, Craig?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Nature.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Could be anywhere in the world right now.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19You know what I mean?
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Thank you so much for helping me, man.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27It's tough doing stuff on your own, you know. Being alone.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29It's cool, man, don't worry about it.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Have you ever had your heart broken, Decoy?- What?
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Nah, not really.
0:09:38 > 0:09:43I mean, I never thought it would happen to me.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47In the beginning, me and Aldona...
0:09:47 > 0:09:51our sexual chemistry was just so intense, you know what I mean?
0:09:52 > 0:09:55We did some crazy stuff together, you know.
0:09:55 > 0:10:00She was never really into full sex but we used to do other stuff.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05really disgusting, really filthy stuff.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06Even confusing at times.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Shall we just get on with this?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Let's crack on, let's crack on, no worries.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17What you doing?
0:10:17 > 0:10:18Stop, stop, stop, stop.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Look, just grab it. Grab it.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Unhook this, put your finger on there.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Right, now keep it low as well, cos it's a small river,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31and then just, as you swing it round, release your finger
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- and then lock this thing back, OK? - OK.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38OK, so gently, bam! Release it, release it.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Then just relax it down there.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- You see that?- Stop.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Man's catching fish out here!
0:10:45 > 0:10:46Innit?
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Shall I splash the water to attract them?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51No, no, no, don't do that.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Ah, fucking hell, man.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Should have worn the high-tops, innit, Craig?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Fucked up my workouts.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04You're not supposed to splash anyway, it'll scare them off.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06How do you know so much about fish?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09You're like that little kid in Free Willy.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Do you think if Sea World hadn't trained Free Willy
0:11:15 > 0:11:19- to jump so high, he wouldn't have been able to escape?- What?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22I know. It's a proper headfuck, innit?
0:11:25 > 0:11:29Excuse me, excuse me, you dropped your flyer, mate.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33- Just dropped your flyer. - I don't want it, bruv.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Excuse me, mate, can I put these up in your window?- No.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41- Hello, mate, can I put this in your window for a rave?- No, sorry, mate.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43No, sorry.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47"No, sorry." Well, don't think you'll be let in on the night, yeah?
0:11:47 > 0:11:49I'll remember your face.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52- I'll just finish that off. - Excuse me, sorry.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Great.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59'I've been planning my wedding since the day I was born.'
0:11:59 > 0:12:02I just don't stop thinking about it, just like any girl does, you know?
0:12:02 > 0:12:05'And I think I just want something simple.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07'On a beach somewhere with, like, white sand.'
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Ideally I'd want some sort of white ponies involved
0:12:10 > 0:12:12cos I just think that's really beautiful,
0:12:12 > 0:12:15they're very graceful animals and they sort of represent love to me.
0:12:16 > 0:12:21Yeah, I'd probably go to the Bahamas and have a barefoot wedding
0:12:21 > 0:12:23on the beach or something like that.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26And go and stay in one of those well nice hotels,
0:12:26 > 0:12:29where they fold your towel into like a little swan. Or a monkey.
0:12:29 > 0:12:30That'd be amazing.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34- Well, your boyfriend will get there one day, so don't worry.- Thank you.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37KNOCKING
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Oh, my God. Everyone act natural. Do I look all right?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43You look really nice. Come here quick.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45He's waiting, go on, go.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Give us the broom, Cinderella!
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Ah, penny's dropped finally.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58- They've clocked on to who I am, yeah? It is me!- You all right?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Yeah, not really, to be honest. I'm having a bit of a mare today.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04But you know that thing I was talking about earlier?
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Are you going to say it here?
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- What?- The thing you were talking about earlier.- Yeah. So, basically...
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Oh, my God.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Kurupt FM are having their own club night.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- So is that the thing you were going to tell me earlier?- Yeah.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20You don't seem...
0:13:20 > 0:13:22That's my face.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I was just going to see if you could pop it in the shop window.
0:13:25 > 0:13:26- Yeah.- So everyone can see it.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28All the other shops are mugging me off recently.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30I'll probably need to check with my boss, innit?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- She'll be fine with it.- I should probably go back to work.- MC Grindah!
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Well, I'll see you later.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Yeah, yeah, cool. All right, sweet. See you in a bit, yeah?
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Go on, what did he say?
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Oh, no, nothing. He'll probably just do it tonight.
0:13:45 > 0:13:50Ah, wedding! I love a wedding. Do you love a wedding?
0:13:50 > 0:13:54- You look really good together. - Aw, thank you.- Like, really cute.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Ah, you're going to look amazing, Miche.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Let's just get...
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Got to get quicker with the tape mechanism.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Get one for the postman as well.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18If you post a flyer with a little bit of tape on it,
0:14:18 > 0:14:22then it'll actually stick to a letter and it'll go anywhere in the UK.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24You don't even know where it's going to go.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28You're basically flyering all over the UK.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30So did you put a lot of the flyers in postboxes?
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Yeah, I put most of the flyers in postboxes, yeah.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Might bill a little Buju Banton.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Don't tell your mum if I let you have some of this, yeah?
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Nah, course. Man-code, innit.- Exactly.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51'I do feel like his dad, yeah. Cos I'm schooling him about...'
0:14:51 > 0:14:54girls and life and that now. So, yeah, definitely.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Just give it a little tap down.
0:14:58 > 0:15:04'He's never called me Dad to my face, but I know in his heart
0:15:04 > 0:15:08'he wants to call me Dad - I can feel it, do you know what I mean?'
0:15:13 > 0:15:15I think we nailed, brother.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23Just imagine, this place is going to be infested with the high society,
0:15:23 > 0:15:28creme de la creme of Brentford's most beautiful women
0:15:28 > 0:15:31will be in here, spending their money.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34High flyers, just waiting for the right guy to come along.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- Am I right?- Yeah, man, cool.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Deeky, I bet you get a lot of chicks.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- You must be smashing it so hard. - Nah, not really, man.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Any spares you've got going, just send them my way, man.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Not a problem, brother.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Cos I reckon we're similar types, me and you.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Two peas in a pod, you know?
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Both obviously exotic, both got the lovely cocoa butter skin.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Obviously the voluptuous lips, you know?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58- Both bi.- Bi?!
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Er, like bi-racial. Mixed race. Cos I'm mixed race as well.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03I'm half Pakistani, half Indian, you know?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05THEY LAUGH
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- Is that funny?- Yeah.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Yeah, I guess I am pretty jokes.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Ah, man, this is great banter, Decoy, man.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15We should chill more often, man. What's your number?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- I'll give you a call. - I'm going to be off, man.- Cool, man.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26We've caught one fish in, like, time.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29I reckon if I wade, I'd just catch them.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34I'm stuck in quicksand. Oh, no, it's cool, it's cool. I got it.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40When sleeping in the wild, you want to be elevated off the ground.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Cos predators, you're an easy catch.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Especially if there's bears or mountain lions.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48So the best thing to do is to be propelled up.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53THEY WHISPER
0:16:55 > 0:16:58- All right, you lot, see you later! - Hold on, hold on!
0:16:59 > 0:17:02- ALL:- Yay!
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Just a little something from us to say good luck tonight.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Oh, wow, thank you. I mean, he might not even do it, so...
0:17:08 > 0:17:11We might have to think about taking you on a permanent contract.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Now you've got a wedding to save up for.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Your trial period is NEARLY up.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17That'd be amazing! Thank you, everyone!
0:17:17 > 0:17:18You must be so excited!
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Oh, my god, I can't wait to see the ring tomorrow.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- Yeah, I can't believe it. - You're just overwhelmed, aren't you?
0:17:23 > 0:17:29- Look at her little face, she's overwhelmed, look at her!- Yeah.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Ah, well, I want every detail tomorrow.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Yeah, girls? Want to know all about it.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38- Have a lovely evening, good luck!- Bye!
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Mm, start planning outfits! I love a wedding!
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Going to have buy a fascinator.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48She'll be made up, it's going to be such a great night for her.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Seleck seleck! Hype for the riddem it's a boom seleck!
0:17:50 > 0:17:54MC Grindah with the intellect, DJ Stevesy up on the deck.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55Deck.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Going to do the advert soon?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Are you lot ready for this bit, yeah? Trust me,
0:18:01 > 0:18:05radio adverts are like the pinnacle of why people go to raves, innit.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07You don't actually need to be flyering and all that bollocks,
0:18:07 > 0:18:09if they listen to this, they'll want to go.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Jamaican Dutch, yeah? Don't fuck it up.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13No, I've got it, I've got it.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17Kurupt FM proudly presents the Champagne Steam Room sessions!
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Playing the finest in old school garage and drum and bass sounds.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Tickets will be available on the door or via...
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Steves, that's not.... You need to be more Jamaican Dutch,
0:18:25 > 0:18:27just do it like Beats does it, like I said. Come on.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30SLIGHTLY ACCENTED: Tickets will be available on the door
0:18:30 > 0:18:32or via the worldwide internet cabin cafe!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35No, that's still... That's too Dutch if anything. You're not getting it.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37In arena one...
0:18:37 > 0:18:39There's no arenas! That's...
0:18:39 > 0:18:40It's one room.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42MOBILE BEEPS
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Is that someone who wants to go to the rave?
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Nah, just Chabuds wants Decoy's number.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Sort of good that we only got one fish, really.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Cos this is fucking long.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02You ever thrown a deodorant can in a fire before?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Yeah, course. Me and Grindah invented that shit.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08- Yeah?- Yeah. - Have you got any deodorant cans?
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Not on me, no.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13There you go.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Fry, little Nemo.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Look at that, chargrilled.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24Nice of your mum to pack this for us so we didn't go hungry and that.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Here you go, Craig.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41I can't do this, man.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46- I might go supermarche. Shall I go?- Yeah.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Yeah?- Absolutely.- Sick, man. There's one up the road.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- All right?- All right.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01When's Beats coming back? Cos his phone's off.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04He's probably just got shit reception where he is.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07I'm sure they're fine, but I'll let him know you were asking after him.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09All right, sweet. Not in a weird way or anything.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Just more... Obviously, like, cos of the promo thing,
0:20:12 > 0:20:15He might want to know what's going on, know what I mean?
0:20:15 > 0:20:19- It's his fault as well. - All right, well, I'll let him know.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Cool.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25It's just that I've been having a pretty rough time with it.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27- All right, see you later. - Yeah, see you later.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32I love watching you eat.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Got you a little present as well.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Here you go.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Happy days.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54- All right?- All right?
0:21:02 > 0:21:06- I've had the longest day, like. - Have you?- Yeah.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09What's this?
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Pro-sesh-e-o. Pro-sesh-e-ah-o.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17- Is that for the club night? For me?- Yeah.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19At least someone thinks about me.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Yeah. Cos it's called Champagne Steam Rooms,
0:21:21 > 0:21:24so I thought you would probably want some...
0:21:24 > 0:21:25- It is called...- ..Champagne.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30- Champagne! Ah, that's fucking clever as well.- Yeah.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- What's that as well? - Oh, that's just a garnish.
0:21:33 > 0:21:34Yeah. Stylish.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Thanks, Miche, sometimes it's just the little things,
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- you know what I mean, in life that keep you going.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:21:44 > 0:21:49- Right, you ready?- Yeah.- Let's do this.- Shall I throw it, yeah?- Yeah.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51It's going to blow, it's going to blow.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53BANG
0:21:53 > 0:21:57Oh, fucking hell! Sick, innit? Never gets old, that.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01- It's like a fire work but more fragrant.- Yeah.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Sick.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06Here you go.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Cheers, Dad.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Cheers, son.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26I fucking love fishing.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56Where do you think you're going? Come on, come on! Spill the beans!
0:22:56 > 0:23:02- Show it! Show it! Show it! - Oh, my God! It looks so nice!
0:23:02 > 0:23:04It's actually really thoughtful,
0:23:04 > 0:23:07it's literally the one I wanted, so...
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Tell us everything - how did he propose?
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Oh, how did he propose?
0:23:11 > 0:23:16Oh, God, well, basically, he sort of got down on one knee
0:23:16 > 0:23:21and then he just looked up and he said, "Will you marry me?"
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Aw, was it romantic?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26God, yeah, it was so romantic. Yeah.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30Cos everyone just started clapping.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Where were you?
0:23:31 > 0:23:34God, where were we? We were in a shop.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Ah, which shop? Which shop? Details!
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- Which shop, yeah. We were in Morrison's.- Aw!
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Yeah, that's where we do our weekly shop.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45So it just really meant something to us, so...
0:23:45 > 0:23:47We were in the tins aisle.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Aw, are you made up, Miche?
0:23:49 > 0:23:52- Yeah.- It looks gorgeous, look at your lovely dainty hands.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Wedding! I love a wedding!
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Right, we need to get you under the dryer, don't we, missus?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02- You all right with the bags, mate? - Yeah.- Yeah?
0:24:02 > 0:24:04HE KNOCKS
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Roche!
0:24:10 > 0:24:15Here they are. How was your night in the wilds?
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Also known as Uxbridge.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21Yeah, I've never been to zone 6 before, so it was an experience.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Trust me. There you go, son.
0:24:24 > 0:24:25'I see myself as a dad, yeah.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29'It's funny, innit, cos obviously he didn't come out of me.'
0:24:29 > 0:24:32I've actually more matured in my fashion sense as well,
0:24:32 > 0:24:34obviously you can tell with the fleece.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39I bought this when I moved in because this is a more mature look.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41So, it's what a dad would wear.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44I'm going more dad even fashion based these days.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Tell her what you caught, son.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Wasn't anything. Was just a tiddler, really.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Fishing weren't really that good around that part of the river.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54We still had a good laugh though, innit?
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Does Beats have his priorities straight?
0:24:56 > 0:24:58It's a bit irresponsible the way he's always like,
0:24:58 > 0:25:01"Oh, I got to do my family." Beats should just be on point,
0:25:01 > 0:25:04radio, radio, radio. That should be his life.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06One day, it's going to make him a millionaire off the back of me.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Do you know what I mean?
0:25:08 > 0:25:15Right, Kurupt FM Radio meeting, 24th of whatever the date is basically.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17- Me and Deeky, my brother! - Full house!
0:25:17 > 0:25:21Ah, Mr Beats, glad you can join us finally.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23What's happening, man?
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Nothing's happening, go and take your post.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Right, promotions obviously ain't been working, yeah?
0:25:29 > 0:25:33So we need another way of attacking people.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35I think I've got something actually.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Subliminal messages in the music.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41Not you, Steves. Just shut up.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42Quiet down, man.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47I was thinking more you, mate,
0:25:47 > 0:25:51as you've done nothing to the promotions so far.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Yeah.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57Basically if you want to promote yourself you've got to be out there.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59On the ground, like, handing out flyers,
0:25:59 > 0:26:01telling people what you're about.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05Showing them that you're a bad boy MC. Know what I mean?
0:26:05 > 0:26:08If you want people to love you, then put the effort in,
0:26:08 > 0:26:11don't just fuck about with your family all day.
0:26:12 > 0:26:19Champagne Steam Rooms! It's the sessions. 11th of April.
0:26:19 > 0:26:24Beats, mate! Beats, mate! Come on, hurry up, those people there!
0:26:24 > 0:26:27As many people as possible, mate.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29MC Grindah on the mic!
0:26:29 > 0:26:34HE MC'S
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Easy brother, hold tight the Brentford mandem!
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Can I get back in the whip?
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Let's spin it round one more time, then we'll go, all right?
0:26:43 > 0:26:49I've sold many things in my life. Perfume, weapons, peanut dust.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52'But the hardest thing to sell is humans.'
0:26:52 > 0:26:53Like being on the beach, innit.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55'Not like in a human trafficking way -
0:26:55 > 0:26:57'that's pretty easy with the right connections -'
0:26:57 > 0:27:00but, like, selling yourself. Self promotion.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03The boys are out there right now on the streets
0:27:03 > 0:27:05and they're selling themselves.
0:27:05 > 0:27:06And I'm proud of them.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10- Is that our rave? Yeah, it's our rave. You on it, yeah?- I'm on it!
0:27:10 > 0:27:12They fucking love it.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14The whole of Brentford loves it!
0:27:14 > 0:27:17They're just staring at me, they love it, everyone's looking at me.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Hold down the Brentford crew insane! I sees ya!
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Remember, remember, the 11th of April,
0:27:23 > 0:27:27it's the Champagne Steam Room sessions!
0:27:27 > 0:27:28It's going to be a slammer!