Valentimes

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04Come on in with the box. Easy, easy does it.

0:00:05 > 0:00:07Here we go.

0:00:07 > 0:00:14# Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day is a day for romance. #

0:00:14 > 0:00:16Mmm, you can really smell the sex in the air,

0:00:16 > 0:00:19- isn't it?- Yeah, what is that smell, actually?

0:00:19 > 0:00:24I actually got us a really good deal on 40 crates of mackerel, you know?

0:00:24 > 0:00:28And, like, you know, seafood on Valentine's Day,

0:00:28 > 0:00:30it's like an aphrodisiac.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33Yeah, but I don't think that applies to gone-off mackerel.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Oh, balloons, you did that as well?

0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Yeah.- Ti-ti!- They're all over, look behind you.

0:00:38 > 0:00:42I feel the love. Hey, all you need is love.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44Isn't it?

0:00:44 > 0:00:46- And maybe some lovely mackerel. - HE LAUGHS

0:00:50 > 0:00:53Oh, come on, Kevin, she's not going to wait for you.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Oh, Kevin, come on!

0:00:55 > 0:00:59- I'm just looking for something. One minute.- Stop looking!

0:00:59 > 0:01:03- Now, Kevin! - SHE GROANS

0:01:03 > 0:01:04I can't find my chinos.

0:01:04 > 0:01:08- Forget your chinos, let's just go! - All right, cool.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Don't forget the bag!

0:01:10 > 0:01:11Bag, bag.

0:01:11 > 0:01:15- Got the bag. - SHE GROANS

0:01:16 > 0:01:18OK, I got the bag.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21- Good.- Where's Craig?- He's out with his dad. Just hurry up!

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Ssshhhh. Keep it down, Grindah's asleep.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25I don't give a fuck about Grindah!

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Just get me to the hospital and get her out of me!

0:01:28 > 0:01:30- OK.- Yeah?- How do you want to do it?

0:01:30 > 0:01:32- Cos I've only got the ped. - Call a cab!

0:01:32 > 0:01:35- OK, yeah, call a cab. All right. - SHE GROANS

0:01:35 > 0:01:38Oh, yeah, there's this mad thing called Uber, you heard about it?

0:01:38 > 0:01:41Oh, it says I need to update my card details.

0:01:41 > 0:01:42Do you know your card number?

0:01:42 > 0:01:45- GROANS:- Hurry...the fuck...up! - OK, OK.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Big day today - Valentine's Special,

0:01:49 > 0:01:51so we're going to have a little aerial revamp,

0:01:51 > 0:01:53make sure the signal's extra crispy, innit, mate?

0:01:53 > 0:01:56- You get on that soon, all right?- I'm just going to meet my nan, man,

0:01:56 > 0:01:58but I'll see you lot in a bit.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00You're meeting... It's Valentine's... Steves.

0:02:00 > 0:02:01- I always meet her.- Fuck's sake.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Beats has fucked off already.

0:02:03 > 0:02:04Great, so I'm left on my own again.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07- I'll be about, man. - I mean one of the main ones.

0:02:08 > 0:02:09Fuck's sake. Yeah,

0:02:09 > 0:02:12Valentine's Day is one of the most important sets in

0:02:12 > 0:02:14the Kurupt calendar,

0:02:14 > 0:02:18and I'll tell you why, cos we see it as a way of building up listeners,

0:02:18 > 0:02:20yeah? Think about it. Like, usually,

0:02:20 > 0:02:22you'd just be listening to Kurupt on your ones, innit, yeah?

0:02:22 > 0:02:25But on Valentine's Day you'll be there with your girl or your man or

0:02:25 > 0:02:29whatever, so that's already double the listeners, at least.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Cos obviously some cultures have more than one partner.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33But we see that more as a bonus.

0:02:34 > 0:02:35OK, enjoy it.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Hey, happy Valentine's Day.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Oh, threesome.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Very European.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42PHONE RINGS

0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Kevin, you old slut. - HE LAUGHS

0:02:45 > 0:02:47What? What, right now?!

0:02:47 > 0:02:50OK, um... Yeah, yeah, OK, stay calm, mate!

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Kevin, STAY CALM!

0:02:52 > 0:02:54OK, OK, OK, yeah, I'll come, I can come!

0:02:54 > 0:02:56I can come, yeah, I can come!

0:02:56 > 0:02:57Um... Let me just...

0:02:57 > 0:02:59I'll bring the Merc.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Listen. Oh, my keys. I gotta...

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Where's my keys? Where's my keys?

0:03:03 > 0:03:04- I don't know.- I put them here some...

0:03:04 > 0:03:06I totally understand what you're going through.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08You do not understand.

0:03:08 > 0:03:09I do NOT understand what you're going through.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12You are not even close to understanding.

0:03:12 > 0:03:13# Twinkle, twinkle... #

0:03:13 > 0:03:15- Fuck you! - SHE GROANS

0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Chabzilla. - SHE GROANS

0:03:19 > 0:03:21Yeah, it's getting a bit nuts here, mate.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23Yeah, we're getting a bit sectiony.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27- Yeah. Oh, he's pulling up, he's pulling up. - HORN TOOTS

0:03:27 > 0:03:29- Help me!- Let's go.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31- Help...me!- Yeah, please.- Help me.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Help me!- Help me. Help ME. - SHE GROANS

0:03:36 > 0:03:38You spoken to Beats yet?

0:03:39 > 0:03:40Nah, he's on some, like,

0:03:40 > 0:03:42"Oh, I'm going down the hospital

0:03:42 > 0:03:44"because I care about Roche and want

0:03:44 > 0:03:47"to hold her hand while she's having a baby."

0:03:47 > 0:03:48- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50When Angel was born, did I miss a set?

0:03:52 > 0:03:54- No.- No, no, I didn't, no.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Exactly. Cos I put radio before everything,

0:03:56 > 0:03:58because I actually care about it.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01Plus I didn't really clock that's why

0:04:01 > 0:04:03I had all of the missed calls from Decoy and Miche.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09I'd like you to add a little backcomb as well,

0:04:09 > 0:04:11just to give it a bit more volume.

0:04:11 > 0:04:12Yeah.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15You had any Valentine's Day cards, Tyler?

0:04:15 > 0:04:17- A fair few.- Yeah, I bet you did!

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Look at him, he's such a little player.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21You can tell cos he's got the earring.

0:04:21 > 0:04:22That's how you tell a player.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24He's single. He's available, Miche.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Just saying. What am I like?

0:04:27 > 0:04:29I'm turning into my mother.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Well, people have asked me if I think that me and Grindah are going

0:04:32 > 0:04:35to get back together, and the answer at the moment is, I don't know.

0:04:35 > 0:04:36I mean, it all depends on him.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38'What's your Facebook status?'

0:04:38 > 0:04:39Oh, God. Yeah.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42That took me days to work out.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45I went for "it's complicated", because, I mean,

0:04:45 > 0:04:47the situation IS complicated.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49I didn't really know what that meant before but now, yeah,

0:04:49 > 0:04:50I really understand it.

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Oh, lovely.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Who are they for?

0:04:55 > 0:04:56Uh, Susan.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Oh, more for Susan.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00You little whore-bag!

0:05:01 > 0:05:02- Wow.- Thank you.

0:05:02 > 0:05:06Oh, they're beautiful, thank you very much.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Oh, someone's getting lucky.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Where are you going to put them, in your living room?

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Yeah. I'll put them with all the others.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Taxi for the lady with the flowers!

0:05:16 > 0:05:17Right, pull up, mate.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19SHE GROANS

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Right, cool, let's go. OK, stay clenched.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27- I'm clenching.- Keep clenching.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28All right.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Get out of the way, you!

0:05:30 > 0:05:33- Do you need anything from the bag? - No, no, keep going!

0:05:33 > 0:05:35I've got Lucozade... Oh, fuck!

0:05:35 > 0:05:37- What, what, what?- I've got Craig's bag.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40- What?!- It's just got an empty packet of ham and a pencil case in it.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43- I don't want any fucking ham! - Let me check the pencil case,

0:05:43 > 0:05:45- there might be something useful in it.- Yeah, good idea.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Just forget about the pencil case, OK? Just go!

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Forget about that. OK, let's go, let's go. Let's go. Which way?

0:05:50 > 0:05:52- No, no, no!- Right!

0:05:52 > 0:05:54- No, right, right, right! - SHE GROANS

0:06:01 > 0:06:03(OK, come on.)

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Right, we're all clear.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09Time for you lot to see who the real soldier of Kurupt FM is, yeah?

0:06:09 > 0:06:12Keep it down, yeah? Here she is.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Fucking hell, it's high, innit?

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Every general needs their army working as a unit,

0:06:20 > 0:06:22do you know what I mean?

0:06:22 > 0:06:24So you need your team there to be, like, pre-rolling your zoots,

0:06:24 > 0:06:27like, making sure the phone's charged, track listing right, like,

0:06:27 > 0:06:29there's just better things to think about.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Check the aerial, make sure it's crisp.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Oh... Oh, fuck!

0:06:36 > 0:06:38This is mental.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Someone in my position shouldn't be doing things like this.

0:06:41 > 0:06:42Hold on.

0:06:44 > 0:06:45Fanta.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Is it sounding clearer?

0:06:50 > 0:06:51Well, is it sounding worse, then?

0:06:51 > 0:06:53No, well, then say it's sounding clearer, then.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Don't... Right, good.

0:06:59 > 0:07:00Seen Lorna's new whip?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04'What's been your favourite Valentine's Day?'

0:07:04 > 0:07:08Me and my nan once went to this place called Blackpool,

0:07:08 > 0:07:10where there's these...

0:07:10 > 0:07:12'They do this lights thing.'

0:07:12 > 0:07:13- Come through.- Steve?

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Easy. 'And we, well, we...'

0:07:16 > 0:07:18I did acid and she, like,

0:07:18 > 0:07:22had a glass of wine and we just had a really nice evening.

0:07:22 > 0:07:27# Nan-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na, Nan. #

0:07:29 > 0:07:31You seen my nan, Pete?

0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Uh...- Hi, Steve, um...

0:07:33 > 0:07:36Can we have a little chat, please, in private?

0:07:36 > 0:07:40- Yeah.- Yeah? OK, um, the number that you gave us,

0:07:40 > 0:07:42- it's not working, it's wrong. - Oh, yeah, no,

0:07:42 > 0:07:45I always give fake numbers out to people I don't know, sorry.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Just come in the office here, darling.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Has my nan been in trouble again?

0:07:55 > 0:07:56There you go.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Just take a... Just take a seat.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Can't really see much, stained glass.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37- Kevin.- It's fucking madness in there.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Did you get my message about the bag?

0:08:39 > 0:08:41- Yeah, man.- Yes.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43Roche has been switching about this.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47HE SIGHS

0:08:50 > 0:08:52HE BURPS

0:08:53 > 0:08:55I'm knackered.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Mum's doing all right as well.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Yeah?- All right, boys, I'll be back in a bit.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02- Nice one, Chabsy...- Good luck, mate.- Appreciate it, man.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05- No worries.- All right. It's ten centimetres now.

0:09:05 > 0:09:06Ten centimetres.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10The beautiful, disgusting miracle of birth.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17How you doing, though, Craig, you all right, yeah?

0:09:17 > 0:09:18- Yeah.- Yeah?

0:09:20 > 0:09:22You must be so excited, mate.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25You're about to have a little brother.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Sister.- Don't be too sure, mate, OK?

0:09:28 > 0:09:30I had...

0:09:30 > 0:09:32I had a friend once who was

0:09:32 > 0:09:34unfortunately born with a micro-penis...

0:09:34 > 0:09:36And...

0:09:36 > 0:09:38You know, for months they thought I was...

0:09:38 > 0:09:40they thought he was a girl.

0:09:43 > 0:09:44What?

0:09:45 > 0:09:48Anyway, I better shoot off anyway, I got stuff to do.

0:09:50 > 0:09:51See you in a bit, yeah?

0:10:02 > 0:10:06My nan always says that you have to live for the moment,

0:10:06 > 0:10:11cos tomorrow might never happen and yesterday don't matter.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14You have to be in the present.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20What day is it today, Wednesday?

0:10:20 > 0:10:22- Tuesday.- 'It's Friday.'

0:10:22 > 0:10:23Friday.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29# It's about time that I spat this rhyme

0:10:29 > 0:10:31# About this day called Valentine

0:10:31 > 0:10:33# Must say Grindah's so fine

0:10:33 > 0:10:35# Cos I got the flow to make a buddy wine, yes!

0:10:35 > 0:10:38# And you're locked into the sounds of the legendary MC Grindah

0:10:38 > 0:10:43# DJ Fantasy, for the Valentine's Special Fantasy Grindtime Hour. #

0:10:44 > 0:10:47RADIO: 'Looks like it's doing massive!

0:10:47 > 0:10:50'This is MC Grindah, with a sprinkle of something romantic.'

0:10:52 > 0:10:55Me and Grindah never really celebrated Valentine's Day.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57There was this one time, though, actually.

0:10:57 > 0:11:01We went to a restaurant, and then we ran away without paying the bill.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04I mean, we did have to pay it in the end, though,

0:11:04 > 0:11:07cos Grindah left his jacket there with an ounce of weed in the pocket,

0:11:07 > 0:11:11so, yeah, we had to go back and apologise, but...

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Remember! Remember texting, calling or whatever,

0:11:13 > 0:11:16sending your sexy shouts and dedications.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17Especially girls.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Just sweet ladies.

0:11:19 > 0:11:23Phone that number to call 07050 030 108289.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Just wait now.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30PHONE BEEPS Oh, shit. Phone line crew. All right, then...

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Outsider phone line crew, yeah? Message reads...

0:11:35 > 0:11:38RADIO: 'Big up the people that do runners from romantic restaurants

0:11:38 > 0:11:40'tonight. Don't leave your jacket there.'

0:11:40 > 0:11:45Uh... I ain't really got a clue what the hell you're talking about,

0:11:45 > 0:11:47'but... Yeah. Probably means

0:11:47 > 0:11:49'something to you, so yeah, OK...yeah?'

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Big yourself up.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53I don't think he got the reference, so...

0:11:53 > 0:11:55RADIO: '..Knows what the hell that one

0:11:55 > 0:11:57'was banging on about then, please...'

0:12:00 > 0:12:01Back to work.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04I don't really think there's any

0:12:04 > 0:12:06such thing as, like, an end and a beginning,

0:12:06 > 0:12:10but this is just another chapter in our love story, to be continued.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14'Do you think that will happen soon?'

0:12:14 > 0:12:15I mean, I'm really hoping it will happen soon,

0:12:15 > 0:12:18cos I'm quite close to my goal-weight

0:12:18 > 0:12:19for the wedding and I don't really

0:12:19 > 0:12:21want to put it back on with all the upset, so...

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Ideally.

0:12:26 > 0:12:27In you come.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30NEWBORN BABY GRUMBLES

0:12:30 > 0:12:35Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you our new daughter,

0:12:35 > 0:12:37fresh out the vagina, still warm as well.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40Yeah. This is Robyn.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43- Robyn Ariel.- That is to be determined.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45I'm very high right now.

0:12:45 > 0:12:46They had to sedate her because she

0:12:46 > 0:12:48kept going mental and threatening me.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50- Really?- Yeah.

0:12:52 > 0:12:53Oh, look.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55'Love is a madness.

0:12:55 > 0:12:56'Trust me, it makes you do things

0:12:56 > 0:12:58'that you never thought you would normally do.'

0:12:58 > 0:13:01Like, my plan was to be a DJ,

0:13:01 > 0:13:03make loads of money off of bookings and that,

0:13:03 > 0:13:06sell a bit of weed and buy a yard.

0:13:06 > 0:13:07Now I'm a family man.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Yeah.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13I mean, I've gotta go and blaze in the garden and that, but...

0:13:13 > 0:13:15It's all right, I suppose.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Still sick.

0:13:18 > 0:13:19Oh, there we go.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22- That's better, innit? - (How do I connect to the Wi-Fi?

0:13:22 > 0:13:24- (What?- How do I connect to the Wi-Fi?

0:13:24 > 0:13:28- (The Wi-Fi?)- This is more interesting than the internet.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Do you know what's amazing?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33One day this will turn into something like that.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37- Yeah.- Perfectly formed.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43I'll take the phone line crew, yeah?

0:13:43 > 0:13:4407050 030...

0:13:44 > 0:13:47PHONE RINGS

0:13:47 > 0:13:48Hello?

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Uh, one sec. It's a chick.

0:13:50 > 0:13:51It's a chick. Get ready.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56What's your name and where do you come from?

0:13:56 > 0:13:57'Is Decoy there?'

0:13:57 > 0:14:00No, Decoy's NOT here. I'm the main one, it's MC Grindah.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02PHONE CLICKS

0:14:02 > 0:14:04Hello?

0:14:04 > 0:14:05Did she hang up?

0:14:05 > 0:14:07No, she didn't hang up, she just...

0:14:07 > 0:14:09got cut off, cos she...

0:14:09 > 0:14:10ran out of credit.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21Um, Chabudds.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Have a word. I think...

0:14:23 > 0:14:24something's wrong.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28- What's up, Stevie, you all right, mate?- Yeah, man.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32Just, normal, everyday, getting along with things.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34You been... You been crying?

0:14:34 > 0:14:35Ah, nah.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37Just my eyes are, probably.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39I'm not.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41OK, listen, mate, I get it, OK?

0:14:41 > 0:14:43You don't want to be a dishwasher your whole life.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45It's not that, man.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47I... I really like this job.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50It's... It's cos my...Nan died.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53- Oh, shit.- Earlier today, yeah.

0:14:53 > 0:14:57Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59- No.- Is that why you're wearing that ring?

0:14:59 > 0:15:00Yeah.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04We've both got quite similar feminine hands.

0:15:05 > 0:15:06Come here.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Bring it in, guys, come on.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16HE INHALES

0:15:16 > 0:15:17HE SIGHS

0:15:17 > 0:15:20HE INHALES AGAIN

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Life is hard.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25- So hard.- OK, let's get back to work.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27Yeah?

0:15:29 > 0:15:30- Oh, is that YOUR hand?- Yeah.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36PHONE BEEPS

0:15:37 > 0:15:39Beats has had his yute, apparently.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41Is it? Sick.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43How's that sick?

0:15:44 > 0:15:46He's meant to be here.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49We're meant to be spending Valentine's together

0:15:49 > 0:15:50like we always do.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Do you know what?

0:15:54 > 0:15:58Thinking about it, there's probably a free position for you, mate.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Yeah, you'll have to fill his boots.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Going to need someone who actually cares about music and doesn't have a

0:16:04 > 0:16:06girlfriend to constantly throw him off everything.

0:16:06 > 0:16:08I have a wife, man.

0:16:08 > 0:16:09You've got a wife?!

0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Yeah.- You're, like, 17!

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Oh, God, do they...force you to get married at a young age in your

0:16:15 > 0:16:18- culture?- What? No, I'm 27, bro.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Oh, right. Fucking hell.

0:16:21 > 0:16:23Well, hold on, so...

0:16:23 > 0:16:26You're only here cos your chick's at work?

0:16:27 > 0:16:30Do you know what? Fuck that. You can leave as well, then.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32Yeah, but she ain't finishing for another hour.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34No. Don't care, I'm not playing second best,

0:16:34 > 0:16:37- you can go and wait outside. - Serious?- Go. Just fucking leave.

0:16:37 > 0:16:38- Are you serious?- I don't want you here!

0:16:38 > 0:16:42- We've got an hour left, man. - I don't care. I don't want you here.

0:16:42 > 0:16:43Get out. Fucking get out.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Yeah. Go on.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50'Do you ever worry that people will quit the station?'

0:16:50 > 0:16:52GRINDAH: Nah. I ain't gotta worry about shit like that, like.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55Just look at Beats and his baby, do you know what I mean?

0:16:55 > 0:16:56It's a phase, yeah?

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Like, once it's born, once it's screaming all night and that,

0:16:59 > 0:17:01he'll be the one running back to me, like,

0:17:01 > 0:17:02"Oh, can I do another set of radio?

0:17:02 > 0:17:04"Sorry I missed that one."

0:17:04 > 0:17:06"Oh, you need a DJ."

0:17:06 > 0:17:07I'll DJ myself.

0:17:07 > 0:17:09I don't need anyone.

0:17:09 > 0:17:10All I need is me, like.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14- Are you ready?- Right.- I'm ready.- OK.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16- Yeah, I'll catch you up, two secs. - Bye, Miche.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19- Bye.- Be careful.- Careful.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Take those... Sure you're all right locking up on your own?

0:17:22 > 0:17:25Yeah, it's fine, you lot have got places to be,

0:17:25 > 0:17:28- so I'll just...- He'll come to his senses soon enough.

0:17:28 > 0:17:32- I bet he misses you today.- OK. - Night.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35See you tomorrow.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37- Bye.- Girls!

0:17:37 > 0:17:41Hold tight, everyone out there with their special someone right now.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43And the single man, them too, yeah?

0:17:43 > 0:17:44I see ya.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53Beats usually just does THAT and it works.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55MUSIC STOPS THEN RESTARTS

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Usually I could do it, but I'm...

0:18:02 > 0:18:03I'm distracted.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06HE SIGHS

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Valentine's Day crew, I got someone I gotta go see.

0:18:13 > 0:18:14Normal radio will resume tomorrow...

0:18:15 > 0:18:16In a bit.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27- HE SIGHS - Listen to me, Stevie, mate, yeah?

0:18:28 > 0:18:31The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh awayeth.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35OK? Did you know that Beats and Roche had their child today?

0:18:35 > 0:18:37Did they? That's good.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39That's how it works, mate, yeah?

0:18:39 > 0:18:41We pass it on to the next generation.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43We live on through them.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47It's the circle of life, mate.

0:18:47 > 0:18:48One life ends...

0:18:49 > 0:18:50..another begins.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54That's mad. I didn't know that's how it worked.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Your nan's spirit will live on.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59I see.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21- Beats.- Grindah.

0:19:21 > 0:19:24How nice, bruv.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Sick you came, man.

0:19:26 > 0:19:27Yeah.

0:19:27 > 0:19:31- Did you leave radio?- Yeah, I turned it off for the day and that.

0:19:31 > 0:19:32For me?

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Yeah. Fuck it, why not, I thought I'd come and see you.

0:19:35 > 0:19:36Cheers, mate.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40I want to introduce you to someone.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44This is Robyn Ariel.

0:19:44 > 0:19:45Ah.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48- She likes you. - It's grabbed my finger.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Yeah.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52I'm still quite annoyed at you, though, man.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55I had to do radio on my own all day.

0:19:55 > 0:19:56I done the aerial on my own.

0:19:56 > 0:19:58You got no idea what that's like.

0:19:58 > 0:20:02I hear you, mate, but sometimes things are just more important.

0:20:02 > 0:20:04- Otherwise...- Otherwise what?

0:20:04 > 0:20:07Well, otherwise you end up on your mate's sofa.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09Yeah, well, that's my decision,

0:20:09 > 0:20:11cos I could've gone on his top bunk, so...

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Have you spoken to Miche? You two really need to talk.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16No, I ain't heard from her.

0:20:20 > 0:20:21Did you have a good Valentine's Day?

0:20:21 > 0:20:23- Yeah.- Yeah?

0:20:23 > 0:20:25Did you get any more cards?

0:20:25 > 0:20:26- Three.- Three?!

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Did YOU have a nice day?

0:20:31 > 0:20:34Yeah. This is nice.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50'You know, she loves you, you know.'

0:20:50 > 0:20:52Fuck knows why, but she does.

0:20:52 > 0:20:55You know, you two have really got something,

0:20:55 > 0:20:59you've got far too much to let it all just fall by the wayside and

0:20:59 > 0:21:02not, like, nurture it like a garden, you know?

0:21:02 > 0:21:04You've got a garden of...

0:21:04 > 0:21:06- LAUGHS:- Fuck, I am really fucking high.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08Yeah.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11- Of course she loves me.- Of course she does.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13She worships me.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15- Uh...- I knew it.- That's really not...- No, you're right.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17- I'm gonna get her back.- Yeah?

0:21:17 > 0:21:18Yeah.

0:21:18 > 0:21:20He's going to get her back.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23- Yeah.- Yeah.- I'll take these to her. - Those are my flowers.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Yeah, but you've seen them now, anyway.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Miche loves flowers, probably.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29- Good luck, mate.- Cheers, mate.

0:21:29 > 0:21:30- Grindah.- Yeah?

0:21:30 > 0:21:32- Pure Kuruption.- Each and every.

0:21:32 > 0:21:34108.9.

0:21:34 > 0:21:35- Sh, sh, sh.- Oh.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38May love be with you forever.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40See you later.

0:21:40 > 0:21:45Oh... Ti-ti, listen, you can leave early, you get out of here.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47I'm going to take care of everything, I'll clean up...

0:21:47 > 0:21:49No, no, no, I can't let you do everything.

0:21:49 > 0:21:50No, it's fine.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53Listen, look, it's Valentine's Day, yeah?

0:21:53 > 0:21:55You should be out there getting wined or dined.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57- Not both?- Hey!

0:21:57 > 0:21:59Definitely both. You deserve both.

0:21:59 > 0:22:00No, it's OK.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04Unless you've got some weird reason for needing to get rid of me,

0:22:04 > 0:22:07like you've booked a stripper or something.

0:22:07 > 0:22:08THEY LAUGH

0:22:08 > 0:22:10No, I haven't done that for years.

0:22:10 > 0:22:14And if I did want to treat myself, I'd probably go for an escort.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16It's more classier.

0:22:21 > 0:22:22Yeah.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27- Yes, you lot.- Yeah, Steves.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Oh, right, they're all coming in to look at me like this today.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Just came to see her.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Oh.- Put it there.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Thanks for coming, man.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40- Do you want to have a hold? - Can I hold her? Is that all right?

0:22:40 > 0:22:41Yeah, course it is.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43Just don't drop her. Ha-ha-ha(!)

0:22:43 > 0:22:46- That's your Uncle Steves. - There you go.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50- BABY GRUMBLES - Oops. Got her?

0:22:51 > 0:22:52There.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56Hello, Nana.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03It's me.

0:23:03 > 0:23:04Steves.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09I'm going to look after your ring for you.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14Until you're big enough to wear it yourself.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16And I've got your glasses, Nan.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Circle of life, innit?- Yeah.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Chabudds was right.

0:23:22 > 0:23:23I knew you wouldn't go.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32- Oh, oh, delicious.- Glad you like.

0:23:32 > 0:23:35Try it. Open your mouth wide.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37No. I'll do it myself.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Can you taste the Viagra?

0:23:42 > 0:23:44I'm only joking, only joking.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Viagra is pretty tasteless anyway.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49Hey, how about some wine?

0:23:49 > 0:23:51I can see what you're doing.

0:23:51 > 0:23:54What? It's for her, it's for the nan.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57- Give her a little send-off. - OK, go ahead.

0:23:57 > 0:23:58Yeah? OK, cool.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Mmmm.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03- OK, stop.- Huh?

0:24:03 > 0:24:07- Stop, stop.- It's for the nan, it's for Nan, for Nan.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09HE GARGLES

0:24:13 > 0:24:15You really get the taste if you gargle wine.

0:24:15 > 0:24:16Oh, really?

0:24:17 > 0:24:18- LIFT ANNOUNCES:- 'Going down.'

0:24:18 > 0:24:20It's now or never, really, innit?

0:24:20 > 0:24:22'Doors opening.'

0:24:33 > 0:24:35- Didn't know you were coming over. - All right?

0:24:35 > 0:24:37- Is that all right?- Yeah, I guess so.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41Got you these. They're flowers.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44Thank you. A vase as well?

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Yeah. It sort of comes with them.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50HE SIGHS

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Look, Miche...

0:24:52 > 0:24:56I just wanted to come over and just...

0:24:56 > 0:24:58I just wanted to let you know that I'm...

0:24:58 > 0:25:00I'm ready for you to take me back.

0:25:00 > 0:25:01- Oh, right.- Yeah.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Cos nothing really that bad actually happened and...

0:25:04 > 0:25:06It's been ages now and I've said I'm sorry, so...

0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Well, no, you haven't. - Well, I'm saying it now, then.

0:25:09 > 0:25:10Don't be all weird.

0:25:10 > 0:25:13Look, the point is that Beats and Roche got their kid now and I can't

0:25:13 > 0:25:16really stay there any more, and I just want us to get back together.

0:25:18 > 0:25:21But do you think anything has actually changed?

0:25:21 > 0:25:24No, but that's the point, like, nothing needs to change, like.

0:25:24 > 0:25:25We'll just go back to how it was,

0:25:25 > 0:25:27that's the whole point of sorry, innit?

0:25:27 > 0:25:28That is not how it works.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Well, do you want to explain how it works to me?

0:25:30 > 0:25:32- Can I come in?- No, I don't think it's a good idea.

0:25:32 > 0:25:33What? Have you got a man there?

0:25:33 > 0:25:34What?! Of course not!

0:25:34 > 0:25:36The point is that you don't give a shit.

0:25:36 > 0:25:38You're only here cos Beats kicked you out.

0:25:38 > 0:25:41It's not Beats's house, it's Roche's house, and they didn't chuck me out,

0:25:41 > 0:25:42they asked me to leave.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44You only care about yourself.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47You're so lucky to have me and you haven't got a clue.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Yeah, well, maybe you ain't got a clue, yeah?

0:25:49 > 0:25:51- I deserve more than this.- Yeah?

0:25:51 > 0:25:54Yeah? Well, good luck trying to find someone better than me.

0:25:56 > 0:25:57Fuck's sake.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Miche!

0:26:02 > 0:26:03Oh, come on, that's not what I meant.

0:26:03 > 0:26:06That's not how it was meant to happen.

0:26:06 > 0:26:07Miche!

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Miche? Please, Miche.

0:26:12 > 0:26:13I'm sorry.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16(Fuck's sake.)

0:26:24 > 0:26:26I'll just take the stairs.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36If you're happy, yeah,

0:26:36 > 0:26:39then you should just make sure that nothing changes and just do the same

0:26:39 > 0:26:42thing every day for the rest of your life.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Yeah, but change is good, though, innit?

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Like, sometimes it's good to leave your comfort zone.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51Like, I didn't think I'd like Thai food.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53It's actually quite banging.

0:26:53 > 0:26:54All right, mate?

0:26:56 > 0:26:57Yep.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03Am I philosophical? Yeah. And that's why I think, like,

0:27:03 > 0:27:05memes and sayings can really help out.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08# Lights are blinding my eyes... #

0:27:08 > 0:27:11"Dance like nobody's watching."

0:27:11 > 0:27:13You know, "If you love someone, let them go."

0:27:13 > 0:27:16# People pushing by... #

0:27:16 > 0:27:19"When you're at your weakest, you need to be at your strongest."

0:27:21 > 0:27:22Stevesy.

0:27:23 > 0:27:25Have you got a bed?

0:27:28 > 0:27:32- What's that?- A Valentine's card.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Aw, it's beautiful. Thank you.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36# Lights are blinding my eyes... #

0:27:36 > 0:27:38Mmmm.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40Chateau Blanche.

0:27:41 > 0:27:42- No, that's red.- Is it?

0:27:42 > 0:27:44# People pushing by

0:27:44 > 0:27:47# Then walking off into the night... #

0:27:50 > 0:27:55I believe that everyone has a purpose on this Earth,

0:27:55 > 0:27:58and that we will never know what that is.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01- Thanks, Nan.- What's that?

0:28:02 > 0:28:04Do you want one? Helps you relax.

0:28:04 > 0:28:08'Because you can spend your whole life thinking,'

0:28:08 > 0:28:10and you get to the end and your brain turns off and that's it.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14So, you might as well just...

0:28:14 > 0:28:15chill out.

0:28:15 > 0:28:17Enjoy it. A little bit.

0:28:17 > 0:28:20# People pushing by... #

0:28:20 > 0:28:23Yeah, go on, then, fuck it.

0:28:30 > 0:28:32'If you find something you like,

0:28:32 > 0:28:35'then you should just keep doing it regardless of what anyone else says,

0:28:35 > 0:28:38'yeah? Like, that's living the dream.'

0:28:39 > 0:28:41Fuck everything else.

0:28:41 > 0:28:43Yeah? Life's too short.

0:28:43 > 0:28:46- Innit?- Yeah.

0:28:46 > 0:28:48# People pushing by... #

0:28:48 > 0:28:50Grindah.

0:28:50 > 0:28:52# Then walking off into the night... #

0:28:52 > 0:28:54- Grindah.- Yeah?