0:00:02 > 0:00:04- I have a date.- Really? - Mmm. With a man.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Thanks for a lovely evening. I just...
0:00:06 > 0:00:08don't think I'm ready to move on.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10And Laura doesn't know what she's missing.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12It is never going to happen, is it?!
0:00:26 > 0:00:29- Come back to bed, San. - I have to get on.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32I'll make it worth your while.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Oh! I doubt that!
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Jamie, are you up?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Jamie, you'll be late for work.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44- I don't care! - And Laura's dropping Emily off.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47- I don't care!- Neither do I! Get up!
0:00:47 > 0:00:49What's the point?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Everything sucks.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56He's been like this for days. Will you talk to him, Keith?
0:00:56 > 0:01:00Jamie, get up! Don't be a lazy sod!
0:01:00 > 0:01:03No, I mean actually get up and go in and talk to him, Keith.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05He's saying everything sucks!
0:01:07 > 0:01:08He's right.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12- Do you think it's all right?- 'Yeah, last time you looked this good,
0:01:12 > 0:01:14'you got pregnant. Sorry!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16'Just a couple of hours work at the bar,
0:01:16 > 0:01:18'then the rest of the ball is free.'
0:01:18 > 0:01:21I'm not going to know anyone.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- 'You'll meet people.'- I'll have nothing to talk about, though.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27All I know about is nappy rash and baby puke!
0:01:27 > 0:01:29'Laura - you are bloody coming!
0:01:29 > 0:01:31'Do you know how much these tickets cost me?'
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Er, nothing? You're on the ball committee.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36'I earned them with hard labour!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39'Bouncy castles don't just book themselves, you know!'
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Ugh! Fine, I'm coming!
0:01:41 > 0:01:44'Well, good! God, you're welcome!'
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Uh-hu-hu, ha-ha!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Ah...!
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Yeah. Oh... Yeah, I'd better go. I'd better go. OK, bye.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Bye! Bye-bye.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Who's that?- Ah, just work!
0:01:58 > 0:02:02- Ian wants me to come in today. - On a Saturday?
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Yeah. Why?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06You've been working the last five Saturdays.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08You've been sitting on the couch picking your nose
0:02:08 > 0:02:10- for the last five Tuesdays - what's your point?- Nothing!
0:02:10 > 0:02:14It's just Granny spends a lot of time at work, doesn't she?
0:02:14 > 0:02:18Oh! That's because Grandad can't seem to find a job, can he?!
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Yey!
0:02:20 > 0:02:21Hee-hee!
0:02:24 > 0:02:26I really don't want to do it.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28I don't care!
0:02:28 > 0:02:32They're on promotion this month. Besides, it's fun!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- Hit target boy, get 10% off! - Can't you get someone else?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38I really don't feel like being shot at today.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40They're perfectly safe. Look...
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Ugh!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Can I at least have a gun?
0:02:47 > 0:02:50I think shooting customers would send the wrong message.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Come on. Let's see what Grandma's up to.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Basically three pieces...
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Don't look at me like that.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05..and the coffee table.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07You lie in there...
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Yeah, you're right. I should trust her.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15Been together 20 years. What am I thinking?
0:03:17 > 0:03:18Whoo-hoo-hoo!
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Although...
0:03:20 > 0:03:2220 years is a long time.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Look at that. A recliner sofa.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- ..music in the background.- Really?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31And that's a life I could never give her.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Mmm. >
0:03:34 > 0:03:37And if I'm honest, I have got a bit lazy
0:03:37 > 0:03:40on the physical side of the relationship with your grandma. I...
0:03:43 > 0:03:45You don't need to know that.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Oh, no!
0:03:50 > 0:03:52That's her flirtatious laugh!
0:03:52 > 0:03:54I'm not having that!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Oh, that's good! But then you're lying there...
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- PHONE RINGS - Excuse me a second.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- Oh, I'll ring him back.- Oh!
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Whoops-a-daisy! There you go. Look at that bad boy!
0:04:08 > 0:04:10SANDRA CONTINUES TALKING
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Come on, Emily, let's go home.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17You don't need to see this.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- SHOT FIRES - Ha-ha!
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- SHOTS FIRE Ah!- Ah! Got ya!
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- You won't get me, you loser! - Agh! Oh! Just...!
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Have some of that!
0:04:40 > 0:04:45MUSIC: "Barber's Adagio for Strings" (THEME FROM PLATOON)
0:04:51 > 0:04:56SLOWED-DOWN SOUNDS OF ARTILLERY FIRING AND SHELLS WHISTLING
0:05:02 > 0:05:06HEART BEATS FAST
0:05:06 > 0:05:09LARGE EXPLOSION
0:05:10 > 0:05:13SOUND OF INCOMING SHELL
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Just at the end of the aisle, mate. - Thank you.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27TOY GUN FIRES REPEATEDLY
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Go...! Aagh!
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Ha!
0:05:30 > 0:05:33That's it. I'm done.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Jamie, where are you going?
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Somewhere else.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Anywhere else.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43You walk out of that door, young man,
0:05:43 > 0:05:44and you needn't think about coming back.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47TOY GUN FIRES
0:05:49 > 0:05:52POP MUSIC PLAYS IN SHOP
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Hiya!- Oh, hi!- Hello!
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Have you got any signal? I've been trying to call Jamie
0:06:02 > 0:06:04to see how Emily's doing, but there must be like
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- one phone mast in Scotland. - Can't you just have one day off?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I just want to see what she's up to.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Presumably, just lying there occasionally crapping herself,
0:06:12 > 0:06:14as usual - you're not missing anything!
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- OK!- Come on, your carriage awaits.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- Ooh, did you get us a taxi? - No, Francesca drove.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Who's Francesca?- My mate from the ball committee.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- She's a laugh, you're going to love her.- OK.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Oh, my god! These coaches only stop
0:06:28 > 0:06:32at like mental institutions and skin disease centres!
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- Laura, this is Francesca. - Hello!- Hi. Pleased to meet you!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38THEY GIGGLE
0:06:38 > 0:06:40- I love your shoes!- Oh!
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Thank you! - I almost bought those last year!
0:06:43 > 0:06:46FRANCESCA LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:06:46 > 0:06:47- Shall we go?- God, yeah,
0:06:47 > 0:06:50before we catch anything from the coach people!
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- THEY GIGGLE - Not you, Laura, obviously.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Yeah, went to the dry-cleaner's and...
0:06:57 > 0:07:00MUSIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:07:04 > 0:07:07So, I was thinking, cinema tonight, and then try and get into a club?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- I can't, I've got to work.- On what?
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Economics project.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Hey, can I borrow this? - Yeah, whatever.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16That should have been in two weeks ago. You haven't finished?
0:07:16 > 0:07:19I haven't started it! I'm...trying to do it tonight.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21There's no way you can do it in one night!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Then I guess I'm going to fail, then, aren't I?
0:07:25 > 0:07:26There's no point.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29- There's no point in anything. - Bloody 'ell!
0:07:29 > 0:07:33- You sound like Beth! It's not that bad!- It IS that bad!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Laura's got a boyfriend. I'm about to fail my exams...
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I'm going to end up with a crap job,
0:07:39 > 0:07:42no girlfriend and a crap life!
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- Well, maybe we can...- No! There's no cunning little plan for this, OK?!
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- Right.- Maybe you can get an extension.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53- You can always do something. - I AM doing something!
0:07:53 > 0:07:56I'm giving up pretending everything's going to be all right.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Just leave me alone, OK?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Well done, Beth(!)
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Now, just help me out of this. I'm a little bit stuck.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Can you look after Emily? I'm going out.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Not really.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Got a bit of a crisis. - And that lid's not on properly.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Well, I can't do anything right, can I?
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- Why, what have you done now?- Oh, I'm not the one that's done anything.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27I think your mother might be seeing someone.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- I doubt that.- You'd think after 18 years of marriage...
0:08:31 > 0:08:33I thought it was 19!
0:08:33 > 0:08:36All right, 19 - whatever!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38You'd think that would count for something!
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Whatever happens between your mother and me,
0:08:42 > 0:08:44it is not your fault.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47OK.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49It's your mother's.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51I'm going out.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53OK, son.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03- NORTH AMERICAN ACCENT: - Where do you want these, Francesca?
0:09:03 > 0:09:04Er, main bar, please, Guy.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Do you want some help?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08No, I'm a big, strong boy.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- Do you think he might be your Prince Charming?- Shut up!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Wow!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Oh, what a dump! Was Balmoral not available?
0:09:23 > 0:09:27See? I told you! We're going to have fun!
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- Hey, show Francesca your dress. - OK...!
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Ta-da!
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- It's lovely, isn't it?- Yeah! It's like a Disney princess!
0:09:39 > 0:09:42- THEY GIGGLE - Or one of the dwarves!
0:09:42 > 0:09:43There you go! You're Grumpy!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46I'm only kidding, Laura. I would love to be so small and cute.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Me and Danielle are stuck up here at catwalk height
0:09:49 > 0:09:52while you're having fun down there in Lilliput!
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Anyhow, my wonderful helpers,
0:09:55 > 0:09:57time to earn your entertainment.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00OK, so, Laura, I need your help with the decorations.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- I told her you were artistic.- That's why I know you're going to be great
0:10:03 > 0:10:06at fire-proofing the flames.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Fireproofing the flames?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Yeah. I need you to go round all the fireplaces
0:10:10 > 0:10:12and paint the cardboard flames with fireproofing gel.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14We can't have real flames - fire hazard.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18- In a...fireplace.- Exactly.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21So, I'll hang this up for you and we'll see you in about 40 minutes!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Well...where are you going?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Yeah, where ARE we going? - Oh, I've hired a hairdresser
0:10:26 > 0:10:30- for the whole ball committee to have their hair done.- Oh, brilliant!
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Oh, it's committee members only, I'm afraid.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36And besides, what's there to do? It's basically up...
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- or down, so.- Don't touch my hair.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Oh, no, it's great, I mean, it's so...
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- manageable, isn't it?- I don't like people touching my hair.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48- God, Laura, relax! - It's fine, I understand.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52My mum had a spaniel once who was exactly the same.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56Oh, and Laura - be careful not to inhale too much of that stuff.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58It's lethal. Ha-ha!
0:11:19 > 0:11:21- And he just left her with you?- Yep.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- When will he be back?- Didn't say.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- God, he's actually becoming a teenager.- No.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30It's because he knows there's something wrong between us.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- What's wrong between us?- I saw you at work flirting with Ian.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Of course I'm flirting with Ian. - Don't try and deny it.- I'm not!
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Ian decides who gets the extra shifts!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42I need the extra shifts because my husband is out of work,
0:11:42 > 0:11:44therefore I flirt!
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- So, you deny you're having an affair with him?- Like, when
0:11:47 > 0:11:50would I have the time or the energy for an affair?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I just thought, what with me being out of work, and us being broke...
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Ha-ha-ha!
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- What?- We've always been broke!
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- You've never had money! - BABY SQUEAKS
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- If it was about that I would have left you on the honeymoon. - Oh, cheers!
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Do you think that I am that bloody shallow?
0:12:06 > 0:12:10I just thought maybe I was becoming a little less attractive to you.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14You are. You're sitting there in a tracksuit, covered in Coco Pops,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17but I'm not going to leave you. God Almighty!
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Shame on you for thinking that, I think you should apologise.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22How has this turned into me getting a bollocking?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Oh, well it started when you accused me of being a money-grabbing whore.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Look, I want you to stop flirting with him.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31It reflects badly on me. I have my pride.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35When you get a job, you can have pride. Until then, I'm flirting.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Right.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42- Hi.- Hey, thanks for this.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Oh, it's fine, you deserve it.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- Oh I hope Laura wasn't too upset about not...- She'll be all right.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53- Yeah?- Yeah.- She seems a bit moody. Was she always like that?
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Well she never used to be, but then recently she's become a bit of a nightmare, to be honest.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59What, like a bit of a drama queen?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Yeah. Well, she's always either sulking or kicking off.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Yeah, I knew a girl like that once.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07God, always wanting to be the centre of attention,
0:13:07 > 0:13:11either having an accident or getting upset, or stealing people's boyfriends
0:13:11 > 0:13:13to try and validate themselves, that kind of thing.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16There was one guy during Freshers' Week that she sort of nicked.
0:13:16 > 0:13:21See, classic jealous sabotage tactic. It's about getting noticed.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25I mean, the baby's just part of it. Anything for the attention.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27SCREAM
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Oh, my God, what happened? - I just found it like this.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Oh no, must be some sort of freak accident.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42- I can't wear this!- It's OK, no big deal, there's a laundry here,
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- I'll give it a quick wash. - No, it's dry clean only.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- Yeah, they always say that. - No, I really don't think that you should wash it!
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Look, trust me, OK? I know about fabrics. It'll be fine.
0:13:51 > 0:13:56Laura! She's trying to help you, so just let her help.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59God! There's no need to make a big drama out of it.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08DOORBELL RINGS
0:14:11 > 0:14:14All right, er, Keith? What are you doing here?
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Right, there's no point beating around the bush.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20- I know Sandra's been flirting with you.- Ah, right. What?
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Right, the thing is, I don't want there to be any misunderstanding,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25but I need to know if there's something going on.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27No, not as far as I'm concerned.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Look, hard as it may be, I'd rather you didn't respond to it.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Yeah, well I won't, so...
0:14:34 > 0:14:36I really don't find her attractive, at all. Look, I'm sorry
0:14:36 > 0:14:40if you're having problems, but I have no interest in Sandra.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Come on, I know about the extra shifts.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Because she needed the work.
0:14:45 > 0:14:50Yeah, right! We both know that Sandra is a very attractive woman.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53And obviously I can see that you'd be tempted.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- Is everything OK? - Yeah, it's, em, just a work thing.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Mm. Well, don't be too long, darling.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Yeah. Just... So...
0:15:02 > 0:15:04You know?
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Yeah. Keith, I'm kinda busy here.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10But just to be clear, I really have no interest in your wife.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12- Not even a little bit?- No.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Well, why the hell not? What's wrong with her?
0:15:15 > 0:15:18I don't know, she's just not my type.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21And plus, that voice is so...
0:15:21 > 0:15:26- I just don't.- Yeah. Well, she's an amazing woman.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29And you would be lucky to have her fancy you.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32OK, that's fine, I've really got to go.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- Just so that we're...- Yeah.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- Now come here! - GIGGLING BEHIND DOOR ..clear.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Oh, my God!
0:16:28 > 0:16:32- Aaah! Oh, my God, you look amazing! - You too.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Oh, and I got us these.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37We're like fairytale sisters!
0:16:37 > 0:16:38THEY LAUGH
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Eh, you look nice too, Laura.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46No, I don't. I look like the hooker version of Tinkerbell.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50Well, Tinkerbell's cute and men like hookers.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- You're not helping, Danielle. - Look, OK, we need to get on.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Dan, I want you here greeting people as they come in with champagne.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- And what about me?- Um, no.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02I think maybe less of a frontline position for you.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08OK, so...
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Here we are!
0:17:11 > 0:17:15You're putting me in a dungeon? This is an actual dungeon.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Historically, yes.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22But for tonight it's an enchanted secret grotto...
0:17:22 > 0:17:25and coat check area.
0:17:26 > 0:17:31OK. Francesca, have you got a problem with me?
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Uh-oh, I think I know what this is.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Mm, you feel threatened because you're stuck being a single mum
0:17:37 > 0:17:39while Danielle's moving on with her life.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- I am not stuck! - Yeah, if you say so.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45There's no need to be touchy.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Oh, Jesus, I never should have come.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Jamie? Jamie? Where is he?
0:18:00 > 0:18:04- He's gone out.- Oh, no. I think he's going to do something crazy - look.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07"No point carrying on." That's, that's not good.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- God, he has been a bit down.- Yeah, and he's miserable about Laura.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- It's all her fault.- Yeah, and he's having trouble at school.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17We've been having problems at home. I told him our marriage was in trouble.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- Well, it is, isn't it? - It is now.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23Come on people, can we focus here? This is clearly a cry for help.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46You know what? I might just nip down and see how Laura's doing.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Don't worry. She was fine when I left her.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53- Even so. - Look, I need you here, OK?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Give it ten minutes and we'll both go and relieve her.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59I feel bad for abandoning her. OK, look, I'll be back in a second.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Hi.- Hi.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11So this is where they have you hiding?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Yes. Er... I'm doing the coats.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19You look very beautiful tonight.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24Eh - oh, OK! Yeah, sorry, if you could not do that.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- It's a bit weird. - Look, sorry, I...
0:19:27 > 0:19:30I thought that you... said that you...
0:19:30 > 0:19:35I... Sorry, I have to go and, em, call my, em... boyfriend.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Boyfriend?
0:19:37 > 0:19:41But I thought that you said that you liked me?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45I don't even know who you are.
0:19:52 > 0:19:53I should have seen this coming.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54RINGING TONE
0:19:54 > 0:19:56- It's ringing.- Right, give it here.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Yours can't be the first voice he hears. It'll put him over the edge.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00RINGING TONE
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- 'Hello?'- Jamie! - THEY ALL SIGH WITH RELIEF
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- How's it going?- 'Yeah, I'm fine.'
0:20:05 > 0:20:07I just needed some time to think.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10- No, don't do that, don't think! - (Find out where he is!)
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- Whereabouts are you, mate? - 'Just sitting on a bridge.'
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- On a bridge?- Oh! Keith, get the car!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- Which bridge?- (Talk.) 'I don't know.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- 'A bridge in the park.' - Erm, right, we...
0:20:20 > 0:20:24How are you feeling..?! Forget that, let's focus on the positives.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26- Come on!- Let's go!- What's the weather like out there...?
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Ha! I have a signal!
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Yes!
0:20:32 > 0:20:34RINGING TONE
0:20:34 > 0:20:37'You remember that... Remember when I was...'
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Hold on, I'm going to call you back, it's Laura on the other line.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41MIKE KEEPS TALKING
0:20:42 > 0:20:44JAMIE: 'Hello?'
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Hey! Hi! Jamie! Can you hear me?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- 'Yeah, hello?'- Hello?
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Hey! How's it going? I was just ringing to see how you were doing...
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Er, with Emily, how...how she's doing.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56'She's fine. We're fine.'
0:20:56 > 0:20:59I thought you were supposed to be at the ball - is everything OK?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01'Erm...no.'
0:21:01 > 0:21:03No, it's not, actually.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05I'm just, erm...
0:21:06 > 0:21:08..just feeling a bit alone.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Aren't you there with your new boyfriend?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12No!
0:21:12 > 0:21:14No, that didn't really work out.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Really? 'No, I...I...'
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- I just...- 'Mine didn't, either.'
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Really?
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Yeah, mine was terrible.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Couldn't have been worse than mine.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Er, well, mine called me a cab and through me out?
0:21:31 > 0:21:32I cried on mine.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- 'God!'- 'And Mike cried, too.'
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Ah-ha!
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Oh, OK! 'That IS actually worse!'
0:21:40 > 0:21:42So, we're...we're both...
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Yeah. I guess so.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50'Hey, maybe, erm,'
0:21:50 > 0:21:51when I'm back...
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Maybe we should...try and...
0:21:57 > 0:21:58'Try...'
0:21:58 > 0:22:00- what?- 'Hello?'
0:22:00 > 0:22:01He-hello?
0:22:01 > 0:22:03'Are you there? Jamie?'
0:22:03 > 0:22:05- Laura?- 'Jamie?'
0:22:05 > 0:22:07- Lau...- 'Jamie...' - What were you going to say?
0:22:07 > 0:22:08Oh.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Oh, for God's sake!
0:22:17 > 0:22:18< Jamie!
0:22:18 > 0:22:21< Don't jump! He's here!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- Jump where?- Jamie, don't jump!
0:22:23 > 0:22:26What the hell are you all doing here?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Stopping you from killing yourself!
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Why the hell would I want to kill myself?
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- Because you're so depressed! - Because your parents are arguing.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Because you're never going to find love!
0:22:35 > 0:22:39And you ruined your education - and you're in a dead-end job.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Not any more. I quit my job!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Have you any idea how difficult it is to get a job these days?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Oh, San, leave it, shut up. - Oh, sorry.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48But I'm not going to kill myself!
0:22:48 > 0:22:51I just wanted some time alone to think
0:22:51 > 0:22:53and have my cheeseburger!
0:22:53 > 0:22:55That is quite a low bridge.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57It's not as if I...
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Gagh! I got him! I got him!
0:22:59 > 0:23:02I got him! Everyone swarm, hold him down!
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Mike, get off!
0:23:04 > 0:23:06It's OK. It's going to be all right.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08You're going to get ketchup on me!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Ah!- Agh!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Hey, Danielle.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18I know this sounds awful, but, erm,
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- I think I'm going to head home. - Fine, go.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25- What? What is it? - Francesca was right.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27It IS all about you.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29What? What are you talking about?
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Guy!
0:23:30 > 0:23:34The moment I express an interest in anyone, you just have to wade on in.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36I don't know why I'm still friends with you.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39Yes, no.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42You're completely right. I...I totally understand.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44I've been...a nightmare.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48I've been shallow and insecure
0:23:48 > 0:23:51and competitive, and worried about what people think about me,
0:23:51 > 0:23:56and I've been, well, let me see - I have been a bit like...
0:23:56 > 0:23:58you, Francesca!
0:23:58 > 0:24:00And I can see that being like that,
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- it's actually kind of pathetic. - Oh, yeah!
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Says the teenage dropout single mum!
0:24:07 > 0:24:10Yes, I am all of those things.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13But that is fine -
0:24:13 > 0:24:16because I have a beautiful child,
0:24:16 > 0:24:20who I love - and somebody in my life who actually cares about me,
0:24:20 > 0:24:22which, by the way, is why I would
0:24:22 > 0:24:26never be interested in some guy like...
0:24:26 > 0:24:28- Guy.- Guy, thank you. I'm assuming it is Francesca
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- who said that I fancied you.- Erm...
0:24:32 > 0:24:33- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38- Francesca, what is wrong with you? - No, this is all a misunderstanding.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41I didn't. It was her! She's threatened our friendship.
0:24:41 > 0:24:46- She's jealous.- No! No, I'm not jealous of you, actually.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48You see, I used to be on your track,
0:24:48 > 0:24:50so I know where this train is headed.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53YOU will graduate with a 2:2,
0:24:53 > 0:24:56and some generic student experiences.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Maybe you'll fit in a trip to Thailand and think that buying a...
0:24:59 > 0:25:02an ethnic printed sarong equals broadening your horizons.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04PARTY GUESTS WHISPER AMONGST THEMSELVES
0:25:04 > 0:25:07You'll get out there on the milk round with your...your padded bra
0:25:07 > 0:25:09and your padded CV.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Except no-one will be interested, because out there,
0:25:11 > 0:25:15in the real world, you have no real talents, so eventually,
0:25:15 > 0:25:18you'll have to marry some... dipstick like Guy
0:25:18 > 0:25:20to pay off your student loan. You might in the future
0:25:20 > 0:25:23scrape together a small job in PR,
0:25:23 > 0:25:27or maybe in an expensive shop selling complete tat to slightly
0:25:27 > 0:25:30more successful versions of yourself.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Then you will pop out a couple of dull kids,
0:25:33 > 0:25:36who will secretly hate you, the way that you hate your mother,
0:25:36 > 0:25:39and then the whole cycle will start all over again.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41So, enjoy it while you can, Francesca,
0:25:41 > 0:25:43because this... is as good as it gets.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45GASPS FROM PARTY GUESTS
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Oh, my God!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52If you'll excuse me, I think I have to go home.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54- Sorry.- God...!
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Laura! That was awesome!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Yeah. I think I really needed that.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Wait, I'm coming with you!
0:26:02 > 0:26:04What? No, you don't have to, I'm fine.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07And maybe we'll bump into somebody else we don't like
0:26:07 > 0:26:09and I'll watch you bitch-slap them, too!
0:26:13 > 0:26:15HE WHISTLES
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- # Dee-dee-dee... # Morning! - All right, son.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23# Da-da, da-da! #
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Morning!
0:26:25 > 0:26:28God - puts it all into perspective, doesn't it?
0:26:28 > 0:26:30I'm sorry I acted so paranoid.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Oh...!
0:26:32 > 0:26:35- That was Ian on the phone. - Oh, right!
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- What does he want?- He was just telling me how I couldn't work
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Saturdays any more because of how it might be perceived.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Ah.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45What the hell were you thinking going round there?
0:26:45 > 0:26:46Sorry!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49It's just been hard, Sandra.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51I've just felt really low at the moment.
0:26:51 > 0:26:52How do you think I feel?
0:26:52 > 0:26:55I've just literally had a half-hour lecture on why
0:26:55 > 0:26:57I am not attractive.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Yeah?
0:27:01 > 0:27:03- Well, that's not what he told me. - Yeah, right(!)
0:27:03 > 0:27:04No!
0:27:04 > 0:27:07He told me that he was crazy about you.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Really?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11We had a big fall-out
0:27:11 > 0:27:14and he begged me not to tell you how he felt.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Oh?
0:27:16 > 0:27:17What did he say, exactly?
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Oh, he said loads of stuff.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23He said, like, how you're nothing like his wife,
0:27:23 > 0:27:26and how your voice drove him crazy!
0:27:26 > 0:27:29What, do his big speech was just like a smokescreen
0:27:29 > 0:27:30for his real feelings?
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Yeah - that must be it.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Oh, God!
0:27:35 > 0:27:39I thought it was just a bit of innocent flirting, but I mean...
0:27:39 > 0:27:43God, I'd no idea I was... having that sort of impact.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46- Yeah, well, he's only human, Sandra. - Yeah!
0:27:46 > 0:27:49I mean, I know I've still got it, like, but... God!
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- Maybe I should say something. - Nah! Whoa!
0:27:54 > 0:27:58No. Sh... Probably best not to acknowledge it -
0:27:58 > 0:27:59at all.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- You know, for his sake.- Yeah.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04- Kind.- Mmm.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Oh, my God. Laura, you look...
0:28:11 > 0:28:14I know, I know, I've been on the coach for like five hours.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15..beautiful.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18Oh!
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Er, OK.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28CORK POPS Just thought it would be nice
0:28:28 > 0:28:31to have a romantic evening.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Are you trying to have sex with me?
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Not immediately!
0:28:36 > 0:28:38I'm doing a word-of-mouth viral thing.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40This pie will exist as an entity
0:28:40 > 0:28:42and all the cool people will be drawn to it.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Mike's having a party this Saturday.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47Thought maybe we could go...together?
0:28:48 > 0:28:51I didn't bring anyone because I have no friends.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53In fact, I'm just going to go.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55Beth, you have to come in.
0:28:58 > 0:28:59# It's come
0:28:59 > 0:29:01# To nothing
0:29:01 > 0:29:05# These days are up before they start
0:29:05 > 0:29:06# I get
0:29:06 > 0:29:08# No better
0:29:08 > 0:29:10# You turn away
0:29:10 > 0:29:13# I fall apart tonight
0:29:13 > 0:29:15# The danger
0:29:15 > 0:29:17# Won't leave the air
0:29:17 > 0:29:20# Until the likes of this love
0:29:20 > 0:29:22# For this lover
0:29:22 > 0:29:24# For this love... #
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd