0:00:02 > 0:00:04- I don't know what I'd do without you and Emily.- Oh...- Sh...
0:00:04 > 0:00:06It's fully-functional, it's all plumbed in, electrics.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08- Take me home, Keith! - Actually, this is our 'ome.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11You know I love you both very much!
0:00:11 > 0:00:13It's only your father I can't stand.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15- This marriage is officially over! - Oh!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Let's go for it, let's move in together!
0:00:18 > 0:00:22From now on, Laura... we're going to be so happy!
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Oh...
0:00:34 > 0:00:37So are you going to move in with Jamie then?
0:00:37 > 0:00:40No, course not. I'm moving in with my dad, aren't I?
0:00:40 > 0:00:43But does Jamie think you're moving in with him?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45No!
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Well, yeah. But I'll set him straight!
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Well, why don't you move in with him?
0:00:50 > 0:00:53He's a great guy for someone like you, you know -
0:00:53 > 0:00:54unwanted, single mother.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58And you obviously go for that boy next door,
0:00:58 > 0:01:01least attractive member of the boyband look.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04What?! I said he could be in a boyband.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Not the lead singer,
0:01:06 > 0:01:08but, you know, the fat one who writes all the songs.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Danielle! You're not helping!
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Fine!
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Oh, my God!
0:01:23 > 0:01:26It's like a VIP room from 1991!
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Look at that sofa!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Yeah, it's slink.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Made from the skin of unborn calves.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37- Oooh!- Don't touch it! Haven't sealed it yet!
0:01:37 > 0:01:38So we can't sit on it?
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Yes, but, you know, just be careful - it's very delicate.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45So practical when you have a young child.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50Oh, erm, probably best to keep her off the chaise, as well.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Ooh, retro.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Isn't it? Look, by the way, leather wall panels.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Oooh.- Ooh.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01And...
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Oh! It's a lamp!
0:02:04 > 0:02:07- Oh, that looks dangerous. - Only if you're a moth.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11So, where exactly are we supposed to sit?
0:02:11 > 0:02:15Erm, well, you can sit on anything that's been designed after 1970.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19DOOR BUZZES Oh, now that should be my Mies van der Rohe footstool.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Oh, quick(!)
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Oh, I'm not sure this place is right for Emily.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Yeah, being exposed to this much leather at her age,
0:02:28 > 0:02:31she's definitely going to end up being a stripper.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- Emily! Oh, my God!- Oh, my God!
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Oh! It's OK, it's all right.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40It's OK, it's all right.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Oh!
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Jamie.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52How was the interview?
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Turns out there's not much call for a college dropout with
0:02:54 > 0:02:57no experience and no qualifications. What about you?
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Oh, they offered me the head of ICI, but I told 'em to stuff it.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- No joy, mate? - No.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06It's a crying shame - fit young lad like you.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Actually, I'm doing a job you could help me with.
0:03:09 > 0:03:14- You've got a job?- Course. Bit of decorating. You interested?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- Absolutely!- Yeah! Shall I tell them in there?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Oh, no. No, no, no.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Oh, no. Kids, eh?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- Jamie, was it?- Yeah. - Yeah, I'm Keith.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Sorry, mate, job's gone.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30So do I need to bring anything?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Just that lovely smile.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36I start tomorrow.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Proper money, too, so I'll be able to pay my share of the rent.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40'That's great, Jamie.'
0:03:40 > 0:03:43It's just I sort of really need to be here, for my dad, at the moment.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45He's... he's having trouble...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47adjusting. It's a really difficult time for him.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51- ALAN WHISTLES HAPPILY - 'Oh, of course.'
0:03:51 > 0:03:54So, a couple of weeks then?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Yeah, we'll see.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59I should go. He's looking really down.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- 'OK, so maybe if we...' - Yeah, OK, bye.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Keith, all we needed was a pint of milk, what's all this?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13There's some good stuff in them bargain bins.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17God, where is your dignity? Digging around in bins for...
0:04:17 > 0:04:21- beetroot!- 29p!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23None of us like beetroot!
0:04:23 > 0:04:25None of us like beetroot yet.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29But have we, as a family, really given beetroot a chance?
0:04:29 > 0:04:32You nice and comfy there, Keith?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Erm, yeah, thanks.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Sitting in a caravan on a broken chair,
0:04:36 > 0:04:40eating reduced price prunes out of a tin!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Surrounded by all this clutter!
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Oh, all right then, I'll get rid of it! I'll dump it.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48You can't just dump it! Like a...
0:04:48 > 0:04:50tinker!
0:04:50 > 0:04:51I'm not a tinker.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Tinker, tailor, soldier,
0:04:58 > 0:05:01sailor, rich man!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Poor man!
0:05:03 > 0:05:06MUSIC: You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Dad! Emily is asleep!
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Could you at least use headphones?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13It seems a shame to waste the surround sound.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Oh, by the way,
0:05:19 > 0:05:20I found a slight mark,
0:05:20 > 0:05:24a stain, on the leather wall panel.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I'm pretty sure it is was a handprint about that size.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29It's just that the oils in human skin
0:05:29 > 0:05:33can have a corrosive effect on young leather.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38Right, well, I'll just wrap her up in dusters then, shall I?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Are you wearing aftershave?
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Homme de Mystere, Calvin Klein.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Are you going on a date?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Hmm.- But you're married!
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Only to your mother!
0:05:52 > 0:05:55What time are you going to be back?
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Don't know if I will be.
0:05:57 > 0:06:02I... I'm sorry, Dad, but I think we need to have some ground rules here.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- Why?- Because I need to know what you're doing.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Why?
0:06:09 > 0:06:13Erm, well, what if I had... cooked dinner?
0:06:13 > 0:06:14- Have you cooked dinner?- No, but I...
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Oh, it's just a bit of a shock.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Look, it's no big deal, I'm just, you know,
0:06:21 > 0:06:22going on an innocent night out,
0:06:22 > 0:06:25with an intelligent, interesting woman,
0:06:25 > 0:06:27who happens not to be your mother.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I think I deserve that, don't I?
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Suppose.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Hey, Tiger!
0:06:39 > 0:06:41SHE KISSES HIM
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- You ready?- Erm, almost, almost, yes.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Oh, erm, this is Penny.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Oh, hello.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- All right, Tiger. - Oh, sweet pea.- Bye.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50SHE GASPS
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Ohhh!
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Dad! What do you think you're doing?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01I cannot believe you brought her back here and...
0:08:01 > 0:08:04You've got to be careful, you know?!
0:08:04 > 0:08:09You can't just drag home the first drunken bimbo that you meet!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Got croissants!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13SHE INHALES AUDIBLY
0:08:13 > 0:08:16And a very good morning to you, Laura.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Hope I wasn't too long in the shower,
0:08:18 > 0:08:21the controls were a bit taxing for my bimbo brain.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26- Who's for a pain au chocolat? - Sorry, Alan, I need to go!- Oh.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29What have you said?
0:08:29 > 0:08:34Look, I don't need your approval to have a bit of harmless fun...
0:08:36 > 0:08:40..within a committed, long-term relationship, obviously.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42I do have to get to the office.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Hmm, conference call with Tokyo. You know how it is.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- Oh, right. - Well, don't look so sad, Tiger.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51- I'll see you tonight.- Hmm.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55So nice to see you again.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Thanks for giving me this opportunity.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04What exactly will I be doing?
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Oh, a bit of this, bit of that,
0:09:07 > 0:09:09bit of the other.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12The important thing is not to treat it as work.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15In my experience, the happier you are,
0:09:15 > 0:09:17the happier the customer is.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Handsome chap like you,
0:09:19 > 0:09:21they'll be putty in your hands.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Come on.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Great.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Working up a bit of a sweat there, son?
0:09:35 > 0:09:40Yeah, and, sorry, but I think I got some of the white on the red.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Oh, don't worry about that.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49Erm, Mrs Winterburn's more concerned that you might be getting a bit hot?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you, Mrs Winterburn.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Uh-huh. Erm, she says if you want to take your shirt off,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- it's absolutely fine. - Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Jamie, mate...
0:10:02 > 0:10:05I'm sure you'll be a lot more comfortable if you just,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07you know, slip your top off.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14All right, then.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25That better?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Frees you up a bit, don't it?
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Yeah, it does, actually!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34You've got five seconds!
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Three, two, one, yes!
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Sold to Suzy K, one oak-effect wheel back chair!
0:10:41 > 0:10:42San! You missed it!
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Oh! I've just sold the last bit of our furniture!
0:10:46 > 0:10:47Ah, that's great, Keith!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51- And we have made over 200 quid! - Oh!
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Oh, I've got a real knack for this!
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Oh, well, I'll just be glad of the space!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Oh, shit!
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Not our problem, Sandra.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Caveat emptor! It's Latin.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05It means, "Buyer, beware!"
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Especially if you're buying off some bloke off the Internet.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11It's her chair now. It's her problem.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20It's hot work, innit?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Do you know what? I could customise those jeans for you,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26cut 'em off at the knee.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Well, I don't think that's necessary...
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Be much cooler - let the skin breathe.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Well, I guess these have pretty much had it, anyway.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38That's my boy!
0:11:38 > 0:11:40What the f...?
0:11:40 > 0:11:41I'll be with you in a minute, San,
0:11:41 > 0:11:44just taking me latest venture to market.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Ow! What is this?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50The corner shop were throwing it out!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Are you selling ice cream?
0:11:52 > 0:11:56No, no, no, no. Strictly high-end goods.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Maximum profits!
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Homarus gammarus.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07- Lobster! - Where did you get that lobster?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Erm, the old freezer warehouse.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Do you remember Brian? - What, Dodgy Brian?
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Yeah, Dodgy Brian.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15He's setting us up with a cheap supply,
0:12:15 > 0:12:18and I'm going to sell them on eBay!
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Where you getting the money for this?
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Well, I've reinvested our liquid assets.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24The furniture money?
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Yeah, and some extra start-up capital venture
0:12:27 > 0:12:29which I've managed to secure.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31From who?
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Just like a, sort of, conglomerate of investors.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37They're... they're fully on-board!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40You know, professional... money people.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42You got a payday loan.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Yeah, well, they saw the potential in the idea!
0:12:45 > 0:12:48I bet they did! So when's your next payday?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Not long, San. Not long.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59Oh, lovely, Mrs W! Tea up, Jamie!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Not sure about these, Dave.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05It's practical, though, innit?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Right.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Back to the grind!
0:13:26 > 0:13:28MUSIC: Love Is The Drug by Roxy Music
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Ah, perfect!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Surprise!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I got you this!
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Oh, sweet pea!
0:13:40 > 0:13:44- You shouldn't have!- I thought you could wear it on Friday.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Lunch? With my parents.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Oh, erm, may be a bit tricky!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I know they'd both love to meet you.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55As I would them, absolutely.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59But, erm, hmm, I probably should see more of Laura.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01But you see her every day!
0:14:01 > 0:14:06I do, yes, but... she's having real difficulty adjusting, you know?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Dad! She's asleep!
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Thank you!
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Oh, sorry! You don't mind me borrowing these, do you?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Alan said you wouldn't.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25Only... we had a bit of an accident.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Didn't we, Mr Tickle?
0:14:30 > 0:14:32I had to queue-jump on the washing machine.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I've left Emily's stuff on the floor.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38So, looks like we're having another sleepover.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40If we must!
0:14:40 > 0:14:44MUSIC: Golden Years by David Bowie
0:14:44 > 0:14:46"Bop-bop-bop!"
0:14:46 > 0:14:48See you soon, Mrs W!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- And thanks for the cake! - Here you go, son.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56You've earned that.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59She gave me a tip, too!
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Ahh! You stick with your Uncle Dave and he'll take care of you.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09KEYPAD BEEPS
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- This little piggy went to market. - Alan, stop it!
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Ooh, didn't Little Piggy like Mr Tickle?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18PHONE RINGS
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Oh! Hi.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- 'Hi, Laura. I've just done my first day.'- Oh, right.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24'You know, I reckon we can even get a furnished place,
0:15:24 > 0:15:26'with a big TV and everything.'
0:15:26 > 0:15:30Yeah, that's the priority(!) Look, Jamie, we don't want to rush it.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32We don't want to end up with a place that we hate.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35'Couldn't be worse than the caravan. It's all right for you.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37'You're living in a nice flat with your dad.'
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Ah!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40FEMALE SQUEALS
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- And this little piggy...!- Yeah.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Whoa!
0:15:44 > 0:15:45BOTH LAUGH
0:15:45 > 0:15:48I suppose it wouldn't do any harm to just check out what's available.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52- 'All right, I'll call you tomorrow.' - OK. Bye.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01I need the keys for number 15 for tomorrow.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- RECEPTIONIST:- OK, Dave. I've just got to finish an e-mail
0:16:04 > 0:16:06and then I'll get them from the cupboard.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Nice shorts.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Oh.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14It's, er... it's company uniform.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18- Oh! Thank God he's not wearing it. - Yeah!
0:16:19 > 0:16:21So, what do you do for Dave?
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Oh, you know. Bit of this, bit of that, bit of the other.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Oh, man of mystery!
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Come on, Jamie.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Leave the poor girl alone. Get back in the van.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37I might pop back in. I'm looking for a flat.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Oh, OK. Er, take a card. Jamie.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Thanks. Isabel.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Ah, Laura. Care to join us in a glass of fizz?
0:16:50 > 0:16:54No, thank you. Where are you off to tonight, then?
0:16:54 > 0:16:59Ah, right, we're taking over the DVD player tonight, I'm afraid.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01You're staying in?
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Apocalypse Now. Redux.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08The movie as Coppola intended it to be seen.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Hence tonight's take away - Vietnamese.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12From Saigon Express, if you want to join us?
0:17:12 > 0:17:16- No, I'll sort myself out.- OK.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Shall I order for us both?
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I'm in your hands.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24HE ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK IN DIALECT
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Er, no, OK.
0:17:28 > 0:17:33Good evening. Er, yep, er, I'd like to order some food, please.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37We'll have some nem cuon to start with, please.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41Does that still come wrapped in banh trang?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Yes, we'll have five of those, please.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45We could always babysit,
0:17:45 > 0:17:49if you want to, you know, clear off for the evening.
0:17:49 > 0:17:54No. No. I can, um, make my own entertainment.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56OK.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00It's just... you seem to be finding this a bit hard to deal with.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03No, no, it's just...
0:18:03 > 0:18:07I... I just thought it would be weird for you.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09What do you mean, weird?
0:18:09 > 0:18:13It's just that I can't really imagine being, you know,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16with an older man - much older.
0:18:16 > 0:18:21I just see a fascinating, intelligent, sexy guy.
0:18:21 > 0:18:22Who's old enough to be your father.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Oh, please, I know you prefer younger men.
0:18:25 > 0:18:31Well! At least I haven't got some kind of weird daddy complex.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Daddy...?
0:18:33 > 0:18:36I'm sorry, you've got a baby and a boyfriend
0:18:36 > 0:18:39but you're still living with your father.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Maybe you're the one with the daddy complex.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Lovely.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44HE ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK IN DIALECT
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Er, nothing. See you soon.
0:18:47 > 0:18:52Right, they say 15 minutes, but it'll probably be nearer 30.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- Well, perhaps I should go home. - What?!
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Well, your daughter seems to think we shouldn't be dating.- Laura?
0:18:58 > 0:19:02Apparently you're old enough to be my father.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Ha! Well, I'm... sure I'm not.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- Have you met him?- No.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10But I'm going to very soon,
0:19:10 > 0:19:14because we're meeting up for lunch on Friday.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18- What? You can make it? - Absolutely. Why not?- Oh!
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- He'll be so excited, poppet. - So, we, um...
0:19:24 > 0:19:26HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:19:26 > 0:19:27..still on for tonight?
0:19:27 > 0:19:32Of course, tiger! If that's what you want.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39ELECTRICAL THRUMMING
0:19:41 > 0:19:46- Sandra?- Oh... I can't sleep with that bloody noise on.
0:19:54 > 0:19:55THRUMMING STOPS
0:19:57 > 0:20:01- What are you doing? - It'll be all right for a few hours.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Huh?!
0:20:14 > 0:20:15What?
0:20:15 > 0:20:17THRUMMING RESUMES
0:20:24 > 0:20:26HE SIGHS
0:20:43 > 0:20:45THRUMMING STOPS
0:20:49 > 0:20:53What are you doing, woman? That needs to stay on!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Dad!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58- You're damaging the stock! - I don't care.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- Will you just leave it alone? - I need to sleep!
0:21:01 > 0:21:05Mum! Dad! Please! I've got to work tomorrow. Keep it down.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07ELECTRICAL POPPING
0:21:07 > 0:21:13Oh, nice one, Sandra(!) You just knackered me primary capital asset.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17- Oh, go back to sleep, Keith, will you?- I need a leak now.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21- Heads down, son, I'm coming straight over.- Huh? Eurgh!
0:21:29 > 0:21:32TINKLING
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Ohh!
0:21:32 > 0:21:33JAMIE SIGHS
0:21:43 > 0:21:45SEXUAL GROANING
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Oh, Little Piggy!
0:21:50 > 0:21:53- Come on, Mr Wolf!- Oh, Little Piggy!
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- I'll huff and...- Keep going! - ..I'll puff, and...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00BOTH MOAN
0:22:02 > 0:22:05SHE SNIFFS
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Oh, good God...!
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Keith, it smells like there's a beached whale in here.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Oh, just... Patience, love.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Takes a bit of time to build a young business.
0:22:20 > 0:22:25Keith, the whole caravan stinks of decomposing lobster.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Oh, it is early days, Sandra.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I'm just having to calibrate my pricing structure
0:22:29 > 0:22:32against the existing marketplace to maximise the bottom line.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33No, here's the bottom line.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- There's been a boardroom coup.- What?
0:22:38 > 0:22:39I'm taking over
0:22:39 > 0:22:43and I'm introducing a major revamp to marketing strategy.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46What kind of revamp?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Go on. Go on.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Morning, madam. For one day only,
0:22:56 > 0:22:59I've got a wonderful consumer opportunity for you.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Direct from the sea - fresh lobster.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Well, freshly defrosted.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Mm, smell the ocean! Nice and ripe.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11Morning, madam! For one day only, I've a wonderful...
0:23:11 > 0:23:12- MAN:- Sod off!
0:23:21 > 0:23:23MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Dave, I'm not really comfortable in these.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33Oh, take 'em off. I'm sure Miss Dixon won't mind.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36No, I mean, they're a bit revealing.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45You've got to learn to play to your strengths.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48And, let's face it, those strengths do not include decorating.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- What?- Why do you think the money's rolling in?
0:23:51 > 0:23:54There ain't no shame in playing the game.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Don't look at me like that, son.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59There's nothing wrong with providing the customer
0:23:59 > 0:24:01with a little bit of eye candy.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Especially if it keeps the work rolling in.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05So, next time Miss Dixon pops her head in
0:24:05 > 0:24:08and asks if you'd like a nice cup of tea...
0:24:08 > 0:24:10shake your booty.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Now, watch this. Go.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Good afternoon, madam. How are you today? Would you be interested...?
0:24:33 > 0:24:34- No, thanks.- I have lobster!
0:24:34 > 0:24:37I don't care if you've got lobsters or lucky heather.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39We don't want your sort on this site.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Lucky heather?! I'm not a...
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Brilliant, San.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Oh!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- That your dad's XF?- Mm-hm.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Hm, see he went for the lunar grey too. Good choice.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Here we are.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03- Now, don't be nervous. - Don't be silly, sweetpea.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Hello, sweetpea.- Hi, Dad.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- Hello.- Hello. BOTH:- We meet at last.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- I've heard so much about you. - I've heard so much about you.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- I'm Adam.- I'm... Alan.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28This is just a quickie while we're in the area.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31In and out in an hour.
0:25:30 > 0:25:31DOORBELL RINGS
0:25:31 > 0:25:33These shorts are really chafing.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Yeah. Put a bit of cream on when you get home.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Maybe shave.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41DOOR OPENS
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Ah!
0:25:43 > 0:25:45MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
0:25:46 > 0:25:49You like that, don't you?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Well, I'm sure we've got some Earl Grey somewhere.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04SHE SIGHS
0:26:02 > 0:26:04I really don't mind, Alan.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08Why don't you just go and relax, sweet... Penny.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09Fine. I will.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Look...
0:26:15 > 0:26:18I'm sorry if I was... a little quiet at the lunch.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22I wasn't really expecting your dad to be quite so...
0:26:22 > 0:26:24I mean, obviously I realised
0:26:24 > 0:26:27there'd be certain demographic similarities, but...
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Oh, Penny.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34I'm sorry, Little Piggy.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Mr Wolf will make it up to you!
0:26:37 > 0:26:39SHE SCREAMS
0:26:39 > 0:26:41- Oh, my...!- What are you doing?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46- See ya!- Oh!
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Dave! This job!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54- We need to talk.- Sure, son. Shoot.
0:26:54 > 0:26:55PHONE RINGS
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Just a sec.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- Laura, hi.- 'You're right. We SHOULD get a flat.'
0:27:02 > 0:27:04- Yeah?- 'Yeah, let's do it. Tomorrow.'
0:27:04 > 0:27:08- OK, great!- 'OK, bye.'- Bye.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Here you go.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Another good day.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Now, what was it you wanted to say about the job?
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Um...
0:27:23 > 0:27:24Same time tomorrow?
0:27:24 > 0:27:25HE CHUCKLES
0:27:32 > 0:27:36- OK, this'll do. Just dump it here. - Nah, there's a better spot.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40- Oh, come on, Keith, before somebody sees us.- Oh, all right.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45OK, go.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Great!
0:27:47 > 0:27:49No, just leave the trolley. Let's just get out of here.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52No way. That's got a pound deposit on it.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- Evening, love.- Oh, God help us!
0:28:04 > 0:28:09- I've got a job. - Oh, my God, that's fantastic!
0:28:09 > 0:28:10I'm assistant site manager.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12We're going to be a proper family.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14We're going to be just like my mum and dad.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16Well, not exactly like your mum and dad.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22I'm very confused right now.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25- I'm extremely scared and I'm partially aroused.- Ohh...