Pardon Me

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0:00:00 > 0:00:02SLAM!

0:00:02 > 0:00:05'Norman Stanley Fletcher...

0:00:05 > 0:00:14'You have pleaded guilty to the charges brought and it is now my duty to pass sentence...

0:00:14 > 0:00:22'You are a habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard,

0:00:22 > 0:00:28'and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same, casual manner.

0:00:28 > 0:00:33'We therefore commit you to the maximum term allowed.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36'You will go to prison for 5 years.'

0:00:49 > 0:00:54Er...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...8.

0:00:57 > 0:01:02Huh! Would you Adam-and-Eve-it... "Go to jail!"

0:01:04 > 0:01:08"Move directly to jail. Do not pass Go..."

0:01:08 > 0:01:12- Just get on wiv it! - All right... All right!

0:01:12 > 0:01:17I know every card. I've been playing for donkey's years.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20You don't have to get so grumpy!

0:01:20 > 0:01:24- My go.- Three and four's seven.

0:01:24 > 0:01:31All right...I can count! I may be old but I've got all my facilities, haven't I?

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Four, five, six, seven...

0:01:34 > 0:01:40Oh, I've knocked a hotel off! Reach me it, will you, Fletch?

0:01:40 > 0:01:44Come off it, Blanco! I know that ploy of old.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Ploy...!?

0:01:46 > 0:01:53While I'm down here picking up your hotel, you help yourself. I lose Trafalgar and Fenchurch St!

0:01:53 > 0:01:59That's a lie! I'm not like you lot. You take cheating as a way of life.

0:01:59 > 0:02:04I've got an older man's sense of values.

0:02:04 > 0:02:11- If you don't care about my sciatic nerve, I'll get the hotel meself! - I'm sorry. Listen...

0:02:11 > 0:02:18Honestly, I'm sorry. We're all so corrupt, we forget about the odd honest soul.

0:02:18 > 0:02:23- That's right. You do. - I'll get it for you.- Thank you.

0:02:27 > 0:02:32- I can't see it anywhere.- It doesn't matter, Fletch. I'll get it.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34All right, then.

0:02:36 > 0:02:43- No more talk about cheating. Let's get on with the game. - Right.- Right.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Now, then...

0:02:45 > 0:02:53- My go.- Yes.- Oh, I should be in jail!- That's right.- I've got to stay cos I've an odd number.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55- Your go.- My go.

0:02:55 > 0:02:59- You want 7 to land on my hotel. - Oh, no...

0:02:59 > 0:03:03Ten! I'll miss you! I'll miss you!

0:03:03 > 0:03:12- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! - Don't have a heart attack. Get your Chance card.- Right!

0:03:12 > 0:03:17- What's Barrowclough doing? - Looking for criminals(!)- Yes.

0:03:17 > 0:03:25- He wants to look down here. No, no - that's your Raquel Welch - your Community Chest.- Oh.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29- "Go back three spaces."- Oh, yes?

0:03:30 > 0:03:36- Here we go... One, two, three... Oh, no...!!- Oh, dear, dear...(!)

0:03:36 > 0:03:43- STILL playing?- They could make the Guinness book of records. - It's stalemate.

0:03:43 > 0:03:50- Double 7. I'm out. - Come on. It's lock-up in five minutes.

0:03:50 > 0:03:55Other people want to use the board. You two "monopolise" the game(!)

0:03:55 > 0:03:57"Monopolise." Get it?

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Very witty, Godber.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Pretty sharp.- Quick as a flash.

0:04:03 > 0:04:09- What's brown, lives in the sea and attacks young mermaids? - No idea.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Jack the Kipper(!)

0:04:12 > 0:04:17- Do you hear all this?- Aye. - Palace of bleedin' varieties!

0:04:18 > 0:04:21"Jack the Kipper..."?

0:04:21 > 0:04:25He's away to work it out. You shout them out.

0:04:25 > 0:04:32Come on. You promised you'd wash your shirt to look presentable for the Parole Board.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35In a minute!

0:04:35 > 0:04:39Silly to jeapordise it for water and soap!

0:04:39 > 0:04:43- All right. 'Ere... I've two of those. - All right.

0:04:43 > 0:04:48I'll come in a minute. I'll make the tea. I have your mug.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51He nags worse than my daughter!

0:04:51 > 0:04:54I thought he WAS your daughter.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57He keeps the cell nice and clean.

0:04:57 > 0:05:01Anyway, don't worry. You'll be off out soon, won't ya?

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Nothing's definite.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06It's a mere formality, that.

0:05:06 > 0:05:11Even Mr Barrowclough will bet on it and you know what HE'S like.

0:05:11 > 0:05:17- What's that? - Just saying you're loath to commit yourself, Mr Barrowclough.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20You like to hedge your bets, don't you?

0:05:20 > 0:05:24I'm as positive as the next man!

0:05:24 > 0:05:29Then you'd say it was a formality going out on parole?

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Er...one has to consider both sides.

0:05:33 > 0:05:37- Are you sure you're not sure(?) - Positive!

0:05:38 > 0:05:43- Huh!- He should've been out years ago.

0:05:43 > 0:05:51- You're on your way. Harry Grout's giving odds.- Don't bank on it. I know disappointment.

0:05:51 > 0:05:57You know YOUR trouble? You always protested your innocence.

0:05:57 > 0:06:03It's better to be guilty but ashamed rather than innocent but defiant.

0:06:03 > 0:06:11- You've gotta show 'em HOW you've reformed.- Yeah. That you're NOT a despicable nerk.

0:06:11 > 0:06:18Parole's a doddle for junkies, alcoholics and them in women's clothes.

0:06:18 > 0:06:26What's my chances with a lapse into petty crime, but from a good home and with an "O" level in Geography?

0:06:26 > 0:06:31You'd best get yourself a cocktail frock with matching handbag(!)

0:06:31 > 0:06:36In other words, naff all, mate! Naff all!

0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Fletch...- Yeah?

0:06:49 > 0:06:53Do you think Blanco's a cert for parole?

0:06:53 > 0:06:56Course! Need the beds, don't they?

0:06:57 > 0:07:00What was he originally sent up for?

0:07:00 > 0:07:07Now, now. You can't ask that. It's not what people WAS, it's what they ARE!

0:07:07 > 0:07:12Nothing you could say would set me against him.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14He's one of the nicest blokes here.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17He done his wife.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20What!?

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Done her in.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25Locked her in a deep-freeze.

0:07:26 > 0:07:31And we knock around with that despicable old scroat!

0:07:31 > 0:07:34That's why you don't ask!

0:07:35 > 0:07:39Oh, yeah... I'm sorry - irrational outburst.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42- Anyway, it was long ago.- I see...

0:07:42 > 0:07:47It's all right to refrigerate your old lady if it was in 1959(?)

0:07:47 > 0:07:50He's had time to repent, like.

0:07:50 > 0:07:55His point is, he never did it in the first place.

0:07:55 > 0:08:00- He reckons his wife had a lover who killed her.- WAS it him?

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Possible. The lover disappeared a bit smartish.

0:08:07 > 0:08:12That was a long time ago. Too long to find out.

0:08:12 > 0:08:19A wife can't testify against her husband so modern science is no use.

0:08:19 > 0:08:23What do you mean?

0:08:23 > 0:08:28There's no point in defrosting her and asking her what happened.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Here...- Where?

0:08:37 > 0:08:42- I know summat you don't.- That'll be the day.- 13 across for a start!

0:08:42 > 0:08:47- Don't, Godber. It's bad manners, that is.- Anyhow, it's 'Rook'.

0:08:47 > 0:08:52"Type of bird...." R...blank...blank...k. Rook.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55Not necessarily.

0:08:55 > 0:09:00- R...blank...blank...k. What else could it be?- It could be 'Rilk.'

0:09:03 > 0:09:05'Rilk'(?)

0:09:05 > 0:09:09'Rilk.' 'Rilk.'! R...blank...blank...k. 'Rilk.'!

0:09:10 > 0:09:13There's no such bird!

0:09:13 > 0:09:17You're wrong! You're not as smart as you thought you was.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20What's a flaming 'Rilk' then?

0:09:23 > 0:09:30A 'Rilk' is a migratory bird from the North Baltic shores of Finland.

0:09:30 > 0:09:38It's main distinguishing feature is that it flies backwards to keep the sh... snow out of its eyes.

0:09:39 > 0:09:43Go on. Ask me another, Bamber(!)

0:09:44 > 0:09:49- I bet it's 'Rook'.- It's not 'Rook'. It's too obvious.

0:09:49 > 0:09:55Look, 'R-i-l-k'. I've put it in. What's the other bit of information you have?

0:09:55 > 0:10:04- The parole results.- And...?- Gibson, in for car theft is turned down, but Brown in for manslaughter's OK.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08- It reflects modern standards. - How d'you mean?

0:10:08 > 0:10:14Well, it takes one minute to create a life and ten to make a car.

0:10:14 > 0:10:19And about five for it to fall to bits again, an' all!

0:10:19 > 0:10:23Oh, look, here they come - Nat Mills and Bobbie!

0:10:23 > 0:10:28- He did it this time!- You worked your parole?- Sailed through it!

0:10:28 > 0:10:33- It was a doddle! - The shirt did it!- Come in.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Come and sit down, granddad.

0:10:35 > 0:10:40- We're very pleased for you.- Yeah! - Surprise, surprise!

0:10:40 > 0:10:45The old Max Jaffa cakes! Look at them!

0:10:45 > 0:10:48You'll notice a few changes since 1959.

0:10:48 > 0:10:54I sold a hot car in 1959. Zodiac, it was. Two-tone with wing mirrors.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Took the wife to Butlins.

0:10:56 > 0:11:01I were in Junior School. Sat with Ann Podmore. She were left-handed.

0:11:04 > 0:11:09Fascinating(!) I bet he got on the right side of her!

0:11:11 > 0:11:17I remember 1959 as the year I were put away for something I didn't do.

0:11:17 > 0:11:21Here, here... Come on. Don't get all gloomy.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24We're all festive for the occasion.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26Oh, aye.

0:11:26 > 0:11:32- Now you're going out, you can tell your mates... Were you innocent? - I WAS!

0:11:32 > 0:11:37You'd like to think I'd screwed the System all this time.

0:11:37 > 0:11:43The truth is, the System's screwed ME for 17 years! So I've decided...

0:11:43 > 0:11:46- Decided...?- Aye.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50All these years I've been claiming me innocence...

0:11:50 > 0:11:55If I accept parole I'm admitting my guilt.

0:11:56 > 0:12:02No, no, no. Parole means it wipes the slate clean.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05- You're free and clear. - It's NOT a pardon!

0:12:06 > 0:12:14It says you've done what they put you in for. It's NOT good enough. It says "Don't be a bad lad again"!

0:12:14 > 0:12:20I were never a bad lad in the first place, so they can take their parole and shove it!

0:12:39 > 0:12:45- You haven't, have you?- I have. - Told 'em to stuff it?- Aye.

0:12:46 > 0:12:51- What did the Governor say? - Put the wind up his clappers!

0:12:53 > 0:12:56You could be on the streets - free!

0:12:57 > 0:13:01Queueing up at the Labour Exchange.

0:13:01 > 0:13:05Standing in the rain waiting for a bus.

0:13:05 > 0:13:12I've waited long enough. A bit longer won't make no difference. Fetch me that scraper.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19Your rhubarb's coming on.

0:13:19 > 0:13:23You can't wait to get your hands on my rhubarb!

0:13:23 > 0:13:28- You thought you'd get it in lieu of me monopoly debts.- Don't be daft!

0:13:28 > 0:13:35- AND me strawberries! It's MY allotment.- We'd look after it till you come back in.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40I reckon you would.

0:13:42 > 0:13:49Just like life, prison. You make plans and do naff all about it. Look at this place.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53I was gonna do so much... Caulies and spring onions...

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Nice runner beans.

0:13:56 > 0:14:02Raspberries and maybe a few goosegogs. Never got round to it!

0:14:02 > 0:14:07- Didn't one Governor let you grow grapes?- That were over there.

0:14:07 > 0:14:14I'd read all about vines and I KNEW I could grow grapes in this neck of the woods.

0:14:14 > 0:14:22And I did an' all. Oh, it were bloody marvellous seeing those big, ripe beauties.

0:14:22 > 0:14:27- They made me pack it in in the end. - Why?- Grapes make wine, don't they?

0:14:27 > 0:14:33Do they really(?) I always use potato peelings and anti-freeze(!)

0:14:34 > 0:14:39They didn't tumble. Not till we'd put down about a dozen bottles.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43- Nice drop, was it?- I don't suppose it were a classic.

0:14:43 > 0:14:51But to a man who hadn't had a drink for eleven years, Chateau Slade was the finest drop...!

0:14:51 > 0:14:57- You could be outside now supping champagne.- I've got my pride!

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Freedom's pride.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03I want BOTH, Fletcher!

0:15:06 > 0:15:11Yes. Well, we'll have to see what we can do.

0:15:19 > 0:15:24What's this? Saturday, and you lot stuck inside!

0:15:24 > 0:15:27- CROW, sir. - Pardon?

0:15:27 > 0:15:30It's the Campaign Headquarters for CROW, sir.

0:15:30 > 0:15:36- What's that?- Campaign for the Release of Old Webb, sir - that's Blanco, sir.

0:15:36 > 0:15:44We were going to call it Campaign for the Release and Pardon of Old Webb, but it's C-R-A-P-O-W!

0:15:44 > 0:15:49- We thought that too rude for the Home Office.- The Home Office!?

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Eventually, but first the Governor.

0:15:52 > 0:15:58- Blanco don't want to go out free and guilty, but free and innocent. - That's what CROW's for.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01- We've 300 signatures. - What is it FOR?

0:16:01 > 0:16:07- Well...- I'll tell him. There are two ways to spring the old man... a retrial...

0:16:07 > 0:16:14After all this time!? The judge, jury and witnesses will be dead by now!

0:16:14 > 0:16:17That MIGHT help! Know what I mean?

0:16:17 > 0:16:22Or the Governor could ask the Home Office for a pardon.

0:16:22 > 0:16:29Under Sub-section 23, Paragraph D, Part 3 of the Penal Code as amended in 1972.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32- Really?- Oh, it's well-known.

0:16:32 > 0:16:36But WE are going for a retrial, hence the petition.

0:16:36 > 0:16:41- Fletch... I've 63 signatures from the mailbag room.- Give it here!

0:16:41 > 0:16:49Just a minute... Sixty-three!? There's not above forty fellows work there!

0:16:49 > 0:16:52Shows the strength of their feelings!

0:16:52 > 0:16:55There's twenty-three X's here!

0:16:55 > 0:17:00Yeah, there's a lot of fellas can't write.

0:17:00 > 0:17:06- Are they genuine? - Of course they are - they're all in different handwriting!

0:17:06 > 0:17:13There's one bloke spelled 'X' with a 'Y'. I'll cross him off.

0:17:13 > 0:17:19It's a very praiseworthy effort, but I fear the Governor's attitude.

0:17:19 > 0:17:23He has built-in resistance to ideas from YOU lot!

0:17:23 > 0:17:31You could maybe help us, Mr Barrowclough - lend weight to our pitch.

0:17:31 > 0:17:34- Give us credibility. - How?

0:17:34 > 0:17:37Well, you're a humanitarian, aren't you?

0:17:37 > 0:17:41- You play fair. - Always.- See our point of view.

0:17:41 > 0:17:48You brought reason and compassion into a world where violence prevailed.

0:17:48 > 0:17:53I've always considered you as here to be helped rather than punished.

0:17:53 > 0:17:58- Yes.- Yes.- Quite right! - I've always tried to understand.

0:17:58 > 0:18:04I respect your rights and if you have a just cause, I'll back it up.

0:18:04 > 0:18:09- I never doubted it, sir. Just append your moniker. - Er...what?

0:18:09 > 0:18:13- It's a just cause.- Use my pen.

0:18:13 > 0:18:19- That's MY pen!- There's no time for that. Mr Barrowclough... - No blinking fear!

0:18:19 > 0:18:26I'm up for promotion. I won't jeopardise that by joining a conspiracy!

0:18:26 > 0:18:29Well, I never...!

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Hardly the humanitarian we thought!

0:18:32 > 0:18:34He's brainier than we thought.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38Pity. Other screws might follow.

0:18:38 > 0:18:44- Yeah. Well, no bother then... 'H. J. Barrowclough...'- Hey!

0:18:44 > 0:18:52- Can you forge his signature? - How do you think we got them ping-pong balls?

0:18:52 > 0:19:00- You'll be for it if they trace it to you!- They're more likely to trace it to you - it's your pen!

0:19:01 > 0:19:09- It's trouble with a capital T. It must be stamped out NOW. - All right, Mr Mackay. Bring them in.

0:19:09 > 0:19:17- Mr Barrowclough... - All right, lads... Left, right, left. Halt when you're there.

0:19:17 > 0:19:21STAND STILL IN FRONT OF THE GOVERNOR!

0:19:21 > 0:19:23STAND STILL!

0:19:23 > 0:19:26Er...the petitioners, sir.

0:19:26 > 0:19:31I'm not in favour of prisoners' pressure groups.

0:19:31 > 0:19:36They have that right under Sub-section 13 which states that...

0:19:36 > 0:19:39Don't spout the Penal Code at me!

0:19:39 > 0:19:46We appreciate your seeing us, sir. There is the petition for the retrial of Old Man Blanco.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50Do we have this many men in here?

0:19:50 > 0:19:58It's an expression of feeling inside Slade prison and a tribute to your enlightened administration.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00Is it?

0:20:01 > 0:20:10Oh, yes! All them felons putting names down. They'd have torn a less enlightened place apart, sir.

0:20:10 > 0:20:18- Is that a threat?- No, Mr Mackay. Just an observation based on experience of incarcerated males.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21The mood is THAT strong?

0:20:21 > 0:20:26And getting uglier every minute - present company excepted.

0:20:26 > 0:20:27Of course.

0:20:27 > 0:20:34What's the point of this, sir? Webb was offered parole. He should accept gratefully.

0:20:34 > 0:20:42- He wants to clear his name. - He's a stubborn old fool. - Stubborn, yes...but not a fool.

0:20:42 > 0:20:49I think there's something heroic about... No, as you say, the man IS a fool!

0:20:49 > 0:20:53It was too long ago for a retrial.

0:20:53 > 0:20:58But this petition could make it a national issue, sir.

0:20:58 > 0:21:05- National?- Blanco could be a national hero. We want the media on the old fella.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Media!?

0:21:07 > 0:21:11Get him in the papers and on television.

0:21:11 > 0:21:20YOU might be a celebrity and get on the Michael Parkinson show! Or at worst, on Esther Rantzen's.

0:21:20 > 0:21:25Fletcher, no way could this petition become a national issue.

0:21:25 > 0:21:29No, Mr Mackay. That's why we need the hunger strike.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33Hunger strike? What hunger strike!?

0:21:33 > 0:21:39Blanco, sir. But don't worry. He shouldn't last more than a week.

0:21:39 > 0:21:43Yes...well...er... You can leave this here.

0:21:43 > 0:21:51- We should discuss this. - On your way, Fletcher! - Back to your cells.- Very good, sir!

0:21:51 > 0:21:56Come on, then. Left wheel out there. Left, right, left, right.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59O-o-o-h-h... Hunger strike!

0:21:59 > 0:22:05Typical of Fletcher to try and turn the old man into some kind of a martyr!

0:22:05 > 0:22:09The LAST thing a prison needs is a martyr.

0:22:15 > 0:22:20- What d'you think, Fletch? - Keep 'em crossed, son.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23- Caused a panic.- Which was intended.

0:22:23 > 0:22:31- They'll have to scratch round for an alternative.- Pardon?- I said they'd have to find an alternative.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34No... P-a-r-d-o-n.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Oh... Granted!

0:22:41 > 0:22:43Yes. Come in.

0:22:43 > 0:22:49- Could I have a word, sir? - You've left them out there alone!?

0:22:49 > 0:22:55- Mr Collinson's seeing to them. - We lost a typewriter last week. Remember?

0:22:55 > 0:23:02What is it, Mr Barrowclough? Well, sir...there's a solution to our problem.

0:23:02 > 0:23:09As I'm sure you're aware with your knowledge of the Penal Code. Er...yes...

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Refresh my memory.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14Sub-section 23, Paragraph 'D'.

0:23:14 > 0:23:19Good old Sub-section 23, Paragraph 'G'.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Paragraph 'D', sir.

0:23:22 > 0:23:28'D'...'D'... Yes, of course! 'D'. Jog my memory again, Mr Barrowclough.

0:23:28 > 0:23:36As you know, sir, the Governor of a prison has the right - if he feels it is warranted...

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Y-e-s...?

0:23:38 > 0:23:43..to request the Home Office for a prisoner's pardon. A pardon?

0:23:43 > 0:23:46- That's right, sir.- A PARDON!?

0:23:46 > 0:23:55Y-e-s...of course! It would put paid to any idea of a hunger strike being splashed across the papers.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58I DID think it was a good idea!

0:23:58 > 0:24:03Yes. Well, I'm paid to come up with good ideas in such situations!

0:24:05 > 0:24:10I'll put through a recommendation now. Look at all this nonsense...

0:24:10 > 0:24:14Mr Barrowclough... YOUR signature's on this form!

0:24:14 > 0:24:17No, sir. There must be some mistake.

0:24:17 > 0:24:21Look at that. What IS that, Mr Barrowclough?

0:24:21 > 0:24:26- Is that not your signature? - It must be a forgery!

0:24:26 > 0:24:31Oh, no... that IS my signature. I must have signed it. I must have.

0:24:33 > 0:24:39- So, miracles DO happen. He's out today, is he?- Yeah. Free pardon.

0:24:39 > 0:24:44They're all claiming credit for it. The Governor says he thought of it.

0:24:44 > 0:24:54- Barrowclough's miserable because he says HE thought of it first, but WE know who DID.- Yeah, ME!

0:24:54 > 0:24:58- What d'you mean, Godber? - I'm only joking.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02Never mind. I haven't got over Jack the Kipper yet!

0:25:02 > 0:25:09- Hello, Lukewarm! - Gentlemen, may I present the best-dressed man in Slade Prison.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12- Wow!- Ho-ho!

0:25:13 > 0:25:16Oh, that's very elegant, innit, eh?

0:25:18 > 0:25:21Where did you nick that from, eh?

0:25:21 > 0:25:29- Did you nick it from War on Want? - Fifty Shilling Tailor, that was. - You was robbed, mate!

0:25:30 > 0:25:35- No, it were the January sale, 1959. - '59... Oh-ho...!

0:25:35 > 0:25:37- It'll be back in fashion.- Really?

0:25:37 > 0:25:451959... I was wearing Italian pin-stripe suits and shirts with Billy Eckstein collars.

0:25:45 > 0:25:49- I wore grey flannel shorts. - Oh, all right!

0:25:49 > 0:25:54- I wore this to the wife's funeral. - It's hardly black.

0:25:54 > 0:26:00- I couldn't afford a new suit. I'd just paid for that damn freezer. - O-o-o-h-h...

0:26:01 > 0:26:06Aye. Terrible to think that she were to end up inside it.

0:26:06 > 0:26:11It were fitting in a way, cos all her life she were a cold woman.

0:26:11 > 0:26:17- Don't be too long, Mr Webb. The bus is waiting. - Thank you, driver(!)

0:26:18 > 0:26:23By gum, you don't know how good that sounds... 'Mr' Webb!

0:26:23 > 0:26:30- You can go outside now, my son, and hold your head up high. All right?- Right, Fletch.

0:26:31 > 0:26:39Well, you know... I'm not very good... Y'know... After all this time...

0:26:39 > 0:26:42..at expressing my gratitude.

0:26:43 > 0:26:48I know what you've done, and I'll not forget it.

0:26:48 > 0:26:52You're going outside. That's all that matters, innit, eh?

0:26:52 > 0:26:56Don't waste your time nattering to us.

0:26:56 > 0:27:03- I don't want much. - It's nice to know justice has been done. Albeit a bit late.

0:27:03 > 0:27:08The pardon's for your family name. It's for your grandchildren, innit?

0:27:08 > 0:27:13You can look anybody in the eye without any shame or guilt.

0:27:13 > 0:27:21- Life's taken a great deal out of you, mate. All you need back is your pride.- Right, Fletch.

0:27:21 > 0:27:26- Ta-ra, Blanco. Keep yer nose clean. - Ta-ra, son. Same to you.

0:27:26 > 0:27:35- One thing more...- What's that? - Sue the Government for every penny they've got.- Too bloody right!

0:27:35 > 0:27:38Ta-ta, Blanco. I'll miss you.

0:27:38 > 0:27:43God bless ya. Thank you for looking after me.

0:27:43 > 0:27:48I'll try and get that scented notepaper you asked for.

0:27:49 > 0:27:51Come here. Listen...

0:27:51 > 0:27:58We all know you didn't kill your old lady. Some other bloke did and you've paid for it.

0:27:58 > 0:28:04- But don't go out there harbouring any thoughts of revenge. All right? - No...

0:28:04 > 0:28:12I know him what did it. It were her lover. But don't worry. He died years ago.

0:28:12 > 0:28:17- It's all right then.- That I DO know. It were ME that killed him!

0:28:46 > 0:28:48Subtitles by Charlie Menzies BBC Scotland