0:00:10 > 0:00:14- What?- Stop, I've finished. You can stop.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Oh. Sorry.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# ..I ought to be thinking of you
0:00:21 > 0:00:27# But friendship's built on trust And that's something you never do
0:00:29 > 0:00:32# Well, who knows, maybe tomorrow
0:00:32 > 0:00:35# We can share each other's sorrow
0:00:36 > 0:00:40# And compare our graveside manner
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# As we wave our lonely banners
0:00:43 > 0:00:46# If you ever think of me
0:00:46 > 0:00:49# I'll be thinking of you
0:00:50 > 0:00:54# If you decide to change your view
0:00:54 > 0:00:56# I'm thinking of you
0:00:58 > 0:01:02# You can walk away from loneliness
0:01:02 > 0:01:04# Any time you choose
0:01:05 > 0:01:07# And you're the sort of person
0:01:07 > 0:01:11# That hasn't anything to lose
0:01:12 > 0:01:16# But who cares, maybe tomorrow
0:01:16 > 0:01:20# You can lead and I could follow
0:01:20 > 0:01:22# So walk where angels fear to tread
0:01:22 > 0:01:26# For everything you've ever wanted
0:01:26 > 0:01:29# And if you ever think of me
0:01:29 > 0:01:32# I'll be thinking of you... #
0:01:32 > 0:01:34KETTLE WHISTLES
0:01:37 > 0:01:43'..has put cyclists into conflict with the corporation of London...'
0:01:43 > 0:01:46I'm meeting your mum later, sort out the family lunch.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Did you call anyone about the buttonholes?
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Yeah, er, I'll... I'll give someone a call today.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Are you, erm...?
0:01:58 > 0:02:01'..because there are signs that say "No Cycling"...'
0:02:01 > 0:02:05- I forgot what I was gonna say.- That's because you're watching the telly.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Sorry.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Are you, erm...?
0:02:13 > 0:02:16- What are you having for lunch? - Why are you asking me that?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- Just wondered.- A salad.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- What do you think Karen's gonna have?- I dunno what Karen's gonna have for lunch.
0:02:25 > 0:02:30'The cycle paths on Hampstead Heath are quite clearly marked, so...'
0:02:30 > 0:02:32TV BLARES IN DISTANCE
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Thanks, Auntie Marge.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Margaret.
0:02:42 > 0:02:47No, thanks. The thing is, Margaret, that, erm, I'm not saying that I don't like...
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- er, Jumpin' Joe's Steak and Grill... - Well, that's settled then.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56I was gonna say that although I do like it, and I'm really pleased you booked it, I just think...
0:02:56 > 0:03:00- Do you really like it, or are you just saying that?- Oh, yeah, I do.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Well, great. That's settled then.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06- It's just... isn't it a chain restaurant?- So?
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Well...- Donna...
0:03:08 > 0:03:13you don't get to sell garlic bread to millions of people without knowing a thing or two about food.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- Yeah, but isn't the food a bit... - Yeah, the food's lovely, isn't it?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Oh, yeah, yeah. No, the food's...
0:03:19 > 0:03:26- It's not lovely for the vegetarians. - There's plenty of choice! There's a salad BAR...with croutons.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30You don't get chips in Australia, you get fried potatoes.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36- You don't get chips?- Well, yeah, you do get chips if you want 'em.
0:03:36 > 0:03:41Er, the thing is, erm, Margaret, that...
0:03:41 > 0:03:46- I actually had another restaurant in mind, for the meal.- Oh.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51- Yeah, it's a lovely little place called Temples. - Does Temples have a salad bar?
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- No, it doesn't have a salad bar. - Look, Donna,
0:03:54 > 0:04:00if you don't want to go to Jumpin' Joe's Steak and Grill, just tell me.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02OK.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04I don't want to go!
0:04:04 > 0:04:09There, look, I just think it's a little bit...
0:04:09 > 0:04:11It's... It's a little bit...
0:04:11 > 0:04:12shit.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Louise, you're supposed to be working.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19I am! What do you want?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Nothing.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- Donna!- Hi. Sorry I'm late.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31How's the arrangements going? Excited?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34- Yeah.- Wow, I can feel the euphoria(!)
0:04:34 > 0:04:38I just found out we're not exchanging contracts on the wedding day.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Karl wants to wait a few weeks...
0:04:39 > 0:04:41for tax purposes.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Romantic.- I don't know, it's just...
0:04:44 > 0:04:48I mean, I was lying there the other night in bed with Karl, looking at him, and...
0:04:48 > 0:04:52he was snoring, and he had a little fleck of saliva in the corner of his lip, and...
0:04:52 > 0:04:57I just found myself wondering what it would be like to...chop his head off.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I dunno.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Well, I've been thinking about the hen night,
0:05:05 > 0:05:08I'm just going to say one word to you - spit-roast.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12A couple of escorts I know, Jamal and Kevin, nice boys,
0:05:12 > 0:05:16- clean, they're gonna meet us at the Marquis.- But Tanya's organising the hen night.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- What?- I thought you knew. She's my maid of honour.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23I thought you just gave her that cos she's fat. You can't be serious, fat Tanya?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- She's got it all sorted. We're all going to bingo.- Bingo?
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- Yeah. She's printed us T-shirts. - Bingo?- I knew you'd say that, but it's...
0:05:30 > 0:05:33It's a laugh. Tanya goes all the time. There's a bar...
0:05:33 > 0:05:37- Bingo?- ..you can eat there. It's not what you think. - It sounds great, Donna.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39I love old people.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- It's not like that, it's...- Bingo?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Listen, I'm going out now, so I'll see you later. OK?
0:06:13 > 0:06:14Oh, Donna, Mum called.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17She said something about the restaurant being booked now.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21She's paying for the meal, so it's up to her where we go.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22For God's sake!
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Have a great time.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26We fucking will!
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- So where we going then?- What?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Are we going out?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35And she holds it up to me and she says,
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- "Mummy, do stars come from your tummy as well?"- Aw!
0:06:41 > 0:06:45And I remember the first time I changed Leon's nappy.
0:06:45 > 0:06:50I remember I was standing up, I had to stand cos of the stitches,
0:06:50 > 0:06:51he ripped me apart, little bugger,
0:06:51 > 0:06:55and I was cleaning the poop from his lovely bottom,
0:06:55 > 0:06:59and he got a little tiny erection, and he wee'd on my shirt. I thought,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01"This is what life's about -
0:07:01 > 0:07:05"this little bundle of joy, not me.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07"I'm just a vessel."
0:07:08 > 0:07:11But let's get you married first.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Well done, Donna.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Now you're one of us.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Oh!
0:07:19 > 0:07:22No, look, hang on, right, it's 20 quid from everyone.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25And no, we are not buying individual cards, Dianne,
0:07:25 > 0:07:29because for every 20 cards you buy, you get the 21st free.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- So unless you're planning on... - Does that include booze?
0:07:32 > 0:07:37- It includes three units of alcohol each.- There's more than three units of alcohol in my urine!
0:07:37 > 0:07:42Double vodkas all round. What do you want, love? Something soft? Hooch? Carlsberg?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44I tell you what, I'll get you a surprise.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48- Actually, I could do with a... - With all due respect, Tanya, shut up.
0:07:51 > 0:07:56- Right, so that's 20 each. I'm putting in 15 cos I'm scooting off early.- What?
0:07:56 > 0:08:01- Yeah, well, I'm not going to the club. I'm gonna leave at 9.30. - What? You're not going to the club?
0:08:01 > 0:08:04But it's my hen night, you're my maid of honour.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- But we've got to drive to the coast tomorrow morning.- Why?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Dan's jet-ski weekend.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12But Tanya!
0:08:12 > 0:08:14What? Dianne's leaving at 10.30.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Are you...Dianne?
0:08:17 > 0:08:20But... What... I mean... Who else is going early?
0:08:22 > 0:08:24What is this? What's the matter with you?!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26This is my hen night!
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- BINGO CALLER: - 'Eyes down for a full house.'
0:08:29 > 0:08:32All the ones, it's the legs 11.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37'One and six, 16.'
0:08:38 > 0:08:40'On its own, the number six.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44'Nine-oh, blind 90.'
0:08:45 > 0:08:48'All the twos, 22.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51'Eight and two, 82.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54'On its own, number 4.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57'One and three, 13.'
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh, shit!
0:09:02 > 0:09:03- WOMAN FARTS - Oopsie.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08TOILET FLUSHES
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Ooh, sorry, I thought I was alone!
0:09:15 > 0:09:16- Dianne?- Yes?
0:09:18 > 0:09:23- Are you happy?- What? - Are you, you know, are you happy?
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Happy? Oh, yeah.- Are you?
0:09:25 > 0:09:30Of course. Max is doing brilliantly, Isla's loving nursery. Oh, and Toby's just got promotion.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33- Of course I'm happy. - Well, what about you?
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Can you hand me one of those towels, please, Donna?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- What were you saying? - What about you? Are you...
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Oh, that smells nice. What is it, Molton Brown?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44No, I don't think so.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47No, look, are you, though? Are you... Are you...
0:09:53 > 0:09:54Ooh! Just...
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Donna, we are just so excited that you're getting married!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Come on you, bride-to-be, hanging around in the toilets.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13- Let's get you back out there where the fun is.- Oh.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Two-oh, blind 20.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- 'Eight and seven, 87.'- House!
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- 'It looks like we have a winner.' - House! I've won.
0:10:23 > 0:10:30- She's won. She's won.- The £900 jackpot going to the ladies in red. Congratulations, ladies!
0:10:30 > 0:10:33ALL SCREAM AND CHEER
0:10:35 > 0:10:40- Give us the money! - Look, Donna, I'm trying to help, I really am, but it was my card.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Tanya, we pooled our cash, we all won that money.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46If you think about it, I was the only one concentrating on the flippin' game.
0:10:46 > 0:10:51- That's hen night money!- Well, yeah. But technically, I actually won it.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- Well, we'll give you your share! - And I'm going home now, so...
0:10:54 > 0:10:56I can't believe you're being like this!
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Look, there's no point arguing. I don't want us to fall out.
0:11:01 > 0:11:06This is your hen night, this is your special night.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10- So why don't I just lend you... - Lend us?- ..a few quid so you can...
0:11:10 > 0:11:14No, look, I am going to give you...
0:11:14 > 0:11:18There, I am going to give you 50 quid. That is on me.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22That is free. That is... a couple of bottles of Champagne.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41DANCE MUSIC
0:11:49 > 0:11:52SHE SOBS
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Listen, get the cab with her. She's got the money, so get home safe.
0:12:06 > 0:12:11- Take your baby home.- I'm staying! Yeah!- OK. Group photo, everyone.
0:12:11 > 0:12:16- One, two, three, Sophie Titwank. - Sophie Titwank!- Oh, lovely.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24If he suggests doing anything even slightly unsavoury,
0:12:24 > 0:12:28just do it and buy yourself a present the next day...
0:12:28 > 0:12:30I will. I love you.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- Ah-h-h!- I love her, though! I love her!
0:12:33 > 0:12:37- I got 600 quid!- Come on!- Yeah! - LAUGHTER
0:12:38 > 0:12:41So how did you know Karl was the one?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44I didn't really like any of my other boyfriends.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46But what made you want to marry him?
0:12:46 > 0:12:50We've been together for five years, so it felt like the logical next step.
0:12:50 > 0:12:55- That's beautiful(!) You should get that engraved on something for him. - No, I mean, it feels right.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59It's the right time, because I'm probably going to wanna...
0:12:59 > 0:13:04- start a family at some stage and buy a house. I can't do that on my own. - SHE GIGGLES NERVOUSLY
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Karl's a good man.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12- What do you know about men?- I'm just saying he's dependable.- Dependable?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- Would you marry him?- Fuck, no!- What?
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- No, I mean, I just like men who are a bit more...- Fictional?- Deeper.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23- Deeper?- No, I mean, Karl's great cos he doesn't think too much.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27- Jesus!- No, I mean, he's good cos you know what he's thinking.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29- So he's predictable? - But in a good way.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Karen, please explain what I'm trying to say.- OK...
0:13:32 > 0:13:35- Imagine Karl's dead.- What?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37No, that's horrible!
0:13:37 > 0:13:41Just imagine he's dead. Imagine a crane fell on him or something.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- No!- Please, just imagine, Donna, for a second.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Heart attack, buried alive, whatever.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49OK!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- He's dead.- Right.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Better, innit?
0:14:00 > 0:14:04The other nice thing about Karl is that he'd never hit you.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13MUSIC DROWNS CONVERSATION
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Have the drugs kicked in yet? - We haven't taken any.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Yeah, but it's like it, isn't it? Come on!
0:14:35 > 0:14:37CHEERING
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I'm not gonna get married!
0:15:17 > 0:15:21- I'm not doing it! - ALL CHEER
0:15:29 > 0:15:33- # I'm in the moo-ood for dancing... # - Karl... Karl, don't.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Feeling a bit delicate, are we? Poor baby.- I just feel...
0:15:36 > 0:15:39You look quite sexy with a hangover. Have a good night then?
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- Yeah, it was really good. How about yours?- Yeah, yeah, it was good.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Darren brought round a copy of the Goonies. It was mad!
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Yeah, mad. Erm...
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- Look, Karl, I think there's something...- Ta-da!
0:15:52 > 0:15:54- What's this?- Breakfast.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58Well, to be more precise, some lucky lady's favourite breakfast.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Wow, this is...
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Gosh, I mean, that's...fantastic.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Well, nothing's too good for my wife.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Karl, er, I need to talk to you about something.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Fantastic, because I want to talk to you as well.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- Let's get in position.- I don't think that's a good idea.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- Come on, you used to love this. - All right.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Look, Karl...
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- ..the thing is...- Kiss.- What?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Kiss first.- Karl, can't we...
0:16:26 > 0:16:29I want my morning kiss first, or my lips are sealed.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I love you.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44OK, me first. Are you ready? Are you ready for the best news of your life?
0:16:44 > 0:16:49- Karl!- Are you ready to find out what kind of man you're marrying? Are you ready to be the owner of a house?
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- What?- The house! I've exchanged contracts while you were asleep.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- You...- Yeah, this morning. It's all in my name.- Your name?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Yeah. We can sort all that out after the wedding.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02The thing is...we've got the house! It's ours!
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Look at you, you're lost for words.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08This is great!
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Go on then, your news. Top that!
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Well, erm...
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I'm not sure if I want this.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- What, breakfast?- No.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Marriage.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- What? I don't...- I think it might be a bad idea to get married.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Nah.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Is that...? Are you...? All right, I mean,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Are you...? Is that...?
0:17:36 > 0:17:38- That isn't...?- I just think...
0:17:39 > 0:17:42I just think maybe we're rushing into it.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- I'm not rushing into it. - But maybe...
0:17:44 > 0:17:46You know, maybe we're not sure.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48- I'm... I'm sure.- And that maybe...
0:17:48 > 0:17:50- OK.- Maybe we're...we're not ready.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54- OK. Right. Please don't.- Karl.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Please, please don't do this, Donna.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Karl, don't...
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Please, please, please. I mean, please, don't leave me, please.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- Don't beg, Karl, please, I just...- I wanna beg.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Is it something I've done? I can change that, whatever it is.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- No, it's nothing you've... - Why? I mean...what have I...?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12I haven't done anything! I haven't...
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Oh, God!
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God!
0:18:20 > 0:18:23Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God...!
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Karl, you're scaring me. You're acting really...
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God!
0:18:31 > 0:18:35Please, God, no! Please don't let this...
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I don't know what I'm gonna...
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Karl! Karl! Karl, are you OK?
0:18:44 > 0:18:45We don't even talk any more.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48We can talk now.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Things have gotten boring. We've become boring.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- Well, do you wanna do a threesome or something?- What?!
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- I mean, with a man or something. If that's what you want? - Karl, I don't...
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I'm willing to give it a go. I just don't want to touch his...
0:19:02 > 0:19:06- I'll suck it, but I won't have it in my...- I just don't wanna marry you.
0:19:06 > 0:19:11- But you said you would. - Yeah, I know, but you asked me to marry you three years ago,
0:19:11 > 0:19:15and when I said yes, well, I didn't think we'd last!
0:19:15 > 0:19:16I think I'm going to be sick.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Karl, I think you're being a bit melodramatic...
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Right, and that's not gonna...
0:19:24 > 0:19:26That's not helping anyone!
0:19:26 > 0:19:27I'm dying.
0:19:27 > 0:19:33Look, Karl, I can't keep going round and round like this, OK? I'm sorry.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35I've made up my mind.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37OK, Donna. OK.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42All right. I'm gonna clean that up and...
0:19:42 > 0:19:45then I'm gonna call your mum and cancel the lunch.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- No, I... I wanna do the lunch. - But Karl...
0:19:48 > 0:19:51You've gotta do it. My mum's organised it. Everyone'll be there.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56- Please, just do the lunch, and then we'll sort all this stuff out. - Oh, Christ!
0:19:56 > 0:20:01All right, look, we'll do the lunch, but I'll have to call your mum and tell her the wedding's off.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05- Er, don't tell her the wedding's off. - What are you talking about?
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Please don't tell my mum!
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Karl, we can't just sit there and...
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- Please, don't tell her, not yet. Not today.- What are we gonna say?!
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Well, we'll say nothing. We'll pretend it's all OK.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20- No! That's insane! - Just give me one more day, please?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Our last day.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25No, Karl.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27OK, Donna.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29OK.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34All right, keep the change.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35Thanks a lot. All the best to yer.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Well, you only do it once. All right. Pop in for a glass of bubbly.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- Happy?- No!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Stop drinking like that.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03You look beautiful.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05I'm so lucky.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07I'm gonna kill you when we get out of here!
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Look, I just want to say a couple of words, if I may.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16Now, obviously, I'll leave the speech till the wedding,
0:21:16 > 0:21:18but for those of you who don't know,
0:21:18 > 0:21:21they've exchanged contracts on the house!
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- ALL:- Aw!
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Oh, look at Donna's face! Sorry, Donna,
0:21:27 > 0:21:30I couldn't keep it quiet any longer.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Now, I think Karl wants to say a few words.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41- Get on with it, mate! - Oh, God. Oh, God...
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Come on, Karl!
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Karl's just, erm...
0:21:48 > 0:21:49- Hangover. - ALL TEASE HIM
0:21:49 > 0:21:53So I'm gonna speak for him.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54Get used to it, Karl.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Yes. Yeah, that... That's funny.
0:21:57 > 0:22:04Er, so Karl and I are looking forward to this wedding, I suppose.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- Give him a kiss!- Yeah, go on!
0:22:09 > 0:22:10- ALL:- Woo!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13I love you, Karl.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Er, well, it's... It's gonna be the biggest and best day our lives.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- And, er... - WHISTLING
0:22:21 > 0:22:24..to see so many of you here sharing...
0:22:26 > 0:22:28..well, sharing our love, actually...
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Pass the sick bucket.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32..means, erm, means so much to us.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35No, it really does, because, erm...
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Well, you're the people who matter most.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42As we find ourselves about to begin this...
0:22:42 > 0:22:46this new life together, we feel privileged that so many of you have, er...
0:22:46 > 0:22:50chosen to be here with us at the start...
0:22:50 > 0:22:52of that great adventure.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54ALL: Aw!
0:22:54 > 0:22:55This man,
0:22:55 > 0:22:56this...
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Karl, he's a good...
0:22:59 > 0:23:05He's a lovely man, and he deserves so much.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Better than me, actually.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11And I can only say that he has embellished my life
0:23:11 > 0:23:16with love to such an extent that...
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Donna's cancelled the wedding.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21She doesn't love me any more. Thank you.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Erm, can't remember what I was gonna...
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Erm, that...that...
0:23:34 > 0:23:37..that, erm... I'm just trying to think...
0:23:37 > 0:23:39- Get your thinking cap on, Donna. - Fuck off, prick!
0:24:05 > 0:24:06I'm so sorry, Karl.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Karl, no, that's not a good idea.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18What are you doing? For God's sake, are you mental? Get off me!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow, Donna.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Can't hang about.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Oh...God!
0:24:28 > 0:24:32Right. I... I'd better... Thank you for the... OK, bye.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Ow!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- Margaret! - Where do you think you're going?
0:24:40 > 0:24:45- Look, I thought it was best if I just go.- Well, you're wrong, it is not best.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49- Margaret...- You're gonna get back there, say you're sorry and marry my son.
0:24:49 > 0:24:55I did not buy a £500 suit and spend six weeks looking for a church with disabled access for you to just go.
0:24:55 > 0:25:01- Look, Margaret, I really love Karl, but...- Good! That's settled then. Now get back in there!
0:25:01 > 0:25:05No, look, I'm sorry, I really am, but it would just be wrong for both of us.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- Not for me it wouldn't. - I meant me and Karl.
0:25:08 > 0:25:13Who gives a shit about you and Karl? I've got a table full of guests expecting a wedding tomorrow.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18Look, Donna, why don't you just marry him, and if you still feel the same in a couple of weeks...
0:25:18 > 0:25:21I'm not going to marry someone I don't want to marry!
0:25:21 > 0:25:25- What's wrong with him?- There's nothing wrong with him, he's just...
0:25:25 > 0:25:28There's something missing in my life.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31And I realised that last night.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35I just want to feel happy, Margaret, I just...
0:25:35 > 0:25:38I just think life should be...fun.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42You're destroying my son's life for fun?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45No, that sounds... Yeah, sort of.
0:25:46 > 0:25:51Well, you have your fun, because Karl's better off without you!
0:25:51 > 0:25:55And let me tell you, do not expect him to be there when YOU come crawling back,
0:25:55 > 0:25:59because I will tell you one thing about my son, he has more dignity than...
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Donna, Donna, Donna!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna...
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Donna, Donna, Donna,
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Donna, Donna, Donna!
0:26:14 > 0:26:16'I'm a terrible person.'
0:26:18 > 0:26:21You're not a terrible person.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22But if you'd seen his face,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25he was so hurt.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- I'm evil.- You're not evil.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32I know evil, and you're not evil.
0:26:32 > 0:26:37- Yeah, anyway, you've done it now, there's no going back. - Thank you, Louise(!)
0:26:37 > 0:26:40No, I'm just saying, even if she did, it's too late.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Too much pain there now.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45I don't think you can destroy a man and then go back to him.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46Ow!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Sorry!
0:26:51 > 0:26:53So where you gonna stay?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55She can stay here.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57- Is that OK?- But there's no room.
0:26:57 > 0:27:02- She can have the spare room. - What spare room?- The spare room! - What spare room?
0:27:02 > 0:27:05The spare room, Louise! The spare room.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07The shit room.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Oh, the shit room.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12The shit room?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Here we go.
0:27:16 > 0:27:21We call it the shit room cos it's where we chuck all the bits of old shit that nobody wants.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23So what do you think?
0:27:23 > 0:27:27With a brush-brush here and a mop-mop there...!
0:27:27 > 0:27:33I tell you what, we're gonna leave you to settle in for a bit, I'll go and buy us some booze,
0:27:33 > 0:27:36so that we can celebrate your new-found freedom. All right?
0:27:36 > 0:27:41Yeah. Yeah, you know, I just really feel like this is going to be...