0:00:02 > 0:00:03- So, we're both...- Yeah.
0:00:03 > 0:00:05Daddy, I got the job.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07- What job?- Your job, actually.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10- Steven sent over the contract this morning.- He bloody what?
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Laura, you look beautiful.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31- JANET:- Simon? Yeah, where are we with that?
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Not yet, no, but I absolutely will. Timing is the key.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Jamie! Don't just lie there doing nothing!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38You're supposed to be helping!
0:00:41 > 0:00:44This would be easier if you actually told them we're seeing each other.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47I know. I will. Eventually. But...
0:00:47 > 0:00:50- Are you having second thoughts?- No.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Ah. So you're ashamed of telling them about me.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55No...
0:00:55 > 0:00:58I'm not ashamed of you...
0:00:59 > 0:01:02..but they'll be ashamed of me for picking you.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Oh, well, thank you very much. - Well, it's true.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07It's not like anybody's going to be happy about this.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Actually, I've told mine and they're delighted.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Ah, this is a bloody disaster!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16I think it's great. I hope it works out for them.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19And then what? What if they want to get married?
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- So what if they do?- I'm not spending Christmas with her parents.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25So that's your big worry, Christmas dinner?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27We'll have to talk to him, tell him not to force the issue.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Don't you say anything, though. We have to present a united front.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33So you just keep your mouth shut.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38So, if I get good AS results, it'll be a celebration party
0:01:38 > 0:01:40and, if I get bad results,
0:01:40 > 0:01:42well, I'll just get hammered.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- So who are you inviting?- Nobody.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47I'm doing a word-of-mouth viral thingy.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49This party will exist as an entity
0:01:49 > 0:01:51and all the cool people will be drawn to it.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53So, can I even tell anyone?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Yes. But don't ask them to come.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57DON'T ask them to come?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00No. But do mention there'll be a smoke machine.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Ooh, that should bring in the international party crowd.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07What about Laura? Reckon you can get her to bring some of her mates?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09I'm not even sure Laura will come.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11She doesn't want anyone to know that we're together.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Oh, she's just probably not as into it as you are.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16How can you say that?
0:02:16 > 0:02:17She's totally into me.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21I think it's significant
0:02:21 > 0:02:25that Alan has instigated the sessions this time.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Yes, well, now Janet's working full time,
0:02:28 > 0:02:32I feel as if she has started to neglect our relationship.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Good and, Janet, would you like to respond to that?
0:02:35 > 0:02:36'I'm sorry,
0:02:36 > 0:02:39'I'm just having trouble hearing you over this bloody thing.'
0:02:39 > 0:02:44Alan's saying that he feels you're not always there emotionally.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46'That's simply not true. I'm taking time out
0:02:46 > 0:02:50'from a very complex, sensitive negotiation to take this call.'
0:02:50 > 0:02:54I think we all appreciate your participation
0:02:54 > 0:02:57and, in a way, you not being here is very useful.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59When you only have the voice,
0:02:59 > 0:03:03it really helps to focus on what's being said.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05So, Alan, what do you really want to say?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I'm supporting her in her career,
0:03:08 > 0:03:11but I want to feel as if I'm at least being listened to.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Could you respond to that?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Uh, Janet?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19'Uh, hello, no, it's Lucinda, Janet's PA here, actually.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22'Janet's had to step away from the phone for a moment,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25'but I'm taking notes and I'll bring her up to speed.'
0:03:25 > 0:03:30Right, well, I would like Janet to show me
0:03:30 > 0:03:35- that she is giving our relationship the attention it deserves.- Hmm.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Can she do that?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39'Uh, I don't have the authority to give an answer,
0:03:39 > 0:03:41'but I'll certainly pass on the message.'
0:03:41 > 0:03:44OK, Lucinda, thank you.
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Very helpful. Yeah.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48TV PLAYS
0:03:54 > 0:03:55TV SWITCHES OFF
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Everything all right?
0:03:57 > 0:04:00I'm just really confused about Laura.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02- OK, I'm just going to...- Sit down.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05She says she wants a relationship,
0:04:05 > 0:04:07then she backs off like she's not interested.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Ah, you just need to take things slowly.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Oh, yeah, sorry.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16That's just women, mate. They're nuts.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21I mean, they're emotionally complex.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25I've been giving her a hard time for not telling her parents.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Maybe I should back off a bit.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- She's not told her parents?- No.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32I mean, I get it. I'm obviously not what they'd want.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Don't let her push you around.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39If you get sidelined at the start of a relationship,
0:04:39 > 0:04:41- there is no going back.- She's right.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Shut up, Keith, I'm talking here.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46This relationship is happening and everyone needs to know it.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- You're right.- Yeah, damn right I am.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52So you get in there and show her who's boss.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Yeah, I will.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Thanks, Mum.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Thanks, Dad.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02So what happened to not forcing the issue?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06That's before she started acting like she was ashamed of him.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08What?
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Nothing! It's just, you didn't tell your family about me for months.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15But that was different, Keith. I was right to be worried about you.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18DOORBELL RINGS
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Hello, Laura.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Hi, Alan.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Oh, hi, Jamie. Are you here for Emily?
0:05:28 > 0:05:32No, no, no, I just thought I'd pop round, see this little lady.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Right, well, I should probably go and check on Emily, so...
0:05:37 > 0:05:42Oh, Mike's having a party this Saturday.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44I thought maybe we could go,
0:05:44 > 0:05:46you know, together.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Maybe your mum and dad could babysit?
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Oh, no, I can't. Tied up all weekend.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54That's fine, that's fine,
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I don't need to go to Mike's party anyway, so doesn't matter.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Jamie, come and help me with Emily.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00- Now.- OK.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Jamie, what are you doing?
0:06:13 > 0:06:15I'm sick of sneaking around.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18We've been together for, like, a year and a half, on and off.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Mainly off.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21See, that's the problem.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23I've been in it, you've not.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Fine. Let's go by your calendar.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30We've been together four weeks. I think it's time I met your parents.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Wait! Jamie, Jamie, what if we want to be, you know...together?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42As in...together?
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Yeah.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45As in...
0:06:47 > 0:06:50As in sex, Jamie. It's not a bloody cryptic crossword.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Do you really want my parents thinking it could be happening
0:06:52 > 0:06:54any time you pop around?
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Might it be happening any time I pop round?
0:06:58 > 0:07:03Possibly. Providing you don't ruin it by provoking my parents.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07No. No, let's not do that.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10I just want it to be right this time.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Not another drunken fumble.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13I wasn't that drunk.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16I was drunk, you were fumbling.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21I just want everything to be...perfect.
0:07:22 > 0:07:23Yeah.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Me too.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Do you really think having my parents downstairs wondering
0:07:28 > 0:07:32what we might be up to sounds like...optimum conditions?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45ALAN CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:07:47 > 0:07:49We can't go on like this, Janet.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51I don't see what the problem is.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54You don't see a problem in not showing up to our counselling session?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I've got Lucinda's notes. She is very thorough.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Perhaps I should be talking to her, then?
0:07:59 > 0:08:02She seems far more across our relationship than you do.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05I'm heavily committed at work. You remember what that was like.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08And you remember what it was like for you at home being ignored.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Well, there you go. Quid pro quo.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14LAURA: 'No, don't come over here.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16- 'It'll be easier for me and Emily to come to yours.'- OK, fine.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- You bring her over here, then. - 'OK, bye.'
0:08:19 > 0:08:21All right, I'll see you later. Bye.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Women, eh?
0:08:25 > 0:08:29When I first got with your mother, nothing I ever did was good enough.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31I just drew a line in the sand.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35I said, "This is me, you accept me for who I am."
0:08:35 > 0:08:37And she accepted you?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39No, she not exactly accepted,
0:08:39 > 0:08:43more just realised there wasn't going to be any improvement.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47I think all we need is some space.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51We never get to just be together and have...
0:08:53 > 0:08:57..a proper conversation.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Right...
0:09:00 > 0:09:02so when did you last have a...
0:09:02 > 0:09:04chat?
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Not since the first time we...talked.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09- Bloody hell.- I know!
0:09:11 > 0:09:15I tell you what, I'll take your mum out tonight, give you some privacy.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Oh, that'd be great.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I'll need about 40 quid.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Hey, it's a small price to pay...
0:09:21 > 0:09:23for a good natter.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28- 'Did you get your results?' - Yep, B and two Cs. How did you do?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Yeah, I aced them - two Cs and a D.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32'So, pre-party party tonight?'
0:09:32 > 0:09:35No. Mum and Dad are going out and I've got Laura coming over.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Oh, my God! Is it go time?- 'No.'
0:09:39 > 0:09:41I mean, it might be go time.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43We'll see how it goes.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- 'I'll be round in ten minutes.' - No! Mike...
0:09:45 > 0:09:46MIKE HANGS UP
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Cushions.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55BARRY WHITE: 'I never take anything for granted.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- 'Only a fool, baby, takes things for granted.'- Better, better.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00Good.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04'Just because it's here today, it can be gone tomorrow...'
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Wine...
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Candles...
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Too many candles.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16OK, I'm pretty sure I can take it from here now, Mike, if you want...
0:10:16 > 0:10:19No, no, no, no, no, no, you are nowhere near ready.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21She's not going to be blind drunk this time.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Expectations are going to be a lot higher,
0:10:24 > 0:10:26which is why I got you this.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29What is it?
0:10:29 > 0:10:30It's a shark's tooth.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Why would I want to wear a shark's tooth?
0:10:32 > 0:10:34So she thinks you kill sharks.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- I'm pretty sure she knows I don't kill sharks.- Yeah, consciously,
0:10:37 > 0:10:40but subconsciously, she'll register that you're dangerous.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- Dangerous to sharks?- Exactly.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Look, how hot is that?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Not that hot?
0:10:46 > 0:10:49OK, look, you're going to be playing catch-up sexually,
0:10:49 > 0:10:52but luckily, sports science is here to help.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Right, here we go.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58All we need to do is simply find
0:10:58 > 0:11:01an elite athlete with a body type which is similar to yours
0:11:01 > 0:11:03and then model your technique on theirs.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06These are links to guys with similar body shapes to you.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08GIRLS MOAN AND SIGH
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Oh, Mike, turn that off.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14What? Oh, come on, it took me hours to find these!
0:11:14 > 0:11:16It's not like your body type's popular.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21Oh, yeah, this is a good one, ready?
0:11:21 > 0:11:22MOANING
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Who am I even supposed to be looking at?
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Not that. That guy, the one in the middle with the moustache.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Oh! I'm not doing that.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31DOOR OPENS
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Oh, that's her. Put it away, go, go.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36You look great, you look brilliant.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38All right, Beth.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Beth. Hiya. What are you...?
0:11:43 > 0:11:45My life is over.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Yeah?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Why, what's happened?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50My Biology AS?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52I got a fucking B.
0:11:52 > 0:11:57Oui, nous voudrions rester, uh...deux nuits.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Uh, quoi?
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Ah, pour deux personnes.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Oui, deux personnes. Merci.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05Uh...quoi?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09So it's a B, what's the big deal?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11I'm a straight A student.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13I can't have a B.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15It's just a couple of marks different.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Tell that to Cambridge University.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21- I thought you said Cambridge was a relic filled with snobs.- Yeah.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26Yes, which I would have changed for the better, from within.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30God, this means my year at Harvard is off too.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32And I was going to meet a cute guy
0:12:32 > 0:12:34who was like a marine biologist
0:12:34 > 0:12:37who'd take me whale-watching.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Now that's not going to happen cos the exam board screwed up.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Give me your laptop, I'm going to e-mail them.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Oh, no! That's, er, it's broken.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48So why don't you sleep on it?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Yeah? Just...sleep on it.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Yeah, we should get going, Beth.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Jamie's got Laura coming over.
0:12:56 > 0:12:57They're having sex.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Oh, God, I do not need to see that again.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04I am going to die alone,
0:13:04 > 0:13:06with a mediocre degree
0:13:06 > 0:13:08and I'll never see a blue whale!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10OK, come on.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11- Good luck.- Go.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Yeah, go on!
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Come on, Beth, I'll let you have a go on my smoke machine.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Janet.
0:13:30 > 0:13:36I'd like to discuss our relationship in a non-judgemental way.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Why on earth are you talking like that?
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Darling, have you banged your head again or something?
0:13:40 > 0:13:43I'm just trying to find out what the hell is going on with you.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Nothing's going on with me.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Oh, come on.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50I've seen you skulking around, heard you booking a hotel room.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Please just be honest with me.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Fine.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57I've booked a hotel in Paris.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59I thought it would be nice for us to get away,
0:13:59 > 0:14:01spend some time with each other.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Well, that's a...lovely surprise.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Hmm, would have been, wouldn't it?
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Sorry.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13It's fine.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Just trust me, OK?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21PHONE VIBRATES
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Oh, it's work.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Can I take this in the other room or do you want to listen in?
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Steven? Where are we with that?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35This way. Come in, come in,
0:14:35 > 0:14:37just put Emily down there.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Jamie, are you wearing a necklace?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42No! It's not... No.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Where's your mum and dad?
0:14:44 > 0:14:48- Dad's taken Mum out.- Really?- Yeah,
0:14:48 > 0:14:50so it's just the two of us. Wine?
0:14:53 > 0:14:55OK, why?
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I just thought it'd be nice to have a romantic evening.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Are you trying to have sex with me?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Not immediately, no.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I just, I thought...
0:15:07 > 0:15:10you know, optimum conditions.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Right. It's not really optimum, though, is it, Jamie?
0:15:13 > 0:15:18Emily's in the room and you've just put out a bowl of crisps.
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Kettle chips.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Oh, well, take me now!
0:15:23 > 0:15:26OK, you know what, forget it.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28It's never going to be good enough, is it?
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Oh, no, come on, it's just, we don't have to rush.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35It just feels a bit like you're obsessed with sex.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39Oh, OK, once in 18 years. You can't call that obsessed.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43It's like saying I'm obsessed with kayaking
0:15:43 > 0:15:45and I've actually done that twice.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Look, OK, don't get angry with me just because I'm not quite there yet.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Not quite there? You don't even want to be seen with me,
0:15:52 > 0:15:54you're barely in this relationship.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57I'm starting to wonder if I should be in it either.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59DOOR OPENS
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Ignore me! Ignore me.
0:16:01 > 0:16:06Hiya, sorry, forgot to pick up that cash. Could I get it off you now?
0:16:08 > 0:16:09Probably not.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14Hi, Keith.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Ooh, posh crisps.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32IN FRENCH:
0:17:14 > 0:17:18I didn't realise you could be so assertive in a second language.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I think you might have frightened the Frenchman.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22It was either that or have him follow you up here
0:17:22 > 0:17:25and offer you his continental breakfast.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30I thought I might let you in on a little surprise.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Hmm, sounds interesting.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36We should do this more often, you know.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39We can do this more often.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43How do you fancy Manhattan?
0:17:43 > 0:17:45I like Manhattan.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Great, well, you can come out and see me.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Sorry?
0:17:49 > 0:17:53Steven's sending me out to New York on a two-month secondment.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56But... What? When?
0:17:56 > 0:17:57I leave on Monday.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04LOUD DUBSTEP MUSIC
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Oh, hi, Beth. Glad you could make it.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12I got my remark.
0:18:12 > 0:18:13Yeah?
0:18:13 > 0:18:15B again.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18I'm officially ordinary.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23And I didn't bring anyone because I have no friends
0:18:23 > 0:18:26or boyfriend, or future.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31In fact, I'm just going to go. I'll just spoil the party.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34No! Beth, you have to come in.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Somehow the cool-uncool ratio got out of whack.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46DISCO MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Yes, well, I see what this is now.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54It's not a romantic weekend at all, is it?
0:18:54 > 0:18:56It's the walk in the woods before you put a bullet in my brain.
0:18:56 > 0:19:01- Nonsense.- So when were you planning on telling me exactly?
0:19:01 > 0:19:06Well, now. I was just waiting for the right moment.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Oh, be reasonable. What about the 20 years I spent at home
0:19:09 > 0:19:12while you had your career? That's got to be worth at least six months.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14That's the...
0:19:14 > 0:19:16I thought you said two months.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17It's open-ended.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22It's just a business trip. Don't be so melodramatic.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Well, in a calm, non-confrontational way,
0:19:24 > 0:19:28let me tell you that, if you get on that plane,
0:19:28 > 0:19:29our marriage is over.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37And I left her there with the kettle chips.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38So I think I basically blew it.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Oh, I wouldn't be too sure.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45I'm with him.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Hi, Jamie.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50All right?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Yeah. Can we...?
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Come on, Beth, let's mingle.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I don't want to mingle.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57- Shall we...?- Yeah.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09I'm surprised you made it.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11I've been thinking about what you said
0:20:11 > 0:20:13and I'm going to tell my parents.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15You don't have to, I don't care anymore.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17I know, I know, but I'm saying I will.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19And I'm saying I don't care.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- Look, I'm sorry. I...- No, look,
0:20:21 > 0:20:25there comes a time when you just have to draw a line
0:20:25 > 0:20:27and say, "This is who I am"
0:20:27 > 0:20:29and this is that time.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Oh, my God, are you going to break up with me?
0:20:34 > 0:20:35No! No.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42You should feel like you have to respond to this
0:20:42 > 0:20:46because I know you struggle with straightforward emotional statements
0:20:46 > 0:20:48but...
0:20:49 > 0:20:52I love you, Laura.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56I...
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Right.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06Look, it's fine, like I said, you don't have to respond.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I can't just...
0:21:13 > 0:21:17I know, and it's fine.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- Is it?- Yeah, yeah.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24I know that you'll come round, eventually.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Will I?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Yeah, in your own time.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35So whether it's telling people that we're together
0:21:35 > 0:21:38or holding hands in public,
0:21:38 > 0:21:40sex, whatever,
0:21:40 > 0:21:42it doesn't matter.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47I'm saying, I'm there.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51And when you're ready to join me, just let me know.
0:21:56 > 0:21:57OK.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Yeah?
0:22:00 > 0:22:01OK.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08OK, I might be bad at straightforward
0:22:08 > 0:22:09but I do know this.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14We have babysitters all night and this party is awful
0:22:14 > 0:22:19and my house is completely empty. MEN MAKE LIGHT SABRE NOISES
0:22:19 > 0:22:20OK?
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Well, doesn't that sound like...
0:22:23 > 0:22:25optimum conditions to you?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Oh, keys. Keys in the door.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Yeah, probably just leave them.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Oh! I should really re-sterilise those.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Yeah, later. Come on.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Is this...?
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Is this a new belt?
0:23:12 > 0:23:13- Ow!- OK, OK.
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Jamie, can we move?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Why? Are we not OK?
0:23:37 > 0:23:39I thought it was going OK.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42I'm getting a bit distracted by all the dangling objects.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Oh, I see!
0:24:39 > 0:24:42My God, this party's a disaster.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46No, I'm the disaster.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48I have no friends, no boyfriend
0:24:48 > 0:24:51and I'm not even that smart, so...
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Where did Jamie go?
0:24:56 > 0:24:59I think he went to go and do Laura.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Good.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05How nice of them to flaunt their happiness while I'm failing at life.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Beth!
0:25:07 > 0:25:10You are a very bright,
0:25:10 > 0:25:14intelligent...bright girl.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17And if these universities can't see that,
0:25:17 > 0:25:21then they're not worth going to university at.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25- Screw them.- Yeah.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27With their big libraries
0:25:27 > 0:25:29and their faculties
0:25:29 > 0:25:33- full of academic bastards.- Bastards.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36I say, reject rejection.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40Reject rejection.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41THEY LAUGH
0:25:41 > 0:25:43That's brilliant.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Yeah. Yeah, it is. Cheers.
0:25:48 > 0:25:49HE BELCHES
0:25:51 > 0:25:53- Mike.- Yeah?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55I don't know if it's the jelly shots,
0:25:55 > 0:25:57or the lighting...
0:25:59 > 0:26:00..or the despair...
0:26:01 > 0:26:05..but there's something about you.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Yeah, I know.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29You can never tell anyone.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Who's going to believe me?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42OK, OK, sorry, just to be sure,
0:26:42 > 0:26:44- the condom is...- Oh, God, yes.- OK.
0:26:46 > 0:26:47You're absolutely sure?
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Way ahead of you, and yes, 100%.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Good.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Give me one second.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57- Yeah, we're good.- OK.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11MUSIC: "Settle" by Two Door Cinema Club
0:27:11 > 0:27:16# Everything I cannot imagine
0:27:16 > 0:27:22# This dim-lit room has seen much before me
0:27:22 > 0:27:26# And I don't want
0:27:27 > 0:27:30# To ever know
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# To know... #
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Hey, sleepy head.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Oh, my God!
0:28:02 > 0:28:03We didn't, did we?
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Judging by the evidence, I'd say it probably got freaky.
0:28:09 > 0:28:10Oh, my God.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14I honestly can't remember.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16Well, that's good enough for me.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18I'm taking that one as a win.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21No, no! No-one's a winner here.
0:28:23 > 0:28:24Wow!
0:28:24 > 0:28:27Finally!
0:28:27 > 0:28:29Who'd have thought?
0:28:29 > 0:28:31You and me.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd