0:00:02 > 0:00:03The girl from last night? We did it!
0:00:03 > 0:00:04You are pregnant.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- He was 16.- Little bastard!
0:00:07 > 0:00:10You said you wanted to be involved. So, you're involved.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Why don't you come and stay at ours this evening?
0:00:13 > 0:00:14You'll be OK in here?
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Fine.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Go on a date.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Allow yourselves to be romantic.
0:00:22 > 0:00:23I think it may have saved our marriage.
0:00:25 > 0:00:26Laura, did you bin my...?
0:00:26 > 0:00:29- Oh, God!- Dad!
0:00:29 > 0:00:30You know you don't have to go?
0:00:30 > 0:00:32I think I do.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34This programme contains some strong language
0:00:34 > 0:00:36and some scenes of a sexual nature.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52'Here, let me get that for you.'
0:00:52 > 0:00:53'Alan! Stop it!'
0:00:56 > 0:01:00And hurry up, for goodness sake. Ha ha!
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Are you all right, darling?
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Yeah, I'm fine.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05You look nice.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Do I?
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Of course you do. You look amazing.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Why Mr Derbyshire, so kind! Are you trying to seduce me?!
0:01:12 > 0:01:13Maybe I am!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Maybe you should keep on trying!
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Maybe I will!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Maybe you should do this somewhere else.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21We should probably be going.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Are you sure you'll be all right without us?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27It's just a work do, we won't be late.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29No, I want you to go.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32I mean, I'll be fine.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Well, call us if you need us.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35I won't need you.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36We won't be late.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Ha ha!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Oh! Alan!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45I know you're desperate, but you don't see how taking money
0:01:45 > 0:01:47meant for a children's charity
0:01:47 > 0:01:49and using it to pay for a prostitute is a problem?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Look, I'm not a monster.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Child poverty is a huge global problem.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56But that sort of money, it's just a drop in the ocean.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00If I was to spend that on poverty-stricken orphans, it wouldn't make a dent.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03- Right.- Whereas if I was to get a prostitute,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06it'll make an enormous difference to my own personal wellbeing.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09And you're actually going to run this thing?
0:02:09 > 0:02:10God, no... No, what'd be the point?
0:02:10 > 0:02:14I'll just hide out here, go home, complain about my hamstrings
0:02:14 > 0:02:16and collect the cash.
0:02:16 > 0:02:17Your lot are away, right?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Yeah, a couple of days at the Lakes.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Great. Sorted, then.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23You know, you could always just give the money to charity
0:02:23 > 0:02:25and wait to meet the right girl.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Yeah, because that's worked so well for you so far.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29The sex part did.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31No...
0:02:31 > 0:02:33No, I'm through with waiting.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36And besides, I've found the right girl.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44See, for 300 quid, I can afford this high-end,
0:02:44 > 0:02:47proper, female, woman prostitute.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Or, for the same price,
0:02:50 > 0:02:53two very convincing transsexuals.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55What do you think?
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Wow, look at the rack on that guy!
0:03:00 > 0:03:01Yeah, I know!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04I definitely preferred it when they were cold and hostile to...
0:03:04 > 0:03:07I don't know what you'd call it... Frisky?
0:03:07 > 0:03:12Eew! I cannot imagine them frisky. Your mum, maybe -
0:03:12 > 0:03:15she's got that whole high-strung, dressage pony thing going on.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17I'm just glad they're out.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20Hey, Laura, I'd love to chat,
0:03:20 > 0:03:24but I've got this...big essay...
0:03:24 > 0:03:26and I should probably go.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Oh, come on, Dan, I'm so bored here.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33I'm sorry, I'm just snowed under.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Why don't you go and call your boyfriend, Jamie?
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Oh, he's not really my boyfriend.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Oh, my God, I was not being serious.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45You're not actually considering him as boyfriend material?!
0:03:45 > 0:03:48No! Well... I don't know.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51We had that kiss.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Oh, it's just all a bit unresolved.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Oh, yeah, that kiss, because that's the unresolved issue here(!)
0:03:57 > 0:04:00But he's...nice.
0:04:00 > 0:04:01I mean, that's a good start, isn't it?
0:04:01 > 0:04:06Yeah, you're right. I mean, he's probably got a lot going for him.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09He's probably got his 50 meters swimming badge, knot-tying,
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- 'fire lighting...'- Shut up.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- ..chess club...- I'm hanging up.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16..cycling proficiency.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21It's amazing, isn't it,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23just spending time in all this?
0:04:23 > 0:04:26We could have just went to the coffee shop in the village.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Yes, it's not the same as being out here.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31No, it was warmer, and they had cake.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Just watch your footing on this section, it's a bit uneven.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Oh, a bit uneven - it's getting exciting now(!)
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I just think it helps put everything into perspective.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Oh, yeah, I find that being on a gradient,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43miles from a loo really calms me down(!)
0:04:43 > 0:04:46You know, because some things which might seem like a big deal,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48when you think about them, they really aren't.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Trust me, no amount of scenery is going to take my mind off
0:04:52 > 0:04:53being a granny at my age.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56No, not just the baby. Other things too.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Have you got something you need to say to me, Keith?
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Actually, yes.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Sandra...last week...
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I quit.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11You quit what?
0:05:11 > 0:05:12My job.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I took redundancy.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15What?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18They're cost cutting. So they offered me a choice -
0:05:18 > 0:05:22more hours for less money, or voluntary redundancy.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24What were you thinking?!
0:05:24 > 0:05:25OK, Sandra, listen...
0:05:25 > 0:05:28What the bloody hell are we going to do without your wages coming in?
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Christ! Are you some kind of simpleton?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32- Oh! Aah!- Keith?
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Keith!- Aah! Aah!- Oh, shit.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- Aah!- Oh, Keith.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- Hiya.- Hey.- I was wondering
0:05:43 > 0:05:45if you want to come and collect money for Mike's cause.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Not really. I'm surprised you're on board with that project.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Of course I am. I'm going to go cheer him on later.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53What, at the prostitu...?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55You're on about the race.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57What are you on about?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Nothing. It's a great cause.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Mike's raising money for Indian street orphans.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Yeah, he absolutely is.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Do you want to come in for a cup of...
0:06:05 > 0:06:06tea?
0:06:06 > 0:06:08He's raising money for a prostitute.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12Is he? My God, that's outrageous!
0:06:12 > 0:06:13And you know about it.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Yes, I do.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19So this picture he gave me of Little Dinesh?
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Not real.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23He's not a defiant little soul surviving on the streets of Mumbai
0:06:23 > 0:06:25since he was two, fixing shoes to buy scraps of food?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28No.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31He's the son of the guy who owns Star Of India on the high street.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Beth? What are you going to do?
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Something. And don't tip him off.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41I wasn't going to.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Because I'll know.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45OK.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54MOBILE RINGS
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Hello?
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Hi.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Hey.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Hi...
0:07:07 > 0:07:08Hello?
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Hi, yeah.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15Er... I was just wondering if...if you perhaps wanted to go out...
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Yeah, yeah, I'd love to.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19..to the shops.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Oh... OK.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24'Oh, I mean... You know...'
0:07:24 > 0:07:26You don't have to, if you're busy with Beth and Mike...
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Oh, no, I think they've got something planned together.
0:07:29 > 0:07:34OK, I just needed some stuff from the shops and I thought maybe...
0:07:34 > 0:07:36maybe you could drive me?
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Yeah, yeah, sounds good.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40It's not a date.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43No. No, it doesn't sound like one.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Just out.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Just out.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48'OK, see you later, then.'
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Hey, Beth.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11So, ready for the big race?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Well, you do what you can.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16And hey, thanks for your contributions.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Every little helps.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Yeah, you never actually said what the money will be spent on.
0:08:23 > 0:08:28Well, so many...projects benefitting.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Name some.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I wouldn't really know where to start.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Try.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38OK, well, there's the...
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Mumbai irrigation project.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Right.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45And what exactly would they be irrigating in the middle of a city?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47I mean, it's not like they can grow crops there, is it?
0:08:47 > 0:08:51No, it's to irrigate the...
0:08:51 > 0:08:53children.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55And why would they do that?
0:08:55 > 0:08:59To...to keep them cool?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Cos it's really hot out there, so they spray them down each morning,
0:09:02 > 0:09:06and that keeps their temperatures down...
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Aaah!
0:09:09 > 0:09:13I know about the whore.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14OK.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15Jamie told me.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16OK.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18This is a new low, even for you.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23Look, Beth, if you're worrying about Little Dinesh, don't.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25He's sharp, he's streetwise, he's a survivor...
0:09:25 > 0:09:27He's the kid from the curry house!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Jamie told you that too, then?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Orphans are going to die because you want sex!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34OK, please can you not shout that in a park?!
0:09:34 > 0:09:37OK? And they're not going to die.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41The majority will just continue to suffer.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43- Fine(!)- Good.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Let's see how your sponsors feel about this, shall we?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Your parents gave you £100, let's start with them.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53No, no, no. OK, OK, what if I was to cut you in?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55You can have whatever's in the bucket.
0:09:55 > 0:10:00That money's going to charity, and you are running that race.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02And you're going to wear this when you do it.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19How on earth did you manage to get me pregnant?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- Do you think I should straighten up a bit?- No.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25- Oh!- Are you OK?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Yeah, I'm fine. I wish everybody would stop asking me that.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29I'm banning that question.
0:10:29 > 0:10:30Where is the exit?
0:10:32 > 0:10:34I could drive you over there if you'd like?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37I'll walk. The shops will be closing soon.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46And I think it's the minutiae that I find so fascinating.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Of course, in maritime law, there are huge legal implications
0:10:48 > 0:10:51in distinguishing between flotsam and jetsam.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54I mean, it's amazing what gets lost at sea.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Of course, the key is to chuck enough jetsam overboard
0:11:02 > 0:11:04before you sink, and then everything becomes flotsam.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Oh, very funny, James.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Good for you.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12James, can I tear my wife away from you for a moment?
0:11:12 > 0:11:13If you must.
0:11:13 > 0:11:18Can't have you boring her all afternoon!
0:11:18 > 0:11:21No, James was hardly boring me at all.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Well...perhaps a little during the maritime law section,
0:11:24 > 0:11:28but, many times, we strayed into interesting conversation.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Well, if you'll excuse me,
0:11:32 > 0:11:34I must go and grease the wheels of benevolence.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35You grease away, James.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Having fun?
0:11:40 > 0:11:44James says I should consider returning to practise.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Really? And would that be his practice, by any chance?
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Oh, how did you guess?
0:11:48 > 0:11:52He said he could smooth the way for me.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Well, lucky you.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56But I think he's only interested in my excellent legal mind.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57Naturally.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04Talking of which, I think we should go somewhere a little more private
0:12:04 > 0:12:05to discuss my credentials.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Mmm, very interesting.
0:12:48 > 0:12:49Here, let me help with that.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Oh, thanks.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Just go, just go!
0:13:40 > 0:13:43What is it? Do you want to stop holding hands?
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Oh, it's coming!
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Oh. Oh, OK.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Er, OK, calm down. Are you sure it's not indigestion?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Jamie, it's coming. You need to take me to hospital.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Ow! OK! I can do that!
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- Ow...- Agh!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Ow!
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- LIFT:- 'Please mind the door.' - OK, it's going to be fine.
0:14:07 > 0:14:12Just one question, can you remember which floor we were on?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14It was three, I think.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Three or six.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Oooohh!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23I think my waters just broke.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Yeah, let's hope it's that.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34- Thanks. Um...- No, just...
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Oh! It wasn't on this floor.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25No, no, I think it was.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Oh! Aah!
0:15:26 > 0:15:31Well, maybe if I use the thingy, it will do...
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Ah!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Did you see any lights flash?
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Come on, it's in here somewhere.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42Jamie, seriously, it wasn't this floor.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Ooh!
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Come on, come on!
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Ooh... Ah...
0:15:58 > 0:16:01No, it's fine. I've got enough now, thanks.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04For God's sake, what's wrong with you, people?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Haven't you got notes?!
0:16:06 > 0:16:08You can donate online, you know!
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Oh, where are we?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21I don't know.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Didn't we come this way?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27I thought this was the way back to the main shops.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29OK, that's it. I'm not moving anymore.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31We can't have it here.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35I'm not going to make it in time. This baby's coming now.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37But what about the hospital?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39You go if you want. I'm not moving anymore.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Oh!
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Ooh! Aah!
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Oh... Ah...
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Why now, Keith?- I didn't plan it.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Oh, no kidding! Jesus, if it wasn't hard enough.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56And there's a baby on the way!
0:16:56 > 0:16:58People are depending on you, do you understand that?
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Yes, but I just looked at Paul Morgan
0:17:00 > 0:17:03offering me less for more, and I couldn't do it.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05What was Paul Morgan doing, making you offers?
0:17:05 > 0:17:06He's my supervisor now.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08That lanky git got a promotion?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Yeah, three months ago.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Why didn't you tell me?
0:17:11 > 0:17:12What would have been the point?
0:17:12 > 0:17:16- Does this hurt? - Ow, yeah. Yes. And yes!
0:17:16 > 0:17:17I think it's broken.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20We're going to have to call the mountain rescue people.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21No! I don't want them coming out here,
0:17:21 > 0:17:24thinking I'm some knob who doesn't know what he's doing.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25Oh, OK. We'll just stay here, then,
0:17:25 > 0:17:28for a few weeks on this mountain until it heals,
0:17:28 > 0:17:31and I'll build us a lean-to and befriend some of the sheep(!)
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Just give me a minute!
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Ooh...
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Yes, ambulance, it's my girlfriend...
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Well, no, she's not my girlfriend, she's my friend, but...
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Jamie, for God's sake!
0:17:47 > 0:17:50OK, look, she's giving birth, OK? A woman is giving birth...
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Aaaah!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Yep, that was her...
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I don't know how far advanced!
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Oooeeeewww!
0:17:59 > 0:18:03Oh! Something is definitely going on down there.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Oooeeeewww!
0:18:05 > 0:18:08You're just going to have to go and ask for your job back.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I can't, I can't do that.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- Yes, you can. You'll just have to swallow your pride.- No, I can't.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Yes, you bloody can. You go back in there...
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Sandra! I punched him...twice.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23The deal is, I take redundancy and he won't press the assault charges.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Oh, God...
0:18:28 > 0:18:33Aaaaaaaah!
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Yeah, I thought you might react that way.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38MOBILE RINGS
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Hello, Jamie, we're just in the middle of something here.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44- Can I call you back? - 'No! You can't!'
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Why? What's happening?
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- Aaaah!- The baby's coming.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48'Are you at the hospital?'
0:18:48 > 0:18:51No, we're in a car park. Laura's on the phone to the doctor, but I need some help.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- What kind of help?- 'I don't know, just somebody to talk me through it.'
0:18:54 > 0:18:57OK, OK, calm down, calm down. How far along is she?
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- I don't know.- 'Is she fully dilated?' - I don't know!
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Jamie, they need to talk to you. Jamie!
0:19:03 > 0:19:04'Jamie, talk to me!'
0:19:04 > 0:19:07- I don't...- 'Are you listening to me? What the hell are you doing?'
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Where's the ambulance?!
0:19:09 > 0:19:11OK, can everybody just give me a break?
0:19:11 > 0:19:14I don't know what's going on!
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Sandra, give me the damn phone.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Jamie, it's your dad.
0:19:22 > 0:19:23Aaaaaah!
0:19:23 > 0:19:27'Now, listen, you need to take a deep breath and go to Laura
0:19:27 > 0:19:29'and start nodding like you know what you're doing.'
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Now, I know you're scared.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Yes, definitely!
0:19:33 > 0:19:36'But this isn't about you, it's about her.'
0:19:36 > 0:19:39It doesn't matter that you don't know what you're doing.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43The important thing is that you look like you know what you're doing.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45'That's all she needs from you now.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48'Sorry, son, but life's going to be like this from now on.'
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Truth is, most of the time, I have no idea what I'm doing.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55But when people are depending on you, you can't let them know that.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57You've just got to plant your feet and do your best.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00'Now, repeat after me.'
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Don't worry, I can handle this.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Don't worry, I can handle this.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07'Now say, "It's going to be fine."'
0:20:07 > 0:20:09It's going to be fine.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Does she look like she's going for it?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Aaaaaaaah!
0:20:14 > 0:20:15A bit.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17'OK.'
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Now, to sell this, you're going to have to hang up.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Say you've got to go and help Laura get through this.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27I'm going to go. I'm going to help Laura get through this.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29'Good.'
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Tell me not to worry, you know what to do.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Don't worry, I know what to do.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Good luck, son.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Thanks.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Hi, I'm Jamie. I'm the boyfriend.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I'm with her now.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Tell me what to do.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Is that how you really feel?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Only about 80% of the time.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- OK, are you ready to push?- No.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09Push anyway!
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Aaaaah!
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Aaaaah!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Why are you screaming?
0:21:17 > 0:21:21I don't know. It just feels right!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Remind me never to eat here.
0:21:35 > 0:21:42BOTH: Aaaaaah!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44I'm just empathising.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Are you all right?
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Yeah, that's good.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- Yeah?- Yeah, I feel like we're getting somewhere.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- That's encouraging.- Yeah.
0:22:09 > 0:22:15BOTH: Aaaaaaah!
0:22:15 > 0:22:17OK, OK, I can see something.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21It's a baby!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23What were you expecting, a golden retriever?!
0:22:23 > 0:22:25OK, sorry.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Aaaaah!
0:22:34 > 0:22:35BABY CRIES
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- Oh, my God.- Oh, my God!
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Oh, God!
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Oh, God!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Oh, God!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46God!
0:23:06 > 0:23:12I'm a grandmother! Aaaarrggh! Ha ha ha!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Ha ha ha!
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Shiiiit!
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Yep, that's your mother!
0:23:30 > 0:23:32I'll be back for the rest later.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44BABY CRIES
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Oh, fuck.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58I don't suppose you could carry me up there?
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Beth, what are you...?
0:25:04 > 0:25:06You couldn't do it.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09No, I couldn't walk up those stairs.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I'm proud of you.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Thanks?
0:25:14 > 0:25:18I'd better take the money, though,
0:25:18 > 0:25:19just in case you feel weak again.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Uh...
0:25:25 > 0:25:27You're doing a good thing.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Yep. It feels good.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32C'mon.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35I suppose we could spend a bit of the money on a takeaway.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- Yeah?- Yeah, I was thinking maybe a curry.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Might get a reduction with the T-shirt.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Wow, makes it all worthwhile(!)
0:25:49 > 0:25:51They're not picking up.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00MOBILE BEEPS
0:26:03 > 0:26:05'You have one new message.'
0:26:05 > 0:26:07'Hi, can you call me? You're grandparents.'
0:26:19 > 0:26:21You're my hero, Keith, do you know that?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Yeah.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25I hope you broke Paul Morgan's nose.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27I made his lip bleed.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Good.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32- Aah!- Does your ankle hurt?
0:26:32 > 0:26:35No, I've got one of my knackers trapped on your shoulder.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Oh, how's that?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40- Yeah.- Good.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Jamie, are you going to cry again?
0:26:45 > 0:26:47No.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52It's just this whole birth thing, it's been really difficult for me.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56Oh, God, is this what it's going to be like?
0:26:56 > 0:26:58OK, are we all ready in there?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Not really.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd