0:00:02 > 0:00:03- I wondered if you'd come to my 18th. - You're not my boyfriend.
0:00:03 > 0:00:05We're just two people who had a kid.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09Well, if you fancy going for a drink sometime, just give me a call.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29- I was kind of surprised you called me.- Me too!
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Oh, God, I'm sorry.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37It's fine.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41PHONE BUZZES Oh, one second. Hello?
0:00:41 > 0:00:43- PANTING:- So, how's it going?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Fine. I can't really talk.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49We're going to keep this to essentials. Is she fit?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51- What are you doing? - Kettlebells.
0:00:51 > 0:00:5520 minutes a day and I'll be shaped like a Soviet superhero.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Got them on this deal with this muscle supplement.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02'That doesn't sound safe.'
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Of course it's safe, they're Russian.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07OK, you probably shouldn't be doing that, but let's talk later.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10OK. But tell her you're on the rebound so it's casual sex only.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12I'm not doing that.
0:01:12 > 0:01:13Just let me know if she's more than a four.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16If she's more than a four, just hang up.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Bye. Sorry.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21- So was that your parachute call? - My what?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23You know, in case it's going badly,
0:01:23 > 0:01:26- your mate calls with a sudden emergency and then you can bail. - Do people do that?
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Oh, yeah, me and my mate Julie have a whole system.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31If we're out together, we do the straws code.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33What's the straws code?
0:01:36 > 0:01:41Left means, "Not keen." Right means, "I really like this guy."
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Ahh, it's very clever.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Then there's this one. That's, "Get me the hell out of here."
0:01:48 > 0:01:54- PHONE RINGS - Oh. Oh, look, it's Julie.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56So you going to bail?
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Hi. He's all right, I suppose.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Bit nervous, and he threw his drink at me.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08But he's cute, so I'm going to give him a chance.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10He's definitely paying, though.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Keith, are you watching her? Keith?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Yep, she's fine.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Are you sure now? She hasn't been kidnapped?
0:02:25 > 0:02:26When did you take her?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29About five minutes ago. Come on, get up.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30She needs to go for a stroll.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Ah, now, come on, I'm about to watch the match.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34Where's Jamie anyway?
0:02:34 > 0:02:36He's out having a bit of fun, for once.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Why does he get to have all the fun? I don't get to have any fun.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41You could have a bit of fun helping me
0:02:41 > 0:02:45- clean the grout out in the shower, if you like?- I'll get the buggy.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52So I... I had fun.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Yeah, me too.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Well, there's this gig coming up at my local.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05A few of us are going. Me, Julie.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Right.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09You could come along too?
0:03:09 > 0:03:15Oh, right, yeah. I guess I could do that.
0:03:16 > 0:03:21Have you seen me, Jamie? I'm quite a good-looking girl.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24And I'm funny, and smart.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Seriously, would you make me work this hard to get a second date?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I absolutely would not.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30There you go.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- And I'm taller than him. - I'm right here. Just...
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Yeah, I'd love to go, thanks.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Sorry, I'm just not good at the whole dating thing.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Well, if it goes badly, I'll just ditch you
0:03:43 > 0:03:45and get off with one of the band.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48I'm kidding.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50OK!
0:03:50 > 0:03:54- Would you like to add a tip? - I absolutely would not.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Do you do cashback?
0:03:56 > 0:04:01Yeah, go on, go on, that's... Go on, shoot, shoot!
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Oh, she is beautiful. What's her name?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Knobhead! Oh, sorry.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Your daughter, she's very cute.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Thank you. I'm actually the grandfather.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Oh, right. Have you ever considered modelling?
0:04:20 > 0:04:24No. Well, I suppose... When I was younger, I suppose...
0:04:24 > 0:04:25For her.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Zara Lang. I'm a model agent.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- Oh!- And she's gorgeous. Yes!
0:04:33 > 0:04:36So, she could make some cash then?
0:04:36 > 0:04:41Oh, yeah. Photoshoots are usually a couple of hundred, plus the chaperone fee.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- I'd get a fee? - If you're the chaperone.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- I would be the chaperone. - Then you'd get the fee.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Why not discuss it with your family and get back to me?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53OK, right, cheers.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57I'm available too if they needed like a family group thing?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01That's, er, good to know.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05You and me, kid.
0:05:05 > 0:05:0714...
0:05:07 > 0:05:1115.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15There's a lot of weird ingredients in here.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I know, it's fantastic. I've only been on them for a week
0:05:18 > 0:05:21and I can feel something's definitely happening.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23I've just got so much more stamina.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Aren't there usually side effects with these things?
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Yeah, men are intimidated, women find you irresistible.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Plus water retention, mood swings and liver failure.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Nah, these are high-end supplements. The ones that Vladimir Putin uses.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Argh, argh, here comes the lactic build-up.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43So, how did it go with Hannah?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Yeah, did you let her know you were on the rebound
0:05:46 > 0:05:48and only up for a bit of casual sex?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50It wasn't like that. She's a nice girl.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Oh, she's just not that into you.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53Probably prefers a man with a little bit of bulk.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55No. We got on really well.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Hmm, probably just being polite.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01It's best not to embarrass yourself by chasing her. It's undignified.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Actually, she's asked me out again.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05To a gig, with her mates.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06- Oh, female mates?- Yes.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- We should probably go to that.- We?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Oh, not if he's not ready, we shouldn't.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14- We? You're coming too? - OK, if you want me there, I'll come.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Jamie, it's fine, we're coming.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20It'll be a great opportunity for me to test-drive my new body as well.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21What's this, Keith?
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Oh, some woman collared us in the street today.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Said we should consider Emily for modelling work.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29And what did you say?
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I told her where she could stick it, of course.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Why the hell did you do that?
0:06:36 > 0:06:42Um, because, you know, it's wrong, isn't it?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44People exploiting their kids.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46And I thought you'd be against it.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48What?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Against getting a load of money for Emily's future,
0:06:50 > 0:06:52and having some lovely photographs taken?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Of course I'm not against it, you eejit.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Oh, well, good news!
0:06:57 > 0:07:00I signed her up, she's already got a casting.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- You signed her up without consulting me?- But you said...
0:07:03 > 0:07:07And then you lied to me too! God Almighty, Keith.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Hey, how are you? - All right, sweetheart.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- I'll just go and get the big bag. - OK.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32We should tell her. It is her baby.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Let's see if Emily actually gets it first
0:07:35 > 0:07:37and then it'll be a nice surprise.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41But I feel bad about not telling her.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43You had no problem not telling me, so keep your mouth shut.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45There we are.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Are you sure you're OK looking after her today?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51We love spending time with her.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Yeah, we might take her for a walk, actually.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58It's nice to see someone putting the effort in.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01You do know that you're looking after her on Friday?
0:08:01 > 0:08:02I can't Friday, I'm going out.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Well, where are you going that's
0:08:06 > 0:08:08so important that you can't look after Emily?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Just to a gig with some new friends.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12New friends? What new friends?
0:08:12 > 0:08:16Actually, a friend. Hannah. I met her at my 18th.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19You'd have met her too if you'd stuck around.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Well, you can't, it's your turn.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Well, I've already told Hannah I'm going. It's a date.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Oh!
0:08:27 > 0:08:29So you think that's OK, do you?
0:08:29 > 0:08:34To just go out on dates whilst I'm stuck at home with our daughter?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Well, yeah, actually, I do.
0:08:36 > 0:08:37Well, I'm not sure that I do.
0:08:38 > 0:08:43- Right, so I can't even go on dates now?- Nope.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47Can't be in a relationship? Have sex with anyone ever again?
0:08:47 > 0:08:50One go on the merry-go-round and that's it for the rest of my life, is it?
0:08:50 > 0:08:54No, nope, you're absolutely right, sorry. I am being hypocritical.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59The reason I want you to baby-sit is because I have a date.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Really? - Mm. With a man.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Well, good.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Yes. It is good.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15I'm very happy for you.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23So, er, we might take her for that walk now. Say bye.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Bye.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Hi. All right?
0:09:45 > 0:09:50- Oh, she's a cutie, what's her name? - Tilly.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55Hello, Tilly. Hello, Tilly.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59JABBERS
0:10:00 > 0:10:03TILLY CRIES
0:10:03 > 0:10:04What the hell did you do?
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- Nothing, I...- Don't look at her.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Sorry. - She doesn't like direct eye contact.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- I was just... - Can't you see she's trying to focus?
0:10:13 > 0:10:18Sorry, I didn't... I... I'm sorry.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Keith.
0:10:19 > 0:10:25Ignore her, we're not all monsters. This is Kyle.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Oh, he's lovely.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29And he's a wonderful performer. Smiles on cue.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Really? - Hmm, yes,
0:10:31 > 0:10:35we just bring out Mr Happy Bear
0:10:35 > 0:10:36and the sun comes out.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Right, trick of the trade.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43We've never really done this kind of thing before.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46It's just nice to see people coming down just to have a go
0:10:46 > 0:10:49for the fun of it without any expectation of getting an actual gig.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Good for you.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Jamie, it seems, is seeing someone.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Sneaky little bastard.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Exactly. How dare he whilst I'm single and stuck at home.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06So unreasonable.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09So I'm taking action in the form of this guy.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12- Ooh, nice.- He is a non-smoker,
0:11:12 > 0:11:15homeowner, graduate professional, which is great because...
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Because he can buy you stuff.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Because I can have adult conversation.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Oh, my God, he is ancient.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- He's 30.- I know, you've really gone for the other end of the scale.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29He is a man, not a boy.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31And does this "man" know about Emily?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Not yet, shall I tell him?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- I wouldn't.- I haven't. - Good call.
0:11:38 > 0:11:44She's seeing someone? Oh, Jamie, man, I am so sorry.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46How does that make you feel?
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Feel? I don't know. You know...
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Well, not exactly great, actually.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58That's good, that's good. Open up, come on, share.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02I don't even know why I'm worrying about her.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Nothing's ever going to happen between us, she's moved on.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Selfish, selfish girl.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11And then there's Hannah, who's actually very attractive
0:12:11 > 0:12:14and who I have a lot in common with and seems to really like me.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16I mean, what's wrong with me?
0:12:16 > 0:12:21Hey, hey, there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24It's Laura. She's the one with the problem, not...
0:12:24 > 0:12:26not you.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29How many of those things have you had today?
0:12:29 > 0:12:34- I'm fine. It's just... She makes me so frustrated.- Who?
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Laura. God! Concentrate.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Sorry.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Hey, it's OK, it's OK. It's not your fault.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44It's not your fault.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- Agh.- What?
0:12:46 > 0:12:51It's my nipples, they've become really sensitive.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Well, I'm glad she didn't get it.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Those kids looked really unhappy.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01You should never have signed her up for it in the first place.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03It's just wrong making them work at that age.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Sorry. What happened to securing some money for her future
0:13:06 > 0:13:08and getting some nice photos?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Well, we haven't got either of those, have we?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13That's why I was against this from the very start.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15PHONE RINGS
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Wait.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Hello?
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Yeah.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24Oh, right.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27What, this Friday?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31OK, so, can you just wait a second, Zara?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Um, they want to see her for another casting.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Photographer thinks she'd be perfect for this poster campaign.
0:13:38 > 0:13:39No.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Yeah.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Ah, well, if it's just for a couple of photos.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47I don't see why she should miss out on that money.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Yeah, I mean, really, we owe it to her to give it another chance.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Who are we to stand in her way?
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Well, don't keep the woman waiting.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Oh, yeah, sorry. Hi, Zara, yeah, that sounds great.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06I was just relieved that you actually looked like your photo.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Ah, don't be fooled. I got here two hours early
0:14:08 > 0:14:10and set up the lighting to make me look better.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Well, it's working.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Thank you.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19So you were saying you're on a gap year?
0:14:21 > 0:14:25Yeah, I didn't want to rush into uni.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Very wise. A couple of wrong choices and suddenly, five years later,
0:14:28 > 0:14:30you're trying to fight your way out.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32And I mean, you can't live your life for other people, can you?
0:14:32 > 0:14:36It sounds like there's a nightmare ex in the background.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Oh, yeah, it's a bit complex.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45PHONE VIBRATES
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Oh, sorry, it's just a friend checking up on me.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Tell her the food's awful.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Yours too? This is mainly bay leaves.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57I don't think it's a steak, it's someone's wallet.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59OK, well, in the spirit of not doing things
0:14:59 > 0:15:02for other people's sakes, let's not eat any more.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Yes, but let me make it up to you.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06I will cook you dinner tomorrow.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08It will not contain bay leaves and furthermore,
0:15:08 > 0:15:11we'll put a ban on discussing old relationships.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Ahh, that sounds good, I mean, after all,
0:15:13 > 0:15:17- exes are exes for a reason, right? - Exactly. And it was all their fault.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Bastards. So, what should we do now?
0:15:21 > 0:15:26Finish the wine, refuse to pay and then go and get some chips.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Oh! Done!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Gluttons for punishment, I see?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Well, we thought we'd give it another go. You never know.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40When you've done a few of these, you realise, you sort of do.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42WOMAN: Kyle, please.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Oh, that's us. Right, come on, superstar.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Here, let me give you a hand there.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50Thank you.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53All right there, now. Good luck.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57Oh, thanks. Not like we'll need it, though.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Oh, my God! So he turned up?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Yeah.- And he brought all of his hair with him.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- Yeah. - And he wasn't, like, five foot?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10No, no, he's cute.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- So what's wrong with him? - Nothing. As far as I can tell.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15He's invited me to his place for dinner.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- And it's definitely his place, not his parents'?- Yeah.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Hmmm, I wonder what it is, then.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22What what is?
0:16:22 > 0:16:25The thing that's wrong with him.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Nothing, he's just a nice guy. I think he's got potential.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31I should definitely tell him about Emily this time.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Oh, my God, what if he's one of those guys that seems nice,
0:16:34 > 0:16:37but then locks you in a basement?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40He's not one of those guys. Plus he lives in a flat.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Hmm, he may have a special cupboard.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45He's not going to have a special cupboard.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Even so, I think you should send me a text.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49BABY KYLE CRYING
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Bloody hell, someone's having an off day.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58He's usually very professional.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Oh, shame.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02WOMAN: OK, er, Tilly, please.
0:17:03 > 0:17:07Come on, Tilly, darling. Let's go get this, sweetie pie.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12TILLY CRIES
0:17:12 > 0:17:15We're just going to need five minutes, OK?
0:17:17 > 0:17:19We're ready if you want.
0:17:19 > 0:17:20WOMAN: Come through.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23This was under the chair.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- Did you? - Come on, let's go.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34I'm pretty sure they're working, I'm bulking up.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Yeah, but, it's like it's all around your waist.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39That's just a bit of water retention. That'll soon go.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42And my pecs are definitely growing.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- Except...- What?
0:17:45 > 0:17:49Don't you think they're a little bit, you know...
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Pointy?
0:17:50 > 0:17:51Exactly.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Hi, Hannah. This is Mike and Beth.
0:17:59 > 0:18:00- Hi.- No.
0:18:00 > 0:18:01All right.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Oh. Hi. This is my friend Julie.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Hi, I'm Mike.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Come on, let's get a seat.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- I think I'm in there. - I wouldn't be too sure.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26BAND PLAYS "WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL" BY ONE DIRECTION
0:18:32 > 0:18:34These lyrics are amazing. So powerful.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40So, yeah, we were going to form a band.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Seriously? Just the two of you?
0:18:43 > 0:18:47Yeah, Mike was supposed to be on keyboards and me on drums.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Oh, come on, you're front man material.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53So, Jamie, who's baby-sitting tonight?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Mum and Dad are covering.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57Ah, is Laura not available?
0:18:57 > 0:19:01Yeah, apparently she's seeing someone.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Are you OK with that?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08Yes. She's moved on, I'm moving on.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09I'm having a good time.
0:19:12 > 0:19:13So what's her name?
0:19:13 > 0:19:17Laura? Her name's Laura.
0:19:18 > 0:19:23You mean the baby, not my girl... Not my ex.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Not Laura.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28Emily.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Her name's Emily.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34I thought you meant what's Laura's name and I...
0:19:34 > 0:19:36No, I know who Laura is.
0:19:36 > 0:19:41Yeah. Yeah, we're not talking about her, so...
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Easy mistake to make, she's obviously still on your mind.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56I'm going to the bar, do you want anything?
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Beth?
0:20:05 > 0:20:09Can I just ask, is Laura your mate?
0:20:09 > 0:20:10No.
0:20:11 > 0:20:16Oh, right, I get it, so you fancy him yourself.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18No, no, I mean, what...
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Why would anyone want to get in the middle of that mess?
0:20:21 > 0:20:25He's got a kid for starters, and he's not even over Laura.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34And we're just mates. I'd be mad to get involved.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40But, hey, that's just me.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45You have fun. In fact, I'm going to go.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49OK, bye, then.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58Thank you so much for dinner. The food was amazing.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00I'm a man of hidden depths.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02DOOR BUZZER
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Here you go. I'll just, um...
0:21:11 > 0:21:14No. No way, they're supposed to be at Grandma and Grandpa's.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Yes, well, Grandma and Grandpa are stuck on the M1.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Can't you just have them for a couple more hours?
0:21:19 > 0:21:23Look, it's once a fortnight, Marcus, they are your children too.
0:21:23 > 0:21:29- Daddy, who's that lady? - Um, she's Daddy's friend.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Hello.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Daddy's got a lot of friends, hasn't he?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Look, I am sort of busy here.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Yes, so am I, just take your damn kids.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Right, OK, good night, Mummy will see you in two sleeps, OK?
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Bye-bye.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Right, straight to bed.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52I'm so... My ex is a bitch.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54It's cool.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Argh, she does this deliberately.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59I'll understand if you want to leave.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Daddy, can you read Hungry Moose?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04No.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09It's fine, go, I'll wait.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Well, I'll be two minutes.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19And we're going to be together for the rest of our lives, in a way.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22I wish I could find a way to get through to her.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Hey, hey, it is not your fault.
0:22:25 > 0:22:33This man, this man is the most loving, caring man that I know.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37And, yeah, on paper, he might not be the brightest guy in the world,
0:22:37 > 0:22:41but this heart, this heart is a good heart.
0:22:41 > 0:22:46Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Mike.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48And Laura doesn't know what she's missing.
0:22:48 > 0:22:53- They are lucky to have you in their lives.- Yep.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Even though it's never going to happen for you as a couple.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04Oh, God, it is never going to happen, is it?
0:23:04 > 0:23:11No, no! And I am so angry at her for that.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17We're just nipping to the loos.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24OK, so, let me explain.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- It's fine. - No, it's not.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29- They're cute.- No, they're not, they're a bloody nightmare.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Daddy, I want the light on.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39- Not the big light.- Go to sleep.
0:23:42 > 0:23:43I'm sorry I didn't tell you,
0:23:43 > 0:23:45it's just some people find it a real turn-off.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47No, I think it's cool.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51That's very evolved of you. Frankly, I'd have done a runner.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54No, I'm actually kind of relieved.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58I have a tiny, small confession to make myself.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59I have a daughter.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05You have a kid?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Mmm-hmm. Emily. She...
0:24:07 > 0:24:09No, no, I don't want to see your photos,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11your profile said no children.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13- So did yours. - That's different.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15How is that different?
0:24:15 > 0:24:17They're her kids, I'm just the father.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- But...- The last thing I need is another bloody child in my life.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22- But you're not...- I'll call you a cab.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25No, that's fine, I will get myself a cab.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28God, you are such a dick.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Oh, and I lied, the chicken was dry.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37I think the thing is, deep down...
0:24:38 > 0:24:43..I've actually just wanted to be with Laura and Emily and,
0:24:43 > 0:24:46you know, just be one big family.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Well, family's important.
0:24:49 > 0:24:54And all this time, I've been looking at it like it was a massive mistake.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00But really, it was the best mistake I ever made.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04That's so beautiful.
0:25:05 > 0:25:12Yeah, but now Laura's moved on and I've totally blown it with her.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16- Oh, God. - No, don't you cry, Mike.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18I think I'm going to.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21If you cry, I'll cry.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25OK, OK, I'll be strong.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29No, here it comes.
0:25:29 > 0:25:34SOBS LOUDLY
0:25:34 > 0:25:38So, I think we're heading off.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Yep, OK.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- Thanks for a lovely evening. - Thank you.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- Sorry about this. - Sorry.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52I'm just... I don't think I'm ready to move on.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Yeah, I think I'm getting that.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57I'm ready to move on.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Oh! Don't be ashamed to cry.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01What have I done, Mike?
0:26:04 > 0:26:06I think I'm developing breasts.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08THEY GASP
0:26:08 > 0:26:10DOORBELL CHIMES
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Hi.
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Hello.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20- Shall I...?- Oh, yeah.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Thanks.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26So, did you have a good weekend?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Yeah, yeah, you?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Yeah, yeah, it was good. Good.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Good.
0:26:34 > 0:26:39So, you be good, Emily. Bye-bye, bye-bye.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Hello, beautiful.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49So how was your date?
0:26:49 > 0:26:54Um, yeah, not really what I expected.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Not good then?
0:26:56 > 0:26:58- No, no, it was good, yeah, it's good.- Oh.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01- It was great. - Oh, right.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03How was yours?
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Yeah, yeah, it was good.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08It was... We had a really good time.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12SHE SIGHS
0:27:12 > 0:27:16OK, well, we'll see you next time.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19- Yeah. See you later.- OK.
0:27:19 > 0:27:20Bye.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30HE SIGHS
0:27:34 > 0:27:35DOORBELL RINGS
0:27:35 > 0:27:38KNOCKING
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Thank God you're in.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43MIKE PANTS
0:27:43 > 0:27:44I think I need professional help.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47I don't think these are the ones that Putin uses.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Let's get you to a doctor.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57OK. Can we stop off at a newsagent's?
0:27:57 > 0:27:59- I'd really like some chocolate. - Yeah.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00LAPTOP BEEPS
0:28:00 > 0:28:05Zara's just emailed, the photos are here.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Oh, magic. Bet Emily looks amazing.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Oh, God.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14Nice one, Keith!
0:28:17 > 0:28:20Laura's an idiot to let you go, do you know that?
0:28:26 > 0:28:27Yeah.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Everything sucks.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Bloody hell, you sound like Beth. It's not that bad.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Laura's got a boyfriend, I'm about to fail my exams.
0:28:44 > 0:28:48I'm going to end up with a crap job, no girlfriend and a crap life.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51It's a masked ball, you can be whoever you want to be.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Laura, you are bloody coming!
0:28:53 > 0:28:55- I'm going to head home. - It's all got to be about you, hasn't it?
0:28:55 > 0:28:59I don't even know why I try to be friends with you any more.
0:28:59 > 0:29:04# Another Saturday, another careless move
0:29:04 > 0:29:07# Tells the world that you're thinking of what to do
0:29:07 > 0:29:08# A window opens up
0:29:08 > 0:29:10# And someone calls your name
0:29:10 > 0:29:14# But I can tell you don't know how to play this game
0:29:14 > 0:29:17# I know this isn't it
0:29:18 > 0:29:21# Oo-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:29:22 > 0:29:24# You'll hit your targets someday...#