0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Exams are over, life begins! - Life begins.
0:00:04 > 0:00:08Sasha's party is going to be a generation-defining event.
0:00:08 > 0:00:09You have to be there.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11You are not going out.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Why don't you chuck me out, like you did with Dad?
0:00:14 > 0:00:18Oh, my God, it's like Narnia but sexy.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21The girl from last night? We did it.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25You are pregnant. This one even thinks it's twins.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28- Did you even use protection? - Of course I did. I used a condom.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Yeah, but it really didn't look like you had it on right.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32- How old are you?- 16.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Arggghh!
0:00:39 > 0:00:45This programme contains some strong language
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Oh, my God.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55I'm a rapist.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57I'm a pregnant rapist.
0:00:57 > 0:01:02You're not a rapist. I'm 16. And I consented.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03A lot.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Towards the end, I'm pretty sure you did too.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Oh, OK. This is such a mess. I'm going to go.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11But you asked me to come here.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12That was when I thought you were 20.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Right now, I'm an ice cream and a zoo trip away from being on a register.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18- So, what am I supposed to do? - Get back on your BMX, go home,
0:01:18 > 0:01:20and just forget about the whole thing.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Hey, I didn't come here on my BMX.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26My mum gave me a lift.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Come on, quick!
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- So?- He was 16.- Oh, little bastard.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- What am I going to do? - It's going to be all right
0:01:47 > 0:01:50because I have got you these.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55No, I'm not ready to talk about this yet, Danielle.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Laura, you should at least consider it.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59I know.
0:02:00 > 0:02:06Oh, God. I just didn't think that I'd be the one having the abortion.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10- Yeah, I know. My money was on Naomi Rushbrook.- Naomi Rushbrook.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Yeah, exactly. What a slut.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Not that you're a slut.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16God, that's what people are going to say about me, isn't it?
0:02:16 > 0:02:20No. Well, actually, yeah. But they weren't there.
0:02:20 > 0:02:21I know you're not a slut.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25A drunk and a borderline paedophile, maybe, but not a slut.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27So, come on, just go and have a chat with them.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30- Maybe they can fit you in tomorrow. - Yeah, OK.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Yeah? Because it's not just you this affects, you know.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35What about me?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- I don't want to go to uni without my drinking buddy.- Yeah, I'm sorry.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40See, your irresponsible actions have real consequences.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Yeah, I've noticed.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Oh.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Jamie's out somewhere but Mike's upstairs if you want him.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50I'll wait.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56All right, Beth love. You know, Mike's upstairs?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58- Yep, so I heard.- Off to work.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00- You asking or telling?- Telling.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- OK, see you later. - Have fun.- Unlikely.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Is it his birthday? - Wedding anniversary.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14- Oh, right, doing anything nice? - I'd be very surprised.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Keith's forgotten our anniversary for 14 years straight.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Oh, right. Sorry.- No, it's all good.
0:03:20 > 0:03:24As long as I remember and he forgets, I have the upper hand.
0:03:25 > 0:03:30This is mainly tactical. In fact, you should know this.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Look at this card.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Yeah, it's nice.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37No, it's not, it's awful.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40However, Keith is a sucker for anything with penguins.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42He will adore this card
0:03:42 > 0:03:45and that'll make him feel really guilty that he didn't get me one.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- Aah.- Then he reads the message.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Two kisses.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57- I don't get it.- One's casual, three, everything's fine but two...
0:03:57 > 0:04:00No one does two, very unsettling number.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03So, consciously he will realise that he's in big trouble
0:04:03 > 0:04:06and he'll start trying very hard to make it up to me.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Oh, that's clever.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11You see, Beth, relationships are basically strategy.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13You accumulate small advantages
0:04:13 > 0:04:18until your opponent has no option but to take you out for dinner.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Why doesn't my mum tell me this stuff?
0:04:23 > 0:04:28The mystery man returns. Weren't up to any trouble, were we?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Ah. No.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Come on, Jamie. Mike's upstairs. Let's see how his morning went.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Here he comes. Beth, get out of the shot,
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- I'm trying to capture the moment here.- Capture this.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48So, how did it go? Wait, let me see if I can see from your expression.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50- Just tell us.- It was awful.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- She basically said she never wants to see me again.- Yes, jackpot.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- She just dismissed me.- What a bitch.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00I'm just saying, you should probably respect her wishes.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Yeah, it sounds like you got a free pass, mate.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03I don't want a free pass.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06I'm willing to take the consequences like a man.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Or, or, or you could avoid the consequences like a smart man.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12I think we should just draw a line under it and move on.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15It's not like you're going to marry this girl.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Oh.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23That's brilliant.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28If I propose. If I do the right thing, she can't just ignore that.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31No, no, no. You can't do that.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I was saying not marry her. Not.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- No, no, no, it's perfect. - No, it's not.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Yeah, I mean she'll turn me down, she hates me.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42But if I show that I'm willing to marry her,
0:05:42 > 0:05:44she can't just write me off.
0:05:44 > 0:05:49And what if she says yes, Jamie? Where will we all be then?
0:05:54 > 0:05:57If she does say yes, I'm best man, right?
0:06:02 > 0:06:07So, Janet, Alan has said that he has regrets about his actions.
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Yeah, well, so he should.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13Can you tell us, what are you hearing when he says that?
0:06:13 > 0:06:18I'm hearing that Alan is acknowledging that he has regrets
0:06:18 > 0:06:20but I think his main regret is
0:06:20 > 0:06:22that he got caught bending his PA over his desk.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- I don't think that's what he's saying.- I think it is, actually
0:06:25 > 0:06:29I think Alan is starting to think this is a bit of a waste of time.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31No, no, no, this is good.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35A healthy amount of confrontation is good here.
0:06:35 > 0:06:40Er, naturally, you'll both have unresolved feelings
0:06:40 > 0:06:41about the affair.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Don't you mean affairs? - No, he means affair.- Affairs.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- It was one affair.- Well, forgive me if I don't take your word for that.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- OK, can anyone see a negative pattern here?- I can.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56Is it the one where Alan sleeps with people from work and lies about it?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Is it the one where Janet is a cold bitch all of the time?
0:06:58 > 0:07:03OK, let's try and de-escalate for a moment.
0:07:03 > 0:07:08Can you remember last week when I asked you both to sit down
0:07:08 > 0:07:13and draw up a list of positive aspects of your family life?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Yes, we didn't really have time. - I did.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17OK, Janet, what was on the list?
0:07:17 > 0:07:22- Well, it said Laura, university, her law degree.- Hmm.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Good, good.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Yes, because it's an exciting time for you both, isn't it?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30And for Laura.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33So, for homework, I'd like you to organise
0:07:33 > 0:07:36an activity around Laura.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Is this something you think you could both do?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45I can, if he can.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49- Fine by me.- Yeah, fine.- Fine.- Fine.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51OK, good. Good.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Fine.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06We generally say that a good price guide is one to two months' salary.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Do you have anything in a Kinder Egg?
0:08:08 > 0:08:12What about these ones? Are they engagement rings?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Technically, yes. They're obviously smaller
0:08:15 > 0:08:16and of a slightly lower clarity.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18But still very nice rings.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25No, no. I definitely wouldn't say yes on the basis of this.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26I'm not asking you.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29But if you thought this was all I was worth, I'd be heartbroken.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32I mean, this is supposed to be the happiest day of my life.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- That's the wedding. - There's not going to be a wedding.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Yeah, not with this piece of junk, there's isn't.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Maybe it is a little bit small. It needs to look like I really mean it.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I need to see it on.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- Not on you.- If you must.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52No, you've got tiny, little, toddler hands, Beth.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55I need to see it on a normal woman's hand.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03You see, that doesn't look so bad.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Wow.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08You've got lovely hands.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12- I'm not authorised to give discounts.- Yeah.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- So, what d'you think? Think Laura'd go for that? - I thought you didn't want her to.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18No, but, in theory, does it look good enough?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Don't ask me and you shouldn't be supporting the diamond trade anyway. It's immoral.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Actually, all of our rings are certified.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Oh, and you've confirmed that with head office have you, Julie?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30They run the whole supply chain past you first, do they?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32I suppose you check the provenence of every diamond
0:09:32 > 0:09:35to make sure they're not funding African warlords.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Is that how you get your perfect tan,
0:09:37 > 0:09:39brokering peace deals in Sierra Leone?
0:09:40 > 0:09:45How many more have to die, Julie? Julie, answer me!
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Nice one, Beth. Couldn't you have waited till we'd bought one?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50And join the web of complicity like the bloody UN?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52You didn't have to call her a child murderer.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55She is a child murderer. And you're an idiot.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00Beth? Is this because I said you got toddler fingers?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Come on. Doesn't matter anyway,
0:10:04 > 0:10:06even the cheapest ring would have cleaned me out.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Just get online. Put it on your parents' credit card.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Then you've got seven days. Pop the question, get the no,
0:10:12 > 0:10:13send it back and get a refund.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15And your statutory rights are not affected.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Can you do that? - Yeah, I do it all the time.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19That's how comes I got this camera.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Look.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Come here.- What you doing?
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Come on, Jamie. You can't put a price on memories.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29# Memories. #
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Going in to town?
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- Er, yeah.- So are we.
0:10:42 > 0:10:47- Oh. Both of you?- Yes.- Together?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Yes, we're going to do some shopping.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Oh. OK, well, have fun.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57No, actually, we thought we'd go together, you know, pick up the stuff you need for university.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01Oh, no, no. I can get all that myself. Thank you though.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Oh, come on. It'll be...fun.
0:11:05 > 0:11:10- Really?- Yes, like a family outing. - Like a family outing, exactly.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14- Um.- Well, you haven't got anything special planned, have you?
0:11:14 > 0:11:17No. No, just meeting Danielle.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Well. Great.- Hmm. - The more the merrier.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27OK. We're all going. OK.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Ooh. Here we all go. Together.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Cheers.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53No, Mum, please. I don't need any more bed linen.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Laura, we should get going.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59We promised to meet Naomi Rushbrook at 12:15.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Yes, we should go, because we don't want to be late for her.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05I thought you didn't like Naomi Rushbrook.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07I always thought she was a very nice girl.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Thank you for everything,
0:12:09 > 0:12:12but we should go. She's only got a 20 minute slot. Oh.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15But we've still got to get your toaster.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Well, that was 300 quid well spent.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Hi, I'm Laura, I have a 12:15 appointment.- Take a seat.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Thank you.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Thank you.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Can't resist a sale.
0:12:50 > 0:12:55Oh, yeah, yeah, that's much more the sort of thing I had in mind.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Although I think the phrasing of the question is going to be crucial.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02So, as best man, I've written down a few options here.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05# Ta da! #
0:13:05 > 0:13:08'Hi, this is Laura, leave a message.'
0:13:08 > 0:13:10You promise she's not going to find a better man,
0:13:10 > 0:13:13especially now she's up the duff.
0:13:14 > 0:13:1616-year-olds have a lot to offer.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Discounted bus travel, cheaper cinema tickets.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20Oh, this is a good one.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Right, if it she looks like she's not going for it,
0:13:22 > 0:13:25say you'll throw in a rolling, six-month, quickie divorce option...
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- 'Hi, this is Laura...' - ..no questions asked.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32Laura, it's Jamie, again.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Just in case you didn't get my other messages.
0:13:35 > 0:13:41I'd really like to speak to you. So, just give me a call, please.
0:13:41 > 0:13:46- No, don't say please. - Just call me, OK?
0:13:49 > 0:13:51She's just ignoring me.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Right, we're going to have to go stalker on her,
0:13:54 > 0:13:56bombard her with texts until she calls you back.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58No, Mike. Give it back.
0:13:58 > 0:13:59Mike, Mike, give me the phone.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- Mike, don't!- Jamie, yes.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04No, Mike. Mike!
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Mike! don't.- Trust me.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08I'm the only one thinking straight in this equation.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10I really doubt that. Open the door.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Someone has to take responsibility here, Jamie.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- You'll thank me for this later. - No, I won't. Mike!
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Argh!
0:14:19 > 0:14:22And do you know an approximate date
0:14:22 > 0:14:23of when you think you may have conceived?
0:14:23 > 0:14:28Yeah, I think I can tie that down pretty specifically.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Well, initially, we'll take you for an ultrasound scan.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34That'll just confirm how many weeks you are into the pregnancy.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36PHONE BEEPS
0:14:37 > 0:14:38- Sorry.- It's OK.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42It will affect the type of procedure that we use for the actual abortion,
0:14:42 > 0:14:44if you do decide to go ahead with it.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- PHONE BEEPS Sorry. Sorry.- That's OK, it's fine.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Now, obviously you'll want to take some time to think this all through.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53There may be other people you want to discuss it with.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56I mean, you parents or partner maybe.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Medically speaking, the sooner you choose, the better.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00PHONE VIBRATES
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Sorry, I'm going to turn this off.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Laura, you understand,
0:15:04 > 0:15:07we can give you all the support you need
0:15:07 > 0:15:09but the decision has to be yours, OK?
0:15:10 > 0:15:14- OK.- Maybe you should just answer that.- Thank you.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Hello?- 'Mike, I swear I'll fuck you up.'
0:15:18 > 0:15:22- Ah, ah. It's for your own good! - Give. Give it!
0:15:26 > 0:15:30- Give it!- No. Everything I do is love of you, Jamie.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33God, you're strong. Ah!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Something isn't working. I don't even know why we bother!
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Don't bother with any of it!
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Laura!
0:15:52 > 0:15:56- Jamie! What the hell are you doing here?- I wanted to talk to you.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58- Now is not a good time.- Look, I know you think I'm just a kid.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01But I want to prove to you that I'm serious.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Oh, my God, what are you doing?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06The right thing. I'm asking you to marry me.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- Oh, my God, stop being such an idiot, get up!- No, no, no, I'm doing this.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Laura, I want you to know that I'm here to support you
0:16:14 > 0:16:18- and be involved and do whatever it takes.- Yes!
0:16:18 > 0:16:19- What?- Yes!
0:16:21 > 0:16:26- Yes?- Yes, let's get married. Yes. A thousand times, yes.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I'm totally in. Ah!
0:16:28 > 0:16:31This is the most thrilling moment of my entire life.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Now, what?
0:16:32 > 0:16:38- What do you mean?- Well, obviously there's going to be a big wedding.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Well, yeah, eventually, I suppose, but it was more about me...
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- Are you saying I'm not going to get my big wedding?- No.- My day, my way.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46- I, er...- Good. That's the wedding planned. Then what?
0:16:47 > 0:16:50I don't know. I hadn't really thought that far ahead.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Oh, you hadn't thought that far ahead.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54That surprises me, cos this all seemed so well planned.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56No, I just wanted to show you that I'm here for you.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58- Really?- Yeah, whatever you need.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00OK, I need to find a way of telling my parents that I'm pregnant
0:17:00 > 0:17:04- without them disowning me. Could you sort that out?- Erm.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Also, I need to find a way of supporting myself in university
0:17:06 > 0:17:08whilst paying for a baby.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12- Or were you planning to cover that? - I hadn't. I don't know.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14No, you don't because you're just a kid
0:17:14 > 0:17:16and have no idea what the hell you're doing.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- Who's that?- Don't know.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21You know?
0:17:21 > 0:17:24This isn't some little fantasyland where you can give me a magic ring
0:17:24 > 0:17:27and suddenly everything will all be OK. DOOR OPENS
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- This is real, OK?- Erm. - I am having a baby!
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Oh, she must really hate you.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44First you get her knocked up,
0:17:44 > 0:17:46then you pick the worst way to tell her parents.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Technically, I didn't, she did.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Yeah, can't see what her problem is(!)
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Well, at least we all know where we stand.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Apart from your mum and dad. I notice you haven't told them yet.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Yeah, well, I want to pick the right moment.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- Wouldn't want to get the timing wrong on something like that.- Shut up.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Hey.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Where's the ring?
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Oh, God, I thought her dad was going to hit me
0:18:07 > 0:18:11- so I used one of your lines. - Oh, God, what was his line?
0:18:11 > 0:18:14What the hell is this?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17It's a sign of my commitment to you...
0:18:17 > 0:18:21Laura, I mean Laura and our unborn child. Hers and mine.
0:18:21 > 0:18:22Not yours and mine, obviously.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27And I'm not saying it's forever, let's just see how it goes.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Oh, and I'll throw in a rolling, six-months,
0:18:32 > 0:18:34no-questions-asked divorce option.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40- And that didn't win him over?- No! It just made him very, very angry.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43He threw the ring away and then chucked me off the property.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Jamie love, can you make yourself scarce tomorrow evening?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Uh, yeah, why?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53By some miracle,
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- your father has actually remembered our wedding anniversary.- Right.
0:18:56 > 0:19:02It's so sweet. He's spent a fortune buying a piece of jewellery online.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Really? Are you sure?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08I found out when the credit company did a security check
0:19:08 > 0:19:10to authorise the payment.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- He almost pulled it off, bless him. - Aah. That's so...
0:19:16 > 0:19:18You haven't told him that you know though, right?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Oh, no, no, I'm playing along.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22But I'm going to do a little surprise of my own.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24I'm going to cook him steak, his favourite.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Can't let him outmanoeuvre me, eh?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Oh, God, I need to get the ring back!
0:19:34 > 0:19:37All right, calm down. Don't go all Gollum about it.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40I can't go back. Everyone there wants to kill me.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Hey, don't worry, Jamie. I'll get the ring.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44After all, it's part of the best man's responsibilities.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Mike, I'm not getting married!
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Hey, come on, don't give up hope.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Sooo,
0:19:53 > 0:19:56how did the shopping trip go?
0:20:02 > 0:20:06I'm sensing it wasn't a total success.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09No, it went swimmingly, Jeremy.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Right up until the point our daughter told us she was pregnant.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17Right.
0:20:17 > 0:20:22OK, so how do we feel about this news?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25How do you think we feel?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29We're absolutely furious.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34And somewhat disappointed.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Hmm, Hmm.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Yes, well, taking the positives,
0:20:40 > 0:20:44I suppose there is some common ground there, at least.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50You know what, Jeremy?
0:20:50 > 0:20:51I think our time is up.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17BEEPING
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Oh, my God.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41PHONE RINGS
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- Yes?- Have you got it?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Negative, but I have found a lot of weird stuff.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I'm not sure this is the sort of family you want to get involved with.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Why? What's wrong with them?
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Well, from the case I'm building,
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I think they may have killed one or more old women.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- What are you talking about? - Serial homicide, potentially.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09We're through the looking glass here, Jamie.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11DOOR OPENS AND DOG BARKS
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Wait. I may be compromised.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17- Abort.- What are you doing? - Abort, abort, abort.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19DIALLING TONE
0:22:21 > 0:22:24They're not even talking to me now.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27No, it's a relief.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30I don't know what I'm going to do.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33DOG BARKS
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Get out, you.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Hold on, something's kicking off next door.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39I'm going! Argh!
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Blimey, San, you look nice. What's the occasion?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Very funny. You not going to change?
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Nah, got another day or two left in this.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54See you later.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56What?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Keith, do you not know what night it is?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Yeah. Course.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07It's darts night.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08See you later.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15Hiya, Mike, you all right?
0:23:15 > 0:23:20Not really. I've torn my tactical vest.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Great. Jamie, your mate's here. See you later.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24See ya.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Hi.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36I have to say, Laura's dad moves pretty fast for a 70-year-old.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40- That's not her dad. - Come out of her house.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Is that a seven or a nine?
0:23:51 > 0:23:52Here you go, boys.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Griddled fillet steak with a beetroot rosti.
0:23:57 > 0:24:02And if you need me, I'll be on the couch having tiramisu.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Oh, bollocks.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49- So, I was thinking of booking us a table...- Don't bother.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56What's this?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59It's a credit card statement
0:24:59 > 0:25:03saying that you have spent 600 quid on jewellery.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Can you shed any light? And, before you answer,
0:25:05 > 0:25:08bear in mind, I still have one dart left.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13- I've no idea what this is. - Oh, come on, Keith.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15It came to this address and I never use that card.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Who else is going to spend 600 quid on it?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Oh.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32So, you start, yes?
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Hmm, yes. And you can just jump in when you think. It'll be fine.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Oh, we're not going shopping again, are we?
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Now, we've had a chat and discussed all the options.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46And we want to deal with this together.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Now, your dad's been on the Internet and he's got lots of information.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Now, it's entirely up to you,
0:25:52 > 0:25:55you can go NHS or private, we'll cover everything.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58It might be better not to go through the family GP.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00- Jim Norris is a good friend.- Hmm.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06- Obviously, there is a time limit. - Completely up to you, darling.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08But when you've made your decision, just let us know.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Why does everyone keep saying that to me?
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Everybody keeps saying it's my choice and you all tell me what to do.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16If you're all so bloody pro-choice then just let me decide.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19And what do you want to do?
0:26:19 > 0:26:22I don't know what I want to do! I don't know what I want to do. OK?
0:26:22 > 0:26:24That's my decision. I don't know!
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Oh, shit.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- You idiot.- I know.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39I should have told you, but I was trying to do the right thing.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Oh, come here, you dozy sod.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46It will be all right.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51- Oh, that poor, bloody girl. What's her name again?- Laura.- Laura.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55I'm sorry if I've let you down.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57MOUTHS: Say something.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Hey, come on, son.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04We all make mistakes.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07It's not exactly like you were planned either.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Oh, great(!)
0:27:24 > 0:27:26SHE SOBS
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd