0:00:02 > 0:00:05We are holding the baby while Jamie and your father are out having sex.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08There's just something about you, Beth!
0:00:08 > 0:00:10You don't even value me at all, do you?
0:00:10 > 0:00:13- Why don't you love me?- Ah...
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Ah! There she is!
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Jeez, Evelyn, what are you doing here?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Well, I thought I'd surprise you,
0:00:33 > 0:00:36what with it being Emily's birthday party and all.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37- KEITH:- Oh, Christ, not her.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Does he know I can hear him?
0:00:41 > 0:00:43The walls are paper-thin, Keith!
0:00:43 > 0:00:46And of course, I wanted to see this lovely caravan
0:00:46 > 0:00:47I've been hearing all about.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50- Is this it?- Yeah. It's nothing special.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51I'm sure it's a palace.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54All right, Evelyn.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57All right, Keith, you little tinker, you.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59And I'm not just saying that because of the caravan.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03I understand that's your profession now - tinkering.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05I'm the maintenance manager, actually.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Ah, good for you, dressing it up like that.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11I'm sure it's great and very satisfying,
0:01:11 > 0:01:16making things work and fixing things and generally just...
0:01:16 > 0:01:18tinkering with stuff.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Yeah. We don't really have the space
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- to put you up here, Evelyn, so...- No.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Oh, don't worry, I've booked myself a caravan on the site.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Anyway, let's get the kettle on.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I'm assuming ye have kettles in these ones?
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Of course we have a kettle.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35All mod cons.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38Oh, my! Is this thing level?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40It feels very wonky to me.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44Never mind, Keith can tinker with it later.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Sorry, Keith, I mean you can do "maintenance manager" on it later.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53- I just don't think people are ready to believe we're going out.- Ah!
0:01:53 > 0:01:56So you admit it! I knew it! I knew we were.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Look, our relationship...
0:01:59 > 0:02:02A-ha! I knew this was a relationship!
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Sorry.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Our relationship is in a very early stage.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Like the honeymoon period?
0:02:10 > 0:02:13More like animal testing before human trials.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16- You're against animal testing. - Not as an analogy.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Look, this is a trial period, OK?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21If this doesn't work out, I want to be able to revert to normal
0:02:21 > 0:02:24without any mess or explanations.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Can we at least, like, hold hands?
0:02:31 > 0:02:32OK.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Hiya!- All right, how's it going?
0:02:38 > 0:02:42Isabel is driving me nuts. She's getting really clingy.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Tell me about it. It's a nightmare, innit?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50I mean, I imagine... if you're not with the right woman.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57EMILY CRIES
0:02:57 > 0:03:03Oh, come on, yeah, we can't be having this, can we?
0:03:03 > 0:03:06It's your birthday soon!
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Shh!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13JANET SOBS
0:03:15 > 0:03:21Oh, come on, we can't be having this, can we?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24You'll have to cheer up for Emily's birthday.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28Nobody wants to see you crying on her birthday, do they?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30It's just...so unfair.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34- Your father and... - LAURA SIGHS
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Well, I always thought we'd just find a way to fix things.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42Despite everything, some really good things came out of our relationship.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47We had some wonderful times together,
0:03:47 > 0:03:51amazing holidays, lovely house...
0:03:51 > 0:03:53and you, of course, Laura!
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Fourth on the list! I'm very flattered.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- I was working chronologically. - EMILY CRIES
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Oh, darling, do try and do something about her crying.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04It really is very distressing...
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Yeah! I can imagine.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09PHONE RINGS
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Her again! It's getting claustrophobic.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16So, just break up with her and move on to the next one.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18I'm not the "next one" sort of guy.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Maybe you should be. You could do with a bit more screwing around,
0:04:21 > 0:04:22playing in the field.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25You mean playing THE field.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Whatever gets you off.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Look, Isabel was what you needed at the time.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Now just ditch her and move on.- I'm not just going to just ditch her.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Might be best in the long run, you know.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42I mean, you don't want to get stuck in some 20-year relationship
0:04:42 > 0:04:44just going through the motions.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47- I'll leave you to it, then.- OK.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52So you're just going to keep on exploiting her, then, are you?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54I'm not exploiting her.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Look, I don't blame you.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58It's convenient having her place to crash at.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- It's not like that. - How is it not like that?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04You're living in her flat, you're having sex in her bed,
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- and you don't really like her. - I'm not... I do like her.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09We're just seeing where things go.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12So do you think she might be the one?
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Of course she's not...the one.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Just, at the moment, with the caravan and...
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Oh, God. I am exploiting her.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Yep.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25I have to dump her.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29PHONE RINGS
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Oh, God, it's Laura.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- Hello.- 'Jamie, hi.'
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I was thinking about our arrangements with Emily.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Laura, you can't keep changing the schedule.
0:05:38 > 0:05:43No. Uh, no, I was thinking that maybe I've been too regimented.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47So, um, whenever you want to see her...
0:05:47 > 0:05:48'..it's fine.'
0:05:48 > 0:05:51OK. That's great.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- 'We just need to be able to get on, for her sake.'- Right.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59It's not fair on a kid getting the fall-out from fighting parents.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01SHE BLOWS PARTY HOOTER
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I want us to be friends too.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08I just want a fresh start. I've applied to do a course, too.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Yeah? Great, where at?
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Oh, Open University, just from home.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Oh. So I won't be able to follow you around the country,
0:06:16 > 0:06:20- stalking you, then?- No, no.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25So don't come running after me, telling me you'll never let me go!
0:06:25 > 0:06:26No.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29'I won't.'
0:06:29 > 0:06:30No.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34'Hey. Er...'
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Why don't you ask Isabel to the party too?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Oh, I don't think Isabel would want to come.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45- (No way!)- 'Don't worry, I'm cool with it. It's the new me.'
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Yeah, I still don't think she'd...
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I insist you ask her.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51OK, I'll ask her.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52'OK.'
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- Bye.- 'Bye.'
0:06:59 > 0:07:01But it's such a step down, isn't it?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Even from your old house.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Actually, Evelyn, we love it here, don't we, San?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Mmm. It's...
0:07:11 > 0:07:12nice.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Yeah, it's not big and it's not flashy,
0:07:15 > 0:07:19but we have achieved perfect relaxation.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25- RADIO:- 'Keith, I need you in number 11 as soon as you can, please.'
0:07:26 > 0:07:29'Keith? Keith?'
0:07:29 > 0:07:30Yes, I'm on it.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35I see you've not signed them yet.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Mm-hmm.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42As your lawyer, I advise you to just get it over with.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Yep.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Need a pen?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47No, I'll get to it later.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Luke's back tonight.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53My son, Luke.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Oh, Luke.- Yeah.- Right.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Well, say hello from me.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01You can say hello yourself, he's very excited to meet you.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04I can't imagine anyone being very excited to meet me.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Well, he is.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10You can bring the divorce papers over at the same time.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11Oh, look, here's a pen.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Can't we just wait for the ambulance?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18There's nothing the ambulance can do for this one.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21FLIES BUZZ Come on, give us a hand.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Well, why do we need to lift him out?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Cos we don't want people thinking he died in the caravan.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Yes, but he did die in the caravan.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Yeah, but not because of the caravan.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33It gives the wrong impression.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Where we going to take him?
0:08:35 > 0:08:36There's a deckchair in the woods,
0:08:36 > 0:08:39we'll bung him in that, say we found him there.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Oh, I dunno. Seems a bit wrong.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46- Nah, don't worry, it's very peaceful. Very dignified up there.- Yeah?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49- Afternoon.- Hiya.- Yeah, hiya.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Hey, you.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01Hi.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Do you fancy a coffee?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08It's just I really wanted to talk to you.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Can we talk later? I'm just having a really bad day here.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15Right. How bad exactly?
0:09:15 > 0:09:17What do you mean?
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Well, is it like a bit of a bad day,
0:09:20 > 0:09:24or is it like a "can't take any more bad news" sort of...bad day?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26A sale's just fallen through
0:09:26 > 0:09:30and I've lost, like, two properties to another agency.
0:09:30 > 0:09:31How come?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Clients are just saying they prefer the other place.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Hmm, that's quite bad.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39I mean, why don't they want me?!
0:09:39 > 0:09:40I don't know.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43What's wrong with me? Am I that unlikable?
0:09:43 > 0:09:46No. No, of course not.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48You're likeable.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50I mean, you're...great.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Sorry, what did you want to talk about?
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Oh. It's Emily's birthday party...
0:09:58 > 0:10:02- Oh.- Yeah. Thought you probably wouldn't want to go, so...
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I want to go. Of course I want to go.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08What sort of message would it send if I didn't go to the party?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10I don't think it'd send any message.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12I'm coming.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Great. Great.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- HE GROANS - Wow!
0:10:16 > 0:10:18You're like a genius at this, aren't you?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20I just couldn't do it.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23It's too sudden. I have to prepare her for it.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26By inviting her to a party. Good one(!)
0:10:26 > 0:10:28It's just picking the right moment.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Yeah, sometime in your mid-30s?
0:10:30 > 0:10:33There you go. On the house.
0:10:33 > 0:10:34Uh, since when?
0:10:34 > 0:10:36I'm building customer loyalty.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- But they're always in here. - So it's working.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Didn't you get me anything?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Why would I get you anything?
0:10:44 > 0:10:45Well, cos we're...
0:10:45 > 0:10:47That's what friends do.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50But traditionally I don't get you drinks.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53It would be weird if I started now, for no reason.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Hmm, good point.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59What the hell is wrong with you two? You're both acting really weird.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Nothing!
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Nothing.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07I've seen the caravan park now
0:11:07 > 0:11:10and, despite you putting a brave face on it, it's clear to me it's a dump.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14- It's not a dump.- Good God, woman, would you listen to yourself?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16You're defending this place.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18It's only a stopgap until we get back on our feet.
0:11:18 > 0:11:23And how you going to do that exactly, on Keith's handyman's wages?
0:11:23 > 0:11:24We'll find a way.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28And that's what I'm here to offer you. Financial assistance.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30You'd do that?
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Of course. You're my sister.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Jesus, Evelyn, thanks!
0:11:37 > 0:11:40I'll expect a full financial breakdown and recovery plan.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43I suppose we could do that.
0:11:44 > 0:11:49I'll also expect a fortnightly report on Keith's search for work.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Proper work, not this paid-hobby business.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56I don't know how he'll feel about that.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Just think of yourselves as a tiny, failed European country
0:12:00 > 0:12:03who's acted irresponsibly and lost everything.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05And I'm like a big friendly Germany,
0:12:05 > 0:12:09enormous, powerful, fiscally responsible,
0:12:09 > 0:12:12and expecting to see something from my investment.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17No. No way. If we do this, she'll have exactly what she wants,
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- total control over us. - It won't be like that.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Face it, Keith, it's our only way out of this place.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I am not doing it.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28- I'm not selling my soul to her. - She's the only one buying.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- RADIO CRACKLES - Hang on a sec.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33- Hello?- 'All right, Keith?'
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I've got work to do, OK? See you in a bit.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37'Get over here to number 15.'
0:12:37 > 0:12:39It's not another code five, is it?
0:12:39 > 0:12:43'I wish. This one's very much alive. She's got a long list of complaints.'
0:12:43 > 0:12:46MENACING VIDEO GAME MUSIC AND SCREAMING
0:12:51 > 0:12:53CLASHING AND SCREAMING
0:12:53 > 0:12:54What? What's wrong?
0:12:55 > 0:12:59It just makes it all seem a bit...ominous.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Well, just ignore it.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06SCREAMING
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Can't you just have it a little bit lower, darling?!
0:13:14 > 0:13:16No!
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Well, can't you use the lovely headphones I bought you?
0:13:19 > 0:13:22No, they're crap! I wanted Beats.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24SCREAMING AND CLASHING
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Darling, please!
0:13:29 > 0:13:31We're trying to watch MasterChef.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35Then why did you have your tongue down his throat, Mother?
0:13:35 > 0:13:36Shall I go?
0:13:36 > 0:13:40No. We can't let him think this behaviour works.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43It sort of is working, though, isn't it?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50We just have to get through the holidays, then he's back at school
0:13:50 > 0:13:53and we've got the whole place to ourselves.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58That school is a life-saver.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Just a shame the fees are so excruciating.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04MUSIC AND SCREAMING
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Well, I'm sure it's excellent value.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19MUSIC: "The Winner takes It All" by Abba
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Ahh, balloons.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24Nice.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30I... I thought I'd make a start with decorations.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Try and cheer myself up.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Doesn't seem to be really doing the trick...
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Look, I know it must be really hard right now,
0:14:37 > 0:14:42but maybe in the long run it'll be for the best, you know?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44You were making each other really unhappy.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Darling, I know you're trying to be helpful,
0:14:47 > 0:14:50but you can't possibly understand how this feels.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Actually, I sort of can.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55You don't know what it's like
0:14:55 > 0:14:57to be with somebody you actually care about.
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Yes, I do.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Who?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Jamie.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06I really cared about Jamie.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- Really?- Yes.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11And like you, I blew it
0:15:11 > 0:15:13and it's too late now,
0:15:13 > 0:15:16so I'm being positive and I'm moving on.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17I've even applied to do a course.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Really? You never told me.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Well, that's because you've been too busy
0:15:22 > 0:15:24weeping over the party decorations.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28And quite frankly, I think it's time you pulled yourself together.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Hiya.- All right, Sandra.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I'd offer you some tea, but there's no water.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39- Is Keith here?- Oh, yes, he is, and it's still not sorted.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Why don't you come over to mine? It's working there.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Keith is going nowhere. He has to clean the windows, fix that blind,
0:15:44 > 0:15:47and there's some mould in the shower that needs scrubbing.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50He hasn't had his lunch yet. He's going to be starving.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Well, if these things had been done properly in the first place...
0:15:53 > 0:15:56It's not exactly gold-star, now, is it?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58I'll just go and check the stopcock in the bathroom.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02Can't you just leave it? You're only here for a couple of nights.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04I don't care about the caravan,
0:16:04 > 0:16:07but I need to establish ground rules with Keith.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10He needs to know he can't just sit around taking my money.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Do you see what I mean?
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Why don't we let Keith finish up his work here
0:16:14 > 0:16:16and go back to my caravan and have a little chat?
0:16:16 > 0:16:19KEITH HAMMERS
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Oh, and check that toilet too, Keith.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25I can't be having malfunctions in the middle of the night.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30"Oh, Keith, you little tinker!"
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Who does she think she is?
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I'll stick her in a bag and bin her.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38RADIO CRACKLES
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Hello.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45'Keith, we've got another code five.'
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Oh, God, the humanity.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51'Caravan eight. It's a bit of a messy one.'
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Yeah, I don't know if I can keep doing this.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57'Just get over here, Keith, and bring rubber gloves.'
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Oh, that's awful.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03'Anyway, I'll call you later.'
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- Yeah, OK. Bye.- 'Bye.'
0:17:06 > 0:17:10It's my friend Stephanie. She's really upset.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12What's happened?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Her boyfriend just dumped her out of the blue.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17What a...
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- Bastard.- Yeah.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21That's awful.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Unless, maybe,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28he just couldn't find the right way to tell her before then.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30That's no excuse.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35More like he was exploiting her, using her for sex
0:17:35 > 0:17:38and then just dumping her as soon as he's had his fun.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Yeah, that's no way to behave, is it?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- No, total bastard.- Hmmm...
0:17:46 > 0:17:48What you doing home?
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Oh, I just...
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Look, I just...
0:17:58 > 0:18:01..wanted to see you.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Oh! Oh, that's so sweet!
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Aw, Jamie, you're such a nice guy.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Ah, yeah, that's me.
0:18:10 > 0:18:11DOOR OPENS
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Are you all right?
0:18:21 > 0:18:26Um, San, I've been thinking about Evelyn's offer.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29I am so sorry the way that she's been treating you
0:18:29 > 0:18:33and I totally understand, we can't take the money.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36No. We have to take the money.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38I can't stand it here any more.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- I thought you loved it here.- Yeah?
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Well, that was before I had to start lugging corpses all over the place.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Corpses?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48It's all the old people here.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Every time there's a cold snap and one of them falls off the perch
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- I have to help deal with the aftermath.- Eurgh!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Just tell her we'll take the money.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59I've already told her we don't want it.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02- Then tell her we do.- I can't.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05I basically told her to stick it and she stormed off.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Evelyn!
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Evelyn! Evelyn!
0:19:13 > 0:19:15It's all right, Keith, it's OK.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Clear skies.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23It's going to be a cold night tonight.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25RAVENS CAW
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- Anything I can do to help? - No, we're all set.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Just got to pick something up from the office.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Oh, sure it can't...?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Can't. No. Back in a sec.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47You realise she's not coming back.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49What makes you think that?
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Because this is an obvious ploy to get us alone so we'll bond.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54You'll get a call in five minutes
0:19:54 > 0:19:57saying something's come up and she has to stay.
0:19:57 > 0:19:58She does it to all of them.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01All of them?
0:20:01 > 0:20:06All the men she brings in, to help out with her troubled son.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11And are there a lot of...them?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Yeah.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Behavioural psychologist, who tried to fix my head.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19There was a merchant banker - he paid for the ski trip.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23- Has she mentioned school fees to you yet?- Well, yes, but..
0:20:23 > 0:20:24Figures.
0:20:24 > 0:20:29And then there was another banker and a guy who worked in a bar.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Think that was more for her than me.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35I'd say you were about sixth in the last 12 months.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37That I know about.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46'So, do you want to go with me to Emily's birthday party?'
0:20:46 > 0:20:48OK, yeah.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49As a couple?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51'Yes.'
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Really? That's great.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Well, I suppose no-one will suspect
0:20:55 > 0:20:58two of Jamie's mates turning up at the same time.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Almost like we're not even going out.
0:21:02 > 0:21:03Pick me up at two.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Wait, I think someone's coming.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09Just hang up!
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Look, I don't mind waiting.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16'No, no, it looks like it's going to be a couple of hours at least.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- 'You and Luke go ahead and start without me.'- OK.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Well, I'll see you later, then.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24So, couple of hours, is it?
0:21:26 > 0:21:27Yep.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33Look, Alan, you seem like a smart guy,
0:21:33 > 0:21:35so I'm going to give you a chance to get out of this.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39What ARE you doing?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I'm manufacturing a crime scene.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43Why are you doing this?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Because I'm irredeemably bad, Alan.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48I'm a hopeless case.
0:21:48 > 0:21:54Unless someone wants to be my new daddy? Do you fancy that?
0:21:55 > 0:21:57No.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I assume you'll want an easy out,
0:22:01 > 0:22:03unless you're in love with my mother?
0:22:03 > 0:22:04Well...
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Thought not. Don't feel bad, she's using you too.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Well, it's very early stages of our relationship.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13LUKE LAUGHS
0:22:15 > 0:22:16Excuse me.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Thank you.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Now, all you have to do is tell her I kicked off
0:22:25 > 0:22:27and had a massive tantrum.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29You tried to talk me down,
0:22:29 > 0:22:32but in the end decided it was best just to give me space.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Maybe I can actually help you, though.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Relax. I don't need help.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40I'm sorted.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Now, I intend to spend the next three hours
0:22:42 > 0:22:45getting stoned and playing World Of Warcraft.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47I assume you don't want in on that.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Right. Well,
0:22:50 > 0:22:54I wish you the very best of luck with your future endeavours, Luke.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55And you.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57BLENDER WHIRRS, GLASS SMASHES
0:23:03 > 0:23:06I cannot believe you said he could bring his girlfriend.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Well, I'm being the bigger person.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09Hmm, yeah, you say that,
0:23:09 > 0:23:13but when you see them together you might just lose it and kick off.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14I doubt that.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Look, your dad's here.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21- Hi.- Maybe your mum will kick off?
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Nobody's going to kick off!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25We are all just going to be polite
0:23:25 > 0:23:30and we're going to eat mini pizzas and fruit kebabs like mature adults.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Oh, hi!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- Thanks for coming. - What's she doing here?
0:23:34 > 0:23:38I know. I just haven't found the right time yet.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Yeah, you should just keep going like this and marry her,
0:23:41 > 0:23:43secretly hate her for the rest of your life.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- I could just wait until she goes off me.- She's not going to go off you.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48I'll get fat or something.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Should only take a couple of months with the right diet
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- and then I'm out, clean and free.- And fat.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Hi. You look lovely.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03- I've missed you. - Let's get you some food.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Funny, after all these weeks,
0:24:15 > 0:24:18I haven't got round to signing it yet.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20No. No, me neither.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24After all the arguing and negotiations,
0:24:24 > 0:24:28that... That little ink spot seems to make it so...
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- Final.- Exactly.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37I'm glad you came, Alan.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Yes, well, I'm sure we can bear to be in the same room as each other
0:24:42 > 0:24:43for a couple of hours.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46Drink?
0:24:46 > 0:24:47God, yes!
0:24:55 > 0:24:57I'm just going to go and check on Emily.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Have you met Beth? Beth, Isabel.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01I'm Jamie's girlfriend.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05Yes! Yes, he's, uh, said a lot about you.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- All good, I hope?- Uh...
0:25:08 > 0:25:12Um, oh, have you met my boyfriend Mike?
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Yes, we've met.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Hello again.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18He thought my friend Nicola wasn't good enough for him.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20I'm just going to go over there and check on...
0:25:20 > 0:25:22No, you can stay with us and chat.
0:25:24 > 0:25:25So how you been?
0:25:29 > 0:25:30Right.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Wait, hold on, hold on.
0:25:33 > 0:25:3420 quid? Are you sure?
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Yes. It's Paul Arnold, number 17.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Hypothermia.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42He left us 200 quid in his will.
0:25:42 > 0:25:43Oh, that was good of him.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Nah, I wouldn't kiss it if I were you.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Found it down the back of his pants.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58- Here you go, son.- Cheers, Dad.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Here we go, birthday girl!
0:26:04 > 0:26:05There we go.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08I'm sorry things have been so difficult.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10I think it's just the pressure of my parents
0:26:10 > 0:26:13and moving is such a big upheaval.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19No, actually, it's me.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24It's mainly been me, being me.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26I promise I'm turning over a new leaf.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31I'm going to make a real effort to be better about, well, everything.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34- OK.- And I'm going to make a real effort to be nice to your girlfriend.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Oh, that's not...
0:26:36 > 0:26:39- Look...- No, I think it... I think it would be good for me
0:26:39 > 0:26:43to just disengage a bit, emotionally, from the whole situation.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46It's honestly not going to be an issue. I'm...
0:26:46 > 0:26:47You know what?
0:26:47 > 0:26:51Maybe... Maybe we shouldn't talk about each other's relationships.
0:26:51 > 0:26:52It's just, it's too painful
0:26:52 > 0:26:55when you still have feelings for the other person.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00So...you still have feelings?
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Yeah.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06You can't just switch off from all that
0:27:06 > 0:27:08when you've been so close to someone.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11No.
0:27:11 > 0:27:12It's too hard.
0:27:14 > 0:27:15Yeah.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19But we could...
0:27:19 > 0:27:22GUESTS: # Happy birthday to you
0:27:22 > 0:27:27# Happy birthday to you
0:27:27 > 0:27:33# Happy birthday, dear Emily
0:27:33 > 0:27:39# Happy birthday to you. #
0:27:39 > 0:27:41THEY CHEER
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Let's get a little kiss for the camera.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56Uh... I meant kiss Emily.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58Oh.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01ISABEL WAILS
0:28:03 > 0:28:05Oh, no! Isabel...
0:28:05 > 0:28:07DOOR SLAMS
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- HE MOUTHS:- Well done.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19MUSIC: "Epic Last Song" by Does It Offend You, Yeah?
0:28:19 > 0:28:23# I can't believe I made it here
0:28:23 > 0:28:29# Today I'm afraid of yesterday
0:28:29 > 0:28:34# I say, "Baby, babe I loved you a long time"
0:28:36 > 0:28:40# I'll try harder just to know you're all mine. #