0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains strong language.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10They've taken down the fucking aerial, man.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13- Oh, my God!- Surely that's wind damage, though, Decoy, right?
0:00:13 > 0:00:16It's got to be wind damage. It can't be Kold FM.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Fuck's sakes... Got to be wind damage.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21What do you reckon, Chabs? It's definitely wind damage, right?
0:00:21 > 0:00:25Yeah, I don't think this is done by wind damage, mate.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Not unless the wind used a baseball bat.
0:00:28 > 0:00:32Running your own pirate radio station is a...
0:00:32 > 0:00:34It's a big responsibility.
0:00:34 > 0:00:39Being the leader's hard as well, and I really miss Grindah,
0:00:39 > 0:00:41cos I'm under a lot of stress.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Well, it's pretty obvious who's done it, innit?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Well, if it was the fucking Kold FM boys,
0:00:45 > 0:00:47then we need an emergency meeting now.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Like, this ain't a joke!
0:00:49 > 0:00:52I'm actually getting an M on the top of my head from all the stress.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54- OFF-CAMERA: What, you're going bald? - Yeah.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Well, my hairline's going weird.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00I'm worried it's going to turn into an island.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Grindah would never let himself go bald.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Yeah, so, first time seeing Miche since I've...
0:01:11 > 0:01:15..given up all the radio and drugs and that, so, yeah.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19Trying to get it, like, normal hair sort of vibe.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22OFF-CAMERA: Do you want Miche to think you've changed?
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Course I want Miche to think I'm changed.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27I want her to think, "Right, like, what's up with him?
0:01:27 > 0:01:30"He definitely wants to get back with me and he's making an effort."
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Cos, like, there's this thing called grafting
0:01:32 > 0:01:34that chicks are obsessed with at the moment, yeah,
0:01:34 > 0:01:37and, like, what it means is basically just doing
0:01:37 > 0:01:38things that you'd never usually do,
0:01:38 > 0:01:41so that that girl thinks that you've suddenly changed
0:01:41 > 0:01:43into a better person.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Like, to me, that's the sort of modern version of romance,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48do you know what I mean?
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- Square pasta sheets! Mad, innit? - Mm.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53What you doing with my lasagne?
0:01:53 > 0:01:56I'm making Miche a lasagne.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Yeah - nothing screams class like a lasagne.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Well, get your own fucking lasagne sheets, then.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02OK, cool. Do you want me to get back with Miche
0:02:02 > 0:02:03and get out of your house, or...?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- All right. Fair point, yeah. - Yeah, thought so.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07You need some stock cubes as well.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- I'll show you where they are. - Yeah, cool.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Just going to pop these down here...
0:02:17 > 0:02:20So, what are you going to say to Daddy if he asks you about the glasses?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22A crazy party you had with your friends.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Actually, maybe say dinner party, it sounds a bit classier.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27When I was in a relationship,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29I'd say I would prefer to be in a relationship,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31but now I'm not in a relationship,
0:02:31 > 0:02:32I'm loving the single life, obviously.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37Now, what else can we do to make it a bit more...?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39It's, like, the freedom.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40I can just watch what I want on the telly,
0:02:40 > 0:02:42I can eat what I want for dinner.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44You know, it's a real breath of fresh air, you know,
0:02:44 > 0:02:46just being alone, just with my own thoughts
0:02:46 > 0:02:49and...yeah, just having that bit of time for me.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Miche time.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Shall we just...make it look a bit more, you know, like we've had fun?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Let's just... Yeah.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59That looks quite crazy, doesn't it?
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- Um...- Tomatoes are at the top. - Ooh, OK.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- Straight from Italy, probably. - Probably.- Yeah.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Cool, have you got a bag or something?
0:03:08 > 0:03:11You all right? You ain't picking up your phone.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Did you hear that, Roche? It's like a sort of hissing sound.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Yeah, sounds like a tiny, pathetic little snake.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Right, I am not getting involved in any of this, all right?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I've got to get ready for work,
0:03:21 > 0:03:23and don't forget you're looking after Robin today, innit?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25All right, I'll see you later, darling.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- I'm looking after Robin today? - Yeah. You're looking after Robin.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30BABY CRIES
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Listen, mate, I know we ain't talking and that,
0:03:32 > 0:03:34but we got a major fucking problem.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36The Kold FM boys destroyed our aerial.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Me and Grindah aren't chatting at the moment.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43You know, when you break up with your girlfriend or whatever,
0:03:43 > 0:03:45and it's just you can't, like, eat and that,
0:03:45 > 0:03:48and it's a bit like that, really,
0:03:48 > 0:03:51but with this doom of Kold FM over my head.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59See you later, mate.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00See you later, Roche, OK?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Great.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09BABY CRIES
0:04:09 > 0:04:12# Twinkle, twinkle, little star
0:04:12 > 0:04:16# How I wonder what you are
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- # Up above... # - It's working, boys.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- What are we doing, anyway? - Well, we're going to sort it.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Yeah, let's sort it. Let's sort it, mate.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Yeah, I'm up for sorting it, definitely.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- What, so it's a...peaceful...? - Do you have a plan?- Resolution.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Yeah. I do have a plan, Decoy.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34I've decided that we should just...
0:04:35 > 0:04:37..just snitch.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39No, I ain't not snitching, man, not me, man.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Yeah, me neither, man. I'm not snitching.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- I'll snitch.- Sweet, you can make the call, then.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45No, we're definitely not snitching!
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Yeah, we're definitely not snitching.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Steve, stop throwing everyone off. - Sorry, I just want peace.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53I'll do it. The studio's near my estate,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55so I'll see what I can find out.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Why didn't you say that before?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Perfect, because I actually hate snitching.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00OK, cool. You get the intel
0:05:00 > 0:05:03and then we can go down there and maybe do a stakeout.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05BABY GRIZZLES
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- Right.- OK, ready?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09One, two, three, four...
0:05:09 > 0:05:13ALL: # Twinkle, twinkle, little star... #
0:05:15 > 0:05:16KNOCKING
0:05:16 > 0:05:18So how does Mummy look?
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Nice.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- Hiya!- Hiya! - Oh, whoa, your hair looks...
0:05:28 > 0:05:29..better.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Oh, thanks.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33I've come off the drugs.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Really?- Yeah.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38I forgot to tell you, I'm officially a cold turkey.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- Wow!- Yeah. So I'm thinking about getting into CVs and that
0:05:41 > 0:05:43and maybe getting a job or whatever.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Well, that's amazing, yeah. Well done, you.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Let me know if you need help with your spelling
0:05:47 > 0:05:49or your Word Art or anything.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Miche, that'd be incredible. I might...
0:05:51 > 0:05:52Oh, going out?
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Oh, you know me, I'm just busy, busy, busy, nonstop, so...
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- I'll see you in a bit. - Yeah? No worries. See you later.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- You all right, Tanya?- Oh, hi, Miche, I didn't think you were in today.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11- Yeah. No, I left the house a bit early, so I thought I'd just come and check in.- Oh, that's nice.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Oh, you mean check in like that.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Yeah, I'm just saying I'm doing my hair, you know,
0:06:15 > 0:06:18just so Grindah and everyone else can see how well I'm doing.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19- On Facebook.- Exactly.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Tanya, would you mind just sort of pretending to cut my hair for me,
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- and then I can just get a picture of it for my Snap?- Yeah.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Well, it's quite quiet. Why don't we just give it a trim anyway?
0:06:28 > 0:06:31No, haven't got time. I need to check into a few bars before I go.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- So this is fine. OK.- Oh, OK...
0:06:34 > 0:06:37And then just look really happy, yeah?
0:06:37 > 0:06:38OK.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41I've been really busy on social media since the break-up,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43just been checking in to anything and everything
0:06:43 > 0:06:45so that everyone can just see how well I'm doing.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48- OFF-CAMERA:- Do you think social media shows your true self?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Definitely, because it's not me speaking to you right now,
0:06:50 > 0:06:52sort of saying any old thing that comes in my head,
0:06:52 > 0:06:55it's me sort of thinking about what I'm saying, deleting it,
0:06:55 > 0:06:58writing it again, deleting it and then posting to the world.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01So, yeah, it's... It's a more accurate me.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- All right? Oh, that was quick. - Thanks! See you.- Yeah. OK, bye.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Bye!- Have a nice time tonight.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09What was that? It's like a hit-and-run.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Is that all for his benefit, then? - Course it is.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16She's going to go and check in at the curry house over the road now.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21We used to have water fights round here back in the day.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Yeah, it was sick, and then it got a bit stabby round here, so we just...
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Yeah, made the water fights way more intense.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29All right, sweet, yeah. These are the blocks, here.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30- Are you ready, Steven?- Yeah.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33OK, boys, keep it covert, yeah?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Let me just pop this down, get that ready.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- Here we go! Good girl. - Daddy's going undercover, Robin.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Please don't scream.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- OK, ready to go. - Shh, shh-shh-shh-shh.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44OK, let's go. OK, come on.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- OFF-CAMERA:- Is it hard to find a pirate radio station?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51A pirate radio station is the same as a woman -
0:07:51 > 0:07:55very elusive, very secretive, very deceptive, yeah?
0:07:55 > 0:07:58They both lie a lot, you know?
0:07:58 > 0:08:02But I say that, don't I? I'm very good at finding people, you know.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05I'm like that bloody Liam Neeson and that, you know.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07I will find you. I will track you down,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09and I will kill you...
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Not kill you, but I will bloody get my Merc back.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16We're just three lads, out with a baby, having a stroll.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18- Three dads. - Yeah. No, lads, not dads.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Shh, shh-shh.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Check this out!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Bruno! - What are you doing?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Pretending I've got a dog, isn't it? Improvise.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29- Bruno...?- Bruno!
0:08:29 > 0:08:32- My dog, Bruno!- He might be in the bushes over there, somewhere.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- He might be, yeah. Yeah. - Bruno!- Bruno!
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- WHISTLE BLOWS, BABY CRIES - Bruno!- Oh, for fuck's sake, Steve!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43- I'm going to have to take her back. - Can't leave Bruno here.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45There is no Bruno, Steve.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- Sorry, Nan.- Shh-shh-shh.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50- No, she's not your nan, Steve. How many times?- She is my nan.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53- You are my man, I know. - Just be cool, be cool. Yeah?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56OK, just play it cool.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Just a couple of lads.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Bruno!
0:09:08 > 0:09:10HE WHISTLES
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Bruno!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17And that's peeling an onion.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21It isn't actually as easy as it looks.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Oh, Jesus Christ, man!
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Look at that!
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Freshly chopped!
0:09:29 > 0:09:32So that instantly starts... Look at that!
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- VOICEOVER:- Do you know what? I love cooking.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36I just never tried it.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Ah, you can really smell the flavours, can't you?
0:09:39 > 0:09:40Ah...!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42None of that microwave lasagne, you got to do your own,
0:09:42 > 0:09:43know what I mean?
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Buy your white sauce, buy your red sauce,
0:09:46 > 0:09:48buy the sheets, buy the meat, cook it all together and mix it.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Do you know what I mean? Fresh, home-cooked lasagne.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54So, are you moving back in?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Well, Angel, that's something me and your mum are going to have to discuss
0:09:57 > 0:10:00after she tries this wonderful little lasagne.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I still am the man of the house, just so you know.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Just because I don't live in the house, like, and that.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08She ain't had no other man in the house, has she?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Yes.- What? Who?
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- Uncle Decoy.- Oh, no, I'm thinking of other men that you don't know, like.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- Was there?- No.- No, good.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23Because I will crush everyone, you know that, Angel, yeah?
0:10:23 > 0:10:28Now, Robin, if that is your real name...
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Do you remember this? That's you.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35"World's greatest grandma."
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Look at these, you remember these?
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Your favourite, custard creams.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Remember them?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44What about that?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Jog any memories?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Any flashbacks?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- VOICEOVER:- People are saying, "Oh, you think your nan
0:10:51 > 0:10:55"came back as a baby, yeah, that's...you're mad," or whatever,
0:10:55 > 0:10:58but reincarnation's a tricky one.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59I've got an idea.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02- VOICEOVER:- It's like if you're a butterfly,
0:11:02 > 0:11:04and you see your old caterpillar mate,
0:11:04 > 0:11:06and you're like, "Bruv, what you saying? It's me."
0:11:06 > 0:11:10He might not recognise you, cos he remembers you as a caterpillar.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12And it's the same with, like, people -
0:11:12 > 0:11:16like, you are evolving, you go into the next body
0:11:16 > 0:11:20and it's hard to keep track of, like, your old caterpillar mate,
0:11:20 > 0:11:24if you're...a butterfly.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28What I'm going to do is I'm just going to show you this...
0:11:30 > 0:11:33..and I want you to tell me if it's better with the glasses...
0:11:35 > 0:11:36..or without the glasses.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40So, that's with...
0:11:42 > 0:11:43..or without?
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Shall we try it one more time?
0:11:47 > 0:11:48With...
0:11:50 > 0:11:52..or without?
0:11:54 > 0:11:55It's inconclusive, I think.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Have to try something else.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Stakeouts are way better in movies.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Listen, Kev, mate, you wouldn't know of anyone who kind of deals in
0:12:10 > 0:12:11kind of short, substantial loans
0:12:11 > 0:12:15with kind of, like, minimum paperwork, no ID or anything?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Like, quick loans.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21No, the only person I know is you.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25OK, listen, Kevin, what I'm going to tell you right now might shock you.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29- I'm bankrupt. I need the loan.- Shit.
0:12:29 > 0:12:30I lost everything, mate.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32- I lost my restaurant... - Serious?- Yeah.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35For the last two months, mate, I've been living in this van.
0:12:35 > 0:12:40You know what I mean? I'm pathetic. I'm literally a man in a van.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42It is kind of sick, innit, though?
0:12:42 > 0:12:45I'd love this. Like, no responsibility.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47It's like living in a caravan.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49You're a man of the road, Chabsy.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51You're a road man.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- Yeah, I guess I am a bit of a road man.- You are, yeah.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- Yeah.- Yeah, you're living OG, off-grid.
0:12:57 > 0:12:58I am an OG, yeah.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- Kind of like nomad style, you know. - Yeah.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- Like, I'm not living by society's kind of rules and that.- Exactly.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I'm like, kind of, just doing what I want to do, you know what I mean?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08- Like, driving where I want to drive...- Yeah!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10- Hair blowing in the wind. - Why not?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Shitting in a bucket... Just living life like I want to live life.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15You shit in a bucket?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Shh, let's just con...
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Keep your eyes peeled.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Brentford girls on tour, yeah!
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- Woo!- Wahey!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Love it.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32- VOICEOVER:- I want Miche to be happy. That's all, you know?
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I think she deserves a really good man.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35Yeah, but her idea of a good man
0:13:35 > 0:13:38is someone with money and chest hair, so...
0:13:38 > 0:13:39That's not necessarily true.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41I can take or leave the chest hair.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44I mean, Mick was very smooth,
0:13:44 > 0:13:46and that boy in Turkey barely had armpit hair.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49So.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Listen, Miche...
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Yeah?- Yeah. You know you said about, like, Grindah and stuff?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- Yeah.- You are definitely on your own, ain't you?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- Yeah.- There she is! Carol!
0:13:57 > 0:14:00- Mum, I don't...- I've got a little surprise for you...
0:14:00 > 0:14:02- Mum, please, please... - Listen, it'd do you good.
0:14:02 > 0:14:03- I'm really, really...- Listen!
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- Trying to put a smile on your face, trust me.- Please, Mum!
0:14:06 > 0:14:08- Hello, gorgeous, how are you? - How you doing? You all right?
0:14:08 > 0:14:12- Good to see you, babes! - Right, I told you about...
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- You must be Matias.- Matias.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- GIGGLING:- Matias...I love it!
0:14:16 > 0:14:18So, this is Miche.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19- Hello. - You two have got a lot in common.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21You're both hairdressers, right.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- Very nice to meet you. - You too...oh...
0:14:23 > 0:14:24It's nice to meet you.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26LAUGHTER
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- I love your hair.- Shut up! I look like a disgusting freak!
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- We'll go get a little drink, yeah? - Yeah, let's do that. Excuse me.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Mum, why are they here? - Listen, I reckon he'd fuck you.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38You should give it a go, all right?
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Right, it's nearly done. Get on top of the cheese, please, Angel.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- OK, Dad.- Teamwork, innit?
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Yeah, man is a responsible man right now, innit, Ange?
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- Yeah.- I tell you I quit blazing?
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Yeah. It's been quite intense, actually.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57I can't find the cheese grater.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Cheese grater! Jesus Christ, these kids don't know they was born.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Angel, here you go. Use this, yeah? But cut it really small - thank you.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06OK.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Oh, this red sauce is something else.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Oh, a little bit faster, all right, please? Thank you.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Nice!
0:15:16 > 0:15:17What's "candle" in Spanish?
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Candle is... That is, how you say, "vela".
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Ah! That's nice, a nice name, isn't it?
0:15:23 > 0:15:27"Vela en el viento", and this is like the song
0:15:27 > 0:15:29- Candle In The Wind. - Oh, I love that song.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- I love Princess Diana. - Yeah. This is from Princess Diana?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Yeah, yeah, she wrote it.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36How do you say rose wine in Spanish?
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Vino rose.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39SHE GIGGLES
0:15:39 > 0:15:41- Same again?- Oh, yeah, please.
0:15:41 > 0:15:42OK, I get some drinks.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Tell you what, mate, he is cracking, isn't he?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47He's very friendly. Very good at Spanish, actually, yeah.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- Yeah.- He...he is Spanish.- Yeah.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53I've got an idea. Let's settle this once and for all.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Which of these do you prefer?
0:15:56 > 0:16:00Nike jumper? Or...
0:16:01 > 0:16:02..cream cardigan?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Look, it's coming back.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Remember these? Do you remember these?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Do you remember? Think!
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Remember, remember, remember who you are.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19- WHISPERING:- Remember! Remember!
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Hey, look at that! Remember!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Remember! Do you remember?
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Something's clicked.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35It's you, isn't it, Nan?
0:16:37 > 0:16:38It's her.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40KEVIN HUMS
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Kevin! Kevin, over there, mate.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52I see one male, yeah, baseball hat, record bag, five o'clock.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Where's five o'clock?
0:16:54 > 0:16:56I'm just saying that's the time. I'm noting it down.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58- He's over there, look! - Oh, yeah, I can see him.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01All right, listen. Get out of the car, follow him on foot.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03- Why have I got to follow him? - Well, obviously I can't do it, man.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06My whole style is based around being noticed. I'm a peacock.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Fuck's sake, yeah, it's true. You're too flamboyant.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11- All right. Chabsy?- Yeah?
0:17:11 > 0:17:15- Cover me.- What? You got a gun?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17No, it's just cos we're doing the stakeout thing.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- It's what people say, innit? - Oh, shit. Yeah, cool, all right.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Kevin, clear! You're covered on this side.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Shut up!
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Oh, no, that's...
0:17:33 > 0:17:34Hi there!
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Oh, get some candles. Miche, where are your candles?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Oh, I thought you were scared of candles.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42No. I wanted to put the finishing touches on our little surprise.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- It's our lasagne.- Oh, did you do it all by yourselves?
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- I did the main bit, but, yeah. - Oh, looks lovely.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Yeah, thank you. I was thinking it might...might be nice
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- if we could sit down and get a... - LAUGHTER
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Yeah... - You've got people in there?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Yeah, sorry. - Hiya! All right, muggins?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Yeah, you can go now. Playtime's up.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Oh, that's funny. How have you been, anyway?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05- How have I been?- Yeah.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06You on drugs?
0:18:06 > 0:18:10I've actually given the drugs up, but thanks for your concern, though.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- He's gone weird.- Just go in there - he's making an effort, Mum...
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- Did you know they were all coming? - No.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- Here we go!- Yeah, no big deal, yeah. - Oh, a new one?
0:18:19 > 0:18:20Who's that?
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- Yeah... - See that guy in there?
0:18:22 > 0:18:26- Ask him who he is, what the hell he's doing here, yeah?- OK.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- Oh, my Angel!- Hola!- Hello. - Nice to meet you.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Daddy says, "Who are you?"
0:18:39 > 0:18:40Shit!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45PHONE CHIMES
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Yes, Kevin, mate.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49They've gone into the flat. I don't know what to do.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51OK, we need to make sure it's definitely
0:18:51 > 0:18:53- a pirate radio station, yeah. - OK.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Yeah, not just some bloody hipster with a cool bag.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57All right, stay on the line.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00OK, yeah, no, this is it.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:04 > 0:19:06So what are you hearing? What are you hearing?
0:19:06 > 0:19:09They're playing jungle, old-school jungle.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10- Jungle?- Definitely.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11Oh, shit, mate.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- You all right, mate?- Yeah, mate.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Just looking for my mate's house, mate.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21- Oh.- Yeah.- Who's your mate, then?
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Um...my mate, his name's Barney.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27- What?- Barney, you sent me to the wrong flat again, you dickhead.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- Who's Barney? Kevin, who's Barney? - Oi, Scott!
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- Abort mission...!- There's some geezer here looking for you, mate.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Start the Merc!
0:19:34 > 0:19:36I'm coming!
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Come back!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41SHOUTING
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Start the van up!- What? - Please! Get in the van!
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Quickly!- Fuck, they're coming!
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Please!- Fuck...- This way, this way! Go, go, go, go!
0:19:52 > 0:19:54SHOUTING CONTINUES
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Down there, mate.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Me and Mum actually went to Lanzarote, didn't we, recently?
0:19:59 > 0:20:01We did, oh, we had a scream.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Hey, don't you show him all those photos!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Lanzagrotty, some people call it.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Just going to say, food's nearly done if you want to...
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Yeah?
0:20:10 > 0:20:14- You all right?- Hello. - Hi! Yeah, it's just...
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Just saying, er... Trying to call you from there,
0:20:17 > 0:20:18you didn't hear me.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Food is nearly done, so if you want to...
0:20:20 > 0:20:21OK, yeah.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Why don't you make yourself useful and go and get some wine?
0:20:24 > 0:20:25No, don't be rude, Mum, no...
0:20:25 > 0:20:28No, honestly, it's... It'll be my pleasure.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Thank you. Thank you. - Don't thank him.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Being nice does get you places, do you know what I mean?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Like, you've not seen it from me, cos I am a nice person,
0:20:35 > 0:20:37but when I'm at Kurupt and that, I've got to be, bang,
0:20:37 > 0:20:39on the ball, on the ball.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Carol? Allow me.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Enjoy, enjoy! Yeah, sure.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Thank you.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49So with Miche, I've got to be nice, because then she'll realise,
0:20:49 > 0:20:52she'll be like, "Oh, is he actually a nice person now?"
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Little does she know that I'm pretending to be nice
0:20:54 > 0:20:56just to get her back, do you know what I mean?
0:20:56 > 0:20:58And that just shows how much I care, I think.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Go on, then.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04This is all yours, look!
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Touch it!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07That's all for you, that.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10My nan left a load of money for me.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Um...so I'm just sort of holding on to it for her.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16You are rich for your age, definitely.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19It's quite mad, actually, how much money you got.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Whatever she needs, I'll get it for her,
0:21:21 > 0:21:22then once she's old enough
0:21:22 > 0:21:24to understand money and reincarnation,
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I'll just sit her down and explain exactly what's going on.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Tuck in, they're going to see you, mate.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33Tuck in, Kevin.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- Why won't they leave?- Oh, my God!
0:21:37 > 0:21:38Too young to die.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41They better not touch my Merc, mate. She's all I've got left.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- OFF-CAMERA:- Have you been in a lot of fights, then?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47I've had one fight, actually,
0:21:47 > 0:21:51at Education In Dance at Brentford Leisure Centre.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53This girl threw my cap off my head
0:21:53 > 0:21:56and then I said, "What are you doing?"
0:21:56 > 0:21:58And she just smacked me in the face.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00So after that I just... lowed it.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- Miche! Food's ready.- All right.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Oh, look at that!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Oh, wow... It's good.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- There you go!- My God, well done. - Lasagne.- It's very good.
0:22:13 > 0:22:14In squares as well.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Oh, you did the cutlery the right way round as well.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19- I did, yeah.- God, well done!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I thought it'd be really nice...
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Oh, you're eating, are you?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25I thought it was maybe just...
0:22:25 > 0:22:28I thought it might be nice for us two to catch up, actually.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Sorry, can I...? Can I just...?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- Yeah.- Thanks, mate. Get a drink.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- Oh.- Thank you very much.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38- Yeah, no worries.- Perfect!
0:22:43 > 0:22:45I think they've gone back to their station.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49OK, just act normal, act normal. Nothing's wrong, just act normal.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51I can't believe we just snitched, man.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- Listen, Kevin, mate, mate... - I'm shaking.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56We did what we had to do.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- All right, I mean, technically, you did it, but...- Yeah.- We did it.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Look, man, we can't tell anyone about that, literally.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Like, no-one needs to know, like.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- It's embarrassing. - How much not to talk?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09What do you mean, "How much not to talk"?
0:23:09 > 0:23:11If you tell anyone, I'll tell them you live in a shitty Renault
0:23:11 > 0:23:13and you shit in a bucket.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15- It's a Merc.- It's a Renault.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Come on, man, we got to get out of here.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
0:23:24 > 0:23:27MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- I've got...I've got one for you. - Miche...- No peeking!- I know her!
0:23:31 > 0:23:34VOICEOVER: Love makes you do stupid things.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37You can't describe it, can you? It's this beautiful thing
0:23:37 > 0:23:39that just hits you and you can't stop it,
0:23:39 > 0:23:40and it's, like, filling your body
0:23:40 > 0:23:43and you want it to go away cos you feel uncomfortable and scared,
0:23:43 > 0:23:46but you also want it to stay there, cos, you know...
0:23:46 > 0:23:49It's almost like you can phone in sick and lie in bed all day and sort of enjoy the day.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51It's sort of like being ill.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53- Bye, cheers! Thanks for the lasagne. - Oh, right, no...
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Yeah, my pleasure. Yeah...
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Mitch, do you want to take my number,
0:23:58 > 0:24:00just in case you want to meet again with me?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02LAUGHING: Sorry! I just...
0:24:02 > 0:24:04I don't know if I'm really in a place
0:24:04 > 0:24:06where I can do that right now, so...
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Ah. OK, but...
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Well, you know, obviously, like, with the language barrier and everything,
0:24:13 > 0:24:14you know, it just...it might not...
0:24:14 > 0:24:16But I'm speaking English.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Yes, yeah, so...
0:24:17 > 0:24:18OK, OK.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- No, you too, yeah!- OK....
0:24:29 > 0:24:30Love this one.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Hello! Hello!
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- Man.- Yes, brother.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Shaking, man.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44What happened? Did you find Kold FM?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Yeah, we...sorted it.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49What happened?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Just... Look, it's sorted.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Did you beat the shit out of them?
0:24:55 > 0:24:56Yeah, course.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- Can I see your knuckles? - I already washed them.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Clean.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04OFF-CAMERA: So what happened with Kold FM?
0:25:04 > 0:25:05Need-to-know basis, mate.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Let's say that if someone cut down a tree in a forest, yeah,
0:25:11 > 0:25:12and no-one was there to see it...
0:25:14 > 0:25:17..did it even matter or did it even happen?
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Let's not point fingers
0:25:18 > 0:25:21about who called the tree surgeon or whatever,
0:25:21 > 0:25:23let's just...keep it moving.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25That's what happens.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29That's what happens when you mess with Kurupt FM. Innit?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Yep.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Don't...
0:25:33 > 0:25:35..fuck with us.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40God, that Matias was a bit sleazy, wasn't he?
0:25:40 > 0:25:42I dunno, he was all right.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Isn't that the stuff that we use on the cushions?
0:25:44 > 0:25:48Yeah, but also good on washing up and that, so...
0:25:48 > 0:25:51It's an old wives' tale sort of thing.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54OK, yeah. Right, well, I'll let you get on with that.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57OK, yeah. You go put your feet up.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- VOICEOVER:- They say absence makes the heart grow fonder
0:26:06 > 0:26:09and if you love someone then let them go.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11But it's bollocks, really, innit?
0:26:11 > 0:26:13If you love someone, be around them all the time
0:26:13 > 0:26:15to remind them that you're better than anyone else
0:26:15 > 0:26:17and show them that you're the perfect man.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20HOOVER HUMS
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Thought I'd give the place a little once-over.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Yeah, don't worry about it, it's fine. It's a bit late.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- Angel's asleep, so let's... - It's all good.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36I'll just bang it out real quick.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40- Did you want a little bit of this? - Oh, really?- Yeah.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Fuck it, old times' sake, innit?
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Yeah, and don't worry about doing any more cleaning.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48Mm...honestly, I just wanted to finish this
0:26:48 > 0:26:50and then I'll make a start on the inside of the oven.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Oh, no, no. Seriously, you've done enough.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54You don't need to do any more.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- I've done enough.- Yeah.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Cool, well,
0:26:58 > 0:26:59unless you wanted to...
0:27:01 > 0:27:03- No... - Yeah, oh, no, I'll shoot off.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04- Yeah.- Cool, yeah.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Yeah, you just...yeah, get home. Get home safe, and...yeah.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10- I will.- I'll see you next week, yeah?
0:27:10 > 0:27:11See you later, Miche.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Did you hear that?
0:27:17 > 0:27:18She said I'd done enough.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Oh...see you fuckers in a bit!
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Daddy got home safe, little Robin. Sweet dreams.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Kevin?
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Have you got any idea
0:27:32 > 0:27:37why there is four grand stuffed into Robin's baby bag?
0:27:38 > 0:27:40- Look at that! - I'll give it back to him tomorrow.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Yeah, please do.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Steve thinks it's Robin's money.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48I might take a score, just for a rainy day.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- For Robin.- For Robin, yeah.
0:27:51 > 0:27:52Yeah, go on, then.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Yeah, get one for me, too, for Robin.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59There you go, mate.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Make sure you give it back to him tomorrow, yeah?