0:00:02 > 0:00:05- Beats, come on. Beats look lively, mate, look lively, come on.- Yep.
0:00:05 > 0:00:06Leave this alone.
0:00:06 > 0:00:07You've made a new track, then?
0:00:07 > 0:00:10Yeah, Grindah's been playing it, like, loads on Kurupt.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# MC Grindah...
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw
0:00:17 > 0:00:18# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# Leaving every MC down on the floor... #
0:00:22 > 0:00:25What you doing? Get up! You're meant to be standing.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27'The other night I literally played it for three hours straight,
0:00:27 > 0:00:31'so that anyone that locked in would literally just be brainwashed'
0:00:31 > 0:00:33into loving it, do you know what I mean?
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Yeah, I actually still feel a bit knackered from it.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37- So you performed it all live? - Yeah. Of course.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40- Yeah, we performed it all live. - Three hours live, back-to-back.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42# Beats and Grindah killed an MC
0:00:42 > 0:00:44# Someone take him to A&E
0:00:44 > 0:00:46# Perform some lyrical surgery... #
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Put that fucking joint down now.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50'Are you not worried people'll get bored of it?
0:00:50 > 0:00:52'People don't get bored with shit like that.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54'It's called a marketing strategy.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56'Basically just getting into people's heads,'
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- you know what I mean? Basic psychology.- Room 101.- Yeah.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03No, still the midpoint reload. Do it again.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08You don't see Van Damme sitting down.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15We're here for a very special meeting with Excel Records.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17- Let's just say we're getting a record deal today.- Yeah!
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Let's just say they finally realised that we are the future of new music.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- We don't even like new music. - Yeah, exactly.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27It is like the future of music that still sounds like it's in 2002.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28Like, it's complicated.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31It's sort of industry sort of shit, you wouldn't understand.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Yeah, you wouldn't get it.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- BUZZER RINGS - I can't believe we're here.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- 'Hello.'- Hi there. Chabuddy G here with the Kurupt FM boys.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42We're here to get a record deal.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44'Sorry, do you have a meeting with someone?'
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Erm, no, I haven't got a meeting, I've got...
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- I've got a delivery. - You said you had a meeting.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- We're in, just... - 'OK, give me a minute.'
0:01:52 > 0:01:53A trick, a little trick.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56'The first rule of the music industry'
0:01:56 > 0:01:59is that the music doesn't matter. It's about who you know.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02That's why it's very useful to have a manager like me.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04I mean, I don't know anyone,
0:02:04 > 0:02:07but they don't know that I don't know anyone,
0:02:07 > 0:02:09so they know that I don't know that they know.
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Smart.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Relax. Balls, balls.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18- Hi.- Hi.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Hi.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Do you have a delivery? - No, I don't have a delivery,
0:02:24 > 0:02:26but can we get a meeting?
0:02:28 > 0:02:29No, sorry.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33You fuckin'...
0:02:33 > 0:02:35It's all right. It's their loss.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37You said we had a meeting.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42We do have a meeting, it's just that this is a... This is a warm-up.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Come on. On to the next one!
0:02:59 > 0:03:01OK, I'm going to be making notes throughout the day,
0:03:01 > 0:03:03but otherwise just pretend like I'm not here.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- You all set, Miche?- Yeah, no, I'm just checking the...
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Good. They're all straight.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12'So basically to get the hairdressing qualification,
0:03:12 > 0:03:14'I need to do a test.'
0:03:14 > 0:03:17I have had a few tests in my life before.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20I tried to do my driving test - that didn't really go to plan.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22I'm not really into pressure.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24If I can relax a bit more, then I can get it done
0:03:24 > 0:03:26and not write off the car.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Good. They're all straight. - Don't be nervous, you'll be fine.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31No, I just, I want it to go really well today.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33It will go really well. You've got everything done.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Just try and... - HAIRDRYER WHIRS
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- OK, good, yeah, that's a good temperature.- Relax.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Yeah, I am.
0:03:43 > 0:03:44So, do you know anyone at this one?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Who don't I know, mate?
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Listen, listen, OK? These are top dogs.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52We need to basically just act important, yeah?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- And just head straight for the lifts.- OK.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57All right, keep it down, yeah? Keep it down.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- Come on.- There's no buzzer or anything.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Shh! We're going through. Come on.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Good morning. I'm here for work.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Top floor, top dogs.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19- Another day. - Just trying to act naturally.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Yeah, be natural. Just blend in, blend in.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27So would you say you are in it for money or glory?
0:04:27 > 0:04:30I'm in it for the passion, mate. That is why I do it.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34I'm in it to lyrically destroy anyone that listens to it,
0:04:34 > 0:04:36do you know what I mean?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39If money comes with that, then that's a bonus round, isn't it?
0:04:39 > 0:04:41And I'm just here for the ride.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Wherever it may take thee.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45I'd say I'm in it for the money.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50BEEPING Shut up, shut up.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Beating it up?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Intense, innit?
0:04:53 > 0:04:54OK, get in, get in, get in, get in.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Press the button. Get in.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Fucking hell, all the walls are made of windows.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01I don't even know what's wall any more.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03You have to get used to this, mate.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Atlantic! Atlantic.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- The lost city.- Yeah.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Is this him?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Hello. You must be Steves.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- Yes, I am.- Welcome to Lavender Hair And Beauty.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Hello, Miche.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Are you Miche? I don't know if you're Miche yet.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27So are you allowed to use friends in the test?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Yeah! I mean, it's not cheating.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32It's called, like, it's sourcing your own model.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33It's an industry thing.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37So... So it's definitely not cheating.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39But if Tanya finds out, then, yeah, I would fail.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- Thank you.- Great.- Nice to meet you.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Great. And if you'd just like to take a seat in our waiting area?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Sure.- Excellent.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Sorry if I stink of draw. I've got a queue in my bag.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I've got yours in here as well, actually.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Yeah, that's fine. We'll just...- OK.
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Sort it out later.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Cool.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01This is it.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- Look.- Excuse me, can I help you with anything?
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Hello. What's your position, role in the company?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Are you looking for anyone in particular or...?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Yeah, someone actually pretty important.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Erm... Matt... Marty, Martin.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23I forget his name.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Is it someone from the A&R team?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27That's it. A&R, that's his name.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30A&R, yeah. Tell him it's Chabuddy G, with a hard D.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Chabud-dy G.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33Also, Kurupt FM.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- So he'll know.- 108.9.- On your dial.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Hiya, Josh, have you got any appointments today?
0:06:40 > 0:06:44There's a group down here with a camera and everything.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Say Kurupt FM. Say Kurupt FM.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Yeah, no, I thought so.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51All right. Cheers, leave it with me.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52All right, bye.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Erm... Yeah. He'll be down in about five,
0:06:55 > 0:06:57so if I just pop you over to the waiting room.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59He's going to come down now?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Yeah, he'll be down in about five minutes.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Just wait over in the waiting room. I'll just show you.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07So, A&R is his surname? Shall I call him Mr A&R?
0:07:07 > 0:07:08It's the department he works for.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11He'll be down in a minute. Is there anything I can get you?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Tea or coffee?- Oh, no. You've been amazing. You've done enough.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16- All right.- You've outstayed your welcome, thank you.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Let's just say we won't forget about you once we get the...
0:07:19 > 0:07:21OK, you know where my desk is if you need anything.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23- All right.- Thanks very much for your help.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- It's a record deal.- Be cool. - We are getting a record deal.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35- Are you a real customer?- Yeah.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44So I went for Steves as my model just because he has a sort of
0:07:44 > 0:07:45a fashion model look about him.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48You know, sort of weirdly tall and thin, he's got the cheekbones.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Plus he was the only one that would do it.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52But I think with the right haircut,
0:07:52 > 0:07:54he could look a bit like a supermodel,
0:07:54 > 0:07:57like Kate Moss or Naomi Campbell.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Can I get you a drink?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Drink?
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Tea, coffee?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Did you have a drink?
0:08:04 > 0:08:05No, no drink, thank you.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Bruv, 14 years in the making, bruv.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15We're here. Oh, mate... Look at these awards.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18We'll probably get awards. But probably won't win them
0:08:18 > 0:08:20cos we're too underground for that.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Who wants awards anyway?
0:08:22 > 0:08:23Look at this. CLATTERING
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Maybe you should put that back up. Put it back, they might...
0:08:29 > 0:08:30- Just in case.- I think he's coming.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Play it cool. Play it cool.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Do you want to pop all your stuff up here
0:08:35 > 0:08:37and then just meet me at my chair?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- Lovely. And just your hat as well. - Oh, yeah, the hat as well.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58I don't really like getting my hair cut, to be honest.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02I find it really intense, staring at myself in the mirror for ages.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05I feel like the mirror version of myself
0:09:05 > 0:09:07is going to do something weird.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09I don't trust him.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Don't... Don't panic.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14And so what sort of thing are you looking for today?
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Is that...? Oh, she's there again.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22Erm... I would like a French crop, please.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- A French crop, brilliant. - French crop, please.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27- Work with the texture of... - Yeah, exactly,
0:09:27 > 0:09:34we'll work with this sort of dry and thick texture.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37There's a little bit in the middle where it's sort of matted together.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39I think it's the start of, like, a dreadlock
0:09:39 > 0:09:41but you can probably get it out.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45That's him. I think that's him.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46Is that him?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Act normal and laid-back. Like you don't give a shit.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- They love that.- Hi, I'm Josh. - Hello, mate.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Part of the A&R team.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56- Hi, Josh.- Chabuddy G, manager of Kurupt FM.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59I'm Kurupt FM CEO, MC Grindah.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Yes.- No, I recognise you guys.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Oh, penny's dropped.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07People Who Do Nothing?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- That's us!- So you're serious.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11You guys want to make music now?
0:10:11 > 0:10:12- Yeah.- Are we serious?
0:10:12 > 0:10:14I'll let you be the judge of that, mate.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Yeah, we're serious. - Let him be the judge of it!
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Right, if you...
0:10:19 > 0:10:23- Shall we have a meeting?- Yeah, come this way.- Are we having a meeting?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Yes.- So is this your office?
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Yeah, it is. Let's keep it down. There's a lot of people working.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31HE MOANS GENTLY
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Sorry. Is this all right? Cos you're Grindah's girl.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39It's fine. I'm just going to get you to sit back and relax
0:10:39 > 0:10:41and maybe just not talk for a bit.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Where's the armholes?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45There aren't any armholes, so we're just going to, just...
0:10:45 > 0:10:47I don't want the shampoo in my eyes.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49I won't let it get in your eyes, it's fine.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53- I'm keeping it back.- The government put chemicals in shampoo.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54To keep us blind.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58'Being a hairdresser is about more than just cutting hair.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00'You've got to be a people person, you know?'
0:11:00 > 0:11:02So a lot of the customers you might think, "Who is that?
0:11:02 > 0:11:05"Why are they here? They're disgusting."
0:11:05 > 0:11:08You've got to be able to get on with people from all walks of life.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Even the ones who can't walk.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11We've got a ramp, so...
0:11:13 > 0:11:14What shampoo have you got, actually?
0:11:14 > 0:11:17- What are you using? - Shall I read the label out to you?
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Read out the back. If it's government approved
0:11:20 > 0:11:22then we need to start questioning it.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24"Warning, avoid contact with eyes."
0:11:24 > 0:11:27See, this is it, this is exactly what I mean.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29# MC Grindah, I'm a raver
0:11:29 > 0:11:30# When I'm at the mic, we add a flavour
0:11:30 > 0:11:32# When I blaze in the haze up in the paper
0:11:32 > 0:11:33# Holding the mic like a lightsaber
0:11:33 > 0:11:36# And I'm lyrically knocking out Darth Vader... #
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Thank you.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43What that was, Josh, that was one of my earlier compositions.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45I think what I was trying to say with that
0:11:45 > 0:11:47was that the mic is my weapon
0:11:47 > 0:11:49and I am all-round better than Darth Vader.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52That's... Well, it's powerful, it's great.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Thank you very much for letting me hear it.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57We've got that ghost box...
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Oh, mate, your water's off.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00That's fizzy water.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01Fizzy water?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03You lot have got more money than sense.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08Time is money. You're a busy man, I'm a busy man, yeah?
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Money talks, bullshit walks.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Let's do some talking, baby, yeah?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Get ready for the Kurupt FM world exclusivity contract.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16Get your fucking pen ready, mate,
0:12:16 > 0:12:19because you are going to want to sign the shit out of us
0:12:19 > 0:12:20once you've heard this.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- There you go, mate.- Play it.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23TRACK PLAYS
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Eye contact, Josh, eye contact.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28It might sound a bit tinny cos it's off the phone.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30This will be available on all formats as well,
0:12:30 > 0:12:33so CD, MiniDisc, MP3, MP4, MP5...
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- What about MP6? - Yeah, we can do that.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39ON PHONE: # MC Grindah...
0:12:39 > 0:12:41# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw
0:12:41 > 0:12:42# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw
0:12:42 > 0:12:44# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw... #
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Leaving every MC dead, like, in their own blood.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49These guys are a phenomenon.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51They need to be promoted, you know what I mean?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53So who better to...? I can sell the shit out of anything, mate.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55I have the gab of the gift.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59So I can just literally talk my way out of a bloody cardboard box, mate.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- No, he's not getting it.- Guys, I've got it.- You need to hear the bass.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- I've got it.- You need the whole experience.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05- I've got headphones.- Honestly...
0:13:05 > 0:13:07You haven't had the whole experience!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- You haven't had the whole experience, mate.- Thank you.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Please, give it a go with the headphones!
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Just put it in there. Hold him down. Put it in his ear.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Thank you so much.- Josh, you haven't heard it with headphones.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- Talk to my solicitor.- You haven't heard it with the headphones yet!
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- You're a talented bunch.- Josh, please.- I don't need the headphones.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Please.- Thank you. Security, can we sort this out?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30We're not going to stay, mate. Freaks.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Yeah? Fucking keep looking, mate.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Lucky the cameras are rolling or I might have to ...
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Not even fucking listening. Great.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Why don't we sell direct to the record shops
0:13:49 > 0:13:51like Wiley and that used to do back in the day?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Let's just do that.- Let's go.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- What, now? You going now? - What do you mean?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- Of course.- I've got to go to dad classes with Roche.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59If I'm late, she's going to switch.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Oh, great.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Have you been more bossy since you got pregnant?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04No, I have not been more bossy, have I?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Yes.- No.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08- Let's just go. Come on.- All right, you lot.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10See you in a bit, yeah.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Does it cause friction?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13What, arguments?
0:14:14 > 0:14:16If he pushes too far, yeah.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Especially with the hormones now.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20I didn't really know what hormones were,
0:14:20 > 0:14:24but they are basically just these tiny balls of anger
0:14:24 > 0:14:25that live inside women.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Brilliant. You're doing really well. If you want to just...
0:14:31 > 0:14:33- Keep facing...- Keep facing forward, yeah, that's it.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- And then...- It's looking good.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Thank you.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Sorry, I saw here in the reflection
0:14:39 > 0:14:41so I thought I'd check if she's there.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44OK, well, let's do a little bit with the clippers.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Are these all doing tests as well?
0:14:46 > 0:14:50No, they're already professional hairdressers.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- So what have we gone for?- I usually work with darker hair than this,
0:14:58 > 0:15:00this is a lot lighter than it would normally be,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02so that is why it looks a little bit mad at the moment.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Just relax, take your time, work with the texture of the hair.
0:15:06 > 0:15:07- And you will be fine.- Great, OK.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Thank you, Tanya. Let's just...
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- It is going really well.- Oh, my God.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18I just love cutting hair!
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Do you reckon it is going to be much longer?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26I've got to link with Alfie Danger in a bit.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I just need a couple more minutes.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Nearly done.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- We're selling some of these bad boys.- Yeah, exactly.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Let me do the talking, yeah? You know who we are in there.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Hello, boss, how are you doing? All right, yeah? Good, good.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51Hello, mate. Chabuddy G, manager of Kurupt FM.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54- Corrupt...?- Kurupt FM. You know who we are.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Stop showing off in front of the camera.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Let me ask you a question, mate.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- How's business?- It is all right.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- What if I told you you could double that?- Double what?
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Just double it.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12The key to being a good salesman is knowing how to sell your product.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15OK, for example, how much would you give me for this watch?
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Oh, fuck.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20It's got a dodgy strap, it must have fallen off.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21OK, I'll tell you what,
0:16:21 > 0:16:25let me look for the watch and then ask the question again, OK?
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- So you remember Get Out Of The Way? - No.- Yes, you do. Good.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30This is the follow-up single from that.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32- Right.- All right? Play the tune.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34TRACK PLAYS
0:16:37 > 0:16:41- Of course, that's the heart monitor. It's a theme song.- All right.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43TALKING ALONG: This direction...
0:16:43 > 0:16:44I think it might be MC Grindah...
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Who?!
0:16:47 > 0:16:50# MC Grindah...
0:16:50 > 0:16:52# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw
0:16:52 > 0:16:54# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw
0:16:54 > 0:16:56# Bang! Lyrical blow to the jaw
0:16:56 > 0:16:58# Leaving every MC down on the floor... #
0:17:01 > 0:17:03PHONE RINGS
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Roche? Yeah, I'm at dad classes. Where are you?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09I can't go in on my own, it's a bit weird.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Do you feel more mature, then?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13'Do I feel more mature?'
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Look what I'm dropping these days.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17I mean, check out the chinos.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Just hurry up, yeah? Bye.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22When you walk into a place with chinos on,
0:17:22 > 0:17:23they know you're a real man.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26Fuck's sake.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29# What you gonna say now, what you gonna do
0:17:29 > 0:17:32# When Beats and Grindah are coming for you? #
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Do you like it?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Er...
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Keep listening.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39# Beats and Grindah up on the track
0:17:39 > 0:17:41# Guess you could call that double impact
0:17:41 > 0:17:43# Why are we so lyrically thick?
0:17:43 > 0:17:45# Cos we were training, punching a tree for a week... #
0:17:45 > 0:17:46REWIND EFFECT
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Is that a rewind in the song?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Exactly. It's the midpoint reload.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- And it goes back to the start? - Spot on, he has heard of it, yeah.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57The midpoint reload is really going to change
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- people's enjoyment of music. - Exactly.- OK.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- In a good way.- Right.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03I'm just not sure they'll sell.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06All right, let me stop you there, mate. I am sure they'll sell.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08So who are you going to listen to?
0:18:08 > 0:18:10You - "Oh, I'm not really sure, I'm insecure,"
0:18:10 > 0:18:12or me that knows exactly what I'm talking about.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14I don't think it's going to happen.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17All right, good, because maybe you're not going to happen, then.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19What's that mean?
0:18:19 > 0:18:20Exactly, what's that mean?
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- Don't.- With your tiny little shop.
0:18:24 > 0:18:25- Freak.- Sorry about that.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Yeah? How about that?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29FAINT CLATTER
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Have fun cleaning that up.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I told you I was going to do the talking.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36- Just a little bit of business. - That's why you fucked it up.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39- I thought you knew him, you said... - I did know him. He was showing off.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56- Are you waiting for someone?- Yeah.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Come in and wait, that's fine.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Roche thought it would be a good idea actually
0:19:01 > 0:19:02if we went on a parenting course.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04It was when he asked whether babies
0:19:04 > 0:19:06ever come out of the arsehole by accident.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Well, that's a simple mistake to make, mate -
0:19:08 > 0:19:10they are very close to each other.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11Yeah, I've heard that before.
0:19:13 > 0:19:19Hi. Tina, 25 weeks and we're having a boy, little Tyler.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Oh, named him already. Congratulations.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24I'm Darren. Obviously, I'm not pregnant
0:19:24 > 0:19:27but, erm, was involved in the process!
0:19:27 > 0:19:29- Hello, I'm Jack.- Hello, Jack.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Hello, I'm Laura. I'm 23 weeks
0:19:31 > 0:19:35- and we've actually decided to keep it a surprise.- Good for you.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Lots of people do. Not everyone wants everyone to know,
0:19:37 > 0:19:40- so there we go. - Hello. Erm...
0:19:41 > 0:19:47My name is Kevin Bates, AKA Beats, AKA the Albino Seal.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48- Right.- And, erm...
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- This is a picture of my partner, Roche.- Right.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56She's not here yet cos she had an emergency at work.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58- Ah, so she's joining?- Yes.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- She's coming.- That's all right, man,
0:20:00 > 0:20:02you can have a go on mine if she doesn't turn up.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- Love that. What's your name, mate? - Darren. This is Tina.- Hello, Tina.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Don't worry, I don't want to have a go on you.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I mean, I would, if... And you weren't...
0:20:11 > 0:20:13I'm afraid we're going to have to start now.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18- How are we getting on? - Yeah, we're nearly done,
0:20:18 > 0:20:21aren't we, Steves? Finishing touches.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- Sorry.- It's good that you're so comfortable.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25I get weird about haircuts.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27I did a load of Valium earlier.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28- Just to calm me down.- Ah...
0:20:30 > 0:20:31- Why not, eh?- Yeah.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Just get him finished up and out.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- OK.- Yeah?- OK.- Cool.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38OK.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43It's always better with a bit of gel, innit? I'm just going to...
0:20:45 > 0:20:48This is where you'll really see a transformation.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Wow.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57OK, so, would you like to just hold your baby
0:20:57 > 0:21:00how you think a baby would be held?
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Just support the neck, Kevin.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Doing a lovely job there.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12- All right? Sorry I'm late.- Oh, hello. Oh, you must be...
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- Hello there.- My dad used to do that.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Wahey!
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Kevin, we are treating these dolls like babies.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20Yeah, I know, but they're not.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23- INTERVIEWER:- Do you have high expectations for Beats
0:21:23 > 0:21:25at birth time?
0:21:25 > 0:21:28I have high expectations of Kevin
0:21:28 > 0:21:32but I also am aware of what Kevin will be able to do.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35So, in the sense that I have high expectations
0:21:35 > 0:21:38of what I would like him to do but I've very low expectations
0:21:38 > 0:21:41of what I actually expect him to do.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43But babies, do they like sort of jokes and that?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46You know, like, not proper jokes but joke stuff?
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Babies like to laugh, of course, like everybody.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50They've the same emotions as us.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Brilliant. Wow.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I like how you did a little space in between each strand.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Do you like that? That's my own little technique actually, so...
0:21:59 > 0:22:02- Yeah.- Can I ask you if I can get a picture of the hair?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Just to put on my gallery.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Perfect. - Model shot.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- Modelling.- OK.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09Smile.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Great. OK. Perfect.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14So I think we're all done now.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Here, take that off, yeah.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Great. I love it.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22VIP treatment.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25All right. Do you want me to give you this thing now or...?
0:22:25 > 0:22:27- No, no. Not here.- Bit bait?- Yeah.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29- All right.- OK. Wow.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32God. You look like a footballer or something.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Yeah?- Proper... Proper celebrity look.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- Wow.- Better with a hat on, though, innit?
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Look like a crack-head without the hat.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- All right. See you later. - Bye.- Thank you.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46Bye.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48Bye.
0:22:49 > 0:22:50Oh, wow.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55He's put the hat straight on. What's he doing?
0:22:58 > 0:23:01He smelt of drugs. He smelt of drugs.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08It just seems pointless. You can't sell things on the internet.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- How do you get the money? - Mate, trust me, OK?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Everyone's doing it right now, OK?
0:23:12 > 0:23:14People don't want to go to the shop to buy music.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16People don't want to go to labels, mate.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18It's all about downloading, yeah?
0:23:18 > 0:23:19The internet.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Nah, cos I still reckon the internet
0:23:21 > 0:23:22is going to blow over any day.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24No, mate. Trust me, OK?
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Think about it. Right now we live in the now generation.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- Yeah?- Yeah. - People want everything NOW.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31- OK?- Yeah.- Instant coffee.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Fast food. Fast internet.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34- Yeah.- Even fast sex.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Three minutes max. You know what I mean?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Get it in. Stick it back out. Clean yourself up. Get the hell out.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40- You know what I mean? - I don't even know
0:23:40 > 0:23:42what you're talking about any more.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45You started off and then always just go back down to sex.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Yes. Sorry. I'm just...
0:23:48 > 0:23:50very sexually frustrated at the moment.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Yeah. That's...
0:23:58 > 0:23:59You did great today, Miche.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- Thank you.- Looks like we've got a natural hairdresser in our midst.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Oh, thanks.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07You did well actually cos he was a bit of a tricky customer.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09He was off his face actually.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Druggie eyes. I knew that.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Yeah. Well, you know what they say.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15You've got to handle people from all walks of life
0:24:15 > 0:24:16as a hairdresser, so...
0:24:16 > 0:24:18I was just doing my job really.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19That is very true.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Well, next time you come in, Mrs Beaumont,
0:24:23 > 0:24:25it might be our Miche here cutting your hair.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Oh, my God. I mean, I would love that.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28I've never cut long hair before
0:24:28 > 0:24:32so it would be really a dream come true.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36Have you ever thought of going a bit shorter?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38So, what I want you to do is open your nappies.
0:24:38 > 0:24:43And I want you to tell me whether you think you've got a healthy nappy
0:24:43 > 0:24:45or an unhealthy nappy.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Eurgh. That is mental.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- Is that real?- No, it's not real. Calm down.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52- 'Scuse me?- Yes?
0:24:52 > 0:24:54- Is that real? - No, Kevin, it's not real.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57It's just for the purposes of the exercise.
0:24:57 > 0:25:02- Cool.- So when a baby's first born their faeces are very dark...
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Yeah. It's mustard.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Sorry, does that mean that it's unhealthy?
0:25:08 > 0:25:10What do you think, Kevin?
0:25:10 > 0:25:13I think it would be a bit painful to shit out pure mustard.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15That's Darren. That's Darren.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17It's just mustard for the purposes of the exercise.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- What did you get? - Peanut butter, man.- Peanut butter?
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Yeah, seriously, you could spread that shit on some toast.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26It's just representative. This is just representing poos...
0:25:26 > 0:25:28I've had shits like peanut butter before. Eurgh!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Can we settle please so we can learn?
0:25:30 > 0:25:32- Can we settle so we can learn? - Disgusting.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34And there we go.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38It's official. Our records are now available to purchase
0:25:38 > 0:25:42- exclusively online.- Oh, mate.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45That's embarrassing. I've now been officially signed to eBay, mate.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49I am now the CEO of Kurupt FM Worldwide.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- Oh!- Trust me.- Baby.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55# Celebrate good times. #
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Come on!
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Whack it in there.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- Big ups, brother. - Big ups.- To Kurupt FM Worldwide.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03To Kurupt FM Worldwide.
0:26:03 > 0:26:08- Shall we say pick-up only?- Yeah. - Make sure they come to Brentford.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10In five years' time, where do you see yourselves?
0:26:10 > 0:26:13I'll probably be... I'll probably move to a nice part of Hounslow.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15I'll probably get a double Portakabin.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17So, a double-decker Portakabin.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19We're going to have a castle in Jamaica/clubhouse.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22That's one of my plans. Come down on holiday to Jamaica.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Yeah. I'll visit these boys in Jamaica.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- I'll still be micromanaging them. - Yeah.- From my office in Hounslow.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29I'll tell you what, actually. Look.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31You've signed this one, so it's a limited edition.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33So we could probably charge more for that.
0:26:33 > 0:26:34Love that. Whack it on for a grand.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Really, what? A grand?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Two grand actually - you're right.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41I think any more than that might limit sales.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Oh. That's lovely, that is.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47So there are three basic stages to labour.
0:26:47 > 0:26:48You've got the dilation.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50And this is when you'll probably notice
0:26:50 > 0:26:52some discharge from your vagina.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Basically, the mucus plug that's been keeping infection
0:26:55 > 0:26:57from going into your womb and affecting your baby,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59this is when it passes out.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- All the membrane... - Is that only if it goes wrong?
0:27:01 > 0:27:03No. This is if it all goes well.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05We haven't even got to the bad stuff yet.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Look at that.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21That's mad. Our single is literally worth more than anyone's on there.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23What does that tell you?
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Tells you I'm better than them. That's what that tells you.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27Look at that.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30What these boys done is incredible.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32- Our own label.- Trust me.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Kurupt FM will always be ground-breaking.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39Yeah? Like we'll just hit the ground running and break it.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41- Yeah.- Free champagne.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43It's all part of the music life.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45We'll take it out of the first pay cheque.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48- Well, it wasn't signed off.- It was signed off at management level.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Overruled by CEO.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52We don't need some mucky label telling us what to do.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- Giving us bare money.- Yeah.
0:27:54 > 0:27:55Cos no amount would be enough.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Do you know what I mean? You can't put a price on what we're worth.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01- Exactly. We're worthless.- Exactly.