0:00:05 > 0:00:11'Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court.
0:00:14 > 0:00:20'You are an habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard.
0:00:20 > 0:00:25'Presumably, you accept imprisonment in the same manner.
0:00:25 > 0:00:32'I feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term for these offences.
0:00:32 > 0:00:36'You will go to prison for five years.'
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- Er...Fletch?- I'm thinking. Naff off.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Thinking?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Yeah, thinking.
0:00:56 > 0:01:01I realise that to you and some of the blokes that's an alien pastime,
0:01:01 > 0:01:06but those of us who were endowed with a bit of grey matter,
0:01:06 > 0:01:10preserve our identity and sanity by thinking.
0:01:10 > 0:01:17- But WHAT are you thinking? - I'm thinking, "Why don't this bloke Warren naff off and leave me alone?"
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Look, Fletch, I realise you're a man of...
0:01:22 > 0:01:26- Intellect?- Intellect! Yeah. - And erudition?
0:01:26 > 0:01:29If you say so. That's why I wanted a word.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32- I got this letter, see?- Oh, yeah.
0:01:34 > 0:01:40- From a woman, I'd say.- How can you tell?- The handwriting. It's...
0:01:59 > 0:02:02It's the female handwriting.
0:02:02 > 0:02:08Judging by the perfume, I'd say it was a woman of little sophistication or class.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11That's right. It's from the wife.
0:02:11 > 0:02:18- Sorry. I didn't mean to infer... - You're clever. That's why I wanted your help.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I see! Advice, is it? Advice to the lovelorn?
0:02:21 > 0:02:26You want me to assess the situation and compose an appropriate response?
0:02:26 > 0:02:31It's simpler than that. I just wanted you to read it to me.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36This letter of Warren's is typical.
0:02:36 > 0:02:42It's a classic wives' letter when you've been inside between 8 to 12 months.
0:02:42 > 0:02:50- They make these marital vows but you've got to be around to ensure they do love, honour and obey.- Yeah.
0:02:50 > 0:02:58You see, they get these restless urges and, chances are, they weaken and get a bit naughty.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02- I'll kill her! I'll throttle her! - Yes. That is one method.
0:03:02 > 0:03:07But we are looking for something a bit more constructive.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- Besides, you're locked up. - It's visiting day next week.
0:03:11 > 0:03:17But if you killed her on visiting day, you'd lose half your remission.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20I'm just saying. He's impulsive. I'm just saying!
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Leave off, Warren. Fletch knows.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28- Thank you, Tolly. Now, where was I? - Getting to the naughty bit.- Oh, yes.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Having got naughty, they get guilty.
0:03:31 > 0:03:37In my reply I've sought to achieve subtlety with strength, see?
0:03:37 > 0:03:42An outward display of affection, but carrying a hint of menace.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47"My darling, I realise these are difficult times for you.
0:03:47 > 0:03:54"You are women without men, with all your attendant frustrations..." Nice phrase, that.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- Well chosen. - I got it out of Reader's Digest.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02"I realise it is a lot to ask to ask you to wait for me,
0:04:02 > 0:04:10"but I will be upset, dearest one, if I hear about you having a nibble of something as how you shouldn't.
0:04:10 > 0:04:15"I have friends on the outside, who have friends, who have friends,
0:04:15 > 0:04:20"so any hanky-panky will receive swift and merciless retribution..."
0:04:20 > 0:04:25"I hope the weather is fine and you are feeling well in yourself..."
0:04:25 > 0:04:30Subtlety with strength. I told you, Fletch knows.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33My wife's sister lives in Sidcup.
0:04:35 > 0:04:41Sometimes we stay there or drop in for a cuppa after going to the coast.
0:04:41 > 0:04:49Anyhow, once when we was there, and while my wife was upstairs powdering her nose -
0:04:49 > 0:04:54prior to going to see Paint Your Wagon by the Sidcup Operatic...
0:04:56 > 0:04:59..her sister touched me.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Where? Where?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- In the kitchen.- In the kitchen!
0:05:08 > 0:05:14She got very heated. Had me pressed up against the Aga.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19I should think YOUR Aga got a bit heated an' all, didn't it?
0:05:19 > 0:05:26She was saying how she always fancied me, she knew it was wrong - being the wife's sister -
0:05:26 > 0:05:31but she could not no longer control her true feelings.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I said, "Now listen, Gwendolyn..."
0:05:34 > 0:05:37That's her name, see, Gwendolyn.
0:05:37 > 0:05:46"Listen, Gwendolyn, this is no way to behave. It's not right or decent and it must never happen again."
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Nothing happened.- She got a lecture.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53No, that wasn't until an hour after,
0:05:53 > 0:05:56when we was getting out of bed!
0:05:58 > 0:06:04What point are you trying to raise, Einstein? He's in a different timescale!
0:06:04 > 0:06:08His head's about 20 minutes slow!
0:06:08 > 0:06:15Copy out these letters in your own handwriting and send them off so they read them before visiting day.
0:06:15 > 0:06:20Put the name of your loved one at the top like "My beloved Iris".
0:06:20 > 0:06:24"Darling Norma..." "Dearest Trevor."
0:06:28 > 0:06:34I've no evidence that my Iris has strayed from the straight and narrow.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Haven't you? Well, send it anyway.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42- A stitch in time saves a hole in your trousers.- I'll post it.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- No point in leaving it late. - BELL
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Oi, oi, oi! Haven't we forgotten something?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Fair's fair. Cough up, lads.
0:06:53 > 0:06:59- You've got no problems on this score, Fletch? Marriage?- Nah.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I've been married longer than you blokes.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Oh, dear.
0:07:06 > 0:07:12- Doesn't she get upset, you going inside all the time?- I don't!
0:07:12 > 0:07:19You are consistent. She's got a house and three kids. I don't know how she does it.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21It's a bit hard for her at times.
0:07:21 > 0:07:27She had to build a new coal bunker recently. That's no job for a woman.
0:07:27 > 0:07:33- She had to mix the cement?- No, her mother came over and did that.
0:07:33 > 0:07:39Come on, lads. Come on, lads. Get yourselves off. Good night.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43Fletcher, I trust you've employed your time usefully tonight.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Just giving the lads the benefit of my experience.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52I've heard your opinion is sought after in this prison.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56The Welfare Officer says he's running out of customers.
0:07:56 > 0:08:03Welfare Officers are a bit like the padre really... they can't be trusted.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08I think you're being a bit harsh on a well-meaning body of people.
0:08:08 > 0:08:16They are well-meaning, but the lads bring me their problems cos I speak their language.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19How are things with your old lady?
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Oh, well... Difficult.
0:08:22 > 0:08:28They've been better since we had that chat, but they could be easier.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31She's not easy to live with.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34No. So a lot of people have told me.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Is it still the postman?
0:08:38 > 0:08:43God forbid! He's in the sorting office in Carlisle now.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45They sorted him out then, eh?
0:08:45 > 0:08:51- Sorted him out!- Pardon?- Sorry. I mustn't joke at your expense.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I'm afraid I must ask you to...
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Yes. Time I went.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01You know, Fletcher. This is the part of the job I hate -
0:09:01 > 0:09:04locking men up, caging them in.
0:09:04 > 0:09:09Yeah, it is a pity. Just when the good telly's starting.
0:09:09 > 0:09:15All we see is Nationwide. What's the use of that when you're in here?
0:09:15 > 0:09:19I've never got used to bolting these doors, you know.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23I think of you locked in these little cells...
0:09:23 > 0:09:30..and I think of me going out of here and going home to my little house...
0:09:30 > 0:09:33..and my wife, who's waiting for me.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42What's the matter, Mr Barrowclough?
0:09:42 > 0:09:46I sometimes wish I was in here with you lot!
0:09:49 > 0:09:53MACKAY: Come on, Johnson. Get a move on!
0:09:53 > 0:09:59Spencer, get your hair cut. Did you hear that? Get your hair cut today!
0:09:59 > 0:10:03- Fletch.- Hello, Warren. - Will you do the honours?
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- Read it out to you?- Yeah. - From the wife, is it?
0:10:07 > 0:10:12- Yeah. I'd know her perfume anywhere. - Yeah. It's very distinctive.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16I should think this kills 99% of household germs!
0:10:16 > 0:10:23- Shall I tell her to change it? - No. You're safe from other men while she wears that!
0:10:23 > 0:10:27- Ready?- Yeah. - "My dearest Bunny..." Bunny?
0:10:27 > 0:10:33- Bunny Warren.- Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's good, isn't it? Bunny Warren.
0:10:33 > 0:10:40"Thanks for your letter, but you must put these silly doubts out of your mind.
0:10:40 > 0:10:47"I spend nights watching the box on which is placed your picture which I cut out of the Manchester News.
0:10:47 > 0:10:54"It is the one of you resisting arrest, but I have cut off the two policemen.
0:10:54 > 0:10:59"I left the Alsatian on as I know how fond you are of animals.
0:11:02 > 0:11:10"I did go out on Sunday, but only to see your mother who had to go into Salford again with her feet."
0:11:10 > 0:11:18- How does she usually go in? On her hands and knees?- She means she's had to go back to the chiropodist.
0:11:18 > 0:11:23- She's always had these feet, you see. - Has she? The same ones, you mean?
0:11:23 > 0:11:28"I am coming up on visiting day to put your mind at rest.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31"I'll get Saturday morning off.
0:11:31 > 0:11:37"I miss you and think of you when you were at home and you used to take my..."
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Used to what?
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Well, it's a bit personal, the next bit, know what I mean.
0:11:44 > 0:11:49I don't think I should read it out loud in front of me.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52It's sort of...
0:11:53 > 0:11:58- What does she say?- It's intimate. You read it... Oh, you can't read.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01How can I say it...?
0:12:01 > 0:12:05The gist of it is...she misses your, er...
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Er... No, no...
0:12:08 > 0:12:11No, put it another way...
0:12:11 > 0:12:14..which you obviously did!
0:12:14 > 0:12:19What she's saying is she wishes that you were at home providing...
0:12:19 > 0:12:21..for her.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Oh. Oh, good. Anything else?
0:12:24 > 0:12:28Anything else would be a bit of an anti-climax!
0:12:28 > 0:12:35All she says is, "I wish you were here. I must close now and get on my lover..."
0:12:35 > 0:12:39No. "I must close now and get on, my lover!
0:12:41 > 0:12:44"See you Saturday, Elaine."
0:12:44 > 0:12:48She's a good girl, my Elaine. No problems there, eh?
0:12:48 > 0:12:52That's a very nice letter. It's very heartfelt.
0:12:52 > 0:12:58- She's coming on Saturday? - Yeah. So is Hislop's missus. And Tolly's wife.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02- Is your old lady coming? - Yes, she'll be here.
0:13:02 > 0:13:07- Have you had a letter?- No, I ain't, actually. But she'll be here.
0:13:07 > 0:13:15- I think Lukewarm's fella's coming up as well.- Is he? Lukewarm's got a different problem from you lot.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20It's his Trevor who's insecure... There's 600 men in this prison!
0:13:20 > 0:13:28You worry about what your wives are up to on the outside, he's worried about what Lukewarm's up to inside!
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Morning, Mr Mackay. Thanks again, mate. See you.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38Thanks? What was all that about?
0:13:38 > 0:13:42That was a bit of friendly advice, Mr Mackay.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46On matters of the heart. Between him and me.
0:13:46 > 0:13:52Is it true that this is the office of Slade Prison's Miss Lonelyhearts?
0:13:52 > 0:13:56- Is that why you're here then? - I have no problems of that nature!
0:13:56 > 0:14:03Come on, Mr Mackay. All screws, er...prison officers have problems in that area.
0:14:03 > 0:14:10We're similar. Neither of us can be sure what our wives are getting up to. No difference.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13There is a major difference.
0:14:13 > 0:14:21YOUR wives are criminals' wives. They belong to the criminal class with its trait of promiscuity.
0:14:21 > 0:14:29OUR wives are wives of uniformed men, used to a life of service and duty, decency and moral fibre.
0:14:29 > 0:14:35- My house... My house reflects my wife.- Big, is it?- Spotless.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45When I get home my uniform has been cleaned and pressed -
0:14:45 > 0:14:50buttons gleaming, trousers with sharp creases.
0:14:50 > 0:14:56That just proves your old lady's having it away with a dry cleaner!
0:14:56 > 0:15:04I won't rise to your bait. It's obvious that your cynicism derives from bitter personal experience.
0:15:04 > 0:15:09Nothing wrong with my marriage. Me and my missus get on very well.
0:15:09 > 0:15:16- You've spent half your life in prison!- Perhaps absence makes the heart grow fonder.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21I reckon your old lady would like a rest from cleaning and pressing.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25My wife has no desire other than to be by my side.
0:15:25 > 0:15:33Before Prison Service, I was in the army. I was a drill sergeant in the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37I'd never have guessed(!)
0:15:37 > 0:15:43I was posted to far-flung places, but Marie would always be with me.
0:15:43 > 0:15:4617 years of domestic contentment.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Drill sergeant, was it?
0:15:49 > 0:15:53That's right, Fletcher. Drill sergeant.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Do everything by numbers, do you?
0:16:00 > 0:16:07I refuse to rise to your bait, Fletcher, and it's naive of you to assume that I would.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Was it numbers with your old lady?
0:16:11 > 0:16:18- IMITATING MACKAY: - Marie, I'm about to make passionate love to you. Stand by your bed!
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Wait for it! Knickers down, two three!
0:16:34 > 0:16:37This place couldn't be much further!
0:16:37 > 0:16:43I had to be at Euston by 8am and there was no buffet on the train.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48There never is. Or only yesterday's sausage rolls.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52It's taken me all morning to get here from Bolton.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55I changed at Manchester and Carlisle.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Before, it was only a bus ride.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00It's us that suffer, chuck.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05No money, a family, and no man about the house.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08He thinks I HAVE got a man about the house.
0:17:08 > 0:17:13I've had to come all the way from Kent. I got a letter.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17- Me too. - What a nerve. Listen to this.
0:17:17 > 0:17:22"I realise, my love, it is a lot to ask to ask you to wait for me.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27"But I will be upset if you have a nibble of something you shouldn't."
0:17:27 > 0:17:32'Ere, look at this. It's the same!
0:17:32 > 0:17:35The cheeky devils!
0:17:53 > 0:17:56HORN TOOTS
0:18:00 > 0:18:06ALL SHOUT TOGETHER There she is! I can see her!
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Don't you want a look, Fletch?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12I'll see her soon. I know what she looks like.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Shut up. Let's have some order. Sit down.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20It did the trick. Kent's a long way.
0:18:20 > 0:18:25Trevor's come from Southport. He's a watch repairer.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29- I did a watch repairers once. - Now you're doing TIME for it!
0:18:29 > 0:18:36- Did you get that, Mr Barrowclough? - Very funny. It's nice to see you in high spirits.
0:18:36 > 0:18:41- I can smell Elaine's perfume.- That's the sheep dip from the prison farm!
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Hello, darling!
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Ingrid!
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Hello, Dad.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Where's your mother?
0:19:02 > 0:19:05I said, "Where's your mother?"
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- She couldn't come, Dad.- Is she ill?
0:19:08 > 0:19:10No. She...
0:19:12 > 0:19:15She what?
0:19:15 > 0:19:18She's...found another man, Dad.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Morose, you say, Mr Barrowclough?
0:19:29 > 0:19:33Yes, sir. Here's the Welfare Officer's report.
0:19:33 > 0:19:39He feels that psychologically Fletcher is compensating for the trauma...
0:19:39 > 0:19:44Don't spout university claptrap at me! What does young Gillespie know?
0:19:44 > 0:19:48These lads come here with no experience.
0:19:48 > 0:19:54Not two minutes ago they were in rag parades throwing bags of flour at old ladies!
0:19:54 > 0:20:01Sir, I think you're being a bit harsh on a very well-meaning body of men.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Gillespie has worked in the field.
0:20:03 > 0:20:08In Welwyn Garden City! Hardly a walk on the wild side!
0:20:08 > 0:20:11What do you want? Compassionate parole?
0:20:11 > 0:20:20- Just 48 hours, so he can sort his problems out. He's been married 24 years.- All right. Wheel him in.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Fletcher.
0:20:25 > 0:20:32Fletcher, you've had this domestic, er... Would "crisis" be too strong a word?
0:20:32 > 0:20:37- My wife's gone. Crisis is a good word.- She hasn't left yet.- She will.
0:20:37 > 0:20:42- What about the other man? - He's a heating engineer.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47We were having central heating put in, so he was around a lot...
0:20:47 > 0:20:54Younger man, bit of patter, new Ford Capri - mustard-yellow, with wing mirrors.
0:20:54 > 0:21:00- Younger man, eh? - Yeah, with wing mirrors - bound to turn a woman's head.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03It's not just infatuation?
0:21:03 > 0:21:10Not according to my eldest, Ingrid. They're planning a new life in Hemel Hempstead.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15I pass Hemel Hempstead on the train. It looks quite nice there.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24The Welfare Officer thinks compassionate parole might help.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27You mean "get out", like?
0:21:27 > 0:21:32- Not so much "get out" as "go out". - Oh.- 48 hours only.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36Report to the police, but then the weekend is yours.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40- I'd get a decent Sunday lunch! - If that's your attitude...
0:21:40 > 0:21:45I'm sorry, sir. My flippancy was just masking my deep wounds.
0:21:45 > 0:21:52If you think I should go for the sake of my marriage, and you're trusting me...
0:21:52 > 0:21:56I wonder if Spurs are playing at home?
0:21:56 > 0:22:01You know where I live. You don't have to walk me home!
0:22:01 > 0:22:04I don't mind. A breath of fresh air.
0:22:04 > 0:22:10I'm seeing my old lady about personal matters. That's why I'm on parole.
0:22:10 > 0:22:15That's what concerns me. I want you to greet your wife in a kind manner.
0:22:15 > 0:22:22- I don't want you forcing her head through the mangle! - We haven't got a mangle!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27We've got a washing machine though!
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- Hello, Dad.- Hello, Ingrid.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- Is your mother in there?- Yeah.
0:22:35 > 0:22:42- You know Sergeant Norris, don't you? - I met him in court. - I shan't stay a minute.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Isobel.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Norman.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53I got this compassionate parole, see?
0:22:53 > 0:22:56- So they told us.- Yeah, well...
0:22:56 > 0:23:01You don't need to stay, Sergeant. I thought...
0:23:01 > 0:23:06There's no worries there, so if you'll excuse us...
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Go on, Sarge. Leave us alone, eh?
0:23:08 > 0:23:13I hope everything, er... Well, you know what I mean.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20DOOR SLAMS
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Hello, Norman.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Hello, darling.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- It worked then!- Like a flaming charm!
0:23:31 > 0:23:36- It worked in Maidstone, I knew it would again!- Like a flaming charm!
0:23:36 > 0:23:39"She's found another man, Dad"!
0:23:41 > 0:23:47- Go and fetch your dad's slippers. - Don't hurry, we've got a lot to make up.
0:23:47 > 0:23:54- It's like when I was a kid! Give us some money, I'll go to the pictures.- Good idea.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Hang on, that's how your little brother was born!
0:24:10 > 0:24:13You'll have to move, love.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17It won't take long to get to Euston on a Sunday.
0:24:17 > 0:24:25I've got you apples, bananas and tangerines. What a price! But fruit's good for your complexion.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29You'll have to get shaved. Norris will be here soon.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32I suppose so.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Oh, it's been lovely having you, Norman.
0:24:37 > 0:24:44It's done me a power of good, I can tell you. Seeing the kids and everything.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Colour telly, home cooking, Spurs winning at home.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Soft lavatory paper.
0:24:55 > 0:25:00It's all here when you come out. Just bide your time.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04I'm not going back inside after this stretch.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- You've said that before! - I mean it this time.
0:25:08 > 0:25:16There's a load of kids in there. Talk about a generation gap. I'm a bleeding father figure!
0:25:16 > 0:25:19My life's been a mug's game really.
0:25:19 > 0:25:26Seeing you and seeing the kids this weekend...realising I'm missing them growing up...
0:25:26 > 0:25:30All the things this weekend's given me.
0:25:30 > 0:25:36The best things in life ain't free, but the best thing in life is being free.
0:25:36 > 0:25:42Oh, Norman, you say such lovely things. What made you think of that?
0:25:42 > 0:25:46Randolph Scott said it before you came in!
0:25:49 > 0:25:51HORN TOOTS
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Are you all right, Fletch?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11What?
0:26:11 > 0:26:16Me and the lads just wanted to say how sorry we are.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Sorry, Fletch. Sorry, Fletch.
0:26:19 > 0:26:28I know we laughed, but the fact that you're not so clever after all just makes you human, like us.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Oh, yeah?
0:26:30 > 0:26:36Let me ask you something, Bunny. What did you do this weekend?
0:26:36 > 0:26:40- What?- You did exactly the same as last weekend.
0:26:40 > 0:26:47You had a cold shower, cleaned your shoes, washed your vest, had your dinner, had another cold shower,
0:26:47 > 0:26:51and lay on your bunk picking your nose.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Some of us was in the pub,
0:26:54 > 0:26:57or eating roast beef,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59or watching Spurs win at home,
0:26:59 > 0:27:04or having a sing-song with friends and relatives.
0:27:06 > 0:27:11Or lying in a big crisp bed with their big crisp old lady.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Have a banana.
0:27:17 > 0:27:23MACKAY: Let's be having you! Back to your cells.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Hurry along, Warren.
0:27:27 > 0:27:34I can see a difference in Fletcher. I think being sent home has made him realise what he's missing.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38He realises he's been in a mug's game.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42He's had the cockiness knocked out of him.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45We've seen the last of his lairy insolence.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49You can't beat the system, Mr Barrowclough.
0:27:54 > 0:27:55Sorry.