0:00:26 > 0:00:30APPLAUSE
0:00:30 > 0:00:31Good evening, good evening.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening,
0:00:35 > 0:00:40and welcome to QI and to an evening of levity.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Let's see who's got the "light" stuff -
0:00:43 > 0:00:45the light-fantastic Sue Perkins...
0:00:45 > 0:00:50APPLAUSE
0:00:50 > 0:00:52..the light-footed Josh Widdicombe...
0:00:52 > 0:00:55CHEERING
0:00:55 > 0:00:58..the lightly-armed Frank Skinner...
0:00:58 > 0:01:01CHEERING
0:01:01 > 0:01:05..and the light's on but nobody's home, Alan Davies.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07APPLAUSE
0:01:10 > 0:01:12So, light up your lamps,
0:01:12 > 0:01:17and the Latin L, which is of course 50 in Roman numerals, if you can
0:01:17 > 0:01:20tell me what they have in common,
0:01:20 > 0:01:22all these little buzzer noises.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Sue goes...
0:01:23 > 0:01:25OWL HOOTS
0:01:25 > 0:01:26Josh goes...
0:01:26 > 0:01:30BEARD CLIPPERS BUZZ
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Frank goes...
0:01:31 > 0:01:33CLOTH RIPS
0:01:34 > 0:01:35And Alan goes...
0:01:35 > 0:01:39PIG SQUEALS
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Any thoughts?
0:01:40 > 0:01:44They're all noises made by Jeremy Clarkson during the intimate act.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48LAUGHTER
0:01:48 > 0:01:51We've kept you two apart whenever we've done a show, for good reasons.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54- OWL HOOTS - Yeah. Yeah, so you've got an owl.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55PIG SQUEALS
0:01:55 > 0:01:58He howls like an owl. "He squeal like a pig."
0:01:58 > 0:01:59CLIPPERS BUZZ
0:02:01 > 0:02:05And it definitely, definitely ends...
0:02:05 > 0:02:07RIPPING
0:02:09 > 0:02:11That's the final rip to the trouser.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12APPLAUSE
0:02:12 > 0:02:15It's hard not to say that you've probably...
0:02:15 > 0:02:17That's when Richard Hammond pops out.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19- Oh!- Oh! I must say!
0:02:19 > 0:02:22That's the final rip of stonewashed denim, isn't it, that noise?
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Would it help if I said it was L for law.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29- Law with a W, not an O-R-E.- No.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Jewish law, which was known as, for eating?
0:02:32 > 0:02:34For...kosher.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- Kosher, yes. And I said levity was our theme, levit...- Leviticus.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Leviticus. Leviticus! - Oh! So shellfish and...
0:02:40 > 0:02:43- Well, we didn't hear any shellfish, did we?- No, we didn't.- No.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- Unless, I wasn't sure about Josh's. - But we heard an owl.- Yeah.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50A beard being shaved, the rending of cloth and a pig.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Ah, and a pig. So they're all things prohibited by...
0:02:53 > 0:02:56- Anything to do with a pig is forbidden.- Brian Blessed!
0:02:56 > 0:03:01- AS BRIAN BLESSED:- No, Brian Blessed is not kosher, no.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04No! Oh, dear, dear.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08So that's what they have in common. All your buzzers are forbidden by Jewish law.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11- That's very awkward, because I'm Jewish, so...- Also...
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- I can't take part in this for the rest of the show.- No.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Also, if I were to go round and say, "Josh, can I have sex with you?"
0:03:17 > 0:03:21- just on the top of my head, that would also be... - Sex on the top of your head?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25That's not the bit I had an issue with. No.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29- That would be an over-protected thing.- I've never heard of kosher sex.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- That would be an abomination, according to Leviticus. - It would indeed, Stephen.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35So, they're all things forbidden in the Book of Leviticus - you mustn't
0:03:35 > 0:03:37eat an owl, trim your beard,
0:03:37 > 0:03:40tear your clothes or have anything to do with a pig. Sorry.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43No, what does it mean "nothing to do with it"?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45What if he comes up to you, you just have to go...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47You have to shun him, Josh.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Blank him.- Blank him. I know... Sorry, mate, not interested!
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- I just blanked him.- Snub. - Like a chugger in the street.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57- Snub that pig.- Pretend you're on your phone, sorry.- Yeah, blank him.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Now, one of our questions tonight is likely lavatorial.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05See if you can flush it out by going for a Spend-A-Penny bonus.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12All you have to do is brandish your baton and buzz your buzzer.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14And there are lots of points for it, lots.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18It's really worth risking that the answer might be something
0:04:18 > 0:04:19lavatorial.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23But first here's a lark. You each have a balloon, as I do.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27And what I want you to do is, oooh, is a levitation trick.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30It's all to do with static electricity,
0:04:30 > 0:04:31as you might have guessed.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Well, the idea is to... Oh, that's already, whoa, that's...
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Oh, oh, no, that doesn't. Oh, no!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Yes! Yes!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Wow!- Yes, oh!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Alan got it.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53You charge up the plastic and the balloon,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55but you have to charge both of them.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Well, yes, you can use your hair.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59If anybody's hair can do this, it's Alan's.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01I take that as a slight.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02I can't get it off now.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06I know, that's as well, as it sticks to your fingers, you have to just...
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- Oh, and now, oh, not quite. - Yes! Yes!
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Oh, brilliant!
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Aargh!
0:05:14 > 0:05:18Patrick McGoohan in The Prisoner there, very good.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20It's that sort of fatal thing they get in Star Trek
0:05:20 > 0:05:21when they didn't have any money.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Ooh, put some music on, and they go, "Arrgh!"
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Someone in a red top.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32The fact is, yes, scientifically, you should be able to do it
0:05:32 > 0:05:35repeatably and predictably, but it's quite hard.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38But I promise you this, I will show you, before this evening is
0:05:38 > 0:05:41over, a levitation effect that will blow your socks off.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Not literally, but will really impress you.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44That's going to come.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Meanwhile, what's the funny thing about lightning?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50- Oh.- The funny thing about it?
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Well, given that it is a natural phenomenon that mankind
0:05:53 > 0:05:56has been aware of for all the time that we've been on the planet.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- It makes you laugh.- We're still captivated, freaked-out and surprised by it...
0:05:59 > 0:06:03- We're captivated, and surprised and don't understand it.- Oh!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- No.- We can't explain it. - We know a little bit about it.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Oh, we do...- We know that thunderbolt and lightning
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- is very, very frightening. - Very, very frightening!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- It's white, it's forked.- Yes. - Or sheet.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- It's electric.- "Or sheet," you say? No, not "or sheet".
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Sheet lightning is the same as forked lightning, it's just hidden by a cloud.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Oh, so it's an illuminated cloud that gives that band of...
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Yeah, it's just basically... Exactly.- OK.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29But one of the myths about it is that it will always strike
0:06:29 > 0:06:31what part of a building?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Highest.- The highest point, and that's not true.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36We've got a photograph to show you how untrue that is, of it
0:06:36 > 0:06:39hitting Grant's Tomb there. There's a branch of it hitting the top,
0:06:39 > 0:06:42but the huge part of the fork there is hitting two thirds of the way up.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Half of lightning goes up from the ground,
0:06:44 > 0:06:47and at about 300 feet up they meet each other.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49- I know, it's weird. Yes, so... - What? Lightning goes upwards?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- Oh, yes, absolutely.- Wrong.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52No!
0:06:53 > 0:06:5690% of strikes on the Empire State Building,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59for example, are ascending strikes, rather than descending strikes.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I know it seems astonishing, but photography allows us to see
0:07:02 > 0:07:05this phenomenon of it coming up from the ground
0:07:05 > 0:07:08and meeting with the sky forks, as it were.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10- Wow.- "Sky Fawkes".- "Sky Fawkes". - Weird.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14My dad used to, whenever there was lightning, we had to open
0:07:14 > 0:07:18the knife drawer and put a tea towel over the knives and forks, to
0:07:18 > 0:07:21avoid it coming through the window and striking, and turn the TV off.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24It's the only time the TV was ever turned off,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26it was quite a big thing.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28The drawer is closed, is that not doing it?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30He'd open the drawer to cover it with the tea towel.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- No, there's something about the tea towel.- Individually cover?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35You know, tea towels have got that earthing quality.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- JOSH:- Did you not have anything else that was metal?
0:07:38 > 0:07:40- Just the knives and forks.- The taps.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43No, I think that's all we had. That was it.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46And can I say we had no piercings in our family.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49From lightning to lighthouses.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51What is the most famous lighthouse in the world?
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Oh, I don't know, the one on the Needles is quite famous.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56The Needles is quite famous, yes.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58I mean, there was one that was the...
0:07:58 > 0:08:00one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Oh, which is in Spain, is it not? Or, is that Hercules's Tower or something, there's a...
0:08:04 > 0:08:05It's something Hercules.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09Faros, Faros, it's the Alexandrian lighthouse.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12I love the way you looked at me as though I got that right,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15whilst telling me that every aspect of it was wrong.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19- You were, you know...- I loved that, it made me feel good about myself.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- You were wrestling the puppy knowledge with great affection. - Yeah.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Actually all those lighthouses, the Eddystone, the Kenilworth,
0:08:25 > 0:08:28might be known by quite a section of the population,
0:08:28 > 0:08:30but this one, everyone knows the name of this one.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34What they probably don't know is that it was originally a lighthouse.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Empire State Building. - Not the Empire State Building.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Statue of Liberty.- Yes! The Statue of Liberty, well done.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- Oh, of course. - Absolutely right. There it is.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43It was visible from 24 miles out to sea.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46It was a gift to America from...?
0:08:46 > 0:08:51- France.- From the French, yes. And originally what colour was it?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53- Orange.- Was it?
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Not red and white like, oh, like that!
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Well, it was always intended to go green, because it's copper colour.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- That's the gayest lighthouse I've ever seen.- It's copper colour.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04You're absolutely right, Alan, it has a thin sheet of copper leaf, as it were, over it.
0:09:04 > 0:09:09- So it can go that... - Originally it shone copperly, but like all copper does...
0:09:09 > 0:09:11- Oxidizes.- Yeah.- Gets verdigris.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14And so you get copper carbonate and verdigris is the name for it, exactly.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18You see those domes and things, that green colour that is Lady Liberty.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23And there's her torch. And in 1986 was the centenary,
0:09:23 > 0:09:25and they decided to give her a bit of a makeover.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29And actually, the one bit that didn't need the makeover
0:09:29 > 0:09:31was the copper skin, except in the torch.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36And it needed a special technique called repousse or repoussage,
0:09:36 > 0:09:40and no American craftsman could be found who could do it,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42so a French team came over.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46And Americans, we think of them as very...you know, capitalist,
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- as America is a capitalist county, obviously...- And fat.- And fat!
0:09:49 > 0:09:50It's also very unionised,
0:09:50 > 0:09:54and the American labourers were totally antagonistic.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55Da Teamsters?
0:09:55 > 0:09:57They gave the French... yeah, they were like Teamsters.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00They gave the French workers the complete cold shoulder.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02The French workers wore uniforms,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05and every lunchtime, set up a long table with a tablecloth
0:10:05 > 0:10:07and had wine and fantastic food...
0:10:07 > 0:10:11and the Americans sat alone eating burgers and other things
0:10:11 > 0:10:13and letting their stomachs push out further and further.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17And the French used this wonderful technique of little hammers.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21"Marteaux", you know? And someone from the French team said,
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- FRENCH ACCENT:- "We did everything by hand. The Americans couldn't believe
0:10:24 > 0:10:26"that the best way to rivet is with hammers.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28"It's cheaper, faster and better,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31"but they will always try to find some machine."
0:10:31 > 0:10:35And that is absolutely... You go ice fishing with Americans,
0:10:35 > 0:10:37they have these... you know, extraordinary motor augers
0:10:37 > 0:10:40- that drill a hole. - Oh, yeah, like in Fargo.- Exactly.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44- Yeah. In the Titanic museum in Belfast...- Mmm.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45..which is quite good.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47LAUGHTER
0:10:47 > 0:10:49They'll be using that on all their promotion.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50"Quite good" - Alan Davies.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- IRISH ACCENT:- You'd better do a bit better, there, Belfast, now.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Not good enough, really, for Alan!
0:10:55 > 0:10:57LAUGHTER
0:10:57 > 0:11:01I think that's one of his best ones. You go there and they've got
0:11:01 > 0:11:04the reconstruction of the building of it, and that's the best bit.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- Yeah.- And lots and lots of the rivets were done by hand.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10- Yes, they were. - And you'd got hundreds of riveters,
0:11:10 > 0:11:12and they would do an incredible number of rivets in an hour,
0:11:12 > 0:11:16and in awful conditions. Very cramped, hot...and so...
0:11:16 > 0:11:20It's really quite absorbing. Riveting, I meant(!)
0:11:20 > 0:11:21LAUGHTER
0:11:21 > 0:11:23I was at the airport in Belfast,
0:11:23 > 0:11:28and I bought the journal of the Titanic Society -
0:11:28 > 0:11:31a sort of photocopy, but quite a fat thing.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34And I read it. It's about, I suppose, 100 pages,
0:11:34 > 0:11:37and lots of stuff about the captain and the way it was put together -
0:11:37 > 0:11:41not one reference in the entire book to the fact that it sank.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43LAUGHTER
0:11:43 > 0:11:46I love it when people are positive!
0:11:46 > 0:11:48LAUGHTER
0:11:48 > 0:11:53With the Titanic Society, their ship is always half-empty of water.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57LAUGHTER
0:11:57 > 0:12:01Was it Bill Tidy who did the most fantastic cartoon of all time?
0:12:01 > 0:12:05- And it was a queue of people... - Oh, I love this one, yeah.
0:12:05 > 0:12:10.."information about Titanic", and people are queuing up
0:12:10 > 0:12:13to find out about survivors, women in shawls, and at the back,
0:12:13 > 0:12:16there's two polar bears standing, calling,
0:12:16 > 0:12:18"Any news about the iceberg?"
0:12:18 > 0:12:21LAUGHTER
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- I love that! So great.- Perfect. But I've always thought that
0:12:24 > 0:12:27had I been on the Titanic when it hit that iceberg,
0:12:27 > 0:12:29even though you know you're going to perish,
0:12:29 > 0:12:34seeing, like, 40 penguins fall over is probably about as funny...
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- LAUGHTER - I think the possibility of seeing penguins in the North Pole,
0:12:37 > 0:12:42or the northern reaches of the planet, is pretty remote.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- But there are... - They come from Antarctica.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Oh, damn that global warming!
0:12:49 > 0:12:52You might have seen a Fox's Glacier Mint, probably.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54- JOSH:- What did happen to the iceberg?
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- Now gone, broken up... - It moved on with its life.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- Did it?- Yeah.- It didn't face any punishment, or...?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Now, it would be followed around by the press!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04LAUGHTER
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Raking over its life, you know?
0:13:07 > 0:13:10"Who is this bastard iceberg?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12"He's always been a bastard. He's foreign..."
0:13:12 > 0:13:14LAUGHTER
0:13:14 > 0:13:18"Other foreign icebergs we hate who've ruined our good stuff..."
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Nigel Farage, exactly, is...
0:13:22 > 0:13:25You don't want an iceberg moving in next door to you, do you?
0:13:25 > 0:13:30APPLAUSE
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Anyway, the Statue of Liberty used to be a lighthouse
0:13:34 > 0:13:36and in those days it was brown.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Now for some light relief.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41What's the most interesting thing you can do with a sausage?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Well, she's used hers for a hairpiece.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- She's coiled that round. - A lovely little... Yeah.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52- What's the most interesting thing? - It's got to be something to do...
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- With the loo.- It's got to be.- Yes.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57I'm going to give you the points, because there is a way,
0:13:57 > 0:14:00which is very lavatorial, in which you can improve a sausage,
0:14:00 > 0:14:02which is quite interesting and very surprising.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04What, poo in it?
0:14:04 > 0:14:05- Yes.- Oh...- Come on!- Really?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Baby faeces in a sausage will improve a sausage. Now...
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Oh, no, and I've been throwing them away!
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- Bear with me here.- You need to get some casings and eat that.- Yeah.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Bear with me here.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22According to a study in the journal Meat Science -
0:14:22 > 0:14:24M-E-A-T Science -
0:14:24 > 0:14:28you make sausages healthier by adding bacteria
0:14:28 > 0:14:30extracted from babies' faeces.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Now, the point is, many sausages, pepperoni...
0:14:32 > 0:14:36What are they doing in laboratories, for God's sake?!
0:14:36 > 0:14:38What they try and do is improve things for us to make us healthy.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42And pepperoni and salami are made with bacterial fermentation.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45And the best way you can do that is to use what are known as
0:14:45 > 0:14:49pro-biotic bacteria, ie, bacteria that are said to be good for you.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53And, oddly enough, this Catalonian team
0:14:53 > 0:14:56decided that one of the best types would be baby faeces,
0:14:56 > 0:14:58because, by definition, they would have
0:14:58 > 0:15:01passed through the human system and passed out again,
0:15:01 > 0:15:03and because baby faeces are easy to obtain -
0:15:03 > 0:15:04in fact, the study used nappies
0:15:04 > 0:15:06provided by mother and baby support groups.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Still don't make it right.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Professional tasters confirmed that sausages tasted the same...
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- Oh!- Who does that for a living?!
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- I know.- Did they know what they...?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17They tasted the same, you wouldn't notice.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19That's a rough day down the Jobcentre, that is.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22They are lower in both fat and salt and therefore healthier.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23But it's poo, Stephen!
0:15:23 > 0:15:25It's literally poo!
0:15:25 > 0:15:29It gives a new meaning to potty mouth, doesn't it?
0:15:29 > 0:15:32But it does mean that Alan gets his Spend-A-Penny bonus,
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- which is very good news. - Shut the front door.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36APPLAUSE
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Though, in fact, that was a supplementary question,
0:15:41 > 0:15:42because the original question
0:15:42 > 0:15:44involved the use of sausages in history.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48Sausages...such that a country... We showed you a photograph
0:15:48 > 0:15:50that shows a country that is really fond of sausages...
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- Germany?- Yes.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55It's so useful with the sausages, for Germany, at a particular
0:15:55 > 0:15:58time in history, that people were banned from eating them
0:15:58 > 0:16:01and they were banned in Poland, in Austria,
0:16:01 > 0:16:02in northern France, and...
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Were they using them as part of the war effort?
0:16:04 > 0:16:05Yes, World War I.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09The Germans had a very impressive weapon, which terrorised London.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11GERMAN ACCENT: The Bratwurst lasso.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Which can take a human head off at 100 paces.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- The Zeppelin. - The Zeppelin, is exactly right.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19The Graf Zeppelin, the Count Zeppelin invented this dirigible.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Are you saying that's one enormous sausage?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Well...
0:16:23 > 0:16:26They flew and they dropped baby excrement over London.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28What made it lighter than air?
0:16:28 > 0:16:29- Helium.- Helium.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- Not helium, no.- Hydrogen.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Hydrogen, that's why they were so dangerous,
0:16:33 > 0:16:35because hydrogen is very combustible.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36And they would go over London
0:16:36 > 0:16:39and the chappie at the bottom in the little gondola
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- would drop a bomb... - You make it sound really lovely.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43"The little chappie would go over London..."
0:16:43 > 0:16:46But the thing is, the hydrogen would easily leak from the patches,
0:16:46 > 0:16:49and they found that sausage skins would go over the joins,
0:16:49 > 0:16:52and they would latch onto each other, a bit like Velcro,
0:16:52 > 0:16:55they would stick to each other and they'd seal the whole thing
0:16:55 > 0:16:57so the hydrogen wouldn't leak. Well, now...
0:16:57 > 0:16:59God, more bad news for pigs!
0:16:59 > 0:17:00LAUGHTER
0:17:00 > 0:17:03It was cattle rather than pigs, it was beef sausages.
0:17:03 > 0:17:07So they would just fly like an apocalyptic cow balloon
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- over the top of London and just drop...- Yeah.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12And bullets would go through and they wouldn't be enough
0:17:12 > 0:17:16to bring it down, and it took two years for the British to learn
0:17:16 > 0:17:20how to use incendiary bullets to cause the hydrogen to blow up.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Were they ever struck by lightning?
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Yes, three Zeppelins were downed by lightning.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- Yeah, how about that? - That's brilliant.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29It shows that God was on our side.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34A quarter of a million cows they used, per Zeppelin -
0:17:34 > 0:17:36that's pretty impressive.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38So a quarter of a million cows went into the making of a Zeppelin?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Per Zeppelin, yeah. Which is why they had to
0:17:40 > 0:17:42stop the Germans, the Austrians, the Poles
0:17:42 > 0:17:44and those in Northern France at the time
0:17:44 > 0:17:45from getting their sausages.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48What a shame they didn't do a big cow's face on the front of it.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Oh, that would have been brilliant, wouldn't it?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53They just don't have those artistic flourishes, the Germans, do they?
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- Everything's very functional.- That was my problem with the Nazis(!)
0:17:59 > 0:18:01We spoke earlier about lightning and the Empire Strike...
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- er, Empire State Building. - Empire Strikes Back!
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Confusing me and driving me... The Empire State Building.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09What's the connection between the Empire State Building
0:18:09 > 0:18:11and big dirigible balloons?
0:18:11 > 0:18:13- It was a mooring place. - Yes, a mooring place.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17They originally thought they'd be able to land passengers on the top.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- I've seen that picture.- Wow. That...
0:18:19 > 0:18:22One of these did actually moor itself, in 40mph winds,
0:18:22 > 0:18:25- for a few minutes. - What they needed to do,
0:18:25 > 0:18:27they needed to rub the top of it with a towel...
0:18:27 > 0:18:29LAUGHTER
0:18:29 > 0:18:33- Somebody rubbing the airship. - That would have done it.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35And what is the mast for? Do you know what the mast is...?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38The mast was only there to be taller than the Chrysler Building.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39You're absolutely right.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42The Chrysler Building, they didn't know...
0:18:42 > 0:18:44APPLAUSE
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Were they built at the same sort of time, and competing?
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Yeah, the Chrysler Building was going to be the taller one,
0:18:51 > 0:18:53and they took the mast up the inside of the Empire State Building
0:18:53 > 0:18:55and stuck it on the top at the end.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58The Chrysler Building, I think we can all agree, is more beautiful,
0:18:58 > 0:19:00although they're both quite marvellously decorated.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- They are.- But the Chrysler Building is stunning.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Well, there we are. The linings in German airships
0:19:06 > 0:19:08caused a sausage shortage in World War I.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12What was the charge for the world's first charity single?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Oh, it's not going to be Band Aid, is it?
0:19:14 > 0:19:17- Is the clue in charge? - Yes, it certainly is.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19The Charge of the Light Brigade?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Well done, you.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Absolutely. So that's the beginning of the puzzle opened up.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26So, how can the Charge of the Light Brigade
0:19:26 > 0:19:29have anything to do with a charity single?
0:19:29 > 0:19:32You can't really release... They didn't release a single.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Well, not a single, as it wasn't called a single in those days.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Tennyson, there are cylinder recordings of Alfred Lord Tennyson.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40- Indeed. Yeah.- So maybe he read
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- the Charge of the Light Brigade onto cylinder.- He may have done.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47His voice, "I am Alfred Tennyson," you do hear that, absolutely.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50He did live into the age of the phonograph, as it was then called.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52But this is actually slightly more touching, in a way.
0:19:52 > 0:19:57There was actually a bugler who recorded the Charge,
0:19:57 > 0:19:59which is a particular call on the bugle,
0:19:59 > 0:20:05and he was himself a survivor of the Charge of the Light Brigade,
0:20:05 > 0:20:07and I'll give you all the full details of it.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10He plays the charge that he blew on the day,
0:20:10 > 0:20:12on a bugle that was used at Balaclava,
0:20:12 > 0:20:15which had also previously been used at Waterloo.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- It's a heck of an historic bugle. - That's a pedigree, yeah.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19It was recorded as a charity single to raise money
0:20:19 > 0:20:22for veterans of the Charge who had fallen on hard times.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23And we can play it...
0:20:23 > 0:20:27That's the last thing they want to hear, though, isn't it?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29- They'd be terrified.- Oh, my God!
0:20:30 > 0:20:32But we can hear it now.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37SCRATCHY RECORDING OF BUGLE PLAYING
0:20:43 > 0:20:45There you are.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47That was Martin Landfried, who was a bugler
0:20:47 > 0:20:52and he made that recording in 1890, and the Light Brigade was 1854.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53Incredible quality.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55It's not bad quality, really, is it?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57And that was to help all veterans?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Or just specifically veterans of that particular failed...?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Specifically the veterans of the Charge, yeah.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03So, bugler Martin Landfried lifted
0:21:03 > 0:21:06the spirits of the Light Brigade at Balaclava.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10How did Chicago get completely screwed up?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12They put Catherine Zeta-Jones in it.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:21:14 > 0:21:16You are a naughty girl.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- I love that film, it's brilliant. - Didn't she get an Oscar?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- Yeah, she won an Oscar. - I'm joking, she was really good.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- I liked it.- It was a cheap shot. - The sort of Bob Fosse-style choreography.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- They boarded it up with screws. - Sort of.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32- It was literally screwed up? - Is it to do with Prohibition?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- Because it's the Windy City? - Not because it's windy, no.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Or Barack Obama. It's always prohibition or Barack Obama.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39- No, it was before either. - Valentine's Day Massacre.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43- It's Prohibition or Barack Obama or Valentine's Day Massacre. - Before any of those.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45So it's, what, Victorian?
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Literally the founding of Chicago. It was a huge stop off on Lake...?
0:21:49 > 0:21:52- Michigan. - Michigan, Lake Michigan.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55And, unfortunately, it was built on a swamp,
0:21:55 > 0:21:59and typhus and typhoid were absolutely ravaging the population.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02So they decided, with good old American know-how
0:22:02 > 0:22:05and sort of optimism, they would jack the city up,
0:22:05 > 0:22:08they would screw it up with screw jacks, as they're called.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10And there you can see the grey bit all along the bottom,
0:22:10 > 0:22:13because they literally were screwing it up,
0:22:13 > 0:22:15while people were living in it. There was the Tremont Hotel,
0:22:15 > 0:22:19which covered a whole acre, which they screwed up, there it is.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22They screwed it up and they didn't even close the hotel
0:22:22 > 0:22:24while it was being lifted up off the ground.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27And underneath, in the space, the crawl space, you might say,
0:22:27 > 0:22:30they put sewage and fresh water and so on,
0:22:30 > 0:22:32and it was a resounding success. And Chicago became...
0:22:32 > 0:22:35So there wasn't someone who went to bed in that hotel
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- and woke up and went, "What the hell has gone on?" - "I'm on a different floor!"
0:22:39 > 0:22:42And, also, the river was full of sewage,
0:22:42 > 0:22:45it flowed into the clean Michigan, and so with an ingenious
0:22:45 > 0:22:48system of locks they made it reverse in the other direction.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50And once a year they dye the river,
0:22:50 > 0:22:53which goes beautifully like a Venetian canal,
0:22:53 > 0:22:55they dye it green. Why would they do that?
0:22:55 > 0:22:56- Paddy's Day.- Indeed.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Cos there are lots of Irish and they have the bagpipes and so on.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01And it's a beautiful city, I love it.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04That is actually for real, we haven't done that with Photoshop.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06- Really?- Yeah. That is how it looks.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08So what dye, what...?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Green dye. - LAUGHTER
0:23:10 > 0:23:12APPLAUSE
0:23:12 > 0:23:16- I'm sorry, I can't do better than that.- I'll accept that. No, no. - I wish I could help.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Probably named viridian or something, emerald.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21The towns and cities further down the river
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- get St Patrick's Day on the wrong day. - LAUGHTER
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Yes, the entire city of Chicago was jacked ten feet in the air
0:23:28 > 0:23:30to make room for the plumbing.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Now let's lighten the mood with a little light General Ignorance.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Fingers lightly on your buzzers, please.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Name one of the rules in a walking race.
0:23:37 > 0:23:38You're not allowed to run, are you?
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Well, you certainly can't run, but how do you judge that?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Isn't it that some part of your foot
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- has to be in contact with the ground?- Oooh...
0:23:47 > 0:23:49KLAXON BLARES
0:23:49 > 0:23:51There you are, you see.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Are those shorts strictly legal, though?
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- No.- Oh, hello! - There's a little bit of swinging.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59- Oh, God, you can really see it! - Just cover that with your hand.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03- Oh, dear.- Oh, that's really... - Please make that stop.- Oh! Wahey!
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- Please make that stop. - Oh, that's so wrong.- Oh, dear.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Ah, he's getting nearer! Oh!
0:24:09 > 0:24:10Look at the feet!
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- God, no, no! - Look at the feet!- God, no!
0:24:13 > 0:24:15I feel like we've gone back to the sausage round.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17It's gone, it's gone.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Look at the feet, don't look at the trunks.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22That isn't a tip to one of the rules we should know, is it?
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- No pants.- Yeah. Swinging basket.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Keep the junk in the trunk, I think is one of the rules.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31No, the fact is, I will read you the rule if you want to know it.
0:24:31 > 0:24:32- It's the... - Why are penises so funny?
0:24:32 > 0:24:35From the International Association of Athletics Federations,
0:24:35 > 0:24:38the rule book says, "Race walking," as it's called,
0:24:38 > 0:24:41"is a progression of steps so taken that the walker makes contact with
0:24:41 > 0:24:44"the ground so that no visible to the human eye loss of contact occurs."
0:24:44 > 0:24:47All Olympic walkers, when you slow them down on TV, have moments,
0:24:47 > 0:24:51a few milliseconds, sometimes, when both feet are off the ground,
0:24:51 > 0:24:53but it's not visible to the human eye.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Nowadays you can freeze frame just about anything incredibly accurately,
0:24:56 > 0:24:59so Olympic Games broadcasters and Olympic judges
0:24:59 > 0:25:01get absolutely bombarded with calls from people
0:25:01 > 0:25:04furious cos they've seen both feet off the ground
0:25:04 > 0:25:06and they're convinced that must be against the rules.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- But, actually, it isn't.- How do you get into it? That's...- I know.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Because it looks so silly, the bottom swinging...
0:25:11 > 0:25:14We've all... I know people that are fast walkers,
0:25:14 > 0:25:17but you never go... "You should go for this."
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- No, I know. - But it's that action with the elbows
0:25:20 > 0:25:22- that I find really weird.- It's very hard to talk about it without...
0:25:22 > 0:25:25It's like when you go on a spiral staircase and you do that.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I'm feeling my bum going now.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31I've actually picked several stitches out of this upholstery.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Have you seen that video, the two women finishing,
0:25:34 > 0:25:37trying to finish the walking race? I'm not sure if it's the Olympics.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39- And they end up crawling.- Oh, no.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- It is absolutely... - Because they're so exhausted?
0:25:41 > 0:25:42They're so exhausted.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Both their legs have gone... Never seen legs go like jelly.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48My legs went to jelly. I did this thing with Bear Grylls
0:25:48 > 0:25:50where I had to do this rappel down a sheer face.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53I have never been so terrified in my entire life.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57- I got there, I...- Sorry, you rappelled down Bear Grylls' face?
0:25:57 > 0:25:58LAUGHTER
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Kind of(!) If you like. He chose the face.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03LAUGHTER
0:26:03 > 0:26:05And then your legs went to jelly.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07LAUGHTER
0:26:07 > 0:26:10The really frightening thing was, he took me to the edge
0:26:10 > 0:26:12and then there was 45 minutes of...
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Sorry, Bear Grylls took you to the edge... LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:26:15 > 0:26:17APPLAUSE
0:26:18 > 0:26:22And then what? Then there was a tantalising 45 minutes...
0:26:22 > 0:26:24I mean, that's a wait. That is a wait.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- That's high-tensile, that is. - I'm so sorry.
0:26:27 > 0:26:28- The real thing!- Yeah.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- Sometimes I don't know what comes out. - To be on the cusp for 45 minutes...
0:26:31 > 0:26:36There was 45 minutes of true talking about safety things
0:26:36 > 0:26:39and about the sound people hiding themselves in nooks and crannies
0:26:39 > 0:26:41so that a helicopter shot could go round...
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Top drawer porn.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44LAUGHTER
0:26:45 > 0:26:47You don't get many aerial shots, do you?
0:26:49 > 0:26:51You won't get that on Redtube.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54So once I'd got down this sheer face, I found my legs had -
0:26:54 > 0:26:58exactly the same - just gave way. I couldn't stand.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01So I had to arse-luge all my way down this slope...
0:27:01 > 0:27:03LAUGHTER
0:27:03 > 0:27:06And it ripped the entire outer layer of trousering.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Did it sound like this? RIPPING CLOTH
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Yes, it did!
0:27:13 > 0:27:15LAUGHTER
0:27:15 > 0:27:17He is terrible. Anyway.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Race walking is often seen as a comical event
0:27:19 > 0:27:21and someone once described it as like having
0:27:21 > 0:27:23a competition to see who can whisper the loudest.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Now, here's the crew of the International Space Station.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Why are they weightless?
0:27:30 > 0:27:32- Oh...- Yes?
0:27:32 > 0:27:35- Because they're in zero gravity. - Oh, dear!
0:27:35 > 0:27:36KLAXON
0:27:38 > 0:27:40- A common misapprehension.- Yeah.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44No, that's not it at all. There's a huge amount of gravity, they're very close to the Earth.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46- The moon is...- Oh, they weren't in flight at that point?
0:27:46 > 0:27:48No, they were orbiting the Earth.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50But they're in free-fall, a bit like sky divers.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52And, fortunately, unlike sky divers,
0:27:52 > 0:27:55they're also travelling sideways at the same time.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57If they weren't, they would crash into the earth.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00there's certainly not zero gravity, there's a lot of gravity.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03The Space Station, and the astronauts in free-fall inside it,
0:28:03 > 0:28:06is plummeting towards the Earth but, because of its curvature,
0:28:06 > 0:28:09the ground is falling away from them at the same speed
0:28:09 > 0:28:11as they're falling towards it.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13To put it another way, the Space Station is constantly falling,
0:28:13 > 0:28:16but its tremendous horizontal speed means that it always falls
0:28:16 > 0:28:18over the horizon.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20They love karaoke, don't they? They love that.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22But it's not that there is no gravity acting on them.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25There's a huge amount of gravity acting on the spacecraft,
0:28:25 > 0:28:26or it would just be lost in space.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29So, you didn't do so well on that, so maybe you'll do better on this.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Why do spacecraft get hot on re-entry?
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Why do they get hot?
0:28:34 > 0:28:37- Friction?- Oh, darling Sue, thank you.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39- Yeah, you're welcome. - We hoped for that.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43Yeah. Well, you came to the right place if you wanted idiot.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46No! You're not idiotic, most of us would have said friction.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48It's not friction, actually. It's what's called a bow shock.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51It's the pressure on the air in front of it,
0:28:51 > 0:28:54like a bow wave of a ship, and the faster you go
0:28:54 > 0:28:58the hotter it becomes, because of this enormous pressure on the air.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01And there are other examples of that sort of effect,
0:29:01 > 0:29:03like a sonic boom, for example,
0:29:03 > 0:29:07when you're going faster, which is also a sort of bow shock.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Everything I know about space is entirely taken
0:29:09 > 0:29:12from Sandra Bullock's performance in Gravity.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15Everything I know about space comes from reading The Right Stuff,
0:29:15 > 0:29:19and I know that if you get it wrong, when you re-enter,
0:29:19 > 0:29:21- you can skip off the atmosphere. - Oh, absolutely.
0:29:21 > 0:29:22No, what, like a stone?
0:29:22 > 0:29:25Yeah, then you'll just never come back.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27- Then you just keep going.- Yeah. - Yeah.
0:29:27 > 0:29:31Well, the fact is, spacecraft heat up on re-entry
0:29:31 > 0:29:33because of the bow shock, not the friction.
0:29:33 > 0:29:34What do beavers eat?
0:29:36 > 0:29:37Good beaver shot.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40- LAUGHTER - Yes, Josh.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43Erm...wood.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46..is the right answer. We were hoping you might say fish.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49They are, in fact, completely vegan. They just eat wood and plants
0:29:49 > 0:29:51and algae, seaweed, things like that.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54Absolute nightmare at a dinner party.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57- The wood course.- So they dam the river just for breeding purposes?
0:29:57 > 0:30:00They dam the river for breeding, exactly. For creating a lodge.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02I've seen one. I've stood on one.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04You've stood on one?
0:30:04 > 0:30:06- Oh, you can. They're really solid.- Oh!
0:30:06 > 0:30:08Did you deliberately stand on it?
0:30:08 > 0:30:11- Yeah, well, it...- You can. You're invited to.- Is it like surfing?
0:30:11 > 0:30:14- It's like a tourist thing.- They don't mind. They don't seem to mind.
0:30:14 > 0:30:15You can get from the bank onto it,
0:30:15 > 0:30:18and it's this great construction of logs and branches.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21Oh, I thought you stood on a beaver! You didn't stand on...
0:30:21 > 0:30:25LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:30:25 > 0:30:26I thought you were beaver-surfing!
0:30:30 > 0:30:33We've all got the internet, after all!
0:30:33 > 0:30:35Beaver-surfing is quite different.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38I'll tell you a very interesting beaver fact, though.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41If you take a beaver out of its natural environment,
0:30:41 > 0:30:42which is by a river,
0:30:42 > 0:30:45and put it in the middle of a forest far from a river,
0:30:45 > 0:30:48and turn on a tape recorder which has the sound of a gurgling river,
0:30:48 > 0:30:50it will build a dam.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52It doesn't need to see or feel the water.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55Unfortunately, in Scotland and places like that where
0:30:55 > 0:30:58there have been attempts to try and reintroduce the beaver,
0:30:58 > 0:31:00people wrongly think they eat fish
0:31:00 > 0:31:02and that they'll threaten the salmon or trout or whatever,
0:31:02 > 0:31:04but, of course, they don't eat fish.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06- They just destroy forests! - Well, yeah!
0:31:06 > 0:31:09Well, they have a nibble, anyway.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12And, finally, who fancies a quantum-locking levitation lark?
0:31:12 > 0:31:15And to help me tonight we have Professor Andrew Boothroyd
0:31:15 > 0:31:18of the Physics Department of Oxford University.
0:31:18 > 0:31:19Hello, Andrew!
0:31:19 > 0:31:21APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:31:23 > 0:31:26So, here we go, this is going to go over my head, so I'm going to duck.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Ta-da! There it is.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32An exciting tray and what looks like a bit of sort of Scalextric
0:31:32 > 0:31:33and let's just line it up there.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36We've got a little bucket here, what's in this bucket, Andrew?
0:31:36 > 0:31:38That's a bucket of liquid nitrogen.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Liquid nitrogen which, as you know, is extremely cold,
0:31:40 > 0:31:43and I'm going to dip a rose into it, just to show how cold it is.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45I'd better put these gloves on first. Health and safety.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47Heston Blumenthal's making a rose dish!
0:31:49 > 0:31:53Oh, and these. All safety. Safety, safety, safety.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56- Yeah, as long as you're safe, that's the main thing!- Yeah, quite.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Here we go.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01So, I'm going to dip a rose into this, you might have had this...
0:32:01 > 0:32:02Ooh! Bubbles away.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07It's really cold now.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09And it might even shatter.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12Oh!
0:32:12 > 0:32:14Look at that, like glass.
0:32:14 > 0:32:17- Shall I not touch the bit that's landed on me?!- No, that's fine.
0:32:17 > 0:32:18LAUGHTER
0:32:18 > 0:32:20Is it burning into your skin?
0:32:20 > 0:32:21It shatters like glass.
0:32:21 > 0:32:25I've got a little wart on my finger, is this a chance to burn it off?
0:32:26 > 0:32:29- You might get a little cryo... - And the rest of your hand.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32It would be a great way of dumping someone on Valentine's Day.
0:32:32 > 0:32:33LAUGHTER
0:32:35 > 0:32:37So, what have we got here, Andrew?
0:32:37 > 0:32:41We've got here a piece of ordinary-looking black ceramic,
0:32:41 > 0:32:43which, when we cool it down to very low temperatures,
0:32:43 > 0:32:46acquires a very extraordinary property.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48- OK.- So if you'd just like to cool it down with liquid nitrogen.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51- I shall baste it with liquid nitrogen.- Oh, my word.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55- There we are. - And we have a second one over here.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58- Oh, right.- Do that one, too. - I'll cool that, as well.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01This is like the beginning of every pop video in the '80s.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04Tell me what's particular about this?
0:33:04 > 0:33:06It loses all its resistance, its electrical resistance,
0:33:06 > 0:33:09- and becomes what's known as a superconductor.- Ah, yes.
0:33:09 > 0:33:10That's one thing.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13And the other thing is that it acquires the property
0:33:13 > 0:33:16that it can bend magnetic field lines
0:33:16 > 0:33:18in such a way that it will always try
0:33:18 > 0:33:23to resist any motion, even if that means hovering above the ground.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25All right. So let's pick it up
0:33:25 > 0:33:26and pop it...
0:33:26 > 0:33:27Whoops!
0:33:29 > 0:33:30There it goes.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32- Whoa!- Oh, wow!- Cool.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35- Yeah, it's pretty good, isn't it? - Literally.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39That makes no effect and you can just give it a tip...
0:33:39 > 0:33:41SUE: Oh, that's very strange.
0:33:41 > 0:33:42Yeah. There we are.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44And as it warms up it'll slowly sink.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46- Oh, wow.- There you go.
0:33:46 > 0:33:50Is this what you do most days at the Oxford University?
0:33:50 > 0:33:52Almost every day.
0:33:52 > 0:33:53It's not a bad old job.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55So this one here,
0:33:55 > 0:33:56is very exciting.
0:33:56 > 0:33:59And now it's nice and slidey.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01But look at this.
0:34:04 > 0:34:06- Cool.- And what's happening there?
0:34:06 > 0:34:09- It's the magnetic field, isn't it? - That's correct.- It's interrupted
0:34:09 > 0:34:11- by this superconductivity. - But it's not like a normal magnet,
0:34:11 > 0:34:14cos a normal magnet would repel when it's up that way
0:34:14 > 0:34:15and then it would just fall off.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18So this is both repelling and attracting at the same time.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20I'm going to give it one more little go
0:34:20 > 0:34:22and then we can try it on the track.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25I thought you were going to say, "And then we can try it on Alan."
0:34:25 > 0:34:27- LAUGHTER - That would not be nice.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29- No! - Upside down in a bucket of nitrogen.
0:34:31 > 0:34:32There we go. Pop it there.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36- Oh, wow!- Fantastic.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38- Round it goes.- That's cool. - That's amazing.- Isn't it good?
0:34:38 > 0:34:41- FRANK:- Can someone pass the Sellotape?
0:34:41 > 0:34:43- It's like a steam train. - And it's like a steam train,
0:34:43 > 0:34:44it can go the other way.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47- We can put the wrong type of leaf on the track. - LAUGHTER
0:34:50 > 0:34:52And is this going to get us to Mars? That's the main question.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54Well, what do you think, Andrew?
0:34:54 > 0:34:56Are there any practical applications we can think of?
0:34:56 > 0:34:58You could use it as a piece of transport like that,
0:34:58 > 0:35:01but it's expensive because of the cost of cooling the nitrogen.
0:35:01 > 0:35:02So it's not efficient.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05But if we could find a superconductor
0:35:05 > 0:35:08that worked at room temperature, then it would be viable.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10- Right. - SUE:- Are you working on that?
0:35:10 > 0:35:12- We are, yes indeed, yes, I am. - I trust you.
0:35:12 > 0:35:13- JOSH:- I bet they're not!
0:35:13 > 0:35:17They're just playing with this all the time, that's what I'd be doing.
0:35:17 > 0:35:18I know, isn't it gorgeous?
0:35:18 > 0:35:21So you'd think it would almost be like a maglev train.
0:35:21 > 0:35:22That's what it would be like.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24- Oh, there we go again. I love that.- Oh, I love it.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26And this, of course, can go on here, as well.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29- Oh!- Oh! Oh! Oh!
0:35:29 > 0:35:31Argh! Ahhh!
0:35:31 > 0:35:34Don't be too scared. It's all right.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36LAUGHTER
0:35:36 > 0:35:38What a pussy!
0:35:38 > 0:35:39Sorry!
0:35:39 > 0:35:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:35:42 > 0:35:44- That's my favourite one.- Boing!
0:35:44 > 0:35:47Oh, it's coming round, it's coming round, it's coming round!
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Unfortunately, this one is less insulated and it'll probably get...
0:35:50 > 0:35:53- Oh, that's stopped it. - It's doing pretty well.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55- It is, isn't it?- Oh, my God, that's coming for me. Oh, no.
0:35:57 > 0:35:58Cool.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00Oh, there you go. Bless its heart.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03That would be like the best Christmas present in the world.
0:36:03 > 0:36:04What is the magnet made of?
0:36:04 > 0:36:07It's rather exciting names - boron and...?
0:36:07 > 0:36:09The magnet is made of neodymium, iron and boron
0:36:09 > 0:36:12- and that's what the track is made of.- Neodymium?
0:36:12 > 0:36:14- Neodymium and iron and boron. - Wonderful.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16The superconductor is made of gadolinium, barium,
0:36:16 > 0:36:17copper and oxygen.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20SUE: But you can just use sticky-backed plastic...
0:36:20 > 0:36:22LAUGHTER
0:36:22 > 0:36:23..and a Fairy Liquid bottle.
0:36:23 > 0:36:27Well, there you have the miracle that is quantum levitation.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30- Thanks to Andrew Boothroyd. - SUE: Amazing, Andrew, amazing.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Thank you, Andrew. Thank you so much.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39For once...
0:36:39 > 0:36:42For once I can say what could be cooler than that?
0:36:42 > 0:36:44That's all the levity we've got time for,
0:36:44 > 0:36:46so let's have a look at the scores.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48It's very exciting.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51I'm afraid, bringing up the rear with minus 14 is Sue Perkins.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54APPLAUSE
0:36:56 > 0:37:00With minus seven, in third place, is Frank Skinner!
0:37:00 > 0:37:02APPLAUSE
0:37:05 > 0:37:09Well, in a brilliant second is Josh Widdicombe, with five.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11APPLAUSE
0:37:13 > 0:37:17- Be still, my pulsing member, in first place... - LAUGHTER
0:37:17 > 0:37:19..with 11 points, is Alan Davies!
0:37:19 > 0:37:21APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:37:24 > 0:37:28Well, thanks for watching and good night
0:37:28 > 0:37:30from Sue, Frank, Josh, Alan and me.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33We leave you to ponder upon the last words of the French satirist,
0:37:33 > 0:37:36Francois Rabelais, in 1553.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38These were his dying words -
0:37:38 > 0:37:42"I have nothing, I owe much, the rest I leave to the poor."
0:37:42 > 0:37:43Good night.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45APPLAUSE