0:00:02 > 0:00:04Maybe she needs winding.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06SQUELCHING Or changing.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10One doesn't like to bandy around terms like mentally incompetent.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11Wallet!
0:00:12 > 0:00:15- Daddy, I got the job. - What job?- Your job, actually.
0:00:15 > 0:00:19- Maybe you could get a job for your dad, Jamie?- No, I couldn't.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23- I'm sacking you.- So you and Laura?
0:00:23 > 0:00:25- No!- They're not together.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28- What?!- Nothing.
0:00:30 > 0:00:39This programme contains some strong language
0:00:39 > 0:00:41SHE SIGHS
0:00:45 > 0:00:48SHE SIGHS PHONE RINGS
0:00:48 > 0:00:50- 'Hi.'- Jamie, hi. Are you busy?
0:00:50 > 0:00:54- 'Kind of.'- Right. I was just thinking about taking Emily to the park.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Oh, right. Can you manage on your own?
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Yeah, of course, I can manage,
0:00:59 > 0:01:03I just thought it might be nice to have the company. For Emily.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Look, I can't. I've got... transport problems at the moment.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12You're bloody parasites! It's not fair! There's only three payments left!
0:01:12 > 0:01:15OK, look, love, you'll have to let go.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16They can't take it if you're lying on it.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18- I'll call you later. - Don't just stand there!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Keith, grab a bumper.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Whoa! Whoa! Eh!
0:01:21 > 0:01:24OK, Mum, don't kick the bailiffs. It's not going to help.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28I'm going to take your tow truck, see how you like it, you bastards!
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- Oh. - Everything all right?
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Er...that was Jamie. I think their car's being repossessed.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38I'm just going to go on my own. I can do that.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42- Do you want to come? - I can't.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45I mean, look.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- Can't you see the tremor? - Not really.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- Well, neurological symptoms are...subtle.- You'll be fine.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Just come for a walk.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56- HE SIGHS - The park's very rough, Laura.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58A lot of...daytime people.
0:01:59 > 0:02:04Well, the unemployed, the feckless, the potentially violent.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05They're not all like that.
0:02:05 > 0:02:10No, no, I'm sure there are lots of talented, dedicated people there too.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14Perhaps an artist studying the light on the dog dirt bins
0:02:14 > 0:02:17or a botanist in search of a rare orchid
0:02:17 > 0:02:19that flourishes on used condoms.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Or maybe just some mothers out with their children
0:02:22 > 0:02:25because they're not recluses.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26- I'm not a recluse. - Fine.
0:02:26 > 0:02:32Well, you stay here if you want, but life is going on out there and I am going to grab it.
0:02:40 > 0:02:45- I didn't think bailiffs carried Tasers.- The poor guy said he feared for his life.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Africa, Asia, South America, we should cut all foreign aid
0:02:48 > 0:02:50and just let them sort it out for themselves.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- Are you hearing this guy? - Beth, leave it.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56It's all just a geo-political exercise in countering Chinese influence anyway.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58It's such a waste of capital.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Excuse me, but I think you are massively out of touch
0:03:01 > 0:03:04with what's actually happening in those countries.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08- Strap yourself in, this is about to get dull.- No, I know what you think.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13You think sending millions of dollars to corrupt kleptocratic governments is a price worth paying
0:03:13 > 0:03:16so long as 30 quid gets through to dig a well.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18- Oh, my God! It's a male Beth. - Beth, we're going to go.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21That is a hopelessly superficial analysis of development funding
0:03:21 > 0:03:23and how dare you assume you know what I think.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28All right then, Kofi Annan, let's hear your insights.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36DOG BARKS
0:03:41 > 0:03:45- All right? - Hi.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- Look at her, she's dead sweet. - Thanks.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- What's her name? - Emily.- Aww!
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Hey, gives us a look at your phone.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- Is this the new one? - Yeah.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Oh, look at the photos.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- Oh, is that the dad?! - Yeah.- He's well fit.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04- He's not as fit as Ryan. - Who's Ryan?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- He's Jayden's dad. - You wish.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Fat Pete Hindle's Jayden's dad. - I never shagged Fat Pete.
0:04:09 > 0:04:14- Kerry, I'll take that lighter off you!- Do one, Mum.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Uh,... yeah, I should... I need to get going.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19So if I could just get my phone back?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- No can do, mate. - DOG WHINES
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Leave the dog alone!
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Sorry, can I...
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Ah-ah! Where's the sim go on these?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- It's my phone. - It's a mini-sim, innit.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- You can get an adapter.- I don't want the sim, I want the phone.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38- Are you mugging me? - Yeah. Piss off, Kate Middleton.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41But I...
0:04:41 > 0:04:43DOG BARKS
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Oi!
0:04:50 > 0:04:54Wait! We was just messing with ya.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Oh, thanks!
0:05:00 > 0:05:05- Obviously, I'm going to need a tenner for it.- But it's my phone!
0:05:05 > 0:05:10- I can't go back with nuffin.- Oh, well, I've only got a 20. Yeah.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Cheers. Well, I'd get off it I were you,
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Keeley had her eye on your buggy.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19- Thank you. - BIKE BELL RINGS
0:05:21 > 0:05:26All right, Alan, just thought I'd get some exercise.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29It's all right, Laura told me about the car.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33In fact, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Shall we?
0:05:33 > 0:05:34Yeah, I'll just...
0:05:34 > 0:05:36It's the pedal...
0:05:38 > 0:05:41HE GROANS
0:05:41 > 0:05:45HE MUTTERS
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Come in.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Here you are, Jenny. - Thank you.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08BELL RINGS
0:06:17 > 0:06:21This would look nice on you, Kelly. It's your colour.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22I don't know.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25PHONE RINGS
0:06:25 > 0:06:30- Hello.- Hi, I'm free now. Just wondered if you wanted to meet up?
0:06:30 > 0:06:34- No, I'm busy, actually. Just with some friends.- What friends?
0:06:34 > 0:06:38- Hmm, just some new friends. OK, I have to go, bye. - BELL RINGS
0:06:45 > 0:06:47See?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50That's why I can't drive.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55Right. OK, so you pay off the loan.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59Yeah, and you get your car back, then work as my driver to pay back the debt.
0:06:59 > 0:07:05I need the transport, you need the money. And I can't drive like this.
0:07:05 > 0:07:10Erm...no. Course not. Hey, I've always fancied driving a Jag.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13You're not driving my car.
0:07:13 > 0:07:18I mean, insurance-wise it's probably simplest if we use yours?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Yeah, all right.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Ooh, one thing though.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25We shouldn't let Sandra know about our arrangement.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- She might think I was exploiting you.- Exactly.- Yes.
0:07:28 > 0:07:33- And Janet wouldn't...- Want me to be seen dead in a battered up old Astra, no.
0:07:33 > 0:07:39I was going to say, wouldn't want things to get awkward between us all.
0:07:39 > 0:07:44That too. But I have a plan. We don't tell them.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Hmm.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50THEY CHATTER
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Excuse me, are you following us?
0:08:01 > 0:08:07No! I... Yes, I am, yeah.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Can I ask why?
0:08:09 > 0:08:12It's just you seem really nice.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15I don't really know any other mums.
0:08:15 > 0:08:21- You just seemed really nice and...friendly and so I...- OK.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23- I don't really know, sorry. - OK. It's all right.
0:08:23 > 0:08:28- Oh, she's very young, isn't she? - It's only been a few weeks, hasn't it?
0:08:28 > 0:08:34- Yes. I just... I feel very... - Tired.- And alone.- Sometimes!
0:08:34 > 0:08:39- I'm just very...- Overwhelmed. - That's exactly how I feel, Jenny!
0:08:39 > 0:08:45- Oh! How do you know my name?- Kelly said it when you were in the shop.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- And that green top would suit you. - Thank you, that's what I was saying.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- See! We're just... - ALL LAUGH
0:08:52 > 0:08:58We all have quite similar colouring, we could share clothes.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Eventually, you know. - OK.
0:09:01 > 0:09:06There's a nice cafe on the corner that a lot of the mums use.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Yes, I saw you there.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11I know the one.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15So, you could join us tomorrow, if you're free.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19I would really love that.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Keith, the car's in the drive.
0:09:24 > 0:09:30- I know, I paid the release fee.- How? - With money...from my job.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- What job?!- Got a delivery job. - And they gave you money up front?!
0:09:34 > 0:09:39Yeah...erm, petrol money.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Do they not want people with vans?
0:09:41 > 0:09:46Can't you just be happy that I am working?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48- Course I am! - Right.- Oh, God!
0:09:48 > 0:09:54I was just worried that you were becoming one of those stay-at-home losers.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- PHONE RINGS - Sorry, let me get that.
0:09:57 > 0:10:02Hello? Oh, sorry, it's work.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Yeah, sorry,... where was that parcel going to?
0:10:06 > 0:10:11- What the hell are you talking about? - The parcel that I'll be delivering in my car.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Oh, is Sandra there? - That's correct.- Right.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18And what time do you want me at the...parcel place?
0:10:18 > 0:10:24- It's called a depot. - Yep, the depot, as we all call it.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Very smooth, Keith. I'm lucky MI5 didn't recruit you first.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32- Yeah. Just give me a time! - Round here in about 15 minutes?
0:10:32 > 0:10:36All right. OK. I'll see you then Al-vin.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Al-vin, yes, brilliant recovery(!)
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Yeah.
0:10:42 > 0:10:48It's Alvin...at the depot.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49He's so arrogant.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52There's no way I can meet up with him. No way.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- Oh, my God! Beth fancies him. - I do not fancy him!
0:10:56 > 0:11:00- Yeah, come on, he was a dick. - He's not a dick, he's quite clever.
0:11:00 > 0:11:06- He just needs setting straight on some things. - Oh, my God! You do fancy him!
0:11:06 > 0:11:09This is a girls chat. We're having a girls chat with Beth!
0:11:09 > 0:11:13We should do each other's make up and have pillow fights in our underwear and that.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Yeah, cos that's what girls do.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19- Why can't you pick a nice normal guy? - They're overrated.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- So you are interested in him. - I'm not interested in him.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Then don't go. - Then he'll think he's won!
0:11:24 > 0:11:27I'll just go and tell him that I'm not going.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31So you're going to meet him to tell him that you're not going to meet him.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Exactly.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37Boys are so confusing, aren't they?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Are you going to get the door?- Eh?
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Hmm.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11HE TUTS
0:12:13 > 0:12:17PHONE RINGS
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- Hiya.- 'Where are you?' - Just out.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25- 'I've got the shopping to do. How long before you're back?' - Half an hour?
0:12:25 > 0:12:30- Maybe longer, I've got an awkward package.- 'OK, just get on with it.'
0:12:30 > 0:12:33OK, bye. Love you.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- Hello? - She's a bit intense, isn't she?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Oh, she's never off my case since I stopped working.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41At least she's still interested in you.
0:12:41 > 0:12:47Janet's so tied up with her job these days...she barely notices me.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51Maybe you should do something to catch her attention? Surprise her.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55- Like what? - You could do a fake special meal.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- What's that? - It's a special meal...but fake.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Yes, I understood the words individually, I'm still not clear on the concept.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Right, you buy an expensive ready meal
0:13:06 > 0:13:09and then all the ingredients that go into that ready meal.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- Right. - You bung the ready meal in the oven
0:13:12 > 0:13:15and whilst it's cooking you chop up the ingredients.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18You bin half, you mess up the kitchen with the rest. Bingo!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20It looks like you've made it
0:13:20 > 0:13:26and it doesn't even matter what it tastes like because you have made the effort.
0:13:28 > 0:13:34- I might try that. Oh, and I'm buying you this.- Ah, that's very generous.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I need my driver to look smart.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Fancy some lunch? - I know a pub.
0:13:43 > 0:13:49- You've played before then. - Snooker mainly, but it's a...transferable skill.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56I...see that tremor's settled down too.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00- Oh, yes!- Hmm. - Another game?
0:14:00 > 0:14:05- We're on next. - We've got another quid down, mate.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- I don't see it. - Hey...hang on.
0:14:08 > 0:14:16Wait, perhaps these gentlemen will give me the chance to win my pound back off them. Hmm?
0:14:16 > 0:14:20How do these go again? Hmm?
0:14:22 > 0:14:25I miss the Land Rover, the Audi's so low.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- God knows how we're going to do picnics.- Yeah, that must be hard.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30I told Dan we need a 4x4.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Not that he's ever around for picnics. It's work, work, work.
0:14:34 > 0:14:41- He's either with patients or sleeping.- Or sleeping with patients!
0:14:45 > 0:14:49So tell us about Emily's daddy, what does he do? Oh, let me guess, go-getting lawyer?
0:14:49 > 0:14:52- SHE LAUGHS - No.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54I bet it's something mad like architect.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58- No, he's studying. - Where's he studying?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- College. - Which college?
0:15:01 > 0:15:07Er...sixth-form college.
0:15:09 > 0:15:14- He's doing his A-levels. - Oh...well.
0:15:14 > 0:15:19- I'm going to get some more coffee. Laura, will you give me a hand? - Thank you! Yes! I mean, yes.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I will. OK.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Ignore the Yummies, they don't even live in the real world.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- I'm sure they're really nice. - Well, they could be a lot nicer,
0:15:27 > 0:15:31considering they're sponsored to piss around all day and shop.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Some of us have got real jobs. You work, right?
0:15:34 > 0:15:36No, not yet, but I am thinking about it.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38You should, because then you'd be a lot more like me,
0:15:38 > 0:15:42exhausted and constantly on the edge of a nervous breakdown!
0:15:42 > 0:15:47Actually, I've got half a day off on Tuesday, you should come to mine.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51- Oh, that would be lovely. - Great, about two?- OK.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Yes!
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Let's go again. Double or quits?
0:16:03 > 0:16:06We're £400 down, Alan, I think we should just call it a day.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- What are you talking about? We're hustling them.- Are we?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Of course! Why else would you be deliberately losing?
0:16:12 > 0:16:15I've been trying to win.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Oh. Well, we can't stop now.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Erm...
0:16:23 > 0:16:27Erm...double or quits...again?
0:16:27 > 0:16:31- Show us the money then. - Well, how about my car as collat...
0:16:31 > 0:16:36Whoa! No! Wouldn't your wife, Sandra...
0:16:36 > 0:16:39She's going to kill you if you lose that.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43The way I see it, it's my Jaguar in that car park,
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I can bet it if I want to.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Yes, you may as well put those away, gents. You won't be needing them.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Oh, I see.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13God! Argh!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Argh! Grab the money, Alan!
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- You dropped your keys. - Give us the money now!
0:17:25 > 0:17:30- Lads, lads, lads, calm down. - Give us the fucking money! - We did actually win the game.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32- Not the time, Alan. - Tell you what, £100 a headlight.
0:17:32 > 0:17:39- Don't touch the headlights. - Ah! Look at that.
0:17:39 > 0:17:44- My Jag! It cost me a lot of money. - Oh, no, Sandra's going to go mental.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- No, please, guys. - SIREN
0:17:47 > 0:17:51What the fuck you doing to my car? CLATTERING
0:17:51 > 0:17:55SIREN
0:17:55 > 0:17:58In the front, Alan! In the front!
0:17:58 > 0:18:00TYRES SCREECH
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- OK, I'm going to go now. - You've been saying that for two hours.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12- Just relax. We both know this is a date now.- It's not a date!
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Come on, we clearly like each other.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19I think you're very pretty and we both know I'm good looking.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21In a posh, overbite sort of way.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Any self-possessed girl would have kissed me by now.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27You haven't because you've got princess syndrome.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- Princess syndrome?- You think the man should make the first move so you don't have to take responsibility.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- I do not!- Then why haven't you made the first move?
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Who says there's going to be any move?
0:18:35 > 0:18:41There aren't cos you've got these regressive views about women which is why I'm not going to kiss you.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Although...for the record, I would really like to.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Yeah...well...
0:18:53 > 0:18:58I can't stand him! He's just so... Urgh!
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- But we have this...sick connection. - Girls' chat.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05Look, Beth, don't let politics get in the way of happiness.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09- Maybe you're right.- It's like when I tried to get off with that really fit racist girl.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13I saw beyond her beliefs to an incredibly well-toned body.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- You're spoiling it now.- Just forget about him, he's not right for you.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20He thinks he is! He's invited me to stay over at his house.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Look, he's rich, he is handsome.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27I say go ride that muscular posh boy like you're in some cheap airport novel.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29- He's not asked me there for that. - Don't go.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33You disagree with him on everything, why would you want to sleep with him?
0:19:33 > 0:19:39I'm not going to sleep with him! And we agree on lots of things, he just hasn't realised that...yet.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- Are you saying you can change him? - No!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Well, yeah.
0:19:45 > 0:19:50- What? Like you're a relationship expert all of a sudden.- OK, fine!
0:19:50 > 0:19:54- Do what you want.- I will! And I don't need your permission!
0:19:57 > 0:20:01- She really needs some female friends.- God, yes!
0:20:01 > 0:20:05OK, so we have got the saucepans in the sink,
0:20:05 > 0:20:09we've got the mixed herbs on the chopping board and on the floor
0:20:09 > 0:20:12and the food packaging is in the outside bin.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13- I think I'm all set. - Oh, no.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18There! Yes. Now you are.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22Thanks for this, Keith, really.
0:20:22 > 0:20:28Oh, before I forget... your half of yesterday's winnings.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32I tell you what, there's the car loan, done.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37- OK, thanks. - Hey. If you ever need a lift though.
0:20:37 > 0:20:42Yeah, I think I might try and walk more. Do me good.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47- I'll get off then.- Yeah.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- PHONE RINGS - Yeah. Oh.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52One minute. Hello.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Oh, hi. How late?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58But I've cooked supper.
0:20:58 > 0:21:02Of course it won't keep, it's all been freshly prepared.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06No, that's fine. I'll just bin it!
0:21:08 > 0:21:09- She's blown you out?! - Unbelievable.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14A big presentation. That's what I used to say, for God's sake.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17And you've spent all day slaving over a stove, for all she knows.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21All that effort... I might have made.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- ALAN SIGHS - It's such a shame!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- Shall we keep the candles? - Er...yeah.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43- Probably lose the roses, though. - Yeah. - PHONE RINGS
0:21:43 > 0:21:49- Ah. It's Sandra. Hiya, San. - 'Are you nearly back yet?'
0:21:49 > 0:21:51No, I've got a special delivery.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53'God's sake! I've got dinner going cold here.'
0:21:53 > 0:21:57Oh, right, I didn't realise you were cooking.
0:21:57 > 0:22:02- Will it keep in the oven?- 'No, it won't keep in the bloody oven.'
0:22:02 > 0:22:04No, all right then, well, I'll pick something up whilst I'm out.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09- 'You do that!'- OK. - 'Hope you choke on it!'- Bye-bye.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21Beth, I must admit, I did have an ulterior motive for inviting you here.
0:22:21 > 0:22:27Right. I wondered if this was about...that.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- Well, it is. So... - Just a second.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41# And if one green bottle should accidentally fall
0:22:41 > 0:22:43# There'll be... PHONE RINGS
0:22:43 > 0:22:47Oh, it's work. Don't worry. Thanks.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50- Where were we? - Seven.
0:22:50 > 0:22:56Oh, OK. Shall we just skip to one as I'm not really sure what they're getting out of it anyway.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02- Yeah. - # One green...bottle
0:23:02 > 0:23:05- PHONE RINGS - Sorry.- No, it's fine.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Yes. Yes, no.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11SHE MOUTHS
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- Oh, I made us some muffins. - You bloody what?!
0:23:18 > 0:23:22Erm...I made us some muffins.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25- Are you an idiot?! - I...
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Well, you'd better bloody reschedule then.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33Well, find out when he is sodding available! Jesus!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37- More coffee? - Oh, yeah, thanks.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Right.
0:23:46 > 0:23:51- Is instant OK?- Fine. - Well, sort it out, Melanie!
0:23:51 > 0:23:57Melanie, do not put me on hold or I will set fire to your fucking house.
0:23:57 > 0:23:58OK?
0:24:03 > 0:24:08- SHE SIGHS - Yummy! Mmm!
0:24:12 > 0:24:16I'm just going to... get some condoms.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18OK.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Everything OK?
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Yep.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Just a moment.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59OK, no. No, no, no!
0:24:59 > 0:25:01SHE SIGHS
0:25:01 > 0:25:04PHONE RINGS
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Sorry. Erm...
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Gisele. Gisele, slow down.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13What's wrong with your father?
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Well, if he's unconscious, what's the point in going to talk to him?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Oh, OK, fine.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Honestly, Brazilians! It's all family, family, family!
0:25:25 > 0:25:29- SHE SIGHS - Laura, I feel awful asking you this,
0:25:29 > 0:25:31but could you watch William for a couple of hours?
0:25:31 > 0:25:38- Oh. Well...I suppose I could. - Brilliant! Great! OK.
0:25:38 > 0:25:43So, he'll be no trouble at all. I've just got to find his inhalers.
0:25:43 > 0:25:50- Oh. - There you go. So... OK. Hello! William, oh, you lucky boy!
0:25:50 > 0:25:54You are going to get to spend the whole day with lovely Laura!
0:25:54 > 0:25:57- Whole day?- There you go. - I thought it was just for a couple of hours.
0:25:57 > 0:26:03Gisele will probably be here soon and my husband gets home at nine, so anyway...
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Listen, we must do this properly, soon.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- I should call you, though? - Absolutely. Yep. Bye.
0:26:09 > 0:26:16- CHILD SOBS - Oh, I know. I know.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25- What the hell is this? - It's a horse.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29You really haven't been to the country before, have you?
0:26:29 > 0:26:35- You hunt foxes?- Seriously, you want to talk about fox hunting now?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40It's over, Jolyon. I'll see myself out.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43PHONE RINGS
0:26:44 > 0:26:48Keith, are you around at the minute? I could really use a lift.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51No, sorry, love, I'm on another job for at least an hour.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Oh, OK, so I'll see you later.
0:27:00 > 0:27:05- Oh, bit messy. - Ooh! Smashing!
0:27:07 > 0:27:10- That's good. - PHONE RINGS
0:27:10 > 0:27:14Hang on.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18- San, I've got my hands full here. - 'So I see!
0:27:18 > 0:27:21'You lying, ice-cream-faced bastard!'
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- 'Hi.'- Hi, Jamie. Emily and I have made a lovely new friend
0:27:29 > 0:27:32and I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to come over?
0:27:32 > 0:27:37Sorry, I can't, I'm out with my mates.
0:27:37 > 0:27:42- Oh. OK. - BABIES GURGLE
0:27:44 > 0:27:48You definitely should have boffed him, Beth. That house is massive!
0:27:48 > 0:27:53- Why did you have to bring Mike? - Hey, I'm glad you didn't boff him.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56Stop saying boff! I wanted a lift, not post-match analysis.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Ohhh! Don't worry, it's just us girls.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09- SHE SIGHS - Daddy's out with his mates!
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Hmm. That's good, isn't it?
0:28:12 > 0:28:15- Mummy doesn't need mates. - THUMPING
0:28:15 > 0:28:18Mummy's got all of this(!)
0:28:18 > 0:28:22SHE SIGHS HE LAUGHS
0:28:31 > 0:28:34You'll be gone all day then?!
0:28:34 > 0:28:39- That's not a problem is it, Supermum?- No. I've got it all covered.
0:28:39 > 0:28:40It's all about planning.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Now if there's any problems, give me a call.
0:28:42 > 0:28:46- Jamie, don't worry, we're not idiots.- Well, I'm not an idiot.
0:28:46 > 0:28:50- Where the hell is she?- She's with Alan? Alan?!- Alan's not safe!
0:28:53 > 0:28:56Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd