0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Guess how many sleeps it is until the wedding.- One day?
0:00:04 > 0:00:06120, close.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09What?
0:00:09 > 0:00:10Why is all that...?
0:00:10 > 0:00:14- Why is everything written in foreign? Have you been shopping at the fake supermarket?- Yeah.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Because, you know, we need to save a little bit of money for the wedding fund.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21- They still taste the same, don't they?- Sort of.
0:00:21 > 0:00:22Cocoa Krisps?!
0:00:22 > 0:00:26These are fake Coco Pops. It hasn't even got a monkey on the front.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29It's like the cereal version of two-stripe tracksuit bottoms.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33You know I wouldn't be seen dead in them.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Great, it didn't even turn the milk chocolaty.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42So, has Grindah contributed much to the wedding fund?
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Er...
0:00:44 > 0:00:46He hasn't put loads towards it yet,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48but he did contribute the jar itself.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51And that's obviously a massive help.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53It's actually his old weed jar,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56but I've just written "wedding fund" on it.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59So, now it looks like a completely different jar.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01There's a few bits at the bottom still...
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Oh... I forgot about that.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Another letter from Her Royal Majesty.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Funny how a moment of madness can change your life forever, isn't it?
0:01:20 > 0:01:22What's the letter?
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Er, just...
0:01:23 > 0:01:26- I can't really talk about it at the moment, mate.- OK.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30But what I will say is it's just another
0:01:30 > 0:01:32bit of trouble with the law again, do you know what I mean?
0:01:32 > 0:01:35But they can't hold me down.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Court case pending.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Basically, he got caught dropping a cigarette
0:01:40 > 0:01:43and then he refused to pay the fine, so...
0:01:44 > 0:01:46I mean, what do they expect people to do?
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Walk around with their own ashtrays, or something?
0:01:49 > 0:01:52It's political correctness gone mad.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56# Nah, nah, nah, nah
0:01:56 > 0:01:58# Hey, hey, hey, hey...
0:01:58 > 0:02:00# There's my nan. #
0:02:00 > 0:02:02- There he is. There he is. - There she is.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05- Mwah!- Are you all right, love? - Yes.- Yes.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Thank you for coming. I didn't expect you.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- Sorry, man. Squeeze on there. - Make yourself comfortable.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12- Did you get your prescription through today?- Yes, thank you.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Oh, that's good, isn't it?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18That reminds me.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19I won't keep you a moment.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Talk amongst yourselves.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Prescription day. It's really exciting.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31DIY.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Every champion needs his belt.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39And I am DIY champion of the world.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I'm definitely a handyman. You know, I'm the guy you call.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46I'm the handy guy. Handy Peters.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Oh! Breathe in. I did everything myself.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53I came here, built an empire by myself. Yeah?
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Built the perfect home for myself.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Built the perfect wife for myself.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Till she... You know what happened.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00But I'm a very DIY guy.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17It's impossible.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21There's too many pieces. It should just come already done, innit?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Hiya, Steve.- All right, Nan.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Is that enough?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Yeah, that's perfect.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Oh, amazing.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32You're planning a big do, are you?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34No. It's just a DJ set.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38But it's an eight-hour one, so it's quite a big deal for me.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Ah.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43I would say drugs can definitely help you to be more creative.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Because look at some of the best music ever made
0:03:46 > 0:03:49is made by people that are just off their nut on drugs.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Would you say drugs have helped your music career?
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for the drugs.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57I'll say that much.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Make sure you give your old nan a good shout out.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Obviously. Shout out to my nan at each and every.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Shout out to the jigsaw crew.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Yes, yes.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Shout out to the old...colostomy bag.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Yes.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Hi.- Roche, how are you doing? You all right?
0:04:16 > 0:04:17I'm all right, how are you?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- Ready to get busy. - OK, nothing structural.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22There he is!
0:04:22 > 0:04:24- DIY.- Yes.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Just be sensible. Yeah.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- Yeah, don't worry, don't worry. - Sensible.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Nothing massive.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31That's what she said.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- That is what she said.- OK, OK.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Yeah, I actually promised Roche that I would get the baby's room ready in time for the birth.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42It's actually called nesting.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Yeah, it's what birds do.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46But obviously without using twigs, or spit.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Just throw it, just throw it. It's fine.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51So you got Chabuddy in to help you with the baby's room.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Yeah, I mean, Chabuddy is one of those guys who can do anything.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57And I thought, you know,
0:04:57 > 0:05:00like he's cheaper than getting in a proper painter.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03On this wall, right,
0:05:03 > 0:05:06I was thinking maybe we could have a memorial with like
0:05:06 > 0:05:08loads of cartoon characters in.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09Because kids love that, innit?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12They do love... Yeah, I can do that, no problem.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15I have all the classics. I have the Mickey Mouse, the Goofy ducks.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- I can do that for you, no problem. - Brilliant, brilliant.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Craig! Do you want to come in and help your old man?
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Craig? Craig?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25So, you're going to have a sister.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Are you good with girlie things?
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- Obviously not. - He used fake tan once.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Yeah.- That was just an error.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36I once showered as well with Roche's thing called Jolene.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38I lost all my body hair.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- I'm a bit worried about Craig, actually.- Yeah.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Apparently when you have a new kid, right,
0:05:45 > 0:05:48sometimes the older kid feels a bit left out.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Yeah, I've heard about that.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Do you know what you need to do?
0:05:51 > 0:05:55You need to get a piece of clothing a piece of cloth from the baby.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59- Yeah, OK.- And put the cloth directly underneath Craig's nose when he's sleeping.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02That way, subconsciously he will not feel threatened by the baby child.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04You know?
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Yeah, I think that's dogs.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- Actually, that is dogs. - Yeah.- Yeah, that's dogs.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14BACKGROUND MUSIC
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Yeah, that's probably enough cos you've got gel on there, as well.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Just going to give him some of this extra firm hold so that...
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Yeah, not too much.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29I think you've probably got quite a lot of product on that.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Oh, Miche I got the details of that make-up artist
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- we used for my wedding. - Oh, amazing, thank you.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38I don't know what our budget is yet because Grindah's got his court case
0:06:38 > 0:06:39- tomorrow.- He still hasn't paid that fine?
0:06:39 > 0:06:41That's mental.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43I know. I'm worried it's going to go up loads.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46I read about this woman who disputed a parking fine.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48She ended up having to pay loads more.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50She had to sell her car.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Oh, we'll be fine then because we haven't got a car, so...
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I think it looks amazing.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Just do that. It creates a nice swoosh effect.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Just be one with the paint.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- Nice. - Really get into it, you know.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11KNOCKING AT DOOR
0:07:11 > 0:07:14No, it's all right. The pregnant lady will get it(!)
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- Oh, hello, are you here to help as well, are you?- No.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20No. What are you here for then?
0:07:20 > 0:07:23What am I here for? Beats wants me in my last hour.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Oh, that's right. Sent down for a cigarette.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- Yeah, I could be, so... - I know.- Yeah.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- It will be awful. - Yeah, you will be awful.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34How are boys doing? You all right, yeah?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36- Yeah, so... - Easy, boys.- Grindah.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Grindah.- Yes.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40- Thanks for coming, man.- Yeah, man. - No worries.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- Thanks for helping out. - No, no, no, no, no.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45None of that. I got court tomorrow, so I can't get any paint on me.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46- Big day, isn't it?- Of course.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55I've never noticed that tree before.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59Funny the things you notice when your freedom's at stake, innit?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Is jail tough?
0:08:01 > 0:08:05Depends who you are, mate. Not for me, do you know what I mean?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Like, fucking, jail's jail. You know what I mean?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10You do your thing. You ride it and you duck out, like.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Have you packed your jail bag yet?
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Good point. Yeah, make sure I've got the old jail essentials.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- Yeah.- Apart from the contraband shit of course.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Because there's other ways of getting that in there.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Grindah said he went to the hardest prison in England.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26- Yeah.- Yeah, that's why he got bullied.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27I didn't get bullied.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29They had to move me to protect the others.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Yeah, they said he was on a wing with all the sort of snitches and paedos.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- Not bullied, but...- Why are you constantly saying that?
0:08:34 > 0:08:37MUSIC PLAYS
0:08:37 > 0:08:38- Crew, locked in, yeah?- Yes.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Heston, massive, Isleworth crew, were you there?
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Saint, Saint.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Just a reminder of a change of schedule tomorrow.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47We're going to be down at court,
0:08:47 > 0:08:50so DJ Steve will be doing an eight-hour marathon set.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52- Trust me.- Make sure you lock in for that one.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56We'll be leaving you in the capable hands of Stevie.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Innit, Steves. Tomorrow, the set.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- Yeah.- Yeah.- Definitely.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Good to go.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- Grindah?- Yeah.- I got that, so...
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Oh, planned and everything?
0:09:07 > 0:09:08- Yeah.- Good man.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Yeah, I can plan things when I need to.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Like, if I put my mind to something, I can normally do it.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Like, once I went to Glastonbury.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I didn't have a ticket.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Spent two days digging under the fence.
0:09:20 > 0:09:25Managed to catch the last two hours, all for free.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28The whole crew inside. Anyone that ain't heard.
0:09:28 > 0:09:33I will be going down court tomorrow because the dirty Babylonian
0:09:33 > 0:09:36are trying to take me down yet again. Do you know what I mean?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38- Burn down Babylon.- Burn them.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Feel free to come down and smash up the place.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Don't say smash up the place because they'll trace it back to me, you freak.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Don't smash up the place, but just come down with placards
0:09:46 > 0:09:48and banners and fucking megaphones and all that.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Do you know what I mean, like?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Yeah, should be good.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Good day's work.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Are you all right, Craigy?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Yeah, I'm good.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Hey.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Nice room you've got here, mate.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16Cool posters.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Listen, um...
0:10:20 > 0:10:24Uncle Chabuddy just wanted to have a word with you, if that's all right.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27You don't have to be worried about the baby, OK.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Kevin loves you very, very much.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- What?- Don't be embarrassed, mate.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Hold that baby tight to your bosom,
0:10:35 > 0:10:36OK.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39That little baby will cherish the nourishments
0:10:39 > 0:10:42from your bosoms for 1,000 lifetimes.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- OK.- Yeah.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Just think about it, mate.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52CHABUDDY SIGHS
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Hey, Craigy.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Cherish it.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Goodnight, mate.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05What are you doing? Leave the light on!
0:11:06 > 0:11:09I can't believe, like, it's exactly happening.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Do you think you will get sent down?
0:11:11 > 0:11:14You never know with these things, you know.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- Only time will tell. - It does happen, man.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Remember Fat Pete the other week?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20He went down for a little driving thing.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Yeah.- What do you mean he went down for a driving thing?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24That's... You can't just go down for...
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Yeah, he was trying to dispute it, or something.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30That's bollocks. You can't get sent down just little things, can you?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Yeah. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36My mate Darren was saying that if you've got previous,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38apparently you get a harsher sentence.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40I've had previous.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Yeah.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45I don't know what to do, man.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- I'm sorry.- All right.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Look, if you do go down, like, we'll look after the baby.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51You got nothing to worry about.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Me and Steves, anything you need.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- Anything.- Fuck off me. I'm not getting fucking sent down
0:11:55 > 0:11:57for dropping a cigarette on the floor.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59That'd be fucking mental.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Wouldn't it?
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- That bit's still out there. - Yeah, I know.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10- This little bit.- Yeah.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12- I just want to make sure everything...- Yeah, I know.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14- It is. Smart.- Yeah.
0:12:14 > 0:12:15- Yeah?- Thanks.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Not too tight. You're going to have the air brakes on over this.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32Just don't make it any worse. You just need to plead guilty and pay the £80 original fine.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- That's all you need to do. - Look, I'm not pleading guilty.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Guilty means automatic prison. Stop putting things in my head.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- I can't concentrate.- Well, you're not going to go to prison.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Like, the less you argue, the less the fine will be.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43Just think about the wedding.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Fuck the wedding! This is my happiness we're talking about.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47It's my life!
0:12:50 > 0:12:53What do you reckon, boys? Is that all right?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- See you later.- Bye.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09'You are now listening to the sounds of DJ Steves.'
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Shout out my nan.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Thanks for the care package.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Giving me everything I need.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19To get through the day.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Coming up over the next eight hours, we will be bringing you...
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Vocal garage.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Speed garage.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Garage.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Dance hype garage.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Grime.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Jungle.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Drum and bass.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40And some various hard-core tunes, the only ones Grindah likes.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51HE COUGHS
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Right.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58You've got to use what's around you. You've got to be creative, you know.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02I could transform this.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05I see things right now you'll never see in your life.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Look at this. What do you think that is?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09- That's a watering can.- Is it?
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Yeah.- Yeah. You know what I see?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- What?- It's a loud speaker.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Hello.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18A very simple way of thinking, you have.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25How come you're not down the courthouse with the rest of the Grindah Appreciation Society?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I like to stay away from court rooms, you know, just in general.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29They ask too many questions.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32What's your name? You know.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35So, I like to keep my head down and stay off the radar.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Oh! Very nice. Very daring.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44- Are you finished upstairs? - Yeah. I'll crack on.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46I've got a bit more to do.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59I don't know. What do you reckon?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Done up or undone?
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Maybe just not wear it at all, man.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06It's a £200 jacket, man. I'm trying to look as smart as possible.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11Easy. Got you a Maccys with 20 nuggets for, like, your last meal.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12It's not my last meal.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Stop going on like I'm going to jail constantly.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Let me have the chips, I'm feeling a bit light-headed.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21- You want some chips, yeah? - Yeah, quick. Quick!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24I can't eat. I can't eat.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25Take it.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- Good morning.- Name?
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Um, Tony.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33- HE MUMBLES - Er, Zagrofoff.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35What?
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Zagrofoff! There's nothing wrong with it, it's Greek.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41All good?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Could I have a quick word with you, please, mate?
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Is there any way we could just call this all off?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55I've got the 80 quid on me now and we could just save everybody's time.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59- I can't do that, I'm afraid.- Yeah, I get where you're coming from but...
0:15:59 > 0:16:01No-one has to know, yeah?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Just, literally, ignore the envelope.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Can you make your way to court four?
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Please. There's 80 quid there.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Court four.- You can just have that.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11All right. Get off me.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- Bang them doors, brother. Free Grindah.- Bruv, stop saying...
0:16:15 > 0:16:17- Bang them doors. - I ain't even got doors yet.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Stop saying that.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20How would you do in jail?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24I'd be all right because last time Grindah went to jail
0:16:24 > 0:16:26I actually learnt how to plug things.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28What do you mean by plug things?
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Plugging.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34You put things in a condom
0:16:34 > 0:16:35and you plug it.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Oh, what, up...?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Yeah, I got an N Gauge up there.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42- A whole N Gauge?- Yeah.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44And a charger.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56- Are you worried about Grindah's fine?- Yeah.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I really don't want it to affect the wedding budget.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00So, I reckon if I could just sell a few things,
0:17:00 > 0:17:01then I can make the £80.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04And then he won't have to cut back on any essentials.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07I'm really worrying about the cost of pony rental now.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Nothing like a good bit of carpentry.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Very holy. Like Jesus, isn't it?
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Very good with wood.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26CHUCKLES
0:17:26 > 0:17:28This will go on here.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Keep the baby nice and safe.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33The other thing about this cot, yeah.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35They can stick this bad boy out in the garden.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Nice bit of weather. Have a lovely barbecue, mate.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41What do you want? Do you want a burger, mate?
0:17:41 > 0:17:42Get the Pimm-ps, mate.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Let's have a nice glass of Pimm-ps.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46Two in one.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Barbecue grill.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Baby's cot.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Just hold that bit.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Baby's cot.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I love it when it doesn't overflow.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Right.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16You're locked into the sounds of DJ Steves.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Taking you through.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21We've got a little bit of Grime coming up for you.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Sorry. No, we got Jungle coming up for you.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Oh, my God. No fucking way.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28No.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30No.
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Fucking hell.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33It's gone in my eyes.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35It's in my eyes. I've got piss in my eyes.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38For fuck's sake.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40The list is fucked and I'm covered in piss.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45I should have just gone to the fucking toilet. It's only there.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50I can't sit around any more. I've got to be in there, man.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52I'm going to wait outside. Yeah.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- Sure?- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56If Grindah goes jail, yeah,
0:18:56 > 0:18:58and Kurupt FM dies,
0:18:58 > 0:19:02it's not just me or the Kurupt FM boys that are let down,
0:19:02 > 0:19:04but it's the listener.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06And I think that's what hurts the most.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Just knowing that there's, like
0:19:08 > 0:19:11tens of...
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Ten to 100 listeners all locked on.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Just waiting for their favourite MC.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19And he's not there any more.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21My head was all clouded.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Please, look. Can I just please pay the original fine.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Look. I've got it here.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29- Mr Zagrofoff, please sit down. - Please, can you take it?
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- Mr Zagrofoff!- All right, stop saying my surname.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Mr Zagrofoff... - Mr Zagrofoff.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39All right. Fucking hell.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41I don't know what...
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Where's the coke?
0:19:43 > 0:19:46I don't know what I'm supposed to play next.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49There's got to be... Fuck off...
0:19:50 > 0:19:52No.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54This'll do, this'll do.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56This'll do.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59All right, you know what?
0:20:02 > 0:20:08Emergency situation calls for my little emergency helper.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Acid. It's going to be all right.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15It's going to be all right. Yeah, your brain can get tired,
0:20:15 > 0:20:19but you only use a small percentage of your brain.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22And if you take acid, for example,
0:20:22 > 0:20:26you can actually access different other bits of your brain.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Bits that aren't as tired.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35It's like with a plane.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38You have like...another engine.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40If one engine fails,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42then the other engines will come on.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43The spare engines.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45If you turn them all on, fucking hell.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47You're flying, mate.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51Sorry.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Door open.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Follow my voice, follow my voice.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- Through this, through this. - No comment.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01- No comment.- All right, you're out.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04- Everybody stand back.- I don't think you'll need that jacket.- What?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Where's all the press and shit?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Dunno. I think the clocks went back a few weeks ago.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Is it? You boys are going to have to film this
0:21:11 > 0:21:13because the news crews must have got it mixed up.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15You lot can just pick it up, send it over to them.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Pop yourself down there.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21You've got the court in the background, yeah? OK.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Ready?- Go.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28I would just like to say on behalf of myself, my family and the BBC,
0:21:28 > 0:21:31that justice has been served in Brentford today.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- Yes.- Hold tight the judge and big up everyone that's been there for me in
0:21:35 > 0:21:39these dark times. I have escaped jail and I'm once again a free man.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- Feels good to be out.- Feels great.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- Amen.- Amen.- I'll be making no further comments on this occasion.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Give my client a bit of space, please.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Have you still got those nuggets?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50No, me and Decoy twosed them.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53I'm free!
0:21:53 > 0:21:54I beat the case!
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I beat it!
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Daddy's back.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- So, how much was it? - How much was it?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Look at her. So selfish. I nearly went to prison.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- Obviously I'm glad you didn't, but how much?- Yeah.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Well, surprise, surprise. You get your £80 back.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13What? How? That's amazing.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Because basically you've got to read this instead, apparently.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Yeah. Some sort of...
0:22:20 > 0:22:24I did try asking for a tag instead, but, erm...
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Apparently they don't do trades, so...
0:22:27 > 0:22:28Yeah, it's just on the next page.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Oh...
0:22:32 > 0:22:34What?! £700?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Why is it so much?
0:22:36 > 0:22:37I don't know.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40But you can't really put a price on freedom, can you?
0:22:40 > 0:22:43If you could, it be more than 700, mate. It'd be like ten grand.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45So...
0:22:45 > 0:22:46You're lucky.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48SHE SIGHS
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Anyway, it's done now, innit?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00It's in there.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04It's in the walls, I can hear it in the walls.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Ah!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Can you hear the scratching?
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Maybe it's trying to communicate.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Tia!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Yeah, that's £2, please.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- Hold on a minute.- Thank you.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Are you selling peanuts?
0:23:25 > 0:23:27You know that's my thing, copycat.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29You just add a bit of spice to some normal nuts
0:23:29 > 0:23:30and charge double the price.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33What?
0:23:33 > 0:23:34So, how did you find Tia?
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Tia was... You know, she just wandered in.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39I just gave her a quick interview.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40And that was it.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43I saw that she had the same street savvy entrepreneurship
0:23:43 > 0:23:45than I have. Gourmet peanuts.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47£3. Eh?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49She wanted to get into the food game.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50But you don't make food.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52We don't make food yet. But we will.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Because she has a lot of dreams. She's very ambitious, like I am.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56OK. We need to sort out the kitchen.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- Yeah.- Which means I need the metal bit for the grill.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01The metal bit? Is that not in here?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03- Yeah, it's missing. I don't know where it's gone.- What?!
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- Have you seen it?- No.- Where's it gone?- I haven't seen it.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09It was here, wasn't it? Where's it gone? Someone must have taken it.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Abdi. Abdi. Abdi must have.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25I mean, this is weird even for him, right?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29And who are they meant to be?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32She's got tits.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36He's got his tongue fallen off and two teeth in a gaping mouth.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38What is it?
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Has he cut my fucking curtains up?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Look at it. It's fucked!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Is that...?
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Is that a fucking grill?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Do you think you'll get Chabuddy to do more work for you?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Yes, I'm going to get Chabuddy to come round and do more work.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59The first thing he's going to do is paint over this fucking monstrosity.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06This is an SOS.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10We have reached the day of reckoning, people.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11The Illuminati...
0:25:12 > 0:25:13..are everywhere.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18The symbol of the Illuminati is the all-seeing eye.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22And if you look carefully, you can see eyes everywhere.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Oh, fucking hell.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Fuck's that playing? Stinks of piss, Steve.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34- I should have known. - What's going on, man?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Steve, mate. You've had one of your episodes again.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Just... What are you doing?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Just calm down, man. Get away from the decks.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Steve. Just get away from...
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Ugh, why are you wet?
0:25:44 > 0:25:47You fucking stink as well. Get off me. Just get off me.
0:25:47 > 0:25:48Come on, mate.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50A very pungent smell in here.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52You're done, mate. It's over.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54What day is it today?
0:25:54 > 0:25:56- Are we finished. - You're done, mate.- You're done.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58You're over. All right, mate.
0:25:58 > 0:25:59Yeah, well done, Steves, mate.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- You've done really well. - Yeah, let's...
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- I did it.- You did it, mate.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05You did it, yeah.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08We need to just get you out of the room for a sec.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- Shall I lock him in the bog? - Yeah, wash his face as well.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12- It usually calms him down. - All right.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14- Are we washing my face?- Yeah, yeah.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16- Can I wash my face?- Come on.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Yeah, Steves does struggle with the longer sets.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22- I think he get's overwhelmed by it all, innit?- Yeah, he does.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24It's mainly the daytime ones because he's not used to it.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27I think it just throws off his body clock a little bit.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- Yeah.- Oh, so it's happened before?
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Yeah, yeah, yeah. One time he fucking burnt his bed down because
0:26:32 > 0:26:35he decided he never wanted to sleep again.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- That's why he sleeps on the floor now.- Yeah.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Just want to take this moment for your listening pleasure.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Oh, yeah. It's my intro.
0:26:43 > 0:26:44Fresh out the pen.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45MC Grindah.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Sounds of the... Sounds of the...
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Sounds of the MC Grindah.
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Mic check, one, two.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58AKA the white Mandela.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01AKA you can never hold me down.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05AKA I'm finally free from persecution.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Oh, feels great to hear the sound of my own voice again, actually.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- Shall I run the...?- Run the rhythm.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15Basically, us and the law have been an ongoing battle from day dot.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18It's almost like a game, yeah, that you can't win or lose.
0:27:18 > 0:27:19It just sort of continues.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- Oh, no, you can lose. Go to jail.- Yeah.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Yeah, and if you pay a massive fine as well.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Yeah, but I didn't pay the fine, so I still win.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Well done, mate.
0:27:35 > 0:27:36This is Grindah's favourite jacket.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39This is his, like, signature style.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44You could wear this from the '30s to the modern day.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Like, this is a timeless piece of fashion.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48But we need to sell it.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55I don't think Grindah's going to be happy about it.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59But I just think deep down this is actually what he wants me to do.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02So he can have the most beautiful, perfect wedding day.
0:28:02 > 0:28:03The best day of his life.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08And we don't have to tell him straight away.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14It's good to have you back, mate.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16Listen, it's good to have me back, too.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18- Cheers, mate.- Yeah. I can't believe I was like this close
0:28:18 > 0:28:20to being in a fucking cell, like.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23Some tiny little room just surrounded by weird...
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Yeah.
0:28:27 > 0:28:28We're free men, yeah.
0:28:28 > 0:28:32We will not be ridiculously subjected to your stupid little man
0:28:32 > 0:28:33- made up laws, mate.- Exactly.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35Subject your law and stick it up your arse.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37- Trust me.- Fuck the system.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Fuck the system. Fuck the police, yeah.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41- Exactly.- Trust me.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45- Actually, I might...- Yeah, you should probably get that.