0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09MUSIC: "Oxford Comma" by Vampire Weekend
0:00:19 > 0:00:21# Who give a f... about an Oxford comma?
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# I've seen those English dramas too
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# They're cruel
0:00:27 > 0:00:30# So if there's any other way to spell the word, it's fine
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# With me, with me
0:00:33 > 0:00:36# Why would you speak... #
0:00:36 > 0:00:38BELL RINGS
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Time's up. Pens down.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# When I always said that I
0:00:43 > 0:00:47# Haven't got the words for you
0:00:47 > 0:00:50# All your diction dripping with disdain
0:00:50 > 0:00:55# Through the pain I always tell the truth. #
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Done and done.
0:00:58 > 0:01:03All that remains is the ceremonial tearing up of the exam sheet.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Oh, hi, how did you get on?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Yeah, great! Really enjoyed it.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Hey, what are these questions?
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Uh, twelve to fifteen.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Oh! no, no, no, no!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Why did they put them on the back?!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Oh, Mike, it's gone.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Oh, but...
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Look, it was physics, so, you know.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23You're right.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24I'm over it.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28I was thinking of doing this residential summer camp for disadvantaged kids.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30You're not exactly disadvantaged, Beth
0:01:30 > 0:01:32apart from the height thing.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35I meant as a volunteer counsellor, idiot.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38Look, there's these beautiful cabins in the Lake District
0:01:38 > 0:01:40we go for walks, get out there in nature.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43I thought it'd be really fun if we did it together,
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- you know, get away from people. - Apart from the little weird kids.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47So, you in?
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Err, maybe. How weird are the kids?
0:01:50 > 0:01:54I don't know, they're orphaned or disabled, or something.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57No way, Beth. This is a very important time in a young man's life
0:01:57 > 0:02:00it's a time for drinking and chasing women.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Jamie does not want to be wasting his prime on a bunch of loser kids.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Maybe he does,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08maybe he wants to do something more worthwhile with his time.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11I don't think I'm the sort of person they're looking for.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I don't think I'm ready for responsibility.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Basically making sure they don't fall in a lake.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Hello, Beth. Read the body language.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Exams are over. Life begins!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Life begins.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33Look, life's not fair, OK.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35These kids have got to learn that.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Oh, look, Frederik's handing out party flyers.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57I hate that guy.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00His parents are like arms dealers or something.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03That party is going to be amazing, though.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05We should crash it.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Yes!
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Oh, opportunity to lose our virginity together,
0:03:09 > 0:03:10this could be it.
0:03:10 > 0:03:15He means simultaneously, not with each other.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Although, we could end up with the same woman take an end each.
0:03:18 > 0:03:23We'd be like marathon runners holding hands over the finishing line. Yeah!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- No! - It'd be a great way to celebrate.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26- What would?- Nothing.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29We're going to crash Frederik and Sasha's party.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31And there may be scenes of a sexual nature, oh yeah,
0:03:31 > 0:03:34certificate 18...
0:03:34 > 0:03:37..or hopefully 15, at least.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Great. What time are we going?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Oh, actually, it's sort of a boy's only night.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44What, like a gay night?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46No! No, it's just...
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Worried about me cramping your style, you and your wing man?
0:03:49 > 0:03:53Beth, it's just you're a mate, it'd be weird with you there.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Oh, I see. Fine.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Wouldn't want to go to a party at a place like that anyway.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03What, a big house with a swimming pool?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Yeah, and what paid for that pool? Blood money.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10The blood of 1,000 child soldiers caught on the wrong side of a deranged militia.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Oh, hello, little boy.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15What's your name?
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Bang! Who cares?
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- Jesus, Beth!- Another little future spattered across the wall.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24- We're not endorsing genocide, we just want to get laid! - Tell it to the Hague!
0:04:27 > 0:04:28What the hell was that?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, can't you see?
0:04:31 > 0:04:35She's crazy about me and she senses the ship is sailing.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44Off out?
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Yeah, Sasha's having drinks, I'm going with Danielle.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50That's interesting because I thought you were grounded.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Christ's sake, it was a spliff.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54It's not like you found me snorting coke, straddling my pimp.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Oh, very nice, Laura.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00I've told Danielle I'm going.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03You'll have plenty of time to see Danielle in Edinburgh.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Look, Mum, I appreciate you trying to cram in some parenting,
0:05:06 > 0:05:08but really, it's a bit late. I'm 18.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Well, let's make the most of the precious time we have left together.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14You are not going out.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18You are such a bitch!
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Do you want me to tell your father what you just said?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24There's no need. He already knows.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Jamie?
0:05:28 > 0:05:29How did you get on?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Worse than Beth, probably better than Mike.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33All finished. Well done.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Cheers, Mike's coming over, We're heading out to celebrate.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- I've got a little something for you. - What is it?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41The future.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Oh, no, not the toy shop.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51They're recruiting, it's a good holiday job.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Do understand what the word 'holiday' means?
0:05:53 > 0:05:54You're right.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Tell you what, your Dad and I will sponsor you
0:05:57 > 0:05:59to screw around for two months. How's that?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01All right, I'll look at it,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04but I'm not going to try that hard to get it.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Oh, Christ, what a day.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Never work for anyone, son, if you can avoid it.
0:06:25 > 0:06:30So, Laura, I think your father wanted to talk to you about something.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32- Did I? - Yes, you definitely did.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Oh, right, uh, that.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Yes, your mother tells me you're thinking of not going to university.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Since when?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Well we can only assume by your behaviour
0:06:43 > 0:06:46that you won't be wanting our financial support.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Oh, I see, you're punishing me, great.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55The whole world is one big fucking naughty step for you two, isn't it?
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Oh, sorry, shall I go to my room?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Actually, Mum, why don't you chuck me out,
0:07:00 > 0:07:02like you did with Dad when he shagged his secretary?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Thank you very much, Laura.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Oh, no problem.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Thank you for convincing me to stay in tonight,
0:07:08 > 0:07:11this is much more fun than being with my friends.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15You're welcome, this is the kind of evening I just live for.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Much nicer than a civilised meal.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Yeah, well we're not that sort of family, are we?
0:07:19 > 0:07:24- What sort would that be? - The sort that actually likes each other.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- Oh!- Can you smell that?
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Yeah! Are you trying to attract women or incapacitate them?
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Uh, bit of both? Hey, check this out.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Is that a piercing?
0:07:46 > 0:07:50No, it's one of my Mum's earrings superglued to my second chakra.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52I'm going to be unstoppable tonight.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56Plus, I've made the ultimate seduction playlist.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59This has been specifically designed to put the target
0:07:59 > 0:08:02into a sexually receptive state.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05The target? Wow, lucky girl.
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Listen.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10See, starts off all slow and acoustic,
0:08:10 > 0:08:13she's thinking, "Yeah, seems like a nice, non-threatening guy."
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Really? Not, "Who's the freak who's put the earphones on me?"
0:08:16 > 0:08:19No, I'll play it on the stereo. I'm taking a three and a half mil jack.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Oh, well, be sure to mention that
0:08:22 > 0:08:25because women love talking about audio equipment.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28So, now she's lulled into a false sense of security,
0:08:28 > 0:08:32it's time for the sofa transition phase.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37So, we're sat there, and the vibe getting all smooth and sexy.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39I move in for the kill.
0:08:41 > 0:08:47So, anyway, foreplay, foreplay, foreplay...blah, blah, blah,
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Ah, yeah, here we go, uh, uh, yeah.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52See, really helps with the timing.
0:08:52 > 0:08:57Uh, start co-ordinating each thrust. Uh, uh, uh.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58Stop doing that on my bed!
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Shh.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04See, now we start pacing up a little bit all inhibitions are going,
0:09:04 > 0:09:06she's tearing off her clothes.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09She's all lost now, "Oh, Mike, Mike, you're so amazing!"
0:09:09 > 0:09:13"Oh, my God, Mike! Aww, oh!"
0:09:13 > 0:09:18And then we get towards, towards the big finish...
0:09:18 > 0:09:19"..Aargh!"
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Top Gear?! What woman's going to want to listen that?
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Who cares?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27By that point it's not about her, it's all about me.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34'Sasha's party is going to be a generation defining event.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38'You have to be there, so just stop being such a fucking Cinderella.'
0:09:38 > 0:09:41I'm not a fucking Cinderella. I'm just...
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Staying home whilst everyone else goes to the party?
0:09:44 > 0:09:49"Oh, I'm grounded, I'm grounded, I'll never meet Prince Charming."
0:09:54 > 0:09:56OK, I'm coming. Hang on.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58'Good girl.'
0:10:00 > 0:10:01POP MUSIC PLAYS
0:10:01 > 0:10:02OK.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15'Laura, Laura?'
0:10:17 > 0:10:19MUSIC AND CHATTER
0:10:32 > 0:10:34This better be worth it.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Whoa!
0:10:40 > 0:10:45Oh, my God. It's like Narnia...
0:10:45 > 0:10:46..but sexy.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58I'm fine. The nettles broke my fall.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07What's wrong with your face?
0:11:07 > 0:11:10What? Is it bad?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Er...no.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Anyway, it's going to be dark in there.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Doesn't it hurt?
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Um, not really.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Oh, wait, yeah.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25LOUD DANCE MUSIC
0:11:35 > 0:11:39OK, so we should circulate, try and meet some people.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42No, that's not my game plan.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46I'm a man of mystery, an enigma.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49I have to let the women come to me, then slightly ignore them
0:11:49 > 0:11:51like the horse whisperer.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54OK, well, let's at least go and stand by the drinks.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Oh, nice one, yeah, brilliant.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Angle this way.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Put this on.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19What's her problem?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22She's fine. She just hates her parents.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23How original.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26I'm going to check out the rest of this house.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Do you want to come with me?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- Yeah.- Come on.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32DANCE MUSIC
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Do you think she's all right?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Bit messed up, but, yeah, she's fit.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50No, I mean she looks a bit upset.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Oh, right, yeah, vulnerable, like it.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55No, it's not what I meant.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01What?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06I was just wondering, are you OK?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Are you trying to chat me up?
0:13:09 > 0:13:10No.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Yes.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13What?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Are you saying I'm not pretty?
0:13:15 > 0:13:18No, you're very pretty.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I know I am.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23I know.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25I just wanted to check you were all right.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Oh,
0:13:29 > 0:13:33that's quite sweet, actually.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35OK.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Um, sorry, I'm not much of a conversationalist.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Well, stop talking, then.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00How the hell did he do that?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Hi, my friend over there wanted me to ask you something.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Oh, right.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Yeah, can you move somewhere else
0:14:13 > 0:14:15because your face is, kind of, upsetting her?
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Yeah.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37PHONE VIBRATES
0:14:40 > 0:14:41'Hi, Beth.'
0:14:41 > 0:14:45Ah, Hef. How's the Playboy Mansion working out for you?
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Great, great. It's all very cool here.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50'So, why are you calling me?'
0:14:50 > 0:14:54Oh, you seemed upset earlier and I wanted to make sure you were OK.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Yeah, it's because nobody's talking to you, isn't it?
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Actually, I'm getting a lot of attention.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06And Jamie pulled ages ago. Went off with some crazy girl.
0:15:07 > 0:15:08Beth?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Yeah, it sounds all right actually. I might come along.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14I wouldn't bother. I'm moments away from pulling myself.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18- You wouldn't have anyone to talk to. - Yeah, I'm coming.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31Ow! Ow! That's attached, that's attached!
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Oh, hey, Beth.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35It's winding down in there so I'm just going to shoot off.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39Jesus, what's happened to your face? And where's Jamie?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Oh, interesting story this,
0:15:41 > 0:15:45I was just with these girls, making a connection and...
0:15:57 > 0:15:59You know what we need?
0:15:59 > 0:16:00What?
0:16:00 > 0:16:01A room.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Uh...
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Oh!
0:16:20 > 0:16:21SHE GIGGLES
0:16:35 > 0:16:38OK, we have to do it now.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44OK, well, look, maybe we should slow things down,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46we've both had a bit to drink.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Though I see your coordination still fairly intact.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Good.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Don't look, just don't look.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13God, that's disgusting.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33# My baby don't mess around
0:17:33 > 0:17:34# Because she loves me so... #
0:17:39 > 0:17:45# Cos I'm...having...a...good... time...with you
0:17:45 > 0:17:46# I'm telling you
0:17:46 > 0:17:51# I-I-I've had the time of my life
0:17:51 > 0:17:55# And I never felt this way before
0:17:55 > 0:17:59# And I swear, yes, it's true
0:17:59 > 0:18:01# And I owe it all to you
0:18:01 > 0:18:07# I-I-I've had the time of my life
0:18:07 > 0:18:11# And I never felt this way before
0:18:11 > 0:18:14# And I swear this is true
0:18:14 > 0:18:17# And I owe it all to you
0:18:17 > 0:18:22# I-I-I've had the time of my life
0:18:22 > 0:18:25# And I never felt this way before
0:18:25 > 0:18:29# And I swear this is true
0:18:29 > 0:18:32# And I owe it all to you
0:18:32 > 0:18:37# I-I-I've had the time of my life
0:18:37 > 0:18:40# And I never felt this way before
0:18:40 > 0:18:44# And I swear this is true
0:18:44 > 0:18:47# And I owe it all to you. #
0:18:52 > 0:18:56SEXUAL GROANS
0:19:00 > 0:19:03SEXUAL GROANS CONTINUE
0:19:08 > 0:19:11HE GRUNTS
0:19:23 > 0:19:25THEY GROAN CLIMACTICALLY
0:19:33 > 0:19:37- Oh! - Michael? I've done you a sandwich. >
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Mum!
0:19:38 > 0:19:40MUSIC: "Top Gear Theme"
0:20:08 > 0:20:10PHONE RINGS
0:20:15 > 0:20:17'Jamie, where are you?'
0:20:17 > 0:20:22I'm still here, with Laura. The girl from last night. We did it.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- Holy crap, really?- 'Yeah.'
0:20:24 > 0:20:27It was AMAZING. How was your night?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Rather not discuss it.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34'Is she still asleep?
0:20:34 > 0:20:36'Jamie?
0:20:36 > 0:20:38'Jamie?'
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- 'Jamie!'- Yeah?- 'Is she dressed?'
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Not really. - Can you text me a photo?- No!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48'I'm just going to make her a coffee or something.'
0:20:48 > 0:20:50I'd just leg it if I were you, mate.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54- Why?- 'What if she's weirded out about sleeping with a 16-year-old?'
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- That's statutory rape.- It's not statutory rape! It was,
0:20:57 > 0:21:00you know...special.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Gay! Jamie, she was pissed and she's way out of your league.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07I don't know. I think she liked me.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11- She also seemed to like staggering into furniture and screaming her head off.- Yeah, but...
0:21:11 > 0:21:13OK, OK.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16I think the classy thing to do would be to write her a thank you note.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20- Well, I can't just leave.- Trust me. It's the gentlemanly approach.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24'That way, if she wants to get in touch, she can.'
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I suppose.
0:21:26 > 0:21:31Either way, you'll always have that night so text me a quick photo...
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Laura, darling, it's arrived.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Go on.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Well?
0:22:39 > 0:22:41A's, all A's.
0:22:41 > 0:22:47Oh, that's marvellous. That's better than your cousin Gabby.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Not that it's all about that, but I must tell your Aunty Louise.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52You all right?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Yeah, just relieved, I suppose.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58As if there was any doubt. We knew you'd never let us down.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00We're very proud of you, darling.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05OK. We'll I'm going to go and phone Danielle.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07Well done. I...
0:23:14 > 0:23:15How long's it been?
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Two minutes.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Positive.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28SHE GROANS
0:23:32 > 0:23:35OK, so are you going to call him?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37They're not 100% accurate.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40This is the third one - from this brand.
0:23:40 > 0:23:45Clear And True, Ovi-test, they all agree, you are pregnant.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- This one even thinks it's twins. - Oh, God!
0:23:50 > 0:23:54I know. Men can be such bastards.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Actually, no, he seemed quite nice from what I remember.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00But he didn't exactly stick around to chat, did he?
0:24:00 > 0:24:04He probably won't want to know. I mean, I wouldn't.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06- Are you sure you want to tell him? - I don't know.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09But he got me into this mess. Why should he...?
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Give me the number.
0:24:12 > 0:24:13OK.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16OK...you dial.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28Hi.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34There's no easy way to say this but we met a few weeks ago
0:24:34 > 0:24:37and we slept together and I'm pregnant.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Please say something.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48'Hello?'
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Is that a seven or a nine?
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Oh!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02You guys want these?
0:25:02 > 0:25:05- Cheers, Mum.- Thanks.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07So, what are you lot up to today?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Liberating Baghdad.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Oh, good. So long as you're not wasting your summer.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17I miss not being able to talk to my mum like that.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20I ain't been able to look her in the eye since the...incident.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22SHE CHORTLES
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Watch him. Watch him!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30- Concentrate! - That wasn't my fault. He was yours!
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Take some responsibility for your actions, soldier.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37PHONE RINGS
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Hello.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Yeah.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Jamie?
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Jamie, we're getting killed here, mate.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02J... Jamie?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04FROM VIDEO GAME: Man down! Man down!
0:26:05 > 0:26:08FROM VIDEO GAME: I repeat, man down!
0:26:10 > 0:26:13What were you thinking? You're so irresponsible!
0:26:13 > 0:26:15I'm sorry. I didn't think it was going to...
0:26:15 > 0:26:17You didn't think at all, that's the problem.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21This was supposed to be the best summer of our lives and look what you've done to us.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25- This is what happens when you have sex with a slapper. - She was NOT a slapper!
0:26:25 > 0:26:28- How many times have I spoke about contraception?- Never!
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- Did you even use protection? - Of course I did. I used a condom.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35Yeah, but it really didn't look like you had it on right.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17It's bit awkward, isn't it?
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Laura? >
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Laura? >
0:27:23 > 0:27:25I think you've got the wrong table.
0:27:32 > 0:27:33Sorry.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Hi.
0:27:43 > 0:27:44How... How old are you?
0:27:44 > 0:27:4616.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Oh, my God!
0:27:51 > 0:27:54SHE MOANS IN A HIGH-PITCHED WHINE
0:27:56 > 0:27:58MUSIC: "Oxford Comma" by Vampire Weekend
0:28:01 > 0:28:04# Why would you lie about how much coal you have?
0:28:04 > 0:28:08# Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
0:28:08 > 0:28:12# Why would you lie about anything at all?
0:28:12 > 0:28:16# First the window then it's through the wall
0:28:16 > 0:28:20# Lil' Jon he always tells the truth. #
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd